[RESULTS/OPINION]Monday Night RAW/Monday Nitro (2/5)

(Note: Due to time constraints, this will be very brief this week.)

Monday Night RAW: Taped 1/22.

 - No opening this week. Just the viewer's discretion warning and a
   stand-up intro by McMahon and Lawler.

 - SHAWN MICHAELS/DIESEL vs. YOKOZUNA/BRITISH BULLDOG (w/ Jim Cornette)
   A so-so match. Shawn does most of the work. Highlight was a Michaels
   splash onto Yokozuna from on top of Diesel's shoulders. Yokozuna is
   knocked out of the ring and is counted out, to the dismay of Cornette,
   The Bulldog, and Owen Hart, who had come to ringside. Faces leave as
   Cornette starts to berate Yokozuna for screwing up so much lately.
   Inevitably he goes too far and Yokozuna nails them, then does his best
   rampaging bull imitation to scare off the others. The face turn is
   complete.

 - Another Cactus Jack promo that says nothing.

 - HAKUSHI vs. 1-2-3 KID (w/ Millionaire Ted DiBiase)
   A fairly decent match. Several good maneuvers pulled off by each.
   The Kid hits Hakushi with a cannonball dive over the top rope onto
   the floor. Hakushi nails a Frankensteier and a great looking dropkick
   to the Kid as he was coming off the top rope. The Kid wins after a
   double underhook suplex off the top rope. The Kid came to the ring with
   the large baby bottle.

 - Brief comments from Cornette and his lawyer Clarence Mason re: Vader
   being reinstated.

 - Short interview with Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon says Vader being reinstated
   is up to the WWF board of directors. (Huh?)

 - Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer)
   The match itself is fairly irrelevant, it's what happed late in it that
   matters. Undertaker picks up Bret and the ref gets knocked out by a shot
   from Bret's boot. After a few moments, Diesel, who had come to the
   ringside table to give his commentary on the match, attacks Bret from
   behind, posting him. Diesel then delivers TWO Jacknifes to the Undertaker.
   He then hits Hart with a chair for good measure. Refs declare the match
   a draw as Diesel is pretty much booed out of the arena.

 - The conclusion of the Billionaire Ted Press Conference: This was very
   ugly. Any attempt at levity was gone as this was soley a personal attack
   at Turner. Ted says all he wants is power and money, money and power.
   He says he wants it so he can (in essence) die and meet his old man in
   heaven and tell him to kiss his ass. (I don't have the actual quote, but
   this is basically what he said - smacking his own ass to indicate the
   kiss. This is supposedly taken from an actual quote by Turner.) The show
   ends with a picture of a print ad accusing Ted of losing 40 million 
   dollars of stockholders' money in his personal vendetta against the WWF,
   his susequent failing to divulge such in TBS' financial statements, and
   warning prospective stock owners in the impending Time/Warner buyout
   (merger, whatever.) A voice over from McMahon says this ad will run in
   major newspapers, though was refused by certain larger ones. 

 - Next week's main event: RAW is preempted by USA for their yearly broad-
   cast of the Westminster Kennel Dog Show. The following week they will
   return with The Undertaker vs. Goldust.

Comments: A fairly lackluster show. The Kid/Hakushi match was good, but the
rest looked like a recap of the last week or so. The attack against Turner
was in really poor taste. I couldn't say if any of it is true or not, but 
what does it have to do with wrestling? Better yet, what does the WWF hope
gain? Turner ceasing his involvement with WCW? A court battle? The end of
WCW itself? Aren't these pretty much things they've accused Ted of doing?


Monday Nitro: Live.

 - RANDY SAVAGE vs. CHRIS BENOIT
   Savage is accompanied by Woman and Liz (who is wearing hot pants and 
   go-go boots for some reason.) Benoit dominates most of the match until
   he misses Savage on a dive to the floor. He hits with a sickening thwack
   and Savage throws him in the ring and delivers the elbow off the top 
   rope. Ric Flair is seen at ringside hassling Liz, so Savage ignores the
   pinfall attempt to go out after him. Out of nowhere Woman chokes Savage
   with a cable, then Flair and Arn Anderson work him over. Hogan arrives
   on the scene with a chair and nails Arn and Benoit, as the Horsemen flee
   with their new manager, Woman. Savage wins by disqualification.

   Hogan and Liz are tending to Savage as Mean Gene tries to conduct an
   interview. Hogan yells at Gene to back off. Suddenly Flair returns and
   sneaks up behind Hogan as Okerlund, Liz, and the entire arena tries to
   warn the oblivios legend. Flair nails Hogan in his bad eye and Hogan
   juices. Savage, who had been carried to the back, runs in fresh as a
   daisy to chase off Flair. He then yells at Liz for not warning Hogan. 

 - ARN ANDERSON/BRIAN PILLMAN vs. KEVIN SULLIVAN/HUGH MORRUS
   This was pretty much a brawl from the start. At one point Arn and Sullivan
   fight towards the back. After they reach a specific point, a shadowy
   figure whacks Arn from behind a curtain with a broom, doing little
   damage. Pillman is whipped like a dog by Sullivan later, then nailed by
   Morrus with a moonsault. The ref calls for the DQ because of Sullivan's
   having a strap.

 - RIC FLAIR vs. MARCUS BAGWELL
   Flair wins with the Figure Four in a match that seemed to last forever.
   Savage chases off Flair when he refuses to release his hold on Bagwell.
   Flair runs out of the ringside area like a scared little girl. To quote
   Bischoff "THERE goes your twelve time World Champion!" Orndorff shows
   up at the desk at the start of the match, thus informing us that it was
   he who whacked Arn with the broom.

 - LEX LUGER/STING vs. THE ROAD WARRIORS
   The show was running way over by now. At one point, the signal goes out
   for a few minutes. When they come back on, Bischoff claims all the power
   went out in the building. He then makes a veiled reference blaming the
   WWF. (Curiously enough, most of the this break was edited out of the
   replay - the first time I'm aware of that they've done any editing to a
   Nitro replay.) Luger pins Animal after Jimmy Hart shows up and gives him
   a heavy metal weight, which Luger smacks Animal in the back with. Of 
   the ref and Sting miss this. (We know it's a heavy weight because Hart
   drops it on the metal stairs before Luger uses it. Heenan identifies it
   as a weight used to hold the large arena doors open.) Sting is shown
   looking upset at Luger, while the LOD delivers an angry interview 
   demanding a rematch.

 - Next week's main event: They didn't say (or I missed it.)

Comments: Four matches - one clean finish. The only thing about this show
that held my interest was the fact that it was live. I hate to say it, but
the vast majority or the angles seem so contrived at this point (though we
are talking wrestling here.) The Horsemen are all over the map, becoming
more of a mess every week. Flair is still dead, regardless of recent lame
victories (ooh - he beat Marcus Bagwell!) Benoit is wasted and again no
Johnny B. Badd, Guerrero, Malenko, Wright, Konnan, or anyone else of any
appreciable level of talent. This show was delivered with the sublety of a
fist to the face: "Buy SuperBrawl!"
 

Bottom line: The Monday Night War is getting ugly.

This week's winner: Nitro.