Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #176 March 29th, 1999 The Opening Word: Another WrestleMania is in the books and I think the WWF delivered a strong effort. No five star matches, but that's not what the WWF is about anymore. (If you want that watch WCW--and sift through seven hours of crap to get to those thirty minutes or so of "good wrestling" each week). And yet while the PPV was a solid hit, the "WrestleMania Rage Party" which aired the night before was a major miss. A good idea in theory, it was executed in such a manner as to make it clear nobody had any idea what they should be doing. The low points: * The Big Punisher's uninspired musical "stylings". * Various WWF superstars milling around, looking completely lost. * Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco dressed as a horse. * Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco doing a fart joke. * Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco in drag. The high points: * Mick Foley's stand-up monologue. * Vince McMahon telling Kane to "lighten up. It's a party, damn it!" * Isaac Hayes and the perils of live TV. * The Cherry Popping Daddies didn't suck too much. Things started off well enough, but it became quickly apparent that the show served no real purpose. After Isaac "Chef" Hayes finished his performance (which no doubt caught the USA censors off guard), things went downhill quickly. They seemed to cut away to a commercial every five minutes. Big Pun started his incoherent rap number and the cameras instead showed Shane McMahon talking and dancing in the crowd. Speaking of the crowd, they reacted just as one would expect as the Cherry Popping Daddies delivered a number which was barely a hit almost a year ago ("Zoot Suit Riot"). And rather than see some kind of angle which would have an impact on WrestleMania, we were instead treated to an hour of Patterson and Brisco clips, as they tried to sneak their way into the party (Patterson having forgotten their tickets at home). Also annoying was the blatant plug for USA's new show "Happy Hour" hosted by the Zappa brothers. The clip of them coming in and asking Sable to be on their show was pretty stupid given that they'd already shown a promo for the show once or twice which featured Sable as a guest! I don't know if "Happy Hour" is supposed to be a talk show or game show or what, though I really don't care as I don't plan on watching it anyway. The final insult came as Steve Austin arrived, which we'd been waiting the whole hour and five minutes to see, and just after he launches into his speech the show ends. This was every bit as bad as WCW's recent "Snowbrawl" show on MTV--maybe worse, because it was twice as long. MTV wouldn't even show something that was a musically weak as this. It seemed more like something you'd see on ABC, hosted by the Olsen Twins or Carmen Electra. The music sucked, the "comedy" wasn't very funny, and wrestling fans were left feeling quite embarrassed. I hope they next time they do this, should they decide to do it again, they spring for some decent music, and they come up with something to keep the actual wrestling fans entertained. I like wrestling, and I enjoy the WWF's "sports entertainment", but this show was neither "sports" nor "entertainment". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Toronto, Canada. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - David Flair confides to Samantha that he's disgusted by his father Ric ducking "Hollywood" Hogan. - Tony Schiavone says Nitro starts in another hour. Whatever. - Clip of Bret Hart on last week's show. - Konnan's music video. This is so we can see it unspoiled by Disco Inferno. - KONNAN vs. VINCENT Stevie Ray comes out to argue with Vincent, who loses by way of the Tequila Sunrise. - Samantha tells Hogan that David idolizes him. She gets him to talk about Kevin Nash and Hogan says he beat him for the Title in one of the toughest matches of his career. Why is she stirring up trouble, and why is this supposedly babyface Hogan lying so blatantly? - Hogan comes out and challenges Ric Flair to a match tonight. - 60 seconds with Goldberg. - Schiavone says Sting may show up tonight. Wouldn't just coming right out and saying he'd be there assure you more viewers? - Pretaped interview with Diamond Dallas Page. Mike Tenay goes overboard playing a "hard hitting journalist", which DDP tries to look cool by making fun of. They plug a plot oversight everyone had long since stopped caring about by saying that Kimberly going to Scott Steiner for 30 days was never an official stipulation in DDP's last match against him. - WRATH vs. KAOS Great, so now Wrath is back to get pushed for another six or eight weeks. Wrath with the Meltdown, in a ten minute squash. - Samantha tells Nash that Hogan said he really beat him. Nash gets pissed. Since when did everyone in WCW stop being real people and become Really Bad Characters In A Really Bad Movie? This past hour was easily worse than either hour the WWF put on at the recent Toronto Skydome RAW. There was more wrestling, sure, but it's been pure crap wrestling thus far. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair. Flair draws heel heat by trashing Canada. (He says $100 would keep he and Okerlund at the local Marriott for a week.) Schiavone has to apologize for a barely audible "asshole!" chant. He then brings out DDP, which gets boos just by his association with Flair. DDP tries to turn it around by accusing Flair of being just like Eric Bischoff. Flair says he knows why DDP is there--he wants a match with Scott Steiner. DDP mentions Kimberly getting thrown out of a car and the crowd boos at him. Page turns on the crowd and calls them "jack-offs" (which is censored). Man, this is messed up. Flair makes DDP an offer: if he can beat Hogan tonight, he gets a match with Steiner. DDP asks if Flair is afraid of Hogan? (And the crowd cheers. Jesus, will somebody make up their mind here?!) Hogan comes out to the cheers of the crowd. Hogan says he wants his belt back. DDP says he'll face Hogan if it means getting to Steiner. The fans are cheering, booing, hell--they don't know what to do! Flair says he'll be DDP's manager tonight. DDP says he doesn't want him, nor the Canadian fans. Suddenly everyone notices Sting--in his Crow makeup--up in the rafters. - Opening credits and fireworks, even though the show has been on for more than an hour. The Nitro Girls do a number. - SCOTT NORTON vs. RIC STEINER Now that Norton ain't shit in Japan anymore, Steiner gets the win here with the bulldog off the top. Rey Mysterio talks Kidman into being his tag team partner tonight, in a match against Tag Champs Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit. Interesting. - CHRIS ADAMS vs. BOOKER T. Booker with the Missile Drop-kick. - Nitro Girls. - Clip from last week's Nitro. - JERRY FLYNN vs. CHRIS JERICHO Jericho trashes the Canadian crowd before the match. He scores the pin with his feet on the ropes (no big finisher for those WWF-bound). - "Mean" Gene plugs a contest WCW and N64 are running: the grand prize being a new Volkswagon Beetle. You know, if this was RAW, someone would wind up going through the windshield of that car. Just an observation. - Bret "Hitman" Hart comes out recites "Oh Canada", then complains about being misused. He talks some smack about Flair, Hogan and Goldberg. He belittles Goldberg's challenge to Steve Austin by saying he beat him every time the two faced. Goldberg comes out, accompanied by the fake "Goldberg!" chant. Goldberg goes for the Spear and knocks out Hart, as well himself. After several moments Hart comes to, covers Goldberg, pounds the mat three times, then reveals that he's wearing a metal plate under his jersey. Hart tells Bischoff and WCW "I quit!" and walks out. Good stuff, though why is it whenever Hart isn't whining, he's quitting? A replay of the preceding shows Bischoff coming out to question Hart. Damn, Eric sure has grey hair! HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Scott Steiner video. I hear Steiner couldn't get into Canada because of his recent legal problems. - BUFF BAGWELL vs. NORMAN SMILEY Bagwell with the Blockbuster. A pretty bad show thus far, which could only be saved by a four star match between Benoit, Malenko, Mysterio and Kidman, in which the Tag Team Titles changed hands. - CHRIS BENOIT/DEAN MALENKO vs. REY MYSTERIO/KIDMAN A four star match between Benoit, Malenko, Mysterio and Kidman, in which the Tag Team Titles changed hands. Raven and Saturn come out late in the match and Raven hits Malenko with a DDT, allowing Mysterio to get the pin. - Nitro Girls. Are any of these the one Shawn Michaels is engaged to? - "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (w/ Ric Flair) Little happens before they cut to a commercial. After the break, we see Hogan and DDP brawling up by the announcer's booth, which they have demolished. Heading to the entryway they take turns smashing each other into the set, actually succeeding in knocking over one of the large "WCW" displays. Back to the ring they continue to brawl. Flair involves himself by attacking Hogan, but DDP knocks him away. They take whipping each other with Hogan's weight belt. Flair comes in with a chair, intending to use it on Hogan, but accidentally knocks out DDP instead. Hogan knocks Flair to the floor. Somewhere in all this the ref has gotten knocked out and he's replaced by pro-Flair referee Charles Robinson. Hogan covers for the pin, but Robinson won't make the count. Hogan clobbers Robinson and covers DDP again, getting the win when the original referee recovers enough to make the count. The crowd, which counted along with the pin, pops big-time for Hogan. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Wild main event, capping off what was mostly a miserable show. Hour one was garbage, while hour two only had the Flair/DDP/Hogan and Hart/Goldberg bits going for it. The second half of hour three was pretty good because of the last two matches. Overall I'd say it was an okay show, but that's only judged on the 30 or so minutes of stuff I just mentioned. I don't know if the tag match was four stars or not--you all know I don't do star ratings--but it was pretty good nonetheless. Even better is the scenario it sets up between Mysterio and Kidman, as Mysterio is also the Cruiserweight Champion, and he defends that title against Kidman at the next PPV. It's hard to call Hogan a "face" when he's still the same old character. He just isn't insulting the fans as much as he used to. Flair too is only a heel in that he picks people out of the crowd and calls them "fat boy". Otherwise they're both the same as always, yet WCW somehow managed to convince the fans to change who they cheer and boo. I didn't think they'd be able to do that. There was one point this week when Schiavone said something about not seeing how the NWO was right all along. Am I nuts, or is it really WCW that's made the heel turn, and not just Flair? As I said above during the Flair/DDP confrontation, this is all messed up. None of it makes any sense ... but it has the crowds worked up, and that's maybe all that really counts. Next week will be the real test to see if all this stuff is really working, and not just an aberration due to the Canadian setting. This was probably a better show than the recent Skydome RAW, but that's not saying too much. Take away that tag team match and RAW probably comes off as the better of the two shows. Easily the more entertaining of the two anyway. How sad is it that the best WCW can think to do with Sting is stick him back up in the rafters? Nitro will be in Las Vegas next week, and there's rumors that they will have a new set, as well as on-screen graphics and such. I wonder if Hogan and DDP trashing the set is supposed to be the explanation for that? There are also rumors that Randy Savage will be returning next week. I sure hope they do more with him than they did with Sting this week. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: . Length: Two Hours+. Location: East Rutherford, New Jersey. WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - A video package recounting the feud between Steve Austin and Vince McMahon opens the show. - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin makes his way to the ring. After working the crowd for a bit he says he's had time to look at the WWF Title belt and decide that all this isn't worth it. He calls for Vince McMahon to come out and that tonight he will relinquish the belt, giving it back to McMahon. Vince comes out and warily makes his way to the ring. After some prodding, and assurances that he's on the level, he hands the belt over to McMahon. The crowd is stunned by this. As McMahon is about to leave Austin stops him. The Rattlesnake says he may have given McMahon the belt, but he's still the WWF Champion. He has a piece of video played on the Titan-Tron, showing Vince McMahon taking the custom-made gold belt Austin had made for himself when he was last the champion. Austin tells McMahon that he wants THAT belt, and that he'll give him two hours to have it brought to the arena, or he'll whip McMahon's ass. McMahon reminds Austin that if he lays his hands on him without "sufficient physical provocation", Austin will immediately be fired. Austin has another piece of video played, this time showing McMahon stomping on Austin at WrestleMania. Austin says that looks like "sufficient physical provocation" to him, and that according to his contract he has 24 hours to respond in kind, meaning there's two hours left in which he can pummel McMahon. (Not the best explanation, but it does cover how Austin could have hit McMahon at the PPV without being fired.) McMahon, realizing the corner he's been backed into, wallops Austin with the title belt and makes a break for it. If you didn't buy the "24 hour" clause, McMahon's actions here certainly justify any future actions on Austin's part. Torrie, Ivory, and Ivory's scarf are walking down a hallway. In another hallway we see Jacqueline, Terri Runnels, and Terri's breasts. Sable and her WWF Women's Title belt emerge from a doorway in yet another hallway. Finally the Ministry of Darkness are shown emerging through yet another door in yet another hallway. - Vince orders his daughter Stephanie to make a call and have Austin's belt brought to the arena. Shane McMahon doesn't like the idea, but Vince tells him to know his role and shut his mouth. (Well, he doesn't use those exact words, but you get the idea.) - SABLE/JACQUELINE (w/ Terri Runnels) vs. TORRIE/IVORY Not much of a match. Ivory chases Terri from ringside, in retaliation for Terri burning Ivory with her cigar on Sunday Night Heat. Jacqueline wrestles for a bit, then tags in Sable. Once she has her back turned Sable clocks her with her title belt. Torrie hooks her and backslides her into pinning position. The story here is that Sable doesn't care about anyone. Suddenly the lights go out and the Ministry of Darkness surrounds the ring. Sable finds herself cornered. The Undertaker tells her not to be frightened, that he just wants to see what she has. She starts to do her grind, but the Undertaker grabs her by the throat. He calls out to McMahon, saying he has his "precious little meal ticket". He orders McMahon to come out. In the back McMahon tells his daughter to stay put and orders Shane to stay there and watch her. Out McMahon comes, but after a few moments of surveying the situation he realizes his mistake, calls out Stephanie's name, and runs to the back. (Say, where are the Acolytes? Hmmm.) Once there he sees some stuff overturned, a crew member laid out, and Stephanie missing. Shane, who for some reason had abandoned his post, doesn't know where she is. Vince shakes him, asking why he didn't stay with her like he was ordered to. At least the cameraman stayed in the room. - Shane tries to call the police but Vince won't let him, pointing out what the Undertaker did to the Big Bossman. - X-Pac comes out, vows that DeGeneration X will go on, and challenges Triple H to a fight later in the show. The phone rings. It's the Undertaker, taunting Vince about how Stephanie really is "sugar and spice and everything nice". - "THE BIG SHOW" PAUL WIGHT vs. TEST Whip, kick, chokeslam, pin. Wight grabs a mic and tells Vince McMahon that he's going to make him live up to those promises he made him when he brought him into the WWF. Vince has his troops assembled and is giving directions for the building and parking lot to be searched. He asks Ken Shamrock to find his little girl for him. Shamrock vows that if she is in the building, he will find her. - Shamrock, thus far unsuccessful in his search. - Jim Ross accompanies "Dr. Death" Steve Williams to the ring. He then takes a seat next to the Spanish announce team. - "DR. DEATH" STEVE WILLIAMS vs. "HARDCORE" HOLLY Things go back-and-forth here until Holly slips a table from beneath the ring. Williams scoops Holly up, knocking down the ref, and powerslams Holly through the table (big crowd pop). Al Snow then runs in and waffles Williams with a frying pan, because he doesn't want anyone else beating Holly for "his" title. He rolls Holly on top of Williams and the recovering ref makes the three count. Jim Ross protests to no avail. Shane McMahon certainly doesn't seem as distressed as his father Vince over the loss of his sister, as he wants to know what he should do about the Rock's upcoming match. The distracted elder McMahon tells him to do whatever he wants. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. - THE ROCK (w/ Shane McMahon) vs. "BADD ASS" BILLY GUNN Shane, who sits in on color commentary, sounds less-than-convincing when expressing concern over his sister. Gunn moons the Rock at ringside (as the Rock is delivering his own special brand of color commentary during the match), but the match reaches its inevitable conclusion: Rock Bottom, Corporate Elbow, pin. Shamrock, who is facing Ministry member Gangrel in a few moments, promises to rip his leg off and beat him with it, if that will get them Stephanie's whereabouts. - Austin's got time on his hands. Or his wrist. Oh, he's looking at his damn watch, okay? - KEN SHAMROCK vs. GANGREL Shamrock destroys Gangrel, repeatedly asking him where Stephanie is. More than once he comes close to getting counted out or DQ'ed. After about five minutes of this ass kicking he slaps on the anklelock and Gangrel submits. Then the lights go out as Edge and Christian rush the ring. They come back on and Shamrock has gotten a bloodbath, but he's also managed to grab hold of Christian. He twists the ankle and Christian screams that Stephanie is in the basement. (I'm not sure arenas have "basements", but that's a close enough description.) - Shamrock has entered the basement. - ROAD DOGG vs. GOLDUST (w/ the Blue Meanie) The Dogg seems to have this one firmly in hand, but a well placed shot by the Meanie with the Intercontinental Title belt takes the Dogg out. Goldust then applies the Curtain Call and covers for the pin, winning the IC belt for the third time. Afterwards he gives a little speech which seems to suggest that he and the Meanie are more than just "friends". Ewwww! Shamrock has found Stephanie, whose face has been covered with makeup and the Undertaker's symbol. - McMahon embraces his daughter and thanks Shamrock. Her also calls the Undertaker and his Ministry a bunch of "rotten bastards". - JEFF JARRETT/OWEN HART (w/ Debra) vs. THE LEGION OF DOOM The LOD are accompanied by Paul Ellering. The Tag Champs get an easy win, with Jarrett knocking Animal out with a guitar and covering for the pin (ref missed it, of course). - Austin's still counting the minutes McMahon's ass has left. Meanwhile, Austin's belt has arrived. - McMahon is still thanking Shamrock, saying he greatly in his debt. Austin's belt is brought in and McMahon blows the whole thing off, saying he's taking his daughter home and calling it quits for this night. He tells Shane to give the belt to Austin, then leaves. Once the old man is gone Shane decides to play things his way and starts giving orders to Shamrock. - X-PAC vs. TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna & Shane McMahon) Again X-Pac is in over his head, and it's not too long before running interference by Shane and Chyna leads to a DQ. A Corporate beatdown is interrupted by the lights going out and the arrival of Kane. They manage to slam a chair into his head, but he pretty much shakes it off and sends them scrambling. Now Shane and the Rock are in the ring. They call out Austin, saying if he wants the belt he'll have to come take it from the Rock. Austin runs out and begins fighting the Rock. Shane offers himself up as a sacrifice and Austin drops him with the Stunner. The Rock then catches Austin with a clothesline, and stomps on him long enough for Shamrock, Triple H, Chyna and Test to run out and join the beating. Here comes Paul Wight to make the save. He and Austin clear the ring and stand tall as the show goes off the air. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Are we looking at a Vince/Shane split in the works? It almost looks like the elder McMahon is slowly seeing the error of his ways, while his son quietly assumes more and more power behind his back. This could work if they firmly establish the Undertaker as a heel, allowing Vince to assume the babyface role. You then have Shane turn on him, he comes crawling to be the forgiveness of the fans, and voila!--Shane vs. Vince somewhere down the road. Shane's always been so annoying that most fans would side with Vince if it came down to a power struggle between the two. There's tons of storyline potential here. Good show this week, with maybe a tad more matches and in-ring time than usual. Nothing too great, but all of it interesting for what it was. It was especially interesting to see Shamrock elevated in McMahon's eyes, while the Rock is clearly aligned with Shane. That could all be a part of the above speculated story direction. A Corporate split, with some siding with Vince, while others make the defection with Shane. I guess we should assume Kane is out of the Corporation after all. And one last Corporation note, where the hell was the Bossman? An update on his condition and whereabouts would be nice. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: On the strength of Nitro's one good match, and the Hart angle, I expect Canadian Herb Kunze (you all know who he is) to rave about this show. He'll probably conveniently just review a two hour version of the show. This really illustrates the point of wrestling fans and their biases. This was clearly, by a preponderance of the time, a terribly bad show. Yet it had one great match, the interesting Hart angle, and the not-too-terribly bad Hogan/Flair/DDP angle and match. Was this an awful show with some good things, or do we just remember the good, overlook the bad, and say the whole show was good? I'm not a WCW fan so my own opinion is closer to the first observation, yet I recognize that some good stuff took place. So how much of a show has to be "good" to make the whole show "good"? I think it's how much bad we'll overlook, and how much good we'll ignore, that marks us as loyal, devoted, and perhaps brainless fans of one promotion over the other. It's with that in mind that I again say that one really can't compare the WWF and WCW anymore. They just aren't the same thing. One is about "wrestling", while the other is about "storyline". The WWF, given their current focus and talent roster, simply can't compete with WCW on a "wrestling" basis. WCW, on the other hand, can't put together any number of storylines, angles, and overall TV product which comes close to that of the WWF. They're just not the same thing, and it's stupid to judge one based on what the other is. We all do it--myself included, and it's just not fair to either promotion. In my own defense I'd note that such observations can certainly be true, but they're just not that fair. That's what bias is, and I myself won't apologize for being biased and liking the WWF more than WCW. I will apologize, though, for too often basing what one does on what the other would do. I shouldn't, I know, but it's being biased which makes me look at one situation and say "I'd rather they did it this way, like the WWF/WCW would do." I can only promise to be truthful in my observations, praise and complaints, and it's when others aren't truthful, or are completely ignorant of the disparity between the two wrestling companies, that I get the most annoyed. I'm know I'm often unfair to WCW, just as the Herb Kunzes of the world are usually unfair to the WWF. That's annoying, but not as annoying as when they completely overlook the merit that exists in one company or the other. I don't think I do that too often, whereas Herb Kunze does it all the time in the case of the WWF. Just trashing the "bad"--as one sees it--doesn't make any sense if you're unwilling to concede the "good". Now, this doesn't mean I or everyone else judges everything we see based on what the other company does. Often what we see can, and should, be judged upon what that company itself should do and is capable of doing. I'd like to think that's what much of my Recap is about. Taking this week's Nitro matches as an example, most of them were very poor: not based on what the WWF does, but what WCW itself is capable of doing. How many of those Canadian fans in attendance, do you think, can honestly say they would have been looking forward to a Bagwell/Smiley match, or Wrath vs. Kaos, or Konnan vs. Vincent? And while I'm sure they enjoyed the Hart angle, how many of them do you think would have much rather seen the two just have a normal match, with Hart getting the win? Probably a lot (though in this case I do think what was done was good enough in and of itself). It's tough watching wrestling and deciding if what we saw was "good enough", if it should have been better based on what they could have done, and if what the other company does would have been better. It's even tougher writing about it each and every week. Should one just be "fair" and not say much of anything about either, or should one be "truthful" and say what they feel? It's a journalist's responsibility to do both. I'm not a journalist, though, so I can choose one or the other. I choose truthful. I like the WWF. I don't like WCW. I'm biased. I'm sorry when I judge one based on the other, but I'm not sorry when I judge one based upon what they themselves are capable of doing. The most important thing to remember, though, is that this is all just one fan's opinion. Everyone's opinion differs. There really aren't any absolutes here, and what I say is no more "right" (or "wrong") than what anyone else says. All I know is what I write is "right" for me, and those who think the same as I do. The differences of the two promotions appeal to two different kind of fans, yet it's those same differences which keep many fans watching both, since they often can't get everything they WANT to see on either one show. That's why I still watch Nitro. But why do I still write about it? Well, that may be changing soon. Check out the website throughout this week to see what I mean by that. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 176 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 29th, 1999.