[RESULTS/OPINION] WCW Monday Nitro/WWF Monday Night RAW (9/30)


WCW Monday Nitro: Live.

HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.

 - Another look at the NWO NASCAR entry. Then Eric Bischoff kicks off the
   show by indulging himself in a long speech about the errors he's made,
   such as bringing in Hulk Hogan. He wraps up by telling the NWO that
   they're no longer amusing, and that WCW would no longer tolerate them.
   Or something like that. I guess WCW had gotten enough letters from angry
   people, so the plan now is to appease then by going back to showing slow,
   boring matches on Nitro. Yay!

 - JUVENTUD GUERRERA/EL TECHNICO vs. THE PUBLIC ENEMY
   Either I'm seeing things, or El Technico looks a lot like Billy Kidman
   in a Ding Dongs outfit. The P.E. quickly squash them, then put Technico
   (which is Spanish for "technical wrestler" - i.e. fan favorite - and no
   I didn't need Tony Schiavone to explain that for me) through a table.

 - Mike Tenay interviews Mongo McMichael, Debra and Chris Benoit. Not to
   knock Benoit, but you know things are bad when HIS interview is the best
   of the three.

 - "The following announcement... has been paid for by the New World Order."
   "Not any moooore! Ha ha ha!" Adds the whiny voice of Hulk Hogan. I'm now
   haunted by that phrase. It pops into my head at odd moments, distracting
   me when I speak to others. My life has been ruined by this disembodied
   voice which flutters across the veranda of my consciousness.

   Anyway, the upshot of this week's installment is that the NWO are
   watching the show from the safe confines of the Marriot Hotel. Hogan, his
   son Nicholas ("Nick at Nite,") NWO Sting, Ted DiBiase, Hall, Nash, Six
   and the Giant all sit around and talk at the same time. We will be
   treated to this several more times as the evening progresses.

 - DEAN MALENKO vs. ALEX WRIGHT
   Lets see... Malenko has a big match coming up vs. Rey Misterio at the
   next PPV, so it would stand to reason that he would win this match,
   right? Malenko comes to the ring carrying Misterio's mask, which he had
   stolen over the weekend on WCW Saturday Night. He and Wright then proceed
   to put on a clinic displaying the proper methods of men hugging each
   other, slapping on wristlocks, stuff like that. Malenko then winds
   things up by missing a crossbody block off the top and falling victim to
   a small package. Wright wins. I no longer care what happens to Dean
   Malenko in WCW. WCW has ruined this division by refusing to establish a
   any sense of structure. The "any one of them can beat any other one of
   them on any given night" philosophy has destroyed any and all sense of
   drama the division could have hoped to possibly have. It's all about five
   minute matches with a few high spots, and those guys that don't have good
   money contracts often being used as jobbers for the heavyweights. That
   and getting little kids to say "Mommy, he looks like the Green Ranger!"
   That's what the Cruiserweight division is all about.

 - Clips of Randy Savage beating up on Big Bubba, throwing referee Mark
   Curtis out of the ring, and hitting referee Nick Patrick - all while
   Miss Elizabeth looked on. This was taken from WCW Saturday Night.

 - Mike Tenay stands at ringside to do an interview with Randy Savage, but
   Savage never shows.

 - Next was a very, very, VERY long ad for the Slim Jim(tm) Halloween Havoc.
   Some folks tuning in late may have thought it was an infomercial. Ric
   Flair puts in an appearance, styling and profiling with a few ladies.
   Shame on you Ric... you're old enough to be their grandpa! Oh yeah, Slim
   Jim has a racing car too, with the Halloween Havoc logo. This makes two
   WCW related cars. I don't care, but I thought you all might.

 - EDDIE GUERRERO vs. JIM POWERS (w/ Teddy Long)
   Since I know you're all dying to hear the outcome of this, I'll jump
   ahead to the finish: Guerrero German Suplexes Powers. Both men have their
   shoulders down. Powers raises his prior to the 3 count. Referee Nick
   Patrick calls for the bell and awards the match to Guerrero. He then gets
   into an argument with Teddy Long, perhaps teasing the fact that Long may
   once again become a referee. Don't do it Teddy... you're too fat.

   I don't sound bitter, do I? After all, this was on free TV.

 - NWO time again. ("... not any moooore!" Ha ha ha!" *shudder!*) Now the
   Nasty Boys have joined the party. For some reason Scott Hall calls them
   rednecks. Again they all talk at the same time until Jerry Saggs jumps
   up on a table and does his "Bischoff" imitation, talking out of his rear
   orifice a la Jim Carrey. Everyone else looks at the camera as if the
   whole bunch realizes they might be fired for this stunt.

 - Mike Tenay talks to Arn Anderson, Woman, and Miss Elizabeth. Arn delivers
   an ultimatum and demands that Liz forget about the Macho Man and
   concentrate on the Horsemen. I think I once criticized WCW for not
   exploiting the Savage/Elizabeth relationship further. I wish I hadn't,
   because I may now get what I asked for.

HOUR TWO: Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Mike Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

 - HUGH MORRUS vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG
   Morrus wins following two Moonsaults. That's all you get.
 
 - Another look at Arn, Woman and Liz, repeating what they'd said earlier,
   though this time without the benefit of Mike Tenay's fishbowl stare.

 - Eric Bischoff leaves the broadcast position, intent on finding out where
   the NWO are staying. My guess is he had to go make preparations for the
   show's running over of their usual alloted time. We don't see him again.
   He never finds the NWO, even though Elizabeth leaves after him (during
   the next match) and manages to find them by the end of the show.

 - CHRIS JERICHO vs. ARN ANDERSON (w/ Woman)
   Hey, an actual, somewhat decent match. Jericho really has the fans behind
   him. He pulls off this great maneuver where he leans against some girls
   at ringside and they hug him. A good mix of Jericho relying on spped and
   high risk moves, while Arn wears him down with the basics. Jericho looks
   to have Arn ripe for the upset, but misses a springboard move off the
   ropes. Arn grabs the groggy youngster and applies the DDT. Arn with the
   win.

 - M. WALLSTREET vs. LEX LUGER
   My Gawd... there's like at least a half hour left to the show! If I
   wasn't seeing Luger, I'd think all the stars were still in Japan. No
   match here as Luger racks the now "V.K."-less Wallstreet, following at
   least five minutes of armbars, wristlocks, and other assorted rest holds.

 - In a move to appease Sting (remember him?) WCW has decided to repaint the
   WCW racing car so that it has Sting's face on the hood. I'm told this is
   the highest honor in Georgia, next to having a speed bump named after
   you. This now makes three WCW related racing cars. Who says Ted Turner's
   got no money?

 - FACES OF FEAR vs. THE ROCK AND ROLL EXPRESS
   Fans of the R 'n R from the 80's have to be asking themselves: "Are those
   Ricky and Robert's dads?" This is like every other R 'n R match: Ricky
   Morton gets beat up for 10 minutes or so... makes the hot tag to Robert
   Gibson... Ricky comes back into the ring, suddenly refreshed... then
   something happens to Gibson so that he gets pinned. This time it's the
   Barbarian kicking him in the head. The F. o' F. stomp on the two until
   The Public Enemy can make the save. Actually the P.E. end up getting
   stomped on next. Rocco Rock is tossed out of the ring as Johnny Grunge
   gets his bad leg demolished.

 - The NWO again. Kyle Petty did indeed show up. Hogan dominates this
   segment, ordering the others around (telling Six to get the door, telling
   the others to shut up, etc.) You know, I don't think even the NWO guys
   are enjoying this anymore.

 - CHRIS BENOIT (w/ Debra) vs. RICK STEINER
   Mongo accompanies his partner and wife. I no longer have the will to 
   continue this, so lets jump ahead to the point where Mongo knocks out
   Steiner and Benoit gets the pin. There! Whatta main event. I neven knew
   that the left shoulderblade was such a sensitive part of the body, as one
   light tap there by Mongo with his silver attache case knocks Steiner out
   cold. Oh yeah, Nick Patrick was the ref and missed it all, even though
   Mongo was in the ring plain as day. Patrick also gave something of an
   interview prior to the start of the match, telling the camera that Randy
   Savage hasn't heard the last of him. Wanna bet Nick Patrick officiates
   in the Hogan/Savage match at Halloween Havoc?

   The show seems to mercifully be at an end. However there's one last NWO
   segment to get out of the way. We see that Liz has made her way to the
   Cleveland Marriot. She is holding what looks to be a contract. The
   assumption seems to be that Hogan is trying to lure her into the NWO by
   offering her a chance to get into movies. The Giant tells how he's gotten
   into a couple, even though he has no acting ability (no comment.) Liz
   leaves, her head muddled by trying to think of two things at the same
   time, just as Vince arrives with a large box for the Giant. Liz is now
   out in the hallway (and in the backround we can hear the gang talking
   about the U.S. Title, as if either the belt or Ric Flair's head were in
   the box.) Here comes Randy Savage, confronts Liz, sees the contract she's
   holding, and assumes the worst. He yells "sonnavabitch" a couple of times
   (which was edited from the replay.) The show fades out on Savage verbally
   abusing his ex-wife, which I'm sure was probably in violation of some
   restraining order or something.

 - Next week's main event: Not announced.

Comments: An abyssmal Nitro. The NWO segments were annoying from the start.
The Jericho/Anderson match was worthy of WCW Saturday Night at best. The
rest was filler. This was maybe the worst 2 hour Nitro yet.


WWF Monday Night RAW: Taped 9/23.

 - Recap of Jim Ross' speech.

 - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. JAKE "THE SNAKE" ROBERTS
   I'm not going to lie to you and say this was all that great a match: it
   wasn't. But I was impressed with Austin, who dismantled Roberts with
   intensity. Roberts confronts Jerry Lawler. Lawler again has a bottle of
   Jim Beam. As expected, Lawler takes a swig and spits some on Roberts.
   The high point was Jake nailing the DDT, then Austin cleanly kicking out
   of the pin attempt. After Roberts gets booze spit on him, Austin hits the
   Stone Cold Stunner for the win. A little bit of extracurricular stomping
   on Roberts is halted by the arrival of Savio Vega and his big bad leather
   strap.

 - Clip of Mankind and Paul Bearer in the cemetary. Mankind is trying to dig
   a grave for the Undertaker, but Bearer says UT will dig his own.

 - Clip of Diesel and Razor in the lockerroom.

 - Hunter Hearst Helmsly comes out and challenges Mr. Perfect to a match.

 - THE GRIMM TWINS vs. THE GODWINS (w/ Hillbilly Jim)
   Jason & Jared Grimm AKA Jacob & Eli Blu AKA Ron & Don Harris AKA whoever
   the Hell they'll be the next month, now look like two really big Andre
   Agassi's. The Godwins win via Slop Drop. Mr. Perfect is shown backstage
   and he accepts HHH's challenge.

 - Double J exposed again. This time we see footage of the real "Double J"
   rehearsing "With My Baby Tonight." It's the Roadie, also know as Jesse
   James, and he's on his way back to the WWF. No, Jim Ross is not bringing
   him, or anyone else, in to play a phony Double J.

 - RAZOR RAMON vs. SAVIO VEGA
   Gorilla Monsoon sits in at the desk, and he and Ross tangle verbally
   throughout the match. Ross makes the following points: He never promised
   Scott Hall and Kevin Nash; this guy's name, according to his contract, is
   Razor Ramon; he's a near 300 pound athelete and that's all that matters.
   Monsoon is stuck on the fact that he doesn't know who this guy really is,
   and that's it's not Razor Ramon because it's not Scott Hall. Dok Hendix
   is back at Diesel and Razor's dressing room to do an interview, but he
   can't find Diesel.

   The new Razor wrestles very much like the old Razor (take that for what
   it's worth.) Vega wins the match when the new Diesel (Big Daddy Yankem,
   Diesel.D.S.) interferes by pulling down the top rope. Razor then gives
   Vega the Razor's Edge, and Diesel gives him a Jacknife. "Mommy, why isn't
   Diesel taller than Razor any more?"

 - Now the Undertaker is in the cemetary.

 - Recap of Marc Mero's IC Title win.

 - SHAWN MICHAELS/JOSE LOTHARIO vs. VADER/JIM CORNETTE
   First they show Shawn at the MTV "Rock the Vote" shindig, then he loses
   to Vader. Ayegh... I didn't mean to give it away that quick! Jose and
   Cornette figure very little in the match. Vader dominates early on,
   allowing the announcers to comment on Shawn's gruelling title defense
   schedule. Then Shawn comes back with a few clothelines, leading to an
   elbowdrop. Shawn sets up the Superkick, but Vader ducks and forearms him.
   Vader sets up and misses a Vaderbomb. Shawn bodyslams Vader and again
   builds up to a Superkick, but this time it's broken up by Cornette and
   his tennis racquet. Shawn tries to slam Vader again, but fails. Vader
   then powerbombs Shawn.

   Cut to this week's Sony Playstation Slam of the Week: Sid chokeslams
   Marty Jannetty.

   Back from the commercial and Shawn is out in the corner. Vader goes up
   top, lands a Vaderbomb and scores the pin. He sets up for another, but
   backs off as Sycho Sid storms the ring. Sid points and squints. In comes
   Goldust to make it two on one. Things look bad for the alleged human
   being known as Sid, until Shawn recovers and Goldust and Vader bid a
   hasty exit.

 - Next week's main event: Sid vs. Goldust. Marc Mero vs. "Diesel."

Comments: Not the greatest RAW, but fairly good if one excuses the entire
middle 20 minutes or so. Ross commentated as he always does, but threw in
the occasional pot shot at McMahon. Reports of his turning heel are
premature. If anything, he's turned... disgruntled?
 

Bottom line:  Neither upcoming PPV looks all that promising. Nitro seems to
have lost it's direction. Everthing is so dominated by the NWO storyline, it
seems as if they're afraid to do anything else that's signifigant. The setup
for most of the midcard matches seemed to have come from this weekend's WCW
Saturday Night, which is the only place we even get to hear about the rest
of WCW anymore. They also insist on giving us guys and matches with which
they appear to have run out of ideas for, like the Dungeon of Doom. If they
and the Faces of Fear are so "behind" WCW, why then do they possibly cripple
one of the World Tag Team champs on the eve of their big title defense
against The Outsiders? Also it's real hard to watch those NWO segment when
everyone is talking at the same time. It's as if they give one or two of
them some lines that need to be said, and the rest are told to ad lib. It's
just too much of a mess to follow.

RAW actually wasn't all that bad for a taped show. They're doing a better
job of parcelling out the action over the taped weeks, but for all the hype
they give the next IYH, most things seems to be setting up the next live RAW
and the Survivor Series. For example, no one who wrestled tonight is even
scheduled for a match at the PPV. The PPV gets hyped by the Mankind and
Undertaker segments, and the appearance of Sid, but nothing happening in the
ring has nothing to do with In Your House. I'm not really saying this is a
bad thing, just that it's kind of odd. One also has to wonder what they're
planning with Shawn, since he's now lost to Vader, and he isn't scheduled to
wrestle at "Buried Alive." I guess what I'm trying to say is they're keeping
me interested - tuned in to RAW - but they've given me little reason to buy
the PPV.

As I've mentioned before, my Monday night Nitro/RAW viewing goes like this:
I watch and tape roughly the first half of Nitro. Then I switch over and
watch and tape RAW. Then I watch and tape the second half of Nitro. (I have
to do it this way because I'm at work during the two shows, and am on the
road home as the Nitro replay starts. Before my work schedule changed, I
used to tape both at the same time.) This means that I'm usually quite
anxious to see what happened on the second half of Nitro because I missed
most of it. This week I suffered through the first half, was somewhat amused
and entertained by RAW, then had to wait nearly two hours until Nitro picked
up where I had left off, and was shocked to see... nothing. Nothing happened
on Nitro. Well, next to nothing. I also didn't get Savage's profanity on
tape because they edited the replay. I'm still not sure whether those bits
were live or pretaped. Would they have shown the Savage profanity piece if
it was pretaped? If yes, then they would have to have shown it as is the
first time, then had the luxury to edit it on the replay. I don't think it
matters really, as the Macho Man cussin' didn't in and of itself make for
great TV.

This week's winner: RAW.


JRP