[RESULTS/OPINION] WCW Monday Nitro/WWF Monday Night RAW (11/11) (NOTE: With RAW moving to the new earlier time slot, I'll be going back to the old format of reviewing RAW first.) WWF Monday Night RAW: Taped 10/17. Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - OWEN HART/THE BRITISH BULLDOG (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. SHAWN MICHAELS/SID Things kick off with clips of Shan and Sid's troubles over the past few weeks. Then we get comments from Steve Austin regarding Bret Hart's presence in the building (Austin neglects to say "ass" for the first time in recent memory.) A long and surprisingly dull match. Shawn does little except play the part of a rag doll, tossed around with ease by the impressive Bulldog and Hart. Sid (whom I'd give credit to lately for improving his workrate) no-sells most of what comes his way. Sid eventually chokeslams the Bulldog, then sets up for a powerbomb. The Bulldog reverses it, back bodydropping Sid. Sid gets up, hesitates, then moves in on the Bulldog, only to be met by a Michaels Superkick which the Bulldog had fortuitously ducked. Down goes Sid out stiff (remember when this used to happen to Diesel everytime he'd hold Razor Ramon, then it happened to Sid at last year's Survivor Series?) Bulldog covers Sid for the pin. Shawn then gets knocked out by a kick to the back of the head from Hart. Both Shawn and Sid are laid out cold as they go to break. Match lasted nearly the entire first third of the show. - Recap of what just went down, then a shot of several referees scurrying about in the lockerroom area. Next we get a rundown of the upcoming Survivor Series card: * Shawn Michaels vs. Sid. * The Undertaker vs. Mankind w/ Paul Bearer suspended in a cage. * Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart. * Mr. Perfect, Hunter Hearst Helmsly, Goldust & Jerry Lawler vs. Marc Mero, Barry "The Stalker" Windham, Mark Henry & Rocky Maivia (ahh... however that's spelled!) * Faarooq, Vader, Diesel & Razor vs. Savio Vega, Yokozuna, "Flash" Funk (2 Cold Scorpio) & a mystery partner. * The Godwins, Doug Furnas & someone who's name sounds like Bill Lefont (what happened to Dan Kroffat?) vs. British Bulldog, Owen Hart, & The New Rockers. - MANKIND (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. FREDDIE JOE FLOYD Mankind squashes Floyd, finishing him off with the Mandible Claw. Then the lights go out and the small cage lowers to the floor with the Paul Bearer dummy in it. The Executioner looks on as Bearer goes nuts. This may have been more effective if they hadn't shown us a similar incident on last week's RAW. - Clips of Killer Kowalski and the Valiant Brothers when they terrorized the WWWF. - Kevin Kelly has a chat with Rocky Howeveryouspellhislastname. Clips of his granddad Peter Howeveryouspellhisname and his dad Rocky Johnson are shown as well. - Sid's in the back and he's pissed, accusing Michaels of kicking him on purpose. We then see Sable defeating Dok Hendrix in this week's Karate Fighter nonsense, as well as more non-ass comments from Steve Austin. - Clips of Shawn Michaels' powderpuff interview on "Live with Regis & Kathy Lee." Kevin Kelly then interviews a feisty Shawn, who says all of his critics (Sid, Bret Hart) have at one time or another had his foot on their chin. - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. BOB "WILL JOB FOR FOOD" HOLLY Holly is the working man's ham 'n egger, and the most skilled prelim bum in the entire fed. Austin does nothing flashy, as is his style. Bret Hart watches via monitor from the back, and Jim Ross sits in for color. Ross says he's had a lengthy conversation with Stu Hart recently and that Stu admired Austin's skill. Lawler makes a crack and Ross reminds him that Hart was responsible for Lawler's sucking on his own feet. Lawler threatens to retract his support of Ross' doings. Ross also announces that next week's main event will be Austin vs. Vader. Back from a break and Ross points out to McMahon that Austin has just used a Lou Thesz Press. McMahon responds by identifying the next maneuver as a clothesline. Ross then identifies the next move by Holly as a huracarana (Frankensteiner.) "Easy for you to say." Says McMahon. "... or 'whatta- maneuver!'" Continues Ross. Austin meanwhile whips Holly into the corner then follows, only to connect shoulder first with the post. Holly goes up top to land some kind of move on the prone Austin, by Steve connects with a stiff legged boot to Holly's chin. Austin follows up quickly thereafter with the Stone Cold Stunner for the win. Austin then heads off to the back to confront Bret Hart. Austin reaches Hart's door, pauses, then says his going in is what we'd LIKE to see, and that we'd all just have to wait and pay for the PPV to see it. - Next week's main event: Steve Austin vs. Vader. Comments: A pretty flat installment of RAW. Looks like the WWF has taken some serious heat over last week's show, especially from the USA network. This was nearly as tepid as RAW gets, with Austin's saying "crap" in a taped PPV ad being the most controversial thing about the whole show. Now don't get me wrong, they don't need to be like last week's show every week to hold my interest. I may like the more hardcore nature of the sport, but I can be just as amused and entertained by the lighter fare. But when you add the serious pullback from the edge of extreme like they did this week, mixed with the fact that this was a pretty ragged taped show - the last of the taped batch, and you get an hour that is pretty tough to watch. It didn't help that Nitro was live and loaded the first hour of their show. WCW Monday Nitro: Live. HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko. - Tony and Larry kick off the show musing over the whereabouts of Sting as we see a fan at ringside being hustled away by security. He seems to be waving a package of some kind. They then show clips of the Jeff Jarrett/ Chris Benoit/Mongo McMichael interview from last week. - JEFF JARRETT vs. CHRIS BENOIT (w/ Woman) Comments from Kevin Sullivan are shown. The match itself never really got going, though it did show flashes of promise. Benoit, in a fit of anger over Jarrett's ability, pummels him with a flurry of punches. Jarret comes back following a whip to the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker. Benoit answers later by hanging Jarrett over the top rope. Jarrett then suplexes Benoit to the floor. Before the match can continue, Sting enters the ring, grabs Jarrett from behind, and nails a reverse DDT. Sting leaves as Jarrett is declared the winner by DQ. Woman then tells Benoit to help Jarrett up because he's WCW. Benoit says he doesn't care about Jarrett, then pulls him up by the hair in preparation of continuing the brawl, but the ref steps in to break things up. - Back from the break and we see the fans yet again, this time handing Tony Sciavone the package as he's hustled away. Tony opens it and pulls out a letter which he reads aloud. The letter says, in essence, that the package contains a videotape that proves "Rowdy" Roddy Piper wants a piece of Hulk Hogan. Too bad we'll never see it, as WCW would never play a tape handed to them in this fashion. Would they? Tony identifies the fan (by way of the letter) as Ken McDade. Tony later makes a weak plea to the fans not to try something like this in the future (unless it furthers an angle?) - Comments from Ric Flair's doctor regarding his injury. It's a torn rotator cuff, and it will take Flair four months to receuperate. - MALYA HOSAKA vs. ZERO (w/ Sonny Onoo) Tony identifies Zero as once being known as Chagusa Nagayo. Zero carries the Gaea Championship belt. I thought this match was supposed to take place over the weekend? Anyway, Zero squashes Hosaka. Her finisher is a crucifix powerbomb (Razor's Edge.) - Mean Gene Okerlund (yes, he's back) interviews Diamkond Dallas Page. Mean Gene questions Page's ties to the New World Order. Page admits that he used to manage Scott Hall (as the Diamond Studd) and tag team with Kevin Nash (as Vinnie Vegas.) Hall and Nash arrive to offer Page a spot in their ranks. Page is irked by the fact that he wasn't the first second, or even third guy they contacted, but would in fact be the 8th. Nash blames it on politics, and the fact that Eric Bischoff is Page's best friend and lives two houses away from him (which from what I understand isn't too much of an exaggeration, if any.) Page doesn't like the assertion that he hasn't earned what he's recieved. Nash says if he doesn't get it, he never will, and the offer to join the NWO is presumably withdrawn. - A WCW Merchandise commercial is shown featuring the Public Enemy. In the funniest moment of the night, they offer for sale a Sting t-shirt. Johnny Grunge points to the scorpion on the shoulder and says "it even has a lobster on it!" - REY MISTERIO JR. vs. CICLOPE Ciclope is the goofiest looking mexican cruiserweight yet, looking like something out of a Steve Ditko nightmare (which was fitting, because Misterio was dressed like Spider-Man.) Ciclope is a bit on the heavy side with a mask with dark plastic eyeslots and one large eye in the center of the forehead, as well as several foam horns. Watching the match at ringside is Ultimo Dragon, who along with manager Sonny Onoo, holds his eight Japanese title belts. Dean Malenko comes out to watch the match, as well as Psychosis. Highlights include a tope through the ropes to the floor (by Rey.) Rey then throws him back into the ring, calls out "Frankensteiner" really loud, springboards off the ropes, and is met in midair by a clothesline from Ciclope. Later Misterio performs a forward head scissors type roll from the top turnbuckle to the floor (Ciclope is seated on the turnbuckle, his head is grasped between Misterio's ankles, and is flipped over and down to the floor. Nasty.) Misterio then finishes him off with his patented huracarana into a tuck for the pin. Malenko turns to leave and spots Psychosis. The two stare down until Psychosis leaves first. Oooohhh... some heat in the cruiserweight ranks! - Tony mention the nWO vandalism to the WCW web site. Hall, Nash and Syxx return to ringside accompanied by an entourage of sign bearers. Syxx carries with him a cable Ace Award identified as belonging to Brad Segal, a TNT executive. Hall says the NWO is going to crash the Cable Ace Awards, and that they will take away Ted Turner's award (assuming he wins one) if he fails to nominate them for one. Both Hall and Nash rag on Larry Zbyszko, nearly bringing the retired legend to blows. They wrap up by saying in a few weeks they will be taking posession of Nitro, and that Tony and Larry better get ready for the soup line. HOUR TWO: Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mike Tenay. - LEX LUGER vs. SCOTT "FLASH" NORTON Hour two is upon us, which means the quality goes waaaay down. This match is pretty much evidence of that. Norton pounds away until Luger decides he's had enough and Torture Racks him for the win. Comments from Arn Anderson are shown, as well as a shot of Sting up in the cheap seats. - Replay of Sting's earlier attack on Jarrett. Mean Gene then interviews Luger, who says all of WCW and the fans want him back. - Lee Marshall phones in a report from Florence, South Cacalackie. - THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS (w/ Col. Robert Parker) vs. HARLEM HEAT (w/ Sister Sherri) They start off by showing clips of the breakup between Parker and Sherri which took place over the weekend on WCW Saturday Night. It's hard to tell if this match was any good because they cut away to show the Nasty Boys trying to get into the building. Not scheduled to wrestle, their names aren't on the list of those allowed in the building (makes you wonder how the NWO gets in, and why they didn't just buy a ticket?) They show us this split screen with the match, which makes it so small that it's hard to tell what's going on in the ring. The Nasties ask for Doug Dellinger, and he shows up and tells them they can't get in. The pair stalk off into the parking lot and redezvous with a mysterious figure which the announcers recognize, but don't mention by name. I'm not sure, but it looked like Brutus Beefcake to me. Back to the ring, where both teams have apparently been counted out and Sherri has slugged Col. Parker. - KONAN vs. CHRIS JERICHO A match which showed a little promise, but never really went anywhere (much like most of tonight's show, and Nitro in general.) They talk about Jericho's dad, Ted Irvin (Irvine? Irving?) They show his hockey rookie card. Only highlights were Jericho missing a plancha dive to the floor, and Konan nailing a nice powerbomb back in the ring. Match ends when Konan whips Jericho into referee Nick Patrick. Jericho barely bumps him. Konan then dropkicks Jericho and he again just barely brushes against Patrick, but that is enough for him to call for the bell. Konan wins by DQ. Lame-o! - MIGUEL PEREZ vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA Perez is hairier than a bearskin rug. Among the moves he uses are a Russian legsweep and a senton off the top. They go to the floor and Guerrera sets Perez in the corner where the two rails meet and climbs up to attempt a huracarana, but Perez grabs him ans slams him into a bone shattering powebomb onto the floor (with a sickenly loud thud. Cool!) Back into the ring and Perez catches Guerrera around the midsection with his legs and rolls him up for the upset pin in this, his Nitro debut. - Ted DiBiase is up in the stands with a mic and he offers Sting an NWO t-shirt (which Vincent displays for the crowd.) Sting doesn't show. - FACES OF FEAR (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. AMERICAN MALES The Fear dominates almost the entire match. Marcus Bagwell recieves most of the punishment, them makes the hot tag to Scotty Riggs. Bagwell rolls to the floor and trips the Barbarian as he comes off the ropes. Before Riggs can capitalize, Meng lands a Superkick and Riggs goes out like a light, with the Barbarian covering for the pin. Bagwell is all upset as their inevitable breakup continues. Jimmy Hart then gets on the mic and complains about the Nasty Boys getting the tag title shot at World War 3 instead of the Faces of Fear, who are the number one contenders. - Bischoff announces that they've reviewed the tape the fan gave them and thay are going to play it. It contains a music video which "was a hit in Europe" in 1992. On it Piper sings (yes, sings) a song called "I'm Your Man." It features Piper looking in great shape (prior to his hip replacement) working out in a gym, singing in a studio, and cavorting on a beach with a lovely lass he's trying to woo. Intercut frequently are shots of the marquee at the Hollywood Bowl which advertise the ultimate showdown, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan. It's a fairly sappy song (sounding a little like a 60's love song) and Piper has no great voice, but he does have charisma and does a pretty good job in what is actually a catchy little video. (TOO catchy, as that damned tune is still floating around in my head.) Bishoff takes this as evidence that Piper has been dreaming of a showdown with Hogan as far back as 1992. Out comes the NWO, and Hogan kills the last 5 minutes by wiggling his ass around for the third week in a row. Yeesh! Very interesting though, was Miss Elizabeth dressed in a Christmas outfit. Ho ho ho! - Next week's main event: None announced. Comments: I'm giving this one the nod this week, but only just barely. Next to nothing happened. The Jarrett/Benoit match was good while it lasted, but the Sting attack was pointless, except to draw viewers away from RAW. The cruiserweights put in pretty good efforts this week. The Piper video was okay, but wasn't really worth the nearly two hour wait. Bottom line: I'm still not sold on the Survivor Series. The main event has little promise, we've seen Undertaker/Mankind already, and the tag matches are all throwaways as far as I'm concerned. That leaves only Austin/Hart and I'm just not convinced that their first meeting will be that much of a classic. Good yes, but not great. I've no idea who the "mystery partner" will be, but I doubt it's Randy Savage. It could be Ahmed Johnson, in what I would guess would be am ill advised early return. Vince sure offered much mea culpa over the weekend, and this week's RAW sure reflected that. Overall, a slightly off night in the Monday Night Wars. I'm actually slightly interested in World War 3. The undercard is shaping up to be decent, and I actually enjoyed last year's 60 man battle royale (for it's sheer chaos if nothing else.) This week's winner: Nitro. JRP