(Sorry this is posted so late. News server problems).

 - Quick WrestleMania 13 (3/23) Recap:
  Free For All Countdown Show:
  * Billy Gunn defeated Flash Funk with a spinning DDT off the top
    turnbuckle.
  WWF WrestleMania 13 Pay-Per-View:
  * The Headbangers defeated the Godwinns, the New Blackjacks, and Doug
    Furnas and Phil LaFon in a four way elimination match. The Headbangers
    would recieve a World Tag Team Title shot on Monday Night RAW.
  * Rocky Maivia defeated the Sultan to retain his Intercontinental Title.
    The Sultan, Mr. Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik attacked Rocky after the
    match. Maivia's father, Rocky Johnson, came to his aid,and was himself
    attacked.
  * Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Goldust. Helmsley knocked Goldust into
    Marlena, who then bumped into Chyna. Chyna put Marlena into a bearhug
    and Hunter put Goldust away with the Pedigree. Goldust carried Marlena
    back to the lockerroom after the match.
  * Owen Hart and the British Bulldog wrestled Mankind and Vader to a double
    countout. Hart and Bulldog retain the World Tag Team Titles, and must
    defend them against the Headbangers on RAW.
  * Bret "Hitman" Hart defeated "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in the "Submission
    Match." Early portion of the match was fought out on the floor and in
    the crowd. Austin was cut open on the forehead and bled profusely. Hart
    applied the Sharpshooter and Austin passed out. Special referee Ken
    Shamrock stopped the match and declared Hart the winner, though Austin
    never gave up. Hart then attacked Austin while he was still out.
    Shamrock came to Austin's defense, pulling Hart off him and then chasing
    him off. The crowd booed Bret as he left. Austin was cheered by the
    crowd as he left the ring.
  * Ahmed Johnson and the Road Warriors defeated Faarooq, Savio Vega, Crush,
    and the entire Nation of Domination in the "Chicago Street Fight." All
    manner of weapons were used, including a 2X4, garbage can, noose, a
    wrench, nightsticks, a fire extinguisher, and a kitchen sink. Ahmed
    dressed like the Legion of Doom. The French commentator's table was
    smashed.
  * The Undertaker defeated Sycho Sid. President Gorilla Monsoon announced
    that the match would be "No Holds Barred." Shawn Michaels came out to
    provide color commentary. Prior to the match starting, Bret Hart arrived
    at ringside and verbally assaulted Michaels, accusing him of faking his
    leg injury to avoid wrestling Hart. Hart called Sycho Sid a fraud. Sid
    powerbomed Hart to shut him up. The match got underway and the momentum
    swung back and forth often. Sid reversed a Tombstone Piledriver into a
    Tombstone of his own. The Undertaker kicked out. Bret Hart again came
    out and hit both wrestlers with a steel chair. The Undertaker chased him
    off, then chokeslammed Sid. Sid kicked out. Bret came out yet again and
    Sid hit him. The Undertaker scooped up the distracted Sid and Tombstoned
    him for the win. The Undertaker is the new World Wrestling Federation
    Heavyweight Champion.


WWF Monday Night RAW: Live.
Hosted by Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler.

 - Vince announces that the Undertaker is indeed the new World Champion, and
   that Mankind is the number one contender. Huh?

 - THE HEADBANGERS vs. OWEN HART/THE BRITISH BULLDOG
   Owen now has two of those damn Slammys. He and the Bulldog play "me
   first" on their way to the ring. Owen and the Bulldog start off looking
   like the champions they are. They do a good job containing one of the
   'Bangers (Thrasher?) in their own corner.

   They cut to a split-screen interview with the Road Warriors, who have
   pulled their old black and chrome shoulderpads out of storage. Vince asks
   them about the kitchen sink. Hawk said he was glad to have it, but that
   next time they'll get something other than stainless steel-he's not into
   stainless steel. "Thank you." offers Vince. "Thank YOU!" replies Hawk.

   Meanwhile, the Headbangers have taken control of the match with Owen in
   the ring. The Bulldog is tagged in and except for a high vertical suplex,
   they take care of him too. The Bulldog lays in a few elbows and breaks
   free, but accidentally knocks Owen off the apron as he goes into the
   ropes. The Bulldog goes to the floor and he and Owen argue. Owen finally
   dismisses the Bulldog with a wave and leaves the ringside area. They cut
   to a break.

   The Bulldog is now fighting on his own, but this only lasts a short time
   as Owen does reappear. The Headbangers are, by now, thoroughly dominating
   the Bulldog. Owen is eventually tagged in and he cleans house with a few
   enzuguiri kicks, a belly-to-belly suplex, and a backbreaker. He then tags
   the Bulldog back in, who's still down on the apron catching a breather.
   The Bulldog comes in for a quick powerslam, a two count cover, then he
   tags Owen back in, against Owen's wishes. Owen hits a hiptoss, then a
   dropkick off the top rope. Owen brags about this in the face of the
   Bulldog. He applies a Sharpshooter, but is clotheslined from behind. The
   Bulldog comes in and scoops up Thrasher (who had been in the Sharp-
   shooter) and powerslams him. He tries to roll Owen over on top of him,
   but Owen pushes him off, not realizing what the Bulldog is up to. (The
   ref is tied up with Mosh during all this). Owen and the Bulldog begin to
   argue again. The referee tries to break them up and the Bulldog shoves
   him down "What the f--k are you doing!?" yells Owen. (A half second later
   the audio is blanked out. It would appear that tonight's RAW was on a few
   second's tape delay, but someone was asleep at the switch).

   Owen grabs a mic and says he's had enough. He claims to be the brains
   behind this team, and that the Bulldog is jealous of him. Owen as much as
   declares their team dissolved, and challenges the Bulldog to give him a
   European Title shot. The Bulldog in return claims to be the leader of
   their team, and is willing to give Owen a title shot, but it's the only
   one he'll get. What is left up in the air: the fate of the Tag Team
   Titles (though Owen does remark something to the effect that they have
   their upcoming tag team matches covered).

   The Headbangers are the winners vis DQ.

 - Mankind has been located somewhere in the bowels of the arena. He laments
   the his "Uncle Paul" has left him. More on this later.

 - HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY (w/ Chyna) vs. BART GUNN
   Prior to the match Bret Hart comes on the big screen and demands an
   assurance from McMahon that he will get a chance to get some things off
   his chest in front of all his fans. McMahon assures him that he will.
   They then show still photos from the Helmsley/Goldust match at Wrestle-
   Mania. Marlena is reportedly in the hospital, though Goldust is somewhere
   in the arena.

   Helmsley has an easy time here. Goldust does an interview via split-
   screen, in a manner closer to Dustin than Goldust. Helmsley is scheduled
   to face Goldust next week on RAW.

   Helmsley wins via the Pedigree.

 - Highlights package fromthe Slammy Awards, which were only slightly
   amusing. The Undertaker was the big winner, taking home three Slammys.
   Sable and Shawn Michaels each earned two.

 - EL MOSCO/HYSTERIA/ABISMO NEGRO vs. VENUM/SUPER NOVA/DISCOVERY
   A fast and furious Lucha/Power Rangers match that at times was breath-
   taking, and at others was pretty sloppy. The best move may have been by
   Hysteria: a slide through a crucifix into a twirling legscissors-snap-
   flip-twist-jump-run-reverse-bob-weave-and-a-half-something-or-other. (It
   was the same move Juventud Guerrera did tonight, only this one actually
   resulted in being offensively effective). Super Nova also did a
   tremendous moonsault from the top turnbuckle to the floor, and either El
   Mosco or Hysteria did an Asai moonsault off the ropes to the floor. Super
   Nova got the pin with Rey Mysterio's huracanrana rollup. Fun to watch,
   but the crowd was only partially into it. The blown spots were numerous
   and noticable. McMahon knew most of their names, surprisingly. Lawler
   made fun of their hair. Ross didn't even try to caall the match, instead
   rattling off future WWF house show dates.

   During the match Bret Hart demends to know when he'll get his time to
   talk.

 - They show tape of a sit-down interview with Rocky Maivia and Rocky
   Johnson. Johnson apologizes for interfereing in his son's affairs, and
   promises never to do it again.

 - The Honky Tonk Man comes out for color commentary. McMahon call him "the
   Greatest Intercontinental Champion of All Time."

 - FLASH FUNK (w/ the Funkettes) vs. THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER
   Steve Lombardi is as unimpressive as always, and Funk wins with little
   difficulty, finishing him off with the double froward sommersault splash.

 - Ken Shamrock explains why he stopped the match between Bret Hart and
   Steve Austin. He expresses his admiration for Austin's resolve, but
   admits he doesn't like him all that much.

 - Bret Hart comes out ... and wrestling history is made. Jim Ross
   introduces him to a mixed reaction. Hart grabs the mic away from Ross. He
   begins by apologizing to all his German, British, Japanese, European, and
   Canadian fans. To his fans here in America ... he apologizes for nothing.
   He points out that even though he beat Austin, they cheered Austin as he
   left the ring. He goes back to last WrestleMania and accuses the fans of
   cheering for a "pretty boy" who screwed him out of the title. He says he
   felt he needed to come back to "clean up" the WWF. He accuses Shawn of
   posing for a "gay magazine." He runs through the entire timeline of how
   he's been continually screwed, and how he's lost the respect of the
   American fans. "Maybe I should have quit and gone home?!" he says. "You
   did quit, Bret." McMahon remarks. Bret then repeats his allegation that
   Shawn faked his knee injury to duck Bret. He runs through the events at
   the Royal Rumble and the "Final Four." He recounts his title loss to Sid,
   adding that "only in America" can the fans justify Steve Austin's
   interference. He talks of how the Undertaker cost him the title on RAW
   last week. He accuses the fans of abandoning him.

   "I've proven myself so many times here in the World Wrestling Federation.
   And I've tried to be everything you wanted me to be. It seems to me that
   you don't understand ... you don't understand what it means to have
   dignity ... to have poise ... to bring prestige to the World Wrestling
   Federation ... to be a man that has a-that brings a little class. You'd
   rather cheer for heroes like Charles Manson and ... O.J. Simpson. Nobody
   glorifies criminal conduct like the Americans do."

   He says it all comes down to respect, and the American don't respect him.
   "Well I don't respect you either. You don't deserve it! All the American
   wrestling fans from coast-to-coast can kiss my ass!" (Blanked out by the
   censors).

   "Yooo ... Hitman!" Out comes Shawn Michaels. Shawn says Bret can say
   whatever he wants about him or any of the other wrestlers, but Shawn
   draws the line at criticizing the fans. He takes a jab at Hart by
   pointing out that Austin never quit. Shawn admits that he himself is
   flawed. The First Amendment, says Shawn, gives the fans the right to
   cheer or boo for whomever they like when they lay their money down. "In
   America we have a saying: LOVE it ... or LEAVE it!" Shawn admits that
   he's in no condition to fight, but if Bret wants to go at it with him,
   he's willing.

   Bret tells Shawn he should go back to the dressing room. Shawn steps
   forward, getting in Bret's face and saying he's always had a problem
   with authority figures. "By the way ... how did YOU know I was in that
   girly magazine? You just couldn't help yourself, could you ... you had to
   flip through the pages just a little bit!" Bret turns away and leans
   against the ropes. Shawn tosses the mic, hitting Hart's back, and he
   turns away as well. Bret whips back around and charges, clipping Shawn's
   left knee from behind. He lays in a few stomps, then drags him over to
   the corner to apply the figure four around the ringpost. Several
   officials come out to try and break the hold. McMahon (off camera) even
   gets up to help. Bret finally releases the hold when Sycho Sid comes out.
   Hart keeps away from Sid. Sid chases Hart through the ring. Bret teases
   coming back to the ring to mix it up, but thinks better of it. Sid yells
   something to him (which is blanked for several seconds by the censors).
   Bret turns to the ring and flips off Sid, the fans, and his legacy as
   "the Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be."

 - ROCKY MAIVIA vs. LEIF CASSIDY
   Not much of a match. First, USA cuts to a commercial as the wrestlers
   come out. Then the match is already in progress as they return. Bret Hart
   immediately comes out and sits at the announcer's table. "Why have you
   snapped?" asks McMahon. "I haven't snapped ... I've just opened my eyes!"
   He lets loose a few profanities that are thoroughly censored. As Maivia
   wins with a crossbody off the top, Bret says "You haven't seen bad yet.
   You want to see bad? I'll show you bad." "Wickedly bad," he adds. Maivia
   celebrates and Hart kicks him in the back of the knee, drags him to the
   ropes, and drops down on the leg. Hart leaves (recieving a "thumbs up"
   from Leif Cassidy). He pauses to flip off a youngster by the ramp, the
   stands proudly, wallowing in his own crappulance.

 - AHMED JOHNSON vs. SAVIO VEGA (w/ the Nation of Domination)
   Faarooq is absent, reportedly in the hospital following the "Chicago
   Street Fight," suffering from a punctured lung.

   Less than spectacular match here. Ahmed dominates with his strength. He
   hits a vertical suplex worthy of the British Bulldog. He also does a
   rather surprising cannonball senton off the top rope.The match just drags
   on until Ahmed is about to put Savio in the Pearl River Plunge. Crush
   comes to ringside and drags Savio out of the ring. Ahmed gets on the mic
   and challenges the Nation to a match in which the entire NOD must leave
   the WWF if whatever member that participates loses. If that sounds
   somewhat vague, that's because Ahmed didn't do the greatest job in
   spelling out exactly what he meant.

 - Paul Bearer is in the back and he'd like to talk to teh Undertaker.

 - McMahon introduces the Undertaker. He takes the opportunity to thank the
   Creatures of the Night, and vows to defend the belt for them. They talk
   briefly until Paul Bearer comes out. Bearer says that if the Undertaker
   needs to beat him up, he may, but that he'd like just a moment to speak
   with him. "Everything I did, I did for you." By this point the show had
   run over and an almost continuing scrawl reminding us "La Femme Nikita"
   would be on next ran across the bottom. Mankind comes on the jumbo screen
   and calls out to Bearer. Before any of this can make any real sense, the
   show ends.

 - Next week's main event: Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust.

Comments: Another wild RAW, but one that was probably the weakest compared
to other recent efforts. None of the in-ring matches were all that good.
Ultimately, this RAW was all about Bret Hart, and in that regard it shined.
Bret's turn was nothing short of monumental, and the best executed
philosophy switch in ages. Other than that, it didn't offer much.

Where was Steve Austin, you ask? The WWF barred him from the arena, fearing
he'd be in an unstable emotional state. He'll be back next week, as well
as Hart.

WWF rumors this week are that both Del Wilkes (the Patriot, the Trooper) and
Dan Severn have signed with them. Disco Inferno may come in as the Honky
Tonk Man's "protege." The WWF may be interested in Steve "Dr. Death"
Williams, but his drug arrest last week may jeopardize this. The Undertaker
was supposedly in a car accident last Friday.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WCW Monday Nitro: Live.
HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.

 - Show kicks off with a replay of the Diamond Dallas Page/Randy Savage
   confrontation from last week. Not exactly the most compelling way to
   start the show. Savage will, as per the stipulations at Uncensored, get a
   TV Title match tonight vs. Prince Iaukea. Yikes!

   Flipping channels, I see Dennis Rodman (on "E!") arriving at the Academy
   Awards, meaning there's no way he'd be on Nitro tonight. (Oops ... didn't
   ruin that for you, did I?).

 - Larry "The Axe" Hennig is in the audience. Let the Mr. Perfect rumors
   fly!

 - KONAN vs. DEAN MALENKO
   This was a short, straightforward down-on-the-mat match. Konan does a
   nice powerbomb, but that's about all he can do (in my opinion). Malenko
   wins with the Texas Cloverleaf, which is starting to get crowd response
   not unlike that which the Diamond Cutter is getting. Syxx does an inset
   interview where he chastises Eddie Guerrero for "screwing up" things, the
   intimation being that Eddie and Syxx are "in cahoots" (as Tony puts it).
   Malenko does an interview regarding Chris Benoit, calling him a "mirror
   image" of himself.

   Konan's "barrio" look is as lame as any plumber's or hockey goon's looks
   in the WWF. Sorry.

 - They show footage of the Mortis/Glacier match at Uncensored.

 - MORTIS (W/ James Vandenberg) vs. JERRY FLYNN
   Mortis looks like a cross between Papa Shango and Mankind, though much
   smaller than both. This was a semi-squash that got me annoyed. What was
   the point of all this? First off they pull all this crap with Glacier. We
   never see the guy, he only fights Pat Tanaka, yet we're supposed to
   accept him as a "major star." Now he suddenly has a "mortal enemy." What
   happens in their first match? Glacier wins. So now we see WCW's attempt
   to "rehabilitate" Mortis by having him win a match. At least that should
   have been the intent. Instead Jerry Flynn decides to barely sell most of
   Mortis' moves. I'll admit, he does have some nice maneuvers ... but how
   am I supposed to be impressed when Flynn sits right up, or rolls over
   like he's only just barely stunned? Several moves that could have been
   finishers were brushed off by Flynn (including a legrop variant-similar
   to the Rocker Dropper-off the turnbuckles). Mortis eventually wins with
   the Flatliner, a weak looking version of the Samoan Drop off the bottom
   turnbuckle. How can I possibly respect this guy when he's already lost to
   Glacier, and now could barely beat Jerry Flynn? Vandenberg interfered at
   one point, making him the latest in a long string of generic evil
   managers. And people criticize the WWF for having cartoonish gimmicks ...

 - JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. LA PARKA
   I was pleasantly surprised by this one. La Parka came out with a matador
   outfit on over his usual gear, complete with a golden skull belt.

   The two start off with what is common in Mexico, the slaps to the chest
   in a show of manhood (or so I've heard). Guerrera is whipped into the
   ropes and does that move I mentioned above in the RAW recap, only in this
   permutation he uses it to merely escape La Parka's grasp as opposed to
   taking him down. (It may not have been exactly the same, but it was done
   better). Guerrera charges La Parka and is whipped over the top rope to
   the apron. La Parka does a Flair-esque strut, which gets a good crowd
   reaction. Guerrera jumps on him, is caught, and La Parka struts while
   carrying him. Tony and Larry start speculating that maybe Flair is under
   that mask, which is a bit shameful. Guerrera hits a huracanrana off the
   top rope, then a springboard plancha to the floor. Back in the ring he
   hits a springboard dropkick. La Parka responds with a clothesline, then
   completely misses an impressive looking spinning moonsault (kinda
   thingy). He catches Guerrera in a crucifix type hold on his shoulders,
   sets him down, then nails an enzuguiri kick. Guerrera slips to the floor
   and La Parka lands a running plancha over the top rope. They jockey for
   position at the ropes back on the apron and Guerrera gets the upper hand
   with a springboard sommersault. Guerrera sends him up to the top rope and
   tries a huracanrana, but La Parka holds on and drops him into a power-
   bomb. He finishes him off with a tumbling, twirling idunnowhat, and
   covers for (what I consider) the upset pin.

 - They spend several minutes recapping the Steiner Brothers/Outsiders feud.
   Hello ... new stuff please? Mean Gene interviews the Steiners, who will
   get another title shot at Spring Stampede.

 - HIGH VOLTAGE vs. PUBLIC ENEMY
   The match itself was completely forgettable. Jeff Jarrett and Debra
   McMichael come out and Jarret hits Johnny Grunge with the briefcase,
   allowing one of the HV to get the upset pin. I hate it when they claim
   there's a "bitter fued," then all the stuff that fuels the fire happens
   after that. That's what you've got here. Rage was put through a table,
   for those of you who care about such things.

   As Jarret and Debra leave they are confronted by Steve McMichael, who
   wants to know what they are up to. Mongo feels he's being "set up" for
   something.

 - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews the Giant and Lex Luger. Get this: the main
   event for Spring Stampede is a "Four Corners" match featuring the Giant
   vs. Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat Stevie Ray vs. Harlem Heat Booker T. What
   the Hell?! The winner faces "Hollywood" Hogan at the next PPV. Does
   anyone out there really think WCW would do a PPV with Hogan vs. one of
   the Harlem Heat as it's main event? This will obviously end with Luger
   vs. the Giant. It's probably time to start pulling out those Luger/NWO
   rumors again.

 - PSYCHOSIS vs. SUPER CALO
   Though it had nothing to do with the match, they get comments from Sonny
   Onoo regarding Rey Mysterio's match with Ultimo Dragon at Spring
   Stampede.

   Super Calo has some real flashy moves, but Psychosis gets the win with a
   legdrop off the top turnbuckle. Is this Psychosis' first win on Nitro?

HOUR TWO: Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mike Tenay.

 - They recap the worst moment of the first hour: Jarrett's interference in
   the P.E. match.

 - HUGH MORRUS (W/ Jimmy Hart) vs. CHRIS BENOIT
   No Woman. Why? She didn't feel like coming to Minnesota (probably).

   Quick match. Morrus dominates with his strenght and size, but Benoit
   turns it around with his ferocity. He has Morrus set up for the headbutt
   off the top, but Konan comes in and pushes him off the top (as Jimmy Hart
   distracts the ref). Morrus hits a moonsault and covers for the pin. He
   and Konan are joined by Kevin Sullivan and all three stomp on Benoit.
   Dean Malenko runs out to try the save, but he gets stomped for his
   trouble. The crowd chants for the Horsemen. Ric Flair comes out to a huge
   pop and cleans house with punches and low blows. Flair dances as Benoit
   and Malenko stare down.

 - They run a promo selling "Hollywood" Hogan t-shirts. This was Hogan's
   only appearance tonight. (Oops ... didn't ruin that for you, did I?).

 - FACES OF FEAR vs. HARLEM HEAT (w/ Sister Sherri)
   This is, what, the 50th time we've seen this match? Stomp ... stomp ...
   bodyslam. Mindless power match. Sherri, after jumping on the apron, is
   knocked to the floor when Meng is knocked into her (this is probably
   payback for her managing "Playboy" Buddy Rose and "Pretty Boy" Doug
   Sommers). The once invincible Meng is pinned by Booker T.

 - Mean Gene interviews Chris Benoit and Ric Flair. Benoit accuses Sullivan
   of attacking Arn Anderson in a hotel room (was this shown on WCW Saturday
   Night? I missed it). Flair talks about Roddy Piper. Flair challenges
   Piper to live up to his "legacy."

 - MALIA HOSAKA vs. MADUSA
   After a lot of hair pulling Madusa wins with a German Suplex.

 - Lee Marshall phones in from Roanoke, Virginia.

 - RENEGADE vs. "HACKSAW" JIM DUGGAN
   Duggan, in a gesture of good sportsmanship, throws away his roll of tape.
   This match made me yearn for the days of Jake "The Milkman" Miliman and
   Buck "Rock and Roll" Zumhopfe. Renegade plays the role of semi-heel,
   forcing Duggan to pull out a second roll of tape and knock him out (the
   ref conveniently looking away). Duggan celebrates, yelling out that he
   can beat Hulk Hogan.

 - The show a highlights package of Sting's return from the dark side. (I
   lied above: Hogan and Rodman both appeared in these snippets).

 - THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS (w/ Col. Parker) vs. THE STEINER BROTHERS
   This one was just plain silly. Scott gets knocked to the floor. The Col.
   tries to nail him with the French Canadian flag, but Scotty ducks and
   nails Parker. Meanwhile the Canadians have been double teaming Rick.
   Scott enters the ring with the flag and the ref has to chase him out.
   Jacques Rougeau tries toi then knock out Steiner with one of the
   Colonel's boots, but knocks out Carl instead (with a boot ... a leather
   boot ... the upper portion of a soft leather boot). The Steiners get the
   pin.

   On a scale of one to ten Bushwhackers, I'd give this one seven.

 - RANDY "MACHO MAN" SAVAGE (w/ the New World Order) vs. PRINCE IAUKEA
   Bischoff is wearing a Rodman t-shirt, which by WCW standards counts as an
   appearance by him. Liz is carrying a spray can. Iaukea got little support
   from the crowd in this one.

   Iaukea gets a few moves on Savage, which flusters him. He confers with
   DiBiase. He gets in a few more moves and is in control until he misses a
   splash off the top. Savage sets him up for the elbowdrop off the top and
   plants him. At the two count he picks to kid up, ostensibly to deliver
   more punishment.

   Diamond Dallas Page runs in through the crowd wearing a Minnesota Gophers
   t-shirt (sacriledge!). The NWO quickly swarm over him and put a good hurt
   on him. Kevin Nash jackknifes him. Savage drops an elbow. Bischoff gives
   him a weak karate kick. They spray "NWO" on Iaukea, and a big zero on
   Page.

   The show runs over by a few minutes, and they just manage to last longer
   on the air than RAW did.

 - Next week's main event: None announced.

Comments: No Hogan. No Sting. No Piper. No Rodman. WCW didn't exactly bring
their biggest guns to Duluth, did they? Even the workrate freaks were
denied seeing Rey Mysterio Jr. and Ultimo Dragon.

Scott Hall was missing as well. I don't know what the story here is, but
there's a lot of rumors flying on the 'Net regarding his either being
hospitalized, or fired, or in drug rehab, or something like that. Tonight
was supposed to provide some kind of answer to his recent absences, but it
only served to deepen the mystery instead. Tony mentioned Hall early on and
speculated that the weather may have had something to do with it.

The Guerrera match was the best match of the night. Malenko vs. Konan and
Mortis vs. Flynn weren't all that bad. The rest was substandard fare. The
second hour was yet again an uneventful bomb. Flair's presence was the only
thing that electrified the crowd (though "Hacksaw" Duggan was cheered just
as loudly as anyone else on the show).

I can't believe we're less than two weeks from another PPV. Spring Stampede
will take place woefully underhyped. Curiously, it offers one of WCW's
strongest cards in some time:

 * The Giant vs. Luger vs. Stevie Ray vs. Booker T. Winner faces Hogan at
   the next PPV. The Harlem Heat? I just don't get this. Luger vs. the Giant
   we've seen before, and the fans didn't much care for it.
 * The Steiners vs. the Outsiders. I'm betting the Steiners get the tag
   belts back in the next official "big blow" to the NWO. We've seen this
   one before too.
 * Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page. This will probably be the real main
   event of the show. I wouldn't rule out a Sting appearance to prevent a
   massive NWO run-in.
 * Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit. This match holds the most promise, but
   some kind of screwy ending seems likely.
 * Ultimo Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. Could be a great match, but will most
   likely be a relatively easy win for Mysterio. This is another one we've
   seen before.
 * Public Enemy vs. Jeff Jarrett & Steve McMichael. A mindless brawl which
   will most likely end in some goofy situation between Jarrett and Mongo.
   When will the Horsemen get their s#!t together?
 * Prince Iaukea vs. Lord Steven Regal. I think. Who cares?
 * Madusa vs. Akira Hokuta. Madusa will win the belt so she can defend it
   against Luna Vachon.

On paper, if you ignore the fact that we've already seen a lot of the match-
ups, this has quite a bit of potential. What it doesn't have, however, is
Hogan. Nor Piper. Sting is a longshot to be there. Rodman an even longer
one. These will certainly have an adverse effect on the buyrate. If it does
bad enough, there's always the danger that WCW will "punish" the good
wrestlers for not being able to "carry" the show, and thus focus on the
goofy Hogan inspired nonsense that they usually dole out.

Is anyone else sick of all these "Triangle Matches" and "Four Corners"
elimination-type matches? I sure am. The last four PPV's have had them.
Spring Stampede will make five.

My mentioning Eddie Guerrero's injury last week scooped a lot of the 'Net.
He may be out as long as six months. With Syxx nursing a shoulder injury as
well, this may be what has prompted Malenko to feud with Benoit.

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The Bottom Line: Bret Hart's heel turn has been one of the most deftly
crafted angles the WWF has done ... maybe ever. There's nothing "standard"
or cartoonish about it. We saw his return in November ... his vow to "clean
up the WWF" and how the fans balked at this. We saw him claim he was being
"screwed" by the WWF, and to a certain extent he was right. He WAS screwed
out of a win at the Royal Rumble. Even after finally winning the belt again,
he lost it due to Steve Austin's interference. Virtually everything Hart
said in his speech this week was true, and that's what makes his turn so
genuine and relevant. We've actually seen Hart's frustration build. Taking
into account his inability to re-attain the top, and seeing the fans stop
cheering for his "type" of wrestler, has made his turn logical, realistic,
and perhaps, inevitable.

Compare this to Hulk Hogan's heel turn at "Bash at the Beach": he walks out
to the ring ... he drops a leg ... he's a bad guy! Sure it was a shock, but
was it logical? Did it make sense? All his turn had to draw on was what the
fans have always percieved as a huge ego-which Hogan identified as the
basis of his turn ("I made wrestling what it is today!"). If you hated
Hogan before, the turn gave you no reason to stop hating him. Even if you
liked him, it was his actions that followed more than his words that made
you, as a fan, turn on him. Sneak attacks from behind, and cowardly retreats
are all that keep the fans booing him. He has gone from being the shallowest
babyface in wrestling history to the shallowest heel. Any words he speaks
sound more like prewritten speeches than anything indicative of the "real"
Hulk Hogan. We hate him because we are supposed to, according to WCW.

Hart, on the other hand, has earned his new heel status. We've seen a once
admirable person-one who'd only get "extreme" if pushed too hard-go
completely over the edge. What most other wrestlers would merely accept,
Hart has lingered over and dwelled upon. He still hasn't accepted his loss
at last year's Wrestlemania. He still blames Michaels for his loss to Sid at
last December's In Your House (the only real weak part of the whole buildup
to this turn). He blames the refs for his loss at the Royal Rumble. What
started as a minority view by a few wrestling fans ("Bret is a crybaby")
became apparent to the majority. Despite Bret's own claims to the contrary
of moving beyond those setbacks, it's apparent that he hasn't. He still
cannot stand Shawn Michaels, even though Shawn was clearly the better man at
WrestleMania XII. If Hart were "the better man," he wouldn't keep bringing
up the fact that he "didn't lose that match."

The whole turn has been draped in realism. Hart's comments about the
American fans sting because they smack of the truth. Hart won the match
versus Steve Austin at WrestleMania, yet he was booed. Would Shawn Michaels
have been booed as loudly? The Undertaker? Probably not. Steve Austin is as
despicable a character as there's ever been in wrestling and the fans
cheered him on. Any criticisms Hart levels at the American fans are dead-on
in that respect.

But Hart has gone beyond that-he's had to-to complete the turn. The above
only establishes him as unpopular, (to American fans), but not a heel. What
completed the turn, fleshed out the canvas if you will, was the attack on
Michaels. Even if you believe that Shawn "faked" his injury, (a notion the
average fan will probably dismiss), his attack from behind shows just what a
fundamental change Hart has undergone. The "old" Bret Hart would never
attack someone from behind, not to mention doing so to a person who was
supposedly injured already. This was the furtherance of the actions began at
the end of his match against Austin.

Add in to all this Hart's personal verbal attacks against the WWF's other
upper echelon wrestlers: calling Sid a fraud, his disparaging remarks aimed
at the Undertaker. He went just short of outright accusing Shawn of being
gay, for crying out loud! This wasn't simply empty name calling like we see
so often by heels (WCW's in particular). These were comments delivered with
conviction, perhaps seeming more genuine because (just perhaps) Bret
actually believes some of these things. Bret Hart is now accusable of being
everything including a "crybaby," a "sore loser," a "bigot," and "jealous."
Whether any of these labels are accurate or true, Hart has established that
we, as fans, are entitled to call him such.

Unfortunately, we've seen the high point of all this already. No doubt that
from now on Hart will play the more conventional heel, doing run-ins, saying
how much better he is than everyone else, etc. What would be even worse is
if the WWF turns Austin into a pandering babyface (like Michaels) to counter
this. My hope is that they won't. What can't be denied, though, is the
emotion that Hart's rallying cry "the Best there is ... " will raise in the
minds of those that hear it. Never has something that once seemed so true
become something so vile, venemous, and ugly.

The ratings for this week are in and if accurate, they represent one of the
narrowest margins of victory for Nitro in the course of Nitro's assumption
of the number one spot on Monday Nights.

(Courtesy MiCasa):

Raw 1st hour: 2.4     Nitro 1st hour: 2.9
Raw 2nd hour: 2.6     Nitro 2nd hour: 3.1
Raw average:  2.5     Nitro average:  3.0

With the exception of the February 24th ratings, (in which ECW appeared on
RAW and Nitro showed us that Savage had joined the NWO following
SuperBrawl), this was the closest margin between the two shows since early
August, and was Nitro's third lowest (following a 2.9 and a 2.95) since that
time as well. Did the Academy Awards affect it? Consider the following:

 - Nitro started at 6:55 PM Central time-a full two minutes before RAW and
   one hour and five minutes before the Academy Awards started. Nitro ended
   during what is considered the dullest part of the awards show-the start
   of it's second hour. This was an advantage both shows would have
   throughout most of the country.

 - RAW started at 6:57 PM Central time, and ended slightly before Nitro.
   HOWEVER, the feed for RAW runs on a tape delay on the west coast, where
   interest in the awards is the highest. RAW would have started at 8:57 PM
   Pacific time, which put it up against the strongest portion of the awards
   show. It also had to contend with the Nitro replay, which started shortly
   after 9:00 PM Pacific time. The only advantage RAW had was that on the
   west coast delayed feed, the last half hour took place after the awards
   ended.

Any adverse affect the Academy Awards would have had would have hit RAW
harder than Nitro. Nitro was able to get their whole show in before the
Oscars got interesting. RAW, on the west coast, had to go directly up
against against the highest rated portions of the awards. Despite not having
one real good match on the show, they were able to draw their average, be up
from last week's ratings, all on the strength of Bret Hart's antics.

Nitro, meanwhile, as much as conceded the night-not to RAW so much, but to
the Academy Awards. No Hogan. No Piper. No Sting. No Rodman. Some might say
Ric Flair was the only thing that saved this week's show. On a night when
they should have pulled out all the stops, they instead yanked their biggest
draws and ran squashes and highlights packages. And their ratings suffered.
It clearly shows that Nitro has a bigger fan base, and doesn't even have to
try in order to beat RAW-if that's WCW's only goal. What can't be ignored
though, is that the WWF may be closing the gap. WCW may not be as appealing
to it's own fans as it once was. Pull Hogan from the show-offer up the
Academy Awards-and WCW's fickle fans left in droves. They lost as much as
one-fifth (if not more) of their usual audience. RAW didn't. They managed
to draw their fifth highest rating in the last six months. Yes, Nitro did
win again, but it was by their second narrowest margin in seven months.

Finally, on a down note, KBSU didn't carry the N1 feed last Friday, nor this
Monday when ECW would have aired. My getting them last week may have been
a one-shot fluke. D'oh!

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This Week's Winner: RAW, by the skin on Bret Hart's nose.

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