Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #153 October 19th, 1998 The Opening Word: Just a couple things this week. First, I got the usual "why do you still watch WCW?" questions last week. My usual response is that because I'm hoping they'll get better. As an addendum to that I'll tell you all that I have, in fact, quit watching Thunder. Ever since I stopped doing a review of it for the WrestleManiacs site I've cut back on how much I've watched. Last week I didn't watch a single minute of it. Since I don't watch any of WCW's other shows either, that means the only WCW programming I'm watching as it airs each week is the first hour of Nitro. Take that for what it's worth. The other thing on my mind this week as I sit down to start the Recap is the "Judgment Day" PPV. Since I didn't see it I didn't say much on the site in listing the results, other than to express some puzzlement of the direction the booking has taken. I'm not going to add much to that, other than to admit that I think much of my dissatisfactions stems from them simply doing something different than I had expected (and would like to have seen). With that I'm mind I'll be looking at RAW a bit more critically tonight than I normally would. The Vikings are 6-0, bay-bee! "Martial Law" rules! Clive Cussler is da man! "Tomb Raider II" sucks! Alanis Morissette is one ugly naked chick! Just thought I'd get all that out of the way. On with the show ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours. Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - Clips from last week, fireworks, Nitro Girls, same clips shown again, hype. No main event is mentioned, but we learn that the Four Horsemen are on their way to the arena. (Why does Eric Bischoff allow Tony Schiavone to make announcements like this?) - SATURN vs. KENNY KAOS Saturn with the Death Valley Driver. - Mike Tenay gets fan reaction about last week. - Opening sequence. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Ernest Miller. Nothing new is said here, although notably absent is any mention whatsoever of Jackie Chan. A "fan" runs in and tries to attack Miller. Miller begs for security to let the guy go. They do. The guy enters the ring, waves an arm, then stands there clearly waiting for Miller to kick him. Miller obliges with a kick that pretty much misses his head. He follows this up with some slightly more authentic looking stomps in the corner. Security drags the guy out a second time. Following WCW's lead, I heartily urge fans to run in and attack Miller at every given opportunity. Bring knives even if you think you can get them in the arena. This is what WCW wants so you won't get into any kind of trouble. - Nitro Party Video. Some Nitro Girls as well, I think. There have also been about a half dozen Halloween Havoc promos by now, which I edited out while taping. - Scott Steiner video. The announcers speculate about what Chucky's involvement at Halloween Havoc may be. For good measure they replay his comments from last week. Yup, looks like Chucky will be at the PPV. (Can't just be hype for the movie, otherwise they'd have mentioned that "Bride of Chucky" was the #1 horror film in theaters last weekend--in second place overall at the box office.) - THE LATINO WORLD ORDER vs. LA PARKA/CICLOPE/LIZMARK, JR./CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. Mike Tenay has to explain what "arriba la raza" means to Larry Zbyszko for about the hundredth time. Eddie Guerrero started the LWO, in part, because he was angry that Eric Bischoff always made the Mexicans fight other Mexicans. So here is the LWO's first official match and they fight ... Mexicans. La Parka is way over with the crowd, so it's only fitting that the LWO should win when he turns on his teammates, nailing Lizmark with a chair. Eddie Guerrero promptly comes out and hands La Parka a t-shirt, adding him to the group. (Because, I guess, treachery is the one value most treasured by Mexicans.) The crowd, really hot throughout up to this point, falls asleep during Eddie's post-match rant aimed at Eric Bischoff. Chavo walks out in a huff again over not being invited to join the LWO. He tells his stick horse they'll start their own "Pepe World Order". Even though this seems to be a semi-important part of the LWO angle the announcers for the second week in a row fail to bring it up. - Bret Hart/Sting Halloween Havoc promo. - KANYON vs. SCOTT PUTSKI "Who's better than Kanyon?" "Everyone!" the crowd yells. He did this once, it worked well, so now he has the green light to go ahead and do it every time. Other than this bit of participation, the crowd stays dead for this match. Kanyon wins with the Flatliner. - Halloween Havoc promo. The Fargo Dome must already be booked this week, because instead of Thunder being there like usual after a Minneapolis Nitro, it'll be down in Albuquerque, New Mexico instead. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - Scott Steiner comes out to hype his match with Rick at the PPV. He really works over the crowd in a foul manner. Rick eventually comes out and the verbal barrage continues. "Minneapolis" is mentioned about a half dozen times, really working up the crowd. (Let me just say that most Minnesotans, even those that live in the Twin Cities, are north country rubes at heart, and will cheer almost anything that they've seen on TV.) They also namedrop the Vikings, drawing more cheap heat. The two eventually start fighting, with Rick on the offense for quite awhile, then Scott taking over with a low blow. Buff Bagwell comes out for the save, driving the crowd wild. Was this a match? They rang the bell. - A "very special look" video of the Nitro Girls is followed by ... the Nitro Girls! I hate when they do that! - They show a TNT promo for UNICEF, followed by footage of Goldberg putting in a personal appearance on behalf of the charity. A cadre of zombie children encircle him, taunting him by chanting his name. - FIT FINLAY vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG Finlay wins with a messed-up Tombstone Piledriver. He also beats up Alex Wright when he runs out. I don't care enough about any of these guys to type any more than that. - Chris Jericho and one of his potbellied security guards come out. Jericho complains about his not being recognized for beating "Greenburg" three times. You know, I might care about this angle if they would actually do something with it on any two consecutive weeks. Jericho's character is one of an annoying twerp, ergo he annoys me, ergo I give him no credit for his mic skills, wrestling ability, etc. Sorry, but that's how it works. He "sucks", and I don't care about him anymore. I just don't look forward to seeing him anymore, and change the channel the second he appears on my TV screen. They've ruined him for me. Change the character and maybe give him another chance. Anyway, through a contrived series of comments he winds up forcing Diamond Dallas Page to come out. A challenge later and we have a match made. Yeah, seeing Jericho job to that scruffy hack DDP is *really* going to win my favor back. - Scott Hall is off in a bar somewhere getting shitfaced. Really. They even show us video of him. - WRATH vs. TOKYO MAGNUM Wrath with the Meltdown. No, I'm not really leaving anything out. That was just about how quick the match was. - Indicative of a goof, they show us a clip of Bagwell removing his NWO t-shirt, which happened during the commercial after the Steiner brawl. I assume they were supposed to show us this about a half hour ago, right after that commercial break. Bobby Heenan replaces Larry Zbyszko. - ALEX WRIGHT/DISCO INFERNO vs. SUPER CALO/SILVER KING Didn't Wright and Disco break up? Isn't Silver King a "rudo", while Calo is a "technico"? And why is the Four Horsemen's music playing? Arn Anderson leads Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko to the ring, taking the place of the two Mexicans. Eric Bischoff quickly comes out and kicks Tenay out of the booth, taking his place. Bischoff says these guys are all in violation of their contract, so they will wrestle for free. - THE FOUR HORSEMEN vs. ALEX WRIGHT/DISCO INFERNO Bischoff says "wafflehouse" several times. I guess he likes waffles. Benoit and Malenko win quickly and easily--Benoit slapping the Crippler Crossface on Disco. The match doesn't last long enough to be considered "good", nor are the two Horsemen in there long enough to look particularly impressive. Bischoff says this will never happen again, and that they all now work for free (hinting that they are all now in the same contractual limbo that Flair is in). He then turns around and says they can come wrestle anytime they want since they'll be doing so for free. (So by his own admission the Horsemen can appear anytime they want. WHAT-EVAH!) - More of Hall getting sloshed. - CHRIS JERICHO vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE See above Jericho notes. Jericho wins when Goldberg, that hot-headed crybaby, who was supposed to be at a UNICEF function but apparently wasn't, making WCW liars and Jericho an honest man, runs in and attacks Jericho, giving him the decision via DQ. The ring then floods with officials, who are all required to keep Goldberg and DDP apart. Six weeks to hype the match and *this* was the best they could come up with. - Scott Hall, that lush, is hitting on a woman in the bar. Somewhere Dana Hall now has a new chapter for her tell-all book. - REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. KIDMAN Hey, Mysterio is back! Hey, let me try to find that enthusiasm I had for him when he last regularly wrestled eight months ago! Hey, I can't find it! Hey, Kidman has as much charisma as a wet mop! Hey, they wrestle to a ten minute draw in twelve minutes! Flamers take note: yes I realize this was supposedly a phenomenal match. Well go tell someone else because I didn't watch it live, and fast forwarded through most of it on tape. Overexposure and three years straight of nothing angles have destroyed the last shred of interest I have in this Cruiserweight Division. Blame it on my Minnesota heritage if you must, as the crowd too lost interest in this match, amusing themselves throughout by chanting "Green Bay sucks!" and doing the wave. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Mean" Gene brings out Minneapolis Mayor Sharon Sayles Belton (drawing a boo and a chant of "Jesse!" (Ventura) from the crowd). Mayor Belton then brings out former Minnesota Twin Kirby Puckett, and current Minnesota Viking John Randle. Man, talk about sucking up to the local crowd. Where's "Benchwarmer" Bob Lurtsema? The Mayor then brings out Ric Flair and, in case the framed certificate in her hand hadn't tipped you off, she declares it "Ric Flair Day" for the city of Minneapolis. (Hmmm ... the last time they were here they got Governor Arne Carlson to declare it "Ric Flair Day" for the whole state. At this rate the next time they come through it'll be the owner of the Target Center declaring it "Ric Flair Day" for the facility.) Out comes Eric Bischoff to complain, getting in the Mayor's face. Sharon Sayles Belton, a plucky, charismatic African American and great public speaker, tells Bischoff that this is her city and she can do what she wants. Bischoff gets a bit too aggressive and Puckett and Randle step up into his face, along with a uniformed Minneapolis officer, who tells Bischoff that there won't be a repeat of what happened in Chicago here. He says Bischoff knows what our jails are like, and that he has some unpaid parking tickets he should take care of. "I paid those!" protests Bischoff. The cop tells him he has 20 minutes to leave the building. Rather than claim that he has a lease and a lawyer and such, he leaves. The camera follows him, for no real apparent reason, until he gets to the back, where we see his limo being hooked up and towed away. Bischoff is last seen about a block down the street chasing the wrecker. Okay, I laughed at this, but only because it's my state. That, and the Mayor sounds just like the WWF's Jacqueline. - STEVIE RAY/SCOTT NORTON/SCOTT HALL vs. KONAN/LEX LUGER/KEVIN NASH Hall is slow coming out because he's drunk, which annoys his teammates. Then the Wolfpac come out, but Nash is nowhere to be seen. Cut to the back, where Nash is stumbling around, apparently drunk, with a beverage in his hand. The announcers point out that he's wearing an old Outsiders shirt. Nash spills his drink and has to go back to the dressing room for another one. The match itself is a stomp-and-punch yawner, with both teams doing their best to keep Hall and Nash out of the ring. Of course they both end up being tagged in. The two rummies-in-arms do a high five, then twist their arms around each other and drink, like a couple at their wedding reception. Nash then indicates that his cup is empty and that he's been faking. He levels Hall with a big boot, then a few punches. Stevie Ray runs in, hits Nash, and the ref calls for the bell. Total match time for Nash: one minute. Lazy bastard. - "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN vs. HORACE BOULDER Hogan chases Michael Buffer away before he can finish the intro's. He then has his nephew Horace come out. He asks him to tell the fans what his name is. "Horace," he answers. Hogan tells him to shoot and reveal his "real" name. "Horace Hogan!" Hogan says he sees his dead brother every time he looks at Horace, and that the same blood runs through him. He calls for the NWO to come out. He says he's proud if Horace, and that he loves him, and starts to take off his shirt, as if to give it to him, He then nails Horace, knocking him to the canvas. He stomps on him, whips him with his belt, even nails him with a steel chair. The other NWO members finally pull Hogan off. Hogan says this is a sacrifice, showing to the Warrior that if he'll do this to his family, he'll do worse to his enemies. (Didn't Hogan do this once before with Beefcake, back when he tried to join the NWO?) Horace is carted away as Hogan continues to ramble about the Warrior. Out comes the Warrior, and the audio is suddenly muted to block out all the boo's. The Warrior has a baseball bat and beats up the entire NWO, save for Hogan, who slipped out a moment earlier. Hogan challenges the Warrior to drop the bat and face him mano-a-mano. The Giant, meanwhile, sneaks up from behind and headbutts the Warrior. He hoists him up for a chokeslam, which the crowd obviously loves (though the audio is still being dampened). Hogan produces a can of black spraypaint and writes "NWO" on the Warrior's chest. (Can the man do NOTHING original?!) Hogan drops a couple of legs and tells the Warrior to train, say his prayers and eat his vitamins. The segment ends with the Warrior trying to power back up, shaking his fist in the air, but WCW cuts away to a long shot so that we can't see it. - Bret Hart comes out and whines about the fans, Sting, his life, etc. Out comes Sting and ... - STING vs. BRET "HITMAN" HART Some brawling, a little bit of back-and-forth, and Sting manages to slap on the Scorpion Deathlock. The referee tries to get Sting to let go but he won't. Other referees come out but he still won't let go. Stevie Ray and Vincent come out to beat on him, but he no-sells it and maintains the hold. He eventually lets go, beats the two NWO members up, and chases both them and Hart to the back. - This Thursday: I think the Warrior is supposed to be there. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Let me be clear on a theme I touched upon more than once above: I do NOT hate everything about WCW. There's simply a lot of what they do that doesn't particularly interest me. You'll note that I didn't say that Chris Jericho was a bad wrestler, that the Horsemen were bad wrestlers, that the Cruisers or Mexican are bad wrestlers, or that any of them wrestled bad matches. I'm simply no longer interested in them, and as such pay little attention to them live, or when watching the show on tape. I blow through those matches not so much because I disliked them, but because they no longer hold my attention. If something of a booking nature that is noteworthy happens during such matches, I'll mention it. Otherwise my own apathy leads me to mentioning the result, maybe a few other observations, then move on. If you don't think it's fair of me to not give credit to WCW for such "achievements" then I'm sorry, and I'm also sorry if I fail to mention a spectacular move that is performed in one of these matches. If you didn't see the show then I apologize for not being capable of delivering a description which allows for a mental image of the match to be formed. If you did see it ... then what the hell are you complaining about? You're just reading this to get my opinions, right? I know I used to do lengthier match commentary, but that was back when Nitro was only an hour or two long. At three hours plus for them, and another two hours plus for RAW, I simply can't do that these days and still retain my sanity. I have to focus on that which I like, or engages my interest, or is generally noteworthy, in order to get through this thing each week. To be honest I mostly watch WCW these days to complain about them. There, it's now out in the open. I'm a WCW basher. I used to be a fan, but they screwed the company up and ruined it for me. So I complain. This Recap, and these complaints, are my hobby. It has nothing to do with me being a WWF fan. I don't need WCW to be "bad" for me to like the WWF. How good or bad each is has nothing to do with each other, except for their cumulative effect dictating how avid a fan I am of wrestling in general at any given time. The better the two are combined, the bigger the fan I am. It's like watching the NFL. I'm not that big a football fan, but the better the Minnesota Viking do then the more interested I am, in general, about the rest of the league. You still won't see me watching some of awful teams out there, though, unless it's my team they happen to be playing. If anything the state WCW is in now hurts how much I enjoy the WWF, because WCW right now makes me less of a fan overall of wrestling. On the other hand it may force me to appreciate the WWF more because that's all I have left as a fan (though really I don't think that's much the case). In any event I could stop watching WCW tomorrow and the only thing I would miss is the complaining and writing this Recap. So that's why I watch, and that's why I write, and that's the way it'll be until WCW changes, or I quit altogether. As for this week's show, I can see at least one area where WCW is trying to change. Holding off Hogan and the Warrior as long as they did was a calculated move. Other than that, this show seemed business as usual to me, charged with the task of hyping the PPV. They did about as good a job as could be expected given the matches involved. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Milwaukee, WI. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - A video package opens the show, featuring the firing of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. - A half-assed version of "Happy Days Are Here Again" plays as every WWF Superstar makes their way to the ring. Mr. McMahon has requested the assembly so the WWF, as a whole, can celebrate the firing of Steve Austin. McMahon has a picture of a puzzled Austin put on the Titan-Tron as he tells us how good it felt to fire him ("It was better than sex!") McMahon says all that Steve Austin merchandise will now become collectors items, and will be replaced by a new t-shirt: "McMahon 3:16", which means "I have the brass to fire your ass!" He wraps up by warning all the other Superstars that the same could happen to them, and that none of them are above Vince McMahon. Meanwhile behind Vince the picture of Austin has dissolved to a live shot of Austin outside the arena, in his truck, rubbing a cleaning rag over scope-mounted AR-15 (the civilian version of the M-16!) By god, Austin has gone postal! Oh yeah, McMahon announced that the new WWF Champion will be crowned at Survivor Series in a sixteen man one-night tournament. I'd be more fired up about this if we hadn't just seen an eight man one-nighter for the IC belt last week. - McMahon is being hustled by his stooges into a safe room in the bowels of the arena. Asking what kind of weapons Austin had, they tell him he had a "3:16", an AK-47 and a shotgun. Vince tells the Big Bossman to get his family out of their skybox and get them out of town. With him gone that leaves Pat Patterson, Jerry Brisco, Commissioner Slaughter and a nameless guard with a K-9 (dog) to protect him from Austin. McMahon also tells the cameraman to stay so that they can document everything that happens. Another look at Austin cleaning his rifle. This is starting to creep me out. I'm having "Full Metal Jacket" flashbacks. - KEN SHAMROCK vs. X-PAC (w/ Chyna) One thing I didn't mention last week is how well they got Shamrock over as a heel by the time the IC Title tournament was done. All his wins came via body part submission holds, and by that last match the crowd was chanting "Shamrock sucks!" It looks like this thing is going to work, and with time he could become a major league bad guy. Before the match starts they show a clip of the members of D-X hanging out with Motley Crue. The Crue will be performing this Sunday on a taped Sunday Night Heat, then on next week's taped RAW. A couple minutes into the match two police officers come out and arrest Chyna, apparently in relation to the whole Mark Henry "sexual harassment lawsuit" thing. The match, running four or five minutes, is pretty good, with Shamrock tossing X-Pac around like a rag doll. Mankind then comes out to yell at Shamrock. Ken drags him into the ring. Mankind applies the Mandible Claw. Shamrock breaks free with a belly-to-belly suplex. Having been thoroughly distracted, X-Pac is able to hit his finisher and get the pin in this non-title match. X-Pac has sure turned up his workrate since coming back. Now if they can just keep his foul mouth away from an open mic. Early in the above match they do some stuff to sell the Austin/McMahon angle. They show McMahon asking about the police being called. Brisco assures him that they're already there. (Too bad for McMahon they had to leave when they arrested Chyna.) Ross assures the viewers that the only person in danger would seem to be McMahon. Lawler talks about the show having to go on, even in the shadow of this volatile situation. Lawler also asks why those two cops don't arrest Austin? Ross points out that he hasn't broken any laws yet. (Yeah, let him kill McMahon first. THEN they'll have a good case against him.) All of this is necessary to realistically sell the scenario. Unfortunately they forget to do it much more after this match. The New Age Outlaws are trying to talk the cops out of arresting Chyna. It's to no avail, though, as they stuff her into the squad car and pull away. Two beefy security guys then herd the Outlaws and an out-of-breath X-Pac back into the building. What should happen then but one of them notices Steve Austin sitting nearby in his pickup. "Say, isn't that 'Stone Cold'?" They head over and chew the fat with Austin, asking to look at the .38 caliber pistol he's packing, getting a couple autographs from him, etc. Back inside the arena McMahon is outraged, wondering what kind of security they have here in Milwaukee. McMahon is just lucky he doesn't have the Green Bay Packers watching him because, as we've all seen the last few weeks, they can't offer any kind of defense whatsoever. (*Zing!*) - McMahon is shown chewing out the K-9 cop for not going out and arresting Austin. The cop tells him "screw this!" and walks out. (It should be noted that this cop looked just like infamous security guard Richard Jewell.) And then there was three ... - THE HEAD BANGERS vs. LOD 2000 (w/ Hawk) The Bangers do a parody of the New Age Outlaws intro, whereby one of them copies Road Dog's schtick (substitution "heavy metal music" for "DeGeneration X"); and the other saying "we've got two words for you: 'you suck!'" The duo are sporting plastic toy replicas of the WWF Tag Title belts. Points to the WWF for trying with these guys, but I doubt they're gonna get over. Crap match, which the Head Bangers win when Hawk distracts Darren Drozdov in a manner which I didn't quite catch. Hawk applauds a move Droz does, Droz stops to gawk at Hawk, and he gets rolled up from behind. Whatever. "Tensions", I guess, are developing here. In the back Pat Patterson says he's going to get coffee for himself and Mr. McMahon. Brisco and Slaughter say they'll help him get it. Now Mr. McMahon is all alone. (I'd abandon him too if there was a gun-toting maniac on the loose.) Of course no one has called the cops yet because 1) they don't want to help McMahon and 2) they don't want to cross Austin. (Sure would be nice if Ross and Lawler did a better job of pointing this out.) - There's a knock on the door, and you can see McMahon mentally picking out the flowers for his own funeral. Instead of it being Austin, though, it's Mankind and Sheriff Socko--new head of McMahon's security. Mankind has some candy for McMahon's sweet tooth. This time McMahon is genuinely happy to see Mankind, since that'll be one more body to hide behind when the bullets start flying. Mankind takes a seat and starts digging through his trash bag of goodies. - The Undertaker and Paul Bearer hit the ring to deliver comments. The Taker points out the obvious: that a reconciliation has taken place. He then blathers on and on and somewhere in there I realize he's admitting that he deliberately set the fire which disfigured Kane all those years ago. (This same fire also supposedly killed his parents, but that isn't brought up for some reason.) Out comes Kane with the big wooden coffin and, with the help of his neckrophone, he challenges the Undertaker to a "Casket Match" tonight. Now I'm REALLY glad I skipped the PPV. Talk about screwing the fans. Like a sledgehammer through glass this drives home the point that the Undertaker is now the heel and Kane is the good guy. Other than popping for the announced match the crowd reaction to the Undertaker's "revelation" was as weak as my own. I mean there's a guy outside with a gun for god's sake! Just how much am I supposed to care about an angle like this on a night like this? This is a real step backward for the Undertaker if you ask me. Kane, on the other hand, may go over big-time here, which is fine by me. F*** it if the guy can't wrestle! He looks cool, has that neat electronic voice, and at least works his ass off every time he's out there. (Right there that's at least two things he has over Kevin Nash, that lazy bastard.) - Mankind and McMahon are chomping down candy and chatting like it's a slumber party. Mankind says McMahon should think about re-hiring Austin, and that the four of them would form their own Kliq. "The four of us?" asks McMahon. "You, me, Austin ... and Socko!" replies Mankind. McMahon says this is all about principle. Mankind says he respects McMahon's "moral fortitude", then suggests they play a game. They cut away before we see what he has in the trash bag, which is okay because I'd have been disappointed if it was anything other than a copy of "Mystery Date". - Damn ... it was "Twister", which is a bit tough for McMahon to play, being in a wheelchair and all. McMahon asks Mankind what the hell he thinks he's doing and kicks him out. McMahon is all alone again, except for the cameraman ... and the other people we accidentally see hiding behind a screen of some kind. Oops. - 8:52 PM? Time for ... WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. - STEVE BLACKMAN vs. JEFF JARRETT (w/ Debra McMichael) You all know that I like Blackman's theme music. Well, did you know it actually started out as the theme music for the "Bad Blood" PPV last year? Now you do. Debra, looking like a slightly older version of Sable, and showing a lot more leg and cleavage than when we last saw her, is pretty easy on the eyes and looks 10 times better than her "beauty queen" gimmick in WCW. (Now if only they can keep her away from a microphone.) How a match can only last two minutes and still be boring is beyond me, but this match does it. Jim Ross seizes the opportunity to hype upcoming RAW ticket sale openings. The classy Milwaukee crowd chants for Debra to "show your tits!" Blackman wins via DQ when the Blue Blazer runs in and attacks him. Ross as much as says it's Owen Hart, which leads me to believe that it won't be when he's eventually unmasked. The crowd chants "nugget!" After the match Jarrett joins in on the attack, then retrieves his guitar from under the ring. He's about to smash Blackman, but in comes Al Snow with the Head. The Head, however, catches a look at Debra's gams and pulls up short. Jarrett spots Snow and whacks him with the guitar instead. I can't tell you how underwhelmed I am about all this. The phone rings, startling McMahon. Vince answers, and goes pale when he hears Steve Austin announce "your time's up, you sorry bastard. I'm coming to get you." - McMahon is on the phone with his limo driver, asking him if he sees Austin outside. The driver says no. McMahon decides that this means Austin is in the building. He orders the driver to bring the limo to the rear entrance, have the motor running and rear door open, and to keep watch for Austin as McMahon comes out. What follows is a great continuous shot of McMahon rolling his motorized wheelchair through the back of the arena, trying to make his escape from Austin. The chair moves ever so slooooooow, and any second we expect to see Austin pop up. McMahon finally makes it to the limo and climbs into the back seat ... which is where Austin appears through the door on the driver's side! Austin shoves McMahon out and back into his chair. McMahon tries to escape, but his chair can't roll over a thick bundle of cables blocking the way. Austin gives him a good shove, then tells him to freeze in the glare of the limo's headlights. Austin rolls McMahon back into the arena, telling him all along the way he has something special planned for him. Austin makes sure to crash the chair into everything in the way, and even ends up dumping McMahon at one point. They wind up back at the small room McMahon had been hiding out in. Austin slams the door, keeping the camera out. Oh yeah ... Austin has a bow & arrow ... and his pistol. - Austin, all decked out in camouflage, asks Vince if he's ever been hunting? Vince says he has, but he's never killed anything. All he did was take pictures on a safari. Austin pulls out a knife and asks Vince if he thinks it could kill an elephant? "Answer!" he yells when McMahon is slow to respond. - THE ROCK vs. D-LO BROWN (w/ Mark Henry) The Rock now has really crappy entrance music. Think of the "Sunday Night Heat" theme, with the Rock saying "the Rock says" over and over. A roughly four minute match by the numbers, with the Rock hitting all the requisite spots, and getting the pin, while D-Lo and Mark Henry get revenge with a post-match smack-down. Austin is showing Vince his shiny knife, and asks him how sharp he thinks it is. A quick movement by Austin gets Vince yelping, but "Stone Cold" just grabs an apple from a nearby tray and starts to cutting. "You silly bastard, did you think I was going to cut you?" Austin says he'll get McMahon sometime tonight, but that McMahon won't feel a thing. - Vince is telling Austin that he won't get away with this. "Away with what? I told you I was going hunting. Instead of getting a deer I got a jackass!" Austin starts showing him how a hunting bow works when they cut back to the ring. - Tiger Ali Singh, with Babu, is out to show us how decadent we are. He says we Americans have a terrible diet and yadda yadda yadda, he'll pay someone $500 to eat Babu's kielbasa. A large chested woman, who I'm guessing may be the Kielbasa Queen featured so often by Howard Stern, comes in and deep throats the sausage. Godfather Kama then comes out, says the woman used to be one of his ho's, and demands his cut. (Pimpin' ain't easy, you know.) Singh is outraged because he wanted an amateur, not a pro. Kama says Singh paid her $500 for what he could have gotten all night long for much less. A fight breaks out. A new feud is born. Austin gives McMahon an up close look at the arrow which he's planted in a picture on the wall. Austin then asks McMahon if he's ever seen "Deliverance" and, before long, McMahon is doing his worst Ned Beatty imitation and barking "oink!" like a dog. Even under duress McMahon won't squeal (which has nothing to do, by the way, with his steroids trial). - Our next stop in cinema terror is "Misery". Austin has planted a 2X4 between McMahon's ankles and is interested in seeing if what happened in that movie would really work. Austin covers Vince's mouth with duct tape, straps him into the wheelchair, and heads off in search of a sledgehammer. (This might have been a good time for the S.W.A.T. team to try a rescue.) Lawler exclaims that someone should do something, to which Ross points out how Mankind tried to help but McMahon sent him away. - VAL VENIS (w/ Terri Runnels) vs. MANKIND Very predictable encounter, with Ken Shamrock running out to hit Mankind with a chair, allowing Venis to get the pin. Those two then brawl through the crowd as Val watches the latest bit of video from Goldust up on the Titan-Tron. Terri tries to distract Val by whispering something in his ear, but he seems horrified at the thought of whatever her suggestion is. A three way? Actually since Val is nursing a sore groin I'm guessing she suggested some "oral" medication, if you get my meaning. Austin couldn't find a sledgehammer, which is good since Vince is already blubbering like a baby. Austin repeats his earlier statement that when he "gets" McMahon, it won't hurt. - Now it's time for the old TV show "You Bet Your Life". Austin tells McMahon to pick a winner in the upcoming Kane/Undertaker match. McMahon chooses Kane. Austin says then if Kane wins, they will do things "the easy way". If anything else happens, it'll be "the hard way--'Stone Cold's' way." - THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. KANE The wimpiest "Casket Match" I can ever remember seeing. After a few minutes of fighting both end up in the casket, which is then pretty much trashed as the two fight their way out. (Actually the Undertaker does most of the trashing. Kane just lays at the bottom of the casket.) Paul Bearer decides to make a run for it, with Kane in lukewarm pursuit. The Undertaker follows and delivers a chairshot. Kane recovers, picks up the chair and goes off in search of the now absent Undertaker. The crowd is understandably upset by the lame finish. Austin tells McMahon it's time and starts wheeling him off to his final reward. - Like the Eric Bischoff Nitro segment from last week, Austin and McMahon take forever to get to the ring, forcing Ross and Lawler to fill. They eventually make it to the ring, where Austin chastises McMahon for the little party he threw at the top of the show. Austin has them replay a clip of that on the Titan-Tron. He stuffs a letter of some kind into McMahon's pocket, saying both he and the Devil will be pretty pissed off when they read that. Austin then has the party clip on the screen replaced by a live shot of McMahon. He orders Vince to look up, to watch as his eyes pop out of his head. The crowd gets all scared and quiet, "ohh"-ing as this goes along. Austin asks the crowd to give him a "hell yeah!" if they want to see his eyes pop out. They do, then get quiet again. Jim Ross is softly begging for Steve to not do something he'll regret. Austin draws his pistol, aims it at McMahon's head, and pulls the trigger. ... Out pops a small flag which reads "BANG 3:16". Flash back to earlier, when Austin was talking to the two security guards in the parking lot. Showing his gun to one of them, Austin calls it his "little toy". Talk about a hint. Austin says it wasn't "Stone Cold" who screwed Vince McMahon, but it was Vince McMahon who screwed Vince McMahon. Austin then notices a dark stain spreading across McMahon's trousers, hauls him to his feet and declares "there's gonna be a new t-shirt: 'McMahon 3:16' sez I just pissed my pants!" Austin then gives him not one but two Stone Cold Stunners to top off the humiliating moment. The letter? Tune in next week for that one, folks. - Next week: Motley Crue. Comments: Not quite as volatile as the Brian Pillman gun incident, this was still pretty intense. I'm not sure if I liked it or not. I actually disliked it as it finished playing out on Monday, then found myself enjoying it watching the tape, then flip-flopped into being annoyed by it as I'm writing this. At this exact moment I think I'm somewhere in the middle, feeling that it was mostly okay for what it was, but was disturbed by much of it, and overall really wish that the WWF had done something entirely different this week. Focusing on the small details, like where was the police, is pretty pointless as one would either like this angle or not. You either bought it, or you didn't, and the details (or lack thereof) neither helped nor hurt it. I think my own reaction to it has wavered because each time I viewed it (and I've watched it three times now) how much I've bought into it has changed. The fact that I've watched it more than once, though, pretty much shows how compelling it was. Maybe the details do matter, and those are what has me going all over the map on this. I just don't know. I guess on one hand we had a really tense situation, and on the other the whole thing was supposed to be one big joke. Each time through I saw the merits of either approach, and now the third time through I'm confused, in part because I have yet to see how the WWF is going to treat this in the coming days and weeks. If they just blow it off, I don't think I'll be happy. If they give it a more somber treatment, though, and point out how out of line Austin was, I'll be a bit more okay with it. The rest of the show was pretty much a wash this week. It just seemed like so little happened, with what did go down being done more to kill time as opposed to any kind of constructive build toward the future. Of course we had a lot of development in the many ongoing angles and feuds, but I don't think there was any one thing that couldn't have been missed by the average fan this week. Probably the biggest was the Undertaker's "revelation", but it came off in such an offhand and toned down manner as to be almost totally overlooked. There was also Debra McMichaels' WWF debut, which was really out of the blue and amounted to nothing more than a minor postscript to the entire proceedings. And is anyone else out there choking on Mark Henry, who's being shoved down out collective throats harder than Rocky Maivia when he first debuted? On the plus side there was Mankind, who really saved the show for me. I actually liked most of the first hour, enjoying the whole mood, tone and pace of the show at that time. Things then kind of soured as the second hour came along, and around the time Austin finally abducted McMahon I really lost touch, as things were proceeding far away from the direction I was hoping for. Taking this show together with the results from the PPV, collectively they have me asking more questions of the WWF than actual interest and praise in the latest turn of events. I find myself not being all that fired up about the taped RAW next week. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: "Hollywood" Hogan. Warrior. The impending rematch of their classic WrestleMania VI bout promises to be a memorable one. Not because it'll be good, mind you, but because it may go down as the first main event in pay-per-view history in which the fans will be booing *both* competitors! So who will come away the winner? That's a tough question, though the answer almost definitely seems to be the Warrior. Exactly what will happen, though, is a tougher question. One assumes the Warrior will win since this match is precisely why he came out of retirement. Would the Warrior have come in just to let Hogan beat him? Seems unlikely. On the other hand, will Hogan simply lie down and let the Warrior beat him? In their last encounter, Hogan was careful to make sure that the circumstances were such that he could always claim that he should have won that match. (The referee was knocked out while Hogan had the Warrior covered for the pin.) These days, though, Hogan is careful to do such things, like losing matches, only when he can directly get something out of it. It's in his own best interests to lose, getting something big for himself in the process, rather than to stand by his guns and demand that he win the match. The other player in all this is Eric Bischoff. With the Warrior undoubtedly demanding a win, and Hogan either demanding a win or some huge concession for his losing, which way does he tilt? Bischoff usually does what is best for WCW (or rather, what he *thinks* is best for WCW. Those may not always both be the same). One would have to assume that the Warrior winning would be the best thing for WCW, but that's also if one assumes that the Warrior even has a future with WCW after this match. After all, if the Warrior lost, that would be it for him, wouldn't it? What possible credibility would the guy have after such a loss? Of course these theories assume something approximating a clean finish of one over the other. They could always do a double countout, or double DQ, though to do so would risk terribly negative fan reaction towards both Hogan and the Warrior, as well as WCW itself. I personally see the Warrior winning, with Hogan then getting a win over Goldberg, and his World Title back, as his "fee" for doing the job for the Warrior. I also think the Warrior may well be gone after that match. Here's the entire Halloween Havoc card: * "Hollywood" Hogan vs. the Warrior. * Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page . World Title Match. * Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash. * Bret Hart vs. Sting. U.S. Title Match. * Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner. No Disqualification. * Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. Cruiserweight Title Match. * Juventud Guerrera vs. Disco Inferno. * Meng vs. Wrath. * Fit Finley vs. Chris Jericho. This is WCW's strongest card in ages. Don't know if that means it'll be any good, though. As for a winner this week, I can't say I was high on RAW, but even at it's lowest it didn't make me want to watch Nitro. RAW would *really* have to be bad these days for that to happen. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Week's Winner: RAW. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 153 of the "Monday Night Recap", October 19th, 1998.