Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #282 April 9th, 2001 The Opening Word: Just a few things before we get to the show ... There seems to be a small faction of WCW fans (or rather ex-WCW fans, since *that* WCW no longer exists) who are holding out hope that the government will step in and declare Vince McMahon's ownership of WCW a monopoly, thus somehow forcing Vince to give up the company and "save" that southern brand of wrestling they so dearly love. People ... get over it. Vince McMahon assumed the monopoly of the wrestling business long ago--at the very latest at the moment Time Warner canceled the WCW shows, thus killing WCW as a viable wrestling promotion. Vince McMahon buying WCW was irrelevant. Vince's command of the wrestling marketplace gave him the monopoly, not him assuming the ownership of the competition. ECW and WCW, they died of their own accord. The government can't step in and tell Vince to get rid of WCW because what would they be telling him to get rid of? The WCW name? The tape library? There's nothing to get rid of, and there's nothing in Vince's owning WCW that's creating a monopoly. The office staff ... fired. The production crew ... fired. The WCW offices ... vacant. The ring, cameras, lights, and other equipment ... sitting in a warehouse somewhere. The former WCW wrestlers ... all sitting in limbo while the WWF decides who they want to hire. The WCW that was a touring wrestling promotion with two primetime cable television shows NO LONGER EXISTS. It went out of business, and Vince McMahon just bought up what was left at its clearance sale. Listening to the various Internet radio shows, reading columns on various sites, and reading my own E-Mail, I can't believe there are so many wrestling fans out there who don't get that. WCW is dead. Period. Wishing the government would go after the WWF isn't going to change that. Suppose that did happen, and somebody out there filed an anti-trust lawsuit against the WWF. Suppose a court ruled that the WWF would have to divest its interest in WCW. What do you think would happen? Do you think Vince is going to go to all the trouble of creating a WCW company that he would then have to get rid of? Hell no. This isn't like Microsoft where there was a corporate structure already in place that would allow it to be split into separate companies, one devoted to computer operating systems, and another devoted to Internet web browser software. (And isn't *that* case still under appeal after years of litigation?) WCW is no longer a separate company, it's just a name on a piece of paper, and in a few weeks it'll be the name of a new WWF wrestling TV show. I must have gotten a half-dozen E-Mails last week from people convinced that the government was going to force Vince McMahon to sell WCW to Eric Bischoff. Yeah ... right. How can the government force Vince to sell WCW for any less than he just paid for it, and where is Eric Bischoff going to get that kind of money to buy it? Who's going to pay $20 million--or however much Vince paid for it--for a wrestling promotion that doesn't have a cable TV timeslot? It's not like that proposed Saturday night TNN timeslot belongs to WCW. Don't kid yourselves, that's a WWF timeslot. The WWF doesn't have to exert any pressure on TNN to prevent them from giving that slot to another wrestling company. TNN isn't even all that excited about giving it to the WWF, wrestling being such a low-valued commodity on TV these days. The government couldn't force TNN to give a slot to an Eric Bischoff-owned WCW. If Eric Bischoff could have lined up a TV slot for WCW Fusient would have bought the company when they had the chance. There is some speculation that Time Warner canceled the WCW shows so that they could sell the company to the WWF. It was the cancellation of the shows which caused Fusient Media Ventures to give up its bid to buy the company. Whether this is true or not, the fact remains that Fusient had its chance to buy WCW, and they basically gave up when they saw what their chances were of turning a profit with the company. What they were buying, and what Vince McMahon ultimately bought, are really two separate things. Fusient would have bought the company essentially intact, the most valuable asset of which being the TV deal. Vince just bought the name, and a tape library he may try to make a buck with some day down the road. Second to this whole monopoly issue is the bitterness being directed at the WWF by (ex)WCW fans over Vince killing off their "southern" wrestling. Sorry gang, but if you want to point that finger of blame, there's a whole list of people to have to point it at first before you get to Vince McMahon. The first (and probably biggest) name on that list is Eric Bischoff, followed by Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Vince Russo, Brad Siegel, and a bunch of others. Eric Bischoff always hated that identification of WCW with southern wrestling. His goal was to give it a broader mainstream appeal, like the WWF. If you want to know when WCW as "southern" wrestling died, try July 17th, 1994, when Bischoff brought in Hulk Hogan at Bash at the Beach and immediately put Hogan over Ric Flair for the WCW Championship. If that wasn't the final nail in the coffin it was at least the first, and subsequent nails came every time WCW did a show in the Carolinas or Georgia where they buried Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Sting, or anyone else associated with the NWA and WCW's glory days of the 80's. I was thinking about WCW last week, missing it for what it once was (but certainly not for what it had become). I started thinking about WCW's impending return, and realized that I'm really not all that excited about it. It's about the talent they have, or lack thereof. Seeing Shawn Stasiak feud with Billy Gunn just isn't something I wanna see. Moving on ... a few thoughts on SmackDown! and the Steve Austin heel turn and such. I thought the Austin interview on SmackDown! was tremendous. You wanted an explanation, there it was. Was it great? No, but how many heel turns are? Anybody remember Hulk Hogan's explanation for turning heel and joining the NWO? No, I didn't think so. This has certainly been done better than the Goldberg heel turn for one very important reason: Austin's actually playing a heel. People get turned--sometimes they need to--and I find it ironic that all those people out there who have been saying since Austin's return that he was stale and needed to turn, now that he has, they're bitching. I'm less sold on his explanation for suddenly cozying up to Triple H. That was weak. BUT ... this may be something we'll have to keep our eyes on. Who says Austin isn't just setting up Triple H to screw him over royally, kicking off the long-awaited Helmsley face turn? As they say, you keep your friends close, and enemies even closer. Certainly if the WWF thinks the Austin heel turn has flopped they could have him turn on McMahon and Helmsley, saying he just played along with them to get the title. It'll weaken Austin's appeal I suppose, but we are talking about contingent plans here anyway in case the heel turn fails. At least, comparing it to that Goldberg turn again, it'll be a believable plotline. I'm puzzled by Triple H beating Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. How can everyone in the WWF undercard not be totally demoralized by that move? Unless the plan is for Jericho to regain the belt somehow this week, I don't see what it accomplished. Why destroy an undercard guy just to help sell a storyline between Austin & Triple H? Those two both having belts does add to tensions that could be played up between them, but it isn't necessary, and is it worth trashing Jericho to do so? We've all seen Triple H holding Jericho back in the past, and unless there's something going on I'm not seeing, I can't believe this is anything other than Helmsley's most blatant move to crush Jericho yet. Backlash sure looks like it's going to be headlined by Austin & Triple H vs. the Undertaker & Kane. Word is the Rock is going to be held off TV for a few months, meaning an Austin/Undertaker main event is probable for the May PPV. Maybe it's just me, but that sounds like a less-than-stellar next few months of TV. Not terrible by any means, but just a bit boring perhaps until King of the Ring or so. Maybe they have some ideas to spice up the undercard, picking up the slack. Damn, that sounds a little like WCW, doesn't it? And if the undercard doesn't pick up the slack, that sounds a lot like the WCW that began the fast slide to oblivion in 1999. Speaking of WCW, the target date for its return has been pushed back about a month to the middle of June. The WWF has really only just started putting things together, and would have had to rush to launch its first show in May. I sure hope they put a lot of thought into it. We all know that the odds of WCW being around a long time are slim. The better it is when it comes back, the better the eventual interpromotional feud with the WWF will be. Who knows ... by then the WWF may need it. Badly. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Boston, Massachusetts. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Paul Heyman. WWF RAW: - Video package recounting the Vince & Linda McMahon saga. - Opening & pyro. - Vince McMahon greets the late-arriving Jim Ross. He says they have some things to discuss before Ross assumes his position at the announce desk, and steers the battered Oklahoman to his office. - Kurt Angle comes to the ring and riles up the crowd by badmouthing the Red Sox. Boston may not know about winning championships, but Angle does, and he challenges any WWF champion to come out and face him. Predictably ... *KA-BOOM!* KURT ANGLE vs. KANE Hardcore isn't exactly Angle's thing, and Kane is well on his way to securing the victory when the Big Show enters the fray. Big Show beats on both men, since he wants the Hardcore Title. Enter the Undertaker, out to even up the odds. A funny moment: Angle, who had just been nailed by the Undertaker, joins him and Kane in beating on the Big Show. When he stops to acknowledge their new "partnership", the Undertaker and Kane pop him. Double chokeslam, and Kane covers the Big Show for the pin. Watching it, it all makes sense, but try to explain how Kane can pin Big Show to beat Angle and it sounds like a Hulk Hogan match from 1995. Vince asks JR if he's comfortable, and tells him he's invited someone to make him feel at ease. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin bursts in. He takes a seat next to Ross, tells him he's wearing a pretty cowboy hat, and rubs his neck. Vince says in a bit they're going to watch some movies. Is it just me or is this coming off like some weird, homophobic nightmare? - Big Show challenges the Undertaker. - Apparently one of the things McMahon got when he bought WCW was one of their magic VCR's, because when he slips a tape in we see a direct feed from it, and not just a shot of the TV they're watching. The Stone Cold interview from last Thursday is played in its entirety. In case you missed it. Austin says he was coming off the biggest comeback ever, and with it being the biggest WrestleMania ever, there was no way he was going into his match with the Rock without an "insurance policy". Vince McMahon was that insurance policy. Austin has never cared about the fans--never claimed to be their hero. Asked about Triple H, he says if there was someone sick enough to try and run you over with a car, wouldn't you want them by your side? Austin then belittles JR, and says he looks like he's just lost his best friend. JR says maybe he has, and talks about being there when Austin got out of surgery, and he and his wife being at Austin's wedding. JR says the interview is over, and when he turns his back the Rattlesnake nails him. At that point Vince McMahon comes out and orders Austin to stop taking it easy on JR. Austin leaves JR a bloody mess. Back live, Austin makes it clear to Ross the same could happen again, and he leaves. McMahon then asks Ross if he's in the proper frame of mind to do his job tonight? JR responds that he's had a talk with his lawyer, who says he has a pretty good lawsuit on his hands. Or JR could quit, in which case he'd "go down to WCW" and work for Vince's son Shane. JR leaves Vince looking flustered. - The "Oklahoma Fight Song" ushers Jim Ross to his position at ringside. - RHYNO vs. CRASH HOLLY (w/ Molly Holly) Rhyno wins in a squash. When he starts manhandling Molly, Hardcore Holly comes in for the save. Stephanie tries to assure Vince that everything is going to work out tonight, when she suddenly spots Linda McMahon arriving at the building on a monitor. - Linda, moving through the back, exchanges pleasantries with the Acolytes and Chyna. - Spike Dudley is being interviewed when X-Pac, Justin Credible & Albert pop in to heckle him for losing to Lita on Sunday Night Heat. Spike tries to stand up for himself, but they leave him laying. - Commissioner William Regal orders Jonathan Coachman to tell Chris Jericho that he has to face Chris Benoit later tonight. - The Big Show ... the Undertaker ... NEXT! - THE UNDERTAKER vs. THE BIG SHOW Quick win for the Undertaker, with a pin following a huge powerbomb. Big Show's ballooning weight must have finally put him back in the doghouse. Linda McMahon's up next. Not a lot of wrestling this hour. (Arena Football? You think TNN is looking forward to that following the disastrous season the XFL just completed.) WWF WAR ZONE: - The old, cheesy WrestleMania music signals the entrance of Linda McMahon. I must say, her fashion sense is every bit as dubious as Vince's. I think they both wear jackets made from old couch upholstery. Anyway ... Linda thanks the fans, and says she's resumed her duties as CEO of the WWF. She's proud of her son Shane. Getting to the matter of her being here tonight, she invites hubby Vince to come out. Vince obliges, swaggering to the ring. Linda refuses Vince's offer of a hug. Vince says he knows why she's here--she's come to apologize to him, for kicking him in the gonads. "Vince ... shut up!" Linda cues up the clip from December of Vince telling Linda he wanted a divorce. (Damn, the XFL sure has aged Vince in four months!) Linda says he broke her heart and made her ill, but not ill enough to warrant her being medicated and institutionalized. Clips are shown of Vince having some fun with Trish Stratus, Vince ordering Linda's medication being doubled, etc. Linda gloats about the events at WrestleMania in Vince & Shane's Street Fight Match. Vince tells her he'll give her what she wants and offers an apology. He even gets down on one knee. The crowd is all like "don't do it, girlfriend!" Linda, however, doesn't bite. "Vince, I didn't come here for an apology. You read my lips: I want a DIVORCE!" Is that it? I was expecting a bit more. - Lita tells Linda McMahon that what she did was inspiring. Vince then runs in and tries to stop the departing limo, to no avail. Having heard what Lita said, Vince books her in a six-person mixed-tag, with her friends the Hardy Boyz, against Stephanie, Triple H & Stone Cold. - THE DUDLEY BOYZ (w/ Spike Dudley) vs. X-FACTOR (w/ Albert) X-Pac & Justin have YET ANOTHER new entrance theme, this one the lamest one yet. Our evening of short & inconsequential matches continues, as the Dudleyz quickly pin Credible following the 3-D. The Whazzup Headbutt to the nuts follows, but when they set a table up Albert comes in and Baldobombs Buh-Buh Ray through it. Vince, packing to leave, tells Stephanie & Triple H to stop being selfish and to prepare for their match. Jericho ... Benoit ... NEXT! - Matt Hardy grills Lita, trying to figure out how they got into this mess. Jeff Hardy thinks it's a good opportunity for them. - CHRIS BENOIT vs. CHRIS JERICHO William Regal surprises no one by appointing himself the special guest referee for the match. As the match gets underway he favors neither man, making slow counts, ignoring pin covers, etc. Jericho then accidentally kicks Regal coming off the turnbuckles. Regal responds with a forearm shot, and delivers one to Benoit as well. The two match participants then team up to beat on Regal. Lionsault. Swandive headbutt. Y2J slaps on the Walls of Jericho, and Benoit really pops the crowd adding a Crippler Crossface. The bell rings and referees run in to break it up. The winner is ... the WWF fans? Entertaining, I guess. It wouldn't have made sense, but they might just as well have had the two take turns pinning Regal, while the other counted three. Jericho and Benoit give each other that uneasy look again. - JR plugs the XFL playoffs. Paul Heyman looks so bored. - Earlier Today, Steven Richards tries to recruit Raven into Right To Censor. Raven blows them off, calling them hypocrites. Val Venis tells Raven if he isn't with them, he's against them. Ah, they can't kid me--Raven doesn't want to join Stevie because he blames him for screwing up his relationship with Beulah McGillicutty. - Edge & Christian are at WWF New York. They unveil a seven second pose to celebrate their seventh WWF Tag Team Title reign. - Triple H & Stone Cold plot strategy, while Stephanie whines about being ignored. - VAL VENIS (w/ the RTC) vs. RAVEN Why do they always do matches like this so late in the show? Of course it lasts just a minute or two because there's hardly any time left. The other RTC members interfere, but Raven keeps kicking out. A Money Shot by Venis finally secures the win. Here's an idea ... why not do this an hour earlier, give the match time to develop, and give Raven the upset win to pop the crowd? Better yet, don't do it at all tonight, giving the main event three extra minutes. - STEVE AUSTIN/TRIPLE H/STEPHANIE MCMAHON vs. THE HARDY BOYZ/LITA *KEE-RASH!*--the crowd pops, until they remember they're not supposed to do that anymore. The first few minutes are a donnybrook, Austin & Triple H selling like crazy for the youngsters. I'd heard rumors about tonight's show, and assumed they were about this main event, but I'll believe it when I see it. As the match settles in Austin & Triple H take control. Long heat segment on Jeff Hardy. He eventually tags in Matt, who takes out both Stone Cold and Triple H with a flying double clothesline. The action then spills to the floor. Lita, meanwhile, whips Lita into the ring, hits a moonsault, and covers for the pin. Weak finish. Triple H then comes in to menace Lita, while Austin readies a steel chair. Lita turns, but Austin just stares at her. It's Triple H who hits her from behind, followed by a Pedigree. Matt Hardy comes in, but he gets laid out. Austin plasters Jeff with the chair. Austin destroys Matt with the chair as well. Lita crawls over and covers Matt, so Austin destroys her with the chair too! The cussing I can hear coming from my Dad in the next room would make a sailor blush. Triple H drags Lita around by the hair, then picks her up so Austin can flip her off, lay in the gut kick, and drop her with the Stone Cold Stunner. Trash starts to fill the ring. Heat, or a sign of trouble to come? The Bottom Line: A very storyline intensive show, which in itself wouldn't be bad, but it's pretty weak when the main storyline could have played out in one brief interview segment. The whole bit with Vince & Linda shouldn't have taken no more than five minutes. The other big storyline, the thing with Jim Ross early in the show, what was the point of that other than to replay the SmackDown! interview? Why not just play a CONDENSED replay package? Too bad that for all this focus on storylines so little actually advanced. Somebody's getting elevated? I think Dave Meltzer got worked. It was up to the main event to save the show, but I don't think it succeed. Like I said above, the undercard needs to pick up some slack. It sure didn't do that this week. Everything was just going through the motions, or like the new Val Venis/Raven feud, being plucked out of thin air. If there is a positive I guess it's that we can say a lot of guys got the night off tonight. Even a lot of them who actually had to work got to take it easy. I can't remember a recent RAW that was this weak in the wrestling department. Usually the main event makes up for a week show. Not this week. If the Rock, whose only mention this week was to say McMahon had suspended him, is going to be gone for so long, shouldn't we start seeing who's going to fill that spot in his absence. It's obviously the Undertaker, but he didn't do anything remotely related to Austin or Triple H this week. Would it have been too much to have shown he and Kane watching the main event in the back, looking disgusted, or have them do a run in just as the show is ending? I know they need to get heat on Austin, but it's quickly turning into that NWO kind of heat, demoralizing the fans because it doesn't look like anyone can beat him. Maybe they can get away with it for this show, but we better start seeing something this Thursday. I think the WWF is forgetting what impact the demise of WCW has had on wrestling fans. They saw a show there where week after week the bad guys won. The next thing anyone knew the company had been sold and the show canceled. So what happens in the WWF? Stone Cold turns heel, and that some depression is starting to set in there. In hindsight the WWF probably should have pushed the heel turn off until this summer, or at least until after WCW was brought back. Maybe a heel Austin is more exciting right now, but I think there's something to be said about giving the fans something that's uplifting. Having Austin turn at WrestleMania was a bummer, and two weeks of TV now since then have built on that impression. What good is it to have the Rock come back and kick Austin's ass if in the interim you've turned off fans who were too depressed to see the bad guys win every week? The Hardyz should have gotten a real win here tonight, I'd say with Jeff Hardy pinning Stone Cold. And no post-match beatdown to get their heat back. End the show with the Hardyz & Lita on the stage celebrating, the fans going nuts, and Stone Cold looking pissed in the ring. Call me a mark at heart, but just once in a while I like to see the good guys come out on top. Maybe that's why the Undertaker's win over Triple H was my favorite match at WrestleMania. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2001 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 282 of the "Monday Night Recap", April 9th, 2001.