[RESULTS/OPINION] WCW Monday Nitro/WWF RAW is WAR (08/18/97) [Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #92] (08/18/97) WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Birmingham, Alabama. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - Raven tells us how difficult it is to be different. Apparently he was one butt-ugly kid, and this has haunted him well into his adulthood. Whether it was his zits, or his affinity for "Dungeons and Dragons", the torment he received at the hands of his peers has created the tortured soul we know as Raven. Or so he says. It's as good an excuse as any to beat people up, I suppose. Cue the Nitro Girls. - HARLEM HEAT (w/ Jacquelyn) vs. VICIOUS & DELICIOUS (w/ Vincent) Why is it when New Japan held their G1 Tournament, these two glorified jobbers got the call? They and Steven Regal who, if you haven't heard by now, either will soon be-or has already been-fired by WCW. Harlem Heat wins via DQ when Vincent interferes ... or something. This one didn't look any good from the start, with guys blowing moves and such. Jacquelyn's addition to the Heat hasn't done anything for them. (Why does the greatest tag team in WCW history-7 World Tag Team Titles- even need a valet? To call her a "manager" is an insult to the very title). You ever have one of those thoughts pop into your head and you just can't get rid of it? Maybe if I put it down, it'll go away: if Buff Bagwell claimed to be from Germany and joined Alex Wright, they might just be the greatest gay Nazi tag team in the history of wrestling. Just a thought. - BARBARIAN vs. MORTIS (w/ James Vandenberg) Match three or four in this cookie cutter feud. Barbarian wins fairly easily with a boot to the head. Wrath then runs in and lays out Barbarian, but Meng soon follows and puts out Wrath with the Tonga Death Grip. Mortis attacks, but Meng no-sells it. - Eric Bischoff comes to the ring for another one of his ego feeding sessions. He invites us all to watch this Thursday's Clash of the Champions, which will be the NWO's birthday party ... or something. In a land or morons, Eric is the King. He also reminds of that disgrace involving the restraining order last week. Then, in a sign that WCW has completely run out of ideas for the NWO, Bischoff starts rallying for the NWO to get it's own TV show. Remember when they did this a year ago? - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair and Curt Hennig. This is the same interview they've done for the past three or four weeks. Hennig says he's looking for competition, and he'll get it tonight in the form of the Giant. Flair may as well be working off a 3X5 card, as he says the same stuff over and over. (Maybe Bret Hart was right). - "THE PERFECT WEAPON" STEVIE RICHARDS vs. SCOTTY RIGGS The nickname? It's on the back of his half shirt (and he's still got those "Daisy Duke" shorts. Richards does maybe one good move, and wins with the Steviekick. The announcers make fun of Richards for giving names to all his moves ("Steviebomb", "Stevieplex", "Steviekick"). Raven then runs in and DDT's Richards. Raven gets a big pop, and part of the crowd (probably to WCW's horror) starts to chant "Raven! Raven!" WCW has absolutely botched this angle! They took so long to figure out what they would do that many of the fans have misinterpreted WCW's intentions. Instead of clearly defining Raven as a heel, they have instead made him somewhat interesting with the "mysterious" approach, and Richards has come off as an annoying jerk out to bother Raven, instead of the babyface that he's supposed to be. The fans are now cheering Raven and booing Richards. Look for WCW to do some major damage control to set us fans straight. - Mean Gene interviews Jeff Jarrett, Debra McMichael and Eddy Guerrero. Alex Wright comes out and demands to be added to the team. Debra tells him to beat it, because he doesn't have a title. Wright says he'll get one this Thursday at the Clash. - They show an embarrassing promo of the NWO celebrating their birthday. What birthday? What the hell are they talking about? Tony says it's the one year anniversary of the NWO. The NWO started well over a year ago, and roughly last year at this time was another Clash in which Ric Flair kicked Hogan's ass and won their match by DQ when the Outsiders ran in to save his bald-no acting-no selling-no workrate-bony ass. I could see if this is supposed to be a cheap heat tactic by the NWO, but do the announcers have to play along? - JEFF JARRETT/EDDY GUERRERO (w/ Debra) vs. CHRIS BENOIT/STEVE MCMICHAEL Benoit and Guerrero start off fast, furious and stiff. Then Mongo tags in and everything goes to downhill. Things pick up a bit when Benoit tags back in. Mongo gets dumped to the floor and grabs the U.S. Title belt from Debra. He then knocks out Jarrett with it, Benoit covers, and Mongo knocks Eddy over the top rope as the ref counts to three. Huge pop from the crowd. - Nitro Girls. I hate to keep picking on them, but Kimberly is absolutely TERRIBLE! She is a half step behind the other girls, often botching most of the moves. There's another one who is even worse, but Kimberly is more noticeable because of her height. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - They replay Sting turning down the contract last week. - The Outsiders come to the ring. "NWO Country", "Too Sweeeet!", "4-Life", and "jobrones" covers most of what they said. - Nitro Girls and ... they're almost in synch! Come on ladies ... almost there ... almost there ... ah hell! The really bad one screwed it up again! - SYXXPAC vs. RIC FLAIR Flair has the match won, the NWO runs in, Hennig runs in to save Flair, Flair wins via DQ. As long as Nash is calling the shots in WCW, Syxx will never have to put any one over cleanly. - Mean Gene interviews J.J. Dillon and Nick Patrick. Dillon says WCW is confident with Patrick's recent controversial ruling (at Road Wild). Patrick then dumps on fellow referee Randy Anderson. Anderson comes out, but Dillon ends the interview before any bickering can start. Yup ... they did this a year ago too. Why steal angles from anyone else when they can recycle their own? At this rate I'd expect the NWO to dump Savage soon, for Luger to go up into the rafters, and for the Giant to rejoin the NWO sometime early next year. - ULTIMO DRAGON vs. LA PARKA (w/ Sonny Onoo) Dragon does a nice plancha off the top turnbuckle to the floor. La Parka does little. Interference by Sonny Onoo backfires and the Dragon wins with his submission/choke/sleeper. The ref calls for the bell like a little girl throwing a hissy-fit. - CURT HENNIG vs. THE GIANT Hennig actually goes toe-to-toe with the Giant, delivering some stiff chops and throwing him in the corner. The Giant starts tossing him around like a potato sack. The next few minutes are spent really manhandling Hennig, yet Hennig isn't ready to lay down. A high vertical suplex by the Giant is a nice surprise. He signals for the chokeslam when ... Eric Bischoff runs halfway to the ring, restraining order in hand, yelling "Fifty feet! Fifty feet!" He calls over Doug Dellinger and orders him to arrest the "big goof". Echoing EXACTLY what I said last week, Dellinger tells Bischoff that they will arrest the Giant ONLY when he violates the restraining order, not when Bischoff does. The Giant then approaches and Biscay turns to leave, but Larry Zbyszko has appeared at the other end of the aisle. Bischoff tries to escape through the crowd, but is caught by the Giant. (That, of course, would probably be a violation of a real restraining order, but Dellinger and the police do nothing). Either I called it, or someone at CNN Center has "Slobberknocker Central" bookmarked. What is nearly lost in all this is the hint that Hennig is NWO since Bischoff may in fact have been coming out to "help" him by getting the Giant arrested. You buy that? Nah, me neither. - J.J. Dillon again. He says he has a pretty good idea what Sting wants, but he-in essence-refuses to give it to him until Sting actually speaks. Sting comes out through the crowd and picks up a fan's sign at ringside which says "Hulk vs. Sting". Dillon is unimpressed, having already said that Sting has until the Clash to speak. - Another "paid for" NWO promo featuring a game of "pin-the-sticky-string- on-the-Dillon". Still embarrassing, and it promises to continue at the Clash of the Champions. - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE/LEX LUGER vs. THE OUTSIDERS With less than five minutes left to go in the show, Schiavone announces that they will run over again, billing it as "Nitro Plus". Kevin Nash, the laziest man in the sport (now that "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan has retired) lets Hall start things off. Hall wrestles almost the entire fifteen minute-or-so match, with Nash coming in every so often to do one move. Not to get off on a rant here, but just what the hell does Kevin Nash bring to this sport? What are his qualities? He's tall. That's it: he's tall, and he's willing to make a fool out of himself during interviews. He now shows less workrate than when he was Vinnie Vegas, and when pressed, he'll botch his interview lines. His last decent match was against the Undertaker at WrestleMania XII, which was nearly eighteen months ago. He can't ad-lib to save his life. He has shown a complete unwillingness to put anyone over cleanly (and isn't scheduled to do so until sometime in 1998-if even then). He let Vince McMahon build him up into the next Hulk Hogan, and he now holds that over Eric Bischoff's head, threatening to walk whenever he doesn't get his way. Between he and Hogan, they dominate half of the booking decisions made in WCW, and he's already started to make noise that maaaaybeeee WCW would be better off without Hogan. He's every bit as vain, temperamental and egotistical as Shawn Michaels is, yet far worse because he refuses to let go of his half of the World Tag Team Titles, all the while not-so-quietly clamoring for his eventual World Title reign and feud with Sting to be pushed up. At least Shawn Michaels had the decency to forfeit his two belts this year and "fake" a knee injury (if he even did-no one on the 'Net will give him the benefit of the doubt). Nash, meanwhile, managed to hold on to his title, all the while barely wrestling more times than Michaels did this year. Even on the few occasions that the Outsiders have had to lose a match, you damn well knew that it was Scott Hall that would be doing the job. Mark my words, some day the time will come for Nash to lay down for someone and you know what he'll do? He'll walk. Jump ship back to the WWF, maybe sitting out some contract time or a "no compete" period if necessary. McMahon would be a fool not to take him back, and Nash will immediately be back in the spotlight and title hunt. All the while he'll have feelers out looking into movie roles, commercials, or any other mainstream success he can get out of his time at the top (which he is already doing). Only this time he'll be smarter in Connecticut, and cut himself a better deal than before: one which guarantees him little ring time and a ton of escape clauses. And again that eventual time will come for him to lay down there as well and he'll take off again: maybe back to WCW, maybe out of the sport altogether. Five years from now fans will talk about him with all the hatred and venom they currently reserve for Hulk Hogan. I've cut him a lot of slack up till now because I, like everyone else, fell for the Diesel gimmick. I marked out, just like everyone else, when he shoved Vince McMahon around. But no more, bay-bee! It's strictly "what have you done for me lately?" time, Mr. Nash. It's time the smart fans stopped popping for him when he tells us he's "Too Sweeeeet!" and started booing his ass-or better yet, make no reaction whatsoever. Let him hear crickets the next time he points at his own groin. Start chanting "Undertaker killed you!" in his big cowardly lion face. Start chanting "Bret Hart!" the next time he and Hall play grab-ass in the ring during one of their time killing interviews. Whenever he finally fights the Giant, someone smuggle in a sign that says "The Giant's gonna carry you to a two star match!" Stop cheering for him just because you like the f**king NWO t-shirts! Nash could wrestle one of those t-shirts, and would still need a run-in by Syxx to win. But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. The match ends with an NWO run-in, which is somewhat balanced out by Flair and the Giant coming out. The show, (which ran about ten minutes over), ends with Schiavone yelling "It's WCW vs. NWO!" - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Is that it? Seriously, nothing happened. This one looked like outtakes from last week, or else someone yelled "do over!" and they decided to reshoot last week's show. What was glaringly obvious was what DIDN'T happen, or what we didn't see: - No Hogan. - No Arn Anderson, as was widely predicted. - No Sid, as was-again-widely predicted. And, in what continues to be a disturbing trend, no quality cruiserweight matches. WCW fans used to be able to claim that Nitro was better because it would have at least one decent cruiserweight match. Not anymore. WCW has destroyed the division, and may now bury it even further by putting the belt around Eddy Guerrero's waist (and in the process lower Guerrero's standing by devaluing him). Here's a run-down of the upcoming Clash of the Champions card: * Diamond Dallas Page/The Giant vs. Randy Savage/Scott Hall. * Ric Flair/Curt Hennig vs. Syxx/Konan. * Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael (I think). (U.S. Title). * Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho (Cruiserweight Title). * Alex Wright vs. Ultimo Dragon. (TV Title). * Stevie Richards vs. Raven. * Meng/Barbarian vs. Mortis/Wrath (I think). I'm not sure about the above matches. It seems that Lex Luger should be in there somewhere, and Kevin Nash is glaring in his absence. I think the Harlem Heat or the Steiners are scheduled as well. I think Guerrero has a good shot to win his match, and I fear that Wright may end up winning the TV belt as well. Other than that, the card looks like one big recipe filled with pointless matches and numerous run-ins. With Hogan not on the card, it looks like he may go this entire calendar year without wrestling a match on TBS, unless ... Have you heard TBS may start their own live show in November? It would air Thursday nights, live for two hours. TBS apparently thinks they can recreate the success of Nitro. With the already announced commitment to "beef up" WCW Saturday Night by showing the big stars more often, that now means WCW might run angles which continue on all three shows, and the fans will be forced to watch all of them. Nitro will set up the Thursday show, while the Thursday show in turn will set up the Saturday show and the next Nitro, with the whole cycle serving to set up the next PPV (which no one will watch). What's more, unless WCW starts taping WCW Saturday Night on Fridays, fans may be able to get a good idea what will happen every week on the Thursday show, since the "aftermath" will have already been taped two days before (WCW Saturday Night is currently taped on Tuesdays). On a somewhat related note, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: anyone saying that Bash at the Beach got a 1.01 buyrate is wrong. The actual number is closer to a 0.8 or less. Road Wild looks to do well below that. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Quick ECW Hardcore Heaven '97 Results (08/17/97): * Rick Rude interrupted Joey Styles at the start of the PPV, but was himself kicked out of the arena by Commissioner Todd Gordon (because he was no longer employed by ECW, and does not have a "valid manager's license"). Had Rude not left, Chris Candido would have been disqualified prior to the start of his match. * Taz defeated Chris Candido by submission with the Katihajime. Taz retains his ECW World Television Title. * Footage is shown from just before the show of the Insane Clown Posse in the ring. Before they could do anything, they are attacked by Rob Van Dam and Sabu. * Bam Bam Bigelow defeated Spike Dudley with a moonsault. Dudley had been cut open after being dropped on the top of the ringpost. Bigelow then threw Dudley into the crowd. * More footage from before the start of the PPV as the Sandman runs in to make the save for the Insane Clown Posse, but he himself receives a vicious beating at the hands of Sabu and Van Dam. Sandman is carried off in an ambulance. Later in the show they cut to a helicopter shot (the "Extreme" Chopper) with commentary by Lance Wright. Sandman apparently "commandeered" the ambulance and spent the better part of the show looking for the arena. Once he returned he was confronted by police. This all played out in the form of updates after each match leading up to the main event. * Rob Van Dam defeated Al Snow following the Van Daminator (chair kick to the face). Match went to the floor several times. * The Dudleys defeated PG-13. The Dudleys had been awarded the ECW World Tag Team Titles, and successfully defended them. Adult film star Jenna Jameson accompanied Joel Gertner and the Dudleys. * Tommy Dreamer defeated Jerry "The King" Lawler. Rick Rude, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Sunny and Beulah all interfered in the match. Back-and- forth action until the lights went out and Rick Rude appeared, plastering Tommy Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer kicked out of the pin attempt. Lights went out again and Jake Roberts appeared. He attacked both Dreamer AND Lawler. Dreamer again kicked out of the pin. Lights went out a final time and Sunny appeared. She sprayed something in Dreamer's eyes, but was jumped by Beulah. Dreamer tried to hit Lawler with a chair, but the King hid behind Beulah. Beulah gave him a low kick and Tommy was able to finish him off for the pin. Lawler had been busted open about thirty seconds into the match). * "The Franchise" Shane Douglas defeated Sabu and Terry Funk in the "Three Way Dance" to win the ECW World Heavyweight Title. Sabu put both Todd Gordon and Bill Alphonso through a table at once. Sabu was the first to be pinned, following a wild stretch of action involving tables, a section of ring barrier and a ladder. Sandman tried to interfere, but was waylaid by security. Sabu, after being pinned, leapt from the ring onto Sandman and the security force. Both Sandman and Sabu were taken away by police. Dory Funk Jr. ran in at one point, and many of the other wrestlers in the arena came out to watch the finish, which saw Douglas pin Funk. Douglas was then propositioned by Joel Gertner to join his Dudley stable. Douglas ordered Candido and Bigelow to attack, then the Triple Threat left the ring. Show ended with a massive brawl involving the Dudleys and the rest of the ECW wrestlers, including Ballz Mahoney, Axl Rotten, and finally New Jack and BOTH Eliminators. Final shot of the show had some of the faces-Terry Funk included-roaming through the crowd. WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Atlantic City, New Jersey. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Due to a scheduling goof-up I nearly missed RAW this week. As it was I just managed to get a tape in and start recording as the intro was playing. If they showed anything before that, I missed it. - Vince McMahon interviews "Ravishing" Rick Rude. Rude says he is an insurance salesman. He sells a lot of different kinds of policies, and if you supply the bucks, he'll supply the bang. He goes on to refuse to answer just who paid off the premium last week, and instead reels out a number of insurance related clichés. (Imagine the way Irwin R. Shyster used to talk and you'll get the idea). What is made pretty clear by the interview is that Rick Rude is back, and he's there to stay. - They show a clip of Shawn Michaels having a real chin-wag (heh) with Commissioner Slaughter. Shawn apparently wants out of tonight's main event match against the Undertaker and Mankind. - OWEN HART/THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. THE LEGION OF DOOM A relatively short match which was to the LOD's benefit. They started off in control, putting Owen through an almost non-stop series of moves. The Bulldog then took over and the same happened in reverse. Just as the LOD starts to mount a comeback, the Godwinns do a run-in, with Henry knocking out Animal with a slop bucket behind the ref's back. Owen covers for the pin. He and Davey Boy take a powder, leaving the LOD and the pig farmers to duke it out. - Mankind says that despite his differences with the Undertaker, he may be the only man the Undertaker can trust. - Shawn delivers comments from the back, indicating that his heel turn is not yet complete. He says everything up till now has been a mistake, and if the WWF (and McMahon) keeps painting him into a corner, they will face the consequences. Could Shawn be the one who eventually lays McMahon out? - Sunny comes to the ring to introduce the next match. - FLASH FUNK vs. BRIAN CHRISTOPHER Christopher accidentally comes out to Flash's music. They then run pre- taped comments of him saying he wants to prove he's more than a light heavyweight, and has thus challenged a heavyweight. Nice match. Both men looked good. Christopher, despite the odds, has the match well in hand. He climbs to the top to deliver his top turnbuckle legdrop finisher. Lawler then pops up and yells for Brian to use the piledriver instead (which Lawler had earlier said would make him a better wrestler if he started using it). This distracts Brian long enough to allow Flash to get up and hit the ropes, dropping Brian down across the ropes. Funk then pushes him into position and nails the 450 splash off the top, then covers for the pin. Christopher gives his old man an earful after the loss. Hey ... Flash Funk won! - Comments from the Undertaker warning Mankind to keep "in line". - Quick shot of Hunter Hearst Helmsley yelling at Sgt. Slaughter in the back. - KEN SHAMROCK vs. THE SULTAN (w/ the Iron Sheik) Shamrock again looks good as he fairly easily dismantles the Sultan. The Iron Sheik climbs in the ring and Shamrock belly-to-belly suplexes him. Shamrock wins by bending the Sultan's leg back and sticking in his ear. - They start to set up the Steve Austin interview which Jim Ross conducted, but are interrupted by the Nation of Domination. Ross is chosen to do the interview. In short, Faarooq says Ahmed Johnson was dumped by the NOD because he still is a white man at heart. Rocky then steps to the plate and says "I got three words: 'Die Rocky Die!'" Rocky says that once he heard that, and once he experienced the racism at the hands of the WWF and the fans, he realized he would never get respect by kissing babies and helping old ladies across the street. He calls the fans "pieces of crap" and "jackass"-es. He calls the DOA the real racists in the WWF. Crush appears on the TitanTron and challenges the NOD to come down to the parking garage for a little four-on-four rumble. The NOD run out of the ring, apparently accepting. On the way to break they show Dustin Rhodes, his wife Terry and their daughter Dakota running along the beach, playing in the surf. Ahhhh ... how pwecious! - Helmsley says that he once again must "do the time" for Shawn Michaels crimes (presumably referring to the MSG incident). They then cut away to the parking lot. The DOA await as the NOD charge in. Kama is tossed onto the back of a parked car, shattering the rear window. Moments later Los Boricuas tear off riding the DOA's motorcycles. They chase after, ending the brawl. - BRIAN PILLMAN vs. JESSE JAMMES Jammes gives that scrawny muscular guy a hug. You know the one ... the tan guy with the buzzcut and glasses. Ivan, I think his name is. Or Vladimir ... something like that. Pillman has the match won with a DDT when Goldust runs in and elbowdrops Jammes. The ref has no choice but to DQ Pillman due to outside interference. Goldust says he just wanted to see Pillman in the dress one more time. Pillman grabs a mic and challenges Goldust to one more match. Pillman says if he loses, he'll leave the WWF forever. If he wins, he gets Marlena as his personal assistant for thirty days. Goldust says no way. No way in hell. Pillman continues, saying he knows Terry very well, and that Goldust's daughter is his "love child". Goldust rushes the ring as Marlena/Terry accepts the challenge on Goldust's behalf. Goldust can't believe it, and asks her why she did that? - Comments from Vader. He's gonna hurt the Patriot: hurt him real bad. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - THE PATRIOT vs. VADER An okay match, which heavily focused on Vader in offense. Bret Hart comes out, allowing Vader to initially get the upper hand. Patriot makes the expected comeback though, and lands the full nelson powerbomb ("Old Glory") for the win. After the match Vader jumps him as he's jawjacking with Bret Hart. Vader sets him up for the Vaderbomb, but Bret moves in to cover the Partiot's carcass with the Canadian flag. Vader takes offense to this (like a grizzly bear getting mad at a coyote who has stolen his salmon away). Vader picks up the Canadian flag and snaps the pole over his leg (drawing a big pop from the crowd). - Michael Cole interviews Bret Hart in the lockerroom. Hart tells Vader "anytime ... anywhere!" - They finally play the Steve Austin interview. I had planned on doing a transcript, but was beaten to the punch, and received an offer via E-Mail from Sean Shannon the right to use his. Credit for this goes to Sean Shannon: ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (The scene is Steve Austin's hotel room. Jim Ross, who is interviewing Austin, is never in plain sight. A basket full of fresh fruit is on a table behind Austin.) [Jim Ross] "Well Steve, I want to thank you for allowing us to come to your hotel room here, I know, uh, you've got a very busy and a very crucial 24-hour period here in Philadelphia, seeing a specialist tomorrow about your neck, but thanks for giving us a little of your time." [Steve Austin] "Well you're welcome for the time, but if you're here to ask a bunch of questions you might as well start asking, otherwise I'll throw your ass out the window. A-a-a-and to come to the hotel room, this ain't a hotel room that I would stay at! You know, when I got hurt at Summerslam, when I got dumped on my head, no one called me and said, 'Hey, Steve, you okay?' No one ever sent a card, nothin' like that, not that I would expect it, but at least I would have, you know, maybe a call just to see what the hell's goin' on with the hottest damn wrestler in the world, but I got nothin'! So the WWF sees fit to put me in a room like this, with all this fruit and trash like this, you want a pear? (Austin throws a pear into Jim Ross's lap, but Ross makes no effort to catch it.) You want an apple? (Austin throws an apple.) You want, you, you want a banana (Austin throws a banana) or somethin', here, make yourself at home, man!" (Austin tosses the entire fruit basket at Ross, its contents spilling out in all directions.) [Jim Ross] "Well ..." [Steve Austin] "But if you got questions to ask, you go ahead and ask 'em, 'cause I, I'm gettin' a little tired of you!" [Jim Ross] "I'd like you to address three things, if you don't mind." [Steve Austin] "Sure." [Jim Ross] "One is Summerslam, your paralysis after being driven in the mat from the Tombstone by Owen Hart, the second thing is what the doctors have told you, and thirdly, and lastly, what you perceive your future to be here in the WWF." [Steve Austin] "Well, let's start with Summerslam. The bottom line is I'm the Intercontinental champion. Right?" [Jim Ross] "Right." [Steve Austin] "Well, tha ... tha, that's that. But aside from that, at the end of the match, close to the end of the match when, when, uh, Owen Hart dumped me on my head - you figure I weight 245, 250, bam, you get planted in the mat, shit happens!  And that's, for basically about 50 seconds there I couldn't move my arms or my legs, and I didn't know if I ever would move again! I-it felt pretty damn scary, so, um, you know, I'm through with that, looking past that, I've watched that on tape probably 30 or 40 times and it still sucks every time I see it! But I'm over it, and I'm movin' around, and I'm happy about that!  But, uh, Owen Hart has got hell to pay! You get dumped on your head, you get in the position that I was put in, it ain't worth a damn! And I, I'm just, uh, a little bit pissed off, and boy, I'm not a little pissed off, I'm a whole lot pissed off, but you know what they say, it's better to be pissed off than pissed on!  But Owen Hart's got hell to pay when I come back, and as you say, you've got another question, what was the other question?" [Jim Ross] "Wha - the doctors, you, you, you've seen several doctors ..." [Steve Austin] "I've seen a couple of doctors, and wa-wa-one guy said, uh, uh, 'Maybe you should do something else.' Well, Steve Austin doesn't do anything else, what I do is wrestle, and I'm the best wrestler in the world, and can't nobody tell me different! So I'm supposed to see the top guy, uh, the top spine guy in the country tomorrow here in Philadelphia, and see what he has to say, and it doesn't matter really what he says, the, the, uh, end result, the decision's mine! He can sit there and say, 'Don't do this, try not to do this,' whatever, but the bottom line is I'm the one that makes the decision, so I'll sit there, rethink things, and go from there. But, uh, regardless of what he says, Owen Hart's got hell to pay!  You know, when you do something to wha-he, he, when you do what he did to me, you know, wha- i-if it's my last step in life you can damn well bet he's gonna get the shit kicked out of him one way or the other, and that's it. You know, I don't know when, where or how, or what, but it's gonna happen. As far as my future - don't sit there and try to butt in because I'm talkin', right?  Okay, as far as my future goes, hell, like I said, I'll listen to what the doctor says, but I'm gonna do what I want, the future for Steve Austin as far as I'm concerned is to put on his black trunks and black boots and show up, Im'ma take a few days off, I'll probably take a few weeks off, because, you know, when you're sittin' there at the house, you watch a film of, uh, you gettin' paralyzed for another 50 seconds, you watch that 30 or 40 times, you know, it kinda, you, you get a little depressed!  So I drank a few cases of beer, I'll tell you exactly what I did. I just ride around in my Ford, drink a few beers and sit there and think about it. But, uh, I'm gonna go see this doctor and see what he has to say, and, but as far as I'm concerned, the only way I can see my future is to be Stone Cold Steve Austin, continue on right through the top in the WWF, just like I've done since I've been here! All the damn bureaucratic red tape, all the bullshit I've been through, it's taken me eight years to get where I, where I'm at right now! If you think for one split second that a piledriver's gonna stop me ... it ain't gonna happen. Did it slow me down?  Damn right, but it ain't gonna stop me. Ground Zero, Sub-Zero, whatever the hell you wanna call it, Louisville, I'll be there! Whether it's to, uh ... hand the belt over, if I decide maybe it's time to hang it up, I'll do that! I don't think that's gonna happen, I think when, uh, Ground Zero rolls around, you'll see Stone Cold - don't wipe your nose, it pisses me off - you'll see Stone Cold Steve Austin - and don't smile - you'll see Stone Cold Steve Austin in a black pair of t-trunks and a black pair of boots, and I'll be out there whippin' somebody's ass! I don't know what kind of match it is, it's some kind of little, uh, four tag teams of some kind of shit like that, is that right?" [Jim Ross] "That's right." [Steve Austin] "Okay, well, I'll be there! And-duh-duh-duh-wh-wh-wh-wh ... what gets me is, is that Steve Austin's in a new level now, because, you know, if, if I was pissed off before, I'm a lot more pissed off now and that makes me even more dangerous, not a liability, and that's the bottom line! You got anything else you wanna say?" [Jim Ross] "No sir." [Steve Austin] "Then get the hell out." (Austin points to the exit.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once again, many thanks to Sean Shannon for this transcript. I'd advise everyone to check out his site-"Sean Shannon Productions"- at the following address: http://www.glasscity.net/users/sshannon/index.htm He has other Steve Austin interviews, and it is an all around top-notch website. (By the way, the profanity in the above interview was bleeped as it was aired-except for the last "pissed", which somebody missed. The earlier instances of "pissed" were bleeped). - SHAWN MICHAELS/HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY (w/ Chyna) vs. UNDERTAKER/MANKIND Shawn does his little dance in front of Chyna, trying to draw out a reaction. There was none (though I thought I saw her try and hide a smirk). Mankind fends off both HHH and Michaels, and the two bump machines are soon bouncing around like ping pong balls. The Undertaker tags in and Shawn and Hunter argue as to whom will face him. Hunter gets the nod. Shawn and Helmsley try some double-team tricks, with Michaels down on the floor holding the Undertaker's boot as Helmsley works him over. The Undertaker ends up sending Helmsley over the top rope, onto Michaels. Shawn then catches the Undertaker with a Superkick on the apron (into the ring) which grazes the Undertaker's head. Only then does Shawn tag in and lay in a few shot. He tags Hunter back in, but is caught by the throat by the Undertaker and tossed into the corner. Helmsley is knocked out of the ring. Shawn slides to the floor and signals for Rick Rude. Rude strolls out as they go to break. Hunter and Mankind are going at it. Chyna interferes by tripping Mankind when he's in the corner. Shawn then tags in and he hits Mankind with a flying forearm. Moments later he tags Helmsley back in and the two do a great move where Hunter clotheslines Mankind just as Michaels clips his knee from behind. Mankind is then sent out of the ring onto the steel steps. They then engage in some textbook double-teaming of Mankind in the corner, keeping the ref occupied by drawing the Undertaker into the ring. Following a snap suplex, Shawn drops an elbow off the top turnbuckle. Shawn the signals for the Superkick. Mankind messes the move up a bit by not turning soon enough, forcing Shawn to make an adjustment. Shawn throws the kick, but Mankind catches it, spins him around, and applies the Mandible Claw. Helmsley comes in for the save and starts to apply the Pedigree, but Mankind gets out of it by pulling Hunter's legs out from under him. Hunter then kicks Mankind into the corner. Mankind hits the buckles, is stunned, and drops-headfirst-onto Helmsley's groin. (This was a really nicely done sequence of moves). Mankind makes the tag and the Undertaker goes to work on Helmsley. Shawn takes a breather on the floor. The Undertaker clotheslines Helmsley over the top rope, then grabs Michaels by the throat. Shawn pokes him in the eye. He then throws a punch, but the Undertaker blocks it and nails Shawn, sending him off the apron onto the safety rail. Mankind and Helmsley duke it out on the far apron. The Undertaker, meanwhile, has followed Michaels to the floor to lay in more punishment. Rick Rude sneaks up from behind with a chair, but the Undertaker spins around and backs him off. Rude drops the chair. Rude climbs into the ring and the Undertaker follows. Shawn has grabbed the chair by now. Helmsley, backing into the ring on the other side, crosses paths with Rude. Helmsley spins just in time to receive a chokeslam from the Undertaker. Enter Shawn with the chair. The Undertaker turns and Shawn PLASTERS him with the chair, nearly folding it in half. A quick swipe with the left hand (hmmm) and the Undertaker is gushing blood from the forehead. Shawn measure him for a second shot, but pauses when he sees the blood. The Undertaker is slow to get up. A second shot with the chair and he goes back down. The bell rings, signaling the DQ. Helmsley and Michaels look over the Undertaker, both displaying looks of fear (as in "holy s**t man ... what did we do?") The Undertaker sits up and Michaels, Helmsley and Rude all head for the hills. The Undertaker staggers in pursuit as they go to commercial. Back from the break, the show only lasts about another minute as they show the bloody, bent chair, and a couple of slo-mo replays of the chair shot. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: The new later hour is already paying off, with a profanity laden Steve Austin interview (albeit censored somewhat) and a bladejob by the Undertaker. A really good RAW, but I did have one problem with the WWF this week. RAW will not be on the next two Mondays. Shouldn't the WWF have mentioned this? They hyped the "Saturday Night's Main Event" house show in Chicago this Saturday. It will not be televised live, but will in fact serve as the taping for at least one of the two preemption's. Raw will instead air next week Friday (August 29th), and the following Friday (September 5th). RAW returns live the following Monday (with a post-PPV show), and will then be taped the following night (Tuesday, September 9th) which will air on Monday the 15th. The following week, September the 22nd, will be the huge RAW from Madison Square Garden, which is already rumored to be at least three hours long. Tuesday, September 23rd, will again be a taping for the following Monday, the 29th. It's a little annoying that we've seen the last live WWF show for this month, and there are only two (three counting the PPV) next month. I'm tempted to try and avoid reading any results for the Chicago show, but I don't see how I can do it without giving up the 'Net for the next two weeks, and that ain't happening! What is my take on the Rick Rude situation? Simple, he has left ECW and has returned to the WWF. He won't wrestle, but will instead have a role much like the Honky Tonk Man, where he just serves as a name from the past to keep the fans interested. Where does this leave the WWF/ECW "working agreement"? WHAT "working agreement"? They keep saying there isn't one, and I'm inclined to agree. At best, the two organizations are maintaining a mutual relationship in which they may occasionally trade talent, hype each other's PPV's, and so on. We may see a future crosspromotional angle, but don't hold your breath. What about Jake Roberts and Sunny, you ask? Why were they at the ECW PPV? Because 1) ECW brought in Roberts, who was unemployed, and 2) Sunny is the "significant other" of Chris Candido, and would have been there anyway. So where is Sid? Who knows (and some might say "who cares?"). With his bad back, susceptibility to the flu and car accidents, and his penchant for summer softball, Sid may have wrested his last big-time match. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: I've already decided to skip Ground Zero, mainly for economic reasons. I've already gotten the last three WWF PPV's, as well as Hardcore Heaven. That's over $100 for four shows which only offered about a half dozen matches total which even came close to blowing me away. I'm probably making a mistake by missing Michaels/Undertaker, but so be it. Maybe I can talk someone into trading me a copy for Hardcore Heaven. Or SummerSlam. (Or Canadian Stampede, or King of the Ring).You could fit two of the above on an 8 hour tape, you know. Hardcore Heaven and SummerSlam for Ground Zero? Okay, I'm rambling. I've also no intention of getting Fall Brawl. The main event, frankly, is meaningless, and no undercard WCW could even put together right now could entice me to pay $30. I'm thinking of getting whichever PPV Hogan does fight Sting at, which would be Halloween Havoc at the earliest. My personal guess is that Sting will be denied a match with Hogan since he's not any kind of contender currently. That will force Sting to come back for World War 3 and win the 60 Man Battle Royal (which usually earns the winner a title shot). Sting would then get his chance at Starrcade. I'm also looking on getting Survivor Series as my next WWF PPV, though we'll have to wait and see how the October In Your House shapes up. While there's been almost no movement in WCW's angles over the last month, the WWF has really mixed things up, and have opened up a lot of options for themselves to play out over the rest of the year. I assume the Tag Team Titles will change hands at Ground Zero, meaning either Owen and the Bulldog will have them (which will please the workrate fans) or the LOD will win them (which will please everyone else). Austin will either be back to defend the IC belt, or he'll vacate it and we'll have a tournament-which could be pretty hot right about now. Imagine Michaels, Helmsley, Marc Mero, Vader, Mankind (or Dude Love), Owen Hart, the Bulldog, Rocky Maivia, Ahmed Johnson, Faarooq, Savio Vega, the Patriot, Goldust, Brian Pillman and Flash Funk ALL being possible contestants. The WWF could fill the October IYH PPV with just an IC Title tournament, an LOD/Godwinns match for the tag straps, and a Bret Hart/Undertaker rematch (assuming the Undertaker hasn't been "injured" by Kane by then). Or Hart vs. Vader. Save Hart/Michaels for Survivor Series, and that only leaves one more IYH to kill before the Royal Rumble, where I expect Steve Austin to make a grand return and win, earning him the title shot with Bret Hart at WrestleMania 14. How does that sound? Anyone have any idea where Herb Kunze has gone? His server (destination- online.com) seems to have gone blooey. Ratings are in: Nitro received a 4.0, while RAW got a 3.2. RAW saw a strong increase in each of their hours over last week, while Nitro improved their second hour greatly. In the head-to-head hour Nitro had something like a 4.3, while RAW still did well at a 2.9. RAW jumped to over a 3.4 in their second hour. RAW's move to a later hour has proven to be beneficial to both shows. As always, these are the overnight numbers, and will go down as they are recalculated in the next several days. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Week's Winner: RAW. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1997 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of Internet Access, Inc. Volume One, Number 92 of the "Monday Night Recap", August 18th, 1997.