Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #236
May 22nd, 2000

The Opening Word:

WCW saw their ratings last Monday take an ever-so-slight upwards bump. Seems 
that making Ric Flair the focus of the promotion was well received. WCW's 
next move? Have Flair suffer a "heart attack" on Thunder and be stripped of 
the title, thus removing him from television.

Okay, so that's not entirely accurate. First, it wasn't a heart attack, but 
a temporary bout of dizziness caused by a preexisting inner-ear condition. 
Or a brain aneurysm. Depends on who you ask. And whether it was real or a 
closely guarded work is a matter of debate, but also irrelevant since WCW 
has decided to make an angle of it anyway. And finally, WCW didn't strip 
Flair of the title yet. That'll happen tonight.

It's just amazing how quickly success is punished in this company. The last 
five years of WCW history are littered with the carcasses of those who dared 
to outshine Hulk Hogan. Last week Hogan was involved in the lowest rated 
segment of the entire show--Flair, the highest. And now this week Flair will 
be written out of the program. Funny how that works, isn't it? Just bad luck 
on Flair's part, or something deeper, more sinister, and entirely all too 
common as Hogan continues to wield power behind the scenes?

Seemingly a million miles away from what WCW is right now, the WWF delivered 
another of many good PPV's this year, with a main event which is already the 
front-runner for Match of the Year. There's no way the Rock nor Triple H 
should have been able to do it, but they did: they went 60 minutes with no 
gimmicks, no endless restholds, no garbage, and one of the best displays of 
wrestling psychology in recent memory.

Well ... almost 60 minutes. More like 58, actually. The last few minutes the 
overbooking kicked in, and it did take away somewhat from what was otherwise 
a tremendous, classic match. First we had Vince & Shane McMahon try to 
interfere, but they were intercepted by special referee Shawn Michaels. Then 
the inevitable ref bump took place, as Shawn was accidentally knocked off 
the apron by the Rock. With Shawn down, in came X-Pac & Road Dogg. Then, 
with things looking bleak for the Rock, Judgment Day arrived in full as the 
Undertaker roared to the ring on a motorcycle. The Undertaker cleared house 
and, with mere seconds remaining in the match, delivered a DQ-drawing 
chokeslam to Triple H. A Tombstone Piledriver followed, at which point Shawn 
Michaels officially declared the DQ, giving Triple H a 6-to-5 falls lead, 
the win, and the WWF Championship. An error in the timing would lead to the 
WWF having to declare the finish controversial, questioning whether Michaels 
actually saw the chokeslam which took place during the match, or if he just 
DQ'ed the Rock for the Undertaker's Tombstone, which happened after time had 
expired. Bad timing or not, the finish worked, and Triple H was once again 
the WWF Champion. The Undertaker was back. And the WWF had delivered a main 
event just shy of perfect. The Rock, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Jim Ross & 
Jerry Lawler on commentary, and the bookers of the match all deserve praise 
for putting together an excellent, memorable match.

This week sees the two Monday night shows running unopposed, with Nitro on 
an hour earlier due to NBA Playoff coverage on TNT. WCW has the Ric Flair 
situation to deal with, as they continue building towards the Great American 
Bash PPV. The WWF, coming off Judgment Day, has a few loose ends to tie up, 
and begins its own march to their next PPV, the King of the Ring.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson & Mark Madden.

HOUR ONE:

 - Thunder clips.

 - A hearse pulls up, followed by a limo bearing Vince Russo, David Flair
   and others. Russo is acting all emotional about the "death" of Ric
   Flair's career. Maybe I'm reaching here, but is it in the best of taste
   to do all this funeral stuff on the eve of the one year anniversary of
   Owen Hart's death?

 - ERNEST MILLER vs. BOOKER T.
   Mark Madden talks about the rules being relaxed in WCW, which is kind of
   funny when you take into account the many DQ finishes there have been the
   last few weeks. The reason Madden mentions it becomes obvious when Sean
   Stasiak runs in and the ref lets it go. This was a "Weapons Match",
   meaning until Stasiak ran in the whole thing had been Miller and Booker
   hitting each other with sticks. Booker takes out Stasiak with a chair,
   but Miller does a nice cartwheel kick to the chair, which knocks Booker
   out. Miller gets the pin. Ugly match. The Misfits in Action then run in.
   Out comes Eric Bischoff and Kimberly to the stage. For no reason Bischoff
   mentions his trip to California, and says he's a phone call away from
   "changing the face of the New Blood and WCW forever!" He then offers the
   MIA a spot in the New Blood. They huddle, then tell Bischoff to kiss
   their ass, as Major Guns pulls down her shorts.

   Hogan's beat-up black Dodge Charger disgorges several Millionaire's Club
   members. When Kevin Nash is mentioned as being late, Sting replies
   "that's his gimmick!" (I thought his gimmick was his lame jokes and
   deteriorated knee cartilage?)

 - Bischoff fires Booker T. and the MIA. (Again?)

 - A gigantic replica of Ric Flair's nose lies in state in a coffin, along
   with his stolen robe. Russo exhibits much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
   Mourners such as Stasiak and Shane Douglas look on. Daffney and Crowbar
   are playing tug-of-war with the Cruiserweight belt.

 - Terry Taylor and Reid Flair pull up outside.

 - CROWBAR vs. DAFFNEY
   This is to crown an undisputed Cruiserweight Champion. They start off
   with some thumb wrestling, then rock-paper-scissors, until the referee
   orders them to lock up. My brother and I used to do pretend wrestling
   matches in our backyard. They looked an awful lot like this match
   (emphasis on "awful"). The difference is my brother and I would never do
   those matches in front of anyone, much less a few thousand people in the
   arena (and a couple hundred more watching on TV). Miss Hancock comes out
   again and does nothing. Daffney gives Crowbar a wedgie, which Madden
   misidentifies as an "atomic wedgie" (an "atomic wedgie" is where you get
   the waistband of the shorts completely over their head). Chris Candido
   and Tammy Sytch eventually stroll in. Tammy can barely walk in the high
   heel shoes she's wearing, and her yard-wide ass is hanging out. The
   camera actually starts avoiding her there's so much ass on display, and
   her boobs are on the verge of popping out as well. Candido lays out
   Crowbar. Then, as Daffney is checking on her fallen friend, the ref does
   a three count, making Daffney the Cruiserweight Champion. Oh, but for the
   days of legitimate Cruiserweight Champions ... like Madusa and Oklahoma.

   Kid Cam catches Torrie Wilson giving Horace Hogan a full body massage.
   Russo's really outdoing himself smut-wise this week.

 - The MIA want to know why Booker's leaving? Umm ... because they were all
   fired, maybe? Booker says he has a plan, which will be unveiled next
   week. Why not hold up a can of Surge too? In the background we see Norman
   Smiley and Ralphus washing cars. How many cars would they have to wash to
   cover their expenses from traveling to this week's show from wherever
   Thunder was last week?

 - Billy Kidman is pissed that Torrie is with Horace. Bischoff plays
   knucklehead, unable to understand why Kidman is upset. Kidman tracks down
   Horace and starts pounding on him. Bischoff slugs a nearby referee, pulls
   his shirt off, and tosses it to Torrie, telling her to put it on.

 - BILLY KIDMAN vs. HORACE HOGAN
   Bischoff, sitting in on color commentary, says this has something to do
   with internal politics. Seems to me the smart thing to do would be for
   Bischoff to AVOID tensions in the New Blood. Is Bischoff favoring one man
   over the other here? If so then why doesn't he act on it? If not, then
   why isn't he working to settle the two down? I assume the story here is
   that Bischoff used Torrie to get Horace to turn on Hulk Hogan, but at the
   cost of angering Kidman. Okay, so then what's the next chapter of the
   story? Are they going to dump Kidman, turning him babyface? And where
   does Torrie getting kissed by Hogan--and liking it--fit into things? I
   don't think WCW even knows. The match just goes through the motions until
   Hogan comes in. He puts Kidman and Horace through a table, then tells
   Torrie to count the pin (Kidman is on top). Hogan takes the mic and tells
   Bischoff he doesn't care who he gets to be the special referee for his
   match against Kidman at the PPV. Apparently this big surprise Bischoff,
   Russo and WCW have been working on--the big secret they've hinted
   about--is some kind of special referee in this match. Yawn.

   David doesn't want his father's Rolex.

   Terry Taylor and Reid Flair have managed to walk about 100 feet since we
   last saw them.

 - The Filthy Animals pull up in Eddie Guerrero's Latino Heat lowrider.
   Norman & Ralphus offer to wash it. Meanwhile, inside the building, a
   lightbulb goes off over the head of Captain Boner.

 - Terry Funk, resplendent in his tuxedo, bandanna and cowboy boots, makes
   his way to the ring. Funk launches into his big announcement, which WCW
   had hyped over the weekend. Funk talks about all the relatives he'd
   called and told to watch the show. Funk's daughter looks on at ringside.
   Watching in the back, and feeling he's rambling or something, Bischoff
   dispatches a few of the boys out to hurry him up. Shane Douglas comes out
   and orders Funk to speed it up a bit. Funk goes ahead and announces ...
   that he's a grandfather. It was an 8 pound 1 ounce baby boy. Douglas
   tells Funk to say what they all came for, that he's going to retire. Funk
   agrees that a grandpa like him shouldn't be in the ring, and that he
   talked to WCW head honcho Brad Siegel about that. Funk will retire on
   June 1st ... of 2001. Funk re-signed for another year. Douglas goes
   ballistic and he and Candido, Miller and Stasiak attack. Funk's daughter
   can't stand to see her father being beaten, and tries to help, sort of,
   but Tammy Sytch holds her back, sort of. I should note that this time
   Tammy is barefoot, and someone made her put more underwear on! Funk, on
   the mic, was great, but everything else in this segment came off clumsy
   and devoid the passion it was supposed to have.

   Ralphus is distracted by the MIA, allowing Major Stash to switch the
   sudsy water bucket with ... paint?

   The Wall ... Mike Awesome ... next.

 - THE WALL vs. MIKE AWESOME
   They show a bit of the Kanyon interview from last week. It really is
   funny to see Kanyon's head moving around like that, when it should be
   completely immobile in that halo collar. Awesome comes out in a
   wheelchair, wearing a halo brace of his own. Funny sight gag, but by the
   time he reaches the ring to do a promo the joke's already run its course.
   That's the problem with trying to stretch out a sight gag. Ya hear me,
   Russo?! This is an "Ambulance/Tables match" and it lasts barely a minute.
   Awesome backdrops the Wall over the top rope, sending him through a
   table, winning the match. Why even have the ambulance stipulation if all
   you had to do was put a guy through a table? WCW's had an "Ambulance
   Match" on every show for the last two weeks, and will probably have more
   before the PPV. Then they'll wonder why nobody is excited about the
   "Ambulance Match" between Awesome and Diamond Dallas Page at the PPV.
   Post-match the Wall gets right up, no-selling the drop through the table.
   He attacks Awesome. Here comes Shane Douglas. He and Awesome beat on the
   Wall all the way to the back. They're about to put him in an ambulance
   when DDP jumps out. Awesome is dumped into the ambulance, which pulls
   away. Douglas and Wall, meanwhile, continue to brawl.

   Cut to the Flair casket being wheeled through the back. Both Awesome and
   Douglas, through the miracle of teleportation and matter rearrangement,
   have showered, changed their clothes, and joined in on the funeral
   procession. Unreal. Someone complains about the casket being heavy. I
   wonder why that is.

HOUR TWO:

 - Neither Ralphus nor Smiley seem to realize that's white paint they're
   smearing on the hood of the car.

 - Vince Russo leads the procession pushing the casket to the ring. Douglas
   and Awesome are absent, of course. Is that the Colorado Kid working R & B
   Security? Once everything is set Russo has a clip played of Flair
   collapsing on Thunder. Scott Hudson expresses his disgust, which is how
   we fans should feel too, yet if anyone expressed such disgust WCW would
   accuse you of being a WWF mark. (Remember what I wrote last fall about
   the WWF acknowledging when they offend people, and WCW never admitting
   when they do?) The long and short of all this is Flair is stripped of the
   WCW Title, and the belt is given back to Jeff Jarrett. Then why did they
   bother ... never mind. Russo then goes to put Flair's Rolex in the
   casket, but a hand bursts up through the bottom. You all did see that
   coming, right? It's Kevin Nash, which I was actually surprised about ...
   I assumed it would be Flair. Nash lays everyone out and leaves with the
   title belt.

 - Russo brushes off that new blonde interview chick to demand that Nash
   return Jarrett's belt, or he'll send Jarrett after him. Shouldn't an
   ultimatum have a, you know, REAL THREAT attached to it?

 - Scott Steiner comes out with three ho's and delights the Michigan crowd
   with his filthy sayings.

   SCOTT STEINER vs. RICK STEINER
   Steiner has come up with a new gimmick match called the Asylum. (Probably
   "Assylum", knowing Russo.) It's a circular, domed cage that fits inside
   the ring. There's no door--the only way you can enter or exit is by
   having the cage raised. It isn't a very imposing structure, as its small
   size limits the movement of the wrestlers, and the chain-link wall gives
   like a trampoline when one is thrown against it. After a couple minutes
   of not-much-action Tank Abbott comes out. Correction ... "Tankberg". Yes,
   that's what they're calling him, having completely co-opted the Gillberg
   imitation of Goldberg's gimmick. Tankberg tries to enter the cage with a
   pair of bolt cutters, but there's no door to open, and it would take
   forever to cut a large enough hole to get in. So Tankberg goes over to
   referee Mickey Jay, wallops him, and takes the control used to raise and
   lower the cage. Well, so much for that gimmick. Tank and Rick beat on
   Scott until Kevin Nash makes the save.

   Russo and Jarrett are looking on via monitor in the back.

 - "I'm waiting to interview Kevin Nash!" exclaims the blonde interviewer,
   staring dumbly into the camera. Err-umm-okay. Is that crickets chirping,
   or Nash's bad knees squeaking? Nash offers to face Jarrett in a match
   tonight--winner is WCW Champion. Sure, why not.

 - Taylor and Reid have gotten maybe another 50 feet into the building.

 - CHUCK PALUMBO (w/ Liz) vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE
   Finally, nearly three-quarters into the show, we get what looks like a
   normal match. Oops--scratch that. Kimberly comes out and whacks Liz with
   a bat. Mike Awesome then comes in through the crowd and nails DDP with
   the halo (as the ref is checking out Liz). Palumbo puts DDP in the
   Torture Rack, earning the win. Wow, DDP--*snicker*--gave him "the rub".
   *Snort!* Lex Luger comes out for the save, but gets sidetracked checking
   on Liz. By the time he does come into the ring Palumbo bashes him in the
   face with that strength-thingy that Luger always used to carry. You know,
   that coiled spring-thing that you bend. Like I know what it's called. Or
   like you care. Madden exclaims Luger's face crunched like a potato chip.
   Well, he should know. Luger is wheeled out with a towel over his face.

   Terry Taylor ... Reid Flair ... they've been walking for a good hour by
   now.

 - Luger's loaded into an ambulance, with lots of "blood" seeping out from
   beneath the towel for effect. Liz, only just now getting her bearings
   backstage (still held captive by Palumbo & Kimberly), wants to know what
   they did to Lex.

 - Taylor and Reid Flair FINALLY reach the ring. "David*mumble-mumble*sayto
   you." Terry tells him to speak up. "Davidcomeoutthere'ssomethingIneedto
   saytoyou." David Flair and Daffney come out. Daffney has one of those old
   Wrestling Buddies--Ric Flair, I guess. Reid apologizes for anything he,
   his mother or sister may have said or done to David. David screams about
   being in Ric's shadow. Daffney then smashes another of those Statue of
   Liberty's over Taylor's head. Reid takes David down with some wrestling
   (I say that loosely), but David drops Reid and slaps on the Figure Four.
   Doug Dellinger's crack security squad makes the save. This show has
   degenerated to the point where YOU and your neighbors could put on a
   better program with a camcorder, some hanging lanterns, and a few
   mattresses laid out in your backyard.

 - VAMPIRO vs. HULK HOGAN
   Mark Madden gives another of those wonderful shots at the competition,
   talking about "phony DQ's" and "cluster finishes" not being present in
   WCW. Well, maybe not the DQ's, this week, but EVERY match on this show
   thus far has had a run-in. Add another one with this match, as Kidman
   runs in to help Vampiro score a tainted, meaningless pin on Hogan.
   Vampiro starts emptying a can of gas, but Sting comes in to save Hogan
   from frying. I think they even threw in a crow on the Turner-Tron to
   make this all spooky or something.

 - The Filthy Animals, who apparently drove all the way to Grand Rapids just
   to take part in this angle, come out to see their car trashed by Norman &
   Ralphus. They lay the two losers out, only to be chased off by the MIA.
   Ralphus is still down, so Majors Guns is ordered to give mouth-to-mouth.
   He tries to slip her the tongue. In case you hadn't noticed, the Filthy
   Animals are now feuding with the MIA. Why? Because, if the story is to be
   believed, Kevin Nash refused to work a program with the Animals because
   he felt they, being small guys, made him look bad.

 - JEFF JARRETT vs. KEVIN NASH
   Russo knocks out the ref and takes over that position for himself. He
   refuses to count any pinfalls for Nash. He also stops counting when ever
   Nash kicks out of a pin attempt, which makes no sense. Russo finally
   takes Nash out with a spray of Mace to the eyes. Here comes Scott
   Steiner. More Mace from Russo, and Steiner is handcuffed to the ropes.
   Nash, somehow overcoming the effects of the Mace, gets Jarrett down and
   also grabs Russo by the neck, forcing him to make a count. Jarrett kicks
   out at two, and again I wonder why Nash doesn't just force Russo to
   count to three anyway. Russo slips out and hides behind his security.
   Nash mows through them. Grabbing Russo he teases a powerbomb on the
   floor. Camera angle switch as the MYSTERIOUS RED (NOT-BLOOD) LIQUID drops
   from the ceiling ... pretty much missing Nash completely. Jarrett, who
   was unable to put Nash down with a chair, nor with his title belt, hits
   Nash with a guitar, which is obviously more powerful than those metal
   objects. Nash goes down and Jarrett covers for the pin, winning the WCW
   Title for the third time in, what, nine weeks? Eric Bischoff comes out to
   do his Brother Love routine, and Jarrett closes out the show telling us
   he's the Chosen One and--THANK GOD RAW'S ON!!!

 - This Wednesday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

I don't know if I can put into words how bad this show was. Well, in 
addition to the many words I used above, that is. Running unopposed, yet 
faced with a disadvantage of starting an hour before most fans usually tune 
in, you'd think WCW would have expended some extra effort in making this 
show worthwhile. Instead they went the opposite direction, hyping a Terry 
Funk announcement that went nowhere, and a funeral skit which got old before 
they pushed the casket to ringside. The comedy wasn't funny and the drama 
wasn't dramatic. Not much wrestling to speak of either. The only thing that 
worked, if you can say that, was the T&A. WCW employs some very attractive 
women, and they're doing a good job of trotting them out there in the 
flimsiest of outfits and pretenses.

Where was the Goldberg monster truck this week?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana.
Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler.

WWF RAW:

 - Vince McMahon bounces to the ring. He's pleased as punch over the turn of
   events at Judgment Day. The McMahon-Helmsley Faction was judged, says
   Vince, and they all came out on top. He says last night lead to one of
   the biggest celebration parties he's ever thrown, and because of that the
   other various Faction members might be late in arriving. He brags about
   their various victories, says that if The Undertaker shows up he'll be
   arrested by marshals, and closes out the segment saying the Rock, if and
   when he shows up, with face Triple H, Road Dogg, X-Pac and Shane McMahon
   in a four-on-one handicap match.

   Ross and Lawler discuss the finish at the PPV. Ross takes the stance that
   referee Shawn Michaels saw the Undertaker chokeslam that happened before
   time expired, and DQ'ed the Rock because of it. Lawler argues that Shawn
   missed the chokeslam, and actually DQ'ed the Rock because of the
   Undertaker's Tombstone Piledriver, which came *after* time had expired.
   As fans we're supposed to side with Ross, but don't look for either to
   be established as gospel anytime soon, since accepting Lawler's side of
   the story would mean a heel turn for Michaels. As the WWF would say, "buy
   the PPV and judge for yourself!"

   Vince has made it backstage, and there's the Rock coming up fast behind
   him! Down goes the WWF Chairman. The Rock sends him into a metal door. He
   grabs a garbage can lid and, unable to decide whether he should use the
   concave or convex side, tosses it aside in favor of the garbage can
   itself! The Rock tosses Vince into his limo, and orders the driver to
   haul his ass out of there. Vince sticks his head out the window for one
   last protest. Rock waffles him with a garbage can lid for his troubles.
   Funny stuff ... shades of the Austin hospital beating.

 - Rock is still in the parking area waiting for the others to arrive.

 - THE HARDY BOYZ vs. T & A (w/ Trish Stratus)
   Trish makes fun of the Hardyz because the girls all like them. She gets
   physically involved in the match too, with the finish seeing Test hit the
   big elbow off the top on Jeff Hardy, and Albert getting the pin.

   The Rock is still waiting.

 - This being Indianapolis there are racecar drivers all over the place.

 - EDDIE GUERRERO (w/ Chyna) vs. D-LO BROWN
   I'll admit the WWF has given D-Lo nothing to do the last several months,
   but consider this: had D-Lo jumped to WCW when it was rumored, he'd
   probably be a part of the MIA now, renamed "Private Parts". Is that
   REALLY better than feuding with the Godfather? Speaking of whom, the
   Godfather and his Ho's come out to distract D-Lo, allowing Guerrero to
   roll him up for the pin. The Godfather adds some punishment post-match.

   A limo pulls up, carrying Road Dogg, X-Pac and Tori. Gerald Brisco tries
   to warn them about what the Rock is up to, but they ignore him, just long
   enough for the Rock to strike from behind, swing a big metal bar. The
   two D-X members are tossed and locked inside a WWF semi trailer.

 - EDGE/CHRISTIAN/KURT ANGLE vs. TOO COOL/RIKISHI PHATU
   This is a rematch from the PPV. Before the match the heels bust out a
   photography pose making fun of Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight
   (choking one of his players). The flashbulbs go off and once again it's
   clear that pretty soon the fans are going to turn these guys face on the
   WWF, just as they did with the Dudleyz and Eddie Guerrero. The match
   quickly builds to Scotty Too Hotty setting up the Worm, but Edge stops it
   with a belt shot. Angle then cradles Scotty for the pin.

   The Rock awaits his next victim. Obviously he was watching all those
   "Stone Cold" RAW's along with the rest of us.

 - Linda McMahon and Kane made a business magazine cover. Kane ... Kane ...
   that name sounds familiar ...

 - Now Shane arrives, and he blows off Brisco worse than the others did.
   Shane is quickly out to the ring, where he spends a few minutes making
   fun of the Big Show, who he put in the hospital. Shane's new nickname is
   now "The Giant Killer". Out comes the Rock. Shane begs off, but the Rock
   just slugs him, and chases him out through the crowd.

 - CHRIS BENOIT vs. VAL VENIS
   Val foregoes his usual pre-match routine to get right down to business.
   A really nice match here, though as is usually the case with good
   wrestling matches the WWF crowd starts to nod off. Five or six minutes in
   Val goes up top for the Money Shot, but Benoit knocks the ref into the
   ropes, shaking Val loose and crotching him on them. Benoit then
   superplexes him to the mat. Here comes Hardcore Holly with a chair, and
   he nails Benoit, giving him a DQ win. Holly waffles Venis too. Chris
   Jericho runs in, his Y2J entrance getting Holly looking the wrong way (up
   the ramp--Jericho comes in through the crowd). Jericho plasters Holly,
   and is the last man left standing. I smell a four-way between these guys
   building for King of the Ring, which is actually disappointing, as I'd
   rather see them all a part of the tournament. Maybe they'll do both?

   Brisco is hoping he'll get to Triple H before the Rock does.

   Kid Rock will be on RAW next week. A quick song ... okay. An angle ...
   we'll see. A match ... lord, I hope not.

WWF WAR ZONE:

 - THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN/BULL BUCHANAN
   Next to the Rock, the Dudleyz are probably the most over guys in the
   building. Lengthy match, which the Dudleyz win with the 3D, pinning the
   Bossman. No tables busted, which is fine with me. Give that stuff a rest
   every so often (same with the Worm). It extends the shelf life, and makes
   it worth more the next time they do it.

   Another look at Brisco backstage.

   Crash Holly confronts the Acolytes, demanding a refund for them not
   protecting him for the full SmackDown! last Thursday. Bradshaw tries to
   brush him off by giving him a lollypop. Crash grabs one of their cans of
   beer ("hey, you ain't old enough to drink!") and dumps it on Bradshaw's
   head. Bradshaw gives chase. "Remember, he's just a boy!" quips Faarooq.

 - Brisco's cell phone call to Triple H craps out, and he smashes the phone
   in frustration.

 - CRASH HOLLY vs. BRADSHAW
   Squash. Bradshaw pins him following the Clothesline From Hell.

   Triple H and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley finally arrive. Brisco greets
   them and is able to warn Triple H that something is up.

 - Brisco's breathless briefing continues in a quiet room. Triple H says if
   the Rock is looking for him he isn't a hard man to find. They head out,
   and a moment later the Rock steps from the shadows in the rear of the
   room. Cheesy, but the live crowd is sure eating it up.

 - More talk about the "Iron Man Match" main event, which leads to a taped
   interview with Shawn Michaels conducted by Michael Cole. When Shawn says
   "I'm getting sick and tired of people like you always coming down on me
   every time I'm asked to do a job," I get the feeling he's talking about
   more than just the match, know what I mean? "I've been here longer than
   anybody--ANY superstar that the World Wrestling Federation has to offer.
   Nobody's been here longer than me and STILL I can't make any of you
   BASTARDS happy!"

 - Lita catches Essa Rios having a bit of fun with the Godfather and his
   Ho's. Is it just me, or has Essa been raiding Shawn Michaels' closet?

 - THE GODFATHER/ESSA RIOS (w/ Ho's & Lita) vs. PERRY SATURN/DEAN MALENKO
   The Godfather offers Malenko a Ho to take the night off. Malenko takes
   two instead, and leaves Saturn hanging! Saturn looks screwed, until Lita
   gets back at Essa for his wandering ways by dumping him off the top rope.
   Saturn plants him with a brainbuster and gets the upset win.

   Triple H and crew are looking for the Rock.

 - The Rock is out to settle the score once and for all. He says although
   Triple H came out on top at the PPV, he didn't beat the Rock. He talks
   about the Undertaker doing the right thing, but at the wrong time, and
   Vince & D-X's plans falling through tonight. All that's left tonight his
   him, and Triple H.

   ... and here comes the Champ, with Stephanie at his side. Triple H gives
   his take on the situation, offering props to the Rock for going the
   entire 60 minutes Sunday. Triple H wraps up with his catchphrase, and
   damned if the crowd doesn't chant it along with him. Helmsley's going to
   be the biggest star in the business when he turns face. The Rock beckons
   him into the ring, telling him to bring it.

   Slowly Triple H walks to the ring, the crowd getting all electric. His
   coat off, he steps into the ring. The Rock removes his sunglasses. The
   crowd's going totally nuts, as if these guys have never even locked up
   before. They meet in the center of the ring, raining blows upon one
   another!

   Here comes Road Dogg & X-Pac! And Shane! And Vince, being helped to the
   ring by Gerald Brisco. The Rock wades through them all, having some
   trouble with Vince, who slips just as the Rock is about to give him the
   Rock Bottom. They recover and Vince goes for the ride. Road Dogg catches
   the Rock from behind, and Vince's four-on-one beating begins.

   The creepy little Judgment Day girls appear on the Titan-Tron. Fire up
   Kid Rock's "American Badass" (handy picture of the CD cover pops up in
   the corner), and here comes the Undertaker on his chrome hog from Hell!
   Aaeeahh--I'm marking out again! The Undertaker lays out Faction members
   as they attack one at a time. He mounts his bike again and slowly rolls
   down the ramp, teasing that he's going to run over Vince McMahon (though
   he never comes close). He circles his bike around the ring, like a shark,
   as everyone else but the Rock and Triple H have left the ring area.
   Triple H tries to Pedigree the Rock on the steel steps (put in the ring
   by the Faction just before the Undertaker came out), but the Rock
   backdrops his way out of it. To the floor they go and Triple H tries
   another Pedigree on the announce desk, but the People's Champ escapes
   and Rock Bottoms Triple H through the desk instead. The Rock climbs back
   up to celebrate on the turnbuckles (the camera having to cut away after a
   few moments as the Rock has trouble getting his fist pulled free from his
   buttoned shirtsleeve). Yoops!

 - This Thursday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

Not a great show by any stretch. It started well, had an awesome finish 
(even without a main event match), but the entire show in-between was just 
sort of ... there. Not bad, mostly entertaining, just very uneventful. I 
think they took it a bit easy with WCW not being a factor this week, and as 
some others have pointed out, the WWF has been doing this more and more 
lately when they want to heavily hype a PPV replay (as they did here).

Going back to the "Iron Man Match" for a moment, I want to mention a part of 
that match which I haven't seen discussed online. There was a spot, right 
near the end, where the Rock dropped the People's Elbow on Triple H, tying 
the match at 5-to-5. As the Rock was bouncing off the ropes my brother and I 
both focused on Shawn Michaels. This was the exact point on SmackDown! last 
fall where Michaels superkicked the Rock, giving Triple H the win. As the 
Rock was coming in for the elbow Shawn made a sideways movement, and we both 
jolted, thinking Shawn was going for the superkick again! But he didn't, he 
was just sliding a few feet away. A deliberate move on his part to play off 
the past, or was it just a random movement, maybe to clear the way for an 
unobstructed camera view of the People's Elbow? Either way, my brother and I 
totally flipped out over it, showing just how serious we were into that 
match.

A quick note on the Undertaker's "new" gimmick: it's not new. Look at the 
Undertaker any time over the past several years, when he's been out of 
character, and this is PRECISELY the look he's favored. It was actually the 
look he was going with regularly for a brief time before the WWF put him in 
the wizards robe last year for the "Greater Power" angle. So he's not 
copying the DOA or Brian Lee or any such nonsense, he's actually going with 
what is, for him, his everyday look.

Hey, what happened to those marshals who were supposed to arrest the 
Undertaker?!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Bottom Line:

Looking back at the decline of WCW one can see that a major part of what 
turned the fans off was WCW's strategy of giving them virtually nothing to 
cheer about, nor anyone to cheer for. You could practically feel the air 
being let out of WCW when Kevin Nash ended Goldberg's unbeaten streak. After 
that WCW embarked on endless weeks of NWO run-ins, heel turns, meaningless 
World Title changes, and a general lack of emotionally-driven storylines 
meant to make the fans care about anything. In very simple terms, the Good 
Guys rarely won.

Obviously pro-wrestling, as a spectator sport, is driven by popular 
babyfaces. The fans tune in to see those babyfaces come out on top. That 
only works, though, if you have strong heels who make those victories seem 
like legitimate achievements. Nobody cares about heels who can be easily 
beaten. Nor does anyone care about a babyface, or group of babyfaces, who 
never win.

Isn't that, pretty much, what WCW is offering right now?

Jeff Jarrett's been denied credibility as a champion because he's lost the 
belt twice, both times right after he won it. And yet the fans aren't 
allowed to rejoice in those victories because they're so tainted, so lacking 
of drama, or are overturned so quickly as to not allow the fans time to 
relish them. David Arquette's title win over Jarrett was a fluke, with 
Arquette actually pinning Eric Bischoff to earn the title. A week later 
Jarrett had the belt back, with Arquette's victory having been revealed to 
be part of a heel plot. Then Ric Flair won the title, and a mere week later 
he was stripped of the belt.

Bischoff & Russo have been in charge for seven weeks now, and one could 
argue that not once have the babyfaces come out on top of the heels in a 
convincing fashion. The closest was that Thunder the week after Arquette won 
the title in which the Millionaire's Club all scored wins over New Blood 
members, in matches which were, for the most part, meaningless. Two PPV's 
have gone by and both ended with someone turning heel on Diamond Dallas 
Page, allowing Jeff Jarrett to win in both main events. When the babyfaces 
do win they're all small moments, like the Flair title win, which came just 
an hour after the match was announced. The babyface moments never get any 
build to them. WCW has yet to, under the new creative team, build to a big 
emotional moment in which the good guys--the representatives of the 
fans--come out decisively on top.

You can argue that titles don't mean anything, nor do wins and losses to a 
certain extent. What does matter, though, is the underlying battle of Good 
vs. Evil. As cliched as it might seem, the fans still want to see Good win.

The WWF tapped into this with a greater level of success than ever before 
with the ongoing story of the Evil Mr. McMahon and his foes, "Stone Cold" 
Steve Austin, Mick Foley, and now the Rock. The fans know it's worth their 
time to cheer these heroes on because eventually they'll come out on top. 
Not just in little ways, but in big, dramatic ways too.

This week's RAW was a great example of the fans being rewarded for having 
faith and interest in the Rock. A night after a disappointing defeat at the 
hands of his enemies, the Rock battled back, proving he still had fight 
left in him. In wrestling terms it's called "getting back his heat." In a 
more simple sense it was the Rock saying "aww, now you've gone and pissed 
the Rock off!" Over the next several weeks he and the heels in the company 
will swap little victories, leading up to that next big encounter, which the 
Rock will most likely win. If not then, then a month later at the next PPV. 
It's the WWF's ability at storytelling, booking, characterization, and match 
quality which will fill the time leading up to what is essentially a 
predictable outcome.

WCW, in addition to failing in most of those areas which carry them from 
week to week, have failed to lay that groundwork which will allow them to 
tell that larger story with any great prospect of success. Bischoff & Russo 
seem preoccupied with building the company's top heels, themselves, without 
any thought as to who will oppose them. Even worse, the man they are 
building as their proxy representative in the ring, Jeff Jarrett, keeps 
getting cut off at the knees by these meaningless title losses he suffers 
every two or three weeks.

Presumably they are hoping to limp along until Goldberg comes back, at which 
point they hope they can redo the WWF's McMahon/Austin feud. The problem is 
neither Bischoff nor Russo, separately or together, are as good as Vince 
McMahon, and Jeff Jarrett is no Undertaker, Mick Foley, Kane, Rock nor 
Triple H. They're trying to emulate a formula for success which they don't 
have the talent necessary to achieve to the same degree. This is, of course, 
assuming they're waiting for Goldberg's return. Their chances of success go 
down even more if they're hoping to put DDP, Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan or Scott 
Steiner in that "Stone Cold" role.

There is another course WCW might go, and it's actually one I think they 
plan on going eventually, and that's to have Bischoff & Russo split apart, 
feuding over control of the company. That story probably has more promise 
than scenario outlined above, but it still has some negatives against it.

The biggest is that you're still looking at the top two characters in the 
company being the guys who run it. This despite the fact that there's no 
evidence that anyone out there wants to see those two wrestle, or would be 
willing to spend a nickel seeing someone else wrestle on their behalf.

What would be the issue between them, and why would fans cheer for one over 
the other? The only explanation I can see is one of them (probably Bischoff) 
would accuse the other (Russo) of trying to ruin WCW. That, or you follow 
the current storylines and turn Bischoff and have him join the Millionaire's 
Club against the New Blood. (As if the fans are just dying to see Bischoff 
become a fan favorite again.)

The more one looks over the first two months of their reign in WCW, the more 
one sees that Bischoff & Russo believe they themselves were the elements 
missing in WCW being a hit company. They've dabbled here and there in their 
attempts to improve the company, but the only thing they've shown a 
consistent interest in has been building themselves (Russo more than 
Bischoff) as the company's two top heels.

If only they'd devoted as much time to a babyface worthy of the fans' 
interest.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by 
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those 
of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how 
to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.

Volume One, Number 236 of the "Monday Night Recap", May 22nd, 2000.