Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #228
March 27th, 2000

The Opening Word:

In case you've been living in a cave for the last week, here's the situation 
as it stands in WCW:

Upon being informed that Eric Bischoff would be brought back to the company 
as a "creative director", WCW head Bill Busch resigned. TNT rep Brad Siegel, 
who has been overseeing WCW ever since Dr. Harvey Schiller left to work for 
the Yankees, offered Busch the chance to stay on and handle WCW's finances, 
while Bischoff was in charge of the creative end. Busch declined, saying he 
had no interest in being in a position where the job he did might be at odds 
with the job someone else does. (One can imagine the excuses Bischoff might 
make to Siegel if Busch were "tying his hands" by refusing to okay expensive 
angles or talent acquisition.) So Busch resigned. Siegel is believed to have 
been quite caught off guard by this. He will, for the time being, step in 
and oversee WCW's finances himself, until a suitable candidate can be found. 
(That doesn't include Bischoff, apparently. It's a stance I wholeheartedly 
support, as giving Eric the checkbook is what hastened WCW's decline last 
year.)

I wonder how long it'll be until people start saying Busch wasn't given 
enough time to turn the company around?

With Bischoff back in control, it was quickly rumored--and within days 
confirmed--that Vince Russo would be back as well. Russo would serve as head 
writer under Bischoff. Having a totally different philosophy towards the 
business compared to Bischoff, the two have nonetheless come to some kind of 
agreement to put that aside and concentrate their efforts on improving WCW.

Upon learning that Russo would be returning, WCW writer Bob Mould resigned. 
Various other WCW employees, J.J. Dillon, Gary Juster and head booker Kevin 
Sullivan, are nervously looking over their shoulders, since some or all of 
them were credited with sabotaging Russo's previous run in WCW.

Over the weekend WCW began to hype that Bischoff and Russo would be taking 
over the company reigns this Monday. WCW has also announced that the tapings 
for the 4/3 Nitro and 4/5 Thunder have been canceled. It's assumed that 
"Best of" shows will air in their places, or extra matches will be taped 
this week, padded out with massive amounts of clip packages. The idea is 
that the week off will allow Bischoff and Russo extra time to come up with a 
big storyline with which to relaunch both shows. New sets, TV graphics and 
announcers are rumored as well. (The fact that both canceled shows sold 
barely any tickets last week is apparently only a sad coincidence.) It 
should be noted that next Monday is the night after WrestleMania, so it's a 
safe bet that no matter what WCW did, it would have gone virtually unseen, 
versus a huge RAW is WAR which will establish all of the WWF's major 
storylines coming out of the PPV.

Here's where we drift from the mainland of fact onto the island of 
speculation. WCW is promising something big once Bischoff and Russo return. 
Looking at the talent they have available to them, it's honestly hard to 
come up with one single storyline that WCW could do which the fans would 
find compelling. Nobody is over or hated enough for a big heel or face turn 
to work. The NWO isn't working, and it's difficult to think that adding more 
people to it would matter. WCW itself doesn't have any sense of unity, so an 
"invasion angle" by an outside group of wrestlers wouldn't seem to hold much 
promise. WCW doesn't have the ownership the WWF has, so they can't emulate 
the stories the WWF does involving the feuding McMahons, daughters getting 
married, etc. There just isn't anything, with the people they have in place, 
that would be seen as new or original.

If I were Vince McMahon, I'd make damn sure all his top stars' contracts are 
in order. This is the exact time in which Bischoff would try to lure some 
big-name piece of talent away with a lucrative contract. Of course Bischoff 
doesn't exactly hold Ted Turner's checkbook this time around, so he may not 
have that option open to him.

That really only leaves, and it saddens me to realize it, a return to TV by 
both Bischoff and "Powers That Be" Russo.

One can imagine a scenario in which the "Powers That Be" return to wreak 
havoc on WCW. Perhaps they'll use the NWO, now fronted by Sid Vicious, to 
accomplish that. Things look grim until, who should appear, but Eric 
Bischoff, leading a group comprised of Hulk Hogan, Diamond Dallas Page and 
Sting. Russo's NWO and Bischoff's WCW battle for control of WCW. The NWO 
manages to turn things in their favor, but Bischoff eventually counters by 
bringing back Goldberg. The battle rages on until Starrcade this December, 
where the war will be settled once and for all.

It almost sounds interesting, doesn't it? (Wade Keller, on his Torch 
website, proposes a Bischoff/Russo feud very similar to this. I see I'm not 
the only one picking up that vibe from WCW.)

There are problems, though, really big ones. The first is that once again 
we'll have the two main creative guys writing for the company based on their 
own involvement on TV. It's not impossible to do (Vince McMahon does it all 
the time), but it's a potential strike against their ability to handle their 
real job behind the scenes. With all the problems facing the two it's not 
the smartest idea for them to handicap themselves before they ever leave 
the starting gate.

The next problem is that all of this has basically been done before, in the 
original NWO vs. WCW feud. That time around Bischoff played the role Russo 
would be playing now. It wouldn't surprise me to see an immediate spike in 
the ratings if they did this. It also wouldn't surprise me to see that 
ratings increase fade as the weeks passed. The reason for that is fans would 
quickly see WCW isn't really a prize worth battling over, and the combatants 
are the same tired faces they've already grown weary of. In the end it'll 
come off looking like an ego battle between Bischoff and Russo, and neither 
man has the charisma or on-screen presence to carry that off like McMahon 
does in the WWF.

The final, most important reason (though I'm sure there's other lesser ones 
I haven't even touched upon) is that none of this solves the deeply-rooted 
problems which have brought WCW down to begin with. The company will still 
be dominated by the same old face, those aging stars at the top. It doesn't 
do anything to elevate younger stars in the company, unless they hype it 
hard and heavy as a "Young vs. Old" feud, and put the young on top quickly. 
It doesn't make the company look cool or in tune with the times, nor does it 
guarantee the writing for the undercard angles and feuds will be interesting 
and entertaining.

It's obvious WCW requires a major overhaul, beyond just the cosmetic 
appearance of the set or logo or music. Those need to be done too, but more 
important they need to change what we see in the ring every week. They need 
fresh faces, and the youth of the company has to be elevated. They need to 
build for the future.

The unfortunate thing is Bischoff & Russo are both addicted to hotshotting 
angles and doing surprises for no other reason than they get off surprising 
people. They have it in their power to do the right things, but they will 
have to suppress their natural urges and inclinations to do so.

I really want to be supportive of this latest change in WCW, and I hope they 
can take this company back on the path of not only being profitable, but 
watchable. I'm also a realist, though, and I can't ignore past history. Eric 
Bischoff made WCW a success in the past, but it took him a good three years 
to do so, and WCW is in as bad a shape now as it was when Bischoff first 
took control in 1993. Russo, contributing to the style and content that made 
the WWF the hit it is today, required two or three years as well to pull the 
WWF out of the tailspin it was in at the time. Neither man has a track 
record of making the necessary changes overnight, and both in fact have been 
shown to buckle under the pressure when it became too great.

The thing perhaps most working against the success of Bischoff & Russo is 
their end goal, which is murky to say the least. Is there a certain target 
the company is expecting them to reach, in terms of TV ratings, PPV buyrates 
and house show attendance? At what point will their turning the company 
around be considered a success? Do they have to beat the WWF in some aspect 
to assure the safety of their jobs?  If it's that last point then I'd say 
they're doomed, but if it's at any lesser level, then there's no reason the 
two shouldn't be able to get the job done.

So once again I say good luck to them, and hope they can come up with 
something that helps WCW. The scenario outlined above is merely one that 
comes to mind--one I hope desperately Bischoff & Russo aren't thinking of 
doing. The optimist in me says give them a chance--and believe me I will; 
the pessimist in me, however, points out the very nature of the wrestling 
business itself. How long until some idea fails, and the two start pointing 
fingers at the other? Can two incompatible personalities come together and 
do what's right for the company?

We might get our first hint to that answer this week.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: South Padre Island, Texas.
Hosted By: Tony Schiavone & Mark Madden.

HOUR ONE:

 - WCW logo. Man, the "new & improved" WCW already sucks. JUST KIDDING!

 - The ring, with a light setup like they use at the Road Wild PPV's, is on
   a beach next to a large hotel. Schiavone says it's a "capacity crowd,"
   which is kind of silly since the "capacity" of a beach is pretty hard to
   calculate. There's very few chicks in bikini's, but thousands of horny
   guys looking for said chicks.

   "Mean" Gene, in Hawaiian shirt, compliments an (unseen) girl and her
   hooters. He then intro's a special guest. Out comes Kimberly (nice
   bikini), and she introduces Diamond Dallas Page. A few dozen fans chant
   his initials. DDP hypes "Ready To Rumble." (Speaking of which, I saw two
   ads for that movie during SmackDown!--actual UPN ads I believe, not cable
   company inserts.) DDP closes with his usual "3 time, 3 time, 3 time!"
   line, which brings out Jeff Jarrett. Slappy. Chosen One. Stroke. Slapnut.
   Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, ba-da-BANG! That was pointless.

   Here's our first last look at Tony Schiavone. Mark Madden offends more
   ECW fans. Schiavone talks about Brad Siegel bringing Eric Bischoff back,
   and how Siegel wants to bring Vince Russo back as well. Tonight we'll get
   Russo's decision. Madden talks about what geniuses the two are. Nice of
   WCW to pin their turnaround on an angle 75% to 90% fans watching on TV
   don't understand. Listen to WCW Live and you'll hear that WCW truly
   believes most wrestling fans follow things on the Internet. This is the
   reason they blame their poor business on bad Internet reaction, when the
   reality is WCW's poor product is what's caused the bad Internet reaction.
   They have the cause & effect backwards!

   Footage of Hulk Hogan on the Mancow show in Chicago, and the lame angle
   they did staging a fight between Mancow and Jimmy Hart.

   Three jobbers are talking about the beach scene when they're interrupted
   by Paisley, who picks one to face the Artist later tonight.

   Jarrett, Scott Steiner & the Harris Brothers are poolside.

 - "Mean" Gene interviews Booker.

 - THE ARTIST (w/ Paisley) vs. MICHAEL MODEST
   There's a story floating around that Modest, a longtime indy sensation,
   had a tryout match against the Artist, and that the bookers were so
   impressed they told the two to do the same identical match on Nitro.

   Schiavone is heavily hyping the Russo announcement, as Madden is just as
   heavily saying the two can't possibly work together. Schiavone gives
   Russo credit for turning the WWF around, as well as bringing about
   Bischoff's downfall.

   Sid, out with an injury and not scheduled to appear, has put a bounty on
   Hulk Hogan's head.

   "Hard Knox" Chris Candido comes to ringside, putting to rest (for now)
   the rumors that he's unhappy with his arrangement with WCW. Chavo
   Guerrero is out too.

   Modest wins the fans over finding ways to drop Iaukea on his head. Three
   seconds before the pinfall Madden reveals the Cruiserweight Title isn't
   on the line ... then Modest wins. Well, whatever. Modest looked good.

   "Mean" Gene interviews the Harris Brothers. Heavy D says he has an
   injured arm. Big Ron will face Booker later tonight.

 - WCW finally justifies the months of hype leading up to this show: video
   of girls in bikinis. Lots of sponsor logos stuck in there.

 - Hogan & Hart, at their hotel, are waved into a room by Vampiro.

 - BOOKER vs. BIG RON (w/ Heavy D)
   Why is Madden working so hard to bury Russo? Well, not so much bury, but
   push so heavily that the two can't work together. Listen to Madden and
   that guy named "Vince McMahon" apparently played no role in the success
   of wrestling whatsoever. It was all Bischoff & Russo. 

   Russo must be back. This match lasts about 30 seconds. Jeff Jarrett runs
   in, and Heavy D--with his arm in a sling--nails Booker. Big Ron wins.
   Harlem Heat 2000 and Kidman then run in.

   Vampiro warns Hogan that there's a bounty on his head. So what did they
   do while that match was going on?

 - "Mean" Gene interviews Hulk Hogan. Damn, but he must have run to get
   there from that hotel room (after changing clothes). Hogan calls Sid a
   coward, and offers to pay the half-million dollar bounty himself to get
   his hands on Sid. Hogan then dubs Vampiro the next chosen one, and
   promises to watch his back. Uh-oh. Suddenly they cut to a telescopic shot
   of the Wall standing on the roof of the nearby hotel. Chokeslam sign.
   Hogan calls him out. Man, this is so over the top.

 - Mike Tenay interviews the Mamalu--the Paisans. Big Vito wants to know why
   Disco Inferno has gotten them a match against the Jung Dragons? The
   Harris Brothers are shown watching this on TV.

 - THE JUNG DRAGONS vs. THE MAMALUKES/DISCO INFERNO
   The Jung Dragons do a Japanese version of "Can't Get You Out of My
   Heart" until the Mamalukes attack. Schiavone completely stops paying
   attention to the match to announce that Vince Russo will indeed team up
   with Eric Bischoff to run WCW's creative team. Some announcement--almost
   as exciting as learning Stephanie McMahon hates her mother. Disco is
   pinned by one of the Dragons, who are then destroyed by the Harris
   Brothers.

HOUR TWO:

 - Team Package makes its way to the ring. Madden is still doubtful that
   Bischoff & Russo will work together.

   RIC FLAIR/LEX LUGER (w/ Elizabeth) vs. STING/VAMPIRO
   This was a wild one. Sting and Luger battle away from the ring, ending up
   by a pool. Luger goes in the water. They then fight their way over to a
   snack bar. Both end up covered in food. They continue on to the beach,
   where various inflatable toys and surfboards are used as weapons. Flair
   and Vampiro, totally forgotten, are killing time with a Figure Four in
   the ring. Schiavone's giving us continual Vince Russo updates. Sting and
   Luger end up in the surf. Sting delivers a piledriver, and covers for the
   pin. This might just as well have been a singles match. Entertaining for
   what it was.

   Someone asks Booker what he thinks of Bischoff & Russo coming back?
   Booker says to asks the butt kissers in the back.

 - More bikini footage, this time serving as a thinly veiled promo for
   "Tough Actin'" Tinactin.

 - "Mean" Gene interviews Terry Funk.

 - LA PARKA vs. MENG
   Schiavone actually wonders if that's La Parka's voice. La Parka's ghostly
   voiceover says pretty much the same stuff as last week. Squash. This sea
   air must be bad for Meng, as his afro has frizzed out to a diameter of
   about three feet! (Ever see "Ice Pirates"?) Tank Abbott comes out, only
   to be jumped by Fit Finlay.

   Kid Cam shows the NWO poolside bit we saw earlier, but goes on to show
   Buff Bagwell hit on the ladies in the pool after they leave. The NWO,
   seeing this, are pissed that Bagwell hit on their women.

   Someone asks Fit Finlay what he thinks of Bischoff & Russo coming back.
   Finlay answers in a tongue I'm not familiar with.

 - Video of some group I've never heard of covering Twisted Sister's "We're
   Not Going To Take It," from the soundtrack of "Ready to Rumble." The lead
   singer chick is totally butt-ugly. She gets beat up by WCW wrestlers (is
   that Perry Saturn?), until she's saved by David Arquette and the other
   guy in the movie. Sting, DDP and Goldberg are featured prominently. Much
   of this video is footage taken directly from the movie. Since it's a
   note-for-note cover of the original song, how much you'd like this
   depends on how much you like the original.

 - Video promo for the Wall.

 - HUGH MORRUS vs. TERRY FUNK
   Forget the match--there's more Bischoff & Russo news! They announce next
   week's show has been canceled, and will be replaced by "The Best of
   WCW." The same for Thunder. Bischoff & Russo will debut the new WCW on
   Monday, April 10th. The match here consists of Morrus doing "devastating"
   moves to Funk on the mats at ringside, with Funk refusing to stay down.
   Dustin Rhodes eventually comes in and takes out both men with a chair, as
   well as the referee.

   There's the NWO.

 - Jarrett & Steiner do their usual bits on the mic.

   Curt Hennig & Buff Bagwell read off lines that seemingly have little to
   do with each other.

   Someone asks Prince Iaukea ... you get the idea. The Artist says they
   suck and will kill the company. He then smiles and says that's what some
   of the boys in the back think. He actually thinks they'll be a good
   change. The fact that Iaukea broke character here signals the imminent
   return of the shoot-swerve-work approach Russo loves so much.

 - TracFone ad disguised as beach fun.

 - JEFF JARRETT/SCOTT STEINER (w/ NWO Girls) vs. CURT HENNIG/BUFF BAGWELL
   Bischoff & Russo. Bischoff & Russo. BISCHOFF & RUSSO! F*@# the match,
   BISCHOFF & RUSSO ARE BACK!!! Bagwell fakes a neck injury so the NWO Girls
   will pamper him. Hennig eats a guitar shot ("geetar shot," according to
   Schiavone). The Steiner Recliner puts him away.

   Somebody asks somebody ... Johnny "The Bull" I think.

 - During the break, on the heels of about a dozen "Ready To Rumble" ads
   they've run thus far, they show a new 1-800-CALL-ATT ad which hypes the
   movie. Arquette cuts a wrestling promo. Dialing the number enters you
   into a contest to go to the next WCW PPV. Is that Bobby Duncum, Jr.?

 - HULK HOGAN (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. THE WALL
   I don't want to shortchange WCW here: this really is a pretty good sized
   crowd. Hogan is putting up a million dollars (*snort*) in this match. Is
   that the million Bischoff promised us if we watched Nitro? And who drove
   the Hummer?

   Hogan and the Wall trade what could laughably be called moves. Hogan then
   does the Big Boot and Legdrop O' Doom, but the Wall gets up! Vampiro then
   runs in to save Hogan from ... losing? Wall wins via DQ. That was odd.
   Hogan and Vampiro then knock the Wall off the apron, sending him through
   a table the Wall had set up earlier at ringside.

 - This Wednesday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: The Best of WCW.

Comments:

I've always been a mark for outdoor shows, and this one was no exception. 
There's something about taking a wrestling show and putting it in a 
different environment that makes it seem just a little more interesting. 
This wasn't a good show by any means, but for the first time in weeks I 
found myself paying more attention. Pretty good sized crowd. Did they have
to pay to watch the show? I know they had to get wristbands in order to get
in, but I think the wristbands were free.

The matches? Meaningless, save for the main event, which I'll get back to in 
a bit. Overall the whole show was designed to set up the returns of Bischoff 
& Russo, and explain the reasons behind next week's "Best of WCW" show and
the big relaunch on April 10th.

In case I didn't make it clear, Schiavone & Madden literally spent 90% of 
the show talking about Bischoff & Russo. It's obviously a mistake to assume 
the fans at home know what they're talking about, but by the end of this 
show they had said Bischoff & Russo's names so many times that won't matter. 
The fans will accept them as players. They'll get the gist of what these two 
mean to the company, they'll just never know the whole story beyond the 
little bits WCW feeds them on TV. It's really the "Powers That Be" all over 
again (and we all saw how well that worked). I suppose it's possible that 
the two won't be playing on-camera roles, but damn then, what's the point of 
saying their names so many times? It's hard to interpret this build-up as 
anything other than the stage being set for the two appearing on TV, at 
which point the notion of a feud between the two becomes a given. Again, if 
otherwise, then what's the point?

So now that we know it's going down, the interest lies in seeing who ends up 
playing the heel and who the babyface, and on whose side the wrestlers align 
themselves. I can see the ratings going up a bit, then leveling off, then 
dipping back down, basically because the fans will see that other than these 
two guys putting themselves on TV, WCW isn't giving them anything new. It's 
the same old crap, with two guys on top pretending to be Vince McMahon.

I hope I'm wrong in that regard, and that Bischoff & Russo will come up with 
something more original. We'll see in two weeks.

Interesting that Hogan didn't beat the Wall here. Since the Wall was a 
Kevin Sullivan project, and Sullivan was reportedly "sent home" (just as 
Bischoff & Russo were once upon a time), you'd figure the Wall's push was 
headed for the trash heap. Not yet, apparently. Either the push will 
continue, or WCW is just saving him so Hogan or Goldberg can squash him real 
good somewhere down the road.

Speaking of which, can you imagine how many fans they'll turn off if Russo & 
Bischoff's next big idea is to turn Goldberg heel? Yowtch!

Do you get the feeling Ric Flair's days on TV are now more numbered than 
ever?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Houston, Texas.
Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler.

WWF RAW:

 - Clips from SmackDown! open the show. Stephanie McMahon called her mother
   Linda a bitch and slapped her down!

 - Linda McMahon is out. Bless the Houston crowd, they go wild for her
   promo, even though Linda isn't exactly the best person to be doing one.
   Long story short: Linda calls Stephanie out. Here comes Vince McMahon
   instead. He tells Linda this is "his arena," meaning wrestling, and that
   he's concerned that she's stepped out of her corporate role. Vince says
   he's out to hear Stephanie's apology, and dares her to deliver it without
   Triple H at her side. Stephanie comes out. Stephanie says she's sorry
   alright: sorry that she didn't slap *Vince* instead! He threatens to give
   her a spanking (big pop), but out comes Triple H. He calls Vince and
   Linda fossils, and says their era is over. Now it's Shane's turn to come
   out. He hits the ring, saying he's disgusted at what Stephanie did to her
   mother. He does agree, though, that his parents are fossils whose days in
   the business are done. Slowly positioning himself behind Vince he
   blindsides him! Triple H joins in on the beating. Linda grabs Shane by
   his hair, but Stephanie pulls Linda off. Shane starts advancing on Linda.
   Here comes Mick Foley! Ah, but alas, here comes the Big Show as well.
   Foley and Vince are really taking a beating. Can you smell it? Yes, the
   Rock completes the drama. It's not enough, though, as Triple H, Shane &
   the Big Show leave the Rock, Foley & Vince all laying in the center of
   the ring.

   Clocking in at 23 minutes this went too long, starting very slow, but it
   picked up steam as it went along.

 - CHYNA/CHRIS JERICHO vs. CHRIS BENOIT/EDDIE GUERRERO
   Chyna blows her bazooka. Jericho rags on Benoit being a robot. Benoit, by
   the way, has his own entrance music (different than the Radicalz).
   Someone in here doesn't belong. A total quickie here, with Benoit pinning
   Jericho after Guerrero aborts a Lionsault attempt by Y2J. All four
   continue to brawl afterwards. Dean Malenko & Perry Saturn run in, as do
   Too Cool.

   Interviewed by Michael Cole, Vince McMahon calls out his son Shane, over
   the protestations of Linda.

 - HARDCORE HOLLY vs. CRASH HOLLY
   Very quickly Tazz runs in (with his own referee). Then the Head Bangers
   (with their own referee)! Now there's Viscera! Crash makes a break for
   the back. The Mean Street Posse attack! Holly escapes again, only to run
   into Taka Michinoku & Sho Funaki! Funaki pulls a referee's shirt off and
   tries to count a pinfall for Taka! This is wild. Everyone's trying to pin
   Holly and win his Hardcore Title. There's about a half dozen referees
   waiting to count the pin. Holly eventually escapes outside and hides
   behind a trashcan. Then, when everyone comes out to look for him, he
   slips back inside and locks the door. I'm surprised the cameraman didn't
   try to pin him. Great angle.

   Shane turns down Vince's challenge.

   Rikishi tells Kevin Kelly "my ass--in his face!" (re: Road Dogg).

 - Michael Cole waits to interview the Rock.

 - Clips of the Rock's lame appearance on "The Tonight Show." Jay Leno is
   beyond terrible these days.

 - RIKISHI PHATU vs. ROAD DOGG
   Road Dogg's face goes in Rikishi's ass, so he runs away, gagging. That's
   it--the whole match. They're not all winners, people.

   The Rock isn't impressed with the McMahon Family feud and so, ostensibly
   lacking a main event tonight, throws out an open challenge to anyone.

 - THE RADICALZ vs. THE HARDY BOYZ
   Oh man, this is going to be sweet. Edge & Christian sit in on color
   commentary. The two teased a heel turn on Heat, walking out of an
   interview involving them, Jonathan Coachman and the Hardyz. Edge is
   pretty good on the mic. Hey, the match actually lasts several minutes!
   I should note there's more wrestling during any given ten second stretch
   here than in the entire main event playing out over on Nitro. The finish
   sees Matt Hardy and Malenko down on the floor, drawing the attention of
   the ref. Edge & Christian slip in, causing Jeff to miss his Swanton Bomb
   attempt on Saturn. Saturn then hits a suplex-bridge thingy, scoring the
   pin. That was so swank it oughtta be called Hillary.

   Shane wussed out on facing his old man, but he and the Big Show would be
   more than happy to take the Rock up on his challenge.

   There's Kane.

WWF WAR ZONE:

 - Charles Barkley is in the hizouse!

 - KANE (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. KURT ANGLE
   Angle does his mic bit before the match. Total domination by Kane,
   brought to a halt and a DQ finish when Angle waffles Kane with a title
   belt. I think they showed Bob Backlund backstage for a split-second, so
   that angle's still going. Bearer sics Kane on Angle afterwards, and he
   drags him back into the ring for a Tombstone.

   Michael Cole gets Vince McMahon's thoughts on the Rock/Big Show/Shane
   handicap match. Vince feigns puzzlement, then says he'll be the Rock's
   tag team partner, and there's not anything anyone can do about it.

   There's Trish Stratus, apparently talking to T & A (off camera). Does
   that mean the cameraman is "&"?

 - Earlier Today: Al Snow & Steve Blackman swap some dialogue.

 - AL SNOW (w/ Steve Blackman) vs. TEST (w/ Trish Stratus & Albert)
   *blink* Test gets the pin. Huh? Saving it all for WrestleMania, eh? T & A
   "borrow" Jeff Jarrett's NWO Girl gimmick (inspired by the Godfather) of
   not allowing the fans to see Trish's goods.

   Stephanie makes Triple H the referee for the main event.

 - ... and now he's cutting off the sleeves of the shirt so he can show off
   his guns. He makes a crack about the time Vince did that, then admires
   the size of his muscles. For some reason this was really funny. No, I
   mean it. This just cracked me up.

 - BIG BOSSMAN/BULL BUCHANNAN vs. THE ACOLYTES
   Buchannan's first name is "Barry," which Ross tells us for some reason.
   This one's barely underway when the Godfather and D-Lo Brown come out
   with a mile of Ho's. Good lord, that one's got two bowling balls! The
   Ho's start pulling wads of cash out of their cleavage to pay off the
   Acolytes to leave. Godfather & D-Lo attack, and no match ever takes
   place.

   Linda McMahon makes Mick Foley the second main event referee. You know,
   if Kevin Kelly would stop interviewing McMahons backstage they'd stop
   adding stipulations to the match!

 - Mick slips on his ref shirt.

 - GTV catches Terri Runnels and the Fabulous Moolah badmouthing the Kat and
   Mae Young. The Kat comes in with a bill for a shirt Terri wrecked last
   week. Terri tears up the bill, then Moolah tears off the Kat's robe. Mae
   Young comes in for the save, but gets her shirt ripped as well. Kat's
   thong was too hot for the censors, as they had to blur her bare rump out.

 - The Rock doesn't want Vince as his partner. Vince says nertz.

 - Method Man spins "Know Your Role" from WWF Aggression. Now, I like the
   Run DMC/D-X theme, and the Snoop Dogg remix of "Stone Cold's" theme is
   okay, but this one plain sucks.

 - X-PAC (w/ Road Dogg & Tori) vs. D-VON DUDLEY (w/ Buh-Buh Ray Dudley)
   Those Damn Dudleyz don't have too much luck in singles competition.
   Buh-Buh sets up a table. Both he and Road Dogg interfere, then X-Pac puts
   D-Von away with the X Factor. Pyro burst, and here comes Kane! Buh-Buh,
   the only one left on his feet, awaits Kane. *Splunk* Kane's just about to
   chokeslam X-pac when the Dudleyz stop him, then lay him out with the 3D.
   They send him over the top rope, crashing through the table set up
   earlier. Nasty looking spot.

   There's the Big Show & Shane.

 - BIG SHOW/SHANE MCMAHON vs. THE ROCK/VINCE MCMAHON
   Big Show & Shane doubleteam Vince to start. Foley tries to break it up,
   but he's occupied by Triple H. The Rock doesn't seem too anxious to help
   Vince, as he only now just comes out. Now it's the Rock's turn to get
   beaten down. The momentum shifts when the Rock comes back with a DDT. He
   has Shane in hand, Vince begging to be tagged in. He does, and
   immediately embarks on a scintillating series of punches. No one ever
   said Vince could wrestle. For like the next five minutes Vince pounds on
   Shane out on the announce desk. That's kid's a saint to sell some of
   this. Shane EVENTUALLY nails a low blow. Both are back in and Vince makes
   the hot tag. Big Show stands idly by as the Rock drops the People's
   Elbow. Foley tries to count the pin, but Triple H drops an elbow on him!
   The Pedigree follows. Shane is rolled on top and the count is started,
   but Vince feebly breaks it up. A lucky (what else could it be?) punch
   takes Triple H out! Crotch chop by Vince! Big Show in with a choke. Foley
   steps in with the Mandible Claw! Big Show dumped to the floor. That
   leaves the Rock and Shane, who goes for a ride on the Rock Bottom. Foley
   with the 1 ... 2 ... 3! The Rock, Mick Foley and Vince McMahon are left
   standing in the ring as they fade out.  

 - This Thursday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

I don't know if they know it, but Houston is in a battle with Chicago to see 
which is the hottest wrestling town. Right now Houston is winning, making 
two straight RAW's seem better than they probably were.

Very good PPV hype show. They really made the WrestleMania main event seem 
as important as any match they've ever done, dually hyping the personal 
rivalries involved as well as the importance of the WWF Championship. They 
did a good job of bringing the undercard into sharper focus as well.

Most of the matches did come up a bit short this week. The Hardzyz/Radicalz 
tag match was sweet, though, and the main event was really hot.

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The Bottom Line:

Here's the card for WrestleMania 2000:

 * Triple H (w/ Stephanie) vs. the Rock (w/ Vince) vs. Mick Foley (w/ 
   Linda) vs. the Big Show (w/ Shane). "Fatal Fourway Elimination Match" for 
   the WWF Championship.
 * Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit. Two falls "Triple Threat 
   Match" for the Intercontinental & European Titles.
 * The Dudley Boyz vs. the Hardy Boys vs. Edge & Christian. "Triple 
   Threat/Ladder Match" for the World Tag Team Titles.
 * Kane & Rikishi vs. X-Pac & Road Dogg.
 * Too Cool & Chyna vs. the Radicalz.
 * 13 Man Battle Royal for the Hardcore Title.
 * The Kat (w/ Mae Young) vs. Terri Runnels (w/ the Fabulous Moolah).
 * The Godfather & D-Lo Brown vs. the Big Bossman & Bull Buchannan.
 * Test & Albert vs. Head Cheese.

I'm not 100% sure on those last two matches. Obviously the WWF is trying to 
squeeze every wrestler on the roster onto the show, since this will be the 
most watched PPV of the year (and probably most profitable wrestling PPV 
ever).

I'm going with the prediction that Foley does indeed with the WWF 
Championship, retiring as champion, and vacating the title for a tournament 
to start the next night on RAW and conclude at the next PPV. It just makes 
the most sense booking-wise given the short amount of time until the next 
PPV (April 30th).

Back to Nitro, there's a few things that strike me after the fact about that 
show. One is where was all of WCW's younger talent? Vampiro and Wall were 
featured prominently, but how about Kidman, 3 Count and Lane & Rave. I 
believe 3 Count wrestled a dark match, but wouldn't it have made sense for 
them to be on TV (especially since the Jung Dragons ripped on/ripped off 
their gimmick)? Kidman only did a run-in. Wouldn't this have been the time 
to have Rave & Lane scouting the beach crowd for ratz? And where was Norman 
Smiley? He may have been the most over guy on the show. (That probably 
answers my question.) A tag or six-man luchadore match probably would have 
lit up the crowd as well.

And how can you do a show on the beach and not have Torrie Wilson or Miss 
Hancock?!

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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by 
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those 
of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how 
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Volume One, Number 228 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 27th, 2000.