[RESULTS/OPINION] WCW Monday Nitro/WWF Monday Night RAW (9/2)

(NOTE: RAW was again preempted by the USA network's coverage of the U.S.
Open. The WWF is on this Friday with a special installment of RAW called
"Championship Friday," and will be back on again next week at it's usual
time.)


WCW Monday Nitro: Live.

HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko & Mike Tenay.

 - Tonight celebrates the start of the second year of Nitro. Clips are shown
   of last week's show.
 
 - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. ALEX WRIGHT
   An ooooookaaaaaay match... if you like Alex Wright (I don't.) Wright
   takes command early on, driving Page out of the ring and delivering a
   plancha over the ropes to the floor. Back in the ring Wright misses a
   move and Page takes over with a flurry of punches and, more punches.
   Wright gains the upper hand again, but is caught by the Diamond Cutter.
   Page wins. After the match referee Nick Patrick is grilled by Mean Gene.
   Patrick says all his woes are Okerlund's fault and calls him a liar.
   He also says that from now on he'll call all the matches strictly by the
   letter of the rule book, which is usually bad news for the good guys.
 
 - Mean Gene interviews Sister Sherri and Col. Parker. Parker is trying to
   woo Sherri back to his "stable" with gifts: A leather jacket and vest.
   Sherri mounts him and the two head off for the mall.

 - HARLEM HEAT vs. GREG "THE HAMMER" VALENTINE/BUDDY VALENTINO
   Valentine is a wily veteran, while Valentino is a really fat guy with
   white hair. The referee, new to WCW, is Mark Curtis, meaning more of the
   dust has settled from the explosion that was the end of Smoky Mountain
   Wrestling. (Well, not really an explosion.) The majority of the match
   consisted of the Heat beating the unholy crap out of Valentino. El Super
   Porky De Lucha Turner succumbs to the Harlem Hangover. The Heat then talk
   to Mean Gene, dissin' the Nasty Boys. Out comes said Nasty persons and
   they politely retort by slamming Booker T. into the railing and Stevie
   Ray into the steps. They then drag Booker T. inside the ring and spike
   piledrive him. In case you're having trouble remembering which Heat is
   which, remember this: Booker T. is the one that can actually wrestle,
   therefore "Stevie Ray - go away... Booker T.'s alright with me!"

   Early in the match Ted DiBisae shows up at a seat at ringside, setting
   the stage for Armageddon...
 
 - DEAM MALENKO vs. CHRIS JERICHO
   Mike Tenay joins the broadcast team, and was there for the rest of the
   evening, and will be a regular part of the second hour for subsequent
   Nitro's. I should also mention at this point that there seemed to be a
   large contingent of "hardcore"fans (a whole Frat house maybe) at ringside.
   They would be the most vocal group of fans for the evening. Ted DiBiase
   leaves ringside, setting the stage for a whole lot of people going "huh?"

   Jericho and Malenko lock up. Jericho looks a lot better than he did last
   week (I could get to like him, punching a hole in the theory that I'm
   biased against "pretty boys.") My guess is that his performance last week
   was hampered by the usual shoddy work of Alex Wright (damn pretty boy.)
   Malenko takes the early advantage, exploring a variety of techniques in
   an effort to pin down the most effective: Abdominal stretch and other
   mat maneuvers, light brawling in the corner, finally going aerial with an
   absolutely gorgeous bulldog from the corner ropes. (Jericho had his back
   to the corner. Malenko leapt to the second turnbuckle then bounced off,
   spinning, and caught Jericho's head and took him down for the bulldog.
   Bee-yoo-tee-ful!) Jericho responded by sending Malenko out of the ring
   and nailing a leaping springboard plancha from the top turnbuckle to the
   floor. Back into the ring and the match wound down to a series of pins
   attempts and reversals, with Jericho getting the final roll-up for the
   upset win. Jericho rolls out to the rail and is embraced by the hardcore
   fans.

   Outside, the mysterious black limousine rolls up...

 - Clips are shown of Rey Misterio Jr. and Super Calo. Calo looks like he
   probably has talent, but man... he looks really lame. Sort of a masked
   homeboy or something.

 - THE GIANT (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG
   Armstrong is all fists and fire, but loses badly to the chokeslam.
      
 - New World Order promo. This time it's "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan by himself,
   revelling in the stench of his own stinky evil.

HOUR TWO: Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan & Mike Tenay.

 - Another shot of the black limo, then even more clips of last week's
   mayhem.

 - RANDY "MACHO MAN" SAVAGE vs. RON STUDD
   Mike Tenay mentions that Ron was trained by Big John Studd and honors his
   memory by taking his name. (Does that mean the Yeti was actually raised
   by a Himalayan sasquatch? I'm sure there's a Vanilla Gorilla joke in
   there somewhere.) Tenay also mentions that Ron honed his skills at the
   New Japan training dojo - not exactly a glowing endorsement (for the
   dojo.) Savage wins handily with the flying elbowdrop. Savage then does an
   interview. When asked if he's living on the edge, he replies "anyone in
   WCW not on the edge is taking up too much room!"

   Scott Hall, Kevin Nash & Hulk Hogan are seen exiting the black limo...

 - STING/LEX LUGER vs. THE STEINER BROTHERS
   Cut to a commercial, then the Horsemen checking out the now empty black
   limo. Back to the start of the match, which lasts all of five seconds or
   so. Luger locks up with Rick Steiner. Steiner shoves Luger back. Luger
   bumps into referee Nick Patrick. Patrick calls for the bell and DQ's
   Luger. Sting and Luger yell at the ref, then chase after him as he flees.

 - THE FOUR HORSEMEN (w/ Woman, Liz & Debra) vs. THE DUNGEON OF DOOM
   This is like a pier six brawl following a longshoremen strike (I have no
   idea what that means.) Lot's of the usual "I hit you - you fall down -
   someone hits me from behind - repeat" action. Cut to Sting & Luger
   chasing down Nick Patrick in the back. Nick exits the building through a
   loading bay. We then see the black limo - with Patrick heading towards
   it. At the last second he veers off to the right between a police car and
   a large Turner Productions truck. Ted DiBiase (with a lackey/driver
   holding an umbrella) is seen entering the back seat. Sting goes off
   camera, then returns with what may be a brick or cinder block and throws
   it through the rear driver's side window. The limo takes off. Sting heads
   back towards the police car, shoves aside a startled cop, and roars off in
   high speed pursuit with Luger riding shotgun. "They've stolen a cop car -
   Sting and Luger are going to jail!" Laments Eric Bischoff.

   Back to the match. Ric Flair low blows Meng... Kevin Sullivan... and the 
   Barbarian. Big Bubba enters the ring, then cowers in the corner covering
   his family jewels. Quick shot of the cop calling for backup. (I'd like
   to hear that APB: "Attention all units... be on the lookout for two
   suspects in a stolen squad car... description as follows... suspect #1 is
   a male, caucasian, wearing tights and face paint... suspect #2 is a large
   muscular freak in shorts and big boots... ")

   Back again to the match where not much is happening. Benoit and Sullivan
   mix it up a lot, but the rest is fairly boring tag work. Finally Flair
   wraps Kevin Sullivan in the figure four leglock. Flair seems unable to
   put him away though, and seeks assistance from outside the ring. Benoit
   chases Woman into position and she (after a bit of arguing) grabs hold
   of Flair, giving him leverage and causing Sulivan to submit. Woman and
   Benoit argue some more... until the Outsiders arrive.

   Hall, Nash & Hogan storm the ringside area and floor not only all the
   Horsemen, but all the Dungeon of Doom as well. Cups and garbage fill the
   ring. The women escape as The Giant strides toward the ring. The crowd
   and announcers go crazy, expecting to see the NWO get theirs. The Giant
   enters the ring, grabs the Barbarian, and chokeslams him. Bischoff is
   stunned, then outraged as The Giant then chokeslams Meng. He embraces
   Kevin Nash and high fives Hogan. The four lay waste to anyone nearing the
   ring. Randy Savage slips into the ring with a chair and lays in a few
   shots until he too is taken down with a chokeslam (assisted by Hogan.)
   They spray "NWO" on his chest, then Hogan digs into his tights and pulls
   out a can of yellow spray - laying a yellow streak down Savage's back.
   (Perhaps the coolest moment of this was when Mongo McMichael climbs the
   ring apron with a chair. Nash dodges a flying cup and lays in a stiff
   forearm shot. Mongo's corpse goes flying off - out of the screen and into
   parts unknown.)

   The NWO head over to the announcer's booth, chasing off Bischoff and
   Tenay (Bobby Heenan had long since fled.) Nash mugs a bit on the mic as
   Hall flashes attitude (machismo?) toward the camera. The Giant dons a
   headset and tries in vain to relate the tale of how Ted DiBiase lured
   him away to the NWO. (Everytime he got rolling Hogan would interrupt.)
   Hogan spreads out on the desk, wallowing in his own crappulence. Another
   brawl breaks out, this time with Arn and Benoit looking a little too
   pissed to be a put on. The Giant accidentally falls off the raised area
   where the desk sits. The WCW elite are chased off again, and The Giant
   tries to resume his speech, but is again interrupted by Hogan, who
   announces he got The Giant a part in the next Schwarzenegger movie. Hogan
   tears off the Nitro logo, he and The Giant spit on it, then The Giant
   overturns the desk. The balance of power in WCW now shifted, the NWO
   stride off like Jolly Green Giants walking the Earth.

   The show ends 10 minutes early.

Next week's main event: Not announced.

Comments: Ay carumba! What a birthday party! 


WWF Monday Night RAW: Not on.

 - Next week's main event: Don't know.

Comments: Tennis still sucks.


Bottom line: A fierce installment of Nitro. The majority of the show just
kind of limped along, but it ended with a Hell of a bang. It's clearly
revealed that DiBiase is with the NWO, but there was still apparently
someone else in the limo (Hogan tells whoever it is to stay in there as he,
Hall & Nash exited.) It couldn't have been DiBiase because he was still in
the arena and was shown entering the limo later (though he could have been
in there and just happened to get out prior to Sting and Luger running out.
There also didn't seem to be anyone in there when the Horsemen checked,
so... ?) The Nick Patrick situation is still up in the air as he didn't get
in the limo. In the real world, Sting & Luger should be going away for a
very long time. I wonder if they will have to face "legal problems" or if
they will just announce that the police decided to not file any charges?
The crowd was hot and feisty, and the addition of Tenay to the crew is a
welcome one.


This week's winner: Nitro.


JRP