[RESULTS/OPINION] WCW Monday Nitro/WWF RAW is WAR (05/05/97) WCW Monday Nitro: Live. One Hour. Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mike Tenay. - They start off with footage from the tail end of last week's show, where Piper delays in coming to Ric Flair's aid in an attack at the hands of the New World Order. They say they will try and find the answer to why that happened this week. Cut to the desk where Piper, Flair and NFL'er Kevin Greene are waiting. Schiavone asks the question and hands him the mic. Before Piper can speak, a banner reading "Tradition Bites - NWO" drops down behind the announcing team. Greene goes over and tears that down, but another one drops down in front of Piper, blocking him from view. Piper and Flair tear that one down and Piper yells "Enough!" The group heads to the ring as NWO leaflets begin to fall from the rafters. Intro runs. Piper says that when he saw Flair being beaten, he figured it was only three on one, so Flair should have been doing okay. He then mentions the NWO's demand to recieve 75% of the purse for appearing on the PPV. Piper says he doesn't carry a purse. (No skirt jokes please ... it's a kilt). James J. Dillon enters the ring and says that he realizes that the 75% thing bothered Piper (because Piper has six kids to feed), but that Bischoff had signed some "sweet deals", and that the NWO would indeed get the 75%. Piper would have to make do with 25%, and that if he didn't show, he would be in breach of his contract. "You gotta show up, and you gotta have your head on straight!" "I have never had my head on straight my whole life!" Piper replies. Flair grabs the mic and says he doesn't know about Nash and Hall, but Syxx is his. - PUBLIC ENEMY vs. HUGH MORRUS/KONAN (w/ Jimmy Hart) The P.E. bring out two tables. Konan and Morrus bring out one as well. They show a clip of the match Morrus and Konan interrupted two weeks ago between the P.E. and the Steiner Brothers. Tonight's match is payback for that. (This is what happens in a tag team division in which the title belts are not part of the general mix of things). Just a number of table spots with brawling in between them to set them up. Jimmy Hart is the first one set up on a table on the floor, but Rocco Rock is clotheslined by Konan before he can go over the top rope to put Hart through it. Konan is then set on the bottom table of a two table set-up, but is pulled away by Hart as Grungs goes through the top table (he and the table falling off the bottom one, barely damaging it). A table is then propped up in a corner of the ring. Rocc is able to avoid being tossed into it. He takes down Konan and Morrus by ducking a double clothesline and hitting a springboard moonsault off the ropes. Rocco then sets up the table in the center of the ring and lays Konan on it. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, but is stopped by Morrus. Morrus suplexes Rocco off the top, through Konan and the table. Morrus weakly covers Rocco for the three count, and all three men play up the "carnage" of the move. The Dungeon gets the win. - REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. SYXX (w/ the New World Order) Mysterio is wearing his Spider-man mask, and he crawls partway to the ring, then shoots "webs" (party streamers) from his hand. Goofy. Syxx comes to the ring in street clothes. They show a clip of Mysterio's last match with Syxx. This is the return match. The ref spends a moment trying to get Hall and Nash out of the ring. Syxx uses this distraction to catch Mysterio off guard with a kick to the head. Syxx pounds on him until he slumps down in the corner. Syxx backs up, plays to the crowd a bit, then charges, intending to land a butt splash (followed by his obscene looking "bucking bronco" move). Mysterio tucks in his legs up and slams his feet into Syxx's googlies. Mysterio then pounds on Syxx, raining blows down upon his head. Nash starts to enter the ring and Mysterio hits him with a dropkick. The same with Hall. Nash reenters and the ref goes over to stop him. Hall then is able to catch Mysterio and plant him with a Razor's Edge (now dubbbed the "NWO Drop", formerly referred to as the "Outsider's Edge"). Syxx waves Hall out and slaps the Buzzkiller submission on Mysterio. The ref checks and, seeing Mysterio out, calls for the bell. Out comes J.J. Dillon, with former referee Nick Patrick in tow. Almost right behind them comes Eric Bischoff and several other NWO members. Syxx, although he has won, has yet to relese the hold. Dillon orders him to let go, threatening him with a reversal of the decision. Bischoff gets on a mic and asks what Dillon thinks he's doing since he has "no power here ... no stroke!" He points at Syxx and says "There's the real power!" Syxx lets go the hold and yells in Dillon's face "If you think you're going to pull the same crap here that you pulled for McMahon, you've got another thing coming! Enough!" Nash adds "I had enough of you in New York, so don't even get in my face because you've got one coming, punk!" Hall adds a word or two that isn't picked up by the mic. Dillon, for his part, just stands there quietly and takes it all. - Lee Marshall phones in from Baltimore, Maryland. - "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan comes out, trailing Bischoff behind him. Hogan says the "Wolf Pack" has been taking care of business while he was out in his land making money. Hogan says that although everyone has been calling him out, he wants the "Big Dog" and challenges Sting to come out for a match. The crowd goes wild, the camera spins about, panning up to the ceiling to spot him. Sting is nowhere to be seen, and doesn't show. Hogan says he thought so, and adds "Once a God, always a God!" - LORD STEVEN REGAL vs. MENG (w/ the Dungeon of Doom) Regal comes out ready for business, not wearing his robe and foregoing his usual slow entry. He and Meng trade blows for about twenty seconds until the ring is surrounded by Jimmy Hart, Kevin Sullivan and Miss Jacquelyn. Regal spots Sullivan and jumps him at ringside. The ref immediately calls for the bell. Regal and Sullivan go at it for a few seconds, then Meng slaps on the Throat "I swear it's not a choke" Nerve Hold. Sullivan, yelling something about "Benoit", and Jacquelyn try to pry Meng off as he makes funny faces at Regal. Regal slumps to the ground and Meng lets go. Regal, seeming determined to undersell the move, then jumps right back up and starts with a few more shots at Sullivan and Meng. Meng reapplies the hold. This time Sullivan stops Jacquelyn from pulling meng off. I'm assuming Regal was credited with the win, though the match may have been declared a "no contest". - They show a highlights package of Diamond Dallas Page. Page and Kimberly then come out for an interview. Page relates some ofhis backround, and says Spring Stampede was a defining moment for him. He says some moments are defined by men, and some men are defined by the moment. Kimberly says that she is in no way obsessed with Randy "Macho Man" Savage. She says he has a "one track mind, but the traffic on it is real light!" Savage "Ooooooh Yeaaaaaah!"'s over a house mic from amongst the crowd and asks Kimberly to stop phoning and writing to him. Page responsds with two words: "Diamond Cutter!" Savage says he'll come down there and kick his ass. - JEFF JARRETT (w/ Debra) vs. ALEX WRIGHT Wright reacts violently to a fan grabbing at him (enough so that Schiavone and Heenan discuss it). Strange match. Wright does very little to sell Jarrett's moves. Wright gets his throat draped over the second rope and Jarrett drops on him. Wright just lays there and casually scratches his nose. He then slowly gets up and waits for Jarrett to do his next move. Jarrett whips him into the ropes. Wright does a cartwheel around Jarrett's backdrop attempt and dropkicks him, following with a ton of punches and kicks, driving Jarrett into the corner. Wright then does the "Das Wunderkind" dance for the crowd, swiveling his hips suggestively at Debra. Jarrett comes over and clips him from behind, then applies the Figure Four. Wright shakes his head "no", then lays back and begins flopping up and down (like guys usually do as they try to break free from the Figure Four). The ref interprets this as a "yes" and calls for the bell. Wright then oversells the move by being barely able to get out of the ring. The ref follows him out to see if he's okay and needs help getting to the back. (This all happens in the backround as Jarrett is celebrating). The entire match lasted two minutes. They finish by showing a brief clip of Steve "Mongo" McMichael spitting at Reggie White, then the two scuffling on the mat, from a few weeks ago. - They show clips of NASCAR racer Mark Martin, who one some race on Sunday, and will appear on Nitro in two weeks with a "huge" announcement. I'm guessing he will be the next driver for the WCW racing car, or something similar. Who cares? This stuff didn't sell last year. - GLACIER vs. LIZMARK JR. My knowledge of Mexican wrestling is pretty weak, but the Lizmark name is familiar. I don't know if it's him, or his father that I've heard of (probably the father). I was actually interested in seeing this guy. Glacier gets in the ring, they few exchange a move or two, then Glacier kicks him in the head and pins him. Match lasts less than thirty seconds. As he celebrates, the lights go out and Mortis, along with his manager James Vandenberg, storm the ring. Mortis pounds on him for a bit, then Glacier takes over. Vandenberg's other Power Ranger enters the ring. Glacier continues to beat on Mortis ... and continues ... and continues. After about a minute of uninterrupted pummeling, Glacier whips Mortis across the ring. Mortis reverses it and throws Glacier into the arms of his fellow Master of the Universe. The big Transformer drops Glacier to the mat with a Sidewalk Slam. After a few big knees from the Mortal Kombat refugee, Mortis hits him with Flatliner off the second rope. He and his Beetleborg companion then drape him across the rope and beat on his back with a rubber skull staff. The two VR Troopers then stand on the corner turnbuckles and stare at the crowd, desperately hoping they look cool. During the match (what there was of it) Schiavone mentions that Lex Luger was attacked and injured by the NWO in Japan over the weekend. He will appear in tonight's main event, though. - HARLEM HEAT (w/ Sherri) vs. THE GIANT/LEX LUGER Luger, due to his injury, cannot take part in the match. The Giant brings out his replacement partner: Diamond Dallas Page. Page only takes a few steps toward the ring when he notices Randy Savage standing off to the side with Elizabeth. Page heads after him. Savage hides behind Liz. Page almost grabs him, but is himself whacked from behind by "Hollywood" Hogan, who has one of Savage's aluminum crutches. Savage grabs Kimberly as Hogan continues to smack the crutch across Page's back. The scene shifts to the ring where the rest of the NWO is beating the stuffing out of the Giant and Harlem Heat. The Giant is being beaten with Savage's other crutch. Nash spends a moment choking him with it. Ric Flair, Roddy Piper and Kevin Greene charge the ring. They too fall prey to the gang. Greene is shoved intom a corner and is stomped on by Scott Hall and Scott Norton. Syxx, showing that the rumors of backstage tension have probably been blown way out of proportion, slaps a Figure Four on Flair. Piper is mauled by Hall and Nash, with Nash slapping on a sleeperhold. Hogan and Savage then take over the announcer's booth. Hogan asks where Sting is. He yells for Nash to "Choke him out, Big Man!" Both he and Savage express their admiration for the Outsiders. Savage wraps things up by saying that Kimberly has fallen for him. "She kissed me, too!" adds Hogan as the show goes off the air. - Next week's main event: None announced, but expect something involving Steve McMichael and Reggie White. Comments: While the excitement level was up from last week, this show featured even worse wrestling! Six matches, and here's how they came down: * #1. P.E. vs. D.o.D. Lasted about four minutes. Only watchable match. * #2. Mysterio vs. Syxx. Two minutes at the most. Squash. * #3. Regal vs. Meng. Thirty seconds, max. * #4. Jarrett vs. Wright. Less than two minutes. Squash. * #5. Glacier vs. Lizmark Jr. Thirty seconds. Squash * #6. Heat vs. Giant/Page. No match. Only nine to ten minutes of actual wrestling action. The other thirty-five minutes were interviews, highlights recaps and extracurricular brawling. About fifteen minutes of the show was commercials. The entire show actually ran two or three minutes less than an hour as instead of starting early, it started at the top of the hour. It ended just a bit early. Piper's only respons to his inaction of last week was a joke. In case you hadn't heard the rumor, he and Flair may fight each other some time in the near future. I may be reading too much into some of these matches. but I thought I saw a lot of "no-selling" and general lack of cooperation in many of the matches. The Regal and Wright matches in particular. There was no excuse to squash Lizmark Jr. the way they did. They better not dare to try and bring him back and promote him as a "future superstar" after this because I, for one, won't buy it. Since the whole point of the match was to have him get attacked, they could just as easily had them run in during the match. They made a big deal over how Glacier was undefeated on Nitro. A run-in would have given him a DQ victory, continuing that streak. Another take on this whole thing is that is wasn't bad enough that they had to insulate Glacier from the rest of WCW, (so much so that they had to "invent" enemies for him), but now they've had to ship in foreign jobbers just for him. Alex Wright looks to be turning heel. Reactions to this may be E-Mailed to "whothehellcares@idontgiveadamn.com" ... or WCW. This show really came off as the second half of the show started last week. Remove the copyright credits from the bottom of the screen at the end of last week's show and both could be watched back-to-back as a single episode. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live. HOUR ONE: Hosted by Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Highlights recap from last week. As far as RAW is concerned, Nitro can keep their viewers for their last three minutes. How nice of them! Intro runs. The Hart Foundation comes out: Bret, Owen, the British Bulldog, Brian Pillman and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. Bret thanks all his fans around the world for their support-especially those up in Canada. He says something to his American fans, attributing a quote to Shawn Michaels. Whatever he then says is blanked out by the censors (three second delay again this week). He thanks his old friend Pillman for his "heartfelt words, and inspiration" last week. He thanks his brother Owen for dedicating his IC Title victory to him. He thanks his brother-in-law Davey Boy (the Bulldog) for beating up the Undertaker. He thanks his "best pal" the Anvil for saving him from Steve Austin last week. He says the fans would have liked to see he, Bret, thrown off that stage last week, because we're a "sick, depraved" society. He doubts that Austin will show up this week. He says we American fans are jealous of him and his family because they have "all the gold!" Owen steps forward, displaying all the title belts and Slammy Awards. "We even have gold in the Anvil's teeth!" He asks Pillman to explain the Golden Rule. "Do unto others ... and enjoy it!" He refers to his Hart Foundation as the "best pack of lions to battle violence in the world. This is the 'Excellence of Execution Dream Team!'" He wraps up by saying that now that they've destroyed Steve Austin, they're going to destroy another one of our idols: Shawn michaels. He notes that Shawn, who has a "bad leg", has had no problem running into the ring with that chair the last few weeks. After the commercial they show the Foundation in the back, keeping an eye open for either Michaels or Austin. - AHMED JOHNSON vs. ROCKABILLY (w/ the Honky Tonk Man) They run a clip of Flash Funk being knocked out with the guitar last week. Ahmed is wearing dark pants instead of his usual tight, wedgie inducing shorts (thank God). Faarooq pops up via split-screen to announce that later in the show Crush will fight three thugs that Faarooq himself personally hired, just to show Ahmed how it's done. Ahmed pretty much tosses Rockabilly around at will. He stops to play to the crowd a bit. When he moves back in, Billy, who is on the apron, catches him with a Stunner, dropping Ahmed's throat across the top rope. Billy takes over with a series of stomps, then goes to work on the throat. Billy chokes him across the second rope, then slaps on a sleeper. Before he can put Ahmed out, he releses the hold and "Shake, Rattle and Rolls" for the crowd. Honky Tonk jumps up on the apron, drawing the ref over. Billy hurries over and grabs the guitar, intending to smash it over Ahmed's head. Ahmed kicks him in the gut and gets the guitar, smashing it over Rockabilly's head. Usually the guitar just breaks amidst a puff of dust: this time it virtually disintegrated! The ref see this and DQ's him, giving the win to Rockabilly. They cut to the back where the Hart Foundation continues to search for Michaels. Having come across a dressing room, they accost Bob Holly and a pair of jobbers, demanding to know where Michaels is. The scrubs haven't seen him. - The Hart Foundation is now in a stairwell. They find another dressing room, but no Shawn. The Anvil declares that Shawn's hiding from them. - They run Ken Shamrock highlights package number two. Ken's father comments on how Ken overcame his anger as a youth. Includes footage of Shamrock and his family at a little league game, and an outing in a park. - VADER vs. GOLDUST (w/ Marlena) Jim Ross announces that the "No Hold Barred" match between Vader and Shamrock at "Cold Day in Hell" must have either a knockout or submission finish. Shamrock comes out to sit in for color commentary during the match. Goldust comes out in character, his ring entrance letterboxed as usual. McMahon announces that not only is Steve Austin missing, but also the World Wrestling Federation Title belt, it having been stolen from the Undertaker's dressing room. Shamrock says Vader doesn't intimidate him. Ross mentions that he interviewed Goldust, footage from which will be shown after the match. The two lock up. Goldust is backed into a corner. Vader breaks clean, then slips in a headbutt. Goldust angrily charges him and drops him to the mat, pummeling him with blows. Vader gets up and Goldust backs him into the corner. Goldust straddles the ropes and lays in shots to the head ... then a kiss. A few more punches follow, then Vader pushes him off and into the ropes. Goldust pulls up short and lays in a shot to the chin. Vader responds to that with a shot to Goldust's midsection. Vader whips him into the ropes. Goldust avoids a backdrop by doing a Sunset Flip, but Vader avoids falling by dropping down on Goldust's chest. Vader then slides to the floor and starts arguing with Shamrock. They go to break. Vader has Goldust trapped in the corner, pummeling away at him with shots to both sides of the head. Goldust drops. Vader goes over to the ropes and taunts Shamrock. Vader drops Goldust with a clothesline, followed by a splash, a chinlock, several more blows, and a headbutt. Goldust makes it over to a corner and back to his feet. Vader whips him into the opposite corner and charges after him, hitting him with what was, for all intents and purposes, a crossbody block. Goldust holds on to him and powerslams him in the center of the ring. Goldust then gets in several punches of his own, doing at one point something very much like the old "Flip Flop Fly!" Goldust starts to whip him into the corner, but Vader reverses it. Vader then bodyslams him, and finishes him off with the Vaderbomb off the second rope. He covers for the three count, getting the clean win. Vader then challenges Shamrock to get into the ring. Shamrock is willing but holds back ... until Vader spits on him. Shamrock slides into the ring and takes him down. The two roll around for a few seconds until Mankind runs in. Mankind? Goldust enters the fray. Vader slips out of the ring. Goldust whips Mankind into the corner, bounces off the ropes, and catches the stumbling Mankind in a Bulldog. Mankind rolls from the ring and he and Vader stare back at the ring, Vader throwing taunts to Shamrock. Jim Ross then sets up the Goldust interview: [ROSS] "Folks, I had the opportunity to have a one-on-one conversation with Dustin Runnels ... that's Goldust, and his wife Terry ... you know her as Marlena. Here's something that I don't think you'll soon forget!" (Clip of Goldust and Marlena entering a ring, followed by a shot of Dustin and terry out of makeup in a dressing room). [ROSS] "Ladies and gentlemen ... Mr. and Mrs. Dustin Runnels. Before there was Goldust, there was Dustin." (Clip of Dustin in his prior stint with the WWF, along with his father Dusty Rhodes. They show Dusty in the ring, followed by childhood pictures of Dustin being held in Dusty's arms). [ROSS] "Dustin Runnels is the son of a wrestler, who was in turn the son of a plumber. As the son of the 'American Dream' Dusty Rhodes, Dustin contended with the fans and a demanding road schedule for his father's attention and respect. Nonetheless, he was proud to be the son of the 'American Dream.'" [DUSTIN] "It was everything that I wanted to be. It was a lot of fun to, you know, to be with him, whenever I was with him. To, uh, walk into a restaurant or to a store and people would swarm up to for his autograph, you know. 'Hey, I'm his son!' you know, 'I'm his son.' Then as time went on it got a little old, you know, and I wanted some of the attention. And ... and people would come up to me and say 'well ... how's your dad?' And I like, uh well 'he's,' uh, I'd always be polite and 'yeah, he's doing very good' but deep down inside of me, you know, I wanted them to say first, you know, 'how are you?' then 'how's your dad?'" [ROSS] In a quest to gain his father's respect, he chose to follow in his father's sizable footsteps. But he was never able to emerge from Dusty Rhodes' shadow. (Clips of Dustin wrestling the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase. Clip of Dustin and Dusty walking to the ring). [DUSTIN] "I never had the chance. First of all ... everywhere I went it was like I was walking right behind him, you know, and he had such-these large shoes to step into, and umm, and I couldn't get there. I couldn't, uh, I couldn't, uh, have my own identity because ... I wasn't allowed." [ROSS] "To gain his own identity, Dustin had to walk away from his past. Dustin Runnels completely reinvented himself. The result? Goldust, the most bizarre, controvertial and outrageous superstar in history. In his quest to escape his father's shadow, Dustin took an enormous risk." (Clips of Dustin, then Goldust. Shot of a fan getting right in Goldust's face, yelling at him). [DUSTIN] "I was scared as hell-I felt like peeing in my pants. (Terry laughs). I knew that this was going to shock the heck out of people ... I knew it was as soon as I walked through the curtain, and it did! Man, I had everything thrown at me: quarters, nickles, dimes ... you know-I just ... spit ... it, it was horrible. People would pull my wig off and throw it at me, um, cursing, it was-everything in the book at me. It's like 'my God!' Going back to the past, I would have been-you know, I ... I never got that respect, and I wanted it so bad. Finally when I got the chance to do something new and 'here's Goldust' you know ... brand spankin' new and I still didn't get the respect right off the bat. I was let down, I was scared, I was frustrated ... " [TERRY] "He would come home very frustrated and, you know, 'what do I do? Is this,' you know, 'have I really flubbed?' and he and he and I both talked about-do you let someone else's insecurities trip you up and keep you from being what you want to be." [DUSTIN] "What I strived for ... take care of my family ... take care of business. As my dad always used to say, 'Take care of bidness!' (With a Dusty Rhodes accent)." (Clip of Goldust with "Razor" in red heart tattoo on his chest). [ROSS] "But 'taking care of business' was not easy. A Superstar once known for his 'machismo' refused to wrestle him." [DUSTIN] "That, uh, that hurt pretty bad, you know, that hit me below the waist, you know, I-I couldn't understand that. Um ... (Terry asks 'What's wrong?') and like I said, with-not only Scott Hall, but, uh, he was the main one that, but, I mean all the, uh, the minorities, the minorities out there-the gays and, you know, who ever, just ... I got so many letters and ... and, I can understand, you know, I can kinda-I can kinda, uh, I kinda know what they're going through now, you know, and it's, uh ... God bless 'em." (Clip of Goldust with the Intercontinental Title, as well as fans dressed like him). [ROSS] "Through perseverence and success, Goldust has gained acceptance. And now Dustin Rhodes can finally assume his own identity." [DUSTIN] "I mean-this has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to us. Uh ... I'm kind of glad that, uh, we've 'come out of the closet.' I mean this is, 'I'm Dustin', you know, and when I put that gold suit on there, it's 'I'm Goldust', and there's no other Goldust. They said it couldn't be done and I did it, I proved them wrong ... and it's the greatest feeling in the world. I can ... I can understand how Ellen (Degeneress) feels, you know, to ... " [TERRY] "We kind of 'came out of the closet' in a different way, didn't we?" [DUSTIN] "To come out of the closet, holding that microphone and tell the people, you know, we did it in a completely different way, but it feels very good. I'm living my own dream right now, my own 'American Dream'. I have a wonderful wife ... wonderful daughter ... wonderful character 'Goldust' ... I couldn't feel any happier. I've got all the people out there that, uh, now understand 'Goldust' ... where it came from and, uh, it's a good feeling." [ROSS] "But the question still remains: 'Has Goldust gained his Dad's respect?'" [DUSTIN] "Well, I really don't have any idea, you know. It's been about two years ... two-and-a-half years since I talked to him. I hope hope he is. Dad, if you're watching-which I know you are-I love you and I hope you're proud of me. But I mean, uh, I have my family and I'm taking care of them and I'm doing the best that I can possibly do, you know, and ... uh ... " [TERRY] "I think that's pretty damn good." [DUSTIN] "I just hope that people out there can learn to accept me for- now, who I am, and respect that and let the past settle just a bit." Ross says that there's more next week, including a heartfelt plea from Dustin to his father. Lawler, who rarely has anything to say about anyone, admits that Dustin is an "honest man". They then cut to the back where the Hart Foundation waits outside the door of a toilet stall. We hear a flush, then the door opens. Owen, the Bulldog, Pillman and Neidhart jump someone, pummeling them to the floor. Bret yells "wait!" and they stop. It's not Shawn, just some poor nobody. Bret says something and they continue beating on him. Hah! - CRUSH (w/ the Nation of Domination) vs. THREE HIRED GOONS Faarooq calls out the first guy. Crush stomps on him as soon as he enters the ring. He throws him into the ropes, catches him in a Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker, picks him up after a two count, slams him and covers for the pin. Faarooq calls out the second guy. This guys (who, like the first one, isn't even named) tries to fire up the crowd. NO reaction. Crush hits him in the midsection with a knee, then a headbutt. The guy slips out of the ring as McMahon and Ross announce some kind of disturbance in the back. The guy climbs up to the top and tries a crossbody block, but Crush turns with it and powerslams him. He picks him up and tosses him into the corner and powerslams him again. He then drops three legdrops. He picks him up and puts him away with the Heart Punch. Faarooq call out the third guy. This one is wearing a Green Bay Packers jacket (this week's card is in Wisconsin) and a nylon pilled over his head. This guy kicks Crush in the midsection and Pearl River Plunges him, then covers for the pin. As everyone looks on stunned, he takes off his mask and it's (in case you hadn't guessed) Ahmed Johnson. Faarooq jumps in the ring and Ross points out that he was miraculously healed, since his arm is no longer in it's sling. Crush seems quite pissed and walks out, leaving the NOD in the ring. They cut to the parking lot where the Hart Foundation is now looking under parked trucks and in garbage cans for Shawn Michaels. - Sable comes out and models the Austin 3:16 t-shirt. HOUR TWO: Hosted by Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Shawn Michaels comes to the ring for an interview. They run a clip of Austin slugging him after the cameras were off at the RAW the week before last. Shawn, when asked, says he doesn't know where Austin is and doesn't particularly care. He says that when he's come out with a chair the last two weeks, it wasn't to help Austin, but to hurt the Hart Foundation. He says the latest trend in wrestling is to "cut down the fans" by saying you don't need them. Shawn says he will be the first to reverse that trend by "sucking up to the fans of the World Wrsetling Federation". About the Hart Foundation, he says they "might run in a pack, but the Kliq runds in a herd!" McMahoin asks him when he'll be returning (since he's found his smile again). Shawn announces he will be returning to the ring at the "King of the Ring" PPV next month. On Bret's attitude about America, he says Bret sure has no problem earning all that American money. "Don't let the door hit you on your Canadian butt on the way out!" The next time they meet "I'm gonna tear your butt to pieces. I guarantee it!" Shawn then takes off his watch and rings and circles the ring, hugging the grabby ringside fans. Bret and Pillman appear on the big screen. Bret says he should have finished SHawn off back when he put him in the Figure Four around the post. Shawn takes off his shirt, prompting Bret to ask "Is that for the guys or the girls?" Bret says that since Shawn seems to be walking okay, why doesn't he fight Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart tonight. Shawn waves him in. The Anvil comes to the ring. He and Shawn scuffle for a few seconds, then Shawn is jumped by Owen and the Bulldog. All three Hart Foundation members pound on him until the Legion of Doom runs in. Owen and the Bulldog split. - After the break, they show Shawn in the back with a chair, looking for Owen and the Bulldog. He yells something that the censors blank out. He passes an area with some wrestlers. (Watching it on tape in slow-mo you see some mighty interesting things: first there's Ahmed Johnson, just sitting. Then there's a guy that, from behind, looks a little like Vic Venom. Then there's Vader ... sitting ... without his mask. Talking to him is Sunny without any pants on. Finally there's "Stone Cold" Steve Austin hurriedly running out the door to avoid the camera! This is actually quite hilarious, since shortly after this McMahon says Austin hasn't arrived yet, and probably won't. At normal speed you'd only really see Austin if you happened to be looking in the right place). - DOUG FURNAS/PHIL LAFON vs. LEGION OF DOOM A rematch from last week. They run pretaped comments from F & L in which they declare themselves the most exciting tag team in the WWF. The LOD come to the ring in new ring attire: they're now wearing muscle shirts that match their tights. LaFon and Hawk start things off, trading chops to the chest. Hawk then takes control. Both Animal and Furnas are tagged in after a minute or so. They cut to the back where Shawn has found Pillman and the Anvil. Numerous WWF officials hold the three apart. Back in the ring Animal misses a clothesline, dumping himself over the top rope and to the floor. LaFon follows and suplexes him. Animal is tossed back in and into the ropes. LaFon catches him with a spinning heel kick. McMahon announces that Steve Austin still hasn't shown up, and probably won't. Tee-hee! Furnas joins LaFon and the two set up a double team move on Animal. Animal grabs them both by the head and suplexes them both at once! He then tags in Hawk. The British Bulldog appears on the entrance ramp. Animal goes out to see that he doesn't come to the ring. LaFon follows and the two fight out on the floor. The ref is distracted by this. Furnas pushes Hawk into the ropes. Hawk hits the top rope throatfirst. Owen Hart, who is at ringside, grabs Hawk by the head and snaps it down against the rope (actually, I think Owen flubbed it and was supposed to time it so that he would catch Hawk and drop him on the rope. As it was, he looked to be late and dropped Hawk's throat across the rope with less force then what Hawk received when he-compensating for Owen's lateness-did it himself). Furnas covers for the pin. They cut to the back and Shawn is still scrapping with the Anvil and Pillman. The two have him down and things look grim for Shawn until Steve Austin makes a "surprise appearance" and saves him. Austin enters through an exterior door and chases off Pillman and Neidhart. Bret, who had been sitting nearby watching, is wheeled off by Owen. - The Undertaker comes out for an interview. He says whoever stole his belt made a grave mistake, and tells Steve Austin "It'll be a 'Cold Day in Hell' before you win the World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Title!" Really? That's this Sunday. - Sunny comes out modelling the Austin 3:16 t-shirt. She isn't wearing any pants. Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Lawler says "You know where that shirt would look great?" "Where?" "On the floor of my bedroom!" *Ba-dum-bump!!* - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG After a long delay the Bulldog comes out. Huge pop for Austin. The two start off brawling on the floor. They enter the ring and Austin takes control. He goes to work on the Bulldog's left arm. Down on the mat he hooks the right arm and rolls the Bulldog into a near pin. The Bulldog turns things around with a low kick (which draws a good "boo!" from the crowd). An "Austin!" chant breaks out. Jim Ross mentions that due to Sycho Sid's absence, his match against Mankind has been scrapped from the PPV. Mankind will face a surprise opponent. (Wanna bet it's Rockabilly?). Ross then mentions the Bulldog being teamed in the past with the Dynamite Kid. Lawler says the Bulldog "dumped" him. Hmm ... Austin turns things around, nailing the Bulldog with a Lou Thesz Press. He tries to set up the Sharpshooter, but the Bulldog kicks him off. Davey Boy then nails him with a clothesline. Ross mentions that Paul Bearer will be making his return on next week's RAW. The Bulldog slaps Austin into a headlock. Austin escapes by getting to his feet and applying a back suplex. Austin then slips out of a powerslam attempt and a few moves later lands the Stone Cold Stunner. Austin covers for the clean pin. Owen and the Anvil run in, stomping Austin to the mat. Owen has the WWF World Title belt and he whips Austin with it. They briefly cut to the back where Bret and Brian Pillman are watching on a monitor. The Legion of Doom run in for the save, but are themselves attacked by Furnas and LaFon. (LaFon, for some strange reason, is attacked by Owen Hart! Huh?). Shawn michaels runs in. He goes after the Anvil. The lights go out. When they come back up, the Undertaker is standing in the middle of the ring. He begins beating on all the heels. Michaels picks up the WWF Title belt and chases the Anvil, then drops the belt. Owen, the Anvil, and Shawn have all run from the ring. Austin picks up the belt as the Legion of Doom leave. The Undertaker spots Austin with the belt and yanks it away from him. He lays it at his feet and he and Austin stare down. Austin turns to leave and the Undertaker jumps him. The two trade blows until the Taker clotheslines him over the top rope. They go at it again down on the floor. For the last couple of minutes of the show the two brawl around the ring. Both get a chair, but neither gets to use it. The Undertaker shoves a WWF official down. Both men are pounding on each other as the show ends. - Next week's main event: The return of Paul Bearer. Comments: For the third week in a row the WWF puts on a pretty good show. The Dustin interview was tremendous-the best interview I've seen since Ric Flair's at the Hog Wild countdown show. The wrestling in the matches wasn't anything too memorable, but they were all watchable. The show did an excellent job of hyping the PPV. Just another superb effort. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Here's the card, thus far, for Slamboree: * Ric Flair/Roddy Piper/Kevin Greene vs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/Syxx. * Steve "Mongo" McMichael vs. Reggie White. * The Steiners vs. Hugh Morrus/Konan. * Dean Malenko vs. Jeff Jarrett. * Chris Benoit vs. Meng in a "Death Match." * Madusa vs. Luna Vachon. * Ultimo Dragon vs. Lord Steven Regal. TV Title match. * Glacier vs. Mortis. * Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Yuji Yasuraoka. There's some talk that Piper and Syxx will be pulled from the main event and fight in a separate match. This doesn't really make sense, as I'd expect Flair and Syxx to be the ones who would want to go head-to-head. More matches may be announced. Here's the lineup for In Your House "Cold Day in Hell": * Undertaker vs. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. * Ken Shamrock vs. Vader in a "No Holds Barred" match. * Ahmed Johnson vs. Savio Vega/Crush/Faarooq. Three separate matches. * Sid vs. Mankind. * Flash Funk vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley in the Free For All. There's talk in this one that the Mankind/Sid match may not happen. Sid is apparently off playing softball again as he nurses his "injured" back. Mankind has a bad back as well, and his recent "suspension" was to allow him some time off to rest. I forgot to mention it last week ... I got a copy of "WCW vs. The World" for my birthday. It's not bad, but the whole thing seems to have been rushed into the stores. It's the American release of a Japanese game called "Virtual Pro Wrestling" and they only did a so-so job of translating it. There simply aren't enough WCW wrestlers, and the almost total lack of NWO is annoying (Hogan being the only one). Despite what you may have heard, Diamond Dallas Page is NOT in the game. Neither is Randy Savage. The Giant, a hidden character, is really supposed to be Andre the Giant. The bulk of the game is made up of real Japanese and international wrestlers who have been given phony pseudonyms. Mine and my brother's favorite is "Blood" (the Great Muta). "The Count" (Stan Hansen) and "Major Tom" (Terry Funk) are real hoots as well. "David harley" (Sabu) is fun as well. In general, I'm pretty bad at these type of games, so no matter who I play I can only do four or five moves. But I'm learning, and it's fun seeing what the other guys will do against you. The first time I wrestled Chris Benoit, he kicked my ass. You wouldn't believe how much I marked out when I, as "Overdose" (Road Warrior Hawk), clotheslined Hulk Hogan over the top rope. This is a fun game. It's not perfect, but it's the best I've seen yet for the Playstation here in the states. (It definitely kicks "In Your House"'s butt, which my brother has. I can't stand that game. Great graphics ... zero realism). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Week's Winner: RAW. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- JRP