[RESULTS/OPINION] WWF Monday Night RAW/WCW Monday Nitro (3/3)

WWF Monday Night RAW: Taped 2/26. 2 hours.
Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jim Ross.

 - The German ring announcer introduces the Honky Tonk Man, who joins Ross
   and McMahon for color commentary.

 - HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY vs. BRET "HITMAN" HART
   The crowd pops for Helmsley's music, and the ladies seem to like him as
   well. Hart delivers comments re: Steve Austin before coming to the ring.
   As the match starts they show taped footage of Steve Austin arriving at
   the WWF studios. They will be cutting to him live later in the show.

   Things go real slow for the first segment. It's all stuff down on the
   mat, with the crowd pretty much behind Hart.

   Following a commercial break Jim Ross announces that both Jerry "The
   King" Lawler and Paul E. Dangerously will be calling in: Lawler from
   Memphis and Dangerously from Philadelphia.

   More than ten minutes in we finally get our first big spot of the match:
   a suplex off the top by Hart. Helmsley had been in control for the last
   several minutes. After a few more minutes on non-stop slow action
   Helmsley tries the Pedigree, but Hart reverses it into a leg whip into
   the corner. Hart then starts to apply the Sharpshooter (which earns a
   roar from the crowd) but Helmsley escapes with a rake to the eyes. Hart
   stumbles into a corner. Helmsley follows and tries to whip him out, but
   Hart reverses it and Helmsley does his Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair flop,
   hooking his foot under the top turnbuckle and hanging there. Hart moves
   in to kick Helmsley in the head. The ref tries to pull Hart off and Hart
   shoves him down, causing a disqualification.

   Enter the large woman to Helmsley's aid. She stares Hart down, backing
   him away from Helmsley. She gives him a textbook evil sneer, while Hart
   has this look that's one part "are you kidding?", one part "what the
   hell is this?", and one part "no way McMahon." A handful of WWF suits
   enter and escort her from the ring. Partway down the aisle Helmsley
   shoves them off her and walks her the rest of the way out.

   Anyone who has read my Recaps before knows my dislike of Helmsley. Also,
   Bret Hart has a reputation of being a lazy main-eventer. Both lived down
   to my expectations in this one.

 - They cut to the WWF studio where Austin awaits. The camera shows an empty
   chair. As we begin to wonder where he could be, we hear a toilet flush.
   Too much coffee I guess.

 - They recap Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith's troubles.

 - VADER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. ROCKY MAIVIA
   They show footage of Vader getting busted open at Final Four, and his
   elimination at the hands of the Undertaker. Ross gives Vadergood odds of
   winning, since Vader defeated Maivia in the first round of the European
   Title tournament.

   Vader starts off practically mauling the kid. He then moves in for a
   headlock and the camera unfortunately gets a good shot of him giving
   instructions to Rocky. Jim Ross says Vader is verbally intimidating him.
   Uh-huh. Vader tosses Rocky around a bit. Rocky manages a Sunset Flip, but
   Vader just sits down, crunching Maivia. Vader then covers for a series of
   two counts. Rocky just starts to come back as they go to a break.

   Vader now has Rocky in serious trouble. He drags him over to the corner
   and hits a splash off the second rope. Rocky barely kicks out of the
   cover. Vader goes up again and this time Rocky (sort of) catches Vader
   and powerslams him. They then go toe-to-toe and Rrocky applies a
   surprisingly impressive belly-to-belly suplex. Vader kicks out of the
   pin. Rocky then tries to whip him into the ropes, but Vader reverses it.
   Rocky ducks the swinging clothesline, slides around him, and hits a DDT.
   Maivia then goes up top for a high crossbody splash. Rocky then dropkicks
   Vader over the top to the floor. Rocky follows and the two trade blows.
   Out of nowhere comes Mankind with the urn. He charges and hits Maivia,
   causing a DQ. Vader, upset that Mankind has cost him the title, strips
   off his mask and beats up Rocky in the ring.

   Oh yeah. Vader has shaved his head, making him now look like a real
   mutant freak.

 - They recap the whole Lawler/ECW challenge, and show highlights of the
   matches last week. They do a good job of showcasing the visual and verbal
   highlights. Hilariously enough, they distort the footage of Sandman
   smashing the beer can over his head, as well as the foreign object shots,
   but they show the chairshots and Sandman's bloody forehead unedited. Go
   figure!

 - THE SULTAN vs. FLASH FUNK
   Arrrgh! Let's get this over quick: Flash dominates most of the match, but
   seems to hurt himself on a huracanrana. He then hits a moonsault, but the
   Sultan kicks out and Funk comes up groggy. He then goes into the corner,
   jumps up and puts the Sultan's head in a scissors, then tries to
   corkscrew him out of the corner, but the Sultan drops the move into
   something like a powerbomb. He then applies the Camel Clutch and Funk is
   quick to submit.

   During the match Lawler phones in and chastises McMahon for showing the
   ECW footage again. He calls last week the lowest point in the history of
   RAW. He renews his challenge for Paul E. and his boys to show up next
   week. Lawler says all the WWF wrestlers are on his side in being
   disgusted by ECW. McMahon says Lawler had some passport problems, thus
   his absence.

   Paul E. calls in a few minutes later and plays it pretty straight. He
   tells McMahon that they will accept Lawler's challenge again, but this
   time they may not show up at RAW: they may pop up at Madison Square
   Garden, or in Philly, or who knows where.

 - They show footage of the last time Steve Austin was kept waiting at the
   WWF studios, from last October. Ross says the security guard Austin
   roughed up retired soon thereafter.

 - McMahon says they talked to Mankind earlier in the day, and he apparently
   knows how to speak German. (I wonder if he's learned the German word for
   "formaldehyde?") They then interview Sycho Sid, who faces Mankind later
   in the show.

 - More clips of Owen and the Bulldog's problems.

 - The German ring announcer introduces Ahmed Johnson. Between Ahmed's
   gravelly growl, and the announcer's accent, I have no idea what was said,
   other than Ahmed's accepting Faarooq's challenge to a "Chicago Street
   Fight" at WrestleMania 13. He apparently also says he won't be there
   alone. the crowd chants "you're going down!"

 - Clips of the Road Warriors' return last week. They run an interview from
   Superstars, which they label as being from Shotgun Saturday Night (is
   that still on?) As good as this show has been (ehhhh), it's been nearly
   twenty minutes since they showed a match.

   Mankind enters the ring and they show a clip of him speaking German (sort
   of).

 - SYCHO SID vs. MANKIND (w/ Paul Bearer)
   Sid starts off slinging Mankind around the ring. They both go to the
   floor and duke it out there. They reenter the ring and ... holy cow! ...
   Sid's wrestling! He takes Mankind down and applies an armbar. They cut in
   with a split-screen of Steve Austin at the studios. Austin is peeved at
   his shabby treatment, having to once again fly in from his home to
   Connecticut. He goes off on a rant about his poor flight seat, his cheap
   bag lunch, and how he's sick of hearing Bret Hart whine.

   Back to the match and Mankind has seized control. Sid is down on the mat
   and Mankind delivers a legdrop on the apron. After some more offense they
   go to a break. Upon return Sid has taken over. They spill to the floor
   and Sid slams the back of Mankind's head into the post. He then applies a
   back suplex(!). Sid enters the ring and drags Mankind up on the apron and
   delivers a few shots, but Mankind drops down, stretching Sid's neck
   across the top rope. Mankind scoots in and slaps on a headlock. Sid
   escapes, but Mankind catches him again and puts on the Mandible Claw. Sid
   starts to go down, manually powers out of the hold, but Mankind then hits
   a double arm DDT. Sid kicks out of the pin attempt. Mankind applies a
   sleeper. Sid fights his way out of it, getting to his feet, then dropping
   to his back, smashing Mankind. Sid then whips him in the corner and goes
   up for the obligatory ten punches.

   Paul Bearer tries to interfere and distracts Sid. Mankind charges but Sid
   moves and Paul Bearer goes down. Sid then hits the chokeslam, but Mankind
   kicks out. Sid finishes him off with an impressive powerbomb.

   Fairly standard match, but Sid really worked this time out.

 - Another Owen/Bulldog clip. This time it's from Shotgun Saturday Night,
   where the Bulldog fires Clarence Mason. This was on Superstars last week
   as well.

 - Comments from Steve Austin. He asks why when Shawn got hurt they made a
   video, yet when Austin wrestled at Final Four, he was "sick as a dog with
   a blown out knee" and nothing was made of it. "What other one-legged man
   could go twenty-five minutes with three of the toughest wrestlers in the
   world? Answer: none!" He also mentions Ken Shamrock, who said last week
   that Hart was the better technical wrestler, but Austin had "no quit in
   him."

   I should mention at this point that McMahon announced (during the
   Sid/Mankind match) that RAW next week is being billed as "RAW is WAR,"
   declared as such by President Gorilla Monsoon. The Undertaker and Sid
   will team up as partners in a match (probably vs. Vader and Mankind, but
   they didn't say). Ken Shamrock will also appear. Perhaps Paul E. and the
   boys of ECW as well. Oh baby!

 - THE BRITISH BULLDOG vs. OWEN HART
   They begin by trading armbars; both men using acrobatics to escape and
   apply reversals. The Bulldog goes into a turtle-like spin and turns an
   armbar into a wristlock. Owen escapes and whips the Bulldog into the
   corner. He jumps on to monkeyflip Smith into the center of the ring, but
   Davey Boy cartwheels out of the corner, counteracting the move. Owen then
   tries a hiptoss. The Bulldog blocks, but Owen somersaults over and is
   able to get the leverage needed to apply the toss. He moves in on the
   prone Bulldog, but Davey Boy kicks Owen away. The two come to their feet
   and stare down as the crowd cheers. They slap hands as a sign of
   sportsmanship and circle each other.

   They try a test of strenght and Owen goes down, bridging to keep off the
   mat. The crowd cheers and claps politely and for just a moment I'd swear
   the match was in Japan. Owen powers his way up, breaks the hold with a
   kick to the Bulldog's midsection, drags the Bulldog over to the ropes,
   springs to the top rope, drops to the second, springboard flips over,
   completely escaping the hold. He finishes this breathtaking string of
   maneuvers off with a hiptoss. He then tries a huracanrana, but the
   Bulldog turns it into a powerbomb. He then grabs the legs and catapults
   Owen up and over the top rope to the floor. The Bulldog celebrates with a
   cartwheel. Davey Boy then sits on the second rope, inviting Owen back in.

   Once there, the Bulldog applies a hammerlock. Owen reaches up and back
   and flips himself over the Bulldog, getting behind him. He rolls him up
   for a pin, but the Bulldog kicks out. The two are back on their feet and
   Smith armdrags Owen to the mat, applying an armbar. He then weakens the
   arm with a few kneedrops. He gets up, towing Owen behind and twists the
   armbar into a hammerlock. Owen tries to flip himself up and over again
   but the Bulldog centers himself under him then slams him to the mat,
   Owen's arm still tucked behind him. They then cut to a commercial.
   (Arrrrggghhh!!!)

   Back from the break and the Bulldog has continued to work on Owen's left
   arm. He lifts Owen up by that arm then drops him back to the mat. Owen
   escapes by pushing the Bulldog into the ropes, then whips him to the
   opposite side. The Bulldog ducks the clothesline and leaps upon Owen's
   back, crucifixing the arms and rolling him into a pinning position. Owen
   kicks out. The Bulldog tries a vertical suplex, but Owen drops out of it
   and plants a kick to Davey Boy's midsection. Smith catches the boot. Owen
   tries to whip around with an enzuguiri kick, but the Bulldog ducks. The
   Bulldog then mounts Owen from behind with a surfboard (my, that sounds
   obscene). The Bulldog gets Owen up in the surfboard. The ref moves in to
   see if Owen will submit and Owen grabs him, which gives him the leverage
   needed to escape the hold. The Bulldog catches him and snap mares him to
   the mat, going back to work on the left arm. Owen gets to his feet and
   the Bulldog whips him into the ropes. He drops to the mat and Owen hops
   over. He then leapfrogs Owen coming fromn the other way. On the third
   pass the Bulldog drops to his back and uses his feet to flip Owen five
   or six feet into the air. They both get to their feet and the Bulldog
   charges but Owen, who has his back to the ropes, flips him up and over
   the top. The Bulldog crashes to the floor. Owen mimmics the Bulldog with
   a cartwheel of his own, which elicits a boo from the crowd. Owen sits on
   the second rope, again mimmicing the Bulldog, inviting Davey Boy back
   in. Davey Boy slaps his knee, signalling he may have hurt it. He takes a
   second to walk it off, then reenters the ring. Owen makes a move as if to
   show he thought about attacking the Bulldog as he entered, but that he
   got back in too quick. They slap hands again.

   The Bulldog grabs Owen and slaps on a headlock and whips him to the mat.
   Owen gets to his feet and they again go into the ropes. Owen leapfrogs
   over the Bulldog, but pulls up "lame" upon landing. The Bulldog ignores
   the referee and moves in, perhaps not convinced. Owen, playing possum,
   catches him with a kick, dropping the Bulldog. Owen then goes to work on
   the knee Davey Boy wrenched earlier. Owen tries to apply a Sharpshooter,
   but the Bulldog pushes him off with his legs. They both come up and
   their tempers have let go. They shove each other a few times. The Bulldog
   grabs Owen by the hair and slaps him into a headlock. Owen whips the
   Bulldog into the ropes and catches him with a spinning heel kick. Owen
   does a little jig to limber himself up, then grabs Davey Boy's legs and
   plants a kick to the lower midsection. He picks up the Bulldog, then
   drops him into a backbreaker. Owen follows up with a kneedrop to the
   back. He whips the Bulldog hard into the corner and Davey Boy slams into
   the turnbuckles back-first, then drops to the mat. Owen scoops him up for
   a slam, then a legdrop across the throat. The Bulldog kicks out at two
   and a half. Owen applies a headlock. The Bulldog escapes with an elbow to
   the ribs. He hits the ropes and Owen catches him on the rebound with a
   knee to the midsection. He then stomps him to the edge of the mat where
   the Bulldog drops to the floor, circles the ring and catches his breath.

   Owen moves over to the ropes to meet Smith as he reenters, but Davey Boy
   Sunset Flips him into a pinning predicament. Owen kicks out after two.
   Back on their feet and Owen catches him with a clothesline. He drops an
   elbow. Owen slaps on another headlock and they go to commercial.

   After a lengthy break (including this week's "Rewind") Davey Boy is about
   to break out of the headlock. A few elbow shots and he escapes. Into the
   ropes he goes and Owen catches him with a belly-to-belly-over-the-head
   suplex. Owen covers for two. After the kickout, Owen rolls him over and
   rides atop him, applying a chinlock. Davey Boy gets to his feet with Owen
   on his shoulders and he drops him to the mat. Smith charges Owen in the
   corner but Owen catches him with a knee. He then tries to roll him up for
   a pin using the ropes for added leverage, but the Bulldog kicks out. Owen
   is back up and hits a neckbreaker, then an elbow off the second rope. The
   Bulldog kicks out. Another headlock ensues. Owen then sets the Bulldog on
   the top turnbuckle for a suplex. The Bulldog reverses it and lands atop
   Owen for a two count. Owen whips the Bulldog into the ropes. Davey Boy
   catches Owen with a leaping clothesline. Then another ... and a third.
   Davey Boy applies a high vertical suplex and covers for a two count. He
   then whips Owen into the corner. Owen hits hard chest-first. The Bulldog
   hoists Owen up, pressing him over his head. He walks over and drops Owen
   on the top rope, straddling it. The referee gives the Bulldog some grief
   as McMahon speculates that maybe it was an accident.

   Owen drops to the apron. Smith goes over and suplexes him in, but Owen
   escapes at it's apex and slips behind Davey Boy, German Suplexing him
   with a bridge into pinning position. He kicks out after the two count.
   Owen backs Davey Boy into the corner and whips him back out. Smith
   reverses it, then follows him to the opposite corner. Owen tries to leap
   over the charging Bulldog, but Smith catches him by the feet and tries to
   pull him out of the corner. Owen holds onto the ropes, then pushes off,
   rolling the Bulldog up into a pin. The Bulldog kicks out at two. Owen
   gets up and leaps to the opposite turnbuckles, vaulting off the second
   with a reverse crossbody. The Bulldog catches him and they go over with
   Smith coming out on top, covering for a two count. Owen then tries a kick
   to the midsection but Davey Boy catches it. Owen twists and catches him
   with an enzuguiri kick. The Bulldog flips over to the mat.

   Owen slowly gets up and grabs the legs, flipping the Bulldog over into a
   Sharpshooter. Davey Boy refuses to give up and powers his way over to the
   ropes. The ref calls for the break and Owen thinks he's won. The ref
   tells him otherwise. Owen moves back in and whips the Bulldog across the
   ring. Davey Boy reverses it and catches Owen in a tilt-a-whirl. Owen uses
   his momentum to go through it and lands on his feet, then hoists the
   Bulldog up for a Tombstone Piledriver. The Bulldog shifts his weight and
   takes the move up and over, landing on his feet and hoisting Owen onto
   his shoulder for a powerslam to the mat. Owen kicks out of the pinfall.
   As the Bulldog questions the ref, Owen comes up from behind and leaps
   onto his shoulders, victory rolling him forward into a pin. The Bulldog
   reverses out of it and wraps Owen up for the surprise three count.

   The Bulldog is the new European Heavyweight Champion, the first new WWF
   title in nearly twenty years. Owen is green with envy, and doesn't look
   to be taking the loss well. He grudgingly shakes hands with the Bulldog
   as the show ends.

 - Next week's main event: Undertaker & Sid vs. ???

Comments: This was the best match I've seen this year. That's all there is
to say about it really. Other than that, RAW was good, but really dragged in
the middle. Hart and Helmsley phoned their match in. Sid surprised me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WCW Monday Nitro: Live.
HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.

 - The NWO are shown getting out of a massive Hummer converted into a
   stretch limo. That's one bad-ass piece of road hog! As the NWO passes the
   camera swings over to show that Dr. Harvey Schiller, head of TNT Sports,
   has also arrived.

 - HUGH MORRUS/KONNAN vs. JEFF JARRETT/STEVE MCMICHAEL (w/ Debra)
   Morrus has Jarrett reeling early and it appears that Morrus has something
   of a following amongst the crowd. Morrus and Konnan keep Jarrett in their
   corner and prevent Mongo from tagging in. Morrus goes up to the top as
   Konnan holds on to Jarrett. Jarrett hits Konnan with a mule kick low blow
   and escapes. Morrus nails Konnan with the crossbody block off the top.
   Jarrett makes the hot tag to Mongo and he comes in with a series of
   clotheslines, then hoists Morrus up for a press slam. Konnan is also
   slammed. He then hits each with a shoulderblock out of a three point
   stance.

   Suddenly the Public Enemy come to ringside and try to take the briefcase
   away from Debra. Jarrett comes to her rescue and gets into a tug-of-war
   with Johnny Grunge over the case. Jarrett pulls it away and it flies
   back, nailing Mongo in the face with a meaty thud. Mongo drops to the mat
   and Konnan covers for the pin. If you looked quick, you could see blood
   gushing from Mongo's head, as he was clearly cut by the briefcase. Debra,
   Arn Anderson, Ric Flair and Mean Gene Okerlund all pile in the ring for
   an interview. Arn and Flair chew out Jarrett for the shot (which was
   obviously planned-the blood wasn't). Jarrett tries to sell his case.
   Debra sticks up for him, saying it was a mistake. The camera spends most
   of the time either avoiding Mongo, or pulling back for a long shot.

 - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. RICK FULLER
   Fuller is a big bearded jobber who has some moves. Page wins by escaping
   from a press slam and nailing the Diamond Cutter. The crowd goes
   absolutely nuts, and Page is as over as any other WCW top rank star.

   Mean Gene interviews Page. They replay the clip of Randy Savage attacking
   him last week.

 - JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. RAY MENDOZA
   This match really bothered me. I'll grant you it had some great high
   flying moves, but a few things about it just irked me. For starters, who
   the hell is Ray Mendoza? Second, some of the blown spots were real
   laughers. At one point Guerrera whips Mendoza into the ropes ... except
   that he doesn't really apply any force and Mendoza leisurely jogs across
   the ring. Guerrera follows and hits the turnbuckles after Mendoza clearly
   moves out of the way. Guerrera has the reflexes to do all these amazing
   things, yet he couldn't stop himself with half the ring yet to cross?
   Guerrera never sold any move for more than three seconds. Also he does a
   tope from the apron through the ropes , cutting across the corner, then
   onto Mendoza. An interesting move that landed with very little impact.
   He then gets on the apron with Mendoza, springboards onto the top rope,
   whirls, and sloppily huracanrana's Mendoza into the ring. They then go to
   the top and try to suplex each other. Mendoza ends up straddling the rope
   and Guerrera hits a springboard spinning kick that barely grazes Mendoza.
   He finishes him off with the "Dis That Nearly Missed" (a 450 degree
   splash onto Mendoza's upraised knees).

   A sloppy, spot driven match with no sense of flow. Can someone show these
   Mexicans how to sell a move for more than three to five seconds? (I'm
   not racist ... just a jerk).

 - Jimmy Hart, Kevin Sullivan and Jacquelyn come out to the announcer's
   desk and spend several minutes telling us they're "Too Legit To Quit."
   Next week they'll tell us we "Can't Touch This." Jacquelyn has trouble
   keeping her chest inside her dress.

 - Hank Aaron is shown in the crowd. Apparently he lives in the Omni.

 - "MEAN" MIKE ENOS vs. DEAN MALENKO
   Why?

   This was another weird one. Malenko comes out absolutely on fire, beating
   Enos pillar to post. Enos finally starts to get some offense in and
   Malenko small packages him for the win. I guess this is supposed to make
   us forget about Dean being a cruiserweight, and help establish him as a
   U.S. Title contender. (Personally I think he and Eddie Guerrero should be
   fighting over the T.V. Title, not the U.S. belt. Prince Iaukea should be
   the Cruiserweight champ, and Syxx should be in jail for his part in the
   Steiner Brothers assault).

   Malenko gets on the mic and demands respect from Guerrero.

 - Mean Gene interviews Eric Bischoff. Bischoff says that the NWO will be
   glad to put all their belts on the line vs. WCW's belts at Uncensored.

   Out comes Dr. Harvey Schiller, head of TNT Sports and Eric Bischoff's
   superior, who asks what makes him think he has the authority to fire
   referees, strip titles, and make up the rules as he goes along? Bischoff
   says he thinks he has these powers. Dr.Schiller says "you may have a
   contract, but as of now you are suspended. I don't even wanna know you
   are answering the telephone! I don't even wanna know that there was a
   rumor that you were in a men's room at a WCW event!" Dr. Schiller leaves
   with Bischoff on his heels as the Omni crowd goes nuts.

   After expecting Ted Turner for the last month, this was a big letdown.

 - EDDIE GUERRERO vs. ULTIMO DRAGON
   This was crisper than the above cruiserweight match, but still wasn't all
   that great. Some good high flying moves. Sonny Onoo tries to interfere to
   no effect. Guerrero wins by reversing a crossbody block. Guerrero's feet
   were on the ropes and he scrambled like mad to get them off (since he's a
   fan favorite), but still got the accidentally "tainted" win. Match was
   really short.

   Mean Gene interviews him. He says Malenko hasn't accepted his apology.
   Dean comes out and accuses Guerrero of not respecting him.

HOUR TWO: Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mike Tenay.

 - Recap of Bischoff being suspended.

 - M. WALLSTREET vs. SCOTTY RIGGS
   They took waaaaaaay too long to get to what was obviously going to be the
   finish to this one. Maybe seven or eight minutes until Riggs is just on
   the verge of winning when ... everyone all together ... Buff Bagwell runs
   in. Riggs wins via DQ. Bagwell and Wallstreet stomp on Riggs, but Scotty
   slips to the floor, then chases the two off with a chair.

   Tony Schiavone announces that "Rowdy" Roddy Piper has arrived.

 - Lee Marshall phones in from Panama City, Florida.

 - Piper comes out in an NWO style t-shirt that instead reads "I.C.O.N."
   He says he has a family at home, and the fans are his second family.
   Tonight he's going to put together a team of guys that will serve as his
   third "family." He's going to wrestle six guys, one at a time, and the
   fans can choose who gets to make the cut.

   The first guys is a muscular nobody that Piper beats in about a minute,
   no ref in the ring. Piper makes his own three count and the fans signal
   thumbs down.

   The second guy an even bigger nobody, and he really goes to work on
   Piper, but the crowd roots Roddy on and he quickly slaps on a sleeper and
   puts him out. Another thumbs down.

   The third guy comes out, but never makes it to the ring as he's hit from
   behind by an out of shape bearded guy. This is the fourth man and he
   enters the ring, tossing a pair of boxing gloves to Piper. This boxer,
   looking like a big creampuff, jogs around the ring as Piper puts on the
   gloves. After three minutes or so of this guy holding his own, knocking
   Piper down a few times, Piper halts the fight and gives him a thumbs up.
   The fans give a thumbs down. Piper says they're being too harsh and
   starts fighting again, this time both without gloves. The guys keeps
   coming back as the fans boo. Piper eventually gets the guy out of the
   ring, just in time for the next one ...

   Number five is a tall, bearded kickboxer. "Barefoot and tatooed ... what
   a combo." says Tony. "Barefoot and tatooed-sounds like the winner of the
   Miss Kentucky contest!" replies the Brain.

   Again, Piper gets as well as he gives from this guy. The fans will have
   no part of it, but Piper declares him family.

   Number six comes out and it's John Tenta ... 'nuff said.

   The boxer and kickboxer come in and rumble with Tenta, all three fighting
   each other. Piper eventually stops them and declares this rogues gallery
   of slobs, misfits and has-beens as his new family.

   This was either one of the greatest moments ever in professional
   wrestling, or one of the lowest: I haven't decided which. I'll just go on
   the record as saying-what the HELL!!!

 - REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. MR. J.L.
   Prince Iaukea delivers comments from the lockerroom. This was yet another
   cavalcade of high spots, with the outcome never in doubt. Mysterio wins
   with his springboard huracanrana roll-up, which gets less unique and
   mysterious every time he uses it.

 - Mean Gene interviews Madusa. She reminds us of how she trashed a world
   class title to come to WCW, and how WCW has ignored her for months. She
   then mentions Luna Vachon for no real apparent reason.

   Out comes Luna and she attacks Madusa. They go to commercial. This isn't
   mentioned for the rest of the show.

 - The NWO come out and kill a few minutes. Bischoff says he and Hogan are
   tight with Ted Turner, and this "suspension" won't last. Sting comes out
   with the NWO and Tony plays this up heavily. Every NWO member is there
   except for Wallstreet, Nick Patrick and Masahiro Chono.

 - THE STEINER BROTHERS vs. LEX LUGER/THE GIANT
   Luger and the Giant are billed as World Tag Team Champions. No real match
   here. About two or three minutes in the NWO come back out to the ring.
   They circle the ring. Piper and his goons come out to back up the WCW
   guys. The NWO charge the ring, Sting backs away from the melee, and the
   show goes off the air.

 - Next week's main event: None announced.

Comments: Wow! What can I say about this one. It better than the last
several weeks. the first hour was pretty good in fact. the second hour
though, especially the Piper thing ... I'm nearly speechless. This was
monumentally bad. the audience was dead, disinterested, frankly on the verge
of rioting at points. They finally popped when Tenta came out just because
he was a familiar face (wanna bet he betrays Piper, joining the NWO?)

As far as I'm concerned Nitro didn't even put up a fight this week. I didn't
even see the first match during the live airing. The Bischoff suspension
nearly played out during a RAW commercial I think. Overall, during the two
hour period they went head-to-head, I spent more than 80% of the time
watching RAW. The only time I stayed with Nitro more than a few seconds was
during the Piper affair, which was so surreal I kept telling my brother to
turn to it.

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The Bottom Line: Next week's show was really hyped as a special event, like
Thursday RAW Thursday. Paul E. and ECW showing up is almost a certainty, and
lots of comments tonight indicated some interesting things to come. (Among
them was something that the Honky Tonk Man perhaps let slip about being part
of the WWF guys who keep the ECW guys from crashing WrestleMania, or as he
put it, "Johnny-come-latelys"). I don't think some form of ECW presence at
WrestleMania is out of the question. An ECW match is a possibility. I
wouldn't go so far as predicting an all out interpromotional feud down the
road, but some WWF vs. ECW matches wouldn't be out of the question.
Certainly Lawler seems to be on a course to a match with someone from ECW.
I would expect the WWF's involvement with ECW to continue at least until
their PPV on April 13th.

From some of the 'Net sources (primarily the "News from Dayton") it's
rumored that Ken Shamrock has indeed signed with the WWF, and may appear as
the special referee for the Hart/Austin Submission Match. A feud with Austin
after that is a possibility. Comments from Austin, as well as confirmation
that Shamrock would be on RAW next week, would seem to back this assertion
up.

WrestleMania is shaping up nicely. So far we have:

 * Sycho Sid vs. The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Title.
 * Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin in a Submission Match.
 * British Bulldog/Owen Hart vs. Undertaker/Mankind for the Tag Titles.
 * Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson in a Chicago Street Fight.
 * Rocky Maivia will defend the Intercontinental Title.

Also possibly on the card:

 * Road Warriors vs. The Headbangers.
 * Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

Add in Shamrock as the special referee, and a possible ECW match, and this
looks pretty good. Another rumor that I haven't heard much about lately is
that Dennis Rodman might appear in Goldust's corner. I don't know if the NBA
or the Chicago Bulls would allow it, but if so, Rodman doesn't have a game
that Sunday (nor the following Monday night). Rodman's presence would offset
that of Helmsley's new "lady." And WrestleMania IS in Chicago. I doubt
there's much chance of this happening, but it's fun to think about.

Uncensored looks to be WCW's worst PPV of the year, but this time almost
deliberately so. Thus far we have:

 * Some kind of match involving all the titles in WCW, with apparently one
   team each from the NWO, WCW and Piper's team.
 * Jarrett/McMichael vs the Public Enemy.
 * Prince Iaukea vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
 * Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko.

Bagwell vs. Riggs would seem a possibility, and Page vs. Savage is also
likey. Perhaps Benoit vs. Sullivan, or a mixed match involving Jacquelyn
and Woman. Madusa vs. Luna Vachon as well. To me this looks like a terrible
card, with only one potentially good match. It looks like a rehash of
SuperBrawl, and your average Nitro. Fortunately for WCW, the buyrate for
SuperBrawl wasn't all that bad, so it'll probably do well. I expect Nitro
to do well this week in the ratings, especially in that half hour stretch
starting with RAW running interviews and recaps, and ending with the Piper
thing. The last fifteen minutes will be huge as usual, even though this
week's final quarter hour was less interesting than it has been for weeks.
How many weeks in a row is it now that Nitro has promised a certain match as
the main event and hasn't delivered?

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This Week's Winner: RAW.

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