Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #114 January 19th, 1998 WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: New Orleans, Louisiana. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - Let me just say off the bat that Nitro didn't win this week. (My pick, not the TV ratings. The TV ratings have yet to come out as I write this.) Many readers felt I unjustly gave Nitro the win last week. I addressed that issue on my website last week and consider the matter closed. This week I think there is no doubt in the matter, and most readers-no matter which side of the fence they are on-have to agree. (Unless you are totally turned off by the WWF, in which case I have no idea why you'd even bother to follow them. As much as WCW irks me, there's still stuff there that I like and that entertains me. If someone can't say that about the WWF, then it's time they stop paying attention to them.) - The Nitro Girls are out right away to warm up the monstrous Superdome crowd (25,000+ according to WCW). They almost immediately go to the first match as the announcers talk about Thunder. - EDDIE GUERRERO vs. RICK MARTEL Who'd Eddie piss off lately? Martel wins this match in a bit over three minutes, taking a bit of punishment to his legs, only to turn the tables and slap the Quebec Crab on Eddie for the win. Guerrero, who was the top heel in the cruiserweight division a little over a month ago, has seen his push come to screeching halt. This would have been a total squash were it not for the four or five offensive moves Eddie got in. An incredibly disappointing opener, though the crowd bought Martel's milk- fed babyface performance. - Lengthy clips of the end of Thunder are shown. Usually I blast highlights clips, but this time around they served a purpose, since some of this stuff went unseen due to the technical difficulties of the Thunder broadcast. - "Hollywood" Hogan's music starts up and the crowd nearly explodes. (Mike Tenay wisely doesn't call it "Voodoo Chili" this time.) Hogan comes to the ring and does the usual interview, with the twist being this time that he promises to keep all the other New World Order members in line. Bischoff, who comes to the ring with him, presents him with a black tape wrapped baseball bat, which he claims to have stolen from Sting. Hogan intimates that he'll use the bat on his NWO fellows if they don't toe the line. Forgotten in all this is Hogan's claims on Thunder that a judge ruled that they should get the title, and their demand that Dillon should present it to him tonight. Many of us predicted it, and it's already happening: WCW simply can't keep any continuity going between the two live shows. (Maybe they addressed it on Saturday Night? I didn't watch this week. Four hours+ of WCW a week is already enough, thank you.) Hogan announces that he'll wrestle the Giant later in the show. I think it was a year ago this week that WCW did the disgraceful Hogan/Giant match which stretched out during the debut of "Robin Hood". - CHRIS BENOIT vs. MARTY JANNETTY I got to thinking how much fans have wanted to see Benoit wrestle Shawn Michaels, and how this match was the next best thing. I then drank a Pepsi, which woke me up a bit and the above thought went away. Schiavone points out that Raven and his Flock were kicked out of the ringside area "earlier" and that they're nowhere to be seen (meaning they'll run in later). An okay match, though most of it is just Benoit easily dismantling Jannetty. Marty gets in a few offensive moves, though. Benoit eventually slaps on the Crippler Crossface for the near win. Here comes the Flock. Billy Kidman jumps off the top. Benoit moves and Jannetty gets nailed. Benoit and Raven stare down, teasing a confrontation. The Flock outnumbers Benoit, but Jannetty lends a hand and helps clear the ring (even doing a crowd pleasing dive over the rope onto several Flock members on the floor). Benoit, meanwhile, takes down Lodi and nails him with the headbutt off the top. Jannetty apparently wins the match via DQ, though no call is ever made and the bell never rings. Possibly a "no-contest". I realize this is all a slow build to an eventual Benoit/Raven match, but right now I'm not buying. I know it would be (should be) a good-possibly great match. I also realize the stall is partly necessary because Raven is recovering from some kind of illness. Still, I wish they'd let us know definitely one way or another where all these recent developments are leading. Dean Malenko getting laid out last week suggested that he'd join Benoit in forming some kind of stable. (Possibly even as a Horsemen, when one considers it was Steve McMichael who helped him the week before that.) This week, though, neither Malenko nor McMichael are anywhere to be seen. Now we have Jannetty helping out, though it could be just because he was the one hit by Kidman. Jannetty was gone from the ring well before Benoit headbutted Lodi and the segment came to an end. This has all the makings of a great angle, but WCW just seems unwilling to commit to it at anywhere near the level of their other angles. All one can really do right now is sit back and enjoy the matches, which have been weak more often than not, going all the way back to the beginning of this. - JERRY FLYNN vs. THE CAT The Cat is Ernest Miller. I'm starting to believe that Miller is one of Eric Bischoff's karate class buddies and that he's being pushed now because of it. Why do all wrestlers with the name "Ernie" or "Ernest" have to have the nickname "the Cat"? This match was nearly as bad as Miller's match last week. Miller has absolutely no "wrestling" skills. All he can do is kick, and the more he does the more that miss or land with noticeably little impact. Flynn actually looked far better than Miller in this match, which isn't saying much. Miller again wins with the spinning kick off the top. The crowd gave absolutely no reaction for the finisher, but popped after the pin (presumably because the "good guy" beat the "bad guy"). - Nitro Girls. - Scott Hall comes to the ring ... does his survey ... WCW wins ... taunts Zbyszko ... Zbyszko teases retaliation. And they say the Kane angle is drawn out! My interest in their match at Souled Out is actually diminishing as every week goes by. Some mention of Zbyszko being AWA champion is made. - KONAN/BUFF BAGWELL (w/ Vincent) vs. THE STEINER BROTHERS (w/ Ted DiBiase) Scott Steiner wrestles the entire match and pins Konan with the Steiner Screwdriver. He then trades muscle poses with a wary Buff Bagwell. DiBiase asks him what's up. After a tense staredown with his brother he walks out on them. The Steiners could split up and I wouldn't care. Scott could join the NWO and I'd care even less. This could all be a massive red herring to string us along and I guarantee you won't hear more than a "it figures" from me. I just don't care where any of this is going-not one bit. I can't see a single prospective storyline developing from this that means one damn thing. (I mean really, ANOTHER "brother vs. brother" feud?!) This concluded one of the dullest first hours of Nitro in recent memory. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews the Giant. Now, he's not that bad behind the mic, but it'd be nice if WCW would actually come up with something for him to say. All he does each week is a generic interview which ends with him bellowing "the CHOKESLAM!!!" Kevin Nash comes to the ring and gets in the Giant's face. The Giant can't touch him because of the $1.5 million stipulation for Souled Out. Hogan comes to the ring as well, followed by Randy Savage. Savage seems to want to fight Nash, but Hogan holds him back. Savage then pushes Hogan from behind. Hogan flies into Nash, who slams into the Giant. Savage takes off, while the Giant seems on the verge off attacking Nash (thus forfeiting his security deposit for Souled Out). Hogan attacks the Giant from behind with the bat. The beating continues until Sting runs in. Sting lays out Hogan with the Scorpion Deathdrop. Good stuff, though it only barely advances the storyline. Escalates the tensions, sure, but doesn't really take it anywhere new. WCW would have us think this is a sign that the NWO is about to explode. All I see is Savage about to be dumped on his ear by the NWO. The only question is on which side of it will Hogan end up, which is why my interest is still barely aroused. If Hogan sides with Nash, then it's bye-bye Savage (from the NWO). If Hogan sides with Savage, then the end of the NWO *could* be near. I really don't see Hogan bringing about the end of the NWO over Savage, though. I do think having Savage rejoin WCW might help his image a bit, though not all that much (and how will WCW EVER be able to convince us that Savage could peacefully coexist with DDP or Luger?) WCW will probably just turn Savage, though, because it's a surprise. Usually logic goes out the window just so WCW can spring a surprise on us. Going back to Savage joining the NWO, WCW still hasn't bothered to explain really why he did it, or what it accomplished. Has he headlined a PPV since then? Has he held a title? Has he even had any titleshots? I think the answers are "no", "no" and "maybe" (some U.S. Title shots here and there I'm sure, though none of them stand out in my mind). He did engage in a notable feud with DDP, though that only occupied a few months out of the last year. Now his recent feud with Luger has had all the emotional impact of pulling two names out of a hat and saying "there ... these two guys will feud!" Of course if you go all the way back to 1996, Savage- after his last brief hurrah as World Champ-saw his career go into the crapper. He then went nuts, disappeared, then came back and became Sting's first "recruit" in his "army" to rid WCW of the NWO. That revived interest in him: interest which WCW subsequently killed by having him join the NWO for no reason other than he wanted Elizabeth back ... or something like that. You want a really pessimistic, paranoid observation? I wonder if this is all being done at the behest of Hogan, who simply doesn't want to have to face and put over Sting, Hart, the Giant, Flair, Piper, or even Nash; and has instead come up with the idea of the NWO dumping Savage, thus rekindling their old feud. Hogan could then book all the wins over Savage he'd want and WCW, knowing they have no stake in it anyway and could give two figs about Savage's future or feelings, would sit back and let Hogan do it. Hogan makes himself look good for awhile, delaying the inevitable showdowns with the above names. More on this later. - Nitro Girls. - BOOKER T. vs. MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg) Tony Schiavone makes the announcement that Nitro will indeed be three hours permanently starting next week. He even hinted that three hours might not be enough, and that they'll run over then too. Consider this my final edition of the "Monday Night Recap". Just kidding. Barely. Okay match, but I'll be honest with you: I didn't even see it Monday night, and I watched it a 2X speed while writing this Recap. Booker T. is an okay wrestler, but I have absolutely no interest in Mortis. Booker wins with the Harlem Hangover. After the match Wrath runs in and lays him out. Rick Martel runs in to make the save. (Well, he actually just cocks his fists and Wrath, who's about a foot taller and could probably tear Martel limb-from-limb, walks away). In an embarrassing spot Booker thanks Martel, asks him what he wants and Martel requests a Television Title shot. Call me dense, but didn't they do that last week? - Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair. Bret Hart comes out. You know the rest. - CHRIS JERICHO vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA Another okay match, but far short of what was possible here. The first half of the match Jericho wrestles as a heavyweight: stopping to brag after he hit moves, dropping to the floor to stall after he got hit, and so forth. They then went into one flurry of decent moves, culminating in Jericho powerbombing Guerrera and applying the Lion Tamer for the relatively quick win. He then delays in releasing the hold. Over the house mic he explains that he didn't know Guerrera had tapped out, and that the ref wasn't being clear about it. He then attacks Guerrera, which draws Rey Mysterio to the ring. Mysterio and Guerrera do some doubleteam moves, which send Jericho scurrying from the ringside area. So who exactly is Jericho: cowardly heel, the confident heel that beat Eddie Guerrero on Thunder, or the hotheaded putz who couldn't win a match over the last month? - Nitro Party Video. Is it too much to ask the fans to spend more than 30 seconds drawing up the signs and such for these things? I could take a blunt dog turd and write "NWO 4 Life!" better than some of these people: and they have all the time in the world to get ready. More than three million people are going to see this, so why come off as illiterate fools with a five dollar party budget? - LEX LUGER vs. SCOTT HALL Arrrgh!!! I hate WCW sometimes, I really do. Luger Formula Match: Hall dominates, Luger hulks up, applies Torture Rack. Only he doesn't get the submission win because Randy Savage runs in. The two doubleteam him until Larry Zbyszko runs in. Larry gets mudholed for his efforts. Luger manages to get his hands on a steel chair and Hall and Savage flee. - "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN (w/ Eric Bischoff) vs. THE GIANT Michael "Gray as a Grandma" Buffer does the ring intro's. Hogan comes to the ring wearing a neckbrace. Bischoff says that due to the earlier confrontation and melee that Hogan will be unable to wrestle. The Giant cuts him off and grabs Hogan, suplexing him into the ring. He tears the brace off. For the next several minutes it's all Giant, as he tosses Hogan from pillar-to-post, out of the ring, back in the ring, and so on. Then it's Hogan's turn and he delivers an uninterrupted beating for a bit, culminating in a big boot, bodyslam, legdrop and pin cover. Suddenly Randy Savage appears on the top turnbuckle. Hogan gets up to see what in the hell Savage is up to. The Giant gets to his feet and chokeslams Hogan, covering for the admittedly shocking pin. Savage, for his part, can be seen crawling across the ring like a drunk man. The Giant grabs Savage and prepares to do him bodily harm, but is waylaid from behind by Kevin Nash. Nash pounds on the Giant. He then grabs Savage and drags him back into the ring. He's about to hit him with the Jacknife when Lex Luger runs in and nails him from behind. Luger then turns his attention to Savage and beats on him. Nash comes over and gets a few shots in on Luger. The NWO scrub squad (Bagwell, Konan, etc.) runs in and stomps on the Giant. A fan at ringside hoists another fan at ringside into the Torture Rack. Then Sting pulls a Ranger Ross and drops down from the roof of the Superdome. He, Luger and the Giant are left alone in the ring with Scott Hall as the show ends. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: This was not all that good a Nitro: in the ring or out. If anything it was about as dull and blah as the first two installments of Thunder have been. The finish was actually pretty good, but not really worth the mind numbing boredom of the two hours and fifteen minutes which led up to it. Am I glad Souled Out is this weekend! I'm into the Hart/Flair match, but I got tired of hearing them talk pretty quick. It's especially dumb when they've already escalated to the point where they've come to blows. Now they're having a civilized discourse again? Sorry, but it's time to put up or shut up. It doesn't help matters that WCW can't acknowledge in any great detail Bret Hart's past, much less these two guys' history against each other (and the fact that Hart beat Flair repeatedly in the WWF). It's just a shame that their match can't and won't live up to the hype: real or artificial. Flair just isn't up to it. (One of these days I'm going to do my shoot on Flair and let you all know what I REALLY think of him.) It's also a shame that so many fans are going to watch a two to three star match and declare it a "classic". I doubt many WCW fans will admit how good or bad that match will end up being. I think it'll be okay, but that's about it. "Dream Matches" lose their appeal when they happen five or ten years too late. Is anyone out there REALLY getting into what they're doing to the cruiserweight division, or the push Chris Jericho is getting? I recall writing nearly a year ago-back last summer-that the division came off as looking weak when the title changed hands too much. I just don't buy the "any wrestler can beat any other wrestler on any given night" approach. It makes the title mean less and gives you less of a reason to root for any particular wrestler (since even if he did manage to win the title he'd be as likely to lose it just as quickly and easily). What's worse, the division-which at one point was absolutely stacked with wrestlers, now has been reduced to about a half dozen active competitors. Guys like Psychosis and Ultimo Dragon seem to come in for a bit, then vanish (presumably to Mexico or Japan for a spell). Dean Malenko hasn't been overly active in the last few weeks and months. Guerrero, recently a solid heel champ and easily capable of carrying the division for an extended period of time, is now de- pushed and fighting regular heavyweights (this week, anyway). That leaves Rey Mysterio, Juventud Guerrera, and Chris Jericho, who as recently as two weeks ago had nothing to do with the cruiserweight division (spending most of his time wrestling the likes of DDP and Steve McMichael). Speaking of Jericho, I really don't see what's being accomplished here either. I've heard for some time that he's made a better heel in the past. I just don't see it. His mic skills don't seem to have improved any, and he's not saying anything much of interest yet. His ring skills are unchanged. What's the big deal? He was boring before, and he's still boring now. We've also seen recently that anyone bigger than him has no problem beating him. With the cruiserweight division being diminished so much, that means he's MAYBE able to beat two guys in all of WCW. Yay. You know what it is? "Shut 'em up!" booking. He complains about his character, so WCW gives him some more airtime. He thinks he's getting a push, when really all that's happening is that their giving him a "Fifteen Minutes of Fame" run, then he'll sink back into obscurity again for a while. The last notable recipient of one of these "pushes" was Disco Inferno. Where's HE now? Jobbing to the likes of Bill Goldberg, that's where. Speaking of "shut 'em up!" booking, anyone else think that's what happened here with Hogan and the Giant? The Giant makes noise, so Hogan "graciously" allows the Giant a meaningless win over him. Doesn't mean it'll happen again: just look at Luger, Piper and Sting. All three of them made noise and Hogan says "yeah, I'll lay down for them ... but none of them get MY title for more than a week!" (And not at all, in the case of Piper.) And of course Hogan can again claim that the finish should never have happened since the referee could have stopped it when Savage appeared (though this time around it'd be a pretty weak argument on Hogan's part). I'm betting Hogan will demand a clean pin over the Giant somewhere down the road for his troubles this week. What about the World Title? It's almost been forgotten in all of this. How's the saying go: "If I can't have it, no one can!" Boy, sure seems to describe Hogan, doesn't it? Will Hogan and Sting have a rematch for it, or will there be a tournament? When you think about it, this probably explains the whole situation as it exists between Savage, Nash and the others. Savage hates Nash ... Nash hates Savage ... Hogan is mad at Savage AND Nash ... Luger hates Savage ... the Giant hates Nash ... Sting hates Hogan ... Hart hates Hogan ... Flair hates Hart ... etc. Build this whole mess up and-voila! WCW announces a tournament. Forget the fact that there's absolutely no reason to have more than Sting and Hogan compete for the belt. No one else has any kind of a claim to it. That's all irrelevant, as WCW would have already established the animosity between all the competitors. The fans will overlook the unnecessity of a tournament and accept it because they're ready to see all involved fight each other. It will seem to be the perfect, "logical" cap to all these recent shenanigans. So what happens at the tournament? Someone wins the belt, while seven other guys-who have been making noise lately-all lose. Yup ... "shut 'em up!" booking again. The only question is if Hogan is the one yelling "shut 'em up!"? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours. Location: Fresno, California. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross, Michael Cole and Kevin Kelly. - This week's show is dedicated to the late Juanita McMahon, who it is my understanding was Vince McMahon's stepmother. - They start off showing what went down between Kane and the Undertaker last week, followed by footage of Kane throwing the Undertaker in the casket at the Royal Rumble, then setting it ablaze. Ninety seconds in and I've already been more entertained than the entire first hour of Nitro! There would be very few times that I'd turn back for the remainder of the evening. - The lights dim and the Undertaker's music starts up: his OLD music. Paul Bearer makes his way to the ring amidst boos from the fans. Bearer gloats over how he played all the fans for suckers. "You suck!" the crowd roars over and over. Bearer just eats it up, asking the fans "is that right?" The interview from that point drags on much too long, though, until the lights dim again and the Undertaker's charred, chopped casket is wheeled to the ring by men in robes. The Undertaker's blue light and music is suddenly replaced by a flash of fire, the red lights and music of Kane, who pops out of the box. With Kane in the ring Paul Bearer declares the Undertaker dead and gone once and for all. They show Tyson at the Rumble ripping up a WCW sign. They then hype the Rumble replay. - DeGeneration X is in the back. Hunter Hearst Helmsley says he proved what a loser Owen Hart is. HHH challenges Owen to a match next week, offering to put up the European Title. Shawn Michaels then says he feels guilty for what he's done to the Undertaker, and that as a favor to the fans he'll do everything in his power to track the Undertaker down and bring him back to the WWF. Two points here: the WWF really wants us to think the Undertaker has been "run out" of the WWF. Secondly, this whole "search" by Michaels is pretty much a parody of the missing Undertaker angle which lead up to SummerSlam 1994. More on this in a bit. - THE NOD vs. THE DOA The crowd goes wild over the DOA for some strange reason. I swear, this was actually an okay match (though probably for the best a quick one). The six men kept the action going continuously. Just a few minutes in all six men get into it, drawing the double-DQ, which draws a huge "boo" from the crowd. Rocky Maivia then runs in to help the NOD, followed close behind by Ken Shamrock. Mark Henry and Ahmed Johnson also end up in the ring. The NOD bid hasty retreat. A black hearse pulls up to the arena. - "MARVELOUS" MARC MERO (w/ Sable) vs. TOM BRANDI Mero makes Sable put on a robe. In the ring Brandi gently prompts Sable to move aside, then he blindsides Mero. The match starts off okay, but then slows down a bit. Someone brings Sable a bunch of flowers at ringside. Mero jumps out of the ring and orders her to leave (though she never does). Brandi tosses him back and the ring and they continue to go at it, trading moves and pin attempts. Sable eventually jumps up on the apron, drawing the referee over. Mero lands a low blow and puts Brandi away with the TKO. Overall a so-so match. They seem to be implying that Sable maybe has a "secret admirer", and that we're supposed to think it's Brandi, though probably it'll turn out to be someone else. I think. Actually I'm not quite sure where they're going with this, and they're taking their sweet- ass time getting there. Quick look at Tyson's dressing room door. Shawn, Hunter and Chyna sneak up on the hearse. After a brief confab on the procedure for opening the door they whip it open ... revealing several scantily clad young women. Shawn and Hunter are mobbed and dragged into the back of the hearse. Chyna gives a look a sister of a sex-crazed guy would give and closes the door behind them. - A pair of limos pull up and Tyson, along with his entourage and Shane McMahon-Vince's son, are in the house. The crowd can be heard reacting and while it's noticeably better than the reception at the Rumble, it's still filled with a lot of boos. - THE QUEBECERS vs. CACTUS JACK/"CHAINSAW" CHARLIE Just like that the Quebecers are back in the WWF. Cactus comes to the ring with a barbed-wire baseball bat, while Charlie has his spark-spitting chainsaw. The match itself is wild and short. After some brawling on the floor the Quebecers take control of the match, keeping Charlie in the ring. Cactus eventually can no longer stand seeing Charlie being beaten and comes into the ring. The ref tries to push him back out, so Cactus applies the Mandible Claw-essentially ending the match. The mayhem continues as Charlie is knocked to the floor. Cactus then clotheslines both Quebecers out over the top rope (as well as himself). Charlie, meanwhile, climbs onto the ropes and does a springboard splash (Vaderbomb) onto all three on the floor. The brawling continues until Cactus chases the Quebecers off with the baseball bat. Cactus' music plays, even though it's the Quebecers that have won via DQ. Charlie is shown yanking up his mask a couple of times, giving the crowd a big wink and a look at his real face (the face of Terry Funk). A wild return for the Quebecers, but not a very auspicious one. Shawn (who apparently can't go all night as he claims), Hunter and Chyna come across the Mexican Minis in the back. They try to get some info regarding the whereabouts of the Undertaker, but are unable to get over the language barrier. - Mike Tyson is shown in the back talking to Pat Patterson, Sgt. Slaughter and the other WWF road agents. (You know ... the old ex-WWF wrestlers who come out and break up fights and such.) Tyson seems to be genuinely enjoying himself. - BLACKJACK BRADSHAW (w/ Blackjack Windham) vs. JEFF JARRETT Jarrett is accompanied by Jim Cornette and the Rock & Roll Express. This match is for the NWA North American Heavyweight Title. Cornette makes a few quick comments at the announcer's desk. He again calls the WWF an "outlaw organization". Jarrett gets substantial help from the R & R Express, but Bradshaw is able to fight most of it off. Cornette jumps up on the apron, distracting the ref. Bradshaw looks to Windham to give him a hand, but Jarrett ducks Windham's charge and Bradshaw is viciously clotheslined instead. Barry Windham gives one remorseful look as Jarrett covers for the pin, then joins in on the NWA beating of Bradshaw. Cornette does a happy dance as Windham lays the boots to Bradshaw. Windham returns to the NWA fold, giving Cornette two former Four Horsemen as part of his sable. (With Paul Roma and Sid possibly coming in soon, Cornette could actually put together a complete Four Horsemen unit.) D-X is in the back discussing strategy. Suddenly a shadow falls over them. Bad memories of Leslie Nielsen flood back to me. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "the King" Lawler. - The lights dim and the Undertaker's music plays. The Man From the Dark Side makes a slow (and I do mean SLOW) descent from the ceiling. There's then a stretch where all we can see is flash bulbs and lighters in the crowd. Finally the ringpost flares go off and we see that it's Shawn Michaels who has dropped from the ceiling (or walked to the ring-who knows what happened in the dark). Shawn is wearing the Undertaker's ring gear over his own clothes. Hunter and Chyna then come to the ring towing a barbecue grill behind them. In an incredibly long interview segment, they make a ton of jokes about the Undertaker and fire. They play with marshmellows, hot dogs and a jumbo salami (which features in a number of the lewd jokes). Hunter rips on Owen Hart a bit. He also takes a potshot at Ric Flair and his "Space Mountain" ride (declaring it broken down, then offering the California girls a ride on his own rocket. Inset salami shot). Michaels takes a few shots at Mike Tyson, the Undertaker, and finally Steve Austin, telling him that all the geezers he's sent "down south" will tell him what we all know about Michaels: that he lays down for no one. Damn funny stuff at times, but at over sixteen minutes this went way, way, WAY too long. - Tyson is yakking it up in the back with the Legion of Doom. Sunny decides to cozy up to him as well. - LOS BORICUAS vs. TAKA MICHINOKU/OWEN HART/HEAD BANGERS The Honky Tonk Man sits in for color commentary. Just a few minutes into this one Owen tags in and slaps the Sharpshooter on one of the Boricuas for the win. Outside the ring he talks quickly to Michael Cole, saying he accepts Helmsley's offer at a European Title match. Tyson is in the back with the Nation of Domination. He says something like "I'm down with you!" and shakes Faarooq's hand. - ROCKY MAIVIA vs. AHMED JOHNSON Ahmed looks a bit strange with his mustache shaved off. Embarrassing match. Ahmed is a bit rusty, but it's Maivia who does a terrible job as nearly half the blows and shots in the match don't connect. During a pounding in the corner the camera happens to be in the wrong position, picking up an entire series of kicks which are pulled short by nearly six whole inches! Rocky throws punches which come closer to hitting me than they do Ahmed! That aside, the crowd is really into this one. Mark Henry comes to the ring and after a few minutes nails Ahmed with a chair, allowing Maivia to slam Ahmed and get the pin. Ken Shamrock comes out after the match to spare Ahmed a further beating. Tyson has now found Cactus Jack and "Chainsaw" Charlie. Tyson's entourage looks on warily as Tyson asks whether it's better to nail someone in the back of the head or in the back with the barbed-wire baseball bat. - Tyson has now been cornered by DeGeneration X. He gets a good feel of Chyna's muscles as Shawn pitches the merits of a spot in D-X. - THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE GODWINNS The NAO are dressed in overalls. Billy Gunn is carrying a fuzzy pink toy pig. Road Dog tries to talk the Godwinns out of fighting, but the pig farmers are quick to attack. A yawner of a match, but with a few decent moves. The Outlaws get the win when Gunn nails Phineas with the fuzzy pig. Henry Godwinn checks it after the NAO have left the ring, finding it stuffed with a chunk of brick. On last look at Tyson backstage as Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring. "They're booing him out of the building!" exclaims Jim Ross. - McMahon introduces Tyson, who gets about a 50/50 reaction from the crowd. The cameras are able to pick out a few pro-Tyson signs. McMahon asks Tyson who some of his favorite WWF wrestlers have been. Tyson names Bruno Sammartino and Nikolai Volkoff, adding that he's been a fans since "way back" and that he's pleased to be part of the World Wrestling Federation. McMahon begins to make the announcement that on March 29th, at the Fleet center in Boston, Massachussetts, Mike Tyson will ... *KEE-RASH!* "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, who hasn't been seen all night makes his way to the ring. Numerous WWF officials fill the ring behind him, making sure he doesn't get close to Tyson. McMahon asks Austin why he has come out? Austin says he's sick of seeing Tyson suck up to the WWF Superstars. Tyson looks puzzled and offers to shake hands. Austin ignores it and continues, saying he respects what Tyson has done in the world of boxing, but that "by stepping in this ring you're messing with 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, and that's something you don't do! Let me make this short and sweet: Steve Austin wants a piece of Mike Tyson's ass!" Vince starts shaking his head no, to which Austin tells him to shut up. Austin threatens to knock Vince's lights out. "I respect what you done Mike, but you're out here calling yourself 'the Baddest Man on the Planet!' Right now you got your beady little eyes locked on the yes of the world's toughest SON-OF-A-BITCH!" Austin says he can beat him any day of the week, and in case he has any problems hearing, he flips Tyson the double bird. Tyson give kind of a "you .. me ... let's get it on!" gesture and shoves Austin to the mat! The crowd explodes. Bodies begin piling on Austin to hold him back. Tyson's entourage backs him to the opposite side of the ring. Austin is pinned on the ring apron with a member of Tyson's entourage under him, then dragged to the outside. McMahon, shown going through a slow burn, begins yelling at Austin: "GET OUT OF HERE! YOU RUINED IT! YOU RUINED IT, DAMN IT!!!" McMahon takes a few swings at Austin, then throws a few kicks at him as he's being pulled away from the ring. The crowd is chanting "Austin! Austin! Austin!" Shane holds his father back from going after Austin. Stone Cold is escorted from the ring area as they cut to a commercial. - Back from the break they replay what just happened. Cut to the back where McMahon is attempting to apologize profusely. Tyson entourage members off camera are swearing. Tyson demands that McMahon bring "that coward" out there. Someone threatens to bust Stone Cold up. Tyson looks in the camera and calls Austin a "faggot" just before the show fades out. - Next week: Owen Hart vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Euro Title match. Comments: A simply incredible ending. When something like this didn't happen at the Rumble I figured nothing like it would. I also figured Shawn Michaels would be the one to get in Tyson's face. McMahon once again managed to make it look like a massive shoot situation was taking place. The rest of the show was good, but it did have its flaws. The matches of the first hour were okay, but the quality dropped way off in the second. The interview segments also went far to long at the start of both hours. Still, things kept moving along well with only a few lulls (unlike Nitro, which at times seemed to stop completely for a coffee break or two). It's unfortunate that buried amongst all this is the intriguing NWA angle. This thing is proceeding much like many fans had hoped the WWF/ECW agreement would. It'll be interesting to see who else Cornette brings in, who turns away from the WWF and joins the NWA, and where it all ultimately leads. I mentioned something last week about not liking to be in the dark about what was going to happen, and that it was nice to have a few ideas as to what's going on. I also said that feeling is lessened when I at least feel as if the WWF knows what it's doing. Well, it sure seems like the WWF has got this whole thing figured out (or at least have a number of solid scenarios with which to work on) going into WrestleMania. I don't know if they'll be able to top this, but at least I know they seem to have something huge in the works for WrestleMania and the weeks leading up to it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: I think it's pretty wise if we all step back a bit and not overspeculate (or overassume) what's going to happen at WrestleMania. There's still ten weeks to go, a number of live RAW's, and an "In Your House" PPV to get through first. It's possible that they could say, in the coming weeks, that everyone has "cooled down" and Tyson will go ahead and referee a match as was "supposed" to be announced in the first place. Maybe he'll wrestle (though I think that's actually unlikely). Maybe Shawn Michaels will still get in his face and this whole thing will happen again. Who knows? As has been widely reported in the media, Tyson can wrestle if he wants. The whole idea of the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) somehow being involved is all part of the angle. They have no say in whether or not Tyson could wrestle, and they don't have the power to prevent him from doing so. All they could do is deny his request to have his license reinstated this summer, but the commission has already announced that Tyson wrestling would have no bearing on that decision. There's also the possibility (remote as it is) that the NSAC will turn down Tyson's request at re-instatement. That would open the possibility for Tyson to engage in a relationship lasting longer than just one PPV appearance. That may already be planned regardless of Tyson's boxing status. At this point I don't think anything can be assumed, and one shouldn't do much more than take it all as it comes our way. As far as a Tyson/Austin match, I'm not really all that sure I'd like to see it. What I mean is that unless Tyson responded well to wrestling training, there's every indication that any match he'd be in wouldn't be all that great (and would rely heavily on the booking and the angle surrounding it to make it interesting). Also, given the crowd's reaction, most everyone would be cheering for Tyson. Yet Tyson would very likely get the win (as is the status quo for matches involving other sports stars and celebrities). The crowd could get pretty ugly if Austin has to do a clean job to Tyson. On the other hand, anything but a definitive finish could upset the PPV customers. There's just so many variables to consider: variables which would be completely different had it been Michaels who made the challenge. I also wouldn't rule out the slight possibility that we've just seen Tyson's entire WWF involvement! That this confrontation was planned all along and that all the talk of WrestleMania, the millions of dollars, the refereeing position ... all of that was a swerve to set up a one-time scuffle on RAW, done solely to draw a huge rating. I don't think this scenario is likely, but it can't be ruled out entirely. All it would take would be for McMahon to announce that because of Austin the negotiations with Tyson fell through completely. It has already been reported to the media, though, that Tyson does indeed want to wrestle Austin, and that McMahon intends to contact the NSAC to see if they would "clear" Tyson to wrestle. This is clearly the next step in the angle, but as I said above, don't assume automatically a match between Austin and Tyson at WrestleMania. There's just too many weeks between now and WM to make any assumptions. One thing's for sure: the WWF said they were going to bring in Mike Tyson. Boy, did they deliver on that one. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Week's Winner: RAW. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 114 of the "Monday Night Recap", January 19th, 1998.