Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #285 April 30th, 2001 The Opening Word: It's funny how quickly one's interest in pro-wrestling can evaporate ... A friend of mine was going to try and make it over Sunday, and if he did we'd have watched Backlash. Turned out he couldn't make it, so I passed on getting the show. I didn't even bother checking out the results of the show until Monday afternoon. With work, family, friends, relationships and life in general always having to compete for your time, interest in a hobby that's lost its appeal can diminish pretty quickly. Wrestling is a hobby I've enjoyed for nearly twenty years. Yet there have been times in the past where my interest has waned and I've all but walked away completely. The last time that happened was in 1992, when I could no longer watch the WWF because seemingly every station here in Minnesota that carried it dropped them (and my cable company didn't carry the USA Network). That left just WCW, which at the time was going through one of its worst periods ever. I ended up only watching the Clash of the Champions shows, and the occasional weekly show (so I'd know when the next Clash was going to be on). I didn't really get back into wrestling until late '94, when we finally got USA and I could watch the WWF again. Then the Internet came along, and there was that whole ECW buzz going on, and I started trading tapes, getting caught up on what I'd missed in '93, etc. I don't know how close I am to walking away again, but when a week goes by and I can only barely bring myself to watch a few minutes of SmackDown! and Heat ... maybe that time is drawing near. Backlash, from the reviews I'm seeing, looks to be the first WWF PPV in some time that's generally getting bad reviews, not because it was bad, but because there wasn't anything special about it. SmackDown! had a lot of solid wrestling on it last week, yet it ended up drawing one of its lowest ratings ever. RAW last Monday continued to sink back down to pre-WCW demise levels in terms of viewership. There are those who say some wrestling fans aren't being fair to the WWF. I'd agree with that--at the same time being one of those who probably aren't judging the company on the merits of the product its delivering. The stories are fine, the wrestling's pretty good, and there's a remarkable absence of stupid gimmicks and angles. So what is the WWF doing wrong? Like I've said for weeks now, they need to step things up a notch, or two, or fifty. They need to come up with something that will make wrestling fans perk up and say "holy crap!" Turning Steve Austin heel isn't going to cut it. We've all seen guys go heel, and these days there's no one who has been a face long enough for that turn to mean enough. They need something like the NWO angle that will shake up the wrestling world and knock the fans on their asses. They need WCW. I know it can't be rushed, but this thing needs to get off the ground. They need to get back up and running, and right out of the starting gate we fans have to be given the impression that it's really trying to compete with the WWF. It has to look like they're trying to one-up the WWF, and on the very next WWF show after the relaunch they have to respond, saying "no--WE are the better wrestling promotion." Whether they do it with big angles or great matches it doesn't matter. The two promotions have to set a tone and go with it, pushing it to the limits, bragging about whatever aspect of their company they say is the best. Let one give us great matches while the other does awesome angles. Or try to outdo each other in those areas. Whatever--just make it seem like the war is back on and the shit's about to hit the fan. Vince is going to have to break out his checkbook and make some major talent be a part of all this. The "new" WCW isn't going to catch on if its biggest star is Sean O'Haire or Chuck Palumbo. They're the next wave of stars that have to be built up for a year or two or three down the road. McMahon is going to have to dig deep and bring back Goldberg, or take a shot with Rob Van Dam, or--heaven forbid--let Hulkamania run wild one last time. Get the fans talking about wrestling again. Make them want to tune into the new WCW show, then tune into RAW to see how the WWF reacts. Make wresting again seem like something you're afraid to miss, rather then the same old thing week-in and week-out. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Paul Heyman. WWF RAW: - Tonight: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin vs. Kane for the WWF Championship. - Kurt Angle opens the show doing what he does best--complaining about losing matches. He shows a clip from Backlash proving he'd have beaten Chris Benoit in their 30 minute submission match if the overtime period had begun immediately, rather than after a delay. The two had tied at three falls apiece during the initial 30 minutes. Angle, at the expiration of the 30 minutes, had Benoit in the anklelock, and Benoit tapped out just after the bell rang. When the match was restarted Benoit applied the Crippler Crossface and scored the sudden-death victory. (This entire angle is, of course, lifted directly from the main event of WrestleMania 12, where Bret Hart had Shawn Michaels in the Sharpshooter when time expired in their 60 minute Iron Man Match. Once the match was restarted, Michaels hit the Superkick and pinned Hart.) No matter, says Angle, because even though he lost the match, it doesn't change the fact that he will forever be an Olympic gold medalist. Chris Benoit comes out and, sure enough, after a scuffle, which results in Angle being dumped out of the ring with a German suplex, Benoit steals Angle's medals. Didn't see that one coming. Can I just assume these two will be wrestling again at Judgment Day and not give it another thought? - Angle, looking for Benoit backstage, comes across Michael Cole and Tazz. After he leaves Cole thoughtfully informs us that Benoit has left the building, and asks Tazz if they should tell Angle? Tazz says to let the jackass keep looking. - MATT HARDY (w/ Jeff Hardy) vs. EDGE (w/ Christian) There's a great near-fall in this match where it looks guaranteed that Edge has Matt pinned, but at the last possible moment Christian is rolled into the ring onto the ref, breaking the count. Matt then comes back with the twist of Fate and gets the pin. Nice match, with lots of crowd reaction. - Commissioner William Regal announces that because of what Chris Jericho did to the "Duchess of Queensbury" at Backlash he would have to face Rhyno tonight in a Hardcore Title match. Regal then has an encounter with Trish Stratus, who has been booked in a Women's Championship match against Chyna. Trish makes fun of Regal's manhood. - X-PAC (w/ Justin Credible & Albert) vs. SPIKE DUDLEY (w/ the Dudley Boyz) I'd swear one of the things that started to bug me about WCW a few years ago when I thought they were coasting with the NWO storyline was that it seemed like Syxx (X-Pac) somehow managed to win every match he was in. Things like that happen when your best pal Kevin Nash is practically running the company. Fast-forward a few years, and now his other best pal, Triple H, is running the WWF. X-Pac wins this unremarkable match with a clean pin. I fear the addition of Spike to the Dudley Boyz has taken away more than it's added. Seems to me the Dudleyz of old would have put these three stiff through flaming, barbed-wire wrapped tables by now. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley arrives via limo, displays a "bruise" on her cheek (the result of a big boot by Kane at the PPV), and asks where Test is? - The bruise on Kane's arm looks much more realistic than Stephanie's. - Edge is still trying to figure out how he lost when Kurt Angle interrupts he and Christian. They basically tell him they could care less about his precious medals. Angle storms off to continue his search for Benoit. - The Acolytes are taking a drunken Crash Holly for everything he's worth in poker. Holly is on a bender because he lost the Light Heavyweight Title to Jerry Lynn on Heat. (I caught that--it was an okay match.) - Stills are shown of Shane McMahon doing an elbowdrop from 30 feet in the air onto the Big Show at Backlash. Having not seen the PPV, all I can really say is "been there, seen it before, figured that was the whole point of the match." You know Shane's going to do a big bump in his matches, but unless you're watching the show as it happens, it loses its impact. - Stephanie tells Test that he has to wrestle Triple H tonight. - Chris Jericho is ... NEXT! - Hardcore Holly interrupts the poker game, tells Crash to go get ready to wrestle, and challenges the Acolytes to a match. Some spilled beer convinces them to accept. - RHYNO vs. CHRIS JERICHO Commissioner Regal joins the announce team to watch the match. Typical hardcore action, with Jericho actually on the verge of winning, when Edge & Christian come out to interfere. Spray from a fire extinguisher blinds Jericho, and a gore from Rhyno puts him away. Regal then enters the ring to add insult to injury, but Jericho quickly recovers and leaves Regal laying with numerous trashcan shots. Again, let me just assume these two are going to wrestle YET AGAIN at Judgment Day and I'll maybe start caring again then. Hopefully they won't rehash another bad WCW angle (the ever-changing rules as the match goes on) for that one. Up next: a State of the WWF Address. WWF WAR ZONE: - Vince & Stephanie hit the ring to rile up the crowd, then they bring out Triple H and Stone Cold. I like how when those two come out together they play McMahon's "No Chance in Hell" so the two don't have to argue over whose music gets played. The two men hold up their four title belts. Speaking of rehashed angles, the one at Backlash recycled the main event from In Your House 3. Diesel and Shawn Michaels had the World and IC belts, going up against Tag Champs Yokozuna and the British Bulldog. The WWF guaranteed going into the show that one of the titles would change hands. Owen Hart wound up subbing in the match and was pinned, giving the Kliq the tag belts. The WWF then pulled the Dusty Finish and said since Owen wasn't originally scheduled to be in the match the decision had to be reversed. Thankfully the WWF does learn from some of its mistakes and didn't copy *that* part of the angle. Anyway, before anything of any substance is said, the whole love-in is interrupted by Linda McMahon, holding court at WWF New York. Via satellite, Linda tells Vince that she will slow down their divorce proceedings if "certain events take place." Linda STRONGLY suggests that the injured Kane be given the night off, and the Undertaker get the shot at the Rattlesnake tonight instead. I'm surprised one of Mick Foley's magical post-dated commissioner documents didn't end up playing a role in all this. - Austin isn't happy, but Vince says his hands are tied. - THE ACOLYTES vs. HARDCORE HOLLY/CRASH HOLLY I'm only slightly amused at the sight of Crash Holly pretending to be drunk during this match. I'd tell you all what I did the last time I got drunk, but it's a tale that involves adult language, mature themes, and may not be suitable for all audiences. A woozy drop-kick off the top by Crash takes out his partner Hardcore instead of its intended target, and the Acolytes get the easy win. Then, as if this entire angle wasn't unsavory enough, Hardcore dishes out some "tough love" by smacking Crash around and powerbombing him. The crowd gets an uneasy kind of quiet, no longer amused nor entertained. Test is preparing for his match. Vince McMahon tells Triple H he has to set the tone for the evening in what he does to Test. - Lillian Garcia gets comments from the Undertaker. - TRIPLE H (w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley) vs. TEST An utter massacre. Triple H destroys Test with a chair, slams him into the ring steps, and finishes the job by powerbombing him onto the announce desk. Test is credited with a DQ win, so that means Triple H "did the job", right, and gave Test "the rub"? Traditional booking (and by that I mean SMART booking) would have seen Test score an upset win here, leading viewers to think that maybe the Undertaker could do the same in the main event against Austin. Kane comes out to make the save. - Triple H, oddly, complains about Kane sticking his nose in their business. Oh yeah, Kane sure has been a thorn in your side there buddy. Why don't you hit him with a few dozen more sledgehammer shots? - Footage is shown of the Rock attending the premiere of "The Mummy Returns". It's smart that they did this, but it is a bit hard to explain why Mr. McMahon would allow this footage to air after he suspended the Rock. They should have an answer for that, because they'll need it again when it comes time to hype the WCW relaunch on WWF TV. - Trish gives us all a look at her boobs. - CHYNA vs. TRISH STRATUS Trish bounces of Chyna, Chyna tosses her around for a bit, then lazily covers her for the pin, adding a last-second pat on the but as humiliation. Chyna then grabs a mic and says as much as she respects the women in the WWF, they just aren't any kind of competition for her. From now on she won't be pinning her opponents, she'll be spanking them. Lita then comes out and suggests she might offer more stiff competition. Chyna agrees, but warns her she might end up with a spanking too. The execution of this confrontation here was pretty bad, with Chyna being her usual self, Lita sounding like she just woke up, and both missing a music cue and blowing the timing. Chyna is playing such a heel character--she just hasn't turned on the fans yet to clue them in. It's heel Sable all over again. The Undertaker is ... NEXT! - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. THE UNDERTAKER The Undertaker is out first, but Austin seems a no-show. Cut to the back--Austin & Triple H have destroyed Kane. Undertaker rushes to the back and slams Triple H into a metal door. He and Austin then brawl to ringside. Eventually the bell rings to officially start the match. Moments later Triple H comes out and nails Undertaker in the back of the head with a sledgehammer. A barely mobile Kane limps out for the save, but he winds up killed out on the floor, his bandaged arm smashed on the steps, bashed with a chair, and Pilmanized by Ausin with a chair wrapped around it. Undertaker tries to rescue his brother, but he's bashed in the head with a chair, and mercilessly beat down with repeated chairshots. The show ends with Ross lamenting "who can stop this?!" The Bottom Line: Who indeed? Did anyone else hope there at the end that the Hardy Boyz would run out for the save, setting up a Tag Title match on SmackDown!? So basically we're back where we were the night after WrestleMania. Austin & Triple H are sitting easy atop the WWF. Vince McMahon seems to have no problem dealing with his clueless wife. Kurt Angle is feuding with Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho is feuding with William Regal, the Dudley Boyz are feuding with X-Factor, and the company as a whole is lacking a top babyface. Who indeed can stop McMahon's boys running roughshod over the WWF? Kane has been shown to be a liability for the Undertaker, who by himself (and, as we saw at the PPV, as a team) can't beat the Terrible Trio. Test was cut off at the knees before he even became an option. The Hardy Boyz have been unceremoniously dumped back down to the midcard, squabbling with Edge & Christian over the European Title. The only possible candidate is the Rock, and he's off making movies. Maybe it's all a SWERVE, and the Rock will actually come back sooner than this summer, in which case the WWF would be building up to ... things being the way they were leading up to WrestleMania. Sounds thrilling. I hear "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a pretty fun show to watch Monday nights. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2001 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 285 of the "Monday Night Recap", April 30th, 2001.