Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #177
April 5th, 1999

The Opening Word:

I hope those of you who saw the April Fools joke on the website last week 
got a good laugh out of it. Yes, my rumblings about "changes" in the last 
two Recaps were part of the joke. It's still there if you missed it and 
would like to take a look at it.

The only wrestling-related thing to catch my eye and ear over the last week 
was the Vince/Stephanie McMahon interview on Sunday Night Heat. They 
finally revealed that the envelope McMahon got from the Undertaker 
contained photos of Stephanie both out in public and in the privacy of her 
bedroom. It seems the Undertaker has been stalking her, sending her letters 
and pictures, the content of which McMahon refused to indulge. The teddy 
bear that the Undertaker burned belonged to Stephanie. Vince claims the 
Undertaker (who he referred to by his real name "Mark") has become wrapped 
up in the character the WWF created for him, and he and his followers have 
started to believe in his "Creature from the Darkside" image. Vince said if 
this doesn't stop, somebody's going to get hurt.

Speaking of getting hurt, you want to know what real pain is? Try being in 
bed with the flu, watching TV, and having the batteries in your remote die 
just as you hit the USA Network running "Suburban Commando" for the 
millionth time--and you're too sick to get up and change the channel 
manually! Now THAT'S pain!!!

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WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours+.
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada.
HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

 - This week's show starts with a video clip of Sting, baseball bat in
   hand, walking in the rain. Unless I'm mistaken this was taken from the
   video they did for Starrcade '97.

   Tonight WCW debuts their new corporate logo, and graphics for Nitro.
   They've decided that a new look may respark interest amongst the fans.

   The first thing we see is the new logo, which is easily the worst part
   of their whole makeover. It's comprised of a six-pointed star, squashed
   nearly flat, with the two "W's" squeezed into each two-pointed side. The
   "C" in the middle has been stretched out to fill the top and bottom
   points. If you squint real hard it looks like "WCW". If you don't, it
   looks more like "MNLL", or some other random assortment of shapes. The
   top half of the "C", which is stretched to the point of breaking in its
   middle, looks just like the Starfleet logo from "Star Trek". The first
   shot of the logo includes the words "World Championship Wrestling", but
   in usage throughout the show the words are removed. Seen from a
   distance, or on the network "bug" on the corner of the TV screen during
   the show, you can't even tell that it's anything other than a
   six-pointed star shape. Five minutes into the show I was already sick of
   looking at it. Unlike the new WWF logo, meant to convey their new
   "attitude", this just looks like somebody wanted to design a new logo,
   without it actually standing for anything. A huge disappointment.

   The new intro for Nitro isn't much better. An explosion erupts on a
   computer generated landscape which is occupied by the Nitro Girls (who
   also look computer generated when we first see them). The new theme
   music then kicks in, which sounds like a drum beat and the whine of a
   buzzsaw. The Nitro Girls dance (just barely in synch!), and wrestlers
   are seen projected inside the WCW logo (similar to the Thunder intro).
   The WCW letters then fill the logo (still looking very little like
   "WCW"), the "Monday Nitro" and TNT logos plop in from nowhere, there's
   an explosion, and that's it. Not bad, but it does look like something
   that was made for a video game, then rejected.

   Any excitement generated by this is dissipated by watching a few moments
   of Goldberg walking down a hallway. He's carrying the drum Flair used a
   few weeks ago to draw the name of a random opponent.

   Into the arena now. The old entryway has been replaced with a huge metal
   representation of the new WCW logo. Again it's hard to actually make out
   the letters "WCW", and with the bottom half of the logo actually laid
   into the ramp which leads to the aisle, it's now a five pointed star,
   with what looks like an "M", the Starfleet insignia, and a random jumble
   of shapes. It's an impressive structure, just not a very good WCW logo.
   Lining the bottom of the logo is a line of TV monitors, which looks
   nice. In other changes, the new logo adorns the canvas in the ring, the
   referees have striped shirts with the new logo, and the announcers have
   been moved to ringside (although we barely see them tonight). Mike Tenay
   has been relegated to Thunder duty with Larry Zbyszko, while Schiavone
   and Heenan will be solely in charge of calling the action on Nitro. I'm
   not sure if this is an improvement or not. The new Nitro logo is just a
   big pointy thing, and added to the WCW and TNT logos, looks like a giant
   crab sitting in the corner of the screen.

   Goldberg makes his way to the ring with the number hopper. Once there he
   says he's had enough of the *mute*-job he's received (I think he said
   "snowjob", but I'm betting the censors though he said something else).
   He says he's going to start drawing names at random, and they will be
   "NEXT!" Kevin Nash then comes out, reminds Goldberg that he's the one
   who ended his streak, and that he'll be "NEXT!" at the Spring Stampede
   PPV this Sunday. (THIS Sunday?! Jeez, that one sure snuck up on us.)
   Thus the match is made, making me wonder why they went to all the bother
   of having Goldberg lug that drum all around in the first place. Damn, I
   was actually looking forward to seeing him draw somebody's name! Oh
   yeah ... "Mean" Gene Okerlund was out to conduct Goldberg's interview,
   for those who keep track of such things.

   Ric Flair is in his office, throwing a fit over something he's seen on a
   monitor. (Even though the office is well appointed, with a special
   "President of World Championship Wrestling" seal on the wall, Flair is
   still forced to watch tonight's show on one of those tiny little TV
   monitors.) Arn Anderson is on the phone with someone. Flair makes him
   hang up and tells him to go take care of whatever it is he's seeing that
   has him worked up. I'd assume it was the Goldberg/Nash thing, though he
   keeps pointing at the monitor, which should be showing a picture of he
   and Arn at this point. Whatever.

 - Nitro Girls. Even though WCW has updated everything else, the Girls
   still dance to the SAME DAMN MUSIC they've danced to for the past two
   years.

 - Riki Rachtman is out to plug the WCW Hotline. Shit, I thought we were
   done seeing that guy. Apparently WCW hired him full-time. Son-of-a--

 - KENDELL WINDHAM vs. HAK (w/ Chastity)
   Hak's new theme music is one of those generic themes WCW has been using
   for the last eight or nine years. Chastity has the Britney Spears look
   tonight, which doesn't work because while Britney is somewhat
   attractive, Chastity isn't (I'd lump her in with Luna: nice body--face
   which scares children). This is a "Kendo Stick Match" ... for some
   reason. Some fans chant "boring!" ten seconds into the "match". Tony
   Schiavone spends much of the match talking about Sting, who is supposed
   to appear tonight, and speak to the fans. Hak wins with a Side Russian
   Legsweep. Heenan admits that he thinks Chastity is really hot.

 - Despite all logic, reason and sanity, we take a special look at Meng.

 - Goldberg tracks down President Flair's office, where he's shocked to
   find the Man in conference with Lex Luger and Elizabeth. Rather than
   ponder this ugly situation, lets cut to another COMMERCIAL.

 - Arn Anderson has tracked down Kevin Nash. Something seems messed up
   here, since Arn left to (presumably) find Nash following the first Flair
   segment. Then he's seen in the room when Goldberg burst in. Now he's out
   looking for Nash again. I'm assuming they taped all these before the
   show (nothing wrong with that, by the way), but they perhaps aired them
   out of order? That, or they just messed up by having Arn in the room.
   Anyway, Arn tells Nash that Flair would like to see him.

 - Video package details Disco Inferno messing with Konnan's music video,
   and their upcoming match at the PPV.

 - KONNAN vs. LIZMARK, JR.
   Konnan with the Tequila Sunrise. Notable during this match is a decidedly
   non-"G"-rated gesture Konan makes to Lizmark in the corner, inviting him
   to suck on his private parts.

 - Flair starts to chew out Arn for not producing Nash--who then walks in
   the door behind Arn. After the commercial we see Flair and Nash walking
   through the office area, trading quips like old buddies. Who should we
   then see but "Hollywood" Hogan, who confronts Nash after he and Flair
   have parted company. Hogan wants to know if they're still tight. Nash
   assures him they are. As Nash walks away Hogan mutters to the camera
   that they better be. We'll need time to mull this over, so let's take
   another COMMERCIAL.

 - Now Nash is setting on some steps, jawing with a WCW employee, who runs
   away when he notices Hogan coming down the stairs. Hogan wants to know
   what's up, why isn't Nash answering his phone calls, etc. Nash cowers
   mockingly and asks if Hogan will beat him up like he did in Atlanta?
   Hogan says that was his swerve, and he was just following Nash's lead.
   Hogan again asks if the two are on the same page. Nash says they are,
   but makes a funny face after Hogan has left. Not too subtle here is the
   groundwork being laid for Nash to align himself with Flair and turn on
   Hogan.

 - "Mean" Gene interviews Ric Flair. Schiavone makes the assinine
   observation that people have started to boo Flair because now he's in a
   position of authority. No Tony, they're booing him because he's ABUSING
   his authority--what with WCW turning him heel and all. Of course this is
   all part of Schiavone's new "attitude", since he's basically turned heel
   along with Flair.

   Flair badmouths Goldberg, and praises Nash. Saying Nash inspired him, he
   announces that he's pulled his match against Hogan from the PPV, and the
   two will square off tonight instead. Hogan comes out and promises to
   kick Flair's butt. Diamond Dallas Page then comes out, drawing far less
   reaction than either Flair or Hogan, and says if there's going to be a
   match, he'll be a part of it. Rounding all this out Goldberg arrives,
   saying he wants in the dance as well. A cut to the back shows Arn
   Anderson watching on a monitor and shaking his head. Flair says no to
   Goldberg, so the big man shoves him down, changing Flair's mind. The
   Four Way Dance is on. Since RAW is about to start they stretch this way
   out, and forego the usual commercial to go to ...

HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

 - ... Scott Steiner making his way to the ring. The usual smut-laden promo
   follows, which this week focuses on his nearly forgotten feud with DDP.
   Steiner says DDP will have to live up to that "30 day clause" he backed
   out of and give him Kimberly for one night, if he wants another shot at
   the Big Booty Daddy. Of course this all has no impact on this weekend's
   PPV, showing how messed up the booking in WCW is.

 - SCOTT STEINER vs. MENG
   So is Meng really getting a push, or are they just trying to raise his
   stock enough to justify matches such as this? Not a bad match, but let's
   face it: you couldn't PAY me to watch a Meng match. Steiner gets the pin
   with his feet on the ropes (Meng's as well-both of which the referee
   misses). I guess Meng not having to submit to the Steiner recliner means
   his "push" is still alive. This being a U.S. Title Tournament match,
   Steiner now advances to the final match at the PPV.

 - Nitro Girls. That was pretty hot, so we better go to a COMMERCIAL.

 - Schiavone talks about Sting showing up tonight. Panning the rafters they
   come across a dark figure, which is quickly revealed to be a WCW crew
   member wearing Sting's coat. Whew ... that was close! Better cut to a
   COMMERCIAL. I'm serious. They've had three commercial breaks now within
   ten minutes.

 - Ric Flair FINALLY notices the cameraman that's been following him all
   night and tells him to leave. Only after threat of losing his job does
   he comply.

 - Schiavone hypes WCW's Internet radio show, mentioning Bob Ryder in the
   progress. Those who didn't know better now have proof that Ryder is on
   WCW's payroll. Heh.

 - A very special video look at "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Oh please god, don't
   tell me ...

 - "HACKSAW" JIM DUGGAN vs. LENNY LANE
   Upfront disclaimer: I'm pleased to see that Duggan was able to recover
   from his kidney removal operation, and is healthy enough to return to
   the ring. Disclaimer over: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
   Duggan, who is dedicating his return to the fight against cancer, leads
   the crowd in a "U-S-A!" chant. Duggan punches, kicks and "hi-yo's" his
   way to victory. (The funny thing is, as bad as Duggan is, he still knows
   more moves than "Hollywood" Hogan!)

 - Video package from Thunder showing Hogan telling the NWO Black & White
   members that he told each of them that they were in charge so that one
   of them would naturally ascend to that position. That having failed,
   they will now just resort to a battle royal--the winner of which assumes
   control of the NWO.

 - BRIAN ADAMS vs. STEVIE RAY vs. HORACE vs. VINCENT
   Face facts WCW: the New World Order is dead. The NWO Black & White only
   has four members (Scott Norton seems to have vanished), the NWO Red &
   Black is really just the Wolfpac, and that only has Kevin Nash right now
   (with Lex Luger injured, Scott Hall off reconciling his marriage, and
   Hogan about to be dumped). What are these guys fighting for? Control of
   a four man team comprised of members who all hate each other? The fans
   haven't shown any interest in all this, so why continue to drag it out?
   Worse yet it hurts the angle WCW is trying to do with Hogan, because
   they're trying to turn him face, yet these guys are all heels. Having
   the two associate just makes it harder to turn Hogan.

   Vincent is the first to go when he misses a clothesline and tries to
   throw himself over the top rope. Unable to get enough momentum, though,
   he fails. Adams then gives him a kick, allowing Vincent a second chance
   to throw himself over. Yes, it was that obvious. Adams is next. knocked
   out by Stevie Ray. Horace then charges at Stevie, Stevie ducks, and
   Horace throws himself out. Stevie Ray is now in charge of the NWO. The
   crowd made a lot of noise during the match, so maybe I was wrong about
   the fans not caring about any of this.

   DDP is in the back warming up for his match. This is WCW's version of
   Steve Austin being shown putting on his knee brace on RAW.

 - Clips from last week's show.

 - Nitro Girls. I think I left out a Nitro Girl appearance above, as well
   as a Riki Rachtman WCW hotline plug. Oh well.

HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

 - RAVEN/SATURN vs. KIDMAN/REY MYSTERIO, JR.
   I know this is supposed to be a good match, but I didn't particularly
   think so. Right from the opening bell Kidman is selling everything like
   he's dead. One move and he's unconscious, allowing Saturn to hit him
   with stuff off the top. Then it's like a switch is thrown, and suddenly
   Kidman is all afire, with Saturn and Raven just stumbling around, taking
   his punishment. A commercial break interrupts what has been, up to that
   point, nothing but a spotfest. Things slow down a bit when they return,
   and the action becomes a bit more believable. Saturn does an awesome
   move where he belly-to-belly suplexes Kidman over the top rope to the
   floor. Mysterio does the Bronco Buster, which really pisses me off for
   some reason. The ref ends up getting bumped, and Saturn catches Mysterio
   in the Death Valley Driver (following a springboard off the top rope).
   Saturn covers for the sure pin, and has the Tag Team Titles wrapped up,
   but there's no ref to count. Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit then run out,
   lay out Saturn, and roll Mysterio on for the cover. Kidman revives the
   ref and the Tag Champs retain their belts. Why can't Mysterio sell a
   move or blow for more than five seconds, (something I've been asking for
   three years now)? As messy and unbelievable as most of this match was,
   though, it was still a better match than most of what the WWF could put
   on. I know we're supposed to boo the Horsemen, but with Rey and Kidman
   being the more popular faces, and Raven and Saturn generally being the
   heels, the fans cheer Malenko and Benoit in their efforts. More
   unfocused WCW booking at work. I do like where all this is going,
   though. They just need to have Benoit and Malenko break away from Flair,
   and stop calling them Horsemen.

 - CHRIS JERICHO vs. BOOKER T.
   Booker is over, but not *that* over, if you know what I mean; while
   Jericho could be over big-time, but WCW continues to do whatever it is
   they're doing with him. I don't know if he's staying, leaving for the
   WWF in a few months ... whatever. Anyway, I thought this match might
   rock, but instead the two just sort of go through the motions until the
   finish, which sees Scott Steiner come out with a steel chair. He tries
   to hit Booker, but Booker ducks and knocks Steiner to the floor. Jericho
   then charges Booker, but he winds up over the top rope, landing on
   Steiner down on the floor. The ref throws the match out and declares
   Booker the winner. Steiner apparently would rather have faced Chris
   Jericho for the U.S. Title. He'll now face Booker T. at the PPV instead.

 - BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. BUFF BAGWELL
   After a few minutes of little more than punches and kicks, Hak and
   Chastity make a run-in. Chastity sprays a fire extinguisher in Bigelow's
   face. Bagwell then hits the Buff Blockbuster for the pin. Somehow the
   referee manages to miss the huge cloud of extinguisher vapor hanging
   about the ring.

 - Nitro Girls.

 - Goldberg/Nash PPV promo. Was it necessary to feature the Giant and
   Public Enemy being destroyed by these two? Great job by the production
   team to get this put together, what with the match only being made about
   90 minutes earlier. This video was so awesome it requires another
   COMMERCIAL to allow us to catch our breaths.

 - Michael Buffer is out to do the ring introductions, and manages to get
   all the names right. This "Four Way Dance" will be fought under "Texas
   Tornado" rules, meaning all four men will be in the ring at the same
   time. Who ever gets the pin wins the match, and wins the World 
   Title--even if it's someone other than Flair who gets pinned. Champion
   Flair comes out first, which should piss off all those WCW fans who
   complain when the WWF has their Champion come out first for a match.
   It must be noted that, based on crowd reaction, DDP is clearly out of
   place matched with these other three. Kevin Nash joins the announcers
   for color commentary and, without anything prepared in advance, is
   unable to come up with anything cool to say during the match.

 - RIC FLAIR vs. "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. GOLDBERG
   Hogan, the crowd suck-up that he is, "Hulks up" and has Flair on the run
   just a few minutes into the match. Goldberg and DDP, meanwhile battle
   down on the floor. DDP breaks up a pin attempt and the two pairs trade
   off. Things go on in that manner for some time, with DDP usually down on
   the floor, and Hogan usually in the ring. Flair does his usual bit where
   he goes up top an is caught by Hogan. One of the two screws up, though,
   as Flair lands almost squarely on his shoulder, instead of on his back.
   The match, which hasn't been too bad actually, comes to an end when
   Goldberg takes out all three with the Spear. He nails Hogan with the
   Jackhammer and covers for the pin, at which point Nash "runs" into the
   ring. He's so slow, though, that Hogan is actually forced to kick out of
   Goldberg's pin. Nash's arrival ends the match.

   Sting then drops down from the ceiling. Everyone runs away as he unhooks
   himself from his harness. Sting then points his baseball bat in a few
   random directions, then up to a large screen on the wall. A video plays
   as the "Macho Man" Randy Savage does the voiceover--the long and short
   of it being the main event at Spring Stampede will be the match we just
   saw, with Sting in Goldberg's place. And Savage will be the referee.

 - This Thursday: Nothing announced. Thunder airs on Wednesday this week.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

Someone explain to me how a guy who has been gone for months can put 
himself into a World Title match, and get it refereed by a man who has been 
gone for almost a whole year? There's no way President Ric Flair would or 
should ever sanction this match.

I suppose I should mention that Sting didn't speak, even though Schiavone 
promised throughout the show that he would. Savage didn't appear either. 
Instead a lame video was used to cover both.

Here's what's on tap for Spring Stampede:

 * Flair vs. Hogan vs. Sting vs. DDP. Four Way Dance for the WCW Title.
 * Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash.
 * Scott Steiner vs. Booker T. U.S. Title Tournament final match.
 * Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr. Cruiserweight Title match.
 * Konnan vs. Disco Inferno.
 * Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Hak.
 * Raven & Saturn vs. Dean Malenko & Chris Benoit.

I'm just guessing on that last match.

An interesting show this week. Somehow they featured shorter matches, and 
less filler material, yet still managed to kill the whole three hours. 
(they did end five minutes earlier than normal.) Must have been those extra 
commercial breaks they took. Overall I'd say the third hour this week was 
watchable. The rest, though ...

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WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Taped 3/30.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Long Island, New York.
WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler.

 - The show has a new disclaimer this week:

   "THIS SHOW MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN UNDER 14. PROGRAM MAY
   CONTAIN SOPHISTICATED THEMES, STRONG LANGUAGE, AND SEXUAL CONTENT."

   That should shut some people up. It won't, but it should.

 - Video package compiled from the Vince/Stephanie McMahon interview on
   Sunday Night Heat.

 - X-PAC/KANE vs. JEFF JARRETT/OWEN HART (w/ Debra McMichael)
   Holy crap ... a match! And hey, I finally figured out what the deal is
   with Jarrett's tights. I can't believe I didn't notice this before: the
   Aztec-looking arrows down the sides are really Jarrett's initials "JJ",
   with the second "J" backwards. DUH! The only reason I figured it out is
   because Owen now has similar tights, and his have "OH" on the sides
   (which makes a large "HO" on his butt). I feel like such a goof.

   X-Pac wrestles the majority of the match for his team, getting pretty
   well beat up at first, then rallying back and tagging in Kane. Kane
   cleans house, knocking Owen into the corner and planting Jarrett with a
   chokeslam. X-Pac gives Owen the Bronco Buster, then runs smack-dab into
   the hands of Kane. Kane looks like he's going to chokeslam X-Pac, but he
   instead hoists him up and drops him on Jarrett. 1 ... 2 ... 3--brand new
   TAGteamCHAMPIONSofthe--well, you get the picture. Huge crowd pop. Kane
   just stands there as X-Pac celebrates the win. I wonder if Hart and
   Jarrett will complain about Kane being the legal man when X-Pac got the
   pin?

   Shane McMahon asks tells Vince that it's showtime. Vince, sitting next
   to his daughter Stephanie, says he doesn't give a damn about Steve
   Austin or Paul Wight. He's only concerned about his daughter, and could
   care less about tonight's show. Several guards stand watch nearby.
   Shane meets up with the Corporation out in the hall and sets off for the
   ring.

 - Lucas Whatshisname from WWF.com interviews X-Pac, who says he has no
   idea where Kane is, but as long as he shows up for their matches,
   there's no one that can beat them.

 - Shane and the Corporation hit the ring. The announcers mention the
   European Title, which Shane "retired" on Sunday Night Heat. I'm not sure
   if that means he just "retired as champion" and the belt is now vacant,
   or if it means the title itself is also retired. Either way it should
   please those who couldn't stand Shane as a WWF titleholder. Shane,
   Triple H and the Rock all take turns taking potshots at Steve Austin and
   Paul Wight. Shane then has the Rock put on Austin's Smoking Skull Title
   belt, and has the production crew capture a still shot. The picture of
   the Rock wearing Austin's belt will be put up on the Titan-Tron whenever
   Shane demands it.

 - Shane checks on Vince to see what he thinks of his actions. McMahon, who
   hadn't paid much attention, reiterates that he doesn't care what Shane
   does tonight. Stephanie asks if it's wise to provoke Austin and Wight
   like that. Vince seconds that sentiment, and tells Shane to just "chill
   out". Shane looks hurt that his efforts haven't been appreciated.

 - Ivory comes out and calls out Terry Runnels. Terri comes out with
   Jacqueline, sends Jackie to the back, then slowly enters the ring. The
   two go at it, with Ivory tearing Terri's t-shirt off, very nearly making
   this THE GREATEST RAW EVER.

   Then the lights go out.

   The Undertaker leads the Ministry of Darkness to the ring. Once there
   the Undertaker warns McMahon that later tonight a young woman will be
   sacrificed. Backstage Vince assures his daughter that she'll be safe,
   and that perhaps he'll just give the Undertaker what he wants. (What
   does the Undertaker want, by the way? Figure that one out and you'll
   figure out who the "higher power" is that the Undertaker answers to.)

 - Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco have rounded up some additional security
   to guard McMahon and his daughter.

 - AL SNOW (w/ Head) vs. HARDCORE HOLLY
   I wonder if Hardcore Holly's character is a shot at ECW, proving that
   anyone can get over by being "hardcore". Anyway, this is a non-title,
   non-hardcore match. Early on the ref has to stop the two from using
   foreign objects. The two then settle down to wrestling and have a decent
   match, which Snow wins with the Snowplow. How ironic that Al Snow,
   unable to make it in the bigtime, embraced the "hardcore" style, yet
   couldn't win the Hardcore Title, is only able to beat the Hardcore
   Champion by actually WRESTLING. (I'd pat myself on the back for figuring
   that out, but after that Jeff Jarrett thing ... )

   "Dr. Death" Steve Williams then hits the ring and, under the direction
   of Jim Ross, destroys both Snow and Holly.

   Shane, in the production truck, orders the picture of the Rock with
   Austin's belt be put back up on the Titan-Tron.

 - The Ministry has Christian strung up in the back, and the Undertaker is
   laying into him with a lash, as punishment for his revealing to Ken
   Shamrock last week where Stephanie McMahon was hidden. Brother Edge
   doesn't look too happy about this. Since this was so intense, we'd
   better take another COMMERCIAL (*sheesh*).

 - THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE BROOD
   With the Outlaws once again reunited, Road Dogg and Badd Ass are able to
   do their usual schtick with few alterations. The copyright notice
   flashes as Gangrel and Edge make their way to the ring.

WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler.

   An okay match with a classic ending ("classic" as in "old", not
   "great"). Christian, fresh from his flogging backstage, staggers to
   ringside just as Gangrel is tossed to the floor. Road Dogg grabs him
   instead of Gangrel and tosses him into the ring. Billy Gunn covers. The
   ref, seeing blond hair and a white shirt, thinks it's Gangrel and makes
   the three count. My newly discovered powers of deductive reasoning lead
   me to believe that the Brood may well have been screwed here.

   Jim Ross gets some comments from Steve Austin backstage. Austin says if
   Shane keeps putting that picture of the Rock with his belt up on the
   Titan-Tron, it's going to cost the McMahon family a lot of money.

 - Clips of Ken Shamrock lending the McMahon family a helping hand last
   week.

 - KEN SHAMROCK vs. VISCERA
   It's all Shamrock for the few moments this match lasts. The Acolytes and
   Brood then run in, as the Undertaker and Paul Bearer watch from the
   stage. Shamrock is powerbombed by Bradshaw and splashed by Viscera. They
   then carry his body away through the crowd. In the back Shane is holding
   the Corporation back, suggesting this may be a trap. Shamrock is carried
   into the parking area and dumped into the trunk of a car, which is
   driven away by Bradshaw.

 - Paul Wight, in the back ... standing.

 - MANKIND vs. VAL VENIS
   Mankind gets the easy win in front of what is pretty much his hometown
   crowd, putting Val away with the Mandible Claw.

   During the above match Lawler and Cole discuss the pro-wrestling piece
   done by ESPN, and bring up the theory that since ESPN, ABC and "Monday
   Night Football" are all owned by the same people, perhaps ESPN is trying
   to make wrestling look bad so that "Monday Night Football's" ratings
   will improve this fall. Not sure what to think about that.

   McMahon gets a bit agitated as the lights begin to flicker.

 - The Ministry is planning strategy. Wherever they dumped Shamrock
   couldn't have been too far away, as Bradshaw is back with them.

 - GOLDUST (w/ the Blue Meanie) vs. THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's)
   Hempin' ain't easy? The Godfather starts to offer Goldust his Ho's for
   the evening, but decides to just kick his ass instead. Both men are
   counted out when, as the Godfather bounces off the ropes, the Meanie
   grabs him by the foot. He goes out after the Meanie, followed by
   Goldust, and the two are counted out. The Ho's chase after the Meanie,
   wielding the high heeled shoes as weapons.

   McMahon is talking on the phone as the lights again flicker, then go
   out. Stephanie screams and McMahon shouts her name.

 - Members of the Ministry lay a robed figure on the Undertaker's symbol.
   Cut to the back, where Vince and Stephanie, safe and sound, look on.
   The hood is removed and we see it's in fact Ryan Shamrock who's being
   tied up. The symbol is hoisted in front of the Titan-Tron. McMahon, in
   the back, walks to the camera and begins roaring "stay away from
   Stephanie. You evil bastard!"

 - Shane comes to the ring and introduces the Rock. The Rock then comes out
   to do his bit, but stops when he realizes the crowd is chanting "Rudy
   Poo candy ass" along with him. He tries again, and again stops when the
   crowd chants along. He tries to tell the crowd this isn't sing-along
   with the Champ, but they chant that along with him as well! Once more he
   tries to call out Paul Wight, and again the crowd chants along. Resigned
   to the inevitable, he invites them to finish his "if you smell what the
   Rock is cooking!" line. Great stuff.

 - THE ROCK/TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna) vs. PAUL WIGHT
   Wight is able to hold his own, until Chyna enters the fray and delivers
   a low blow. The ref calls the match as the two Corporation members
   deliver the beat-down, culminating in the Rock landing the Corporate
   Elbow.

   Steve Austin then runs in for the save. As the Corporation makes its
   escape (Triple H not quite able to get away, receiving a chokeslam from
   Wight), Shane has the picture of the Rock with Austin's belt put back up
   upon the Titan-Tron. Austin leads Wight up the ramp and instructs him to
   pull down the Titan-Tron. Wight grabs hold and, accompanied by loud
   machinery noises, pulls the Titan-Tron down to the stage! Austin, who
   walked behind the screen before it came down, cuts his way through,
   coming back out onto the stage with a long pole and a cooler of beer.
   He and Wight toss a few back, then Austin uses the pole, which has a
   hook or blade mounted on the end, to cut the Titan-Tron screen to
   ribbons!

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

A corny ending, sure, but it looked cool anyway.

A really fast-paced show this week. I know I breezed through a lot of 
stuff, but it still made for one of my shortest RAW Recaps in recent 
memory. Those matches that actually went any length actually seemed to be a 
bit longer than usual this week.

Umm ... no other compliments or complaints, so I'll wrap up there.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Bottom Line:

This week's Recap is dedicated to the fine folks at Vicks, whose NyQuil 
allowed me to finish this sucker.

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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by 
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those 
of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for 
info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.

Volume One, Number 177 of the "Monday Night Recap", April 5th, 1999.