Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #212 December 6th, 1999 The Opening Word: My move is coming along more slowly than expected, and is really playing havoc with my work schedule (and doing these Recaps). By next week, though, things should be back to normal ... whatever that is. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund is on hand to interview Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett does his usual schtick. He blames his woes of late on Dustin Rhodes. Mike Tenay then comes out and says he's taking matters into his own hands, since he can't get anyone to punish Jarrett for smashing a guitar over his head last week. Jarrett plunks him, then slaps on the Figure Four. Goldberg comes out for the save. I don't think the fans care about Tenay, but Jarrett definitely seems to be getting over. Schiavone runs down tonight's card. Tony Marinara and his Goombahs are in the house, looking for Disco Inferno and Lash LeRoux. Why are these guys allowed into the building? It's not as if they're wrestlers or anything, right? What's the difference between these guys hunting down wrestlers backstage, and some fan running into the ring? Wouldn't Disco and Lash's troubles all be over if they just went up to Doug Dellinger and said "there's these three guys following us. Please don't let them in the building"? I mean, jeezus, remember a few months back when this Marinara guys was an "obsessed fan" following Lodi, and every time he came to the ring, security escorted him out?! So what's the difference now? I don't care what Vince Russo says, there's no logic to these characters or their angle whatsoever. Speaking of whom, Curt Hennig tries to get the Powers That Be to hire Curly Bill. They'll now call him "Shane". In case you don't get it, some backstory: when he was in the WWF they called him "Virgil", as some kind of obscure shot at Dusty Rhodes (Virgil Runnels). When he came to WCW, they changed his name to "Vincent", as a shot at Vince McMahon. Now they're taking a poke at Shane McMahon. What-evuh! How'd you like to be part of a lame running joke more than a decade old? Rhonda Singh closes out the segment, wanting to see the PTB. - Last week Fit Finlay cut Brian Knobbs' hair, saying something about him being a soldier. This week we see Knobbs out in the woods. He meets up with Finlay, who, dressed in military fatigues, is going to teach Knobbs to be a soldier. Or something. - Norman Smiley, dressed in Green Bay Packers gear, is out to face a mystery opponent in a Hardcore Match. The opponent turns out to be ... SCREAMIN' NORMAN SMILEY vs. RHONDA SINGH Wonder why WCW is losing their core audience? A friend of my brother's, an older gentleman with a grandchild, is over at my house, watching the show during this match. He's a big fan of Goldberg and Sting, and doesn't watch the WWF at all (he doesn't even know who the Rock is!) Watching this match all he could do is continually say things like "who is this woman?", "Why is she hitting him with a garbage can?" and "I don't like this, it doesn't look real." That probably speaks volumes. Myself, on the other hand, had a good laugh over the match, especially when Norman did the "Smack My Bitch Up" Big Wiggle right behind her. Norman puts her through a table, staggers around for several seconds, then covers for the pin. David Flair kidnaps Symphony as the Maestro tunes his piano. Ryan Shamrock has either come down on her asking price, or is still appearing on a nightly basis. Juventud Guerrera has a broken arm, so the PTB tell Psychosis and La Parka that one of them will defend the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title against Jushin Thunder Liger. Psychosis attacks La Parka, earning the shot. There's Bret Hart. - Lex Luger tries to talk to Liz. Tony Marinara, supposedly in the building to look for Disco Inferno, is now holed up in a room backstage. There's a knock on the door, supposedly a pizza delivery man. It turns out to be Disco & LeRoux. Where the hell are Johnny "the Bull" and Vito? - JUSHIN THUNDER LIGER vs. PSYCHOSIS Psychosis should have never lost his mask. He's one funny looking dude. I don't know how big this arena is, but it sounds like a high school gymnasium all of a sudden. The announcers take a while to realize that Buzzkill is walking around ringside through the crowd carrying a sign. Short match. Good, but nothing special, with Liger regaining his IWGP belt by pinfall. La Parka then comes out and chairs Psychosis. Some Nitro Girls play poker, badmouthing the other Nitro Girls. Vito and Johnny "the Bull" happen along. Strip poker? Yeah, like any of those Nitro Girls are going to lose any of their clothes. Will the Dudley Boyz be breaking this game up? More of Luger and Elizabeth. - Maestro, in search of Symphony. "Mean" Gene interviews Mona's breasts. Didn't he do this on Thunder too? She'll be facing Madusa and Evan Karagias in a Triple Threat Match tonight. - EVAN KARAGIAS vs. MADUSA vs. MONA In her interview Mona said she was more than "T&A", yet she still wrestles in that ridiculous cleavage-baring evening gown and bare feet. Karagias sits in on color commentary, merely watching the match until Mona gets the upper hand, at which point he interjects himself. Madusa rolls up Evan for the easy win. The story here, if I get it, is that Evan is just giving Madusa the titleshot so he can get sex. I still can't shake the feeling that part of this angle is some kind of shot at Chyna's being the Intercontinental Champion. I'm not wild about the idea of Madusa being the Cruiserweight Champ, but I wouldn't say I'm opposed to it. I guess she makes the weight limit. Oh, Jeff Jarrett runs in and wallops Mona with a guitar, then throws out a challenge to Goldberg. Schiavone's going nuts here. I wish the WWF would create a "parody" announcer named "Atlanta". Kevin kelly could play him. Tony Marinara's been tied to a chair. What was it Russo said about nobody in WCW being pushed, and everyone just appearing in one TV segment? We've seen Marinara three times tonight already. - There's the Maestro ... and David Flair. Vampiro and Jerry Only face "Dr. Death" Steve Williams and Oklahoma. Man, that ought to suck more than the suckiest suck that ever sucked. Vampiro has Oklahoma's hat. - "DR. DEATH" STEVE WILLIAMS/OKLAHOMA vs. VAMPIRO/JERRY ONLY Oh God, Ed Ferrara's one unattractive man. Squat, chunky, hairy, head of hair like broccoli. Where did he get Prince Albert's back hair? By the way, that Jim Ross/Bells Palsy imitation he's been doing that WCW steadfastly denied was offensive? Turns out some sufferers of Bells Palsy wrote Turner to complain, so Ferrara's been ordered to drop it. Oklahoma says he was cured by being doused in his BBQ sauce last week. For the match here he's wearing a headset microphone, so he can call the action while wrestling. Some funny stuff, actually. The match itself is mediocre (and thus a surprise, not being as awful as I'd imagined it would). The finish sees Oklahoma pin Vampiro, marking yet another occasion of a booker giving himself a win over a far more talented wrestler. Didn't bug me too much, as I'm not a huge Vampiro fan. I'm sure there's a lot of folks out there up in arms, though. Oklahoma gets his hat back. The Nitro Girls are winning, of course. Yeah, show me that Guido naked! WHEN WILL THIS HOUR END!!! Um, I mean, they show molasses being readied to be poured on Tony Marinara. The feathers will come next. Yeah, if I was being hunted by THE MAFIA I'd tar & feather one of their boys too. There's Lex Luger. There's Bret Hart. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Mean" Gene gets comments from the Outsiders. - BRET "HITMAN" HART vs. LEX LUGER Hah, the crowd's ragging on Schiavone! During the match Liz comes out, followed by Sting, who asks if she wants to hook up with him, or stay with Luger? Luger, distracted, falls victim to a Russian legsweep and the Sharpshooter. Curt Hennig tries to get the Powers That Be to hire Curly Bill. They'll now call him "Shane". In case you don't get it, some backstory: when he was in the WWF they called him "Virgil", as some kind of obscure shot at Dusty Rhodes (Virgil Runnels). When he came to WCW, they changed his name to "Vincent", as a shot at Vince McMahon. Now they're taking a poke at Shane McMahon. What-evuh! How'd you like to be part of a lame running joke more than a decade old? Rhonda Singh closes out the segment, wanting to see the PTB. Saaaay ... that last segment looked mighty familiar. OOPS! There's Midnight. She's looking for Harlem Heat. - The PTB names La Parka their official "chairman". Harlem Heat are then brought in, and the beatdown ensues. I wonder if this was the clip they were supposed to show, instead of replaying the clip from the first hour? - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper has arrived. David Flair is off somewhere molesting Symphony. Jerry Flynn, interviewed by Okerlund, throws out an open challenge for another of those stupid fights in "the Block". - The Revolution, dressed in black SWAT team gear, hit the ring waving their flag. Shane Douglas says "stinkin'" several times, drawing an "asshole" chant from the crowd. Saturn makes his usual dopey comment. Then the lights go out. ASYA (w/ the Revolution) vs. MIDNIGHT For like a minute this is the best wrestling you're likely to see in WCW, with Midnight looking impressive, and Asya pulling her head out of her ass long enough to keep up. The other members of the Revolution then interfere. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan comes out for the save, but is laid out, buried beneath the American flag. At least his 2X4 was real this time. Larry Zbyszko is on Nitro, summoned by the PTB. There's Roddy Piper. A fake Nitro Party video introduces us to a fan who thinks David Flair is groovy. At least I think it's a fake. We'll know if she's on again next week. - "ROWDY" RODDY PIPER vs. CREATIVE CONTROL Total junk. Piper is also the ref, and why he just doesn't declare himself the winner I have no idea. Creative Control work Piper over until Goldberg makes the save. They tease some kind of tension between he and Piper. Marinara's been molasses-ed & feathered. Why does Marinara talk like a character from "Welcome Back Kotter"? The Nitro Girls are cheating, which is really lame because they show us them doing it, but somehow Vito & Johnny can't see it. (One of them is distracted, but the camera angle clearly shows that the other can't possibly have missed it.) - The Maestro's picked up Symphony's trail, finding one of her shoes. - DUSTIN RHODES vs. MENG Rhodes has the fancy coat, but has dropped the white facepaint. Rhodes looks really out of shape, and seems to blow up mere moments into the match. Good thing Jeff Jarrett runs in almost immediately. DQ. Dustin gets the upper hand, and is about to deliver the Shattered Dreams nut kick in the corner, when he's attacked by the Outsiders. Meng no-sells a guitar shot from Jarrett. Nash jackknifes Dustin. We're seeing a lot from the main eventers tonight--something which last week's poor ratings were blamed on. Russo asks Zbyszko why he thinks Thunder sucks. Larry says it's because the big name stars aren't on. Russo says starting this week, that will change. I can't believe they just admitted, in front of the fans, that Thunder sucks! By the time we're done here Larry has been booked in a match against Curt Hennig. If Hennig wins, Larry is gone from WCW. If Larry wins, Russo is gone. Bye-bye, Larry. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince ... Iaukea. I hope WCW gets sued. - CURT HENNIG (w/ "Shane") vs. LARRY ZBYSZKO Damn, talk about hotshotting an angle. This could have been a drawing point for Starrcade! Larry dominates early. Ref bump! Hennig takes over. "Shane" interferes. Arn Anderson then runs in to take out "Shane" and Hennig. Zbyszko rolled on top, gets the pin. Ah, but here comes Creative Control to cue up a replay on the big screen. Instant replay? In wrestling? The referee reverses the decision (ignoring the blatant interference of "Shane"), giving Hennig the win and forcing Zybszko to leave the company. Well, if you're going to hotshot an angle you might as well give it a Dusty Finish. Now Larry can do run-ins like the recently fired Arn Anderson. There's Chris Benoit. There's the Outsiders. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Disco & LeRoux are still gloating over the gunked & feathered Marinara. The Mob Guys, who have lost all their clothes to the Nitro girls, finally look at THE TV MONITOR RIGHT THERE and see what's been happening to Marinara! Ah, I get it ... they're all RETARDED. - KEVIN NASH (w/ Scott Hall) vs. CHRIS BENOIT The Outsiders have a ladder with them, and Hall sits on it while watching the match. Nash is a house afire, meaning his beams make noises of protest as they collapse under their own weight. That's a bad leg joke. Or just a bad joke. Anyway, Benoit gets in streaks of offense, halted by the occasional move from Nash. Nash is showing a bit more energy than usual. Then Hall clocks the ref and Sid comes out and that's that. There's Diamond Dallas Page. There's the Mob Guys. - "Mean" Gene gets some generic comments from Sting re: Liz, Luger and the Outsiders. - The Mob Guys are out, saying they're sick of the fans (which is odd since they haven't really done anything in front of the crowd yet). They call out Disco and Lash. Why is WCW allowing these two mob enforcers to come out to the ring, tie up TV time, and fight with their wrestlers? Those two girls who humiliated the two monsters come out instead. THEY'RE JUST LETTING IN PEOPLE OFF THE STREET NOW. Johnny "the Bull" threatens to beat them up. Disco and Lash run in them, through the crowd, and attack. But here comes Marinara, somehow untied from that chair, and he takes them out with a pipe. WHERE'S SECURITY DURING THIS?! I hate to keep harping on it, but this is like the most illogical, retarded angle I've ever seen. ... followed up by the Maestro/Symphony/Flair storyline. Okay, so WCW just lets all this shit go down because the fighting and such draws ratings (in theory). Right, so why doesn't the guy who is taping Flair in his hiding place tell the production truck where he is (they have wireless communication devices). The truck can then tell the cameraman covering the Maestro where they are. He tells the Maestro, and BAM!--a brawl breaks out. They film it, ratings go up. (Of course if they did fight, you know security would THEN show up to break them up.) - Disco & Lash are dumped into a waiting car. Marinara then faints, or has a spell of some kind, and nearly collapses to the ground. As he's being checked on, and the Mob Guys are whooping it up, the car roars away. Guess Disco or Lash woke up and drove off. WE WAITED THREE HOURS FOR THIS?! The Maestro has stumbled into the Block. Low frame rate, poor lighting, and a picture effect that makes it look like we're watching an old, underground film ... yay. He and Jerry Flynn fight. David Flair shows up. The fans, as usual for these "matches", are booing. This is as annoying as that time Mankind and Kane wrestled a match and the ring was bathed in red light. It hurts the eyes just to look at. "Mean" Gene interviews referee Nick Patrick. Patrick says he's going to bar everyone from ringside for the next match. There's Sting. And Liz. There's Diamond Dallas Page. - STING (w/ Liz) vs. SCOTT HALL (w/ Kevin Nash) I thought everyone was barred from ringside? Well, Sting wins this one sort of cleanly (though not really). When no one's looking, Liz squirts Mace in Hall's eyes. A Stinger Splash, followed by the Scorpion Deathlock, and Hall does the job again. Did they say this was non-title? Shouldn't Sting be the U.S. Champ? Okay match. - David Flair's dragging Symphony around. You know, this is one boastful comment away from being a "rape angle". Doesn't matter if it's true--as long as he says it, it's rape. They're in the ring now. Flair calls out the Maestro. Ah, but the Maestro was taken out by Jerry Flynn (a half hour or so ago), and I'm sure he's still unconscious. Here comes DDP instead. DDP takes him out instantly with a Diamond Cutter (oh yeah, that's going to be a gooooood PPV match). DDP then gets on the mic and talks about rumors saying he was trying to go to the WWF. DDP denies them, sort of, saying "you leave with the one who brought you to the dance." (Ummm ... technically, wasn't that Eric Bischoff? What if Bischoff goes to the WWF, as is being rumored?) He talks about loyalty, and how some of those close to him haven't been loyal lately. (Are we talking Buff Bagwell here? Say, where is he this week? And why isn't he listed on the PPV card?) DDP says he trusts no one, then calls out Sid. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. SID VICIOUS Ref bump. The Outsiders, Benoit, Jarrett and Hart all run in. Referees try to establish order but can't. Nick Patrick goes over to the announce table and says they can make the main event a "Lumberjack Match"--that the refs have no control and are leaving. Schiavone says the referees have never walked out before. Didn't they walk out on Nitro once before, claiming "unsafe working conditions" or something like that? Of course there's also the time, just a few months ago, that the referees in the WWF "went on strike". - GOLDBERG vs. JEFF JARRETT Everyone is still in the ring when Goldberg comes out. Then Roddy Piper comes out, screaming "I'm a ref!" Jarrett tries to bail, but is blocked from escaping by several Green Bay Packers who suddenly (and very randomly) appear on the stage. Then Dustin Rhodes runs out and drags Jarrett back to the ring. This is a mess. Piper gets everyone out of the ring so the match can start. Things settle down, and have the semblance of a normal match for a few minutes, but eventually people start to interfere. Hart winds up nailing Jarrett with his World Title belt. Spear. Jackhammer. Pin. - This Thursday: the "new" Thunder. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Wha-hey, a show I didn't totally hate. It wasn't good, but it was better than last week. Some okay matches this week, and longer ones for the most part. Some of the "funny" bits worked too. Still, way too much crap involving the Maestro, David Flair, the Mob Guys, Liz & Luger, etc. Seemed like a little less crap than other recent weeks, though. WCW is dangerously close to turning off fans with their main events I think. They're a mess, throwing out all the major stars in disorganized, chaotic situations, all in a desperate effort to pull viewers away from RAW. Hart, Benoit, Nash, Hall, Goldberg, Sid, Jarrett, Rhodes, Piper--you name 'em, they're mixed up in all of this, and have been for the past few shows. It looks a lot like the shows we got this past summer, where all the top guys were mixed together, with no real issues between any of them standing out. The WWF had that problem too, doing too many Triple Threat matches, or the "Six Pack Challenge" from SummerSlam. Mix all these wrestlers together too often and the fans, while they may be interested in the wrestlers, don't get as interested in the matches. And with Hall & Nash spending all their mic time trying to get themselves over as babyfaces, that makes--by default--Jeff Jarrett the top heel in the company. Jarrett's good, but I don't think you can put the company on his shoulders and hope he'll take them past the WWF, much less catch up to them. I'm not going to go into a full-bore Russo rant this week, but I'll say this. These comedy angles they're doing lower on the card, what's the point of them? A Maestro/Flair match? We KNOW that's going to suck. Or with the mobsters, what are the fans supposed to think when they get into a match and suddenly know how to wrestle? I don't think anyone is thinking these angles out (or the ones involving Chavo Guerrero, Buzzkill, Juventud Guerrera and others). It's as if Vince & Ed are sitting there, bouncing ideas off one another, and one of them says "wouldn't it be funny if--" and that's as far as they take it. They don't think things out to their logical conclusion, nor take into the account the reaction of the fans. These two storylines are building to matches which mean nothing to the fans. If Maestro beats Flair, big deal--Flair can't wrestle. But if Flair wins, it's a victory over a third-stringer from Thunder. Same deal with Disco & Lash versus the Mob Guys. The Mob Guys have no credibility in the ring as wrestlers. But if they win, they totally destroy what little credibility Disco & Lash have. The emotional draw of these matches are minimal, and with the odds of them being good matches being slim, the fans are stuck in the age-old position of rooting for the "good guys" for no other reason than that--they're the "good guys". I know Russo & Ferrara have the belief that just putting these guys on TV will get them over (or, in their view, give them the opportunity to get themselves over). I don't agree with that. These guys have to have something to work with, and Russo's giving them storylines doomed to go nowhere. The storylines are probably working against their ability to get over. Some might ask "well, you complain a lot, but what would YOU do to push the Maestro and Mob Guys?" Me? NOTHING. I wouldn't have these guys on TV. Nor would I use David Flair, Jerry Flynn, Brian Knobbs, Prince Iaukea, the Misfits, Berlyn, or any of several others WCW is using on TV right now. So that's what I wouldn't do. What I would do, hell, none of you want to hear my booking ideas. Starrcade is a week from this Sunday, yet you would barely know it watching this show. Here's the card, according to the WCW website: * Bret Hart vs. Goldberg. World Heavyweight Title Match. No DQ. * Scott Hall vs. Chris Benoit. U.S. Title "Ladder Match". * Kevin Nash vs. Sid Vicious. "Master of the Powerbomb Match". * Creative Control & Hennig vs. Harlem Heat & Midnight. Tag Title Match. * Evan Karagias vs. Madusa. Cruiserweight Title Match. * Jeff Jarrett vs. Dustin Rhodes. "Bunkhouse Brawl". * Screamin' Norman Smiley vs. Meng. Hardcore Title Match. * David Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page. "Crowbar on a Pole Match". * Big Vito & Johnny "the Bull" vs. Disco Inferno & Lash LeRoux. * Dr. Death Steve Williams vs. Vampiro. 5 min. w/ Oklahoma if Vamp wins. Where's the hype for that main event? The rest, we're seeing all these people on TV, so there's a build in that sense, but I don't think there's many of these matches people are dying to see. I also don't think there's more that two matches that have any real prospect of being all that good. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Worcester, Massachusetts. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. TOO COOL (w/ Rikishi Phatu) Phatu? Ooookaaaay. Billy Gunn makes fun of Phatu's phat ass. A few minutes of decent action come to a halt when the Hollys run in. Too Cool and Phatu are left laying. Stephanie McMahon arrives at the arena. - (#1 Bestselling Author) Mankind is out to address the situation involving himself, Al Snow and the Rock. They play a clip of what happened on SmackDown! Snow comes out and is immediately hostile to Mankind and the fans. Snow says the fans don't care about Mick, that they'll only remember him for Hell in the Cell and not his book. They won't be there for him when he's old and crippled--and neither will the Rock. (My God, they're doing the Cactus Jack/Tommy Dreamer angle, with Mankind playing Dreamer, and Snow playing Cactus!) Mick says Al's his good friend, maybe his best, but that only goes so far. Snow talks more about the punishment Mankind has taken in his career. Mankind points out that when they went to Vegas, or when he was in Rock & Sock, he didn't get hurt. Mick says, to be honest, when you look at the Rock & Sock Connection, they were a good team. Mankind & Snow, they sucked. Snow then sticks a dagger in Mick's heart by revealing it was *he* who threw Mankind's book in the trash, to get back at him for all those jokes he made about him in it. "It's a piece of garbage, and I threw it in the trash!" HEEL TURN! The two come to blows. Somewhere in all this Snow threw out a challenge to Mankind and the Rock. Snow will find himself a partner in the back. - Stephanie once again asks Vince to let her handle Triple H. - THE HARDY BOYZ (w/ Terri Runnels) vs. KURT ANGLE/STEVE BLACKMAN Angle works the crowd with his "real athlete" schtick, then introduces Blackman. Blackman, after doing his glow-stick routine, is halfway to the ring when his entrance video on the Titan-Tron is interrupted by something. Some kind of orange and black spiky symbol. The hype for Taz begins. Angle gets the pin after Blackman nails one of the Hardys with his club. Stephanie takes a dramatic pause outside D-X's dressing room door. Oh, but I hope she waits until *after* the commercial before going in! - Stephanie has annulment paper's she'd like Triple H to sign. X-Pac makes a crack about her joining them in the show. "Hey," says Triple H, "that's my wife, man!" (Oh my God, more rape angles!) Triple H takes the papers and says he'll think about it. - VAL VENIS vs. D-LO BROWN The winner becomes #1 contender for the European Title, and gets the shot against the British Bulldog at Armageddon. Speak of the devil, the Bulldog and Mean Street Posse run in and attack both men. The Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young cut a promo for the Billboard Music Awards show, which they will be attending. There's the Rock & Mankind. - Triple H and D-X huddle. - THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. PRINCE ALBERT I've known what a "Prince Albert" is for some time, but actually seeing a movie this past weekend in which a guy talks about getting one makes me wish he'd get a new gimmick. Or go away. Nice Ho's this week. The Godfather gets the win with the Ho Train. A bit long for the squash it was. There's Triple H, and the papers, and some flowers. Ross thanks the fans for the record-setting ratings last week? Huh? I know they were good, but ... WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Triple H hits the ring. He tells the crowd he thinks of them the same way they think of him ("asshole!"). He talks about Stephanie getting booed and being called a "slut" last week on SmackDown! (Censors mistime bleeping this, as well as each subsequent time Triple H says it.) He says she's no slut because Triple H would never marry one. He talks about her getting drunk and passing out and not remembering her wedding. Shedding fake (worked?) tears, he says they're just "two kids in love", but that the taunts of the fans have forced her to seek an annulment. He says if that's what she wants, he'll sign the papers, and asks her to come out. Stephanie makes her way to the ring. Triple H looks her over, then says he's maybe rethinking this annulment business. After all, how can he kick Vince McMahon's ass if she won't be there at ringside to watch? "I'm tired of your games, you insincere son-of-a-bitch!" says Stephanie. (No bleep?) She hopes that Vince cripples him at the PPV. Triple H says fine, he'll sign the papers, and if Vince beats him at the PPV, she gets them. If he brats Vince, though, he gets another shot at the WWF Championship (something Vince won't give him otherwise). Out comes Vince to make it official, but he can't get closer than 50 feet. Vince says he'll beat him from Heaven to Hell. Triple H suggests they seal the deal ... with a kiss--and plants one on Stephanie! More rape! (Okay, that's getting old.) Vince smoulders. - Backstage, Patterson & Brisco are trying to calm Vince down. Mankind enters and offers any help he can give, what with the match at the PPV being "No Hold Barred" and all. - RIKISHI PHATU (w/ Too Cool) vs. HARDCORE HOLLY (w/ Crash Holly) Splat. Pin. Dance. They need some new steps, methinks. B.B. Bush is backstage oiling her melons. Another Moolah and Mae promo. Finishing this up late Wednesday, I got a chance to see these two on the awards show. Talk about an embarrassment to the WWF! First off, show co-host Kathy Griffin botches their intro, calling them "Mae WONG and Moolah". They then come out with Lou Bega ("Mambo No. 5 'A Little Bit Of ...'"). Lou introduces his "new girlfriends", but calls Mae "Moolah" and Moolah "Mae"! Mae barks out something about the nominees for the next award. Moolah accuses her of stealing her line, and down the two go, grappling on the stage. After they show the nominees, Mae slips and falls down while trying to get up. ("A little bit of Moolah on the floor, a little bit of Mae Young--she's hardcore!") The segment ends with show co-host Adam Corolla making a crack about menopause being a bitch. What a wasted opportunity for the WWF. - Michael Cole is out to interview B.B. Bush. Before she can talk, out comes Ivory to lay the verbal smackdown. Ivory belittles B.B.'s brain and breast size. Here comes Jacqueline (with the same orange & black interruption on the Titan-Tron). Looks like the "Evening Gown Match" at the PPV is going to be a four-way, but who's the last competitor? Cue Chyna's music, to a huge pop. It's not Chyna, though, it's Miss Kitty. "But I don't wear underwear!" protests Kitty. "You're just going to have to win" replies Chyna. So we'll see three women get stripped to bra & panties, not just one. I think they just guaranteed themselves a buyrate over 1.0. It's a pier-six brawl backstage, as Viscera puts the Big Show through a table backstage. But they have a match later tonight! - TEST/KANE (w/ Tori) vs. TRIPLE H/X-PAC Test and Kane dominate for much of the match. Triple H is leveled by a clothesline off the top from Kane. Test then goes for the big elbow, but X-Pac knocks him off. Torrie comes in, only to be manhandled by X-Pac. He sets up the Bronco Buster, but is caught mid-air by the throat by Kane, and is tossed halfway across the ring! Test and Triple H wind up alone in the ring. Jockeying for position, Triple H puts him away clean with the Pedigree. Pretty good match! Replay of the beatdown the Big Show suffered backstage. - Snow comes out of his mystery partner's dressing room, whoever it is. I'm betting on Head. - THE BIG SHOW vs. VISCERA Holy crap ... DROP-KICK OFF THE TOP! Big Show gets the pin. His attention is then directed to the Titan-Tron, where we see the Big Bossman talking to (what we assume is) the Big Show's mother. The Bossman says he's used his law enforcement connections to dig up a secret about his parents. He threatens to tell the Show if she doesn't. She begs him to let her tell him. Turns out the Big Show was an illegitimate child, or a "nasty bastard" as the Bossman puts it. The Bossman then points out the camera which has been surreptitiously filming them, and she breaks down. You know, the parentage of babyface wrestlers has been questioned by heels for ages, but this is the first time I can remember one actually obtaining "proof" of such. Can't say I liked this, but I suppose it's better than the Bossman coming out and hitting the Big Show in the head with his nightstick again. - Geez, they're replaying it ... ENOUGH already. The Big Show is backstage on the phone, asking his momma "why the lie? Why the lie for 27 years?!" - THE ROCK & SOCK CONNECTION vs. AL SNOW/??? Monster pop for the Rock. So who is Snow's partner? It's Y2J! Jericho's in the main event! Jericho tells Snow it's a pleasure for him (Snow) to have him as his partner. As he's ragging on the Rock and Mankind, Chyna comes out to shut him up. Back-and-forth to start. The momentum constantly changes. Mankind does a nice spot where Snow is bringing a chair towards the ring, and Mankind knocks it into Snow's head with a baseball slide. Mankind takes a beating for a few minutes. Jericho misses a springboard moonsault. Hot tag to the Rock. DDT by the Rock. Snow breaks up the sure pin. Mankind in with a double-arm DDT on Snow. He pulls out Mr. Socko. Rock Bottom on the ramp. The Outlaws then come out and stomp on the Rock. Mankind, meanwhile, has the Mandible Claw sunk in. The Outlaws take him out too. Snow backs up the ramp, jawing with the Rock, as the show comes to a disappointing end. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Here's the card for Armageddon, per the WWF website: * Triple H vs. Vince McMahon. "No Holds Barred". * The Big Show vs. the Big Bossman. WWF Championship Match. * Chris Jericho vs. Chyna. Intercontinental Title Match. * The Rock & Sock Connection vs. the New Age Outlaws. Tag Title Match. * The Bulldog vs. Val Venis vs. D-Lo Brown. European Title Match. * Miss Kitty vs. Jacqueline vs. B.B. vs. Ivory. "Four Corners Evening Gown Match". * Rikishi Phatu & Viscera vs. the Hollys. "Super Heavyweight Match". * X-Pac vs. Kane. * Kurt Angle vs. Steve Blackman. * Tag Team Battle Royal. They did build up the bigger matches on the show this week, but there's a couple of those undercard matches which got barely any mention at all. Not a terrible looking card on paper, though none of the matches stand out as being anything better than you'd see on TV. All the best wrestling action will probably come in the Tag Team Battle Royal, which got no hype at all. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: With next week being a post-PPV show for the WWF (and said PPV probably not having a tremendous amount of buys), look for RAW to get a noticeable bump in the ratings, just as WCW did a few weeks ago the night after Mayhem. WCW will no doubt load Nitro to compete, but RAW shouldn't be taking things lying down. With the Undertaker and Ken Shamrock both very close to returning, and the build for Taz's debut now underway, the WWF's got some serious ammo on their side as they build to the Royal Rumble. WCW's hands may be tied somewhat by having to focus on Starrcade next week, a PPV they haven't done too much to hype yet. These next few weeks could be crucial in the ratings. "Monday Night Football" has only a few games left, and the other networks are close to a cycle where they show a lot of reruns (until the sweeps period in February). The last few years we've seen wrestling viewership slowly build at the beginning of the year. If WCW's going to make a serious run at unseating the WWF, this is the best time for them to do it. The WWF, meanwhile, has to play things smart, so as not to turn off fans by themselves, giving WCW an opening to come at them. The WWF will set the agenda next week as they begin the march to the Royal Rumble. WCW then has the stage set for them the week after, following Starrcade, to put in place their storylines for the new year. After that, we'll then have a few weeks where things might be in a bit of a lull, with the holidays probably having an affect on TV viewership. What the two companies do these next two weeks will lay the foundation for the Monday Night Wars in January, and probably the first four or six months of 2000. There are already rumors that if Starrcade doesn't go well for WCW, Russo & Ferrara may be ordered to bring Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair back, to see how they do in the ratings. A lot of the stuff they're trying now, good or bad, may be dumped in favor of trying things that worked in the past. It's being said there's a lot of uncertainty in WCW right now. With Thunder getting an overhaul and changing nights, Nitro probably being cut back to two hours, and the company seriously looking at what talent is drawing and what talent isn't, the lockerroom is said to be very nervous. Few feel their "spot" is guaranteed. Many are saying the buzz over Russo & Ferrara coming in has worn off. I myself don't blame them entirely. There was just too much work to do to bring WCW back from the brink, especially if they were hoping to see results so soon. A slight bump in the ratings may have looked nice, but that's not the only thing being looked at. Mayhem did a miserable buyrate--lower than that of Halloween Havoc the month before. Thunder's rating is just as bad as when Eric Bischoff was still around and Kevin Nash was booking. WCW Saturday Night is doing worse than ever. Live event attendance continues to dwindle. They may have "stopped the bleeding", as some are fond of saying, but they haven't done too much to keep the patient from dying anyway. The real "Powers That Be" have seen WCW do better, and they have ideas as to how good it should be doing now. We can only guess what their timetable for improvement is. Looking back we know it wasn't too long between the time that Eric Bischoff was given an ultimatum to turn the company around and his eventually being let go. I don't think Russo's job is in jeopardy, but his ability to do that job may be, if the company steps in and makes changes, ties his hands and forces things upon him. We already know he has Standards & Practices putting limits on his, and Bill Busch holding the company's purse strings. Perhaps what most spooked WCW was the fact that with all the losses they've suffered in recent months, and all the adversity against them, the WWF still hasn't crumbled. A collapse by the WWF sure would have helped WCW, but so far that collapse hasn't happened yet. They've even lost Steve Austin, for God's sake, yet they keep chugging along. Probably no surprise that the rumors of WCW wrestlers trying to get out of their contracts and go to the WWF continue to build. This week Ric Flair was added to the list of those supposedly seeking an early release. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 212 of the "Monday Night Recap", December 6th, 1999.