______________________________________________________________________ I do not offer subscriptions to a mailing list! I do not e-mail images! ______________________________________________________________________ RAW RAW on 05/17/99 was another strong show, following on the heels of generally packed shows in recent weeks. While the wrestling content of RAW is never anything to write home about and it is still pretty easy to find holes or confusion in the story lines, there is a general sense of doing the right things to build interest. It isn't interest in actual wrestling, mind you. And this week, the show started with a match. X-Pac & Kane & Road Dogg faced Mark Henry & D'Lo Brown & Billy Gunn. See, here's an example. While it seems weird to have Gunn joining up with Henry & Brown, even though Gunn has turned on Dogg, it made sense to have this match because it builds interest in the tag match and the Dogg vs. Gunn singles match at the PPV on Sunday. Now, the wrestling in this match was okay at best, even with X-Pac looking great. Still, there's continuity. They talked about the face side have the remaining two members of Degeneration X. Now, that made sense. Compare that to the NWO situation that has developed over 1999 in WCW; in that case, there's no effort to keep things straight or remind people of the lay of the land. You don't need to be a brain surgeon to know what the finish of this match was. Yeah, everybody started brawling outside the ring in the obvious pairings for the no contest at 5:52, although no bells rang. Now this segment showed that RAW doesn't just aspire to be the best action adventure series on TV; no, this segment made a good effort to position RAW in the comedy series world as well. First, Jim Ross, when announcing Steve Austin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmlsey as a TV match this night, said that the "physical style" of Austin would face the "smooth, technical style" of HHH. Now, that is funny. During the six man tag match, JR also mentioned that Billy Gunn is the "best natural athlete" in the WWF. I guess that should say "best natural athlete who can't throw a punch." After the match, a pitiful subset of the Corporate Ministry, sort of like the NWO B&W version of the group, came out to say that the Union was delayed due to supernatural car trouble, so Vince was going to be attacked. We cut to Vince's room, where he, Pat Patterson, Jerry Brisco, and a cameraman stood in terror, with the stooges blockading the door. Back from a commercial, the Ministry, now also accompanied by Big Boss Man & Paul Bearer, who apparently couldn't make it to the ring, stalked Vince McMahon. Vince opened the closet and Undertaker & HHH came out to attack Vince. Before anything could happen, we went to a commercial. I don't know why...we just did. That allowed them a couple of minutes to lay out Vince, who was stretchered away to an ambulance. Even though they did show a replay, we didn't see what happened: people came out of the closet, and some people went into the closet. Jeff Jarrett & Blue Blazer faced Val Venis & Godfather. JJ came out with the women's world breastling champion, Debra. JR told us that Godfather will face Blue Blazer at the PPV. Hmmm, so that should mean that Blazer gets the win in this tag match to build anticipation, right? Or, if he loses, he should get the title at the PPV, right? Who knows? If the Blue Blazer stands against the breasts and profanity of the WWF, why would he team with "Don't Piss Me Off" Jeff Jarrett and the women's breastling champion? I guess he's crazy. Like so many WWF stars before him, Godfather is a ring entrance and nothing else. Notice how the WWF bends over backwards to catch a panty shot whenever possible? Blazer did an old style babyface gimmick, offering to shake hands after exchanges. Blazer & Venis did a few nice things early, mostly Blazer. It was downhill from there. Godfather was in for one move before hitting the ho train splash in the corner. At least they realize his deficiencies. He bumped for a couple of moves by JJ & Blazer. Nicole Bass came out. Owen was bumped off the apron by Blazer. Death valley driver for the pin at 3:56. Meat faced Test, in a battle of the stupidly-named guys. Ryan Shamrock is now a member of PMS. I'm just glad that she got out of that motel room where the Undertaker had her held hostage. I was worried about her for weeks and wondering whether Ken Shamrock had actually saved her. Meat is hard to beat, Lawler told us. That seemed hard to swallow. With six breasts attached to him, can Meat get over? We shall see. Hard to believe that this match will double the rating of whatever is on Nitro at the same time. The one-liners continued, as Meat was rising to the occasion by dominating Test. Match ended at 6:00 with a DQ when Jacqueline did her top rope dropkick on Test. Tori came out to save Test from the horrible attack in the ring. Steve Austin did an interview. He tried to build up the "smooth, technical" HHH as a legit rival. He swore a lot. It went something like, "blah blah blah Vince blah blah blah Stone Cold Steve Austin blah blah blah kick your ass blah blah blah this foot in your ass blah blah blah equal opportunity ass kicker Chyna blah blah blah in your ass blah blah blah rat's ass blah blah damn referee blah blah blah son of a bitch blah blah ass blah blah blah Austin 3:16 says "I just kick your ass" blah blah Undertaker's ass blah blah that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold says so." Shane McMahon and the B&W Corporate Ministry came out to berate Austin and then attack him. The Union came out from behind Shane, with Ken Shamrock attacking Shane. For some reason, Ken came out alone first, before the remainder surfaced. Unbelievably, Paul Bearer moved more slowly than Viscera, so Austin pulled him in the ring and stunned him. Austin also slapped the mat, with his elbow coming within an inch of Bearer's throat. Wow. Undertaker faced Rock in a casket match. They said that this was a very rare casket match, obviously because it wasn't going to be well done. Rock's chest looks really weird, like he had breasts and somebody sucked the fat out of them. I dunno, just guessing. Rock still had a cast on. I mention that because in WCW, he probably wouldn't have it on any more or he would have had it on the other arm. Match was boring, so boring that they cut to the back to show an uninspired brawl between the B&W Ministry and the Union. Poor Undertaker still had a balanced match with Rock, even though Rock had a broken arm. HHH came out to distract Rock. Don't say you didn't expect that. Rock & Undertaker went to the floor. Rock attacked Helmsley. HHH used a sledgehammer on the steel steps, and the reverberations broke open the cast. They rolled Rock into the casket for the win, locking the casket afterwards. Match ran 3:49. It actually wasn't that bad, but it was hardly good. The bounced the casket around. HHH ended up shacking it with a sledgehammer a dozen times. Cool effect, although you've got to believe that Rock slipped out of a trap door and made it under the ring, leaving the casket empty. Notice that when they locked the casket, they pushed it right up to the ring apron? Backstage they opened the casket, covering the mouths and noses and asking for an ambulance. The Brood faced Michael Hayes & the Hardy Boyz. Wouldn't that be nice if the Hardy Boyz got a bit of a profile thanks to their hard work? Sadly, the Boyz were wearing Erik Watts' pants, which just annoy me as wrestling gear goes. Hayes' influence means a wardrobe change, I guess. The Hardy Boyz bumped like pinballs. During the match, JR called Helmsley the "soundest technical guy in the WWF." I laughed so hard I had to pee, missing some of this match. Hayews barely came in, so the match was actually better by far than most RAW matches. In fact, this was the first time in recent memory where RAW may well have had the best match on Monday Night television. Hardy Boyz did a lot. Edge spear Jeff Hardy with incredible impact and speed. Hayes even took a face first powerbomb. Tope by Edge. Matt Hardy did one of those lucha style topes, taking everybody out. The referee called for the bell at 6:40, with JR saying that it was a DQ. Backstage, the Rock was covered in blood. Al Snow came out with Head, a box, and a bag. The bag contained Pierre, a deer head, that was apaprently part of a story line I thankfully didn't see in Canada. The result was that Bob Holly & Al Snow heated up their PPV title match. The Union and the Corporate Ministry brawled backstage. Big Slow faced Big Boss Man. Each guy was accompanied by hangers-on. Slow won the match in 2:00 with the choke slam. Steve Austin faced Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Match body was surprisingly good, although I wouldn't call it an awesome blend of the "physical" and "smooth, technical" styles of the skilled combatants. Finish was a farce. The Undertaker's, ahem, symbol came down from the ceiling, while the Undertaker did his best Big Slow imitation in lumbering to the ring. Everybody came out, and while the bit players brawled around ringside, Undertaker and Austin were looking for a lost contact lens. Oh, I dunno what they were doing, but they were hunched over on all fours. Ah, suddenly we learned that they were tussling for control of the hand cuffs, with Austin handcuffing Undertaker to his symbol. Ha! Apparently, the guys that raise and lower the symbol don't care who they work for, since they presumably lowered the symbol at the Undertaker's command, but raised it when Austin gestured. I think the Ministry should beat them up next week. Well, the Undertaker raised up, all crucified, er, symbolified, and Austin gave him the finger and trash talked a bit. Undertaker smiled. Ooooh. Match ran somewhere around 11:00, with the referee not bothering to end the bout. Tally time: 37:17 of bell-to-bell wrestling, again quite a bit above average for RAW in 1999. Nitro Nitro on 05/17/99 was a three-hour show, back on the air after a week's hiatus that saw the WWF capitalize with a tremendous TV rating that rubbed the WWF's ratings dominance in 1999 in the faces of the decision makers in WCW. If anybody came in to this Monday night hoping that WCW would finally wake up and do the things that are necessary -- and I think the majority of people reading this have an idea what difficult things need to be done, what the failings of the WCW product are -- they were surely in for a rude awakening. Without even watching the show, anybody should guess that the same problems would be present. On with the show. The show opened with the Horsemen arriving in a limosine, which also had Diamond Dallas Page inside. Charles Robinson replaced Roddy Piper's name plate on the president's door by Ric Flair's name plate. Do they really put up that stupid president sign on a door at every arena they visit? To the ring, Arn Anderson cut a promo warning Raven & Saturn. No sign of Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko. The two teams would face each other for the titles this night. Ric Flair announced that Eric Bischoff had no business getting involved in the matches at Slamboree. Flair announced that he & Robinson would face Randy Savage & Gorgeous George in a tag match. He also announced Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash for the WCW Title on the show. Interview segment ran 11 minutes or so; I felt like I was watching RAW, except nobody said "ass" and everybody was older. DDP said that Bam Bam Bigelow would be watching his back. Oh, if Flair is still president because Eric Bischoff had no place changing the result, why didn't Flair just kill Kevin Nash's title victory, saying that the match should have ended when the DQ was called? It all made no sense. But at least they had graphics for all of the matches as the night wore on. We were given a canned babyface interview with Eric Bischoff, no doubt so that a fan reaction wouldn't air. Bischoff described the current situation as "more competitive than [he] would like." Now, that was funny. He said he hadn't paid enough attention to stay on top after a remarkable 88-week dominance of "the industry." The question is whether becoming attentive again means that he'll start using the old guys only to put the young guys over. Oh, you know the drill. They started hyping the Goldberg vs. Bret Hart issue. Now, this could be interesting. They showed Kevin Nash challenging Bret Hart to a match on the Tonight Show with Kevin putting up $250K of, gasp, his own money. Hmmm, are the going to move the title to Goldberg through Bret? The plan remains to get the title on Goldberg ASAP, but Kevin Nash is obviously going to be reluctant to drop the title to him and ruin their balanced match history. More talking from Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff explained that he ruined the PPV matches knowing full well that he wasn't acting in an official capacity...well, he said he didn't give it much thought. Sort of like most WCW story lines, one starts to think. The explanation was that Flair can not overrule the official ref's decision, so Nash must remain champion. Ah, that almost makes sense. But wasn't the first official ref's decision a DQ? And didn't the match get restarted because of the unofficial actions of Bischoff? So, shouldn't the second official decision really fall before the first? Oh, I dunno. Hey, Eric loves the company. You always hurt the ones you love. Somehow, rehabbing himself in the first hour of Nitro seems to be the solution to the Monday night drubbing that WCW gets each week. Eric Bischoff & Roddy Piper arrived in their own limo. Mike Tenay announced that Bret Hart would be on the Tonight Show; he's still not appearing on WCW TV. What a great wrestling show this was so far. They definitely have learned how to use their first hour well. Case in point, we saw some footage of George vs. Robinson. In the first match of the show, just after the half-hour mark as the show aired on TSN, Rey Misterio Jr. faced Evan Karagis for the Cruiserweight Title. Match was a throwaway, although Evan did get a bit of offence in. Rey hit a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin at 2:12. The commentators talked about the Steiners, Piper, and Flair throughout this match. Those are not the guys that need to be hyped. Hey, I wonder if we'll find out what Lex Luger's press conference was all about. So, Ric Flair announced that every promoter has pushed his son(s), so Ric Flair is naturally going to push David Flair. He talked Buddy Lee Parker into losing to David. This sure seems like a great way to help David mature as a wrestler and get over. Oh, that's not what wrestling is about any more. Ric informed David of the plan. Torrie Wilson looked good. Booker T did an interview hyping, saying that he would become TV champ again tonight, so I guessed he was facing Rick Steiner later on. David Flair faced Buddy Lee Parker. I hate matches with nonwrestlers or guys with no real ring skills. A martial arts guy or a boxing guy can sometimes still put together an okay mixed style match with a wrestler, but untrained or unathletic guys don't have a hope. I don't want to see David Flair, Jay Leno, Vince or Shane McMahon in the ring. You could argue that matches involving them, even against each other heaven forbid, are still wrestling because they are on a wrestling show and the fans at the show react to it. But then you've got to say that Sable vs. Debra is wrestling too, just as an example, and we all know that that is a total lie. I didn't give a crap about this "match," and I didn't consider the upcoming mixed tag to be a match either. Wrestling is so easy that anybody can do it; what a message. Okay, the sermon's done. Heenan had the nerve to call this an interesting match. They did some really lame mat wrestling, with David not really locking any moves and Buddy so clearly working around him. The commentators said that Buddy Lee wasn't in on anything, suggesting that they hadn't seen the earlier segment. David missed an elbow drop that made him look totally pathetic. He managed to put on the figure four, terribly of course, with referee Robinson signalling for the bell before Buddy Lee submitted. Just a horrible, pointless mess. The only good part was Torrie Wilson's butt in her spandex outfit. Match ran 2:40. Ric Flair & Charles Robinson faced Randy Savage & Madusa. For some reason, George was on crutches and unable to, ahem, work the match. She probably tripped backstage and hurt her ankle two minutes before the match. This match was in the unenviable position of trying to hold on to the ratings as RAW came on the air. Match wasn't good, although it was still sort of funny to see Robinson's Flair act. Too bad Robinson isn't Flair's kid. Finish saw Savage hit the elbow on Charles for the pin at 8:55. To heavily emphasize all that is wrong with the promotion, we were given a god awful interview segment that set up issues that show how hopeless things are. Roddy Piper came out. He's signed to a three-year deal, with the idea of being a focal point for a long time to come. Why? Piper did a horrible stand-up comedy routine. Piper called out Eric Bischoff. Despite the canned babyface promos earlier, the crowd booed Bischoff loudly. Piper said he wanted to hear what Bischoff had to say, hoping to use his own questionable popularity to rub Bischoff. Before we could get too far, Randy Savage came out to ask for a title shot. Piper and Savage got into a shoving match. George whacked Piper with a cane, and Savage piledrove him. I guess George was fine after all, but she just didn't want to, ahem, wrestle in the earlier match. Bischoff was slammed, but Kevin Nash made the save before Savage could hit the elbow. What was the point of this segment? Does anybody really want to see Savage face Piper or Nash? I just don't get it. An hour-and-a-half into the show, we had spent at most five minutes on the guys who should become the focus of the promotion. What a pile of crap. Hak faced Fit Finlay in a hardcore match. Oh lord, you know a show has been just horrible when a match involving Hak looks like it could be the most entertaining thing on the show thus far. I guess I like Finlay a lot. Match was bad. Finlay still showed glimmers of being a great worker, but this framework sucks. Brian Nobbs came in and attacked both guys. No DQ meant that the match had to continue. They ended up brawling outside of the ring, with the referee declaring a no contest. Thankfully, there was a commercial break during all of this, so we only endured about 6:30 of the match. Unthankfully, it looked like they were setting up a triangle match for later. Rick Steiner faced Booker T for the TV Title. Well, that was supposed to happen. But as Steiner was in the ring, we learned that Booker T was laid out backstage. Before we can get too concerned about things, though, Sting came out to face Steiner in answer to Steiner's open challenge. And, boy, we sure needed two Steiners doing microphone work in WCW. They brawled around a bit before hitting the ring. Not too much happened though. Scott Steiner came out, and it looked like a double team was coming for the Stinger. Ah, no, Lex Luger came out for the save! The plan is to put the Steiners & Lex Luger & Elizabeth together as a heel group. I guess we'll get there by having a tag match first, with Luger turning on Sting. Do you realize that that tag match would be a rematch of their famous * * * * 1/2 SuperBrawl I match? That match was famous because it is probably the best match that Luger has ever had, and it seemed so unlikely in that company. Something tells me that a match involving those four today will be lucky to get one quarter the match rating. Match ran 3:57. Konnan faced Curt Hennig. Why? They had an okay match. Randy Savage came out late in the match, beat up Konnan a bit outside the ring, tossed him back in, and Curt Hennig hit the fisherman suplex for the pin at 10:32 of the action we saw. The idea was that Savage was screwing Konnan over because Konnan's friend Kevin Nash wouldn't give him a title shot. This was just the wrong finish. Despite everything that's been done to kill him, Konnan is one of the only guys that has managed to rise up. They are determined to keep this an old man's company. Oh yeah, George was walking without difficulty and without a crutch at this point. Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko challenged Raven & Perry Saturn for the WCW Tag Titles. After what we had endured over the past two hours and twenty minutes, this match had to be damn good to make it all worthwhile for the work/rate fanatics. Arn came out with the Horsemen; Kanyon came out with Raven & Saturn. Match was pretty good. Benoit was great. Finish saw Kanyon interfere, knocking Malenko off the ropes, with Saturn hitting the Etsuko Mita death valley driver for the pin at 14:25 of what we saw. Afterwards, it seemed like Bam Bam Bigelow would be finding a tag partner for a tag title match on a later show. Diamond Dallas Page challenged Kevin Nash for the WCW Title, with a whopping ten minutes or so left in the show. Bigelow came out after a couple of minutes to watch DDP's back. Maybe that's our tag team challengers next week? The most over wrestler in the match was Goldberg, who got loud chants even though he wasn't in the building. The next most over wrestler was a guy called "Boring," who drew a few chants as well. Nash sucks. You know, I buy some wrestling magazines to mail to my friend in Japan. While in Chapters last week, I noticed the second issue of WOW magazine, never having seen the first. This is the magazine that is supposed to be more inside, using the lingo that we all use, mentioning Dave Meltzer and the Observer, etc. Just in case you have any illusions about the magazine, in one column they praised Kevin Nash's wrestling ability. What a joke that is. Back to this amazing match, Bigelow and Randy Savage came in. They triple-teamed Nash, with Nash getting demolished. Like anybody cared. Goldberg was still getting the only cheers. This was so boring. He put lipstick on Nash's face. A fan stormed the ring. Savage punched him, and security took him out. I guess one person cared. Either that or he wanted to get on a Nitro broadcast before the rating drops below 2.0. That should happen by July at the latest. Oh, this match ran x:xx. - The WWF has Over The Edge on 05/23/99. Tentative line-up has * Undertaker vs. Steve Austin for the WWF Title with both Shane & Vince McMahon as referee * Rocky Maivia vs. Hunter Hearst Helmlsey * X-Pac & Kane vs. D'Lo Brown & Mark Henry for the Tag Titles * Al Snow vs. Bob Holly for the Hardcore title * Mankind & Ken Shamrock & Test & Big Slow vs. Midian & Viscera & Acolytes * Road Dogg vs. Billy Gunn * Godfather vs. Blue Blazer for the IC Title - There was a really funny line in the Observer regarding last week's RAW match between Kane & Billy Gunn: "Show opened with Kane and Billy Gunn having one of those sports entertainment matches. You know, the kind that is neither sport nor entertaining nor ever ends. A plant (a local DJ) attacked Billy as he was going to the ring. He should be called Mr. Tan and not Mr. Ass. Certainly this wouldn't be called Mr. Match. Gunn sold a foot to the face that missed worse than the moves in the Konnan-Stevie Ray match. Kane did the first thing that required skill in his WWF tenure as he took a bump outside the ring and caught his ankle in the ropes." It's a good thing that Meltzer doesn't post weekly web updates with an e-mail address because there are at least a dozen yahoos that would flame him every week. I know. - As a further cure to the ratings problem they are facing, WCW is apparently considering bringing in Yokozuna and Sid and the like. They just don't have a clue, do they. They need to bring in a few relatively unknown young guys, pair them up with guys that can talk well if they can't talk well themselves, repackaged a few of the current young crop that haven't been killed, and push that group to the moon. The Observer has been ranting about this stuff as well in recent weeks, suggesting that Lance Storm is really the best choice in North America, and quite likely the only guy at that level who could be used as a focal point. Everything in the world should be done to keep and push Chris Jericho. Eddy Guerrero, thanks to his time off TV, should be pushed like mad when he returns, but he needs to be paired with somebody who can talk for him, while he gets interview lessons himself. Since they've killed almost all of the Mexicans, they could consider bringing in somebody from Japan who can work like mad. Paired with a talker and given a push, that would work as well. I'd like to see them bring in Don Frye and use him correctly. Oh, daydreams. - The Observer reports that the Times-Dispatch out of Richmond, VA, ran an interview with Earl Hebner, and, of course, the Bret Hart doublecross came up. "It's the most difficult situation I have ever been in in this business...It was something I did because I was told to do it. I basically did it to protect the business for the rest of the boys. Here is one guy who was going to screw up 150 guys' lifestyle...The guy already had a $9-million contract. What was the big deal?...If you work for somebody and you don't do what they tell you to, they don't need you." The Observer then wonders what that "150 guys' lifestyle" bit is about. And of course I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that the last sentence makes no sense given the stipulations of Hart's contract. Continuing from the Observer, "I said I would never count him out, and I didn't...Bret and I were real close, but Bret didn't offer me money. He didn't say if you do this, I will give you this. I have a family that I have to take care of." - If you recall, the taped bit where Ric Flair left the mental hospital in Florida seemed to feature Scott Hall driving the van. Apparently, there was a plan to have Scott Hall involved in the Ric Flair vs. Roddy Piper match, leading to Hall joining the Horsemen. But it has also been rumoured, and seems more likely, that Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Konnan, and Rey Misterio Jr. will be bonded into a team. All of this has been put on hold, though, because Hall asked for time off to fix up his remarriage. It is no secret that his wife doesn't him involved in wrestling any more. - The Observer reports that the reason that they switched the WWF Women's Title to Debra is two-fold. First, Sable doesn't want to be bothered with actual wrestling matches any more. Second, Sable refused to live up to that time-honoured tradition that was important a couple of Survivor Series ago. ______________________________________________________________________ - The Comedy Channel in Canada aired a special on the life of Maurice "Mad Dog" Vachon, who was a major star in Quebec, starting out in Portland and ending up in the AWA, where he held the heavyweight strap. As a result, each daily newspaper carried a story on the show. I scanned the stories from the Toronto Star and the Globe and Mail. Grappling with Mad Dog for insights into his life The Star's Jim Bawden chatted this week with Maurice (Mad Dog) Vachon, 69, who appears in the documentary Wrestling With The Past, airing tonight at 9 on the Comedy Network. Q May I begin by asking: Can I call you Mad Dog? A Grrr. Sure. Q Where did this title come from? A Grrr. I was in Portland in 1962, and my opponent in the ring came very late. It's not nice to keep me waiting. So I picked him up and tossed him out of the ring on account of his bad manners. The referee protested, so I tossed him out, too. Then a police officer came into the ring with a baton, and I had to toss him out. The promoter was Don Owen, and he shouted, "You're acting just like a mad dog!" And I rather liked that. It suited me, yeah. Q Tonight's special, Wrestling With The Past, salutes you as one of wrestling's true superstars. How do you feel about this praise? A Well, it's true. There never will be another Mad Dog. Q How many matches did you fight, and how serious were your injuries? A Once in Houston I dislocated my foot. It came right out of the socket, the toes were where the heel should be. The doctor said he'd never seen that before, but he popped it back in. I've broken every finger, fractured most of my ribs, dislocated vertebrae when a guy jumped down on my back. I fractured my larynx, which is why I talk this way. I never could get insurance, you know, so I had to keep playing through the pain. It's just something in me, this willingness to fight. I never actually counted, but I figured I wrestled something like 14,000 matches. Q Were you ever in a contest that was fixed? A Certainly not! Better not make Mad Dog mad! It's a contest between two partners. To make it work you have to have a good opponent. It was choreographed to some extent because I'd get to know the guys. But I never had to have it fixed, because I was a winner, you get me? Q You come from a family of fighters. A My dad was a Montreal police detective, the strongest man I ever saw. He put 20 people on a table and lifted it. He was crazy about boxing and wanted me to box when I was 12. But a wonderful trainer said it would make me punch drunk and steered me to wrestling, which is a game of skill. I was on the short side -- I'm five feet, seven inches -- and skill is all I've got. I love to go after those 300-pound supermen because I just know I can tip them and pin them once I've go them down. Q Your brother Paul wrestled, too? A Little brother Paul "The Butcher." I had a son Mike who wrestled for a bit, but it's not the same these days. My sister Vivian wrestled. My daughter Luna wrestled. But never around the house. It's tough on the furniture. Q Originally you were a championship wrestler? A At 18, I represented Canada at the 1948 Olympic Games in London. I won a gold medal at the 1950 British Empire games in Auckland. Then I had to turn pro because I had little children to feed. In those days I was a handsome guy with golden hair, although you wouldn't know it today. My teeth got kicked out. Q But you'd have crowds cheering for blood. A In Quebec, I'm the hero. When Whipper Billy Watson came to the Forum, he was the bad guy. The Beast was a bad guy wherever he went, and I think that got to him. Poor Beast, no confidence. Gorgeous George, Baron Von Raschke, Gene Kiniski, Killer Kowalski -- he bit off Yukon Eric's ear. They're all artists as well as athletes. Q You were famous for frothing at the mouth. A It's my trademark, please! People pay money to see certain things, and why disappoint them? They say I always had to draw blood. Not always! And I gouged out the eyes of my opponents. But how many blind wrestlers do you see walking around? It's a myth! Q When you were honoured by the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) in May, 1996, describe what happened. A It was a carnival time, lots of fun, and I was watching the main event between Diesel and Shawn Michaels. Diesel jumped me and stole my artificiai leg and tried to batter Shawn into pulp. Eventually, Shawn wrestled it away and used it to set up the winning pin. What laughs! You really had to be there. Q Do you still watch wrestling on TV today? A It's just not the same. The glory days are over. It's all pornographic. Have you seen Sable -- you get to see almost all of her. The guys are too big, how can people relate to them? But the money they make is astounding. In my best year I made $150,000. They make that in T-shirts! Some of them are getting $650,000 for world cup matches. I don't understand it. I'm all for showmanship. I invented it. But whatever happened to honour? Q I'm glad we had this time together Mad Dog. A Grrr. Bye bye. Luring a mellow Mad Dog out into the midday sun Maurice (Mad Dog) Vachon is a puppy. Over lunch at Hooters in Toronto, he declines an arm-wresfling challenge. I've been humiliated by women too many times," says Canada's former pre-eminent villain of wrestling. Even his handshake of bent and broken fingers is soft. He needs help to get to his table. (He uses a prosthesis on his right leg and, in the rush to the airport earlier, forgot his cane.) As a senior citizen, he's even afraid of greasy food, which makes him sleepy in the afternoon. "Just coffee," he tells the waitress who has bounced over in knotted T-shirt and satin hot pants. Skipping lunch won't do. So when my fried-fish sandwich arrives, I give him half. Oops. Did he burn his tongue? "A little bit on top, but not enough to bother the Mad Dog," he says affably, also accepting half my fries, coleslaw and my advice never to do an interview on an empty stomach. With his oft-broken nose, gap-toothed scowl, shining dome and coal-black beard, he still looks like the cartoonish character that enraged generations of wrestling fans. "Of course," he says, when asked if he dyes his beard. "Seventy years old. You think my beard's like this?" He doesn't actually turn 70 until Sept. 1. Since separating amicably five years earlier from his third wife, Kathie, a hairdresser from Omaha, Neb., he dyes his beard himself. "It's not out of vanity. I go to shows. So I have to look like the Mad Dog." His biggest one-night take was $8,000. Now he's neither rich nor poor. "I'm in between. I have my old-age pension -- thank God for that," says Mad Dog, who lives with a son in Windsor, Ont., works out three times a week and drives a 1986 Caprice Classic. He marvels at the gazillions of dollars men in tights now command, but disapproves of all the sex. "It borders on the pornographic. They show a girl on TV. You see almost everything," says Mad Dog, who was in Toronto to promote Wrestling with the Past, a one-hour special on his life that premieres tonight at 9 on the Comedy Network. In his day, wrestling was just about good, wholesome violence. He earned his nickname in 1961 after he tossed an opponent, a referee and a policeman out of the ring in Portland, Ore. He shaved his head, sharpened his one-liners and was soon snarling all the way to the bank. Mad Dog stomped, slammed and bit. He also gouged out eyes, and not just of his opponents. "The fans try to kill you. I'd have three or four guys around my waist, others coming at you with chairs. When you talk about gouging out their eyes, sometimes I had to do it to survive. Of course," he says, finishing his half of the fish sandwich, "I was the bad guy. I was the villain. I incited the riot." Fans would sometimes challenge him to a fight in a tavern. "Some jerk is going to test you. They think: Maybe it's all fake." But Mad Dog knows the real thing. He finished seventh at the 1948 Olympics in London. He also won a gold medal at the 1950 British Empire Games. Despite his height -- 5 foot 7 -- he was a five-time winner of the American Wrestling Association heavyweight championship. The second of 13 children, he learned English -- and fighting -- in the streets of Montreal. In first grade, he'd come home bleeding from school. Classmates called him Vachon cochon, or Vachon the pig. "It would hurt my feelings." His fa ther, a Policeman, would ask only, "Did you win?" But he couldn't fight his teachers, who rapped his knuckles because he used his left hand. He dropped out at 13. "When I quit school, it was the happiest day of my life." He found jobs on the waterfront, at Eaton's, on a farm. After one street fight too many, his father sent him to the Y for wrestling lessons. At 220 pounds, Mad Dog became famous for beating bigger opponents, including Jesse (The Body) Ventura, then 6 foot 4 and 275 pounds. (Mad Dog's younger brother, Paul (The Butcher) Vachon, and his baby sister, Vivian, also became pro wrestlers, as did his niece, Luna.) By the 1980s, wrestlers were getting bigger -- Hulk Hogan weighed 302 pounds -- and Mad Dog wasn't getting any younger. In 1986, he retired at age 57. The next year, he was hit by a car while jogging near his home in Omaha early one morning. The accident shattered his left leg and forced amputation, below the knee, of his right. Mad Dog had been kicked in the mouth so many times he'd lost half his teeth. But nothing prepared him for the pain of seven operations in 10 days. The accident brought a tidal wave of sympathy from Canadians. Four years later, he considered, then scotched, the idea of running for Parliament, as a liberal and a federalist. (The Butcher ran twice unsuccessfully as a federal NDP candidate.) The brothers were ahead of the curve. After Jesse Ventura was elected governor of Minnesota in 1998, people wore T-shirts that said, "My governor can beat your governor." Mad Dog, naturally, showed up in Minnesota wearing one that said: "I beat your governor." At Hooters, two male customers shyly ask for autographs. A waitress requests one for her customer. "What's your name again?" she asks. Our own waitress announces that our shared $6.99 fish sandwich is on the house. Mad Dog graciously poses for several Polaroids. Then he heads for the men's room to brush his few remaining teeth. I offer him mint dental floss. He accepts, with a smile. ______________________________________________________________________ Okay, that's it for the newspaper articles. On to the show itself, it was really funny. It consisted of Mad Dog & Butcher telling anecdotes about Mad Dog's career. Things often jumped to other old wrestlers or promoters who added in their two cents. So we saw Dick Beyer, Gene Kiniski, Baron von Raschke, Don Owen, Stu Hart, and others. Dick Beyer was a real pervert, which while crude and sort of weird (the show had a content warning) was funny considering his legendary status. He had one moment at the start of the show were he compared putting together a good match to performing well in building a sexual climax. Let's just say he wasn't anywhere near as tactful as I was. They talked about pulling a Mabel on The Great Antonio, when Mad Dog worked in Calgary. So, they jumped between Gino Brito, Mad Dog & Butcher, Stu Hart, and others as the story was told. A Mabel is a prank where the wrestlers get a pretty woman to hit on the new guy in town. The new guy, who has to be desperate for sex for the prank to have maximum effect, would think he finally landed a ring rat. The woman would say she had a friend who was interested in another wrestler, who was in the on the prank. In this case, then, the Great Antonio was told by a Mabel that he should bring Mad Dog with him to a house where the women would be later that evening. As the pulled up, a man came out of the garage with a shotgun and yelled that he had finally caught the guy who was sleeping with his wife. Mad Dog jumped in between and protested, so the guy shot the blank in the gun and Mad Dog went down like he was shot. Antonio turned and ran, racing off through the horses, diving over the barbred wire fences, etc., to get away from this madman. Meanwhile, the whole promotion, with wives and girlfriends, were in the house for the "Mabel party." It was really funny to hear Stu Hart inject his bits into the story. It was also fun to hear Baron von Raschke & Mad Dog talk about their tag team days. This was a really great show for wrestling fans, expecially long time fans or nostalgia buffs. - PPV buy rates, revenue (in millions), and match statistics for the WWF, WCW, and ECW are presented in the following 1998 summary sheet (the PPV draw(s) are listed, as well as the quality matches): Show Data Match Rating Data Show Details Buy Rate Gross Mean Median Peak % >= * * * * WWF 99/04/25: Backlash Steve Austin vs. Rocky Maivia 1.06 $5.09 2.28 * * 1/4 * * * * 1/4 Steve Austin vs. Rocky Maivia 12.5% (1 of 8) 99/03/28: WrestleMania Steve Austin vs. Rocky Maivia 2.3 $12.04 1.13 * 1/4 * * * 1/2 Steve Austin vs. Rocky Maivia 0.0% (0 of 9, no shoot) 99/02/14: St. Valentine's Day Massacre Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon Mankind vs. Rocky Maivia 1.2 $5.33 1.28 * 1/4 * * * 3/4 Mankind vs. Rocky Maivia 0.0% (0 of 8) 99/01/24: Royal Rumble Mankind vs. Rocky Maivia Royal Rumble 1.57 $6.97 1.83 * 1/2 * * * 3/4 Mankind vs. Rocky Maivia 0.0% (0 of 6) Last 6 1.39 $6.56 1.43 1.38 3.58 1.9% (1 of 53) 1999 1.53 $7.36 1.61 1.56 3.81 3.2% (1 of 31) 1998 1.02 $4.42 1.60 1.63 3.65 4.0% (4 of 101) Show Data Match Rating Data Show Details Buy Rate Gross Mean Median Peak % >= * * * * WCW 99/04/11: Spring Stampede Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting 0.6 2.86 2.31 * * 1/2 * * * * 1/4 Juventud Guerrera vs. Blitzkrieg 11.1% (1 of 9) 99/03/14: Uncensored Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan 0.73 $3.48 1.83 * * * * * 1/2 Billy Kidman vs. Mikey Whippreck 0% (0 of 9) 99/02/21: SuperBrawl Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan 1.1 $5.27 1.89 * * 1/2 * * * 1/4 Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page 0% (0 of 9) 99/01/17: Souled Out Bill Goldberg vs. Scott Hall Ric Flair & David Flair vs. Curt Hennig & Barry Windham 0.78 $3.64 1.83 * 1/2 * * * * Billy Kidman vs. Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis 11.1% (1 of 9) Last 6 0.82 $3.8 1.88 2 3.88 5.8% (3 of 52) 1999 0.8 $3.81 1.97 2.13 3.75 5.6% (2 of 36) 1998 0.93 $3.96 1.54 1.73 3.73 4.5% (5 of 111) Show Data Match Rating Data Show Details Buy Rate Gross Mean Median Peak % >= * * * * ECW 99/01/10: Guilty As Charged Shane Douglas vs. Taz 0.2 $0.42 1.68 * * 1/2 * * * 1/2 Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy 0.0% (0 of 7) Last 6 0.22 $0.42 1.93 2 3.42 5.3% (1 of 19) 1999 0.2 $0.42 1.68 2.5 3.5 0.0% (0 of 7) 1998 0.23 $0.43 1.56 1.5 3.00 3.7% (1 of 27) Longer-term data is available. The data now runs back to 1991. A table of wrestlers who have delivered quality matches is also online. - The WWF has King of the Ring on 06/27/99. - The WWF has In Your House on 07/25/99. - Videos: I have posted something about the availability of videos. If you missed it, I'll send it to you in e-mail upon request. ______________________________________________________________________ Thanks to: Masaki Aso. ______________________________________________________________________ If you have any feedback regarding my web pages, please send me e-mail. Don't forget to delete the leading "x" from my e-mail address; that "x" is my web spider spam guard. ______________________________________________________________________