WWF Monday Night RAW: Taped 11/25. Hosted by Vince McMahon, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Before we even get the graphic content advisory or opening sequence they show a quick promo hyping the Undertaker/Mankind "No Holds Barred" match. - SID vs. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY Sid easily defeated Helmsley back on the RAW Championship Friday show prior to the "Mind Games" PPV, and this one was no different. Sid comes out to a fair amount of applause, but nowhere near that which Shawn Michaels or Bret Hart usually gets. Not a good sign considering this was taped the night after Surviver Series. (In Sid's defense, it may have been one of the first matches of the night-if not the first, or may have been late in the tapings after a lot of people usually leave.) Helmsley, who has been prominently featured the last few weeks, still gets next to no crowd reaction. Sid gets all the offense, nearly finishing him off with the usual powerbomb. Instead of taking the clean pin, Hunter crawls out of the ring and loses by countout. - More hype for the "No Holds Barred" match. - GOLDUST (w/ Marlena) vs. BART GUNN Maybe it's just my imagination, but Goldy looks like he's losing a little weight. Bart, meanwhile, is about as exciting as lead paint. Early on Bart is thrown to the outside and Marlena blows smoke in his face. Goldust follows him out. Bart lands a low-ish blow and puts him in a headlock. Goldust escapes and whips him into the steps. Jim Ross complains about how hard it is to commentate while fans are asking him for his autograph. Goldust suplexes Bart back into the ring. Bart then gains some brief offense as they cut to a shot of Bill Gunn watching the match on a monitor in the back. The match seesaws back and forth for the next few minutes until the commercial break. Back from the break, Bart has taken control of the match. Things speed up a bit and Bart gets set to deliver a shot off the top turnbuckle but Goldust ducks. Bart hits his knee hard on the mat and comes up with a limp. Goldust capitalizes by clipping the knee from behind, followed by the pin. Then Billy Gunn comes out, grabs a mic and tells Bart he's nothing without him. Bart recovers enough to lay in a few shots and chase Billy off. Not too bad a match, but far from what I'd like to be seeing on RAW (I just hate the Gunns.) - Even more hype for the "No Holds Barred" match. - Comments from Uncle Zebekiah and Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw. Zeb mentions he was in Vietnam for eleven months, so nothing "Double J" Jesse James says scares him. Bradshaw says they're going to make James squeal like a cow. - Todd Pettengill hosts a series of highlights (lowlights?) from the Karate Fighters tournament. Jerry Lawler faces Sable in the final match on the live RAW next week. *Aaaaarrrrrrggghhhhh!!!* ANOTHER WEEK!!! - JUSTIN "HAWK" BRADSHAW/UNCLE ZEBEKIAH vs. "DOUBLE J" JESSE JAMES James (whose name is mispelled as "Jammes," which looks too much like "jammies,") again comes to the ring singing "With My Baby Tonight." Jesse's only competition is Bradshaw since Uncle Zeb (Dutch Mantell) hasn't been any good since, well... ever. I pity the audience that had to sit through this match twice. They pull out all the usual spots, down to the finish, which was the obligatory "you hold him Justin while I whack him with this here branding iron. Ready? One... two... ah Hellfire-what have I done!" Zeb accidentally knocks out Justin and James gets the pin. Bradshaw then knocks out and brands his Unca Zeb. Don't look for a face turn or revenge here, I'm betting the WWF is just dropping some dead weight in the form of Zebekiah. - Jim Ross interviews Bret Hart. (Jerry Lawler had, up to this point, lobbied Ross to let him do the interview. Ross told him he'd probably end up with his foot in his mouth.) Hart says he's not going to wrestle Sid at this Sunday's PPV, but fight him. This is exactly what everyone over the weekend shows said would cause Hart to lose the match. Speaking of which, if you missed Live Wire this past Saturday, you missed a classic. Mr. Bob Backlund officially went insane. At one point he's wearing shades and trying to smoke a cigar, claiming Bill Clinton as his new role model in his effort to become President in the year 2000. "I can eat more marijuana than anyone!" Exclaims Backlund. Bret Hart, meanwhile, says Sid will be "excellently executed!" Whatever. - UNDERTAKER vs. MANKIND (w/ Paul Bearer) They run a clip of Mankind from last week's Middle East tour, sitting in the desert pouring sand on his chest, telling Uncle Paul "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!" Undertaker gets a huge pop for his entrance. Jim Ross says "this is going to be a good ol' fashioned slobberknocker!" Undertaker starts off with his high flying clothesline, then walks the ropes and lays in a forearm blow. Undertaker signals for the quick Tombstone and picks him up, but the Executioner runs to the ring. 'Taker drops Mankind and meets the Executioner at the ropes with a shot that drops him back to the floor. Executioner heads to the back with the Undertaker in pursuit. Ross yells that Manikind is close behind as they go to break. Back to action and Mankind has been in control, slamming Undertaker all over the ringside area. Undertaker assumes control and goes to work on Mankind's hand. He stretches Mankind's forearm out across the lower half of the steps, then picks up the upper half and drops it on the hand, sandwiching it between the two halves. The two make it back into the ring and Undertaker continues to work on the hand, slamming it against a pair of turnbuckles. Mankind lays in a kick to the gut to take control. Mankind throws Undertaker into the corner and charges. Undertaker catches him with a forearm. Mankind then whips the Undertaker against the ropes and clotheslines him up and over the top, both men falling to the floor and landing on their feet. Undertaker then whips Mankind towards the stairs, but Mankind reverses the whip and 'Taker hits hard, slumping to the floor. Undertaker sells a knee injury (which looked as if it could be the real thing, he did hit pretty hard right on that knee, pad or no pad.) Mankind drags him over by McMahon, Ross and Lawler, pulls out a chair from beneath one of the Spanish commentators, and lays Undertaker's leg across it. Mankind then climbs on the ring apron and leaps off, dropping an elbow across the outstretched leg. He then drags Undertaker back into the ring. Mankind grabs a leg, preparing to do some more damage, but Undertaker kicks him, driving him through the ropes and down to the floor. Undertaker limps over to the ropes and Mankind pulls his legs out from under him, dropping him to the mat. Undertaker kicks out and Mankind goes flying back against the railing. Mankind then stumbles over the ring steps to the floor. Undertaker limps over, picks him up, and slams him on the Spanish commentator's tables. This time, amazingly enough, it doesn't break. Back from a commercial break and Mankind has continued to work on the knee. Mankind climbs the ropes and tries a double axehandle, but Undertaker catches him in a chokeslam. However Mankind escapes it by dropping to the mat and taking the Undertaker's feet out from under him. "A drop toe hold!" Exclaims Jim Ross. "Mankind's a lot smarter than we think. He may be the toughest man ever to compete in the World Wrestling Federation!" Mnkind goes to the floor and retrieves a chair. Curious enough, Paul Bearer goes to the trouble of distracting the referee, which was pointless since this match was no disqualification (it is "No Holds Barred" after all.) Mankind charges with the chair but Undertaker puts up a boot, driving the chair into Mankind's face. Mankind charges again and this time Undertaker punches the padded seat, again driving the chairback into Mankind's face. Undertaker scoops up Mankind for the Tombstone, but Mankind slips through it and applies the Mandible Claw. The hold seems to have less effect though, due to the earlier damage to Mankind's hand. Undertaker escapes, scoops Mankind up again and delivers the Tombstone Piledriver and a pin. The portly, sluggish Executioner puts in another appearance and he applies the Asiatic Spike, which in the old days was called a thumb to the throat and was considered highly illegal. The Undertaker is on the verge of passing out as the show fades to black. - Next week's main event: Billy Gunn vs. Bart Gunn? (I'm not sure if this is on next week's RAW or the In Your House card.) In any case, the show will be live. Comments: A terribly dull show this week. I had hoped like Hell that I could have given RAW the win this week, but a show like this isn't going to get the job done. The WWF put all their eggs into the "No Holds Barred" match being the capper to this set of tapings, but it simply did not pay off. Both guys looked really tired all the way through, and the whole idea of the match was hampered by the fact that a chair, the ring steps, and the railing were the only foreign objects with which to work with. Busting the Spanish commentator's table has been overdone, so their not breaking it again was probably a good idea. There was some good flow to the story the match told, and having the Mandible Claw not work was a good touch, but everything else has been seen before. I guess this is about as extreme as they could get on free TV, so what does that say about the WWF the notion that the only way you'd be impressed by this match is if you hadn't ordered any pay-per-views this year? This simply did not work as the final match of this feud. It was very anti-climactic compared to their previous meetings. WCW Monday Nitro: Live. HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko. - In a shameless attempt to clobber RAW tonight, Nitro kicks off the show by having "Rowdy" Roddy Piper come out right off the bat. Piper gets in the ring and delivers a speech over the mic. First off, he says he has six kids, so he's "gotta win this one!" He then reminds the crowd of his past in Charlotte (the site of tonight's show.) He says the most embarrasing moment of his career is when he boxed Mr. T. He says someone, not the obvious person we're thinking he says, asked him to take a dive. Piper refused, so they made him wear extra padded gloves "so I wouldn't hurt the actor!" He'll never do that again he says. On the subject of the NWO (and prompted by a fan holding an "NWO country" sign) Piper says he has nothing against the NWO. He says he saw an NWO promo, "... six guys in a room... in black leather... drinking Dom Perignon-no women!" He says to the fan to keep holding that sign up because "we know where the NWO is coming from!" He finishes up with the obligatory challenge to Hogan to come out to get it on right there, right then. Hogan doesn't appear. - MIKE ENOS vs. M. WALLSTREET Just barely a match. Ted DiBiase comes out holding a piece of paper, presumed to be an NWO contract. Enos points to himself as if to ask "is that for me?" Wallstreet grabs him from behind and nails him with the Wallstreet Crash. DiBiase then hands the contract to his former partner, who willingly accepts. - They play a tape that first aired this past Saturday. Woman and Chris Benoit off somewhere getting sloshed on wine in a fancy restaurant. Woman reiterates that she and Kevin Sullivan are finished, and that it's the 90's, not the 50's, and she can do what she wants. She then, for no apparent reason, mentions that she's not NWO (which makes all the more likely that she is.) Benoit basically says Sullivan screwed up. They then show how Sullivan and Jimmy Hart were speechless when confronted with this on Saturday. - HUGH MORRUS vs. RENEGADE (w/ "Desperado" Joe Gomez) Morrus wins easily with a Moonsault. - Kevin Sullivan comes out absolutely furious at Tony Schiavone. It seems that tape of Woman was supposed to be delivered to him, but WCW went ahead and played it instead of giving it to him. "It's all about ratings!" Says Sullivan. He warns that next time they better give any tapes meant for him, to him. - Recap of Sting's actions of late. In one of those odd bits of irony, they play that song "I Need a Hero." Now days Sting's makeup looks like that of "The Crow." Brandon Lee, the first actor to play "The Crow," was killed by a gun supposedly loaded with blanks during the filming of that movie. The song "I Need a Hero" (or whatever it's proper title is) was featured in that TV show where the lead actor, John Eric Hexum, was killed by a gun supposedly loaded with blamks. Weird huh? - Kevin Greene comes out. Kevin is on the Carolina Panthers, who have clinched a spot in the NFL playoffs, and beat the San Francisco 49'ers on Sunday. Greene says the NWO is "crap," and that he still plans on beating up Steve McMichael. He'd also like to shove his fist down Hulk Hogan's throat. Kevin may have an aggression problem. - DEAN MALENKO vs. JIMMY GRAFFITI They're finally spelling Jimmy's name right. Sonny Onoo comes to ringside to annoy Malenko by snapping pictures. Graffiti wrestles well, but this match was still fairly dull. Malenko wins by escaping a vertical suplex, rolling Graffiti into a small package. - Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Sonny Onoo. Onoo loses his Japanese accent, which Okerlund points out. Onoo says he pretends to be Japanese because this will get him things in America: free food, free housing, even free money. "What a country!" He pulls out a tiny US flag to wave as Mean Gene wraps up. - Clips are shown of the Triangle Match between the Nasty Boys, Faces of Fear and Outsiders from World War 3. Among the clips is the spot where both Hall and Nash are tagged in and Nash lays down on the mat, inviting Hall to pin him and thus win the match and retain their tag titles. All four other wrestlers jumped in to break up the pin attempt. - NASTY BOYS vs. FACES OF FEAR (w/ Jimmy Hart) The Outsiders put in an appearance in the entryway to watch the match. Early on Meng absolutely mauls Jerry Saggs as the Barbarian holds Saggs' arms. Nobbs then takes over on the Barbarian, hitting a clothesline off the turnbuckles, then a splash. The Barbarian recovers and hold onto Nobbs as Jimmy Hart climbs the corner post with his megaphone. Off comes Hart, but Nobbs escapes and the Barbarian gets nailed instead. Nobbs then grabs Hart and tosses him over the top rope and out of the ring into the waiting arms of Meng. The Barbarian meanwhile has retrieved the megaphone and lays out Nobbs, then covers for the pin. Nothing new here. - Ric Flair comes out for an interview with Mean Gene. He gives a bow to Kevin Greene ("I may not like you, but you are THE Man!") He then calls out Piper. (Coincidentally enough, this occurs the exact same time as RAW is just winding down.) Piper comes out. Flair says that Piper came to Carolina back in 1980, and women started calling him "Hot Rod!" Flair says Hogan "... sucks! He sucks he sucks he sucks!" Flair says his greatest regret is that when Hogan came to WCW, he tried to beat him but "I dropped the ball!" Flair then does this embarrasing little jig, and says "... a lot of wrestlers get old, but only you and I get great!" Piper says he wants to beat Hogan on his own. HOUR TWO: Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mike Tenay. - CHRIS JERICHO vs. BOBBY EATON Another quick match, as Jericho gets the pin following a dropkick off the top rope. - Recap of the Sting/Rick Steiner incident. The Steiners do an interview. Scott Steiner again wears that silly looking black leather outfit I mentioned last week. - They play a special video of Lex Luger, essentially an extended version of his ring music, with clips of him Torture Rack-ing The Giant, Kevin Nash, and all the really fat guys in WCW. - ARN ANDERSON (w/ Steve & Debra McMichael) vs. SGT. CRAIG PITTMAN They play comments from Kevin Sullivan, who makes some vague comments about Arn's family. Schiavone mentions the two will go at it next week. Pittman, who's once again a heel, is wearing a Marine Corps shirt which reads "The beatings will continue until morale improves." Pittman quickly slaps on the Code Red armbar. Arn reaches the ropes to break the hold. Both men slip outside the ring. As Debra McMichael distracts the ref, Mongo nails Pittman with the silver briefcase. Rolled back into the ring, Pittman is easy prey to an Anderson DDT. Arn gets the pin. Post match Mean Gene interviews the trio. Arn says Benoit is in Germany, but wonders where Woman is? (I dunno Arn... in Germany?) "If love is in the air, it stinks!" Debra (who inexplicably enough is wearing a tiara and a "Mrs. Illinois" banner) calls Woman a "tramp." She says she saw the same thing back when she was on the beauty pageant circuit. She tells Arn that it's not his fault, then turns around and says she tried to warn Arn but he wouldn't listen. Mongo pleads with Arn to not get involved in this "soap opera" and stay focused on the Horsemen. Arn says "Benoit... come home. Woman... I've got a bone to pick with you!" - Lee Marshall phones in a report from the site of next week's Nitro, Pensacola, FL. - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. JEFF JARRETT An okay match which should have been great. End comes when Page misses a charge and goes over the top rope to the floor. The Outsiders, Hall and Nash, come to the ring. Nash distracts the referee. Jarrett is standing on the turnbuckles. Hall slips up from behind and puts him in the Razor's Edge (crucifix powerbomb) and slams him to the mat. The Outsiders leave as Page crawls back into the ring and covers for the pin. Mean Gene comes in and says things look a bit fishy, but Page denies any NWO ties and demands that they leave him be, he's not interested in joining. This was another match in the U.S. Title Tournament, and Page advances to face the winner of an upcoming Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero match. - RICK STEINER (w/ Scott Steiner) vs. SCOTT "FLASH" NORTON No match, as Piper comes out yet again, grabs a chair, and challenges Hogan over the mic to come out. Eric Bischoff comes to the ring, wading through a gauntlet of flying trash. Bischoff is totally doused by a thrown drink. Piper says that Bischoff "ain't gonna cut it! Send Hogan out now!" He picks up a bit of trash (which continues to fill the air and ring) and tosses it at Bischoff. "I believe this is meant for you." Piper wants Hogan and hands his mic over to Bischoff. "Relax," Bischoff says, "I truly am your best friend. I'm here to protect you! Now I've seen your movies-and they're very good... but you're no Hulk Hogan!" Bischoff says the NWO have left the building, and that Piper will have to wait for Starrcade on the 29th. He finishes by calling Piper a "gimp," then limps with his hand on his hip toward the ropes and freedom. Piper walks up behind the clueless Bischoff and rabbit punches him in the back of the head. Bischoff drops to the mat. Piper drags him to the middle of the ring, steps on his neck and prepares to nail him with the chair. Hall, Nash and Ted DiBiase surround the ring. The crowd is going nuts as the debris continues to fly. Kevin Greene comes to the ring. He and Piper size each other up, then stand back to back. Bobby Heenan is going nuts on the mic. The crowd is at a frenzy level and, in the grand tradition of the Universal Wrestling Federation, Kevin Nash storms the ring as the show fades to black. - Next week's main event: Kevin Sullivan vs. Arn Anderson. Comments: Lackluster show up until what was the hottest ending in recent memory. I could imagine Jim Ross yelling "Piper is standing tall... he's all man! Things are busting loose... we're out of time fans... see you next week!" Bottom line: One thing to come out of this week's RAW was the WWF's heavy emphasis on Bret Hart's regaining the belt. It's similar to the buildup that they gave Shawn on his way to the title, but I don't think it's had enough time to develope yet, which still leads me to believe that Sid will retain (probably due to interference from Steve Austin.) This sets up Shawn to win the title back in San Antonio at the Royal Rumble and Bret winning the Rumble to earn the title shot at WrestleMania. This, to me, is the scenario that works the best. Otherwise you've got Bret winning at IYH, then Shawn vs. Bret at the Rumble. That would probably mean Steve Austin winning the Rumble and getting the shot at WrestleMania. That match would be hyped as the culmination of the feud between Austin and Hart, but where does that leave Shawn? It would mean him losing at the Rumble, and Hart probably winning a title match at the February In Your House. He'd have just beaten Shawn, and has Austin coming up at WrestleMania, so who would that leave... Sid? Cage match maybe? If Shawn wins the title from Sid at the Rumble, then he could defend the belt against Austin at the next IYH, then the big showdown with Bret at WM XIII, where Bret would mnost likely finally regain the belt. I just can't see the Shawn/Bret rematch not being the WrestleMania main event. The only other possible match would have to be Hart/Austin. They also can't go into WrestleMania with Bret as the champ and have a Shawn match because that would mean Shawn would have to lose at the Rumble vs. Bret, then either get into the Rumble itself and win for the third year in a row, or beat the eventual winner of the Rumble (most likely Austin, but don't rule out Sid, or even Vader) at the February IYH to earn the WrestleMania title shot. (This is all assuming the WWF holds true to tradition and awards the winner of the Rumble the title shot at WrestleMania, as they've done the last several years.) If Bret does win the belt from Sid this Sunday, I just cannot see him dropping the belt a mere month later to Shawn at the Rumble. Since they really couldn't set Shawn up for a rematch for WrestleMania (as explained above,) then the main event for WrestleMania would have to be Bret vs. Austin or Sid, whomever wins the Rumble. (Again, don't rule out Vader, or Goldust, or even Mankind for that matter.) This would allow them to build to a rematch with Shawn at SummerSlam, with Shawn perhaps winning the King of the Ring (the one accolade he has yet to achieve in the WWF.) This would give us the following chain of events: * Bret wins the title from Sid at IYH. * Bret defeats Shawn at the Royal Rumble. Steve Austin wins Rumble. The British Bulldog, distracted by his feud with Steve Austin, and Owen Hart lose the tag team titles to Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon. * Bret defeats Sid (cage match?) at IYH. Austin defeats Bulldog. * Bret defeats Austin at WrestleMania. Shawn defeats Sid. * Bret wrestles Goldust, Vader or Mankind at IYH. Bulldog defeats Austin. Shawn wrestles Goldust, Vader or Mankind (whoever Bret doesn't fight.) * Shawn wins King of the Ring. Bret beats Austin again. * Shawn beats Bret for title at SummerSlam. Okay, so a lot of that is speculative. That's still not my real prediction though-this is: * Sid defeats Bret at IYH due to interference from Austin. * Shawn beats Sid for title at Royal Rumble. Bret wins Rumble. The British Bulldog, distracted by his feud with Steve Austin, and Owen Hart lose the tag team titles to Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon. * Shawn beats Sid in rematch (I still feel a cage match coming) or Goldust, Vader, or Mankind (these guys being the other top heels.) Or perhaps loses via DQ to Austin. Bret wins by DQ over Austin, or defeats Mankind, Vader or Goldust. If Bret doesn't wrestle on this card, look for Austin to beat the British Bulldog. * Bret beats Shawn for title at WrestleMania. Austin cripples Owen Hart. Owen and Bulldog do full face turns. Now I know that last is a bit hard to swallow, but hey-that's what my crystal ball is showing me. This sets up another match between Bret and Austin at either King of the Ring, or perhaps even SummerSlam. Bret could even drop the title to Austin briefly, then regain it at a following PPV. Shawn would have to get involved in some kind of feud, distracting him until around SummerSlam or Survivor Series, when he would reenter the title picture. This is all assuming 1) Bret is destined to regain the title, 2) Austin gets pushed as the top heel, and 3) none of the above guys leave the WWF, get seriously injured, or someone else major enters the WWF. It also doesn't take into account the Undertaker, who could very easily be inserted into the title picture, seeing as he's at the same level as all the names mentioned above. Especially if he turned heel. We also can't discount the possibility that Vince is so impressed with Sid as of late that Sid manages to hold onto the belt until WrestleMania. Sid would win over both Bret at IYH and Shawn at the Rumble. Bret would then win the Rumble and eventually beat Sid at WrestleMania. This would mean however, that Vince would be booking Sid ahead of both Shawn and Austin (not to mention everyone else in the WWF) for the next four months or so. Shawn and Austin would have to wait until the IYH after WrestleMania before they become the top contenders again. Possible, but not probable. Whatever of these scenarios comes to pass, we should get some pretty damn good matches out of it (so long as Sid's involvement is kept to a minimum.) Don't you wish WCW had half this intrigue? Piper will get his shot against Hogan. If he doesn't win the belt, then Luger, Sting and Flair are the next logical contenders. Whichever does eventually beat him, that will most likely be the catalyst for his being dumped from the NWO, and his eventual face turn. WCW's thinking (and booking) is too linear to set up a scenario with multiple contenders. They'll all get their shots like ducks in a row, and we're most likely to see whatever's coming a mile away. Whatever their plan is with Sting, we'll get a month's advance on it as they hype it for the next PPV. Same with Luger. If either of those two are meant to be the savior of WCW, we'll see it coming after Starrcade. Piper may beat Hogan, but don't look to him to be more than a peripheral player in 1997 (Piper can't wrestle a full time schedule. Of course, neither does Hogan.) The NWO's days are numbered, it's just a question of how much fun do they want to have with it before then. The only mystery left is whether WCW destroys the NWO, or if Hogan himself does it, returning to face status. As I said above, whichever happens, we'll see it coming. This week's winner: Nitro.