Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #230 April 10th, 2000 The Opening Word: No point in delaying the inevitable. Let's get to the big show ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Denver, Colorado. Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson & Mark Madden. HOUR ONE: - No changes so far, as the company logo is still the same. The opening is actually the previous version featuring a Nitro Girl or two who are no longer with the company. Now we're in the arena. WCW's gotten itself a Titan-Tron of its own, and a very RAW-esque pyro display. Big crowd for the grand unveiling, though as usual a third or half the arena is cut off by the large entryway. Numerous WCW wrestlers have gathered in the ring, in their street clothes, bringing to mind the Nitro not too long ago where Jeff Jarrett announced he was the new WCW Commissioner. (That's the show where the announcers made fools of themselves by saying nothing like that had ever happened, when the exact same thing had happened the week before on RAW, as the McMahon-Helmsley Era kicked off.) The Wall has a new look. Why is Rick Steiner out there with all these (presumably) young guys? Jeff Jarrett, the Chosen One, gets to speak first. Slap nuts and so forth. He introduces "The Power That Is," Vince Russo. Those who've seen Russo before ... see Russo again. Those who haven't get their first like at the guy: one of those types who somehow manages to be skinny yet have a beer gut at the same time. Russo's theme music is "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath (or a reasonable facsimile thereof). Russo starts off by re-writing a little history, saying that soon after he took over in WCW they were back in the game (with the WWF). Then he "shoots" by saying he was held back by a "good old boy" network afraid of change and intent on holding him back. Russo talks about how the young guys there in the ring were held back by the older stars afraid to give up their spots. I should note that from word one the crowd is booing Russo, even though he's mostly saying the truth and talking about the old stars in the way we all think of them. Man, talking about doing things bass-ackwards! Russo mentions all the guys that have left, or were suspended by previous WCW regimes. Russo addresses the troops, saying this is their chance to shine. "Are you done yet?!" Out comes Eric Bischoff, who gets a slight pop. Everyone expects him to speak for the old fogies not present. Instead Bischoff and Russo embrace. Bischoff says he and Russo have a lot in common, like being screwed by the good old boys. (Huh?) He then starts badmouthing the old stars such as Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sting, Diamond Dallas Page and Sid Vicious. Eric says his biggest mistake was listening to Hulk Hogan. Backstage we see some of those stars watching on a monitor. Bischoff offers Russo his full support. Out come the old stars, who are getting big pops because they've all been made babyface by this angle. Eric lays into them, and I'm starting to feel really bad because the heels have become the babyfaces and the babyfaces--the future of the company--have been made heels. Russo really rips into Ric Flair, which really draws him heat from the crowd. He calls him a "piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe!" and promises to flush him down the toilet. Russo then asks all the WCW titleholders to hand their belts over, as they will "level the playing field" and start totally fresh. Well, this makes no sense, as the Tag Team, United States and Cruiserweight Titles are already held by Russo's guys. Jarrett has to be convinced to give his belt up. The crowd chants for Goldberg. Sid tells Bischoff to come get it if he wants it. Bischoff faces off with him, and a threat of firing later, Sid hands the belt over. A "scissors" reference by Bischoff no doubt fools a few smarts into marking out for him. The collective term for all these guys is the "New Blood." Hulk Hogan enters the building. - Why is this ad for DDP's book airing if he's an old fart the new regime doesn't care about? - Sting tells Hogan that Bischoff is up to no good. Hogan says he'll take care of it. - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (w/ Kimberly) vs. LEX LUGER (w/ Elizabeth) This, and a match later between Sting and Sid, are part of a mini tournament to choose a contender to face Jeff Jarrett for the World Title at Spring Stampede. Madden says giving the old guys a chance at the belt is his way of dividing them up, which only half makes sense. Why even give the old guys another shot at any of the belts? (Hell, why not just fire them outright?!) DDP and Luger both have their entrance music cut off prematurely, and Luger gets his spotlight cut when he tries to pose. Buff Bagwell comes out during the match to hit on Kimberly and Liz. I guess Buff is "New Blood," even though he's been in WCW as long as DDP. God, DDP looks old. DDP wins with the Diamond Cutter. (And of course Bischoff's best pal is back in the World Title scene! Was there any doubt?) Hogan is looking for Bischoff. - Curt Hennig asks Russo why he's been left out of the World Title Tournament, what with him being the right hand of the "Powers That Be"? Russo offers to make it up by giving Hennig a match with Jarrett tonight. If Hennig wins, he goes on to face the tournament winner at Spring Stampede. Hogan is still looking for Bischoff. - Tank Abbott comes out, and says the same stuff he's been saying for months. Bottom line: he wants Goldberg. He then starts looking for a target at ringside. Mark Madden helpfully points out all kinds of people Tank could beat up. Unfortunately for him it turns out Abbott grabs Madden! THIS IS THE GREATEST NITRO EVER! Tank tosses Madden in the ring. GOOD LORD--HIS SHIRT IS OFF! I'M BLIND ... I'M BLIND! OH VENGEFUL WRATH OF GOD FOR STRIKING ME DOWN THIS WAY. I swear, Madden's blubber actually jiggles in different directions every two inches. The word "corpulent" comes to mind. Madden is easily the second fattest man in all of professional wrestling, just behind Viscera. His gut is, of course, shark-belly white, with scrubby blotches of hair. The last time I saw something this fat and hideous, Princess Leia threw a chain around its neck and choked it to death! Jarrett is upset with Russo for having to wrestle tonight. Man, Russo can't act. Billy Kidman is intent on doing something, despite the protests of Torrie Wilson. Hogan is, yes, still looking for Bischoff. Terry Taylor says he's two doors down the hallway. - ... and it only took Hogan the whole commercial break to walk that far. Bischoff invites Hogan into the room to talk things over. - Kidman hits the ring. Uh-oh, here it comes. Kidman calls out Hogan for all the stuff Hogan has said about him lately. No crowd support for Kidman here. Hogan eventually is shown exiting the room in the back. (Gee, given how long it took him to find it, it should only take him an hour to reach the ring). In something slightly less than an hour Hogan comes out. Words are exchanged, and after Hogan says the wrong thing about Torrie, Kidman attacks! Oh man, I'm actually rooting for Hogan here. I know I shouldn't be, but Kidman's coming off totally as the whiner Hogan says he is. Hogan quickly gains the upper hand and destroys Kidman. Eric Bischoff then comes out with a chair. No surprise here--Eric whacks Hogan with the chair. Hogan is busted open. Kidman covers Hogan and Bischoff makes a three count. Enjoy it while it lasts gang, cuz Hogan won't likely give Kidman much more of a rub than that. Ric Flair arrives. I wonder who'll get to humiliate him? Shane Douglas? And what about some matches? HOUR TWO: - Hogan's blade job is obvious as hell on the replay. - Hogan's tearing up the joint backstage. - Flair, coming off much smarter than Hogan, actually watches a replay of the start of the show so he knows what's going down. Whose side is Terry Taylor on there? - Now Flair hits the ring, where he proceeds to "shoot" all over Russo, the gist of things being that guys like himself, Sting and Hogan may be old, but they're still great. Out comes Scott Steiner. Good lord, they're going to turn every irrelevant backstage story into an on-screen angle, aren't they? Steiner does some shooting of his own, eventually sticking in a pair of false teeth and doing an imitation of Flair. FINALLY, Shane Douglas blindsides Flair, as the announcers make a big deal about him not working in WCW anymore. Steiner said "shit" a lot, so that means he was REALLY SHOOTING, BAY-BEE! Yeah. Kevin Nash arrives, on crutches, all ready to get his ass kicked by some "New Blood" too. - Bret Hart is in the crowd. - Flair's looking for - "Mean" Gene interviews Shane Douglas, starting with some nonsense about Douglas asking for and getting his release. No, Gene, WCW fired him. Let's just lie to all the smarts who are supposed to be lapping this up whole. If you're going to "shoot," why not be consistent and use the whole truth, not this bastardized version that the target audience knows isn't correct. Ah, I'm just quibbling, but it annoys me to know that WCW thinks they're doing fans like us a big favor by "giving us what we want," when the reality is that they're not. Anyway, Douglas cusses a lot, so I guess that's something. - STING vs. SID VICIOUS It's funny, Sid was supposed to have the title taken from him because he's injured. He looks okay here. Healthwise, I mean--his wrestling stinks. Am I the only one noticing the irony in a show which is supposed to be all about the "New Blood" featuring only matches between the old timers? The Wall, who now has dark hair and dresses like a slob, comes out with a table. Referee Nick Patrick gets bumped. The Wall taps Sid with a steel chair, takes him outside, then chokeslams him through a table. The ref wakes up and counts Sid out. Damn, I half expected Russo to come out here and complain about the old guys not doing clean jobs! Flair hits the ring and calls out Douglas. Hogan, meanwhile, is still rampaging backstage. - Hogan beats up a couple teenagers. Oops--it's 3 Count. My bad. I really do think the swearing is starting to get a bit gratuitous now. - Clips from the Hollywood premiere of "Ready to Rumble." I'm surprised they'd even mention the movie, considering how poorly it did at the box office. Of course old Bischoff crony Jason Hervey is one of the "celebrities" shown attending the premiere. Hervey, Chucky, Arli$$, Dennis Rodman, KISS, Master P, Chad Brock, Megadeth ... is any of this stuff coming back to you yet? - JEFF JARRETT vs. CURT HENNIG Some brawling on the floor precedes the action in the ring. Nothing of note is happening, when suddenly Shawn Stasiak comes out ... to Curt "Mr. Perfect" Hennig's music no less. Stasiak mimics Hennig by carrying a towel and batting his chewing gum out of the air as he spits it out. Stasiak goes in and gives Hennig the shittiest Death Valley Driver I've ever seen. The ref ... bumped? ... comes to and counts the pin for Jarrett, after the Stroke is applied. For those of you who don't know (or remember, or care), Stasiak used to be "Meat" in the WWF, where he was fired after the company learned he was secretly tape recording the other wrestlers during car rides. The fact that he'd failed to get over with the fans didn't help things either. I can't see why WCW would hire him, other than Bischoff desperately needed a former WWF star to put on the show. The crowd reaction for this was a collective "huh?!" Flair's coming back out. - Nash looks to be talking to Scott Hall on the phone. - "Mean" Gene interviews Sting. - RIC FLAIR vs. SHANE DOUGLAS It was funny to watch the debut of XPW on America One this past Saturday, and see Douglas shoot all over WCW for firing him. Funny, because there he was with Chris Candido, who like a week after the footage was taped jumped to WCW, while holding XPW's Heavyweight Title. So Douglas turned on Candido, vowing to bring the title belt back to XPW. Now Douglas has joined Candido back in WCW. Shane's interviews are interesting and electrifying, but damn--how many times is the guy going to sell out for the almighty buck, and still expect to believe his rhetoric?! Not that I blame him, mind you. He is getting up there in years. Douglas punches, Flair low blows and chops. That's the whole match. Vince Russo then comes out and whacks Flair with a rubber baseball bat. Russo then steals Flair's Rolex. Will they bury him out in the desert next? Oh, the old guys are now known as the "Millionaires Club." Nash looks damn excited to be there. Yeah. I'm betting Vampiro gets to beat *him* up. - Schiavone thinks the tide has turned in the favor of the New Blood. Gee, you think? Hogan busted open, Flair hospitalized, Luger, Madden, Hennig and Sid beaten and humiliated. Yeah, I'd say the New Blood has a slight edge this week. Hudson mentions Nash, who is now on his way out, was once part of the Clique, insinuating that Shawn Michaels is the next guy we'll be seeing tonight. To show you how screwed up things are, Nash cracks a joke about the Dog, and the fans bark! Nash says Scott Hall is clean and sober and pissed off--and presumably on the road back. Nash takes credit for keeping Shawn Michaels from killing Russo in the WWF. He also takes credit for making Nitro a hit, and rattles off that old joke about Bischoff getting Vern Gagne's coffee. You know how you can tell he's shooting? SCHIAVONE ACTUALLY SAYS SO. (Memo to fans: if it's scripted, it ain't a shoot.) I believe I'm all shoot-speeched out tonight, m'kay? Here comes ... Mike Awesome? Awesome clobbers Nash with his own crutches. looks like ECW was able to keep Awesome from trashing their title belt, like WCW wanted. They do make sure to point out that he's the current ECW Champion, though. The crowd gives him a big "asshole!" chant, though I'm pretty sure few knew who he is. Awesome says he had to come check this party out once he heard Bischoff & Russo were back. I have no feeling about Awesome one way or the other, but check the online reaction and you'll see Awesome is, this week, pretty much the least liked guy in the business because of what he just did to ECW. Cut to Hogan, trying to reach his lawyer on his cell phone. He spots the cameraman and tells him to beat it, closing his limo door. Cut to another angle, where we see a white Hummer bearing down on the limo! Oh for the--now they're just messing with our heads! The Hummer crashes into the limo repeatedly. Eric Bischoff climbs out of the driver seat. Har har. Kidman was along for the ride as well. - Hogan, wearing a neckbrace, is being strapped down on a stretcher. Kidman sprays "NWO"--I mean "NB" on Hogan's chest. Umm, shouldn't there be someone there ARRESTING Bischoff & Kidman for vehicular assault? - STING vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE (w/ Kimberly) We finally get a semblance of a normal match here. Jarrett comes out to do color commentary. He eventually goes after Kimberly. DDP, knocked to the floor, goes after Jarrett, with the referee following. If there's any doubt that the New Blood are supposed to be heels, Vampiro comes in and gives Sting the Nail in the Coffin. DDP goes back in and covers for the pin. Then, inevitable now that Russo is back in charge, Jarrett smashes his guitar over Kimberly's head. - Bischoff & Russo congratulate Jarrett, then send him back out to annoy the fans. Slap nuts and so forth. Here comes DDP. Then Scott Steiner. Then Lex Luger. Buff Bagwell. Vampiro. The Wall. Sting. Booker T. Ernest Miller. The New Blood stands triumphant. Bischoff & Russo stand in the entryway, observing their handiwork. Hey, there's Bret Hart, and even though we've gone way over the usual time, NOW they suddenly have to cut away. - This Wednesday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: I can already see WCW getting positive reviews for this show. I guess it's nice to be excited when a show as bad as Nitro has been finally shows some improvement. This show was a change from the stale WCW of the last eighteen months. But how much of a change was it? Here's a quick question to ask yourself: what will WCW do next week? Err ... umm ... uhh ... Yeah, I thought so. If ever a show defined the term "hot-shotting" this was it. You can't reintroduce Bischoff & Russo again next week. You can't strip all the title belts again next week. You can't keep digging up guys you've fired or suspended to bring back. There's only so many guys WCW can *steal* from ECW (and don't fool yourself, that's exactly what they did--check the big news sites). There's only so many WWF cast-offs out there you can bring in. Eric can't crash a Hummer into Hulk Hogan's limo each week. All of these things were hot angles, and made for an action-packed show, but what about the longterm direction of WCW? Look past all that stuff that WCW can't do every show, or even every once in a while, and ask what WCW did to change to foundation of the company? Err ... umm ... uhh ... Yeah, I thought so. All the old guys are still on top--don't let the angle fool you. The guys who should have been heels have been made faces, and will get the big babyface wins over the younger heels, whose "rubs" off those bigger stars won't amount to much if they don't get in the final word. Does anyone truly believe Hogan won't come back and crush Kidman? Or that Ric Flair will have his way with Shane Douglas? I know some of you are thinking the end result is what we've all hoped for anyway, that we're finally seeing some of these dream storylines (like the Douglas/Flair feud, happening now a good five years too late) but I'm not quite convinced things are going to end up the way they should. We're not talking about giving people the rub here, we're talking about WCW desperately needing to get rid of certain guys, and the way things stand now, those very guys are the ones who will come out on top down the road--AND THE FANS ARE CHEERING THEM ON! God, I hope Kidman and Vampiro and Booker and some of the others can use this to elevate their stock, but I'm still not convinced it'll happen. Especially not if they're all being booed by the average fan, who just wants to see a good guy he can cheer for. Right now Hulk Hogan is that good guy. I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of a feud that has 50 guys AND the two guys running the company as heels on one side, and a half dozen aging babyfaces on the other. Why didn't Bischoff and Russo send that ring full of guys after Sid, Sting, DDP and Luger right at the start, stomping them into little puddles? Or, as I mentioned above, just give them their walking papers? Even if we suppose a miracle happens and all those old guys have decided to bow out (hah!), putting the younger guys over for good. What then? I'd assume the "New Blood" would all start feuding amongst themselves, with half of them turning babyface, creating the, you know, MATCHES we're supposed to tune in and see every week. Of course this is what WCW has to do to assure their future, but it only really works if those old guys are truly jobbed out. Somehow I doubt that's gonna happen. So at best he hope for "the rub" on a few of the guys to take, and that WCW thinks up some new and fresh angles to keep things going. To be honest, there were no signs of that kind of improvement this week. The show was all shoots and swerves and booking for the Internet fans. Alas, Bischoff & Russo don't seem to know how to do a simple storyline, one that's interesting and entertaining and doesn't rely on a wink to the smart fans to get over. Or any of those WRESTLING matches the kids seem to like. Of all the "new eras" WCW has started in the last year, this was the best. Hell, it was at least entertaining, if you could ignore the fact that they were doing everything wrong. Let me repeat: the show was entertaining. That's the first time in months I've been able to say that. I can't say any of it was surprising, though, as everything played out the way we've all been assuming for the past three weeks (which, I guess, is in its own way a surprise, since Bischoff & Russo kept telling us we'd have no idea what they were going to do. Turns out the Internet had the whole show pegged pretty well). Even the surprise returns and debuts were all old news on the Internet by the start of the show. But still, it's something to look at positively, I guess. Too bad all those problems that has sunk WCW lower and lower are all still there. Don't kid yourself, they're still there. Maybe what really bugged me is how much this show looked like the first few Russo put on when he initially came in. Shoots, wrestlers jumping ship, bashing the old guys, stuff like that. The only thing we didn't get was a liberal dose of T&A (which I suppose he's saving for next week). The only thing that's different this time around is Russo's getting the cooperation of the older guys--due no doubt to the presence of Bischoff. I'm sure Eric not only showed them that it needed to be done, but as in the case of Hogan, play your cards right and you'll still come out on top. So you ask me why I'm not convinced this is the first step on the road of a glorious comeback for WCW? Because the show looks just like it did when Russo first took over, and look how bad that got. And the fan reaction thus far? The same as it's was when Kevin Nash became booker, when Bischoff was removed, when Vince Russo came in, when Russo was removed and Kevin Sullivan took over, when Sullivan was removed ... optimism always runs rampant for the first "new WCW" show. I'll let you know if I feel any more optimistic in three or four weeks, once we've moved beyond the opening fireworks. WCW hyped this show through the roof, and even I'll admit, they did deliver. Now let's see if Bischoff & Russo can deliver on their *real* job, that being to turn WCW around. Well, let the flames begin. I'm sure that because I didn't mark out for Bischoff & Russo, or Shawn Stasiak & Mike Awesome, that I'm biased against WCW or something. What did I like about the show, you might ask? Well, for the first time in almost a year there was more worth watching than not. I enjoyed seeing Madden get his fat ass kicked. And that bit with Bret Hart at the very end was a nice storyline twist. I liked that. Goldberg would have been better, though. No wait, I take it all back. Whoo-hoo, Nitro was awesome! Can I get a letter posted on the Torch site now? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler. WWF RAW: - Good lord, it's Randy Savage! He's come out and shoots all over Vince McMahon. Linda McMahon sold him all her stock, so he now controls the WWF. Savage says he's the one who lowered the briefcase, and he ran over Steve Austin. Stephanie McMahon dumps Triple H and asks Savage to marry her. Vince McMahon swears a lot. Jim Ross says everyone's shooting. Savage finally announces he's passing the torch to-- --or maybe not. - The Rock makes his way to the ring. He cues us some clips from SmackDown! This being the heart of Rock country, the Rock wants a shot at the WWF Championship tonight. Vince McMahon comes out. His Titan-Tron entrance video now contains "Evil Mr. McMahon" brand clips. Vince and Rock have a tense exchange over a chair McMahon is carrying. Vince says the Rock won't get a shot at the title tonight, but he will get a shot at earning a title match, against an opponent to be named later, tonight in a steel cage. Said Ominous Steel Cage lowers partway from the ceiling. Vince says the reason he turned on The Rock at WrestleMania was because the Rock, who Vince claims to have "made" back during their "Corporate Champion" days, never thanked Vince for turning him into a superstar. He says that without him, the Rock might have succeeded, but only as the next Doink, Gobbledygooker or Bastion Booger! The Rock owes all his success to Vince, says Vince. The Rock tells him to shove what he thinks up his ass. That prompts Vince to go off on a weird rant about the Rock and the anal fixation he has. Someone should tell Vince how to pronounce "feces." Vince says if you take all that feces from the fans in the arena, and stick it in an oven, then we'll all smell what the Rock is cooking! Out comes Triple H, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley and Shane McMahon. In the ring, Vince tries a blindside attack on the Rock with the chair, but the Rock catches him and nails him with the chair instead. The others charge, but the Rock holds them at bay with the chair. They collect Vince, and the McMahon family exits up the ramp. - ROAD DOGG/X-PAC (w/ Tori) vs. EDGE/CHRISTIAN A short match, which sees X-Pac pin Christian after Road Dogg nails him with a belt. New TAGteamCHAMPIONSoftheWO--whoops--referee Earl Hebner is out to alert the other ref. Rather than reverse the decision per se, the ref does the wise thing and says the match will continue. Mere seconds later X-Pac is pinned. You know, my mind had so quickly acclimated to the notion of X-Pac & Road Dogg holding the belts that when I updated my site late Monday night, I actually blocked out the switcheroo and put up that they had won the belts. Yoiks! Now you know why people hate Dusty Finishes. There's the Godfather and his Ho's. I saw the documentary "Pimps Up, Ho's Down" again on HBO over the weekend, and am more convinced than ever that that's where they came up with the Godfather character. - Taped earlier in the day, Terri Runnels tries to make amends with the Kat by offering her an expense-free trip to the beauty salon. Oh man, talk about your OBVIOUS set-ups, and we'll have to sit through the whole show before it's done playing out. - THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. KURT ANGLE Angle does this great bit where he says he was an Olympic champion because of abstinence. He then offers the Godfather a condom. "You can prance, and you can dance, but when if comes to 'relations,' keep it in your pants!" Too funny. Not even Angle, though, can get much of a match out of the Godfather. Angle with the easy win. Just as Terri & the Kat left the building, Eddie Guerrero and Chyna cruised in. Chyna's wearing her disco pants again. Scotty Too Hotty and Rikishi are joined by Tazz. Rikishi decides to back dat ass up. Lawler notes there should be a beeping sound. - The Big Show's got another goofy gimmick on tap, which he once again previews only for Shane McMahon. When did the Big Show become Stevie Richards? - RIKISHI PHATU/SCOTTY TOO HOTTY/TAZZ vs. THE RADICALZ Grandmaster Sexay is out with an injury, following the attack at the hands of the Big Show last week. Not too long into this match everyone pairs off into what may be upcoming PPV matches. Rikishi and Chris Benoit go toe-to-toe. Tazz and Perry Saturn go at it. That leaves Scotty and Dean Malenko in the ring, with Hotty managing to slap the Texas Cloverleaf on Malenko (oh, the indignity). Saturn makes the save and Dean covers for the pin. Triple H is up next, to defend the WWF Championship against a mystery opponent. I assumed it's Kane (forgetting that Kane is out with a broken hand). Terri & the Kat are at the beauty salon and *ugh*--just get it over with. WWF WAR ZONE: - TRIPLE H (w/ Stephanie & Shane) vs. ??? Triple H acts all concerned, until we learn this is all a joke to give him an easy night. His opponent is one of the members of Kaientai! Triple H is then genuinely concerned when he realizes that they're being accompanied by the Acolytes! TRIPLE H (w/ Stephanie & Shane) vs. TAKA MICHINOKU (w/ & the APA) Shane is upset, and a shoving match with the ref doesn't improve his mood. Shane is chased from rigside by Faarooq & Bradshaw. The Acolytes then stand at ringside, ready to fend off any outside interference. Taka is a house afire, taking the fight to Triple H. Chops and kicks have the Game reeling. The crowd is rooting Taka on! Eventually Triple H takes over, using his sheer size (compared to Taka) to dominate. He starts getting a bit rough, and referee Hebner steps in. He and Triple H get into a shoving match. The crowd is excited, seeing this as a sign that the hot-headed Hebner might just screw over Triple H. Helmsley start demolishing Taka down on the floor. Suddenly Funaki nails him with a baseball slide coming out of the ring. Triple H is sent flying into the Acolytes. They deliver the obligatory beatdown. Hebner, who couldn't possibly have missed all this, is letting it go. Back in the ring they send him. Funaki hits a drop-kick off the top. Taka follows with a moonsault. 1 ... 2 ... thr--NO! The crowd is on their feet! Here come Shane & Vince McMahon. He worms his way past the Acolytes, getting them turned around, setting them up for a blindside attack by the Big Bossman & Bull Buchanan! Taka, meanwhile, is still taking the fight to Triple H. His window of opportunity has passed, though, and Triple H turns a huracanrana attempt into a powerbomb, then puts him away with the Pedigree. Damn, but that was a hot match, and pretty good to boot. Too bad it'll get lost in all the hub-bub over Nitro this week. Taka, Funaki and the APA all get stomped for daring to try to one-up the McMahon family. - The WWF's Kane funny car won a race over the weekend. - Trish Stratus, in retaliation for nearly being put through a table by the Dudley Boyz last Thursday, leads T(est) & A(lbert) to the Dudleyz dressing room. T & A kick their asses. - T & A (w/ Trish Stratus) vs. THE HARDY BOYZ Sometimes you have to pull the plug on a gimmick going nowhere. T & A and Stratus may be one of those gimmicks. I seem to recall these four having a really good match on SmackDown! a few weeks ago. Maybe it was Edge & Christian instead of the Hardyz. Anyway, this one just goes through the motions, with Albert going down to a Twist of Fate, followed by the Swanton Bomb. After the Hardyz leave, the Dudleyz run in. Test takes a 3-D ride. They set up a table, intent on putting Stratus through it, but Buh-Buh goes into his orgasmic trance a bit too early. Albert takes out D-Von. Buh-Buh is then sent through the table. Pairing the Dudleyz with these guys, after their competition at WrestleMania, certainly seems like a demotion. New Chef Boyardee ad featuring the Big Show. - VAL VENIS vs. THE BIG SHOW Big Show is dressed this time as Venis, complete with shaggy wig and towel. "Hello ladies. Now ladies, we all know it's not the motion in the ocean, but the size of the boat that turns you on!" That would have worked so better if he'd said "dinghy." He invites them to ride his Titanic, rather than Val's S.S. Minnow. Venis fires back that the Titanic sank, and that it wasn't an iceberg that did it, but the Big Show's dimpled ass. Awww, the Big Showbowski's feeling are hurt! Show goes postal on Venis, and is DQ'ed for choking him with his wig. Eh. - CHRIS JERICHO vs. EDDIE GUERRERO (w/ Chyna) Jericho asks who is the man in their relationship, and who has the bigger package? Another good match, with the crowd finally waking up from that slumber they've been in for the last half hour. Jericho comes damn close to securing the win, avoiding all kinds of cheating by Eddie, but things go awry when the ref goes down, and Chyna comes in to deliver a low blow and DDT. Eddie's pin cover is academic. You can literally see and hear the energy drain from the crowd. Bad finish. - The cage is being lowered. ANOTHER commercial?! - The Kat, having been handed a drugged drink by Terri when we last saw her, wakes up to see that she's had her hair butchered and tons of tacky makeup applied to her face. They even gave her a little poodle dog with a bad hair job. Oh yeah, that was worth waiting two hours for. One of these two better get naked at Backlash. - THE ROCK vs. ??? In a way this is a well-written counterpoint to the match which started the second hour, but in another way it's part of an hour which, two matches aside, has been really boring. The Rock's opponent(s) turn out to be ... THE ROCK vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN/BULL BUCHANAN The Rock should be dead meat, and for most of this match he is. He gets a break, though, when Buchanan hits the Bossman with a springboard clothesline. Buchanan goes down to a Samoan Drop. He then goes after the Bossman, but the Bossman counters with a sidewalk slam. The match is starting to run too long now, given who's involved. The Rock is able to take out both men, as they've foregone cooperating. A Rock Bottom finally puts Buchanan away for the pin. Shane, Vince & Triple H enter the cage. The Rock is floored by Triple H, who is wearing a pair of brass knuckles. Total beatdown here. Even Earl Hebner gets knocked on his can. The Rock is busted open, and it's a gusher. Triple H gets right in the Rock's face and says he's through playing games with him. Something gets bleeped. Triple H Pedigrees him on a chair. Talk about your MANLY bladejobs--there's a puddle of blood a foot wide on the mat! The Acolytes come charging in for the save and a huge pop, but it's too little, too late to help the Rock. He's earned his shot at Backlash, but at what price? - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: I wish to hell the WWF could have scrapped the Backlash PPV. With so little time between it and WrestleMania you can tell the WWF has had to pull itself back. There wouldn't have been enough time to develop a good, main event level storyline. So instead we get a Rock/Triple H rematch, which we all assumed would happen five minutes after WrestleMania was over. That's why the last two weeks have seemed so boring. They're just going through the motions, setting up something we immediately saw coming. Anything new will have to wait until after Backlash. I hope. It probably couldn't have come at a worse time, what with WCW making the waves they are. Good or bad, WCW is at least catching the people's attention. It's obvious the WWF doesn't see them as a threat yet. Just look at last week, and the few weeks before it. Even with ratings slightly down for the WWF, they're still beating WCW by three or four ratings points on Monday nights. But this Monday Night War has always been about impressions, and there are plenty of fans out there who have the impression that the WWF is in a slump right now, and that WCW is beginning a hot streak. Ignore that, like the WWF seems to be doing, and the impression could become the reality. Fortunately for the WWF, WCW has problems coming up with the NBA playoffs on TNT, which will disrupt their schedule, and hinder whatever momentum they may be looking to gain. Hopefully once Backlash is past the WWF can kick it back into high gear. Listen to me--I sound like I'm declaring the WWF dead! Nothing could be further from the truth. This was, overall, a pretty good show. Lots of strong wrestling and good matches. There were notable negatives, though. The opening interview, executed well, didn't really amount to anything. These lengthy interviews have to go back to setting up things for the show, and the storylines in general. This one included the announcement of the main event, but the main event didn't actually come about because of the interview. Speaking of the main event, as good as it was, it was still one of those matches most people will write off because of who was involved. I know not everyone (not even myself) will buy the Big Bossman and Bull Buchanan as main event material. The same goes for the Triple H/Taka match. I really enjoyed that one, but I can see a lot of people complaining about Taka in such a spot, and to an extent I agree. Going up against the end of Nitro, and seeing all the hot-shotting they were doing, the WWF might have been forgiven in doing a hot-shot angle of their own there. Perhaps have Triple H lose the WWF Championship to someone, then win it back at SmackDown! That would have gotten the fans talking. The one angle on the show which I thought was totally DOA was the running clips of Terri & the Kat. That stuff should be saved for Heat. A good show this week, but up against all the stuff that happened on Nitro, not one likely to have made much of an impression. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Spring Stampede is this Sunday. The only match we know of so far is DDP vs. Jarrett for the WCW Heavyweight Title. Talk about choosing the lesser of two evils--who do you pick here?! Do you go with the guy on top for WCW's lowest buyrates ever, or do you put the belt around Bischoff's best friend, a guy who was champ last year when WCW started sliding into the crapper? Pencil in matches between Sid & the Wall, Sting & Vampiro, Flair & Douglas, and Hogan vs. Kidman. They've also got to somehow fill all those vacant titles. If you really feel inspired to drop $30 on this show, be warned: if Bischoff & Russo don't like the results, they may just act like the show never happened next Monday on Nitro! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 230 of the "Monday Night Recap", April 10th, 2000.