Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #173
March 8th, 1999

The Opening Word:

I've gotten a ton of feedback regarding last week's "Bottom Line", and this 
is the first time I've ever generated that much mail and had it ALL be 
positive. (Well, one guy did write to call me a "wanker", but that was sent 
before I'd uploaded the Recap to the website and sent it out to the 
subscribers, so I guess I'm just a "wanker" in general). I think I said 
everything there was to say, and if I had to boil that opinion down to one 
short line, it would be "Hey, it's just wrestling. Lighten up."

Tried to watch Thunder last week but couldn't. Saw "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan 
make his surprise return. I can honestly say I'm pleased to see he's 
healthy and recovering, but that in no way means I'd like to see him return 
to the ring. I also blew off WCW's other various weekend shows. I tried to 
watch WWF Live Wire, but I just can't stay interested in the WWF's capsule 
recap shows (including Superstars). I missed the return of the AWA here in 
Minnesota to television. Apparently they have a new 30 minute show hosted 
by Verne and Greg Gagne which features old AWA matches. I'll try and catch 
that one next Saturday. My local public access station is showing NWA 
Worldwide again (formerly Music City Wrestling) after a lengthy hiatus. 
They actually showed it the previous weekend too, but I tuned in late. I've 
been taping it since last year, but there's really little there worth 
watching. Taped this week's ECW show, but didn't watch it. Matter of fact, 
I haven't watched any ECW for about two months now. I keep taping them, but 
just can't bring myself to watch them. Someday I'll sit down and have an 
ECW marathon session. Maybe. I'm amassing an absolutely monstrous pile of 
pro-wrestling tapes. Guess I'm trying to make up for all that stuff I 
DIDN'T tape from 1985 to 1995.

I did watch Sunday Night Heat. That show just keeps getting better, doing a 
great job of setting up the next night's RAW, or serving as the countdown 
show for the PPV's. This all brings up an issue which the WWF may be facing 
now. There's been some talk about them expanding RAW to three hours, or 
possibly adding a Saturday night show to the mix. I think I read somewhere 
a rumor about Shotgun Saturday Night moving to USA. All I can really say is 
I hope they don't expand RAW to three hours, and I'm a bit leery about 
adding any new shows to the mix. Talk about overexposure. If they did add a 
new show, though, here's sort of what I'd like to see. How about bringing 
back the old "Saturday Night's Main Event" show? Do it once a month on USA. 
Maybe the night before the PPV, or perhaps two weeks before to kind of 
spread it out. What I'd REALLY like to see, however, is a "greatest hits" 
kind of show. Make use of that massive WWF tape library. Show the new fans 
of today the stuff that they missed. I've heard that's what WCW is thinking 
of doing on that new TBS-offshoot network Turner is putting together. Why 
not jump the gun on them and do it first on USA? Just a thought.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours+.
Location: Worcester, Massachusetts.
HOUR ONE Hosted By: Nobody.

 - The show starts with a video package featuring the construction of the
   barbed-wire topped cage for this Sunday's PPV main event.

 - Replay of the Ric Flair/Arn Anderson video from Thunder. The gist of
   this lengthy clip is that Arn is having second thoughts about Flair's
   attitude toward his son David, which has been to ignore him and focus on
   winning the World Heavyweight Title from "Hollywood" Hogan. Arn can't
   deal with the fact that Flair isn't more concerned about the welfare of
   his son.

 - Various promos are shown regarding video tapes, the WCW website, and the
   Nitro Party thing happening at college campuses across the country.

 - Live shot of the Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island.

   Umm ... what about the arena?

 - Nitro Girls "special look" at A.C. Jazz ... I think. You all know I
   can't remember which is which. Maybe if I paid attention to these things
   I could.

 - NWO video featuring Hogan talking about what a slimeball Ric Flair is.

   This is Monday, isn't it? Am I on the right channel?

 - Another look at the live Nitro Party. Hey, what's Konnan doing there?

   Hey, what about this week's WRESTLING show?

 - Konnan music video.

   Okay, something's up. We're halfway through the first hour and they have
   yet to show us this week's wrestling venue. No ring, no crowd, no
   announcers, no wrestlers, nothing. I don't want to hold it against them
   if they're having some kind of "technical difficulties", but there's
   been no kind of announcement to that effect.

 - Another NWO video, this one featuring Hogan and Kevin Nash as they watch
   Ric Flair's interview from last week. The long story short here is that
   Hogan and Nash realize that their plan with David isn't having the
   desired affect on Flair. Instead of taking him off his game plan, it's
   instead made him narrow his focus on beating Hogan for the Title. After
   some accusations of Flair being a poor father they decide to move on to
   "Plan B".

 - Lex Luger video. We're at about the 40 minute mark now--still no sign of
   this week's live show.

 - Goofy taped segment in which Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell are pulled
   over by the police and forced to do "police work" to stay out of jail.
   For the next couple of minutes they go around ticketing people for
   smoking indoors, letting their parking meter expire, littering, and so
   on. Pretty dumb, and clearly meant to be "comedy", as opposed to
   recording an actual event.

 - Back to the Nitro Party. Now Kidman is there. Maybe the rest of the
   wrestlers will filter in before the night is over?

   (My Dad is pissed, convinced that the NWO has "pirated" the signal again,
   and that there are actually matches taking place that we're not seeing.
   Having no clue as to what's really going on I can't mount an argument
   against that notion.)

 - Kevin Nash/Rey Mysterio video package.

 - "Plan B", as revealed by the next NWO video. Hogan and Nash meet up with
   fitness babe Torrie Wilson at a gun club. Torrie is blowing off tons of
   ammo with her Glock 9mm. Nash says the thing with David isn't working,
   and that they should all meet over dinner to discuss the next move. What
   makes me think we'll be seeing that dinner meeting REAL soon? (The
   dialog here is kind of creepy, knowing that Hogan and Nash are both
   married men.)

 - Yup ... the dinner meeting, filmed in Hogan's basement by the look of
   things. Again Nash and Hogan say things to Torrie that married men
   shouldn't be saying. Hogan has assessed their situation and decides
   they're on solid ground, since everyone can now see what a jerk Flair is
   for caring about his career more than his family. They then discuss Plan
   B, which involves a girl Torrie has recruited to "do the job". This new
   girl, whose last name we learn is "Robinson" (sparking references to
   "The Graduate"), will get $20,000 from the NWO for seducing someone.
   Flair, I assume. Or Anderson. How this plan can possibly work now that
   we've all seen this is beyond me. I guess no one in WCW actually WATCHES
   their own show.

   (I should mention that all these NWO videos are shown in scratchy,
   black-and-white Squish-O-Vision(tm), which pisses my Dad off to no end.
   "The least the NWO could do is buy some goddamn color film!" My brother,
   watching the show at work, phones up to giggle over how awful the show
   has been thus far.)

 - Opening credits ... at the 55 minute mark! YOU MEAN THE SHOW's ACTUALLY
   GOING TO START NOW?! (Nope ... cut to commercial.)

HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.

 - "Mean" Gene Okerlund is in the ring. Is this live, or taped? Has the
   live crowd been watching all this, or did they get to see some dark
   matches? Or did the live show just now start? Beats me, as the
   announcers act like the preceding hour NEVER TOOK PLACE!!!

   Gene introduces Goldberg, but the Wolfpac's music plays instead. David
   Flair and Torrie come out. Okerlund say this is Goldberg's time. David
   says he's here to confront his father, and that he won't leave until
   Flair comes out. Goldberg's music then starts, and since we've had four
   minutes of live show thus far, it's time for a COMMERCIAL!

   ("Damn it!" yells my Dad, who has moved to the TV set in his room
   because I'd been flipping over to RAW.)

   Goldberg hits the ring. Words are exchanged and quickly Goldberg has
   David by the neck, backed into the corner. Split-screen view shows that
   papa Ric has just arrived and has seen what's going on in the ring.
   Flair sprints out into the arena. Into the ring he goes and he lays a
   chop on Goldberg, which the big man completely no-sells (cool!) David
   and Torrie beat a hasty retreat as Goldberg moves in, grabs Flair, and
   scoops him up for a bodyslam. The two start to argue, with the crowd
   heavily booing Flair and cheering Goldberg. This is so COOL. Faster than
   you can say "Space Mountain" Flair sets up a match between the two for
   later tonight.

   For posterity's sake I will mention that we've gone close to 75 minutes
   now without a match. Make of that what you will, but I'm sure that's the
   all-time record.

 - RAVEN (w/ Chastity) vs. HAK
   Raven/Hak's Rules, which mean anything goes. The two embrace, like old
   friends reuniting, then they begin to brawl. Quickly the action spills
   to the floor, then up the aisle. Raven suplexes Hak on the ramp. He
   brings a table out from behind the curtain, lays Hak on it, climbs the
   light gantry, and elbows Hak through the table. Bam Bam Bigelow then
   comes out and starts to beat on both Hak and Raven, who are still
   selling the table spot. The ref throws out the match because of
   Bigelow's presence. The fighting continues, and all three make their way
   backstage. Raven is thrown against a table ... Hak is thrown against a
   ladder ... Bigelow is thrown against an ambulance. A rolling dumpster is
   used. The three then take turns during moves on the hood of a white
   stretch limo. Raven gives Hak an awesome looking DDT. Bigelow then does
   a running splash on Raven on the hood. Later, Hak's face is nearly
   slammed through the windshield! The absence of blood here will make any
   that appears on Sunday's PPV look suspicious. In fact, I don't think
   they can really outdo this at the PPV. Match it, sure, but not really do
   anything that much more "extreme". Not that I'm complaining, though, as
   I don't plan to get the PPV, and enjoyed seeing this for free. The
   post-match brawl lasted twice as long as the actual match.

 - Replay of the video clip which started the--THEY'RE NOT STARTING THE
   SHOW OVER, ARE THEY?! We're halfway done!

 - CHRIS JERICHO (w/ Ralphus) vs. LIZMARK, JR.
   Jericho comes out with a dog collar and chain, and talks Lizmark into
   making this a "Dog Collar Match". The chain comes into play a few times,
   and Jericho uses it, along with the Liontamer, to get the win.

 - The moratorium on Scott Steiner's filthy speeches is apparently over, as
   he and Bagwell come out and deliver one. Not quite as rank as some of
   them, Steiner is still able to use his popular "hooches", "freaks" and
   "hook-up" lines. Buff must be borrowing some of Steiner's "vitamins", as
   his arms are starting to get as freakishly large and veined and
   Steiner's.

 - SCOTT STEINER (w/ Buff Bagwell) vs. BOOKER T.
   Long, dull match, which Steiner wins with the Recliner after Bagwell
   shoves Booker off the top turnbuckle. Booker "passes out" rather than
   submitting. They then beat on him with a steel chair. I didn't catch any
   mention of Scott Hall and his U.S. Title, so I'm wondering if his match
   with Booker T. has been pulled from the PPV? Hall recently injured his
   foot (someone drove a car over it) and he has been out of action.

HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

 - As "Mean" Gene is interviewing Jerry Flynn he (Flynn) is attacked by
   Ernest Miller and Sonny Onoo. Onoo cuts Flynn's ponytail off (or part of
   it, anyway).

 - SCOTT NORTON vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR.
   Remember what Rey did last week to Bigelow, and the week before to Nash?
   Here that outcome is reached by even less believable means. Norton
   spends several minutes totally destroying Rey, who gets in no offense
   whatsoever. Then as Norton is telling Rey he can pin him at any time,
   Rey makes a miracle recovery, kicks Norton in the nuts, Norton does
   this comical collapse to the mat, and Rey covers for the upset pin. I'm
   no fan of Norton's, but this was pure bullshit. I can't believe they
   talked him into doing it.

 - Nitro Girls, followed by our third look at the steel cage construction
   video.

 - BRET "HITMAN" HART vs. VAN HAMMER
   Hart takes his sweet-ass time in this one, securing the win with the
   Sharpshooter at the eleven minute mark. Seemed more like one
   hundred-eleven.

 - Nash and Hogan come out and take over the announcing booth.

 - Cage construction clip, fourth airing.

 - GOLDBERG vs. RIC FLAIR
   The match starts with Flair being unable to make a dent in the nearly
   invincible Goldberg. Nash and Hogan speculate that Flair is looking to
   take a shortcut and sure enough, Flair pokes Goldberg's eyes. Several
   low blows follow. The match then gets real interesting, if for no other
   reason than what the implications are as to who is the heel and who is
   the babyface here, when it all comes crashing down with the usual NWO
   run-in. Hogan and Nash join the fray and the show ends with everyone
   fighting in the ring.

 - This Thursday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

Another grand experiment by WCW, this week's show was. Can't say as it was 
a completely bad idea, in some respects, as it's something I've suggested 
in the past. Of course I've done so fully realizing that by doing so, you'd 
make that first hour completely unwatchable. I was fine with that, if it 
made the second and third hours better. It may have worked here. These last 
two hours flowed better than any on Nitro in a long time. But you can't 
ignore how bad that first hour was. Well, actually it's real easy to just 
ignore it altogether, which has been my suggestion for some time. If you're 
one who has to watch all three hours, though, this really, really sucked. 
It's pretty much an admission by WCW that their going up against RAW means 
more than the overall show. That's why little happened in the first hour in 
the past, and why nothing at all happened here. Clearly their strategy is 
to hopefully get that usually high first hour rating, then be very 
competitive in the second and third hours by offering focused, filler-free 
content. That high first hour rating would then give them the ratings win 
if their numbers are even close to RAW's. Of course this plan goes right 
out the window if they don't get that high first hour rating, and if the 
later content manages to pull them close to RAW. I suspect the first half 
of the second hour will do well, and so will the main event. But the rest? 
I doubt it. The numbers may be close this week, but there's also every 
chance that RAW will completely blow them out of the water.

Not that I give a rat's ass about the ratings, mind you. I can only tell 
you what I liked, and that included the abovementioned first half of hour 
two and the main event. The rest was lame, and I didn't like at all having 
to sit through that first hour without any advance warning. Next week I'll 
be watching something else in all likelihood, and will blow through it via 
fast forward on tape at a later time.

Here is the Uncensored card, near as I can tell:

 * Flair vs. Hogan. "First Blood" Cage Match for the World Title.
 * Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner. (Still on?)
 * Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner. (Still on?)
 * Mysterio vs. Nash.
 * Raven vs. Hak vs. Bigelow. "Hardcore Triangle Match".
 * Jericho vs. Saturn. "Dog Collar Match".
 * Hall vs. Booker T. U.S. Title Match. (Still on?)
 * Windham/Hennig vs. the Horsemen. "Strap/Lumberjack" Tag Title Match.
 * Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero. Cruiserweight Title Match

Is Bret Hart on the card?

WCW hasn't mentioned the "First Blood" stipulation on TV (because they're 
"G-Rated" now). Also on the line is Flair's status as WCW President and his 
career. If Flair wins he not only gets the Title, he stays WCW President 
permanently. If he loses, he has to retire. Since it's a "First Blood" 
match it's almost a lock Flair will win. I say "almost" because this still 
is WCW we're talking about here. Any of these things can be reversed in a 
return match between the two.

Once again the whole question comes up of how can any WCW Titles be on the 
line, or how can any of the match stipulations be enforced, since this PPV 
is supposedly "unsanctioned" by WCW officials? Not a new question, though, 
since this very issue has arisen every year since the first Uncensored PPV 
in 1995.

Unless Kidman and Chavo deliver a stellar match, this PPV has the makings 
of a monster bomb. The numerous gimmicks and stipulations guarantee that 
there will be very little "wrestling" on the card. It's going to take a lot 
of effort to ensure that all the unbridled mayhem adds up to a decent card. 
One can expect plenty of violence and blood, but do any of the matches 
"mean" anything, other than the main event? The only other one I can see is 
what's going on between Kidman and Chavo, but that's been a vastly 
underhyped running feud, and has been so subtle that I'm sure most WCW fans 
have overlooked it. Jericho and Saturn also have their issue, but that's 
been played up as second to how weird Saturn has become lately. The rest of 
the matches on the card have been courtesy Insta-Feud(tm), and were slapped 
together for this event. Whether Flynn beats Miller or who wins the 
Triangle Match or if Benoit and Malenko win the Tag Team belts mean very 
little to the average WCW fan. Maybe they'll set aside some time from all 
the Nitro clips on Thunder to hype these "lesser" matches.

My own gut feeling is that the show will come off okay, being three hours 
of mindless fun, but that whatever happens will be completely overshadowed 
by some surprise twist in the finish of the main event. Arn Anderson will 
turn on Flair, Flair will join the NWO, Sting will return, Randy Savage 
will return ... something like that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Taped 3/2.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler.

 - Clips from Heat open the show.

 - The Rock is on hand to kick off this week's Cavalcade of Promos. He
   picks up where he left off on Heat, casting doubt on his fellow
   Corporation member Paul Wight. Wight shoving the Rock, providing Steve
   Austin a steel chair to use a Kane last Monday, knocking out Kane with a
   kick, and his failure to protect the Rock from a Stone Cold Stunner on
   Heat, all add up in the laundry list of charges against him. The Rock
   calls Wight out so they can settle things between them.

   Out comes Vince McMahon instead. McMahon tells the Rock to stop airing
   Corporation dirty laundry in public. He tries to soothe the Rock by
   blaming all his ills on the overly greedy fans, who expect too much out
   of the Rock. The Rock is unswayed, and still wants a piece of Wight.

   Here comes Wight, and quickly the insults fly. Just as quickly Mankind
   comes out too, and he once again offers to referee a match between those
   two. McMahon turns the tables by declaring that Mankind, if he wants to
   be the second referee in the main event at WrestleMania, must face Steve
   Austin in a match tonight. Wight will be the special referee, and the
   Rock will get to watch from ringside. This should settle all the Rock's
   misgivings about Wight, McMahon says.

   Steve Austin comes out and calls everyone a bunch of jackasses.

   Cut to the Undertaker leading the Ministry of Darkness through the back
   halls. They come across a pair of jobbers in a dressing room and pummel
   them, as a message to the Big Bossman.

 - Mankind has Austin cornered in the back, and suggests that he let him
   win so that he'll be the second ref at WrestleMania. Austin says no, and
   says that he'll kick his ass instead. Mankind says he doesn't want his
   ass kicked, and that if Steve should change his mind, to flash him a
   signal in their match. *Wink!*

 - D-LO BROWN vs. OWEN HART (w/ Debra McMichael)
   A "Steel City Street Fight". Taking place at the same time as the wild
   Raven/Hak/Bigelow brawl on Nitro, this paled by comparison. They use a
   cookie sheet, a broom, do some moves up on the stage, but the finish
   comes when Jeff Jarrett comes out with a guitar. He throws it to Owen,
   but D-Lo intercepts it and knocks Owen out, covering for the pin. Owen
   is busted open and bleeding from the shot.

   The Undertaker is directing the members of the Ministry to stake out
   different parts of the building to look for the Bossman.

 - THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. BOB HOLLY/AL SNOW (w/ Head)
   Snow and Holly come to blows after just a few minutes. The Road Dogg and
   Billy Gunn put Holly away with a spike pilediver off the turnbuckles.
   The Dogg, Holly and Snow will square off in a "Triple Threat Match" at
   WrestleMania for the Hardcore Title. The lights go out immediately
   follow the pin, and the wrestlers in the ring are set upon by the
   Ministry, who beat the crap out of them as the Undertaker looks on. He
   offers a few words of gloom and doom for the Bossman.

   Wight and the Rock are shown in their separate dressing rooms getting
   ready for tonight's main event.

 - Jim Ross is in the back with Steve "Dr. Death Williams, telling him that
   the WWF isn't going to screw with him the way they've done with good old
   J.R. Cole and Lawler talk about Ross' Bells Palsy, as a video package is
   shown featuring clips from last week, a picture of Ross with his late
   mother, Williams getting knocked out by Bart Gunn in the Brawl For All,
   and an old photo of Williams and Ross out on a football field.

   Jim Ross makes his way to the ring carrying a shopping bag. He asks Cole
   to come into the ring. Cole asks what's up with the shopping bag? Ross
   pulls out parts of the ninja costume Williams wore a few weeks back on
   RAW, saying this was the gimmick the WWF marketing "geniuses" had come
   up with for Williams. Ross gets Cole to admit that it was J.R. who got
   him started in the business, then gets on Cole's case, accusing him of
   being one of the people behind-the-scenes who tried to keep Ross from
   returning to his job. He says Cole went around saying that Ross'
   paralyzed features would "scare little children and animals". Before
   Cole can even deny it Ross gives him a swift kick in the nuts, then
   takes Cole's spot at the announcing desk. Lawler is startled at this
   turn of events, and even more startled when Ross tells him he's happy to
   be back at his side. Cole limps away from the ring area. Vince McMahon,
   backstage with Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco, wants to know what the
   hell Ross thinks he's doing. McMahon snares Terry Taylor and tells him
   to go out and get rid of Ross, and that Cole will get the rest of the
   night off and Taylor will take his place. McMahon then tells Patterson
   and Brisco to go keep on eye on the Ministry. Taylor comes out and tells
   Ross that he has to leave, per McMahon's orders. Ross calls him the "Red
   Rooster", and asks him if he's going to start acting "cocky" (ooh).
   Steve Williams comes out too and escorts Ross from the ring area, while
   Ross sputters about that "mid-carder" Taylor trying to fill his shoes.

   I didn't get the angle last week, but I do now. Ross is acting as he is
   to get his job back, because the WWF (in storyline terms) doesn't want
   him to come back in his present condition. The question yet to be
   answered is how much of all this is a plot against J.R., and how much is
   in his head because he's in less than 100% health. We, the fans, should
   root for Ross in his fight to get his job back from the cruel, uncaring
   WWF. Ross is also out to see that Steve Williams gets the respect due to
   him, while Williams is on hand to make sure his friend Ross doesn't get
   in too far over his head. Great stuff. I'm hoping this leads to a
   confrontation between Ross and McMahon somewhere down the road.

   Goldust and Ryan Shamrock are getting cozy in the back. The Blue Meanie
   sits nearby, crying because Goldust has a girl and he doesn't. At least
   I think that why he's crying.

 - Patterson and Brisco have dressed in Druids robes, in an effort to go
   incognito in their search for the Ministry.

 - KEN SHAMROCK vs. GOLDUST (w/ Ryan & the Blue Meanie)
   Short match, with Goldust getting Shamrock set up for the Shattered
   Dreams fairly quickly. The Blue Meanie then chooses that moment to swipe
   a kiss from Ryan, which unfortunately grosses her out and distracts
   Goldust. Shamrock escapes from the corner, belly-to-belly-suplexes
   Goldust, and covers for the pin. Post-match the Meanie serves himself up
   as the sacrifice to Shamrock as Goldust and Ryan make their escape.

   Shane McMahon, Test and Chyna prowl the back halls. This is followed by
   another look at the "mean streets" of Greenwich, Connecticut.

 - Patterson and Brisco have come upon a door, behind which they believe
   the Ministry is hiding out. Brisco suggests they burst in and take them.
   When Patterson balks, Brisco runs down his past athletic achievements.

WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Terry Taylor and Jerry Lawler.

 - X-PAC (w/ Triple H) vs. TEST (w/ Shane McMahon & Chyna)
   Shane sits in for color commentary. I think Chyna is wearing more makeup
   on her face than actual clothing this week. Test, in his long leather
   pants, looks a lot like Diesel. X-Pac does his usual underdog thing,
   while Test does some big power moves. Shane McMahon makes this match
   hard to watch by being his usual "boo-ya!" ebullient self. The finish
   comes when Chyna tries to interfere, but Triple H pulls her out of the
   ring. Shane then runs in and clocks X-Pac with the belt (unseen by the
   ref), allowing Test to cover for the pin. Triple H chases Shane around
   the ring, only to run right into a clothesline from Chyna, who had
   ducked down below the apron. After she and Test leaves, Triple H gets on
   the mic and says he's going to find Chyna and settle the thing between
   them tonight once-and-for-all.

   Patterson and Brisco have decided to rush the room they believe the
   Ministry is in. They shove open the door and enter, only to find the
   Godfather and a pair of Pittsburgh Ho's! The Godfather chases them out,
   giving each a slug to the head. After he's back in his room Brisco asks
   Patterson if he got a look at the blonde Ho? "Oh Jerry, you drive me
   crazy!" replies Patterson.

 - Triple H is looking for Chyna.

 - THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. STEVE BLACKMAN
   The Godfather offers Blackman his choice of Ho's for the night, then
   offers him both Ho's. Blackman accepts. As he's leaving to the applause
   of the fans, Blackman is attacked by Darren Drozdov. He, Blackman and
   the Godfather are just starting up a three-way brawl when the lights go
   out and the Ministry makes another ring appearance, and engages in
   another mass beating. More comments from the Undertaker aimed at the
   Bossman.

   Chyna. Walking.

 - Chyna hits the ring and calls out Triple H. Out he comes and the two get
   face-to-face--just as the lights go out. No, not the Undertaker again,
   but Kane. Triple H attacks, but Kane shrugs him off. Chyna then grabs
   hold of Triple H from behind. Kane raises his hand, points his finger,
   and fires a jet of flame across the ring! Triple H ducks, with Chyna
   taking the fireball in her face instead. Triple H quickly strips off his
   shirt and presses it to her face. Kane grabs Triple H and tosses him
   completely out of the ring! Cool. A pair of paramedics come out and Kane
   clocks them as well. He scoops Chyna up himself and carries her to the
   back.

 - Kane has Chyna's head in his lap and he's rocking back-and-forth gently.
   Hey, this is making me kind of misty-eyed!

 - Sable comes out and takes a seat next to Lawler as Tori enters the ring
   and awaits Luna. Sable shows off her Playboy photo spread to the King,
   who slips into full pervert mode. Taylor says this is the fastest
   selling issue of Playboy ever.

 - TORI vs. LUNA
   Luna is DQ'ed after about a minute for choking. After she leaves Sable
   enters the ring and kicks Tori while she's still down, then rips her
   t-shirt off. Lawler lays down the Playboy and, if you use slow-mo frame
   advance on your VCR, you can kinda almost see something. Err--umm, or so
   I've heard.

   The Bossman has finally arrived at the arena. He is confronted by the
   Undertaker, as the other Ministry members move in for the kill.

 - The Undertaker leads the Ministry out onto the stage. The Undertaker's
   large metal symbol is there waiting, and the Bossman is laid upon it and
   tied down. As it's being hoisted up in front of the Titan-Tron, the
   Bossman manages to rip free from his bonds and drop back down to the
   stage. Before they can do much damage to him members of the Corporation
   stream out to make the save. Massive melee ensues. The Undertaker is
   eventually confronted by a number of policemen. After assaulting a
   couple of the officers he's taken into custody. When he sticks out his
   wrists to be cuffed, the large symbol hanging over the stage bursts into
   flames. Paul Bearer is suspiciously on a cellphone with some unknown
   person: perhaps the mysterious "higher power" the Undertaker has spoken
   of in the past?

 - Vince McMahon nearly gets himself arrested as he gloats over the
   Undertaker being arrested. The Undertaker, in the back seat of the squad
   car, just laughs.

   The Rock comes out to take his place at the announcer's table.

 - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. MANKIND
   An okay ten minute match with an odd finish. After evenly battling
   in-and-out of the ring, with neither getting much of an upper hand,
   Mankind pulls out Socko and signals for the Mandible Claw. Austin rolls
   out onto the apron. Mankind slaps on the Claw and referee Paul Wight
   makes a super-fast ten count, giving Mankind the win. The Rock goes
   ballistic, and even McMahon comes out to see what is going on. Before he
   can ask many questions, though, he has to step in and keep Austin and
   Wight apart. The Rock decides to attack Austin, and after trading a few
   blows he is knocked from the ring. The show ends with Austin looking
   puzzled in the ring, as the Rock gives Wight and McMahon a piece of his
   mind.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

Not much I can say about this week's show. I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed 
what I saw, but I still wish we would get some lengthier matches with clean 
finishes.

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The Bottom Line:

Big stretch of PPV's coming up through the rest of this month. The much 
anticipated Evander Holyfield/Lennox Lewis boxing match is this coming 
Saturday--the biggest fight in boxing now that Mike Tyson is back in the 
slammer. WCW Uncensored is Sunday. the following weekend sees ECW serve up 
Living Dangerously 1999. WrestleMania is the Sunday after that. I believe 
there was a UFC PPV just this past weekend. It'll be interesting to see if 
Uncensored can rise above the crowd and draw a large number of buys, and 
how many PPV dollars will be left by the time WrestleMania rolls around at 
the end of the month. Undoubtedly the loser of the bunch will be the ECW 
PPV. They've gone through a tough stretch recently, with troubles amongst 
their talent and finances. And now just when things seemed to be looking up, 
they've found their show being dumped from several key markets (including 
Atlanta and Boston).

There was a time when ECW offered a fresh alternative to the stale product 
offered by the "Big Two". They took risks, had interesting talent, and 
built a loyal fan base by trashing the larger competition.

Now days most of that talent has moved on to the other companies--companies 
which have, generally speaking, gotten much better. It's ECW now which 
seems stale. Where they were once close behind in the #3 promotion spot, 
they've now slipped back into a distant #3 spot, looking as small-time as 
many of the other indy feds out there. It's worth noting that given the 
chance to go there or the WWF, the Public Enemy chose the WWF. Other 
wrestlers on the open market, unable to go from the WWF to WCW and vice 
versa, are looking at spots over in Japan, or the other indy promotions, 
rather than lining up to go to ECW.

I don't really know how bad things are now for ECW, and I have no answers 
about what they could do to improve. I know I don't care much for them now 
in their current state, but I'd really hate to see them disappear 
altogether.

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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by 
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those 
of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for 
info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.

Volume One, Number 173 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 8th, 1999.