Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #138
July 6th, 1998
WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours.
Location: Atlanta, Georgia.
HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.
- J.J. Dillon's announcement from Thunder is replayed: "Hollywood" Hogan
must defend the World Title against Goldberg, the number one contender.
Tonight. Huge crowd in the Georgia Dome. Schiavone has on a tuxedo,
while Tenay and Zbyszko are dressed in suits. Schiavone, in the opening
hype segment, declares this "the Greatest Night in Wrestling Ever!", or
several variations thereof. As happened last Thursday, they have a hard
time hyping this show without downgrading this Sunday's PPV.
- Nitro Girls.
- "Hollywood" Hogan comes to the ring, along with the Disciple, Eric
Bischoff and Elizabeth. Always one to ruin a party, Hogan announces that
he won't be facing Goldberg tonight. Instead, Goldberg will face another
NWO member, whom Hogan says has been off TV for some time now. Hogan
leaves the door open for a match by saying he'll face Goldberg if he
somehow manages to beat his NWO mystery opponent.
- "Mean" Gene talks to a guy from Valvoline ... or something. They're
giving away a car ... or something.
- DEAN MALENKO vs. BOOKER T.
A total mismatch in size (and to a lesser extent, ability). Booker
tosses Malenko around like a toy. He goes for the missile drop-kick, but
Malenko sidesteps it. He then tries to slap on the Texas Cloverleaf, but
Booker flips Dean over with his legs. From there it's pretty much back-
and-forth, with the match being extended because each man keeps missing
moves, allowing the other to come back. Both men wind up on the floor,
which is the cue for Chris Jericho to come out. Jericho, over the house
mic, tells Malenko he's going to settle things between them tonight.
Malenko is momentarily distracted, which sets him up to fall victim to a
guillotine leg kick from Booker as he reenters the ring. Booker gets
the pin. A so-so match which I would have liked better if I had thought
there was any way in hell Malenko could have won it. (Booker T. being a
foot taller than Malenko didn't help matters.)
Goldberg is shown in the back getting warmed up for his match. The last
time WCW did this (the only time in their history that they've ever done
it, that I can remember), Goldberg beat Raven for the U.S. Title.
- Karl Malone delivers comments about Dennis Rodman in a pretaped clip.
- KANYON vs. RAVEN
This is a "Raven's Rules" match. That's apparently supposed to mean "no
DQ". Kanyon does a number of his usual moves, which are supposed to be
"innovative" (even though we've now seen them several times). Kanyon
drops Raven on a chair out of a Fireman's Carry. He then throws the
chair at Raven, which mostly misses him. Raven reaches over and puts the
chair on his own face, to which Schiavone exclaims that the chair stayed
on Raven's face. Awful. Kanyon then goes up top, but Lodi pushes him.
Raven pops up and suplexes Kanyon off the turnbuckles. Saturn then runs
in, attacking Raven. The ref calls for the bell, presumably DQ'ing
Kanyon. Lodi comes in, but Saturn suplexes him. Kanyon tries to pull
Saturn off Raven, but Saturn nails him with a Death Valley Driver, not
bothering to see who it is. He then goes to the floor and pulls a table
out from underneath the ring. He tries to put Raven through it with a
dive off the top, but the table doesn't break. Kanyon then drops Saturn
with the Flatliner, which as I've described before can't possibly hurt
the person it's being applied to. At roughly four minutes in total what
started as a PPV caliber match (on paper) ended up as ... nothing. (The
crowd ate it up, though.)
They cut to a limo pulling up in the parking lot. There we see the sad
spectacle of Buff Bagwell, in a neck brace, being loaded into a
wheelchair. A group of kids have been rounded up to yell encouraging
things to Buff as he's wheeled in. Buff, in reply, gives a weak thumbs
up and "V" for victory.
- Nitro Girls. Thunder will be on Wednesday this week. They hype the Nitro
Party Videos. Next they show a video package recapping Karl Malone's
Thunder appearance.
- "Mean" Gene interviews Diamond Dallas Page and Malone in the ring.
Typical connect-the-dots interview, ending with "BANG!" Malone says he's
going to whip Rodzilla like Madonna should have. How do we know that she
didn't?
- They replay--in full--the Steve "Mongo" McMichael interview from
Thunder--INCLUDING the comments from Mike Ditka.
- SCOTT PUTSKI vs. RIGGS
Ugh. Putski has all the looks and skills to be a major star ... assuming
your model for a "major star" is Lex Luger. He nails Riggs with the
Polish Hammer, then finishes him off with a split-legged powerbomb.
Goldberg is in the back slamming his head against a locker and making
funny faces. I'm sure I'd makes funny faces too if I slammed my head
against a locker. Could this walking groin pull be the next World
Heavyweight Champion? We shall see.
HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko.
- Coming back from the break they show a clip of Goldberg's first win. My
local cable company, thinking it's just a TNT commercial, mistakenly
plays a local ad over it. By the time they cut back to the show Scott
Hall has already exited from a black limo. The rest of the NWO are there
to greet him.
- Chris Jericho comes out to talk about Rey Mysterio, Jr., who "beat" him
on Thunder last week. J.J. Dillon enters the ring to cut him off, saying
that won't fly and that Jericho must still face Dean Malenko at the PPV.
Malenko then comes out. Dillon warns him that if either he or Jericho
touch each other, the match at the PPV will be scrapped. Jericho taunts
Malenko with comments about his family. Dillon warns Jericho that if he
doesn't stop the match Sunday will be "no DQ". Jericho goes on, accusing
Malenko's father of being unfaithful while he was wrestling on the road.
Malenko slugs him. According to Dillon's rules, the match that now won't
take place this Sunday will be "no DQ". What? Hopefully they'll remember
to sort this all out on Wednesday. By the way, I'm sure I'm not the only
one asking "where's Rey Mysterio?" during all this.
- CHRIS JERICHO vs. ULTIMO DRAGON
Dillon had moments earlier said this match would still take place. I
wasn't aware that it had been scheduled in the first place, much less
that there was doubt about it happening. Comments by the announcers
indicate that Malenko lost his title shot this Sunday because he hit
Jericho. The match here, while good for what it was, doesn't deliver
much as just a minute or two in Malenko comes back out to beat on
Jericho. Security has to pull Malenko off, who comes away with a couple
handfuls of Jericho's hair. I guess we'll find out this Wednesday if
Malenko, Ultimo Dragon or the real Mysterio gets the Cruiserweight Title
shot at the PPV. After the break they show Malenko being handcuffed by
the police, with Schiavone saying Malenko is definitely out of the PPV.
- Bobby Heenan joins the announcing crew.
- Johnny Swinger comes out tells the crowd that he's Johnny Swinger.
- JOHNNY SWINGER vs. CHAVO GUERRERO, JR.
Guerrero has a pair of scissors and a workman's hard-hat. He tries to
wrestle the match with it on, but the ref makes him take it off. He then
spends the first minute of the match wresting with one hand on his head
covering the spot where Eddie Guerrero cut a chunk of his hair out.
Early in the match Schiavone announces that the attendance is 39,919.
Chavo goes on to beat Swinger a minute later, pinning him after a
Tornado DDT. Chavo trims a bit of Swinger's hair off with the scissors.
He then challenges Eddie Guerrero to a "Hair vs. Hair" match.
Leading to the break they recap win #25 by Goldberg.
- Goldberg's been working out for more than 90 minutes now ... just like
the night he beat Raven. Can that really be a title change I smell in
the air?
- DISCO INFERNO/ALEX WRIGHT vs. PUBLIC ENEMY
As Disco and Wright are dancing in the ring they are joined by Tokoyo
Magnum, who tears his pants off and joins in. There is just something so
fundamentally wrong here, but I can't put it into words. The P.E. come
out wearing some butt-ugly Atlanta Braves jerseys. The entire (bad)
match leads up to a double table spot. Wright is set on the table, but
Magnum pulls him off. Wright and Disco then run away, leaving Magnum
behind. The P.E. put him up on the tables and Rocco Rocks drives him
through. Even though the match should have been stopped by now--by
countout if nothing else--Wright and Disco come back with a garbage can.
They earn a DQ laying the P.E. out.
- "Mean" Gene brings out Buff Bagwell and his Mom. Bobby Heenan asks if
that's his date. Bagwell gives an inspirational speech about his road to
recovery. He confirms that he was the surprise guest that Scott Steiner
and Eric Bischoff had talked about last week, but that he has split ways
from Scotty while he makes his recovery.
I've got to be honest here: while I'm just as happy as the next guy to
see Bagwell is getting better, I thought it was in really poor taste to
bring him out here. If Bagwell was really anxious to do it, and thought
it would help his recovery, then fine. Otherwise it's hard to justify
this when it's more about grabbing ratings than really giving the man
his due. At least WCW had the sense to drop the whole stupid "NWO Late
Night" gimmick--for one week anyway--and not bring him out that way.
Going into the break they recap win #50 by Goldberg.
HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- SCOTT HALL vs. GOLDBERG
Mike Tenay points out that Hall is still wearing some red-and-black on
his elbow pads and tights. Hmmmm.
The two lock up. Goldberg shoves Hall to the mat. Another lock up and
Hall works over Goldberg's arm and shoulder. Goldberg takes him down
awkwardly to the mat. Back up Hall lays in some chops. He whips Goldberg
to the ropes, but Goldberg reverses it. The two screw up whatever was
supposed to follow, run into each other, and fall to the mat. Whatever
this match is, it won't be pretty. Back up again the two taunt and slap
each other. Hall kicks him in the gut and tries to do a bodyslam, but
Goldberg won't go up. He slams Hall instead. Hall spits on him. The two
lock up again, with Goldberg again shoving Hall to the mat. This is
starting to look like the match that got Steven Regal fired, which may
well be the intention. Hall gets back up and is shoved back down again.
He gets up again and lays in a kick. He follows with some punches.
Goldberg whips him into the corner and charges. Hall moves. Goldberg
hits the corner pads hard, but doesn't really sell it (having not sold
much of anything up to this point). Hall clotheslines him from behind,
then side suplexes him. Hall covers for a one count. Hall lays in a
series of kicks and punches to the head, which Goldberg shrugs off as
the crowd starts chanting his name louder and louder. Goldberg does a
trio of armdrags. Hall drops to the floor and waves to the back for
help.
Out comes several NWO members, but they are immediately cut down by DDP
and Karl Malone swinging chairs.
Goldberg, meanwhile, drags Hall back in by his hair. Hall drops down,
dropping Goldberg across the ropes. Hall then catches him with a
clothesline. He sets him up for the Outsider's Edge (or whatever he now
calls it), but Goldberg escapes by back dropping Hall halfway across the
ring. Hall comes up staggering like a drunk (something I hear he's good
at). Goldberg nails the spear and finishes him off with the Jackhammer.
Win #107.
By no means a good match, but easily the most entertaining of his I've
seen yet. I don't want to contribute to all the "Hall trying to get
fired" rumors, but it looked here like he was being a bit less than
cooperative through part of the match. Much like Regal, who supposedly
got fired for what he did, he went to the planned finish, he just wasn't
to cooperative en route to getting there. It's more likely, though, that
Hall was just rusty and that added to Goldberg's inexperience is what
made the match look so rough around the edges.
- The Nitro Girls dance around the announcer's desk. Heenan is almost
hypnotized by all the jiggling.
- PSYCHOSIS vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA
A nice, but blistering fast and short match. Three minutes tops. Juvi
wins with the 450 Splash. The Flock then runs in to beat up Guerrera (as
well as Psychosis, who tries to help Juvi). Schiavone is in such a hurry
to set up the next Goldberg clip (win #75) that he barely mentions the
brutal gang beating going on in the ring.
- WCW's got another one of those Internet pay-per-listen things coming up
this Friday. These things never amount to anything, so I'm not going to
bother writing about it. Check out their website yourself if you're
interested. This is followed by a lengthy PPV promo. They have to show
these things to hype the PPV since Dennis Rodman apparently can't be
bothered to actually show up and hype the show in person.
- "HACKSAW" JIM DUGGAN vs. THE GIANT
And to think I was actually enjoying the third hour this week. Duggan
gets in his share of offense, but falls victim to the chokeslam. The
Giant then talks about Kevin Greene, challenging him to come out. (Those
cigarettes must have been taking their toll on the Giant as he was
horribly out of breath at this point.) Greene comes out and spits on the
Giant. The Giant charges, but Greene ducks, then clotheslines him over
the top rope.
Quick pretaped comments from Malone lead to the break.
- JIM NIEDHART vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (w/ Karl Malone)
If WCW isn't going to spell the Anvil's name right them neither am I. A
little offense from Niedhart isn't enough to save him from a Diamond
Cutter.
- A clip of Goldberg's 100th win is shown. (Well, not his real 100th, but
the one WCW claimed was his 100th.)
- Kevin Nash, Sting, Lex Luger and Konnan of the Wolfpac come out.
- STING/LEX LUGER vs. KIDMAN/SICK BOY
Squash. Sick Boy submits to Luger's Torture Rack in less than a minute.
- The camera follows Goldberg through the back as he makes his way to the
ring. He's accompanied by security--presumably to keep the NWO from
attacking him. This type of shot, almost totally foreign to WCW, is very
familiar to those who watch Japanese wrestling ... and the WWF.
- GOLDBERG vs. "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN
Very slow match in the opening minutes. The two trade long headlocks.
Lots of stalling by Hogan. A test of strength sends Hogan to his knees.
Hogan then gets in a string of punches, eye gouges and raking his nails
across Goldberg's back. He pulls off his weight belt and whips him.
While taunting the crowd Goldberg comes up with the belt and throws it
away. It's quickly clear that little Hogan can do will hurt Goldberg.
The match switches into its second phase with Hogan going for an armbar.
Goldberg reverses it into a full nelson. Hogan escapes with a low mule
kick. He follows with a clothesline, then a choke down on the mat. He
tries an elbowdrop but Goldberg moves out of the way. Hogan tries again
and misses again. Goldberg comes up with a clothesline, sending Hogan to
the floor. Hogan puts his weight belt back on while catching his breath.
Back in the ring the two lock up. Hogan drives him into the corner,
laying in a few shots with his knee. He sends Goldberg to the floor.
There he throws him into the rail, then nails him with a chair several
times. The referee lets it all go. Back in the ring Hogan drops a pair
of legdrops.
Out comes Curt Hennig, as many would have expected. Following a ways
behind is DDP and Malone. As Goldberg kicks out of the pin attempt
Malone grabs Hennig and lays him out with a Diamond Cutter! Hogan,
seeing his backup plan go out the window, turns back to the center of
the ring, only to be met with a spear to the gut by Goldberg. Goldberg
then hoists Hogan up, Jackhammers him down, and covers for the three
count! Goldberg, 31 years old and only 10 moths in the sport, wins the
WCW World Heavyweight Title!!!
- This Thursday: Thunder is on Wednesday this week.
- Next week: Nothing announced.
Comments:
The question now is how long will he keep it? With Thunder coming up on
Wednesday, the PPV this weekend and Nitro next week, there's plenty of
opportunities for Hogan to quickly win it back. Of the two matches tonight
the first was probably the better one from a "technical" standpoint, though
the second was far more entertaining and emotionally satisfying. Coming
into the show I didn't give Goldberg any chance to win, though as the show
progressed that possibility seemed stronger and stronger. By the time he
beat Hall it seemed a foregone conclusion, but I still had a hard time
believing it as I saw it. It still hasn't sunk in, though much of that is
because 1) it's hard to attach too much meaning to it, and 2) the sense
that Hogan will probably win it back real quick. Both Luger and Sting beat
Hogan for the Title in the last year and in both cases Hogan had the belt
back within days. I'd really hate to see WCW cheapen this by giving Hogan
the belt back too soon, especially this Wednesday.
This clearly moves Goldberg into the second phase of his career. Should he
keep the belt for a while will WCW have him wrestle regularly? Will the
same batch of nobodies who kept his streak alive as U.S. Champion now get
World Title shots? Presumably Goldberg will now vacate the U.S. Title. Or
will he? Would they really have him vacate that belt, only to lose the
World Title back to Hogan days later, leaving him without a belt? Something
to keep in mind over the next few days.
I'm already seeing comments about how Goldberg is the fastest rising star
ever to win the title. I guess everyone's forgotten how the Giant won the
World Title only about three months after he debuted in WCW. Just look
where he is today.
I must mention here that Tony Schiavone really dropped the ball at the
end in his commentary--or lack thereof. Tony, who had pumped everything up
as the greatest whatever during the show, barely spoke following the win.
Heenan did a good job of stepping in and speaking, conveying the emotion of
the moment. Tony, when he did talk, was very low-key about the win. Tenay
didn't say anything at all as best as I can remember. I've watched the
match three times now as of writing this and each time it struck me how
this was clearly one of the hugest moments in WCW's history, yet Bobby
Heenan was the only one who made me feel as if he believed that himself.
There's a school of thought that sometimes the moment should be allowed to
carry itself. Normally I'd buy that, but here there was just something a
bit off about the crowd reaction. It was almost as if they were waiting for
the other shoe to drop. They were loud, but not seemingly as loud as they
had been when he had beaten Hall earlier in the show. Maybe they were just
worn out. It also seemed like WCW was still pumping that pretaped
"Goldberg!" chant over everything, though it was hard to tell. They also
milked the scene it bit too long, staying with Goldberg's celebration a few
extra minutes, running over the top of the hour. I'm surprised Michael
Buffer wasn't on hand to do the original ring introductions. I'm also
surprised they didn't show the other WCW wrestlers celebrating, as they did
when Luger and Sting won the belt. (Of course Goldberg is supposed to be a
loner. Also redoing that scene would be a rehash of the earlier instances.
And most of WCW has since joined the NWO.) All in all it was a great moment
just the tiniest bit diminished by poor execution.
In terms of hype, this match paid of for WCW. But what about the rest of
the show? There was some okay wrestling in a few of the other matches, but
none of them were remotely close in meaning to the two Goldberg matches. In
fact, take those two matches away and this would have been a fairly
miserable show. I'm not sure if any of those matches even reached five
minutes in length. Of the dozen total matches, nine went to clean finishes.
However, other than the two Goldberg matches, six of those nine were
practically squashes. Only one--Psychosis vs. Guerrera--was a very
competitive match, and that only lasted about three minutes. The other
three matches featured DQ's and run-in finishes.
Then there's also the hype that lead up to this week and the many surprises
promised. Here's where the show almost completely failed to deliver. We all
knew there was zero chance either Ric Flair or the Ultimate Warrior would
appear, and that turned out to be the case. Speaking of Flair, the much
hyped Four Horsemen reunion never happened either. There weren't even any
Horsemen on the show, as Chris Benoit didn't appear and Steve McMichael
only appeared in an (old) pretaped interview. Scott Hall made his return,
but didn't reunite with the Wolfpac as had been rumored. Kevin Green put in
what could be described charitably as a token appearance. Dennis Rodman
never showed. Eddie Guerrero and Stevie Ray weren't around to further the
angles they're in, and Bret Hart was also given the night off. Kevin Nash
was there, but didn't do anything. The entire Wolfpac, actually, fit into
that "token appearance" category. Rey Mysterio, Jr. never showed. Buff
Bagwell appeared, but the Eric Bischoff "NWO Late Night" show it was
supposed to be a part of didn't (an admittedly good thing). It's as if
every other angle in the company was dropped to focus one Goldberg vs.
Hogan. The only other angle that got any significant airtime was the
Jericho/Malenko feud, and all that was done there was Malenko was pulled
from the PPV match. Taken on its own, without the two Goldberg matches,
this was a pretty bad show, and it'll be up to Thunder on Wednesday to get
things back on track for the PPV.
Speaking of which, it's hard to not come to the opinion that this show
completely outshined the upcoming PPV. What is there worth spending $30 to
see? Rodman hasn't even bothered to show up to hype it, which shows you how
seriously he's taking the match. It's hard to believe that he would be part
of it just to get pinned. That either leaves Malone and DDP losing, or
Hogan taking another pinfall loss. I put my money on the latter, though
after seeing him suffer his most embarrassing loss since before the birth of
"Hulkamania", how big a deal will it be to see him pinned by Malone? The
rest of the card features a shadowy line-up of matches which will rely
almost solely on this Wednesday's Thunder to set them up. I'm not at all
fired up about them now, and I doubt Thunder will offer anything to change
my mind on that.
One final thing on Karl Malone: do you think DDP would be offended if I
noted that Malone actually does a better Diamond Cutter than he does?
Did I like this week's show? Yeah, I did. Will I give it the win over RAW?
Truth be told, I'm not sure. I need to watch RAW again to see how it
stacked up. Right now the only thing keeping Nitro in the running is the
notable nature of its main event. It was historic, and I liked the main
event, but the bulk of the show sucked.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Taped 6/30.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: State College, Pennsylvania.
WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- Last week's show is recapped.
- The Undertaker comes to the ring and immediately challenges "Stone Cold"
Steve Austin to a title match. They cut to Michael Cole in the back,
who's looking for Austin to get a response. Austin appears and blows by
Cole en route to the ring. Before he can say anything, though, he
interrupted by Vince McMahon, standing with a mic on the stage. McMahon
says the "inmates are attempting to run the asylum!" He asks the
Undertaker who made him the number one contender? He then asks Austin
who he thinks he is to pick and choose his challengers? McMahon says he
picks and chooses who Austin will defend his title against. McMahon says
he'd like nothing more than to see the two tear each other apart, and
they'll have a chance to do so at the next PPV, "Fully Loaded". There's
only one problem: they'll be a tag team together, facing the team of
Kane and Mankind! McMahon wraps up by saying he'll announce the number
one contender later in the show. He then, to show Austin what he thinks
of him, gives him a salute. A one-fingered salute. McMahon leaves, with
Austin in hot pursuit.
- BRAKUS vs. SAVIO VEGA
Another "Brawl For All" match, which Savio wins. A better fight than the
two shown last week, but it's difficult to come up with much to say
about them. Punch ... punch ... punch ... that about covers it. Savio
gives Brakus a bloody nose. Word is that these fights are actually
real--an assertion which I'm not 100% inclined to buy just yet.
Supposedly these fights are all voluntary, and that the winners get
$5000. Whoever wins the whole tournament--the final match scheduled for
SummerSlam--will get $75,000. It's still a bit annoying that they're not
providing brackets to show who's in this tournament, though that may
lend credence to this being real. Perhaps the wrestlers are signing up
on a weekly basis, waiting to see who's in it and who's winning. After
all, how'd you like to sign up, only to find out that Ken Shamrock is
your opponent? Or Dan Severn?
- KEN SHAMROCK vs. JEFF JARRETT (w/ Tennessee Lee)
A rematch from the King of the Ring. A good match with a not-so-good
finish. Very even, back-and-forth action between the two, going in and
out of the ring. Shamrock eventually has the upper hand, but is suddenly
attacked by a large fan, who turns out to former WWF star (and former
WWF King of the Ring and World Tag Team Champion) Mabel. Mabel lays out
Shamrock with a big splash. He then makes his exit through the crowd.
Shamrock, who gets the win via DQ, shrugs off the help of the ref and
gives a roar on his way out of the ring. After the commercial break
Shamrock, in an interview in the back, challenges Mabel to a match later
in the show.
- Before the next match Jim Ross announces that the New Age Outlaws will
defend the World Tag Team Titles against Kane and Mankind next week.
Uh-oh.
- VADER vs. BRADSHAW
This match never really goes anywhere as Kane and Mankind run in after a
minute or so. Kane chokeslams and Tombstones Vader, while Mankind puts
Bradshaw out with the Mandible Claw.
- THE DISCIPLES OF APOCALYPSE (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. THE HEAD BANGERS
Ellering leads the DOA to the ring on their Titan motorcycles and
wherever he's been, he's kept in shape. He joins the announcing crew for
color commentary, delivering a great monologue on how he made the LOD
stars, how they became superstars without him, and that how they were
now living off their past glory. The match itself isn't much to speak
of. The DOA win.
The Undertaker is shown pacing in the back, waiting to see if he will be
named the number one contender.
- D-LO BROWN (w/ "Godfather" Kama) vs. TERRY FUNK
D-Lo still has that chest protector, or something very similar, which is
now incorporated into his outfit. In what's actually a nice bit of
booking continuity, D-Lo is wearing it, allegedly, because Dan Severn
tore D-Lo's pectoral muscle in an early King of the Ring tournament
match. That's why D-Lo interfered in Severn's match at the PPV. He's
also allowed to keep wearing it because it protects his injured chest.
I wouldn't call this match pretty, but it had its moments. The trade a
variety of offense, with Funk doing a Piledriver and Russian Leg Sweep.
They spill to the floor and Funk sets him up with a shot to the rail,
then does an Asai Moonsault off the second rope. Back in the ring he
lands another moonsault, this one to D-Lo's back to avoid that chest
protector. Kama then interferes, nailing Funk from behind when the ref
isn't looking. D-Lo takes control and finishes Funk off with the
beeyooteefull jackknife Frog Splash (which he calls "The Lowdown"). The
two Nation members then stomp on the 54 year old Funk.
Out comes the Undertaker, who delivers chokeslams to the two. The fans
figure he's out to save Funk, as does Funk himself, who pulls himself up
using the Undertaker. The Taker gives him a glare and chokeslams him as
well (though it's a pretty gentle chokeslam, in deference to Funk's
rickety frame).
SummerSlam. 8 weeks.
WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.
- Mr. McMahon hits the ring, signaling the start of the War Zone. McMahon
calls out Mankind, getting a bit impatient with him as he takes too long
in getting there. He then calls out Kane. Finally he calls out the
Undertaker. From there he delivers comments, running each man down in
turn. He thanks Mankind for all he's done for the WWF, but questions
whether that has earned them the right to be the number one contender.
He call Kane stupid for giving Austin the title match last week, but
says any man willing to put in writing that he'll set himself on fire is
okay with him. He then says the Undertaker is the most evil man he's
ever met, and knows that he'd love to get his hands on the title again
more than life itself. So who's the number one contender? Why not let a
"Triple Threat" match between the three answer that question?
- HAWK vs. DARREN "PUKE" DROSDOV
"Brawl For All" bout. This is the first fight of the tournament which
the fans get into, though Hawk running out of gas in the second round
takes them out of it just as quick. Hawk looks to have suffered a broken
nose during the fight. I'm too lazy to go back to count punches to see
if the draw which is declared is accurate or not.
- "Marvelous" Marc Mero and Jacquelyn come out. Jackie starts ragging on
Sable, who eventually comes out. After some embarrasingly bad (but
funny) banter back-and-forth, a bikini contest between the two is set
for the PPV. Jacquelyn also takes credit for Mero losing his match last
week, saying she emptied his tank the night before. Sable says the
problem with Mero when she had him was that his tire was always flat.
- VAL VENIS vs. DUSTIN RUNNELS
Didn't these two just fight a few weeks ago? And just when are they
going to kickstart this gimmick they've laid on Runnels? The match
itself isn't much, with Venis winning by DQ when he's attacked by the
three Japanese members of Kaientai, in retaliation for what Venis did
last week. Their manager Yamaguchi-san and his "wife" come to the ring.
Yamaguchi mangles some English and slaps Venis as his wife looks on.
Strangely enough, she looks more concerned for the porn star than her
pot-bellied husband.
- Expecting an appearance by DeGeneration X, we instead get a visit from
"the Nation". Hunter Hearst Helmsley is dressed like Rocky Maivia, and
has all the Rock's mannerisms down. Road Dog is dressed as D-Lo Brown.
Billy Gunn is Kama. That guy from Canada who they brought in before
WrestleMania to do impressions is dressed as Owen Hart. X-Pac is made up
like Mark Henry. What follows is the funniest interview of the night,
month, and maybe the best thing we've seen since the NWO made fun of the
Four Horsemen. Hunter, as "the Crock", talks about how he always strikes
out with the ladies and has to lay the "smack-down" on himself. Anytime
somebody says anything funny "D-Blow" repeats it and celebrates on the
corner turnbuckles. The guy doing Owen is letter perfect, complaining
about his stupid looking outfit, his big nose, and being a nugget.
X-Pac, as "Mizark Henry", ends up swearing to get a laugh. Hunter even
does an imitation of the People's Elbow. The piece ends with D-X telling
the Nation, who are all at home except for D-Lo and Kama, to "suck it!"
They replay Mabel's sneak attack on Shamrock.
- KEN SHAMROCK vs. MABEL
Mabel, who is almost seven feet tall and weighs, oh ... three tons or
so, doesn't last long at the hands of Shamrock. Mabel actually dominates
the match, but a missed clothesline off the turnbuckles allows Shamrock
to slap on the ankle submission for the win. Shamrock snaps, and it
takes several referees and Commissioner Slaughter to get him to break
the hold. I'm inclined to believe that Mabel's appearance here was a
one-shot deal, though I'm already hearing unsettling rumors that he may
stick around and join the Nation. Shamrock has now beaten all the other
King of the Ring winners in the last week except for Bret Hart.
Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring as Shamrock exits. Vince takes a
seat at the announcer's desk. Moments later Steve Austin comes out,
which doesn't sit well with McMahon. Austin says he's there to find out
who the top contender is.
- KANE vs. MANKIND vs. THE UNDERTAKER
Mankind comes out, followed by Kane. The Undertaker's entrance is done,
but he doesn't show. They do it again, and again he doesn't show.
McMahon finally tells the ring announcer that since the Undertaker is
such a "chickensh**!" (which he forces the announcer to repeat), and
won't come out he's, changing the match: Kane and Mankind will face in a
"Falls Count Anywhere" match. Mankind doesn't like this idea, and says
that he's done giving for McMahon and under no circumstances will he
fight his friend Kane. McMahon turns to Kane, ordering him to fight
Mankind. Kane plasters Mankind, who is setting next to the ring steps,
with a steel chair. He then rolls him into the ring and pins him. Before
McMahon can gloat over Austin too much, though, Kane pulls off his mask,
revealing that it's really the Undertaker! The Undertaker is now the
number one contender, and will face Austin in the main event at
SummerSlam.
- Next week: Mankind & Kane vs. the New Age Outlaws.
Comments:
It's an old angle, two future opponents forced to team up, but if done
right it's a good one.
A good show, but one with a number of faults: the most obvious being the
failure to deliver the promised main event. The undercard, while amusing
and entertaining at times, featured too little in the way of memorable
action and too many DQ's and run-in finishes. I liked what I saw, but was
really hoping for more--especially considering how big Nitro was shaping
up to be. During the head-to-head broadcast of the shows I watched RAW far
more often, though quite often I found myself flipping over to Nitro, which
in turn usually failed to hold my interest. In the end I find myself giving
the nod to Nitro this week, though that's purely because of its historical
significance. I probably liked RAW more, but it was Nitro that was the more
important show this week. Better? Not really, but enough of an improvement
for me to acknowledge it by giving them the win. I tell you though: the
D-X skit alone almost won it for them this week. Had last week's main event
been on this week I'd have given the win to RAW hands down.
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The Bottom Line:
Here is the line-up, as best as I can figure, for Bash at the Beach:
* Hogan & Rodzilla vs. DDP & Malone.
* Goldberg & Greene vs. Hennig & the Giant.
* Booker T. vs. Bret Hart.
* Jericho vs. Mysterio (or Ultimo Dragon).
* Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero. "Hair vs. Hair" match.
* Kanyon vs. Saturn vs. Raven.
Almost certainly more matches will be added. It's notable that Sting,
Luger and Nash aren't scheduled in anything (yet). Neither is Hall. All the
build for this one, and the main selling point, is the main event. There's
some potential in the undercard, but as a whole this is a PPV lacking
serious depth or meat to it. It should pop a big buyrate for curiosity's
sake, but I doubt this will come close to winning anyone's vote as best PPV
of the year. We'll see.
Just to update everyone regarding the Slobberknocker Central website:
Last week my ISP's server got hacked. They got everything back up and
running, but the copy of my site which is there is a month old, which is
the last time they backed up their server. They are in the process of
making some security fixes and until then I have no FTP access, meaning I
can't update the site. I'm expecting to get that again literally any minute
now, and hopefully I'll get a current copy of the site back up and almost
any time now. I thank everyone for their patience, and encourage you all to
keep checking on the site to see if it's back. Things should be back to
normal very soon.
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This Week's Winner: Nitro.
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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for
info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
Volume One, Number 138 of the "Monday Night Recap", July 6th, 1998.