Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #189 June 28th, 1999 The Opening Word: I enjoyed most of the king of the Ring PPV, but felt let down by the shortness of most of the matches, the early ending of the show, and the booking in the three main events. I guess we judge most things by two different criteria: based on what we *wanted* to happen, and based on what *actually* happened. On both of those counts, the WWF let me down to varying degrees. (Some might argue that separating the two as such is impossible, as what we want to happen colors our perception of what actually happened, but I digress.) First, there was the Undertaker's victory over the Rock. I had no problem with that outcome. What disappointed me was the manner in which the match ended. A good, long match suddenly found itself derailed when 1) Paul Bearer handed the Undertaker an ether-soaked rag, and 2) Triple H gave the Rock a Pedigree. Either or both should have been enough to put the Rock away, but he rallied back, giving the fans a spark of hope that he could win the match. Then, literally a second later, the Undertaker hit a Tombstone Piledriver, and it was all over. They got our hopes up for nothing. Maybe it was just a matter of timing, but the reaction to the finale of the match was something like "no ... NO ... YES ... no!" They dangled hope in front of our eyes, only to whisk it away a moment later. In the end it just came off as an ego booster for the Rock, since it took an ether-soaked rag, a Pedigree, and a Tombstone to put him away. It marred what was otherwise a good match. Next there was Billy Gunn becoming the King of the Ring. Once again I have no problem with that result, I just didn't like the execution. Going into the tournament it looked like everyone but Bob Holly had a realistic chance to win. A lot of people picked the "Big Show" to win, which showed how little attention they've paid to the way the WWF does things. (Who says he would win just because he was "prominently featured" in the KotR ads?) Chyna seemed to be getting a huge push in recent weeks, which made her a strong contender to win. Gunn, Road Dogg, Kane and X-Pac all had received roughly equal pushes going into the tournament. Shamrock was a possibility, since he was the biggest "star" going in, but he had also won it last year, making it a longshot for him to repeat. Holly, the lowest on the star power ladder, was the biggest longshot. With the whole playing field practically level, the tournament itself would have to tell the tale and establish who should be the King of the Ring. That's where Gunn winning it all failed. He wound up winning it in a breeze, going up against an injured Ken Shamrock in the first round, having the "Big Show" help him beat Kane in the second, and going up against another injured competitor, X-Pac, in the final match. In short, Gunn didn't prove anything. The fans had to watch all the more popular and higher pushed stars fall short. If Gunn ascends to that next level (which I don't think will happen), we can look back at this night as where it started. All in all, though, I'd rather have seen X-Pac, Kane, "Big Show" or Road Dogg--the more popular choices--get the win. It would have made the event more fun. That, or at least have Gunn EARN his various wins. His winning it was a downer: one by design, but a downer nonetheless. That brings us to the main event. With the fans being disappointed in the two previous matches, it only made sense that the WWF would make up for it with a positive ending. Alas, it wasn't to be. Once again I wasn't opposed to the McMahons regaining control of the WWF, but given the flow of things at the event in which it took place, it made it hard to watch. The match itself was good, though. Added up, it made for a relatively uneventful PPV with a ton of little things that were good, and a few major things that weren't. Speaking for myself, the two canceled each other out, leaving me feeling neutral and indifferent about the show, and thinking that perhaps my money would have been best spent otherwise. You can check out the Slobberknocker website for my other assorted thoughts on the PPV. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours. Location: Chicago, Illinois. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Last Week" highlights package. - Ric Flair, David Flair, and that guy who owns the United Center pull up to the arena. David has his hair cut and dyed just like his father Ric. Standing at the foot of the famous Michael Jordan statue, Flair says David will get a shot at Kevin Nash's World Title tonight. "Uncle" Bruce MacArthur says he'll put up a statue of David next to Jordan's. - Nitro Girls. - They show a clip of Steven Regal's WCW return, which took place last week on Thunder. - STEVEN REGAL/FIT FINLAY (w/ David Taylor) vs. CHRIS BENOIT/SATURN A solid match. Nice to see Regal not only looking good in the ring, but also drawing some nice heat from the crowd. The chaotic finale sees all four men in the ring. Saturn plants Regal with the Death Valley Driver for the win. - DJ Ran. - Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, Arn Anderson, Charles "Little Naitch" Robinson and Asya are all celebrating Flair's master plan to crown David the new WCW Champ. They are interrupted by Van Hammer, who says his recent winning streak entitles him to some kind of title match. Flair says he can face Steiner (Rick?) at the Bash at the Beach PPV. The fact that VAN HAMMER is getting pushed to a PPV titleshot tells loads about what is wrong with WCW right now. - Flair and his crew come out to be interviewed by "Mean" Gene Okerlund. Flair quickly passes the mic off to Piper, who launches into his usual repertoire of local name-dropping and outdated pop culture references. (He also mentions Howard Stern, which I won't read anything into, since this is Chicago, meaning it's Mancow country. Badmouthing Stern should, in theory, serve as another suck-up to the locals. In theory.) Touching upon the so-called "Y2K Kids" feud, Piper says they are giving David Flair a shot at Kevin Nash's title. Flair adds that Charles Robinson will be the ref, and that they'll surround the ring with "lumberjacks". They call out Randy Savage, Sid, and their gaggle of blondes. Flair extends an offer to Savage: if he joins with them, Flair will make Savage's off-the-top elbowdrop legal again. Robinson protests, as it was Savage who crushed his lung with an ill-executed elbowdrop. Flair, Arn and Okerlund brush him off. Savage says he doesn't care who wins the title, and asks Sid for his opinion. The deal is made: Team Madness will be the lumberjacks around the ring. As "Mean" Gene is winding up the segment, sharp-eyed fans may notice Sid and Arn Anderson shaking hands in the background. That ought to get people talking! Lenny Lane, while applying purple fingernail polish in the lockerroom, worries about WCW's reaction to his and Lodi's relationship. Lodi tells him not to worry, and favors him with on of his patented neckrubs. ... No comment. - EDDIE GUERRERO vs. LODI (w/ Lenny Lane) Squash. Eddie hits both Lodi and Lane with the Frog Splash, and covers Lodi for the pin. So the message here is, what, that being gay makes you a jobber? It's not hard to make that connection when it's all WCW has given us. - A Flair/Piper bull session results in Diamond Dallas Page, Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow being added to the main event lumberjacks. Torrie Wilson has joined the Flair party. I hope when WCW starts firing people to bring their budget back down (if the rumors are to be believed), I hope they axe Asya. Why do they need her when they have Torrie? DJ Ran and the Nitro Girls. Speaking of getting the axe ... HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Nitro Girls. - Last week on Thunder, Ric Flair outlawed "hardcore/extreme" matches. Hak, coming to the ring with Chastity, challenges WCW President Flair to come out. Bam Bam Bigelow comes out instead. - HAK (w/ Chastity) vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW The match is all Bigelow, until Hak rallies back and hits a move (I'll admit, not much is happening in this one, and I have a hard time paying much attention). Kanyon and DDP run in, with DDP delivering a Diamond Cutter behind the ref's back. Bigelow covers for the pin. This was pretty much your typical WWF match, with several extra minutes of wrestling added to pad the length. - Kevin Nash comes out and says what's basically going down is that it's him versus everyone in WCW. He says the only guy he can trust is Scott Hall (increasing tenfold the odds that Hall will wind up being the mystery Hummer driver). Nash throws out a challenge to David Flair: if he (Nash) wins tonight, he gets Torrie Wilson for 72 hours. Hmmm, 72 hours. Why, that would take us to Thunder this Thursday, right? Doesn't this stipulation pretty much give away the fact that Nash will prevail later tonight? - "I HATE RAP!" TOUR 1999 vs. NWO B-TEAM For those who simply must know, Curt Hennig, Barry & Kendall Windham, and Bobby Duncum, Jr. comprise the "I Hate Rap!" team. Brian Adams, Horace, Stevie Ray and Vincent comprise the NWO B-Team. This turns out to be a far better match than it had any right to be. The cowboys look good when on offense, but the crowd could care less. I mean really, who wants to see this match? Duncum and Kendall plant someone with a double bulldog, and the cowboys win. They'll go on to face Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Jr. and two of the No Limit Soldiers at the PPV. (Need I remind you that this means BRAD ARMSTRONG will appear in a PPV match? More evidence of what is wrong with WCW.) - Disco Inferno and Ernest Miller compete in a "Dance Contest", with a fan response serving to choose the winner. Miller, while berating the crowd, mentions Jerry Flynn's name for no apparent reason. Disco wins, of course, sort of, leading to ... - DISCO INFERNO vs. ERNEST "THE CAT" MILLER (w/ Sony Onoo) The crowd chants "Goldberg!" out of sheer boredom. Miller works his ass off playing up to the crowd, but they could care less. Disco launches into a series moves/attempted pins "borrowed" from any number of Steve Austin matches. The finish sees Miller use his ruby red slipper to knock out Disco, but his pin attempt is thwarted when Onoo runs into the ring, fleeing from Jerry Flynn. Flynn KO's Miller with a kick, ending the match. He then challenges Miller to a "Kickboxing Match" next week. I'm betting most of the crowd had no idea who Flynn was. On his way out, Flynn tells the camera "that's how you deal with that motherf***er," which is muted. He then delivers the priceless grimace of a man who has suddenly realized his ass might get fired for such a blunder. - They replay the Ric/David/Bruce spazz-out that opened the show. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - DJ Ran. - Arn Anderson hits the announce desk to reveal that he'll be the referee in the main event (instead of Charles Robinson). Arn brings up that unflattering parody Nash did of him a few years ago. - BUFF BAGWELL/DEAN MALENKO vs. DDP/KANYON (w/ Bam Bam Bigelow) Some nice wrestling here, but the match didn't have to last 20 minutes given the finish. Bigelow interferes after a ref bump, helping DDP deliver a Diamond Cutter on Malenko. Kanyon covers for the pin. - They debut the "I Hate Rap!" video. Hennig lip synchs in front of a crowd of eight or ten people. Remember how the Konnan videos, no matter how much they sucked, had a real professional look to them? This, by comparison, was just pathetic. - DJ Ran. - SID VICIOUS (w/ Team Madness) vs. SCOTT PUTSKI Squash, which they stretch out an extra ten minutes with entrances, stalling, and post-match comments by Sid and Savage. The crowd chants for Goldberg again during the match. - Nitro Girls. - Nash makes his way to the ring. David Flair makes his way to the ring. Ummm ... was I NOT supposed to notice Sting standing there? - DAVID FLAIR vs. KEVIN NASH Before Nash and David can even lock up, everyone else runs into the ring. (Chalk up the third Nitro main event in a row which has turned out to be a total joke.) After they beat on Nash a bit, they clear out so David can apply the Figure Four. Arn, the special referee, makes a two count, at which point Nash recovers, sits up, and easily breaks the hold. Everyone looks on as Nash delivers unopposed offense. (David's idea of "selling", by the way, looks like an imitation of a drunken frat house member trying not to fall asleep on his feet.) The gang attack resumes, though this time Nash is able to fend them off. David comes in with a stun gun, which Nash takes away, and uses to zap anyone that comes near him. Leaving the ring, Nash hoists Gorgeous George onto his shoulder. Torrie Wilson also joins him, almost knocking others down in her enthusiasm to leave with Nash. The trio make their way to the parking area, where a black limo awaits. As Nash prepares to leave, he spots a black Hummer parked a short distance away. Now, when Nash sees the Hummer, there's nobody else near it. However, they somehow switch to a camera angle from right next to the Hummer! (There could be a cameraman hiding behind a nearby concrete pillar getting the shot, but it still looks pretty funny to get a closeup from a spot where there clearly is no cameraman a second earlier.) The closeup angle reveals a reflection in the driver's side mirror: the face of the man they call Sting! Nash, seeing Savage and Sid approach, climbs into his limo. Savage kicks the limo as it pulls away. Sid can be seen carrying the WCW Heavyweight Title belt. The show ended just before the top of the hour again, about five or six minutes earlier than usual. I think that makes three weeks straight. Looks like the five minute overrun may finally have been abandoned. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Miller vs. Flynn. Comments: So, exactly where the hell has Tank Abbott disappeared to? I didn't just imagine him being in WCW, did I? The usual response to the show this week. A handful of talented wrestlers delivered some quality matches, but overall the show was weighed down with the usual turdburger angles and dungheap wrestlers being pushed. When will someone have the balls to stand up to Eric Bischoff and tell him that his buddy Ernest Miller is a steaming pile if shizit? And whoever it is that thinks Van Hammer deserves a push ought to be shot. Is Flair and his son David WCW's answer to Vince and Shane McMahon? Kind of seems like it. But while WWF fans would be quite amused by a Steve Austin/Shane McMahon match, seeing Kevin Nash take on David Flair is a total joke. There's plenty of reasons why, not the least of which being the fact that David has very little charisma, draws ZERO heat, has few wrestling skills, no mic skills, no in-ring presence, and in general is a non-entity to the average WCW fan. He's not a proven weekly player. He isn't someone the fans have developed any interest in, or at least "love to hate". Save for the fact that he's Ric Flair's son, he's a total nobody. He's so wooden that he's as much a prop as the average steel chair. Hell, the stun gun he brought into the ring played a bigger role in this week's show than he did! I think back to that classic Ric Flair quote about how he could wrestle a broom and people would still watch. Well, if David wrestled a broom, we wouldn't be able to tell which was which. Aside from the aforementioned decent wrestling, there were a few other bright spots this week. Eric Bischoff stayed away again. Master P, too, decided not to grace us with his appearance. (I'm not sure why Konnan and Mysterio got the week off, though.) WCW seems to be shooting themselves in the foot by keeping Sting off TV. And I suppose with Sting absent, there's not much need for Lex Luger. Whatever happened to Elizabeth? Anyone else annoyed by the fact that Rick and Scott Steiner hold two of WCW's singles titles, yet neither are anywhere to be seen (and have been pretty scarce for the last several weeks)? Given the rarity of Cruiserweight Title matches lately, that makes three titles in WCW that for all practical purposes might as well not even exist. This whole business with Sting being the Hummer driver is pretty lame. For starters, they've already done an angle with a fake Sting a few years back. How likely is it, really, that now that we've seen it's "Sting", that it's REALLY Sting? What's the point of having a mystery if you blatantly give that mystery away? So, assuming it's a fake Sting, we'll have to sit through a rehash of the last fake Sting angle, where the announcers wonder why Sting did it, Sting saying it wasn't him, etc. Hopefully if they go that route, they'll actually bring up the last fake Sting angle, and incorporate it into the storyline. And of course, if it really *is* Sting, then you're going with a storyline that will deliberately anger fans. The payoff to this is either confirming that Sting is the Hummer driver, or confirming that he isn't. Only one of those had a chance of being a surprise, and WCW totally blew that this week. The only thing that can save this now is if the real Hummer driver turns out to be a genuine surprise. The problem with that is WCW has already dragged it out so long, most fans have been able to come up with any number of possible candidates, allowing fewer and fewer fans to feel (or admit) that they were surprised. Anyone already in WCW will be a letdown, unless it was someone really wacky or unexpected, such as Mike Tenay or Goldberg. Bret Hart or Hulk Hogan might work, though Hogan is already a common candidate being tossed about. Shane Douglas would be interesting, but not enough WCW fans know him to make it mean that much. Lex Luger is probably the frontrunner. As I mentioned above, Nash mentioning Scott Hall vaulted his name towards the top of the candidate list. Much like the WWF's "Greater Power" angle, this one has got a lot of people talking, but it also has a lot of people ready to be disappointed. Should I read anything into Sid being in possession of Nash's title belt at the end of the show? Funny little postscript to Master P's appearance on Nitro last week: one of his bodyguards was arrested at the New Orleans airport when they tried to get a pair of custom made .45 caliber handguns onto an airplane. The guns, one of which had a laser sight and was loaded with hollowpoint bullets, were in an aluminum case that the bodyguard forgot to check through the standard customs desk. He instead just ran it through the x-ray machine, setting off alarms. The guy was detained by police while everyone else flew off to Minneapolis. He was later released, and issued a fine for illegal handgun posession. The guns were confiscated. I'm sure there's a good joke in there somewhere, but I'll let you all make up your own. Master P's also being sued by a rival rap label for $10 million. Hoody Hoo! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: . Length: Two Hours+. Location: Charlotte, North Carolina. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - PPV stills open the show. - Vince and Shane McMahon lead the Corporate Ministry to the ring, as balloons drop from the ceiling. Vince says tonight is a celebration, one the fans will never forget. Shane takes the mic, and announces that "Stone Cold" is officially fired from the position of CEO of the World Wrestling Federation. Vince tales the mic back. Austin will now drop to the bottom of the ladder. He will have to compete tonight in a preliminary match. Additionally, he will have to help take down the ring tonight after the show is over. He goes on to gloat about the Undertaker's victory over the Rock, and notes that the Corporate Ministry is now more solid than ever. As a sign of that, Triple H will get a titleshot against the Undertaker at the next PPV, Fully Loaded. Here comes the Big Bossman. Vince tells the Ministry members to hang back, and tells the Bossman that neither he nor Shane will back down. The Bossman enters the ring, says "I love you guys," and embraces McMahon. The Corporate Ministry is once again whole. Well ... that was pointless. Enter the Rattlesnake. Austin says he figured he'd get screwed over at the PPV, so while he was still CEO of the WWF, he went ahead and drafted a new contract for himself. In it, Austin would be paid a whole ton of money. It also strikes down that previous stipulation which said that Austin couldn't strike McMahon unless provoked. Austin brags about being able to jump Vince anytime he wants, and all McMahon could do about it is pick his teeth up off the ground. Furthermore, Austin booked himself into a World Title match against the Undertaker, to take place on RAW tonight! And if any "sumbitch from the back" gets within ten feet of the ring, the Undertaker will be DQ'ed, and Austin gets the title. Man, I sure feel sick about buying that PPV now. Steve Blackman. Ken Shamrock. "Weapons Match" is next! - "LETHAL WEAPON" STEVE BLACKMAN vs. KEN SHAMROCK Jim Ross says Shamrock is competing against doctor's advice, stemming from the internal injuries he suffered at the hands of Blackman at the PPV. Shamrock gets on the stick and warns Vince McMahon that no matter who he sends at him, he will someday get his hands on him. Blackman comes out with a bag full of martial arts weapons. He's jumped by Shamrock before he can reach the ring. Shamrock gets in the early offense, but Blackman turns the tide and delivers a solid beating, utilizing a pair of nunchuks, batons, and a kendo stick. Shamrock spits up blood. Blackman then ceases the assault, packs up his gear, and walks out. Ross calls Blackman a hired assassin on McMahon's payroll. - Once again Shamrock refuses medical attention. Blackman is shown calmly exiting the arena. - Michael Cole interviews "Mr. Ass". Gunn says little of note, other than to throw out an open challenge to anyone in the back. Triple H and Chyna come out. Helmsley says he has nothing against Gunn, and in fact has a grievance he wants to share with him. It seems X-Pac and Road Dogg have been claiming all the royalties and profits from the "D-Generation X" merchandise. Triple H suggests the reclaim the D-Generation X name, and offers to lend him Chyna to help collect the bill. Gunn agrees. Chyna's wearing that bikini/leather chaps combo again which gets my motor running. The Rock then does an ill-advised run-in, with only the timely arrival of WWF officials preventing him from having the smackdown laid upon him by Triple H and Gunn. Cole gets comments from Chaz and Marianna, formerly known as "Beaver Cleavage" and "Mrs. Cleavage". Chaz runs down all the gimmicks of his which have tanked, and says he's ready to try getting over as himself. Austin's in his dressing room lacing 'em up. - This week's "GTV" clip shows Stephanie McMahon and Test exiting a Charlotte hotel together. - MEAT (w/ PMS) vs. CHAZ (w/ Marianna) For those who must know, I believe Chaz's last name is Warington. All the women at ringside wind up involved one way or the other, and Chaz uses the distraction to plant Meat with a variation of the Death Valley Driver. Terry Taylor (who Ross disses by calling "Red Rooster") tries to get comments from Test. Shane and the Mean Streets Posse plow into him, stomping him into little itty bitty pieces (figuratively speaking). - The Undertaker is in the back practicing his "evil" look. - "HARDCORE" HOLLY vs. KANE Before the match Holly takes a jab at Paul Wight for missing him with that car he tried to drop on him last week. This match lasts about a minute, with Wight coming out and chokeslamming Kane as Holly distracts the ref. Holly gets the upset pin. As he celebrates, though, Kane sits up and grabs him by the throat. Chokeslam. Another chokeslam. Yet another chokeslam. And one more for good measure. The refs help (what's left of) Holly escape. The Rock is next. Not much wrestling this hour. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - THE ROCK vs. TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna) The WWF usually gives us a somewhat longer match at this point of the show. Not this week. Just a few minutes in, Billy Gunn runs out and whallops the Rock with a wooden club. - Michael Cole is backstage to update us on the Rock's condition. He's distracted by a commotion off-camera. Pan over to Prince Albert and Droz beating the crap out of Val Venis. - THE GODFATHER (w/ Several Ho's) vs. EDGE So-so Ho's this week. Damn, but if this isn't one of the hottest live crowds for either wrestling show this year. The trend of pseudo-matches continues as Prince Albert and Droz come out mere seconds after the opening bell. The ref is distracted, allowing Albert to press-slam the Godfather. (Godfather came to Val Venis' aid before the PPV on Heat, marking him as an enemy to this duo.) Edge, a bit loogy from prior action, doesn't see the interference, hits the Godfather with a spear, and covers for the pin. The Ho's then come in to help the Godfather, leading to Albert and Droz grabbing one and trying to pierce her tongue. Edge comes back in to save her. Suitably impressed, she cozies up to him real nice. (Who says there aren't any positive, moral messages in wrestling anymore? Save a Ho from getting her tongue pieced, and she'll polish your spear for you!) As they're leaving a psychic cameraman manages to pick out Gangrel watching things from up in the nosebleed section. Ross says he looks upset. I'll take his word for it. Billy Gunn is in the lockerroom telling someone we can't see to only come out if he needs them. - "MR. ASS" vs. BRADSHAW (w/ Faarooq) Gunn stole Bradshaw's Tag Title belt last week, so on Heat this week, Bradshaw challenged him to a match on RAW. Like every other match on RAW thus far, this one blows by, with X-Pac coming in to distract Gunn, leaving him open for the Clothesline From Hell, by Bradshaw. The Acolyte wins, and I guess he recovers his title belt. Chyna the runs in to beat on X-Pac. Road Dogg follows to pound on Chyna. The evil D-X faction retreats, while the good D-X faction fires of crotch chops in their general direction. - Michael Cole is backstage, hoping to get a word from Mr. McMahon. - Ivory, accompanied by Nicole Bass, makes her way to the ring. There she cuts loose on the mic, delivering a damn fine promo on how she's a real Women's Champion, and not a "Barbie doll lipstick loser". To prove her might, she challenges anyone to come out and tangle. Some woman hops the rail and climbs the apron, only to be stopped by that beefy WWF Security Guy (Jim Dotson). Ivory says to let her come in. "It's all fake anyway honey, don't you know?" The "fan" thinks better of it, saying she never thought she'd get this far. She tries to leave, but Ivory lays into her. CATFIGHT! THIS IS THE GREATEST RAW EVER! Nicole Bass throws in her two cents by powerbombing the newcomer. The Security Guy finally separates the two. That was wild. All the news sites are saying the mystery girl was female wrestle Malia Hosaka. If she's around to stay, the WWF Women's Division just got a whole hell of a lot more interesting. McMahon tells Cole that he's not worried about Austin, since they took the heart out of "Stone Cold". Debra and Jarrett are up next. - JEFF JARRETT (w/Debra) vs. X-PAC Lawler is given a "Show Me Your Puppies" t-shirt be Debra before the match. Billy Gunn comes out to interfere, but a guitar shot meant for X-Pac misses. X-Pac gets the guitar and gives Jarrett some Guitar Fu. He looks to have the Intercontinental Title won, but Gunn slips back in (Debra has the ref distracted) and drops X-Pac with the FameAsser. Jarrett comes to and just barely manages to cover for the pin. Road Dogg and Chyna both come out to keep things chaotic. Undertaker, Paul Bearer, Steve Austin--all on the move. - THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN Though he's the champ, the Undertaker comes out first. Jim Ross says ANY Corporate Ministry interference will result in DQ, which doesn't exactly jibe with what Austin said earlier (and will become noteworthy later). Austin is so OVER it's scary. Traded fists start off the encounter. The two take turns working each other over in the corner. Into the ropes they go, with Austin hitting a Lou Thesz Press. An elbow to the head follows. Two count. Stomps. Into the corner they go. Reverse whip. Kick to the gut. Austin tries a Stunner, but gets shoved into the corner. The Taker drops to the floor to catch his breath. Austin follows, leaping off the apron with a double axehandle. Blows are traded. The Undertaker eats the steel steps. Back in the ring they go. Both try, and fail, to connect with a back bodydrop. Clothesline by the Undertaker. Cheap shot by Paul Bearer. The Undertaker works on Austin's throat. Austin is clotheslined over the top rope to the floor below. The two brawl in the aisle. Bearer tries a cheap shot, and takes a fist to the back. By this point Austin should have won by DQ, but I guess since Bearer is the Undertaker's manager, he has a right to be at ringside. (And of course the referee is Earl Hebner, who lets just about anything go in the title matches he officiates.) Back in the ring they go. The Undertaker goes on an offensive streak, pounding on, grinding and wearing Austin down. Two count. Austin tries a comeback with a bodyslam, but the Undertaker falls on top of him. Another two count. Headlock by the Undertaker. Austin breaks the hold, but eats an elbow coming off the ropes. Bodyslam. Undertaker grabs a wrist and walks the ropes. Chop to the back of the neck. Cover for two. Chinlock applied. Austin powers up, then drops down, ramming the Undertaker's chin into the top of his head. Austin drags the Undertaker into the corner, intent on crotching him on the corner post. The Undertaker kicks, sending Austin over the barrier and into the crowd. The Undertaker brings him back to the ring. Punch. Two count. Chinlock applied. Austin pounds his way loose. Into the ropes they go. Austin ducks a clothesline. Double clothesline--both men down. Back up, they move to the corner. Austin lays in the boots. Into the ropes they go. Undertaker with a scoopslam--no, Austin escapes! Kick! Stone Cold Stunner! Cover ... one ... two ... thr--the referee is pulled out! Paul Bearer pulled the referee out! Austin follows, dropping him with a punch. The Undertaker meets Austin coming in, but Austin drops down, yanking the Undertaker's neck into the top rope. Undertaker staggers, but connects with a blow to the neck. Austin drops. Whip to the ropes. Austin ducks the clothesline. Minor collision (possible flub?) Kick by Austin. Stunner! Cover ... one ... two ... THREE! NEW WWF CHAMPION!!! The crowd explodes. Austin calls for a cold beer. The Undertaker, meanwhile, has scooped up the WWF Title belt, and nails Austin in the head. Austin is busted open! The Undertaker lays into him, pounding on Austin's forehead and drawing more blood. Several referees come in, but they are unable to stop the carnage, as the show fades off the air. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: ... and all is right in the WWF. However, we're right back where we were about three months ago, and the King of the Ring PPV comes off looking even more pointless than it already was. The best stuff happened the following night on free TV! Vince controls the WWF again, but Austin is also the champion again. Seems like we've been there, done that. The main storyline in the WWF has become one large Moebius strip! It would appear that the "mystery" of who raised and lowered the briefcase at the PPV is really a non-mystery. They didn't announce who did it because who did it was unimportant. The point was that the McMahons arranged for it to be done, thus outsmarting Austin. Of course Austin had the last laugh, as he had already booked himself into a title match, etc. The whole matter of who owns the WWF seems to be settled as well. Presumably Vince and Shane each reclaimed their 25% portions (or 50%, if the McMahon women in fact signed over their control to Austin. I know Austin was CEO, but did he own any stock, or just have their stock backing him?) Or Maybe Vince owns it all now? In any case, I don't think we're supposed to worry about it. The "Who Owns The WWF" angle has played out. I don't think they'll come back to it unless and until they do a split between Vince and Shane. All the teases leading up that *that* seems to have disappeared ... for the time being. After RAW ended, the Home Shopping network did a live two hour show selling WWF merchandise. West coast viewers unfortunate enough to tune in had the finish to RAW ruined for them, as the live HSN show was on before the tape delayed RAW feed started. As is customary for these shows, they cut to the arena to get a few interviews. The most notable was one with Vince McMahon. Austin was still out in the arena celebrating (you could hear his music and the roar of the crowd). McMahon was dejected, having once again been outmaneuvered by Austin. They also got comments from the Rock, D-Lo Brown, Shane & his Posse, and a really funny bit with triple H and Chyna pretending that the microphone wasn't working right. Perhaps funnier than that was the way the HSN host, unwilling (or unable) to call Bully Gunn "Mr. Ass", instead kept calling him "Mr. Posterior". Whether you're interested in the merchandise or not, if you get a chance to watch when they do one of these, you should check it out. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Here's how Bash at the Beach is shaping up: * Nash/Sting vs. Savage/Sid. * Van Hammer vs. Rick Steiner. TV Title Match. * Benoit/Saturn vs. DDP/BBB/Kanyon. World Tag Team Title Match. * Hennig/Duncum/Windham (x2) vs. Konnan/Mysterio. No Limit Soldiers. I wouldn't call this the worst PPV line-up ever, but it's damn close. It's even worse when you look at a list of WCW wrestlers currently active who could fill other matches: Ernest Miller, Disco Inferno, Jerry Flynn, the NWO B-Team, Steven Regal, Fit Finlay, Eddie Guerrero, Hak, Brian Knobbs, Lodi, Lenny Lane, Buff Bagwell and Roddy Piper. I'm guessing that Bagwell will end up facing Piper. A couple good matches could be salvaged using some of the above talent, but the lack of storylines between said wrestlers doesn't exactly help matters. Instead we're looking at matches such as Miller vs. Disco, Miller vs. Flynn, or perhaps even a Triangle Match between the three. Obviously more matches will come about in the next few weeks, but I'm not holding much hope for them. There's really only three ongoing storylines in WCW: Nash versus Team Madness (and the Hummer driver mystery), Flair & Piper versus the "Y2K Kids", and the Country/Rap war. These three storylines, however, are tying up more than a dozen wrestlers. Everyone else in WCW occupy themselves with little angles which, if they're lucky, last two consecutive weeks. If the rumors are to be believed, WCW is hoping to breath a little life back into things next week with the return of both Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart. Shane Douglas, if he signs with WCW, may make his debut there as well. (One also can't rule out the returns of Raven, Goldberg, Chris Jericho and Scott Hall, though I don't believe there are any specific rumors about them going around.) They're in the Georgia Dome next week, and RAW is vulnerable (seeing as it will be a taped show), so WCW wants to really load things up. If WCW can't close some of the gap with this show, there's not much of anything they can do to fight the WWF this summer. If they can renew fan interest, though, they may be able to compete with the WWF through the summer. What WCW has to be looking to on the distant horizon is the week this fall when RAW is preempted by the USA Network's coverage of the U.S. Open. If WCW can close the ratings gap by then, the preemption may allow WCW to beat the WWF the week they come back. (In past years WCW has always seen a ratings increase then, just like RAW gets a ratings bump when Nitro is preempted by the NBA Playoffs in the spring. Both shows have needed a few weeks to get their usual audience back--if they're lucky.) Some see next Monday as a make-or-break show for WCW. If they put on the biggest show they're capable of, yet fail to make much of a dent in RAW's ratings, then WCW's realistically looking at months, maybe years, before they can return to beating the WWF in the ratings. RAW is already closing in on the halfway mark of that 80+ week winning streak Nitro amassed a few years ago. In a perfect world the ratings wouldn't mean much in regards to what we see Monday nights. Unfortunately, it's all about ratings these days. WCW brought in Sid to boost ratings. They brought in Master P to boost ratings. They hope bringing in Dennis Rodman this summer will, boost ratings. WCW may have some great wrestlers, and put on the occasional great match, but they have yet to figure out a way to use that to their advantage in the ratings war. The WWF doesn't put on too many great matches, but they focus on being entertaining enough that it doesn't matter. Some argue that a few years from now, it's WCW and their "quality wrestling" that will be drawing in the fans, while the WWF's "shock value" approach will become passe. There is some merit to that argument, but only if one assumes the WWF won't change to meet consumer demands. Seeing as how the WWF's #1 credo seems to be "give the fans what they want", it's a bit silly to think they'll ride this "WWF Attitude" approach all the way down in flames. Their success now is assuring them the money and mainstream recognition which will be very attractive to wrestlers for years to come. WCW's "quality wrestling" won't do them much good if many of those "quality wrestlers" decide to jump ship to the WWF. The only real dark cloud on the WWF's future are all these lawsuits, which has the potential to force talent to move the opposite direction, to WCW. If the WWF can weather the storm of the Hart and Sable lawsuits, and avoid any further blow-ups after that, then it may be clear sailing for them for years to come. Looking back a few years ago, WCW was faced with a somewhat similar situation. Fortunately for them, the WWF was in almost as bad a shape as they were. Their solution then? Bring in as many ex-WWF stars as they could (namely Hulk Hogan). It'll be pretty sad if WCW, lacking any other options, spends a few years just limping along, desperately waiting for that day they can sign Steve Austin, the Undertaker, or the Rock. Creativity, and using the right talent, are the keys to WCW turning things around. That's what the WWF did. With that, good ratings will come. Without it, WCW can bring back Hogan, Hart, the Ultimate Warrior--anyone they want, and it won't matter much. Keep that in mind when Hulk Hogan and his ego return next week to wrest control of WCW away from Kevin Nash. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 189 of the "Monday Night Recap", June 28th, 1999.