[RESULTS/OPINION]Monday Night RAW/Monday Nitro (1/15) Monday Night RAW: Taped 12/18. - Brief nod to the enduring legacy of Martin Luther King jr. Then We're shown Sunny half nekkid on a pool table. Ain't America great? (Again, we are given the "Viewer's advisory" prior to the opening.) - OWEN HART (w/ Jim Cornette) vs. MARTY JANNETTY What should have been an excellent match turns out to be something far less. It wasn't bad, mind you, just dull. Owen dominates for most of the match. Jannetty stages a brief comeback. Owen eventually rolls Marty up, tying up Jannetty's legs with his own, and bridging over for the pin. (I'm sure there's a name for the maneuver.) - Todd Pettengill with the Royal Rumble promo. He announces that there will be a countdown show prior to the Rumble itself. The Rumble participants will draw lots from 1 to 30. Two of the competitors will end up with blank lots (indicating #'s 1 & 30.) Those two individuals will face off in a match on the Preview show. The winner gets #30 and will be the last to enter the ring for the Rumble later in the evening. The loser gets #1, and has to be the first entrant. The final rundown of Rumble participants: * Diesel * Owen Hart * British Bulldog * Dory Funk, Jr. * Savio Vega * King Mabel * Bam Bam Bigelow * Barry Horowitz * Yokozuna * Tatanka * Vader * Doug Gilbert * Jake "The Snake" Roberts * Jerry "The King" Lawler * Fatu * Isaac Yankem, D.D.S. * Henry O. Godwin * Marty Jannetty * Kama * Skip * Takao Amori * The Ringmaster * Hakushi * Mr. Bob Backlund * Hunter Hearst Helmsely * The 1-2-3 Kid * Shawn Michaels Unless I missed some, that makes 27 that have been announced. Also... * Bret Hart vs. The Undertaker for the World Title * Razor Ramon vs. Goldust for the Intercontinental Title * The Smoking Gunns vs. The Bodydonnas for the Tag Titles * Ahmed Johnson vs. "Double J" Jeff Jarrett - Sunny's back. This time she and her cleavage are playing pool. She wants us to know... she likes it RAW! 'Scuse me while I go take a quick, cold shower. - THE RINGMASTER (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. MATT HARDY Following an impressive array of moves (few of which he will actually ever use in a match with the real talent) Austin pins the jobber. His finisher is a Face Forward Suplex/Brainbuster/Mug Smasher. - Shawn Michaels feature. Cobbled together from the last four weeks worth of heartwarming retrospective clips. - THE SMOKING GUNNS vs. THE SPIDERS Match is joined in progress. Gunns squash the Spiders (a couple of guys in masks) with their patented Guillotine Legdrop off the top rope. - "Millionaire Vince's Monday Night Revenge." I mean... "Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' Warroom." This time around Ted wants to buy the WWF. It's apparently not for sale. Why isn't Ted's Wrasslin' as good as the WWF? Because he's got all the washed up, backstabbing, disloyal ex-WWF cast- offs from the 80's. "Hey... " says the Nacho Man. "I started in the 70's!" The Huckster flashes him a thumbs up. Ted tells the Huckster he'll be known as the "Boy Toy" from now on. - Vince McMahon interviews Goldust. Hendrix has been telling us throughout the show that Razor Ramon is on his way to the arena. Goldust asks McMahon "... is that a spare microphone in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" McMahon asks if Goldust's affections for Ramon are genuine, or is it all an act to "... play upon the homophobic reactions of men like Razor Ramon?" Goldust says he's very picky, and he's chosen Ramon to be the object of his affections. Lawler sums it all up: "Goldust is here... he may be queer... and you better get used to him... because he's going to be your next WWF Intercontinental Champion." - THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. ISAAC YANKEM, D.D.S. Maaaaaaan arrrrrre theeeeese twoooooo guuuuuuuuys sloooooooow?! Stomp. Kick. Punch. Undertaker with the eventual Tombstone Piledriver. All through the match we are updated on the progress of Razor Ramon, who has arrived at the arena and is seeking out Goldust. Following the match, Dok corners Goldust in the back for comments. Ramon flies in from off camera and jumps Goldust. The two brawl down a hallway, slamming each other into ring guard rails, tables, whatever is handy. Numerous officials try to separate them. Goldust lands a low blow which doubles over Ramon. Returning from a commercial break, the above is replayed. Live shot is shown of Ramon trying to "walk off" the groin shot. Goldust tries to make his escape (overcoat and gym bag in hand) but Ramon jumps him again, throwing him into a power junction box on the wall, then into a fire door out of the arena. They tumble in the snow. Ramon nearly connects with a snow shovel. Goldust slams Ramon into the WWF semi trailer. Goldust eventually flees the scene (sans luggage) in a car as Ramon throws a trashcan at the speeding vehicle. - Next week's main event: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Goldust. Uh-oh. Comments: The best match of the night was the brawl between Goldust and Razor Ramon. The rest were the sad remains of a tv taping four weeks old. The WWF has really laid it all on the table with the Goldust angle: Either he's depicable because he's gay - or he's despicable because he's pretending to be gay - or you have no objections to his being gay and must chose to like or dislike him. In any event, it's nearly impossible not to have an opinion one way or the other on this one. One thing's for sure: It draws heat. Monday Nitro: Live. - RANDY "MACHO MAN" SAVAGE vs. LEX LUGER In what could be the shocker of the night, Luger gets the clean win via submission with the Torture Rack. Crowd popped huge for Luger. Despite the loss, it was announced that Savage will face Flair for the title on Nitro next week. (Mentioned prior to the start of the match.) - Mean Gene interviews the Four Horsemen AND The Dungeon of Doom. Arn Anderson tells Kevin Sullivan that the match scheduled between himself, Brian Pillman, Sullivan, and Hugh Morrus will not take place. It's a feud neither of them have time for. Sullivan agrees. Pillman begins to shout Horsemen slogans, but is silenced by a slap from Anderson. For the remainder of the interview, Pillman does a slow burn. A cool interview, actually. Bischoff announces a replacement match... - THE PUBLIC ENEMY vs. THE AMERICAN MALES Same P.E. (Good.) Different music. (Bad.) Different jerseys. (Bad.) Different ring skills. (None.) Seriously, this is one of the worst debuts I've ever seen. Rocco Rock ("Naughty By Nature") and Johnny Grunge ("Violent by... decision?" - According to Bischoff) are allowed to do absolutely nothing in the ring. They sell even the weakest moves from the Males, offering almost nothing in return. Grunge pins Bagwell with a handfull of tights. As that's going on, Rocco knocks Riggs off the apron. Riggs hits the railing and is knocked out. Then Rocco takes over on Bagwell outside the ring. (Bagwell, for the most part seemed confused as to what the spots were going to be. I've never seen someone have so much difficulty being thrown into a barrier before.) Meanwhile Grunge sets up a table on the floor: Then another one. After slamming Bagwell into the ring apron, they stack the two tables up, setting Bagwell on top. Grunge then holds onto Bagwell's feet as Rocco cannonballs him through both tables! (Along nice pre-sawed lines.) Both Bagwell and Rocco sell the maneuver as near career ending injuries. Bischoff is going nuts on the mic, calling for security and saying there is no place for that in WCW. Sure Eric. - RIC FLAIR (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. STING A whole lotta the usual from these two. Flair does one of his worst "Flair Flops" ever. They both seemed to be trying, though. The end comes when Luger comes out to ringside. Hart is on the apron. Luger grabs him, trying to get the megaphone. Sting is thrown in the corner, hits his head on the megaphone, and gets covered by Flair for the pin. Luger enters the ring, but quickly flees when Hogan and Savage enter. Hogan helps the ref and Savage to revive Sting. Mean Gene comes in, mic in hand, and asks Sting what he thinks of his friend now. Sting seems confused, as if the knock on his head has clouded his memory. Savage tells him it was Luger that cost him the match. Sting storms off in search of Luger. Before things can completely quiet down, Hogan and Savage begin squabbling, questioning each other's loyalties. Hogan is upset that Savage is getting a shot at HIS belt. (It still has his name on it, ya know?) Savage feels Hogan is letting his ego carry him away. Savage leaves, with Hogan grumbling about their match vs. Flair and the Giant next week at the Clash of the Champions. - HULK HOGAN vs. MENG (w/ Kevin Sullivan.) Hogan hits the big boot. Sullivan jumps up on the apron. Hogan grabs the "Golden Spike" away from him and jabs Meng in the throat with it, shoves it into Meng's tights, and gets the pin. The usual melee breaks out until Savage arrives to clear the ring. - Next week's main event: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair. Run down for the Clash of the Champions: * Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/The Giant * Sting/Lex Luger vs. The Blue Bloods * The Public Enemy vs. The Nasty Boys * Konnan vs. Psicosis * Eddy Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko * Wedding of Col. Parker and Sherri Comments: Wow! Four matches, three screwjobs. Luger's clean win over Savage, (and something like his fourth overall, as the crew pointed out,) seems to be leading to something signifigant involving him. If one only watched the first part of the show, they'd think Luger was the company's biggest star. The Public Enemy's debut match was dreadful. Not even the table shot could save it. (It was set up quickly and executed efficiently - it was just really lame the way one could easily see where it had been sawed through on the bottom of both tables.) Much like with Sabu, don't be surprised if they never do another one. The Horsemen/Dungeon interview was the most interesting part of the show. Flair was in his tights and robe, but Arn had on a decent suit; Benoit had on slacks, white shirt and tie: Very business- like. Pillman had the usual jeans and t-shirt, which elicited a complaint from Arn. ("This is business and I told you to dress appropriately!") Pillman's days as a Horseman seem numbered. Bottom line: Though the Clash would seem to have some good matches on paper, there was nothing in this show that indicated any promise for a good card. They spent more time hyping the Clash than next week's Nitro. Since they've now started running a promo for SuperBrawl in February, one can pretty much assume that everything next week will just lead up to the PPV. We'll see. RAW, though absolutely devoid of anything good in the ring this week, did (IMO) a great job of setting up the Ramon/Goldust match. Sunny's been getting a huge push lately, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Bodydonnas won the straps. They've also built up the Hart/Undertaker match as a battle years in the making. Plus the mysteries of the Rumble itself: Will Sabu be in it? How about the Ultimate Warrior? (Who's rumored to be Hogan's surprise at the Clash next week.) This is the first PPV in months that I've been genuinely excited about. This week's winner: RAW (The Ramon/Goldust brawl narrowly edges out the combined P.E. table shot and the Horsemen interview.)