Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #162 December 21st, 1998 The Opening Word: The holidays are upon us and as often happens at this time of the year, friends and family go out of their usual ways to gather and have some fun. This was the case with myself over the weekend as I hooked up with some old high school buddies and celebrated the spirit of the season (i.e. we got liquored up and watched the Minnesota Vikings spank the Jacksonville Jaguars). This carried over to Monday and, as a result, I watched neither Nitro nor RAW live. I did see a few minutes of each, but neither show was able to draw me away from everything else that was going on. It's now Tuesday evening as I write this and, watching the first couple minutes of RAW, I find myself just not that much into the wrestling scene this week. It seems more like a chore than anything else to have to sit through these two shows now. I therefore apologize in advance for what will be a very brief and lackluster installment of the Recap. I can report what happened, but as far as complaints, criticisms, insults, praise, and overall reaction ... I simply don't have much in me this week. With Christmas and New Years to come, and all manner of parties, get-togethers and other gatherings of revelry yet to come in the next two weeks, I can't guarantee that the same won't be true over the next few Recaps. I should be back into the swing of things before long, but until then I hope you can all forgive the half-assed effort that will permeate this report over its next few installments. The big topic of discussion going into the shows this week was Ric Flair's "spell" on Nitro last week. Flair is fine, it was all an angle, and the impression we fans were supposed to get is that he was having a heart attack. The story became crystal clear last Thursday on Thunder when Eric Bischoff, after some more apologies to Flair and his family, went on to beat up Flair's teenage son David, then forcefully kiss Flair's wife. This all gives a heat injection to their upcoming match at Starrcade, and I think it was well done, but I fear it may be too little too late for many fans. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours. Location: St. Louis, Missouri. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - A lengthy clip segment opens the show, detailing the rise, fall, then as-of-yet unexplained re-rise of Eric Bischoff. (I wouldn't even have brought that up if they hadn't included the Dr. Harvey Schiller clip in there.) The point of all this is to set up Bischoff as the power hungry, manipulative heel WCW desperately needs him to be to make the Starrcade match legitimate. - FIT FINLAY vs. SCOTT PUTSKI What should have taken about two minutes takes more than fifteen, as Finlay takes forever to put Putski away with a Tombstone Piledriver. - They replay what happened between Bischoff and Flair last week, as well as Bischoff's ambush of Flair's family last Thursday. - Ernest Miller comes out to badmouth the crowd, challenging fans to come in. This lasts so long that I start to suspect WCW would really like a fan to run in! Then Santa Claus wanders out. If you've been a wrestling fan for more than five minutes you know that Santa will be a wrestler; and if you've watched WCW at all you knew it would be Saturn. Saturn beats up Miller. - CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. vs. KAZ HAYASHI Chavo wins with a Tornado DDT off the turnbuckles. Clips from last week featuring Bam Bam Bigelow, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash and Goldberg. - Nash comes out to deliver comments. He says Goldberg is 173-0 1 (I thought he was 190-0?) Nash says when he was World Champion, he defended the belt 197 times without losing. (Which may well be true, but let's be honest here: he DID lose it eventually to that no-good Bret Hart.) - Three rather unattractive Nitro Girls do a number. (I'm sure they have nice personalities, though.) - "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Raven (with Chris Kanyon tagging along). Gene, either not paying enough attention to the angles (or paying more attention than the bookers) credits Saturn with revealing Raven's wealthy, pampered past. Kanyon makes a smart remark and gets popped for it. Mrs. Levy--Raven's mom--then comes out, telling him he needs to go back to his doctor. He accuses her of trying to hog the spotlight, taking her cue from Judy Bagwell. - Eric Bischoff comes out (because RAW is about to start). As he's telling us all how great he is, how much we love him, and how old Flair is, they cut away to the back to show the arrival of Flair, Arn Anderson, Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit. Bischoff is clearly killing time, saying nothing of note, as Flair prowls the back halls trying to find his way into the arena. They come across NWO member Scott Norton and stomp a mudhole in him (with Norton, having a reputation in Japan to protect, no-selling most of it). Flair finally finds his way in, hits the ring, and chases Bischoff completely out of the building. Back to the ring he promises to kill Bischoff if he gets his hands on him. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - LIZMARK, JR. vs. WRATH Meltdown. - EDDIE GUERRERO (w/ Unnamed Bodyguard) vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR. Tell us his name. Tell us his name! Goddamn it, just tell us his friggin' name!!! Not knowing his name doesn't make me interested in him, it just pisses me off! The guy is a non-entity in WCW. His presence affects nothing. Why not have the common courtesy to tell us his name, so we can at least know who it is we're ignoring?! Good match--screwy ending, which has become all too familiar recently with the Cruiserweight Division. Kidman comes out for no reason, timed perfectly with a ref bump, and offers to punch Eddie. He accidentally nails Rey instead, Eddie rolls up Rey, and the now recovered ref makes the three count. These three are supposed to compete in a Triangle Match for the Title at Starrcade. The LWO put in a token appearance afterwards. Goldberg video feature which, if it looks vaguely familiar, is because it's done in practically the same style as the one that plays on the Titan-Tron every time Steve Austin comes to the ring. - Scott Steiner comes out and, after the usual, says he's added St. Louis Cardinals baseball star Mark McGwire to the NWO. Buff Bagwell then comes out dressed as McGwire, riding on the back of a tricycle driven by the NWO referee. Some gratuitous St. Louis trashing follows. This was ugly, but I won't look down on anyone who may have thought this was funny. (Not too down, anyway.) They set a Cardinals hat on fire, continuing Steiner's streak of using the cheapest heel heat tactics possible to get over. - NORMAN SMILEY vs. PRINCE IAUKEA Smiley with the headlock submission, followed by the "Slappin' Da' Butt" dance. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - VAN HAMMER vs. BARRY WINDHAM Ric Flair comes out right away and attacks Windham, spending several minutes kicking his ass. Vincent runs in, but Flair drops him. Arn Anderson comes out to even the odds. Brian Adams and Horace then arrive, but are blindsided in the aisle. The action spills to the parking lot, where security is waiting to break it up. As Malenko and Benoit are being arrested, Flair delivers a hot interview in the ring. ("You kissed my wife, you no good rotten bastard!") Bischoff comes out to taunt Flair as security holds him back. - JERRY FLYNN vs. BOOKER T. Booker with the missile drop-kick and the pin. - KENNY KAOS vs. LEX LUGER WCW committed a major continuity whatthehell last Thursday by saying Kaos was Rick Steiner's World Tag Team partner. That seems to have been forgotten this week. Kaos' High Voltage partner Rage comes out, distracting Kaos, allowing Luger to breeze through with a Torture Rack victory. - A few seconds of Konan's music video puts me in a bad mood. - KONAN vs. ALEX WRIGHT Disco Inferno comes out wearing a Wolfpac shirt. Konan tells him to take it off. Disco says Nash gave it to him. The fact that this angle exists at all shows how little WCW thinks of the Wolfpac right now. Konan with the Tequila Sunrise. Wright throws a fit afterwards, and as that is going on Jericho runs out and attacks Konan. - Disco comes back out and says he'll prove that he's worthy enough to be in the Wolfpac. He challenges anyone in the NWO. The Giant comes out. - THE GIANT vs. DISCO INFERNO Chokeslam. The Giant then badmouths Diamond Dallas Page. DDP reciprocates from high up in the crowd. - SCOTT HALL vs. GOLDBERG Kevin Nash comes out to watch as Goldberg nails Hall with the spear. He then pulls Hall out as Bam Bam Bigelow runs in. Then my tape cut out, but I don't think I missed anything. - This Thursday: Thunder will not be on for the next two weeks (Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve: both nights in which TBS shows movies). It will return the first Thursday in January. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Boy, I don't know ... Flair was really fired up, and Mysterio and Guerrero wrestled a good match. Other than that, what else was there? The major wrasslin' news sites are reporting that announcer Lee Marshall will be leaving WCW in January. Long story short, he lives on the west coast, all of WCW's stuff happens on the east coast, he can't move. The money is good, but there's no way it can adequately cover his travel expenses, so he's leaving WCW on good terms. In all of wrestling Lee Marshall is one of my least favorite personalities. Obviously, though, I wish him the best in his future endeavors (just so long as they have nothing to do with him appearing on my TV anymore). The "Giant to WWF" rumors are really gaining steam. The latest (credit to MiCasa and whatever his original source is) is that the Giant has said it's a done deal and all but said his final goodbyes to the folks in the WCW lockerroom. No idea if there's a "no-compete" window to worry about, but if not, a WrestleMania XV debut for the Giant looks to be in the cards. Starrcade is this Sunday. Here's the card: * Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash. World Title Match. * Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff. * Diamond Dallas Page vs. the Giant. * Kidman vs. Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero. Cruiserweight Title Match. * Chris Jericho vs. Konan. TV Title Match. * Saturn vs. Ernest Miller. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Taped 12/15. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Spokane, Washington. WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - A clip from "Moments Earlier" shows Vince McMahon giving some last minute instructions to Shane McMahon and the Stooges. McMahon promises the Corporate Team a huge surprise "bonus". He gives Shane a warning to keep his ego and temper in check. After the intro plays Shane leads the Corporation to the ring. Shawn Michaels is wearing a Santa Claus cap. The big blonde guy from last week--Andrew Martin--will be going by the name "Test". Shane says some stuff, leading to DeGeneration X coming out. Triple H says some stuff, then brings out Mankind. Insults follow. The upshot here is that a few matches are announced for tonight: Billy Gunn vs. Ken Shamrock; Road Dogg vs. the Big Bossman; Triple H and X-Pac vs. the Rock and Test; and Mankind vs. Shane McMahon. Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco are upset at Shane and Shawn making all these matches. - Another "Stone Cold" Steve Austin sighting, as he's been featured as a "Breakthrough Star" in "People" magazine's "25 Most Intriguing People" issue. - Mark Henry is trying to smooth over something with D-Lo Brown. It seems Mark has some kind of rendezvous set up in the back, and needs D-Lo to guard the door for him. D-Lo is miffed because they have a match coming up later in the show. - GANGREL vs. AL SNOW Some decent action here, with Al getting the pin following the Snowplow. The lights then go out, Edge and Christian run in, and Snow is given a bloodbath like to Tiger Ali Singh last week. After the break they show the J.O.B. Squad out to calm Snow down as he freaks out. - "BAD ASS" BILLY GUNN vs. KEN SHAMROCK Another decent match. Shamrock focused on Gunn's leg and left knee, softening it up for a submission hold. The match then came to an abrupt end when Shamrock jumped on Gunn's shoulders, intending to roll him forward into a pin attempt. Gunn slipped out, reversed it, and scored the upset pin, ostensibly winning the Intercontinental Title. Shamrock, with his facial expressions, sold well the fact that he had blundered, giving Gunn an opportunity to win. Commissioner Shawn Michaels then came out and broke the news that this was never a Title match (despite what the ring announcer had "mistakenly" said). Boo. Still, nice match for what it was. Gunn then mooned Shawn (DX censored logo covering over it), and was subsequently nailed by Shamrock. Road Warrior Hawk, sporting a large, fake-looking cast on his left arm, is pacing backstage. - Hawk, looking odd with a full head of hair, makes his way to the ring. Once there he reveals that his substance abuse problems are due in part to Darren Drozdov, who was his "pusher". He says he's now clean--has been for some time--and that Droz tried to bury him in Animal's eyes by making him look unreliable. He promises to do bad things to Droz. Droz and Animal wind up coming out, with Animal standing preventing Droz from going after Hawk, but not yet fully reconciling with Hawk either. Michael Cole bungles the impact of the story a bit by claiming that Droz was responsible for Hawk's problems "all these years!" Mark Henry is ready for his rendezvous. His knock on the door is answered by Terri Runnels and Jacqueline. - The WWF celebrates a "Stone Cold Christmas" by playing the clip from last year where Steve Austin beat up some guy dressed as Santa. - STEVE BLACKMAN vs. THE BLUE BLAZER Owen Hart comes out right away and says he's proved he's not the Blue Blazer. Stopping to think about this whole angle for a moment, what Owen Hart is doing here isn't really all that different than the type of things Chris Jericho and Disco Inferno have been doing over in WCW. It's all about playing clueless putz characters in denial, who simply can't tell the truth. None of these gimmicks have been all that productive, though the clear difference is that what Jericho and Disco have done has been funnier than what Owen's done. Owen sits in for color commentary during the match and accuses the WWF of doctoring the footage last week to make it look like he was the Blue Blazer. He claims there's a conspiracy, and that he should get off on a reasonable doubt like O.J. Simpson and Bill Clinton. The match itself is nothing, with Blackman winning by DQ when Owen interferes. Goldust then runs in to save Blackman. The Blazer's mask is removed again and this time it's Jeff Jarrett. After he covers his head with his cape Owen asks "who is that masked man?" Mark, Terri and Jackie are getting cozy backstage. D-Lo is out front guarding the door ad getting more aggravated every moment. With no Jim Ross to express his displeasure at things, all we have is Jerry Lawler cackling about how great this is. - As the two promised moments earlier, Terri and Jackie are taking a shower as Mark peeks through the curtain. We see less than the average soap commercial here, only getting an eyeful of their shadows on the curtain. - They replay the footage of McMahon which opened the show. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. - ROAD DOGG vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN After his usual intro the Dogg taunts the Bossman with some jokes about what the guards did with their nightsticks down in Cobb County. Having seen Billy Gunn get screwed over, Road Dogg gets the Bossman to definitely put his Hardcore Title on the line. That automatically makes this a "No Holds Barred" match, and quickly the action spills into the crowd. The Bossman throws Road Dog at some fans, and they all fall over a table at the rear of the crowd. He breaks a broom on the Dogg, then chokes him with the handle, dragging him back to the ring. Back in the ring he whips him with his belt. He goes for a bag of powder to throw at the Dogg, but fumbles getting it open. The Dogg manages to kick the bag, sending the powder into the Bossman's eyes. He then lets him have it with the Bossman's own belt. They go back into the crowd and the Bossman smashes the Dog with an electric fan. He then chokes him with a rope noose. (Lawler: "We're getting some serious hangtime now!") The Dogg is virtually choked out, and the Bossman goes for a pin (the match also being "Falls Count Anywhere"), but only gets a two count. Bossman argues with the ref, leaving himself open for a low blow. The Dogg then puts a plastic garbage can over the Bossman's head, then jumps off the crowd barrier and punches the can. The Bossman is quickly back up and the two brawl over to an entryway. The Bossman, holding onto the noose still around the Dogg's neck, smashes him from side to side into the barriers which keep the crowd up in the stands. Suddenly there's Mankind with a net. He drops it on the Bossman, then janks him one with a pipe or tube. Something that looks like a tooth (as noted by Cole, though more likely just a gob of spit), goes flying. The Bossman drops, the Dogg covers, and scores the three count, winning the Hardcore Title. With all the stips announced here beforehand the Corporation is unable to come out and reverse the decision. You know, ten years ago fans would have declared this a five star match. Perhaps not any more, but it was still some good stuff. I could see the Bossman winning the belt back next week, and this Title perhaps bouncing around quite a bit in the months to come. - Terri and Jackie have slipped into some sexy lingerie. They strip Mark Henry down to his red silk boxer shorts. They put a spiked dog collar around his neck. Laying him on a massage table they cover him in oil, spray some whipped cream on his chest (Terri samples a bite), and then stuff a ball gag into his mouth. Lawler calls it a "Sexual Chocolate Sundae". (Cole is clueless during all this, not knowing he should be complaining about his momma having to see this. Come back soon, J.R.) Terri then whips out a small vibrator attached to a control box, at which point they cut away to D-Lo out front doing push-ups. A certain someone out there has already labeled this "RAW is Porn". Correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding was that porn was supposed to sexually stimulate the viewer? I can't speak for that person, but it was pretty hard (no pun intended) for me to get turned on when I'm so busy laughing. Anyway, isn't this a little like walking into a strip joint and decrying the "filth" contained therein? (And no, I'm not saying the WWF is a "strip joint". It is "filth", though. Oh yes indeedy. Wonderfully entertaining filth.) - The Stooges are telling Shane he can't wrestle Mankind, but he's insistent. - Now they're strapping Henry down to the table. - THE ACOLYTES vs. THE J.O.B. SQUAD The J.O.B.bers are totally destroyed, and the ref just throws the match out for excessive brutality, or something. Shane is jogging his way through the back halls, the two protesting Stooges in tow. - SHANE MCMAHON (w/ Pat Patterson & Jerry Brisco) vs. MANKIND The match begins with Shane throwing jabs, then floating about the ring like a boxer (skills, I will suppose we are to assume, learned at an ivy league school). The other Corporation members appear on the stage, but Michaels keeps anyone from running in during the early going. Mankind catches Shane with a clothesline, kicks him in the gut, then plants him with a DDT (he sold the clothesline well, but his DDT needs work). Mankind retrieves a chair, teases a shot with it, then gives it to Shane to use on him. Shane waffles Mankind in the back of the head, but he no-sells it. Mankind then catches Shane in the corner as he's trying to escape. Pat Patterson comes running in, but Mankind moves, and Patterson smashes into Shane instead. Brisco comes in and Mankind knocks him down. Some more of this and both Patterson and Brisco get sent into the corner, squashing Shane against the turnbuckles. The Rock then comes in and as he and Mankind are fighting, X-Pac runs in. He gives Shane the wild bronco ride in the corner. The rest of D-X comes in to fend off the other Corporate members. Shane is eventually rescued and dragged from the ring. They play a Christmas clip, featuring "Classy" Freddie Blassie as a crude, crotch-chopping Santa who leers at women. - Patterson and Brisco are out in the parking lot, nervously awaiting the pending arrival of Vince McMahon. Brisco is afraid they'll have to do "hard time" which, as we all remember, involved the Bossman kicking the crap out of them. D-Lo is yelling for Henry to hurry up. "I'm coming!" we hear Mark yell. - D-LO BROWN/MARK HENRY vs. THE HEAD BANGERS D-Lo comes out alone. A shot to the back reveals Henry tied down, with a clamp on his privates, and Jackie whipping him. Not exactly my idea of fun, and apparently not Mark Henry's either. The Head Bangers cruise to victory. After the match Mark hobbles out with handcuffs and chains attached to each wrist. D-Lo gives him a tongue lashing for missing their match. At the tapings the fans, not knowing what was going on backstage, assumed this was Chyna's doing. Patterson and Brisco are still squabbling. Pat tells Jerry to keep his mouth shut as the limo pulls up. Brisco then runs over, whips open the back door, and tells Vince that "it wasn't my fault!" "What?" asks Vince. "Shane will be okay." "What's wrong with Shane!" Vince heads in to check on his son, telling the two he holds them responsible for whatever happened. Brisco, as he's done every other time we've seen him tonight, asks Pat if he thinks Vince remembered their Christmas bonus. - An Undertaker sighting, appearing in the latest issue of "Tattoo Magazine". - TRIPLE H/X-PAC (w/ Chyna & the NAO) vs. THE ROCK/TEST Commissioner Michaels tries to kick the rest of D-X from ringside, but Vince McMahon comes out and says they can stay. Test, in this his first big WWF match, shows all his moves have come from Diesel's repertoire. Big boot, kneelift, forearm--they're all there. He and the Rock dominate most of the match. Things eventually settle into a long beating session on X-Pac, with him making the hot tag to Triple H. Helmsley manages to hit Test with the Pedigree, but the Rock comes in for the save. Then the lights go out. Here comes Kane. He enters the ring and, instead of attacking the Corporation, who had him committed last week, he chokeslams Helmsley! Billy Gunn, Road Dogg and X-Pac suffer similar fates. Chyna finally comes in and slugs Kane. He no-sells it, then grabs her for the chokeslam. The show fades out just as he's about to hoist her up. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: An okay show, with some flashes of wrestling better than what we've seen lately. There wasn't that much of a big payoff, though, as Kane joining the Corporation (no idea how permanent that is) really isn't that earthshattering a development. I also think the Mark Henry thing fell flat at the end because it didn't really go anywhere. It was funny to begin with, but the end result was really just D-Lo losing a match. Big whoop. Featured as it was it became the big storyline which bridged throughout the whole show. It needed a bigger story as a backdrop to overshadow it. The story of McMahon leaving at the beginning, then coming back with Kane at the end, was supposed to be that story. It just wasn't strong enough, unfortunately, making this show a bit harder to follow from a flow standpoint. Had I watched it live I'd probably have flipped over to Nitro a bit more than usual. Jim Ross won't be back for several more weeks. The show really suffers from his absence, though I certainly wouldn't want him to come back before he's healthy enough to do so. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: I said back at the start that I didn't have it in me this week to level any in-depth opinions. Well, I do have one rant in me after all ... The topic of the WWF's adult direction has come up again, with this latest installment of RAW being criticized because the WWF still markets itself to children. Apparently some people out there just can't grasp the concept that the WWF is big enough to market itself to a broad consumer base. Do children watch RAW? Yes, I'm sure plenty do. Are they the largest audience? No, they're not. Most of RAW's viewers are teens and adults in the in the 18 to 49 age category. Is the show programmed for children? No, it isn't. Does some of the WWF's marketing and advertising target children? Yes, some of it does. I don't think there's any "blame" here, but if there is, it can't all be laid upon the back of the WWF. These companies have consciously chosen to advertise on the WWF's controversial Monday night show. I was paging through a recent copy of Playboy and was mildly surprised to see ads not only for the Sony Playstation game system, but for N64's "Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time" game. Playboy, a publication clearly meant for adults, is carrying ads for products whose main target audience is children and teens. These two companies, who market primarily to children and teens, have decided to run ads in a publication for adults. Why? Because they also have an adult market for their products. Over the weekend I was in the toy aisle in Wal-Mart and saw the new line of Movie Monster toys, featuring "Freddy" from "A Nightmare on Elm Street", "Jason" from the "Friday the 13th" series, "Leatherface" from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", and the female alien ("Sil") from "Species II". These were all toys, in the toy aisle, next to the "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers" figures ... and they're all characters from "R" rated movies. Are the movie companies who own the rights to these figures wrong to make toys aimed at children? Is this particular toy company wrong to make and sell the figures? Is Wal-Mart wrong to sell these toys alongside the other children's toys? Regardless of what any one or few individuals may think, these answer to all these questions will be dictated by the buying public and their main voting tool: the dollar. The difference some would point out has to do with products and manufacturers who only have one market: children. The WWF receives flack because they do have a couple of sponsors who are aiming their products at children. I can't argue whether this is really right or wrong, all I can do is ask if these same critics would silence themselves if the WWF were to drop all such ads? I suspect the answer to that is "no", and that they would just move on to another topic in which to criticize the WWF about. The question is whether it's okay to appeal at all to children, or just show ads that target them? I don't really get how the WWF would be any "better" if they stopped showing these ads, or stopped selling products of their own aimed at children. Would children stop watching RAW if there were no toys and other stuff to buy? Some, perhaps, but not all. The only thing left then would be for the WWF to "clean up its act", making sure it's once again suitable to children. To that notion I'd ask what right does anyone have to lay that stifling responsibility on the WWF? They are a privately owned company and can, bluntly put, shape their product to whatever audience they like. If Vince McMahon wanted to turn the WWF into a hardcore porno show he could. He couldn't show it on the USA Network anymore, obviously, but if he wanted to, he can do it. The only guidelines imposed upon the WWF are those set by the USA Network and the TV industry, and Vince McMahon's WWF is well within those guidelines. He may be "pushing the envelope" in terms of what some wrestling fans have come to expect, but in terms of TV in general, he's not even close to "crossing the line"--whatever that line is. So we come back to laying "blame", and coming up with what is the real issue here. Is it that the WWF markets itself to children, that the WWF's marquee show manages to appeal to children, or that they show ads from sponsors which target children? These are all separate issues, and while the WWF could address two of them by dropping the ads and halting their product lines, they can't stop children out there from watching their show. How do you tell kids "don't watch our show--it's meant for teens and adults!"? They've already slapped a "TVPG" (Parental Guidance) rating on the show, and air it in the two later hours of primetime cable TV. What else should they do? Move the show to a pay cable channel such as HBO or Showtime? Add warnings and advisory messages? Or should they censor themselves and change their content, alienating much of the new audience they've built, all to appeal to a small group of critics who would probably admit that they don't watch too much of the WWF anyway? Does it make any sense to spurn the audience they already have to please an audience that isn't there now, hasn't been there most of this decade, and probably wouldn't come back if the WWF did change? Some wrestling fans don't like the WWF. They say it's filth. They say it's unsuitable for children. They say the quality of wrestling isn't as good as that in WCW. You know what? They're right. You know what else? Who cares?! The WWF simply isn't what it used to be, and people can't keep judging it by that standard. Perhaps one of the greatest frauds ever perpetrated on the American (and worldwide) public was Vince McMahon fooling people into thinking, back in the 1980's, that pro-wrestling was suitable "family entertainment". He took a dirty, sleazy business, whose main moral message is that violence solves all problems, and snowed the people into believing it was something more wholesome. Under his guidance it got "better, but that was merely in the context of comparing the lesser of two evils. It was still violence, but dressed up in bright colors, and the kids were told to say their prayers and eat their vitamins. Eventually people lost interest and moved on. Now McMahon is doing it all again, only this time he's got us convinced that the WWF is now cooler, hipper and more "hardcore" than it once was. It's still violence, but dressed in dark colors, and the kids are told to "suck it!" Odds are that eventually people will lose interest again and move on. McMahon and the WWF will then move on to the next audience. It's just business, and their business is entertainment. So they'll go on programming their shows to adults, while taking advantage of that young audience they know is also there. As one of their biggest critics on the Internet is fond of saying, "the WWF knows who their audience is, they just don't care." This person couldn't be more wrong. Not only does the WWF know who their audience is, they care a lot about them. They care about selling them t-shirts and action figures and lunchboxes. What they can't do, and all the caring in the world won't change, is that they can't be their parents for them. The only way the WWF could cease to be a morally corrupting influence on them is if they ceased to exist altogether. Maybe that's what the critics *really* want. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 162 of the "Monday Night Recap", December 21st, 1998.