Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #147 September 7th/12th, 1998 WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Pensacola, Florida. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - It's Labor Day and Nitro is running solo tonight; which is appropriate, since it's truly a labor to watch all three hours of Nitro. Labor Day celebrates the workers of our country. WCW celebrates their "workers" by having the good ones job to the "name" wrestlers. Frankly, I've been told that "going into labor" can be less painful than watching Nitro ... and it can take less time. Any more jokes I can wring out of this premise? No? Good, let's move on ... - Chaos reigns backstage as the NWO run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Seems that Brian Adams and Scott Norton, two physically impressive individuals--one of which (Norton) is in the midst of a push establishing his invincibility--have both been laid out by an unseen culprit. A large "OWN" Bat Signal painted on the wall lends a clue as to who the perpetrator is. As an ambulance hauls Norton and Adams away "Hollywood" Hogan marshals his troops. After a quick jaunt to the ring he calls the Warrior all manner of "G" rated names. Then, switching horses in midstream, says that he's dumped Bret Hart from the NWO's Wargames team, replacing him with the Giant. Shucks ... guess we won't get to see that Giant/Meng match that Mark Madden announced on the WCW Hotline last week. Nice role model, the Warrior: attacking people in the back ... sending them to the hospital ... - Opening. Hype. This show is the third anniversary of the birth of Nitro, marking the beginning of the shows fourth year. Happy birthday, you magnificent bastard, you. - KONAN vs. BULL PAIN Total squash, except for Pain getting off a fat Frog Splash from the top. Why bother? Konan with the Tequila Sunrise. The crowd was totally behind Konan ... when they could be bothered to pay attention, that is. During the match the announcers shamelessly drop Mark McGwire's name, claiming that WCW Champ Goldberg is responsible for all of his home runs. - Clips from last week's show. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund, having apparently survived his brush with high school students last week, is on hand to interview J.J. Dillon. Dillon says neither Hogan nor Eric Bischoff have the power to pull Bret Hart from the Wargames match. Why not?! Bischoff runs WCW, doesn't he? I'm not talking real life here, I just mean in terms of WCW's various, convoluted storylines. Doesn't Bischoff come out every week and, most recently in particular, brag about the power his "mighty pen" wields? He does call the shots, right? If Bischoff and Hogan can't pull him out, how could they put him in in the first place? Dillon says it was "Hollywood" and Bischoff who signed the contracts for the match. Why would the signers of any contract be precluded from making any changes to it? Is it because Hart is really a WCW wrestler and not under NWO contract? Is it because Dillon, as a representative of WCW, isn't willing to allow the match contract to be amended? Is it because Bischoff really has no power, RENDERING EVERY ANGLE HE'S INVOLVED IN MOOT!!! TELL ME WHAT THE DAMNED RULES ARE HERE SO I CAN PLAY ALONG!!!!! Now I'm sure someone like Mark Madden would tell me "just repeat to yourself 'it's just a show. I should really just relax.'" Hearing that, though, makes me think of a guy and two robots silhouetted at the bottom of the screen, making fun of the show. If WCW really wants me to watch their show in that frame of mind, I'm more than glad to oblige. - Nitro Girls. Even at this point in the show I'd swear they've already been out eight or nine times. I even have to sit through a special video telling me all of their names. Hey ... I was able to ignore the Spice Girls for a year before I learned all their nicknames (by osmosis--I still don't know their real names. Three of them are named "Mel", right?); so don't expect me to pick up the Nitro Girls' nicknames anytime soon. - "Mean" Gene interviews Diamond Dallas Page. On the subject of joining the Wolfpac, DDP borrows a page from the Warrior's playbook and takes five minutes to say "no"--though he never really even gets a chance to come right out and say it. Kevin Nash of the Wolfpac comes out and the two trade barbs. (Nash: "You've been asked to be part of the elitest group in professional wrestling history!" DDP: "Whatever!") Sting and Lex Luger put in an appearance to vouch for Nash, indicating that they trust him. Luger and Sting act really heel-ish by jabbing at him for his Karl Malone and Jay Leno matches. Sting says he's "bailed out" DDP in the past. What assholes! DDP tries to plead his case that Nash can't be trusted, asking Luger if he's afraid that Nash might powerbomb him. Sting grabs the mic and says that he's been powerbombed by Nash once or twice, so he trusts the man. (Huh? Read that again and decide for yourselves if it makes any sense.) The upshot of all this is that DDP promises to get Roddy Piper and they'll face two Wolfpac members in a tag team match later tonight. Man, Sting really comes off as a jerk here, while Luger--now sporting a scraggly, dark, evil beard, looks like a heel turn waiting to happen. - "Mean" Gene interviews "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. It seems Piper is upset that DDP did any talking for him, something DDP himself said no one can do in the previous interview. Summarizing, Piper's comments go something like this: "Blah, blah ... no teams in the Wargames ... blah, blah ... every man for himself ... blah, blah ... I'll be DDP's partner tonight." There's now so much tension in this upcoming Wargames match that I don't want ANYBODY to win it. - LENNY LANE vs. WRATH Total squash win by Wrath. It's to the backstage area again, where the mystery intruder has now strung the Disciple up by his feet, leaving him hanging like a side of beef. An electric fan nearby provides the Disciple with comfort until the time came for them to show this. More "OWN" graffitti on the wall. - Bret Hart makes his way out, followed by Stevie Ray and other NWO members. Is this a match ... NWO meeting ... gang beating? The situation finally makes sense when Sting comes out with a baseball bat. The NWO scatter as Sting pokes Hart in the chest with the bat. He then hands it to him and turns his back. Hart passes up the free shot and drops the bat. WCW is trying oh-so-hard to make Hart a babyface again. The fans might buy it if Hart can stop being his asshole self for five minutes. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - They do one of those "up close and personal" interviews with Rick Steiner. - EVAN KARAGIAS vs. SCOTT STEINER Why are they spelling "Kourageous" as "Karagias"? (I guess they did it last week too. Is this frustration over the fact that most WCW fans don't get the joke with "Hugh Morrus'" name?) Scott slaps on the Steiner recliner for the squash win as Buff Bagwell menaces the announcers with his pointless color commentary. Better than another silly skit in the ring, I guess. - Nitro Girls. Nitro Party Video. - JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. HECTOR GARZA Garza is just returning from a serious knee injury, and as such does little in this match. Garza's theme music is that corny "wild west" music WCW has been using since the 80's (featured prominently on the 10th "Clash of the Champions" show in 1990). The match itself focuses mostly on mat wrestling, with Guerrera doing most of the high risk stuff. The two blow a couple of moves, including a huracanrana attempt off the top. Guerrera wins with the Juvi Driver. Sub-par cruiserweight match. - "Mean" Gene interviews Curt Hennig and Rick Rude. I should mention that it was here in Pensacola that the NWO did their infamous Four Horsemen parody. Schiavone mentions this repeatedly. I guess we're all supposed to just forget that Kevin Nash was responsible for that (admittedly hilarious) atrocity. we can all trust him now. Sting even says so. In this pointless interview Hennig reiterates all the anti-Horseman stuff he's said in the last two weeks. - ERNEST "THE CAT" MILLER vs. "KENNY" KAOS I'd make a South Park Kenny reference here, but that's gotten old. Kaos is the less talented half or High Voltage. Miller wins. He challenges anyone in WCW to come out, but no one does. I can't believe they're going to all this effort for what will surely result in Goldberg coming out some night and kicking his ass. - STEVIE RAY (w/ Vincent)vs. CHRIS ADAMS Stevie has a new pair of butt-ugly black-and-white NWO tights. He wins this equally butt-ugly match with the Slapjack. - RIGGS (w/ RAVEN & Kanyon) vs. SATURN(w/ Lodi) Kanyon is the scheduled opponent, but Raven makes Lodi make Saturn wrestle the match. After a lengthy encounter, (which I didn't even bother to watch--screw you WCW), Saturn wins with the Death Valley Driver. Raven then orders Saturn to break Riggs' fingers. Saturn refuses (pretty much trashing his whole "integrity" thing). Raven gives him an out by telling him to break Riggs' fingers, or let him (Raven) break his (Saturn's). Saturn picks the latter, so Raven "breaks" his fingers. Saturn refuses medical help afterward. What a big, steamin' load! HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - CHRIS JERICHO vs. JIM "THE ANVIL" NIEDHART Oh great ... we don't even get a good Jericho match this week! Ugly match, which Jericho wins via referee decision. See, Jericho gets Niedhart in the Lion Tamer. Niedhart won't submit, though. Jericho releases the hold, reapplies it, then joins us all in being puzzled when the ref stops the match. Niedhart has apparently submitted, even though he made no such signal, was two inches from grabbing the ropes, and was selling no pain whatsoever in the move. The bell rings several seconds later. Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd say the Anvil got SCREWED! - Eddie Guerrero does another "shoot" speech, claiming an injury prevents him from wrestling tonight. Man, this angle has done great things for Eddie's workrate. I'm so glad he's been given the opportunity to shine by NOT wrestling. Total silence from the crowd, except for a couple cries of "bo-ring!" - DEAN MALENKO vs. CURT HENNIG (w/ Rick Rude) This is the cage match set up last Thursday on Thunder. It's the tiny cage with a roof on it, which looks like a sawed-off version of the WWF's "Hell in a Cell". Less-than-stellar match, with Hennig getting in most of the offense. Both men wrestle really slooooow. Malenko starts selling an arm injury early on, and Hennig focuses on that. Rick Rude is shown disassembling one of the cage wall joints, but the announcers ignore it for the longest time, and it never amounts to anything. The match drags on, coming to a climax when the ref is knocked out by Malenko's feet, as Dean is being scooped up for a slam. This allows Eric Bischoff to run out and unlock the cage door. Malenko applies the Texas Cloverleaf, which would most assuredly have garnered him the win. Rude enters and beats on Malenko, stopping just long enough to punk out the ref as well. Stevie Ray joins in on the fun. Malenko is dragged over to the cage door, his head about to be slammed the same way Ric Flair's was a year ago by Hennig. Fans watch the entryway, vainly hoping for Flair to run out and make the save. Arn Anderson barrels out instead! Hennig is laid out with a double axehandle shot! Arn enters the cage and whips off his shirt! Stevie charges in, but Arn sidesteps and slams him into the cage! The NWO flee as Arn and Dean stand tall! Don't get me wrong: I still hate the idea of a Horsemen reunion, but this was a great moment taken on its own merits. The realization that just this little bit held risks for Arn, and might mean him laid up for the next few days popping Advils ... well, he has my respect for that. - GOLDBERG vs. SCOTT PUTSKI Win #141. - STING/LEX LUGER vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE/"ROWDY" RODDY PIPER A somewhat intense match for the few minutes it lasts. Piper tries to fire DDP up by yelling "it's war!" Kevin Nash then runs in and posts Piper, then Jackknifes DDP. Oh yeah ... you can trust him! The end. Wait ... Schiavone says there's more to come, even though it's only two minutes until the top of the hour. They return from the break, and fans ... let me tell you that WCW really goes off the deep end here. It goes something like this: Hogan--carrying a chair--and the Giant come to the ring to call out the Warrior. Hogan says if the Warrior can beat the Giant then they'll let him fight in the Wargames match. (As if they could keep him out--Hogan and Bischoff have no power, remember? WCW just said this earlier in the show!) Hogan says they'll do it in the cage, which lowers around them. Smoke suddenly fills the ring. When it clears the Giant has been laid out, (conveniently covering up the spot where the trapdoor is), and the Warrior is sitting on a chair of his own. He and Hogan begin to circle. Bischoff runs to the cage with a chain and padlock. The Warrior takes off his coat, drawing a pop by showing that he still has muscles. He takes a chairshot at Hogan, but misses, hitting the turnbuckles instead. Hogan swings and nails the Warrior, but it has no effect. He shakes the ropes (otherwise the fans would have been pissed, not seeing their favorite thing about the Warrior and all). Hogan slips out of the cage and he and Bischoff lock the door shut. The Warrior just stands there as they taunt him, saying they've caged him like the freak he is (their words--not mine). The smoke rises again and once it's cleared we see he's vanished. The Giant is still out, having not moved an inch (except to move off the trapdoor while the smoke was up). Hogan nearly pisses himself as Schiavone exclaims "we're outta time ... see you on Thunder!" - This Thursday: Nothing announced, but it will be live. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: There were three main elements to this week's show: the matches, Arn Anderson, and everything else. In order ... Even by WCW fan standards these were some weak matches. The cage match had a memorable finish, but it wasn't that great getting there. The Juventud Guerrera match was so-so, as was the main event. I suppose some may have liked the Saturn/Riggs match. Four or five of the matches were squashes, not really good or bad, just uneventful. The other few matches were pretty bad (read: Stevie Ray vs. Chris Adams). I liked the Anderson appearance, but beyond that I'm not going to gush one bit about the Horsemen reunion, which seems etched in stone at this point. The rest of the show was almost scary it was so bad. The Warrior stuff in particular has rivaled and surpassed other equally hokey angles done in the WWF. It's stuff liked this which helped to nearly kill off the WWF in the early 90's. WCW's newfound audience may like it now (and I even have my doubts about that statement), but they'll tire of it soon, and a few years from now fans will look back upon it with scorn and anger. Hell, booking like this nearly killed WCW itself back in 1995. Remember "Taskmaster" Sullivan and his spooky "master" hidden in that cave? The Dungeon of Doom? Renegade? The Giant falling off the roof of Cobo Hall and coming back to life? THE YETI!?! WCW was on track to a slow, painful death, until someone at TNT came up with the idea for Nitro. The Warrior angle completely overshadowed the show this week. What is the card for Fall Brawl? All I've been able to figure out are: * Wargames. * Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner. * Saturn vs. Raven. And ... ? WCW has announced a few other matches on their hotline, but NONE of them were mentioned on Nitro (that I heard, anyway). Have they mentioned any on WCW Saturday Night? (You all know I don't watch that show.) I'm almost curious to see Thunder this week, just to see how many matches they try to cram into the card at the last minute. I think Konan is supposed to get a TV Title shot from Jericho. Juventud Guerrera might be defending his belt against Kaz Hayashi. Dumping nine guys into the main event sure depletes the star talent pool for other matches. Is Bret Hart wrestling? What about Goldberg? The set-up and hype for this PPV has been a joke. The whole selling point of this card is that nine guys are merely competing for a TITLE SHOT at a FUTURE PPV! Ask ten fans and nine will probably tell you that that's what the TV shows are for! If the Warrior weren't there fans would already be calling this the worst PPV of the year. Even with him being there we all know that he and Hogan won't go at it, as that fight is being saved for a future PPV. I'm assuming Nash will get the win, since nothing else even makes sense given the current booking. Piper? Stevie Ray? Lex Luger? Hogan and Bret Hart are the only two guys beside Nash who even have a serious shot at it, and it makes sense that Hogan and Hart are now splitting up if Nash is going to be the one to win it. They can fight next month (or later), while Nash goes on to NOT beat Goldberg for the title. Maybe the Warrior will win, but that's one booking direction that I'll come right out and say sucks! Aww ... what's the point of even speculating? WCW is like a big box of toy men, and they're all interchangeable. WCW has endless main event possibilities and that one big plus is also their biggest minus, as none of the matches mean anything given the way WCW does them. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Not on--preempted by the U.S. Open. Comments: Another special installment of RAW will air this Saturday night at 7:00 PM (Eastern). The RAW portion of the Recap should be sent out, as well as available on the website, early Sunday morning. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF Saturday Night RAW (September 12th): Live/Taped: Taped 9/1. Length: Two Hours. Location: Lowell, Massachusetts. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - An unusual configuration for the arena this week. In addition to the new solid black ring barriers, the Titran-Tron and ramp are missing. Instead there is an archway, with a small video screen atop it, at the head of a curved pathway leading to the ring. - "DON'T PISS ME OFF" JEFF JARRETT vs. EDGE A good match for what it was, but the early arrival of Southern Justice at ringside tipped off what direction the finish would take. Sure enough, just when things get bad for Jarrett, one of his bodyguards slides in a guitar, which Jarrett smashes over Edge's head. Edge wins by DQ. - BRADSHAW vs. DARREN DROZDOV Droz is wrestling with a torn bicep muscle. He gives it all he has, but Bradshaw steals the pin with his feet on the ropes for leverage. - They show a lengthy video highlighting the Austin/Undertaker/Kane feud. - MARC MERO (w/ Jacqueline) vs. MIGUEL PEREZ Perez has shaved his back, which is a cosmetic improvement, but it hasn't seemed to improve his workrate. I'll admit that I spent most of this match looking at Jacqueline's bulging chest. Mero wins with the TKO. In the back Michael Cole gets comments from Luna and the Insane Clown Posse. The Oddities, meanwhile, play a game of "who cut the cheese?" in the background. - THE ODDITIES (w/ Luna & the ICP) vs. THE DISCIPLES OF APOCALYPSE While the ICP and the Oddities are holding a house party in the ring, Cole gets comments in the back from Paul Ellering and the DOA. This is moderately funny until the bell rings. We then get some sorry wrestling until Golga breaks the top rope. They go at it a bit longer, but the match ends when the ICP run in to help their friends. The two clowns get pretty well worked over before the DOA roar off on their bikes. WWF War Zone Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. - The Rock comes out and cuts an interview, commenting on Triple H beating him for the belt, as well as Kane and the Undertaker sticking their noses in his business. He promises to lay the smack-down on Kane sometime in the near future. A smattering of boo's aside, the Rock was really over as a face with a good chunk of the crowd. - They show the Ken Shamrock/Owen Hart "Lion's Den" match from SummerSlam. Thanks WWF for making me pay $30 to see this live, only to see it pop up on free TV a few weeks later. I realize the show needed padding because of the time it took to fix the ring ropes, but did this have to be it? - TOO MUCH vs. SOUTHERN JUSTICE Ugh! The fat guys win. - VADER vs. DUSTIN RUNNELS Vader does that pee-pee dance of his when he comes out. The match then gets underway, with an appearance by Val Venis in the crowd over- shadowing the in-ring action. Val is carrying a sign reading "I HAVE COME!" This distracts Dustin enough to allow Vader to hit the Vaderbomb for the win. A Dustin/Val feud seems a lock, with Dustin's whole "He is coming back!" angle seemingly pointing to a return by Goldust. That's my take on it, anyway. - As a special treat they show us footage of Sable in action from her two matches at WrestleMania and SummerSlam. This didn't amount to much, so I'm not as upset about wasting my hard earned money. - Al Snow--with Head--hits the ring. He demands that a WWF official come out. Commissioner Slaughter, Jerry Brisco and Pat Patterson oblige him. Snow play a bit of a game show with them, asking them who he is supposed to wrestle now that he's back in the WWF. They instead tell him to get the hell out of the ring. Snow tells them that's the wrong answer and gives Patterson a shot to the gonads as a parting gift. Pat writhes in pain in the ring as Snow escapes through the crowd. - D-LO BROWN/MARK HENRY vs. THE HEAD BANGERS The Head Bangers do a funny interview in the back, claiming this is really Shotgun Saturday Night instead of RAW, because they're never on RAW. "See, there goes Kevin Kelly!" An okay match, but only when Henry isn't in the ring. Henry and D-Lo win by DQ when Chyna runs in to attack Henry. The match really went too long for this kind of finish. - DEGENERATION X (w/ Chyna) vs. KAI EN TAI (w/ Yamaguchi-San) Don't ask me why "Kaientai" is now "Kai En Tai". A good match, with D-X's size advantage being neutralized by many double team maneuvers. One nice spot sees all four members drop an elbow on Road Dog in rapid succession. Watching for someone to run in, I'm pleasantly surprised when D-X instead gets a clean pin, with X-Pac pinning Taka Michinoku following a Split-legged Facebuster. After the match Triple H talks a girl at ringside into dropping her pants, flashing her butt (which was covered by the censor's D-X logo). - Next week: RAW returns live this Monday. Comments: This week we got the good matches, whereas last week it was the angles. Taken together they make two okay shows, but separately they were respectively bad and dull. Eliminating the screwy finishes made for a more solid show, but one that was also just a bit dull for the most part because of the lack of real sizzle to it. It wasn't bad, and I liked it much more than last week's show, but I didn't come away really fired up either. It did do well to set up Heat, though, as well as the live show on Monday. I'm just glad I didn't watch either Live Wire or Superstars this weekend, otherwise I'd have gotten really burned out on the WWF (and Heat is still yet to air as I write this). I actually felt better about this show, waiting nearly two weeks, than I did about last week's show, which I had to wait five days to see. There were some things of note this week, though. The little interviews they did were a nice way to add a touch of "oomph" to their matches. The Al Snow bit continues to rehabilitate the damage the WWF has already done to him. The Shamrock match, as cheap a tactic it was, did still help in their overall goal of putting Shamrock over as a contender for Austin. I'm still surprised how few matches have been announced for the "Breakdown" PPV, which happens in two weeks. All we really know is the "Triple Threat" match between Steve Austin, Kane and the Undertaker for the title. There's only two RAW's and two Heat's to go, with only one of those four shows being live, before the PPV. No word yet if the Heat the Sunday of the PPV will be live or not. the WWF is going to have to work hard to make this not seem as slapped together as WCW's Fall Brawl card. Some random things I left out above: Hawk phoned into Heat last week to announce that he's entering rehab ... Kane faces D-Lo on Heat tonight ... Shamrock faces Vader, which will set up a match between he and Steve Austin on the live RAW tomorrow night. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: I Hope USA enjoys the fact that they've lost two-thirds of their Monday night audience because of this tennis nonsense. Yeah, I know U.S. Open sponsors pay lots more money for the ad time, but that's for the whole tournament. Their revenue for the two Monday nights can't be that much greater when broken down. So who won this week? I'm giving the nod to RAW, though it's really just as much a toss up as it was last week. Thunder was really the best show of the week, but you know how it is ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Week's Winner: RAW. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 147 of the "Monday Night Recap", September 7th/12th, 1998.