Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #174 March 15th, 1999 The Opening Word: Quoting Albert Lin, writer for the CNN/SI sports website: "Once again, the sport of boxing has proven itself no better than professional wrestling." Lin wrote that in reference to the Evander Holyfield/Lennox Lewis fight, which took place this past Saturday. The two boxers earned a draw, even though everyone who saw the fight (other than the judges) thought Lewis had easily outscored Holyfield. Fingers are already pointing at Don King, who holds considerable influence over the boxing organization which was represented by the British judge, who scored the bout a tie on his scorecard. King, who represents Holyfield, would have been left out of the promoting loop come rematch time had Lewis managed to win. Holyfield may not have even been interested in a rematch. A Holyfield win, on the other hand, would have left only a passing interest amongst the fans in seeing a rematch (as the loss would have killed much of the credibility Lewis has been fighting to earn here in the States). The solution? A draw, which would have stirred the anger of the fans of the fighter who appeared to have the bout won. Whether it be Holyfield or Lewis, a controvertial decision would have the fans screaming for a rematch. Don't be surprised now to see that rematch take place six months or so down the road. Early word is that it will take place in Yankee Stadium. Was the fix in? Who can say. Can one be proved? Only if someone talks. The laugh's on all us, though, as the live gate for the show was something like $8.3 MILLION, and there are supposedly somewhere between 1.1 MILLION and 1.4 MILLION PPV buys. On a related note, the fight took place before a sellout crowd of over 21,000 at Madison Square Garden. This was the first sellout crowd attracted by a boxing card there in several years. Contrast that to the WWF, which is running on a string of several MSG sellouts, having sold out the upcoming April 24th (hey--my birthday) show without advertising a single match! I managed to catch the "Legends of the AWA" show airing here in Minnesota this past Saturday. My cable's on-screen guide listed it as a "paid program", meaning unless it was mislabeled, the Gagne's are actually paying KMSP 9 to air the show, as opposed to selling it as programming. What money they are making from the show comes in the form of repeated endorsements they do for Twin Cities area Mitsubishi car dealers. This week's show featured Hulk Hogan, and two matches he had in a feud with Mr. Saito and "Dr. D" Dave Schultz. A nice little trip down memory lane. The funniest part was seeing Saito deliver a karate chop to Hogan's head, then Hogan clearly blading himself to draw a little color. Oops! Next week's show features Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Adrian Adonis--the East-West Connection. I missed the Rock's appearance on "The Net". ("Blew it off" is a more accurate description.) Wrestling fan or not, I don't just watch all these shows because they're on them. That said, I did watch a minute or so of the Undertaker on "Poltergeist" Sunday night. I've seen the show before and have had little interest in it. The Taker, while I guess he did okay for what it was, didn't do anything to make me change that opinion. I was watching MTV on Sunday and saw a show looking back at past "Spring Break" specials. They showed a clip from a couple years back when Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Syxx (Sean "X-Pac" Waltman) were guests for some kind of game show (which I vaguely remember seeing when it originally aired). They showed what I guess was an outtake, featuring Nash going after a fan who had thrown a rock at the wrestlers. Nash leaped off the stage and chased the guy down, slamming him into the sand. He was then taken away by security, as Hall told him they were going to press charges. Hall chewed out an MTV producer for their lazy security. I guess what caught my eye was how fast "Big Lazy" Nash moved! The old knees must have been feeling good that day. Sunday Night Heat was a wildly entertaining hour, but not much of an action filled one. If I recall right, they only had two matches, with a total in-ring time of less than three minutes! There was lots of "extracurricular activity", though, and the setup for RAW was terrific. I sure hope the live crowd got a ton of dark matches before and after. And how could you not like that closing shot of Paul Wight actually PICKING UP THE RING and shaking it! Better than that episode of Thunder where he broke the ring by tipping over the corner post. Also, it was announced that Wight will be facing Mankind at WrestleMania. The winner will be the sole referee in the main event match between "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and the Rock. The Uncensored PPV came off pretty much as I predicted last week in the Recap, and on the website last Friday. I called the Horseman Tag Title win, as well as Flair's victory in the main event. What I didn't predict was that Flair would win a "First Blood" match by pinfall. I'm still trying to figure that one out. I guess we're supposed to assume Flair "bought off" (or used his position as WCW President to influence) the referee. Before the match Flair told the ref to only declare a winner if there was a lot of blood flowing, and not just a little scratch. Nonetheless, both he and Hogan were busted open and bleeding quite well before the match was over, yet the referee never called a winner. Instead Flair used Arn Anderson's tire iron to knock out Hogan. A quick Figure Four later and the ref had made a pinfall count (Hogan's shoulders having hit the mat). I suppose some will credit Hogan for doing the job, but clearly all that's happened is he's notched up another loss by dubious means, which he will protest until his dying days. By all accounts Hogan did deliver a solid match, though, and also delivered on his promise made last week on WCW's new Internet radio show to go back to his old 80's "Hulkmamania" style of wrestling. Face turn? The fans in attendance were apparently ready for it, as Hogan was reportedly cheered quite heavily, while Flair drew a lot of boo's for his heel tactics. The show (which I didn't see, as if you hadn't guessed) sounds like it came off well, featuring a number of good (though perhaps not spectacular) matches, with quality wrestling almost uniformly throughout. The storylines and angles were weak, as expected, and a lot of the talent used was suspect (Sonny Onoo? Jerry Flynn? Vincent?!), but what they did in the ring is drawing good reviews. That all leads us to this week's Nitro, to see if WCW would follow up on that positive progress made, or if they'd screw it up and negate what they did on Sunday. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Cincinnati, Ohio. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - Hey, it's David Flair, in what is obviously an NWO promo since the picture is black-and-white and all scratchy. David is checking into a hotel. The mystery woman from last week ("Mrs. Robinson") happens along and starts up a conversation. We can call her Denise. - Hey, it's the announcers, in the arena of all places. Hype, Nitro Girls, Nitro Party stuff. If it weren't for Lodi there signing autographs, this would all be a lengthy promo for 1-800-COLLECT. - PPV stills, followed by a "press conference" held by "The Cat" Ernest Miller. Miller uses his charm to win over some phony reporters. - JERRY FLYNN vs. MENG Very quickly a shadow of doubt passes over WCW's booking acumen, as the guy who we've been forced to pay attention to for the last month or so (Flynn), and the guy who gets the big win at the PPV the night before, comes out and loses to Meng. During the match Schiavone talks about Flair's World Title win, saying the ref probably was biased and made the wrong call, but that he personally doesn't care because it's an error in WCW's favor. Tenay and Zbyszko agree with that sentiment. This pretty much sinks what still looks to be an ongoing heel turn. Reading between the lines, (lines provided by WCW through their commentary team), Flair wants to be a bad guy, but we're still supposed to cheer for him. This angle could get real ugly before it's all done. - "Exclusive" clip of the movie "Ravenous", which is about a bunch of soldiers engaging in cannibalism in the old western frontier days. Huh?! - Ricki-whatshisname at the Nitro Party. Clip of the "WCW Beachbrawl", which airs later this week on MTV. - David has made it to the elevator. Mrs. Robinson catches up to him. - As David is opening the door to his room Denise says her room key won't work. She asks if she can use his phone. - PPV stills. - Another Nitro Party update. Raven is there--bad toe and all. Raven says he should have seen his sister turning on him coming, since he set her hair on fire when she was six. He says he got her a job (and Hak too) in WCW. He promises to crush the two of them. - CHRIS ADAMS vs. RICK STEINER Steiner with the Bulldog off the top. - Disco Inferno comes out and asks the announcers not to play Konnan's music video again. He says he's sick of it. Schiavone says it's not up to them, and they play the video. Surprise surprise, the Disco Inferno has doctored the video so that it now includes footage him dancing around and mangling the lyrics. This was pretty funny. They cut it off about halfway through. Disco brags about now having his own video. - Denise is calling to have a new room keycard delivered. The camera pulls back and we see Kevin Nash and Torrie Wilson are watching this scene on a small monitor. Denise starts up some chit-chat with David. She tries to get cozy, but he says there's someone else he really loves, and that she should go. She responds by putting her leg up on the bed, giving us the familiar scene from "The Graduate". David even utters the famous line "are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?" Clearly he's on to her scheme, and tells her to beat it. (Say, maybe he actually watched Nitro last week!) From there we see Nash and Torrie argue for a few minutes over who screwed up, and who is going to do what to resolve the situation. What situation? I'm still at a loss to figure what the point of all this is, especially now that Flair has the Title. The Wolfpac already had their hooks in David through Torrie, who by his own admission he's fallen in love with. What more was there to accomplish? What was the point of further seducing him with a second woman? How would that have prevented Flair from winning the Title in the first place, and what would it accomplish now, after it's too late? Why wasn't this done before the PPV like they said it had to be last week? I don't care what anyone says, this is just plain bad writing. - More Nitro Party crap. This time Norman Smiley teaches Ricki how to dance. Noticeably absent is his "Slap Up My Bitch!" move. Now he does a "Pony Ride/Chicken Wing" combo. - PPV stills of Flair's tainted World Title win. Schiavone says "coming up next ... Monday Nitro Live!", followed by the opening credits. So then what have I been watching all this time? I'm not so sure all this was all that much better than what they did last week. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - Nitro Girls. Schiavone hypes the show like it's just starting. Does this mean we can all legitimately ignore the first hour ratings from now on, so that the margin of loss to RAW will be even greater? - White limo pulls up. It's the Nature Boy, with Arn Anderson and a pair of local ho's--I mean ladies. As he heads to the ring he bumps into WCW referee Charles Robinson, giving him a word of thanks for his job at the PPV. Robinson was responsible for Flair's Title win. Flair heads out to be interviewed by "Mean" Gene Okerlund. The interview starts with Okerlund questioning Flair's win, saying there's a "dark cloud" over things. He tries to get a word from Robinson, who has tagged along, but Arn Anderson cuts him off. Arn says it's time to congratulate the Horsemen. He then says Robinson's conduct at the PPV was "professional". "Mean" Gene says the referee's count looked a bit fast. Robinson responds by saying everyone in WCW owes Flair a lot, but that it didn't affect his decision. He says that in his opinion Flair's cut was merely superficial, while Hogan, on the other hand, was badly injured. He says he ended the match the way he did to prevent Hogan suffering further harm. I guess that explanation will have to do. Flair then takes over and says things are going back the way they used to be years ago. Goldberg comes out. Flair asks him if he's ther to congratulate him on winning the Title, or on becoming WCW President for life? Goldberg replies that he should be the number one contender, and that given how he had Flair on the run last week, he should be granted a titleshot. Kevin Nash then comes out and says he deserves to be the number one contender. He says Flair robbed Hogan of the Title, and that everyone knows it. Flair hands the mic to Arn, who tells Goldberg that he wouldn't be 173-0 if Flair had been around. Goldberg threatens to give Arn a Spear to shut him up. It should be noted here that while all three men are drawing a lot of heat, it's Goldberg the fans are most (or at least loudest) behind. Out comes "Hollywood" Hogan. Hogan says he should still be the champ, since he had Flair "bleeding like a hog" and also down for the pin count at one point. Both the fans and announcers boo this. So much for his face turn (and Flair's heel turn, for that matter). Flair tries to blow the three off, but they keep hurling insults. Flair, after being shoved down by Goldberg, eventually agrees to a tag team match, with Goldberg as his partner, against Nash and Hogan. "There it is," says Schiavone, "and Nitro is just starting!" - Horace and Vincent are in a heated argument over what went wrong at the PPV. Horace tells Vincent that Hogan made him in charge of the NWO, so he didn't care who won the match at the PPV, since it didn't mean anything. - REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. KIDMAN Following a string of logic I have yet to fathom, Mysterio wins this match, earning the Cruiserweight Title. Good match, I thought, from what little of it I watched. Kidman is just too bland for me to be interested in him, and Mysterio, even without the mask, is like some little cartoon character. I wish I could get interested in this division, but WCW still doesn't know what to do with it. First they had Chavo Guerrero set up for a title shot, then he disappeared, then Mikey Whipwreck (known by very few WCW fans) is brought in for the PPV. Then his performance is immediately forgotten as Kidman goes on to lose to Mysterio, who hasn't even wrestled a Cruiserweight match in weeks. Without any kind of storyline to follow there's just the athletes themselves. I give them all the credit in the world for their ability, but they all lack in personality. My opinion is the exception to the rule, though, as the live crowd was way into this match. This was probably WCW's "Match of the Year" thus far. My disinterest doesn't do it justice. I'm trying to be fair here. - Take the above situation with Horace and Vincent, insert Stevie Ray in Vincent's place, repeat. Disco Inferno comes in and Horace tells him he wants a match with Stevie later tonight. What, like Disco can somehow set it up? - "Mean" Gene gets a few comments from Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko. As I wrote on the website last Friday, I knew they'd win the Tag Team Titles at the PPV because anything else wouldn't have made any sense. The "Vanilla Midgets" may not be that over with the fans, but they are certainly more popular than Curt Hennig and Barry Windham. Bobby Heenan is out to replace Larry Zbyszko. - THE HORSEMEN vs. HUGH MORRUS/THE BARBARIAN Ugh. The Horsemen win, with Benoit landing a headbutt on Morrus off the top. Little fan reaction here, save for the finish. - Nitro Girls. - Scott Steiner comes out and shoots off his filthy mouth. He and Buff Bagwell then get into a shouting match. They seem to patch things up before it's done, but then Steiner takes a cheap shot and works Buff over with a steel chair. As many times as these guys have faked face turns (Buff in particular) I can't be bothered to bite. My local cable company actually cut away during this, perhaps thinking it was over when the two went to shake hands. They came back a few seconds later, showing Scott laying in the chair shots. The footage ran uninterrupted on the Replay. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - STEVIE RAY vs. HORACE I'd like some of whatever the WCW bookers are smoking, what with putting this match on in the third hour and all. This atrocity comes to an end when Vincent comes out with a chair. He holds it up so that Horace can whip Stevie Ray into it, but Stevie reverses the move and whips Horace in, knocking Vincent off the apron. Stevie rolls Horace up from behind and covers for the pin. Ooh, wouldn't a Triangle Match between these three be just marvelous! - KONNAN vs. DISCO INFERNO Looking at this and the last two matches I wonder how any WCW fans could ever be down on the WWF's mid-card roster. These guys, while they may be better wrestlers (and that's very arguable), don't have half the charisma of their WWF counterparts. That's just my opinion, obviously. Lex Luger, with his arm in some kind of bandage, and Elizabeth come out to the ring. Liz distracts the ref, Luger whacks Konnan, and Disco covers for the pin. I guess this is supposed to show solidarity amongst the Wolfpac members. (In reality all it does it make one ask where these guys are every other time one of them gets in trouble and no one comes out for the save.) - Nitro Girls. - BOOKER T. vs. CHRIS JERICHO No Ralphus or mic time for Jericho this week. Booker gets a cheap DQ win when Jericho pulls the ref in front of him to absorb a kick from Booker. Taking into account this and his PPV loss, the odds of Jericho jumping ship to the WWF in four months are going through the roof. - "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN/KEVIN NASH vs. RIC FLAIR/GOLDBERG Charles Robinson is the ref for the match. Goldberg gives his partner Flair a bodyslam before the match, showing things aren't going to go well for them tonight. Things start off with Hogan pretty much manhandling Flair. Goldberg tags in. Some back-and-forth ensues, with Goldberg, then Hogan, then Goldberg having the upper hand. Nash tags in. Teamwork between he and Nash sends Goldberg reeling. Flair is out of the match for quite some time. Goldberg struggles to rally back. Flair then slaps his hands together and enters the ring. Goldberg makes a grab for him, but the ref signals that he heard the tag, and orders Goldberg out onto the apron. Flair tries to work over Hogan, but Hogan "Hulks up", and sends Flair scrambling for his life. The fans are now cheering for Hogan, and cheer even louder when a slap brings Goldberg in and Nash enters and floors him with a kick. Nash tries a Jackknife, but Goldberg powers out and knocks Nash to the floor. Hogan, meanwhile has dropped the Legdrop O' Doom on Flair, and covers for the pin. Referee Robinson just stands there, refusing to make the count. Hogan gets up, grabs the ref, and decks him. Goldberg then comes back in and levels Hogan with the Spear, drawing the loudest cheer of this entire mess. The show ends, having run out of time. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Lots of mixed signals there in the main event. Hogan and Nash were playing things as babyfaces (which isn't new), and Flair was playing the heel. Still, the fans cheered just about everyone involved, with Nash getting the least and Goldberg getting the most. Nash is the only one who really got booed, and that was when he declared himself the number one contender. The live fans, with probably only a small percentage having actually seen the PPV, aren't reacting the way they should given what it looks like WCW is doing here. The home crowd didn't get much help either. The announcers should be playing up Flair's recent actions, but their blanket approval early in the show hurt that. Only Okerlund played things the way they should be. They're going to have to work a lot harder to sell full face and heel turns by Hogan and Flair: and that's assuming that that's the intention here. I'm not even sure if that's what they're going for, or if it's just two unrelated cases of Flair and Hogan reverting to their 1980's personas. Whatever they're planning, it should be clear that Goldberg is the one of the whole bunch the fans are the most behind. WCW needs to play off that if they're going to successfully turn either Hogan or Flair (or both--again assuming that's what they want to do). Some high points this week to what was otherwise a dull, bad show. The Kidman/Mysterio match, the main event (non-finish and all), the interview which set it up, and Disco trashing Konnan's video. That's about all that came close to doing it for me this week. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: San Jose, California. WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Video package recounting the mounting tensions between the Rock and Paul Wight. Included is the awesome shot from Heat of Wight picking up the ring and shaking it. Also touched upon is the issue between Vince McMahon and the Undertaker. - The Rock comes out, drawing a huge pop from the crowd. He warns "Stone Cold" Steve Austin that he has just thirteen days until the Rock kicks his ass at WrestleMania. "Rocky sucks!" rings forth from the crowd. They also chant along with virtually every other catchphrase he uses. (Just who is this "Rudy Poo", by the way, and why is his ass made of candy?) He repeats his displeasure with Paul Wight, and calls McMahon out to set things straight. McMahon makes his way to the ring. I love it when he tells the fans to shut up because he's got something to say. McMahon says he smells what the Rock is cooking, and it smells like monkey crap. He says all this "Rock stuff" is going to his head, and that "maybe you need a reality check, Dwayne!" McMahon asks him "what about all the stuff I've done for your family." In particular, his father Rocky Johnson, and grandfather, the "High Chief" Peter Maivia. McMahon says that WWF Championship isn't his, it's McMahon's, and that this bad dream they've been having will turn into a nightmare if Steve Austin wins the title back. McMahon isn't going to, let that happen, and to ensure that he's brought in Paul Wight. McMahon says Wight will make sure the Rock wins, even if he isn't quite as fast on the uptake as he and the Rock are. Enter "The Big Show" Paul Wight. Wight asks "what do you mean 'I'm not quite as fast on the uptake' as you and him?" Wight says he might just take one of those big checks McMahon has paid him and cash it ... on the Rock's ass! McMahon responds by saying Wight will keep cashing those checks, and keep doing what he tells him, because he always gets what he pays for. McMahon slaps Wight across the face! Wight grabs McMahon by his lapels and backs him into the corner. "Don't you ever touch me again!" The Rock just stands nearby, looking on. Once Wight backs off McMahon admits that he maybe he went a bit too far. He says this tension is precisely what Steve Austin wants. McMahon says he'll fix things, by announcing that the Rock and Wight will team up to face Mankind and Steve Austin. McMahon orders the two to shake hands. They do, and the match is on. As Cole and Lawler are hyping tonight's show a couple of workmen come out, carrying tools and large plywood boards. - Coming back from the commercial they show a scratchy black-and-white clip of an old car parked in front of a quiet little house, with the name "Cleavage" marked on the mailbox. I swear to god I thought I'd accidentally flipped over to Nitro for a second! I assume this is going to eventually be some kind of "Leave it to Beaver" parody? - The workmen in front of the announcer's desk are assembling something. Lawler asks what they're doing. They say they're doing what they were told to do. That's helpful. - ROAD DOGG vs. VAL VENIS Road Dogg has a tough time fitting "Intercontinental" into his usual routine. It's a necessity, though, as in a few scant minutes he manages to score a clean pin on Val, winning the belt. Wow, when was the last time a title changed hands cleanly in the WWF? With Mysterio winning the Cruiserweight Title a few minutes later, I wonder if these two title changes were related? If so, which one was planned first? (This change beat the WCW's by a few minutes, but that doesn't mean anything either way.) I'll let everyone out there duke it out over that question. Construction continues at ringside. - The Rock has a few choice words for Paul Wight backstage. Wight says he'll be there to cover the Rock's ass if he screws up tonight. The Rock nearly blows a gasket. Road Dogg is in the lockerroom celebrating his win with his fellow DeGeneration X members. Billy Gunn says he's happy for him, but he'd like a shot at the belt. Road Dogg says he'll give him one, as they cut to ... Vince McMahon leads his son Shane to the ring. Shane tells X-Pac that at WrestleMania, he'll beat him as easy as "1 ... 2 ... 3 ... Kid." Vince takes a seat at the table and says Shane will be in a handicap match tonight against "former WWF Tag Team Champions". - SHANE MCMAHON vs. "THE LEGION OF DOOM" The LOD, on this occasion, will be portrayed by Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco, who are wearing the shoulderpads, the tights, the makeup--the whole nine yards. Shane squares off against the two elderly legends and looks halfway competent in the process. Shane uses his European Title belt to clobber the two, and covers both for the pin. As Vince leads Shane up the ramp, the Undertaker's voice can be heard. "The lights are on, but nobody's home, Vince." On the Titan-Tron they show a shot of Vince McMahon's house, being approached by several members of the Ministry of Darkness. McMahon looks horrified. - McMahon is on the phone, trying to get his security company to check out his house. A black sheet covers the handiwork of the carpentry crew. Jim Ross and "Dr. Death" Steve Williams make their way to ringside. An "M&M's Slam of the Week" clip shows Tiger Ali Singh getting a fan to do an imitation of Jim Ross. Ross and Williams came out, with Williams giving the fan a hellacious looking belly-to-back suplex (dropping the guy on his head!), and Singh a big powerbomb. Ross whips the black sheet away and reveals a reasonable facsimile of the WWF announcer's tables. Funny how quick that paint dried. The WWF logo has been replaced by a stylized "JR" logo that looks similar, and the front of the desk reads "J.R. is RAW". Ross takes a seat and invites Lawler to come join him. - JEFF JARRETT/OWEN HART (w/ Debra McMichael) vs. THE PUBLIC ENEMY On Heat the P.E. responded to the rumor that some in the WWF don't want them there. A clip, filmed earlier in the day, shows them telling Kevin Kelly that they are going to work on earning everyone's respect in the WWF. Ross and Cole offer dueling commentary. Cole says it was the WWF "Executive Committee" who gave the P.E. this chance to prove themselves. Lawler says it's the other WWF wrestlers who don't want the P.E. there. The match itself doesn't last long, with Jarrett smashing a guitar over Johnny Grunge's head. The ref, even though he saw it, lets it go and makes the three count on Owen's pin cover. The implication is that the ref is part of the movement against the Public Enemy. Jim Ross as well doesn't speak too favorably of them. Shane has the Greenwich police on the line. Vince takes over, only to learn that the police won't go because they see what's happening on TV and think it's all a publicity stunt. Damn, that's a nice touch. - Unable to get the police to check out his house, Shane offers to call his "posse" (you know: Willy Green, Pete Gas, etc.) Vince says they can't handle this. The phone rings and it's the Undertaker. Vince hangs up, and tells Shane that he said "'It's almost ten o'clock--do you know where your family is?' That son-of-a-bitch!" - McMahon has gathered the Corporation, and is laying down some marching orders. Mankind is somewhere inside a giant shark's mouth (some kind of prop for the San Jose Sharks hockey team). He tells Mr. Socko that he's the filthiest sock he's ever seen, and that he's be giving him a bath later tonight in Paul Wight's saliva. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. - MIDIAN vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN Steel Cage "Hard Time" Match. After just a few minutes of punishment, (all delivered by the Bossman), McMahon leads the rest of the Corporation into the cage. McMahon calls to the Undertaker, saying he knows he can see him, He says the Corporation will destroy Midian if the Ministry does not get away from his home. The Undertaker's voice responds, saying that McMahon can go ahead. All Ministry members have pledged to lay down their lives when they joined the Ministry. The Titan-Tron shown the Ministry gathered on the sidewalk, and the satellite feed cuts out just as a car is pulling up to the house. - Tempers are flaring backstage, as Shane is unable to get anyone to answer the phone at Vince's house. - Video clip featuring Sable and Jerry Lawler at the Playboy Mansion. After a run-in with a security guy, and a close encounter with a topless, sunbathing Playmate, Lawler and Sable run into Hugh Hefner! Sable then shows Lawler the infamous "Grotto Pool". Before you can say "dirty old man", Lawler has stripped down to his trunks and is swimming with the Playmates in the pool. They're grossed out, and Lawler is promptly kicked off the Mansion grounds. Heh. - Lawler brings out Sable for an interview. Michael Cole says this is officially the highest selling issue of Playboy ever. Sable shows off her Playboy spread on the Titan-Tron, with all the naughty bits covered by "Playboy" banners (like they always do on "Entertainment Tonight"). Torrie then comes out and challenges Sable to a match at WrestleMania. Some snappy banter back-and-forth leads to Torrie stripping down to her bra and panties. Hinted, but not announced outright, is that this match will involve one of the two women having to lose their clothes. Steve Austin is in the back, gearing up for the main event. A policeman has arrived at McMahon's house and checks it out. Finding nothing he leaves. This segueways into another "Mean Streets of Greenwich" video. - BILLY GUNN vs. BOB HOLLY Hardcore Title match. Taking it to the floor right away, Holly uses a trashcan on Gunn. Gunn comes back with a broom, then a chair. After a brief excursion to the floor, Holly uses the chair back in the ring. He goes for a cover, but only gets a two count. He jawjacks with the ref, not liking the count, and leaves himself open for Gunn to scoop him up and press him over his head. Gunn dumps Holly completely out of the ring, taking out a part of Jim Ross' announce table as he smashes to the floor! Nasty bump. Ross complains about his table being smashed. Gunn uses the kid gloves to get Holly back in the ring (probably making sure he's not really injured), and does a Rocker Dropper onto the chair. 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... new Hardcore Champion. Vince is trying to tell the police to check his house again, even though they already did and found no one there. - Patterson and Brisco are trying to convince McMahon that since the police couldn't find anyone, that means the Ministry left. McMahon isn't buying it. The Undertaker's unearthly voice says that they're still there, waiting for "her" to come home (daughter, or wife?), and that maybe he'll be the father figure for her she never had (must mean daughter): or maybe he'll just torture her. The Undertaker's large symbol is shown burning on McMahon's lawn. - Replay of what we just saw. - Triple H hits the ring. Michael Cole says Chyna suffered a burned retina last week. Looks like she'll be gone for a while. He calls out Kane. The lights dim, and here comes Kane. The two meet up on the ramp and brawl around the ring. Vince McMahon comes out and calls to Kane, saying he needs his help. He says Kane speaks the Undertaker's language, and that he can talk him out of whatever it is he's planning on doing. Kane gives him a long look, then peels back his mask, revealing THE UNDERTAKER! I WAS COMPLETELY FOOLED BY THIS!!! God I love the WWF. McMahon almost slips into a catatonic state as the Undertaker advances. The lights go out and he says "it's just that simple: any time, anywhere." When the lights come back up he's disappeared. - Having been the victim of one of the greatest mind games ever, McMahon looks on the verge of taking up drinking. - THE ROCK/PAUL WIGHT vs. "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN/MANKIND Par for the course WWF main event: good match, not-so-good finish. Cole goes overboard by hyping this as the "biggest match ever on RAW". Wight does little in his WWF wrestling debut. An attempted People's Elbow by Mankind is foiled by a kick from Wight. Wight does some kicks, punches, a headbutt. The Rock drops the Corporate Elbow on Mankind. The match eventually degenerates into a brawl outside the ring, with Wight going after Mankind, and Austin pounding on the Rock. An elbow from Austin off the ring barrier sends the Rock through the announcer's table. Cole plays up the fact that Wight is supposed to be protecting the Rock, not focusing on Mankind. The show ends, like Nitro, with no winner being declared. (Steve Austin's music starts playing, but it's hard to see how that could have resulted from any kind of decision.) - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: The ever-present lack of quality in-ring action aside, this was still a great show. I don't think I missed more than a minute this week switching over to Nitro (not counting commercial breaks). Everything just flowed so smoothly, the matches seemed bit better this week, two titles changed hands, and the unfolding drama at the McMahon residence kept me hooked. I know I should have realized that it was the Undertaker instead of Kane, but I'd been so sold on him being in Connecticut instead of California that the thought never even entered my mind. The only really bad points that come to mind were Torrie's challenge (keep her away from a mic in the future, please?); and the quick nothing that resulted from the Bossman/Midian "Hard Time" match. I guess the P.E. match wasn't that great either, but there were other things going on that made that segment entertaining. What was the deal with that "Cleavage" video? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: RAW will be live again next week. WrestleMania is in thirteen days. I'll save a rundown of the card until the next Recap. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 174 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 15th, 1999.