Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #248
August 14th, 2000

The Opening Word:

Sometimes trying to make sense of WCW is like trying to find a funny joke in 
any recent Mel Brooks movie.

Even if we take WCW at its word and accept what it presents as "shoots" 
being real, things still make very little sense. To wit: New Blood Rising, 
and the latest Vince Russo "shoot" ... of sorts.

For weeks they've teased that Russo was going to screw someone over at New 
Blood Rising, like he did to Hulk Hogan last month at Bash at the Beach. 
The obvious candidate seemed to be Kevin Nash, an aging, broken-down, fading 
star who has been a cancer on the WCW lockerroom. If one assumed what 
happened to Hulk Hogan was an angle, Kevin Nash was the logical next target 
in the continuing storyline.

Then things took a turn, as "rumors" surfaced that Goldberg was refusing to 
cooperate with Vince Russo behind the scenes. Suddenly we learned that 
there's tremendous bad blood between the two, and that Russo may do 
something to screw Goldberg at the PPV. That, or Goldberg would totally 
refuse to cooperate, thus not allowing Russo the opportunity to screw him. 
Like Hulk Hogan the month before, there was speculation that Goldberg might 
not show up at the PPV, and plans were being made by WCW for just that 
eventuality.

New Blood Rising hits the air, and WCW announces that Goldberg was in a 
motorcycle accident, and that he might not be wrestling after all. Net 
sources quickly confirmed that Goldberg was indeed in an accident, but that 
it was minor, and that he was already at the arena, despite WCW's on-air 
claims that he wasn't. Throughout the show they would repeat the claims that 
Goldberg hadn't arrived, and that his participation in the three-way with 
Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner was in doubt.

Come time for the match Kevin Nash delivers another now-familiar "shoot" 
speech badmouthing Goldberg for ducking the match. Goldberg's music 
plays--twice--but he doesn't come out. (At this point things have played out 
almost exactly as they did with Hogan at the last PPV.) The match begins, 
and a few minutes in Goldberg finally comes out, sporting bandages 
necessitated by his supposed motorcycle accident. The match plays out for a 
while, no different than any other match, when Goldberg suddenly refuses to 
allow Kevin Nash to Jackknife him. Goldberg walks out of the ring.

Now Russo puts in his appearance and, as he did the month before, orders 
Goldberg to go back and "do the job." Goldberg tells him what he can go do 
with himself, and walks out.

The announcers basically say things have deviated from the script, and that 
the match is now in trouble because the planned finish has been ruined. From 
there the match plays out with Nash Jackknifing Steiner, winning the match, 
and earning a shot at the World Title at the next PPV.

The similarity between most of these events, and what happened to Hulk Hogan 
at the Bash, cannot be ignored. Accepting what we saw at face value, 
Goldberg refused to do what he was told, and walked out of a match.

The question now is what happens next? Presumably Goldberg is going to 
attempt to quit WCW, while WCW seeks to punish him for what he did.

If what we saw was real.

The problem is it didn't even seem real. It played out just like a wrestling 
angle, with some "shoot" language by the announcers thrown in to sell that 
what the fans saw was really real. It doesn't help matters that just a month 
earlier a similar incident took place which WCW swears up-and-down was real. 
Now this happens, and we're supposed to believe that this was real too--that 
a disgruntled wrestler was allowed to take part in, then walk out of, a 
match airing on a live pay-per-view broadcast.

To accept that what happened to Hulk Hogan was real, one had to believe an 
extraordinary string of coincidences, blunders, and ridiculous decision 
making. The "real" story, as WCW tells it, is that Hulk Hogan basically held 
up the company by refusing to lose to WCW champion Jeff Jarrett, and was in 
fact demanding to win the title. Backed into a corner, Vince Russo "gave" 
Hogan that victory, then took it away during a "shoot" speech, where he 
revealed that Hogan's victory meant nothing, and that he didn't really win 
the WCW Title after all.

With that experience behind them, we're now supposed to believe that WCW 
somehow allowed itself to be put into nearly the EXACT SAME position again 
just a month later. Goldberg was refusing to lose in his match against Nash 
& Steiner. They even believed Goldberg might not show up--an possibility 
they supposedly planned for. Then Goldberg showed, and took part in the 
match, but when it came time for him to do the job, he balked--and walked 
out of the match. And this time Russo didn't even get a chance to screw him, 
as Goldberg told him to go "F" himself and kept on walking.

Questions immediately spring to mind, and they pretty much deflate the idea 
that what happened could possibly have been real. The simplest, and most 
devastating to WCW's story, is why would they even allow Goldberg to go to 
the ring if they feared he was not going to "do the job" as asked? Just as 
big a question, why would Goldberg himself go to the ring if 1) he had no 
intention of doing what was asked, and 2) he had reason to suspect that 
Russo might somehow screw him over? Hell, why did Goldberg even show up at 
the arena at all? WCW had teased that Goldberg might not be there, and as 
the show aired they said he wasn't there.

Similar questions have arisen from the Hulk Hogan incident. While they 
couldn't be answered with any degree of confidence, they could be ignored 
just enough to believe what happened to Hulk Hogan was real.

Now this happens, and not only does it smell phony, it casts further doubt 
on what happened to Hulk Hogan being real (not that many people believed it 
was real to  begin with).

Of course if this is real it pretty much means WCW has lost its top 
star--for the second month in a row. While many fans didn't mind it in the 
case of Hogan, one has to wonder if reaction will be the same in the case of 
Goldberg. Prior to the PPV WCW had tried to play up that Goldberg was being 
"difficult," "uncooperative" and "unprofessional," attempting to turn fans 
against him. One has to assume that theme will intensify, be it real or an 
angle. With Goldberg supposedly doing the same thing Hogan did (refusing to 
job), we have to assume WCW would never want to use him again.

Assuming this is an angle, we once again have a situation where WCW is 
deliberately taking a big star off TV, presumably with the intention of 
bringing him back as part of an angle at a later date.

I've always questioned such storylines when employed, and there was no other 
reason to remove the star from TV. Why deny yourself an asset if they're 
healthy and could be a benefit to your show, and its TV ratings? You're 
basically making your show worse, just so it'll be better later. Will the 
benefits you gain by their return outweigh the damage you do yourself by 
not using him in the interim? I guess WCW's claim in that respect would be 
that Goldberg hasn't meant anything to the ratings anyway, so why not pull 
him from TV?

But, again, if it was real, then WCW has a huge mess on their hands. What, 
about that, is supposed to be entertaining to us fans?

Sorting out what's real, what's supposed to be real, what isn't real, and 
what started out as real but was turned onto a work ... after a while it's 
no longer worth the effort. I don't know if what happened to Hulk Hogan was 
"real," or if what Goldberg did was "real," and after a while ... I no 
longer care. I watch wrestling to be entertained. Things that are supposedly 
real and not what was planned aren't entertaining, so why would doing things 
that are supposedly real going to be any more entertaining than if they were 
really real?

I'm not sure if that makes any sense ... but neither does WCW ... so I guess 
we're even.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Kelowna, British Columbia.
Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson & Mark Madden.

HOUR ONE:

 - Immediately we see Vince Russo and Tank Abbott in the ring. The crowd is
   chanting "asshole!" which is muted. Russo says he was out there a month
   ago to screw over another guy, who we all know because he hasn't been
   seen since. Much of Russo's language here has to be muted. Russo says
   he'd do the same to Goldberg, but can't fire him because "the fans *like*
   Goldberg." Russo says "screw the fans, and screw Bill Goldberg!" Mark
   Madden cheers Russo on, while Scott Hudson plays it up as business as
   usual. Tony Schiavone, he says little, asking "what can I say? I'm not
   calling this." Russo, perhaps setting a new profanity record, says he's
   brought out Tank Abbott to kick Goldberg's ass. Russo says Goldberg's
   living in a fantasy world, and that in his mind he thinks he can beat
   anybody. Why, then, not come out and prove it with Abbott? There's a few
   signs in the crowd calling Goldberg names, and one proclaiming Russo
   "God," but for the most part the fans are heavily booing Russo and
   keeping an eye out for Goldberg. Russo makes a "cut!" motion and they go
   to commercial.

 - The camera is one the announcers. Russo comes over and orders them to
   show Goldberg getting his ass kicked by Abbott. Instead we see Goldberg,
   ribs and arm taped up, kicking Abbott's ass. Abbott gets in no offense as
   Goldberg tosses him around ringside. Rather than a "real" fight, this
   looks like a wrestling match, as Goldberg is very methodical in his
   action, even using wrestling moves like the Irish Whip and clothesline.
   The fans are solidly behind Goldberg. Russo cusses and spits and flips
   him off, and Goldberg occasionally goes after him--not too seriously,
   though. Russo hides behind the announce table, which gets knocked over.
   Madden keeps asking what they should say. They go to another commercial.

   For nearly five minutes we get commercials and WCW-related promos.

 - The announcers, still flustered, announce that Russo has ordered WCW
   Commissioner Ernest Miller to sign another #1 contender match. Hudson
   says Goldberg walked out of the match at the PPV, which wasn't "on the
   format, not what was booked." Clearly they've given up trying to convince
   the "smart" fans that this is real.

 - Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson hit the ring. Shane, after working over
   the Canadian crowd, calls Reno out for a tag team match. I guess the
   story with Reno is that he's the boyfriend of one of the Nitro Girls that
   Kidman slept with (while under the influence of Viagra).

   SHANE DOUGLAS/RENO vs. BILLY KIDMAN/BIG VITO
   Short, but okay, with Vito pinning Reno following a splash off the top.
   Douglas then tries to handcuff Kidman in the corner, but Vito makes the
   save. Douglas ends up handcuffed, and Reno laid out, at which point the
   Perfect Event, Sean O'Haire & Mark Jindrak all run in to beat on Kidman &
   Vito. Mark Madden has already gotten on my nerves tonight by being so
   solidly on the heels' side, despite all reason and logic. If they're a
   bad guy, EVERYTHING they do is great. Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler ... at
   least they show certain moments of clarity and reason when heels cross
   the line. Madden doesn't do that. Maybe it's just because he's so LOUD
   this week, with Hudson having nothing of substance to say, and Schiavone
   sounding like he suffered a heart attack and doesn't know it.

   The Filthy Animals give Commissioner Miller a female "assistant." Great,
   another woman added to the mix.

   David Flair, still covered in mud from the PPV, forlornly roams the
   halls. Major Gunns asks if Miss Hancock is okay. He ignores her. Yep ...
   that was REAL, wasn't it?

 - Flair starts talking while they're still showing photos from the mud pit
   debacle at the PPV. The gist of David's rambling promo is that he's
   depressed because he doesn't know what's wrong with Hancock. Major Gunns,
   watching in the back, is at the verge of tears. She comes out and
   apologizes for what happened to Hancock. Flair snaps out of his funk and
   yells "what did you do to her?!" Here comes Hancock, and she stops David
   in his tracks by revealing that she's pregnant. The crowd reaction could
   be best summed up as "aww, give me a break!" Schiavone asks if we've ever
   seen a pregnancy announced in a wrestling ring? Sure, Tony, in ECW,
   nearly FIVE YEARS AGO! David does the trademark Flair strut--the only
   entertaining about this whole segment. Can you say bad, bad, BAD acting?
   Madden: "Snootchie bootchies, you two crazy kids!" Bleah!

 - Stacy Keebler--Miss Hancock--snuggles with Flair backstage.

 - Lance Storm comes out to address the crowd. I wonder if the Canadian fans
   realize by their actions they come off as hypocrites, every bit as bad as
   they say we American fans are? Storm talks about representing Canada and
   such, and how he'll keep putting guys away with his Canadian Crab (funny,
   since he had to cheat like hell, using a handpicked ref and bogus
   "Canadian Rules" to beat Mike Awesome ... by standing up first after
   going through a table). They start playing the Canadian anthem, but it's
   interrupted by the arrival of Commissioner Miller. He tells the crowd to
   "kiss my American black ass!" Madden is going through the roof. So ...
   Madden is from Canada? Whatever. Miller, amidst a promo in which he says
   "ass" about twenty times, orders Storm to defend the U.S. Title against
   Mike Awesome. This time, though, the Cat will be the referee.

   LANCE STORM vs. MIKE AWESOME
   Barely five seconds into the match Storm somehow has Awesome down for a
   pinfall, but the Cat is too slow to count. The crowd chants "U.S. sucks!"
   So they hate all U.S. wrestlers, right? Madden comes the most biased
   announcer EVER during this match. After a few minutes of forgettable
   action Awesome has Storm down for the count, but before the Cat can hit
   "3" he's attacked by Jacques Rougeau. The crowd pops, of course. Funny,
   but I can't recall a heel ever being cheered in the U.S. just because
   he's an American. Carl Oulette runs in too, and together he and Rougeau
   give Awesome the cannonball off the top. The Cat then comes back in
   (crowd: "BOO!"), but is himself attacked by ... Elix Skipper? Storm gets
   the pin, with the crowd not the least bit concerned that it took three
   men cheating to help secure the victory. Madden: "CANADA WINS! CANADA
   WINS! CANADA WINS! *My* country!" I think I'm going to puke.

 - Storm announces "Team Canada," giving Carl Oulette the Hardcore Title,
   and Elix Skipper the Cruiserweight Title. Wow, two "title changes." The
   Cat pops up, wielding a baseball bat, challenging Oulette and Skipper to
   defend their belts tonight. I had thought this was just an "homage" to
   the Bret Hart WWF angle in 1997, but now that WCW has formed it's own
   version of the Hart Foundation, well ...

HOUR TWO:

 - BOOKER T vs. JEFF JARRETT
   An okay match, but also an pointless one given the finish. Booker goes
   for his big kick but misses, screwing up his knee on the landing. Jarrett
   then hits the Stroke and has Booker covered for the pin, but he's yanked
   out of the ring by Goldberg. (Did they have to do this two matches in a
   row?) Goldberg destroys Jarrett, chucking him over the rail into the
   crowd. He then grabs a mic and tells Russo "you're NEXT!"

 - Pamela interviews Scott Steiner. I'm too distracted by the chainmail wig
   he's wearing to note a word that he says.

 - NORMAN SMILEY vs. CARL "THE RAVE" OULETTE
   "The Rave?" This match lasts forever, but the only moment that sticks
   with me is Smiley simulating anal sex when he does the Big Wiggle to
   Oulette. I'm talking serious pelvic bumping and grinding here. Smiley is
   set up on a table and Oulette goes up top. The ref pulls Smiley up, and
   Oulette puts himself through the table. Smiley falls back, inadvertently
   covering for the pin. Second Hardcore Title "change" of the show. What,
   didn't Storm want to job to Smiley? Smiley actually refuses to take the
   belt, handing it back to the ref. The ref forces him to take it anyway.

   The Cat is looking for someone to face Elix Skipper. The omnipotent
   camera pans over to Kwee Wee, giving an interested look. That Papaya
   chick has some nice berries.

 - Kevin Nash tells Pamela that Vince Russo should be drug tested. He can't
   figure out why Scott Steiner should get a second chance at being #1
   contender when the company won't give Scott Hall a second chance. I think
   he means TWENTY-SECOND chance.

 - JUVENTUD GUERRERA/REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. VAMPIRO/THE GREAT MUTA
   Konnan's pre-match spiel is every bit as tired as Road Dogg's in the WWF.
   Kronic come out for color commentary, but are attacked by the Harris
   Twins, allowing Konnan to do color instead. Quite a few nice moves done
   in this match. Five minutes or so in the lights go out. Here comes Sting,
   and he lays out Muta & Vampiro with his bat. Mysterio weakly drapes an
   arm and gets the pin, winning the Tag Team Titles. When Russo books title
   changes, he sure does them in bunches.

   Funny, but I saw this VERY FINISH announced on Dave Meltzer's Observer
   website Monday afternoon. But that can't be, because Dave lies to us,
   right? Well, that's what Bob Ryder says, anyway, because Meltzer is
   pissed at the Internet for killing off his newsletter, so he makes up
   stuff to fool us. Did I mention that Bob Ryder is a WCW employee?

 - Demon tells the Cat to sign him in a four-way with Vampiro, Muta and
   Sting. Shouldn't that be a three-on-one handicap match?

 - ELIX SKIPPER vs. KWEE WEE (w/ Papaya)
   I really like Papaya, but stand by my earlier statement regarding the
   adding of more women to WCW's already over-crowded female roster. Some
   okay wrestling here, but I find myself very distracted by Kwee Wee's
   FLAMBOYANTLY GAY ring attire. Skipper K.O.'s Kwee Wee while wearing a
   Canadian Football championship ("Gray Cup") ring. Afterwards Kwee Wee
   gets back up and does his "Mango" schtick.

   Sting is spotted on the move backstage, and the prescient camera pans
   away from him and focuses on a doorway long enough to see Goldberg
   emerge.

 - Madden challenges Mean Gene Okerlund to a match on Thunder. Thanks for
   the warning--I'll be sure to miss it.

 - STING vs. THE DEMON vs. VAMPIRO vs. THE GREAT MUTA
   Barely any match to speak of. Demon turns on Vampiro by hitting him with
   a kendo stick. Sting scores the submission with the Scorpion Deathlock on
   Vampiro. Vampiro & Muta regroup, knock out the Demon, and drag Sting off
   to the back. This whole segment lasted about three minutes.

 - Muta is going to stab Sting, or something, when the Demon comes in and
   saves Sting from further punishment. Take a look at the trainer slumped
   in the corner pretending to be knocked out.

 - Nash comes out to talk about Scott Hall, going so far as to actually
   pretend to interview a near-life sized cutout of him. Russo must want
   Hall back too, but it's all pointless, unless Brad Siegel changes him
   mind. Madden forgets Nash is a babyface and gushes about him. Nash calls
   out Booker T. Booker comes out, and almost immediately he and Nash are
   attacked by Scott Steiner, swinging a lead pipe.

   Goldberg appears on the big screen. He has Midajah, and hoists her up
   into a Jackknife, at which point they cut to a Nitro logo. Steiner rushes
   backstage, where he finds Midajah laying amidst the ruins of a broken
   table. Chainmail wig coming loose, Steiner storms off in search of
   Goldberg. 

 - This Wednesday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

I'm not kidding when I say this is one of the worst Nitro's I've ever 
seen--easily the worst in recent memory. The only positive to come out of 
it, despite Vince Russo's goofy-ass writing, is the fact that his top 
storyline has a slim chance of being a success.

Let's forget about all this "shoot" stuff. It's clear WCW knows they can't 
convince the Net fans that it's real, so why bother dissecting it anymore. 
Looking at it from the average fan viewpoint, what has happened is that 
Goldberg is a babyface again, and Russo is back on TV playing the heel. It's 
Steve Austin versus Vince McMahon all over again, and if done right it could 
pay off. Booker T is a lame duck champ, waiting to be picked off by either 
Nash, Steiner or Goldberg. The long term goal seems to be Goldberg versus 
Steiner, which is what the company was building to back before Russo 
returned and screwed everything up. Maybe Hulk Hogan is gone for good, and 
Goldberg has been plugged into whatever role Hogan was supposed to be in. Or 
maybe this is all wishful thinking on my part, and Russo's plan is to give 
Nash the title, then win it *himself* in a "New York Street Fight." With 
Russo, who can say?

I've no problem with a USA vs. Canada feud, I just thought it funny that the 
Canadian fans came off every bit as dumb as we American fans are.

There was actually some okay wresting in a few of the matches, but hardly 
enough to overshadow the show's many other faults.

Mark Madden achieved new heights of annoyance this week. Probably half of my 
disgust with this show came about because of him. Pull him from the mix and 
this show would have scored closer with me to the shows of the last few 
weeks (those being bad, but displaying slight glimmers of promise). This was 
one of the worst Nitro's since Russo's return in April, and Madden 
singlehandedly made it, for me, one of the least pleasurable viewing 
experiences I can remember in the nearly five years I've been doing this 
Recap.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Providence, Rhode Island.
Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler.

WWF RAW:

 - Opening, pyro, live crowd, WWF New York crowd, video package recapping
   SmackDown!

 - Kurt Angle is out to badmouth Triple H for abandoning him on SmackDown!
   He also rags on Triple H for never giving him a title shot when he had
   the belt. He points out that his first nine months in the WWF have been
   extraordinary, while Helmsley's first nine months in the WWF ... he was
   fighting in "hog pen matches" and such. Ouch! Angle says it pains him to
   see his friend Stephanie married to such a loser. Triple H comes out, and
   the only thing that keeps the two from going at it is the timely
   appearance of Shane McMahon. Shane begs the two to get on the same page.
   He assures each that the other is an okay guy.
 
   Commissioner Mick Foley comes out. He agrees with Shane about Triple and
   Angle needing to team up, because they'll be facing the Dudley Boyz and
   the Rock tonight. Shane says that's not fair. Foley continues, adding
   Shane to the match as well. And if Triple H or Angle walk out, they're
   out of the three-way main event at SummerSlam.

   Chris Benoit has arrived, but seems to be having some trouble getting his
   dressing room door to open. Suddenly it does, and out comes Chris
   Jericho. Officials rush in to break up the fight.

 - Benoit blows off Shane while trying to find Jericho. He doesn't care that
   he's facing the Undertaker tonight.

 - Taka Michinoku & Sho Funaki apologize to the APA for bouncing a check (on
   Sunday Night Heat). They offer cash, and beer at a local bar.

 - STEVE BLACKMAN/EDDIE GUERRERO (w/ Chyna) vs. T&A (w/ Trish Stratus)
   A decent match, but too short to praise any more than that. Eddie makes
   Test & Albert look like an awesome team. He hits Albert with a drop-kick
   off the top which sends Albert completely out of the ring. Albert
   retrieves a kendo stick from under the apron (from Blackman's gym bag),
   and nails Blackman. Test covers for the pin.

   Kurt Angle is waiting outside with an umbrella for Stephanie to arrive.
   She does, and Angle plays the gentleman, giving her the umbrella,
   carrying her bag, etc. Triple H, having one of those magical monitors
   where he can see an uninterrupted feed of this (and not himself when we
   at home see him), goes into a slow burn.

 - Triple H confronts Stephanie about her "friend" Kurt, who just happens to
   be waiting for her outside, and who she left *his* side to check on last
   Thursday, leading to Triple H being chokeslammed by the Undertaker and
   Rock Bottomed by the Rock. Stephanie, hurtly, suggests that maybe she
   shouldn't be there. Triple H thinks that's a good idea.

 - Steven Richards leads the RTC to the ring. He says there are groups out
   there working, like the Right To Censor, to protect the children of
   America. Their targets this week are the Hardy Boyz & Lita, who Richards
   fears will be emulated by children. They show a picture of Lita on the
   Titan-Tron, zooming in on the bit of her underwear which sticks up above
   the waistline of her jeans. If Mark Madden were here he'd say "yes,
   Steven Richards is a great man! He's absolutely right, we do need someone
   to protect our children!" He'd then eat a plate of donuts, claim he
   banged Lita, and challenge Michael Cole to a match.

   THE HARDY BOYZ/LITA vs. BULL BUCHANAN/THE GOODFATHER (w/ Steven Richards)
   Back-and-forth, until Lita tags herself in. She hits the Goodfather with
   a moonsault kick, then does a plancha off the top to the floor, leveling
   Buchanan. Richards then catches her with the Superkick. Shoved back into
   the ring, the Goodfather gives her a brutal shoulderbreaker and covers
   for the pin.

   In come Edge & Christian, intent on waffling her between two chairs like
   they did to Jeff Hardy. Matt Hardy makes the save, but he eats a Tomikaze
   onto a chair from Christian for his efforts.

   Cut to the "Friendly Tap," where the cameraman stuck out in the rain
   films a random car pulling into the lot. Inside, Bradshaw balks at the
   idea of drinking sake, and orders a round of beer (and Kamikazes for Taka
   & Funaki). Is this the bar owned by WWF referee Tim White?

   Stephanie is leaving, she tells Shane amidst tears.

 - Edge & Christian hit the ring. They show a clip of the beating they took
   on SmackDown! at the hands of the Dudley & Hardy Boyz. They say they're
   engaging in a sit-down strike until Commissioner Foley comes out and does
   something about it. Foley comes out, and says he can guarantee that at
   SummerSlam, neither the Dudleyz nor Hardyz will be able to interfere in
   Edge & Christian's match with tables and ladders. The Tag Champs are
   happy, until Foley explains it's because Edge & Christian will be in a
   match WITH the Dudleyz and Hardyz--a "TLC Match" ("Tables, Ladders &
   Chairs"). Foley gets a "Tables, Ladders & Chairs--oh my!" chant going,
   which the crowd instantly picks up on.

   Triple H doesn't care that Stephanie left. He says this thing between him
   and Angle is gonna get settled tonight. Shane assures him everything can
   be worked out.

   That maniac the Undertaker is roaring through the back on his motorcycle.

 - Shane, on his way through the back with Benoit, gives Edge & Christian
   the rest of the night off.

WWF WAR ZONE:

 - THE UNDERTAKER vs. CHRIS BENOIT
   The Undertaker actually seems fired up this week, and somewhat mobile, so
   the match comes off pretty well. Benoit gets in a lot of offense, but the
   Taker is just about to finish him off with a powerbomb when Shane O'Mac
   strikes, with a steel chair. Benoit applies the Crippler Crossface as the
   ref calls for the DQ. *BOOM!*--here comes Kane, and Shane & Benoit bid a
   hasty retreat. Kane checks out his brother--then grabs him by the throat
   and chokeslams him! Whoa! A second chokeslam sends the Undertaker
   crashing through the corner of the ring (they must have missed the
   trapdoor or whatever the first time). The Undertaker dead, Kane climbs
   upon his brother's motorcycle and roars up the ramp. Well, I'd seen it
   coming for months, but not tonight. It makes no sense, just as the Big
   Show's recent turn made no sense, so maybe if you consistently make no
   sense in the same way ... it makes sense.

   I think I just described WCW.

 - Michael Cole is at the Democratic National Convention.

 - The Undertaker, splayed out in the back, vows revenge on Kane.

 - Shane, chuckling over what happened to the Undertaker, tells Angle he
   won't stand for him interfering in Stephanie & Triple H's marriage. Angle
   asks Shane if he's questioning his integrity?

 - A few locals at the bar seem to have a problem with Taka & Funaki. The
   Acolytes step in to protect their new buddies.

 - WWF officials are still working to repair the ring.

 - TAZZ vs. CRASH
   Lawler has been barred from ringside by Commissioner Foley. Tazz, when he
   comes out, demands to know where Lawler is. Tazz wins quickly with the
   Tazzmission. He picks up where he left off, chewing out JR. Tazz takes
   JR's hat, and when Ross stands up Tazz shoves him down. Out comes Lawler,
   and he and Tazz go at it. Officials pull the two apart.

   Joe tells Angle that he's heard someone threw out a challenge to meet him
   in the parking lot in a half hour.

 - ROAD DOGG/X-PAC vs. RIKISHI
   The match goes back-and-forth, Rikishi sometimes dominating, the D-X guys
   sometimes dominating. Ross calls the buttsplash the "Sultan of Squat."
   I'm not sure if that's an inside joke or not. Rikishi ends up giving Road
   Dogg the stinkface and X-Pac is caught laughing at the Dogg's
   predicament. Man, talk about an extended stinkface--lasts half a minute!
   The Dogg and X-Pac end up battling back, and covering for a double pin
   (allowable in this handicap match).   

   Another update from the DNC. Linda McMahon announces that 10,000 people
   have registered to vote on the WWFvote.com site, and at live events,
   since last week. The Rock and Chyna will be at the DNC on Wednesday.

   Joe tells Triple H that there's someone who wants to see him in the
   parking lot in 10 minutes. Triple H thinks it's Stephanie. Too bad he
   wasn't watching the monitor when Joe set Angle up earlier.

 - A look at the four "TV Guide" covers with the Kat, Chris Jericho, Kurt
   Angle and Rikishi on them.

 - CHRIS JERICHO vs. VAL VENIS (w/ Trish Stratus)
   Jericho actually dominates most of this match, and looks set to capture
   the Intercontinental Title after nailing the Lionsault, when Chris Benoit
   suddenly runs in, drawing a DQ. Jericho quickly gets the best of Benoit,
   slapping him in the Walls of Jericho. Venis makes the save. Benoit then
   drops Jericho across the ropes and lays in some boots. Referees have a
   hard time pulling him off. Benoit eventually stops his assault, teases an
   exit, then comes back in and slaps on the Crippler Crossface.

   Triple H and Angle are just about to go at it when the two are separated
   by a limo pulling up. They cut to commercial, the question of who is in
   the limo lingering in the air.

 - Triple H and Angle are reportedly in the limo.

 - Back to the "Friendly Tap." Taka & Funaki are quite drunk, Funaki even
   blowing chunks. The Acolytes destroy them, and some of the bar in the
   process.

 - Al Snow, holding court at WWF New York, interviews some fans.

 - The Undertaker has gone to the hospital. I wouldn't worry ... after all,
   he did recover from that recent crippling knee injury in a week.

 - Triple H and Angle exit the limo, looking like they've just taken a trip
   to the woodshed. They're followed by Vince McMahon! Vince says when his
   baby girl Stephanie calls him up crying, that's when he has to step in.
   They better shape up, or they'll be gone from the WWF. Huge crowd
   reaction there when Vince appeared.

   The Dudleyz are NEXT!

 - THE ROCK/THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. TRIPLE H/KURT ANGLE/SHANE MCMAHON
   The crowd's going nuts when the Dudleyz, late in the match, set up a
   table in the aisle. In the ring, Shane nails the Rock from behind. The
   Rock no-sells it, grabs him, and tosses him out to the waiting Dudleyz.
   (The ref, by the way, is down from a scoop slam Buh Buh Ray gave Triple
   H--Helmsley's boot catching the ref in the head.) Shane is set up for a
   powerbomb through the table, but here comes Edge & Christian. Buh Buh Ray
   & D-Von are taken out with chair shots--Buh Buh eating the chair sandwich
   like Jeff Hardy did a few shows back. The Rock goes after the Tag Champs,
   but winds up blindsided by Shane, and is given a Pedigree in the ring by
   Triple H. The show ends with Triple H, Shane & Angle's arms raised, as
   fans salute the downer, non-finish by pelting the ring with garbage.

 - This Thursday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

The disappointing finish aside, this was a good show. The matches were just 
"eh," but the storylines did well in building to SummerSlam, with a few 
minor surprises thrown in to keep things interesting. This show, like the 
one last week, could have been truly great if only the matches had amounted 
to more than they did.

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The Bottom Line:

Going back to the topic of "shoots" for probably (hopefully) the last time, 
the question I have about the whole approach is how do you convince 
wrestling fans that all this supposedly "real" stuff they're seeing, or 
going to see, is any better than the "fake" wrestling we fans have come to 
know and love?

Looking back at the collapse of WCW, it wasn't conventional booking which 
killed the company. It was ego's running wild. It was Eric Bischoff running 
out of ideas, and being distracted by celebrities, Hollywood deals, and a 
Ric Flair lawsuit. It was Kevin Nash getting the book and putting himself 
over Goldberg. It was all that lame sh*t Nash booked throughout the first 
half of 1999. It was Bill Busch coming in and not knowing his ass from a 
hole in the ground. It was Hulk Hogan manipulating things behind the scenes. 
It was Goldberg letting a minor injury be his excuse to sit out for months. 
It was all the wrong people being pushed, which killed lockerroom morale, 
and eliminated quality wrestling matches. It was twenty-three straight weeks 
of Nitro with run-ins during the main event. It was Kevin Sullivan trying to 
book shows with Sid Vicious as his top babyface. It was WCW gambling, and 
losing, the Radicalz to the WWF. It was Vince Russo coming in and repeatedly 
trying to expand his small area of expertise into a style which would carry 
an entire wrestling company.

It wasn't conventional booking which killed WCW ... it was BAD conventional 
booking which killed WCW.

There's no evidence that it couldn't again carry WCW. They only needed a few 
fresh ideas to put them on top of the WWF in 1996. The WWF did the same in 
coming back in 1998. The WWF has done nothing but conventional booking since 
Vince Russo left, and they're still doing as well as they did then.

All these angles trying to convince people that it's "real" ... where's the 
proof that it will work? The Montreal Screwjob? Maybe I'm misremembering it, 
but that isn't exactly something that played out on TV, nor was it a work 
the WWF desperately tried to convince fans was real. In all the "shoot" and 
"real" things the WWF has done since then, I can't recall an instance where 
the WWF tried to fool so-called "smart" fans into thinking it was real. You 
use the "shoot" to enhance the work, not in place of it.

That's what Vince Russo didn't seem to get, until this week. WCW isn't even 
trying to make us think what Goldberg did at New Blood Rising was real. 
Instead they're trying to convince the average fans, and whether that is 
worth the time or not, the underlying storyline is simple enough that it 
will get over, even if the fans never believe for a minute that what they're 
seeing is real. Goldberg versus Steiner, or Goldberg versus Russo ... they 
get it.

Which brings us back to our question: how do you convince the fans the 
"shoot" is better than the "work?"

People watch wrestling because they like to see human beings give and take 
inhuman amounts of punishment. They want to see what would otherwise be 
humanly impossible in a real fight. That's why karate fights in movies last 
five minutes, and not five seconds like they do in real life. The best 
boxing matches are always the ones that go the distance, and leave the 
competitors looking like bloody messes.

Compare pro wrestling to boxing, which isn't exactly nipping at wrestling's 
heels in TV ratings or PPV buyrates (except for the biggest bouts), or mixed 
martial arts like the UFC, which has nearly zero TV presence, and abysmal 
buyrates because of limited availability on PPV.

People like wrestling BECAUSE it's fake, not in spite of it.

I look at Goldberg walking out of the three-way at New Blood Rising, and ask 
myself "is that better than if they had just gone ahead with the match?" Or 
the screwjob on Hogan which led to Booker T versus Jeff Jarrett, and I 
wonder what about that was more effective than simply pulling Hogan from TV 
in May and booking that match to begin with?

If you want to make things seem more real, then that's all well and good. 
At least the story is still being told, whether anyone believes it or not. 
But to have the question of it being real or not replacing the actual story, 
that's where WCW has yet to show any results.

This week WCW moved on to something that might work, by taking a simple 
wrestling angle and spicing it up by acting like it's real. I hope that was 
their intention ... otherwise it means WCW has become so inept pretending to 
be "real" that they only just managed to luck onto an angle that might work.

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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by 
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those 
of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how 
to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.

Volume One, Number August 14th of the "Monday Night Recap", 248, 2000.