Usenet Year-End Achievement Awards 1991 - Results (Part 1 of 2)

I hope everybody enjoys reading this and that my efforts were
worthwhile. Any format complaints, etc., should be directed to
me in e-mail. Any other feeback can be posted or e-mailed to me.

Herb...

P.S. The complete posting that I had prepared is 80 Kbytes big, and
will get truncated if I post it, so I've split the posting into
two halves, and made two postings.

Now on with the show:
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Usenet Year-End Achievement Awards 1991 - Part 1

Worst Promotional Move: WCW losing Ric Flair
----------------------

Award Description:
To be given the worst move made by a promotion this past year. This
could include giving somebody a push, demoting someone, firing someone,
hiring someone, or anything of a promotional nature.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 38 (= 190 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 32 (= 96 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 31 (= 31 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

18 12 2 128 WCW losing Ric Flair
11 5 2 72 WCW hiring Dusty Rhodes as booker
4 3 5 34 WWF exploiting the war
2 1 8 21 WCW losing Legion of Doom
1 1 1 9 WCW losing Sid Vicious
0 2 2 8 GWF giving two titles to the Patriot
0 2 2 8 WCW losing Mean Mark Callas
1 0 0 5 WWF policy of faces always winning, and heels
only winning by cheating.
1 0 0 5 WWF rushing the Savage & Elizabeth wedding
fiasco angle
0 1 1 4 New Japan going to Baghdad
0 1 0 3 WWF losing Jesse Ventura
0 1 0 3 WCW re-instates the 6-man tag titles
0 1 0 3 Jim Ross mistreating NYC and Paul E. Dangerously
0 1 0 3 WWF losing Ultimate Warrior
0 1 0 3 Van Hammer World Tour
0 0 1 1 WWF only promoting PPVs, and putting only
good non-PPV matches on Prime time
0 0 1 1 WWF not creating new titles to deal with talent
0 0 1 1 USWA having Lawler lose to Awesome Kong,
0 0 1 1 WCW allowing Dustin Rhodes to be undefeated
0 0 1 1 WCW dumping Nikita Koloff
0 0 1 1 WCW pushing The Patriots
0 0 1 1 WCW not firing Jim Herd
0 0 1 1 Letting P.N.News do the WCW GAB promos

Worst Wrestling Show: WCW Great American Bash
--------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the worst wrestling show you saw this year. This could
be a Pay-Per-View, a Clash of Champions, a Saturday Night's Main Event,
or an arena show you attended. We'll avoid syndicated shows for this
award, since when they're bad it's the norm.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 25 (= 125 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 19 (= 57 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 18 (= 18 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

8 2 5 51 WCW Great American Bash
3 3 6 30 WWF WrestleMania
3 3 1 25 WWF Royal Rumble
3 2 1 22 WWF SummerSlam
2 2 2 18 WCW Clash of Champions XIII
1 2 0 11 WCW SuperBrawl
1 2 0 11 WCW Clash of Champions XVI
2 0 0 10 WCW Halloween Havoc
0 2 0 6 WCW Clash of Champions {no number given...}
1 0 0 5 WWF Survivor Series
1 0 0 5 WWF Prime Time Wrestling
0 1 1 4 WCW WrestleWar
0 0 2 2 UWF's Beach Brawl

Worst Organization: WCW
------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the organization/promotion that has the worst product.
This is the organization whose TV and house shows you wouldn't
even think of attending. Probably not even as a freebie.

Last Year's Winner: WWF / AWA (tie)

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 35 (= 175 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 29 (= 87 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 23 (= 23 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

11 5 1 71 WCW
9 6 5 68 AWA
8 6 5 63 WWF
3 2 6 27 USWA
2 3 4 23 UWF
1 3 0 14 IWCCW
0 2 1 7 GWF
1 0 0 5 British Wrestling
0 1 0 3 GWA
0 1 0 3 SAPW
0 0 1 1 GLOW

Worst Angle of The Year: WWF exploiting the war
-----------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the worst angle you've seen in the sport this year.
It may be the worst because of taste or because of execution.

Last Year's Winner: Earthquake breaking Hogan's ribs & get well
card drive / Black Scorpion (tie)

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 37 (= 185 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 30 (= 90 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 29 (= 29 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

14 5 4 89 WWF exploiting the war (whole Hogan-Slaughter
angle)
8 3 2 51 Brian Pillman as Yellow Dog
5 5 7 47 Desperadoes
1 9 7 39 Earthquake fearing/squashing Damien
1 2 3 14 Virgil turns face
2 0 0 10 Jake Roberts turns heel
2 0 0 10 Hardliners
1 0 1 6 Sgt. Slaughter "wants his country back"
1 0 0 5 Van Hammer World Tour
1 0 0 5 Ultimate Warrior not staying dead
1 0 0 5 Paul E. Dangerously always lying
0 1 0 3 Undertaker coffins Ultimate Warrior
0 1 0 3 El Gigante vs. Sid Vicious
0 1 0 3 Freebirds acting homosexual
0 1 0 3 Randy Savage marries Elizabeth
0 1 0 3 Randy Savage retires
0 1 0 3 Ricky Morton and Tommy Rich turn heel to join
York Foundation
0 0 1 1 Dustin Rhodes, El Gigante, and P.N.News portrayed
as competent
0 0 1 1 Skyscrapers reuniting for only 1 match
0 0 1 1 Lex Luger as heel champion
0 0 1 1 Jake Roberts gets a cobra
0 0 1 1 The Gobbledygooker

Worst Interviewee: El Gigante
-----------------

Award Description:
To be given to the person who gives the worst interview in the biz.
This could be a wrestler or a manager.

Last Year's Winner: Ultimate Warrior

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 37 (= 185 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 31 (= 93 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 31 (= 31 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

13 3 2 76 El Gigante
8 2 3 49 Ultimate Warrior
2 3 3 22 Jim Duggan
1 3 4 18 Jimmy Snuka
1 3 0 14 Hulk Hogan
1 3 0 14 Firebreaker Chip
0 4 1 13 Virgil
2 0 2 12 Mr. Fuji
1 2 1 12 Warlord
2 0 1 11 Sid Justice
0 2 4 10 Steiners
0 2 2 8 Irwin R. Shyster
1 0 0 5 Randy Savage
1 0 0 5 Robert Gibson
1 0 0 5 Berzerker
1 0 0 5 Undertaker
1 0 0 5 Davey Boy Smith
1 0 0 5 Bushwhackers
0 1 0 3 Nikita Koloff
0 1 0 3 Bobby Eaton
0 1 0 3 Pat Tanaka
0 1 0 3 P.N.News
0 0 1 1 Bob Backlund
0 0 1 1 Zap (IWCCW)
0 0 1 1 Andre The Giant
0 0 1 1 Diamond Studd
0 0 1 1 Greg Valentine
0 0 1 1 Rick Steamboat
0 0 1 1 Tom Zenk
0 0 1 1 Sting

Worst Colour Commentator: Dusty Rhodes
------------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the colour commentator who provides the dumbest comments.
You may even turn the sound off when this person is talking.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 38 (= 190 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 33 (= 99 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 29 (= 29 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

19 5 0 110 Dusty Rhodes
6 6 7 55 Lord Alfred Hayes
4 8 3 47 Jim Neidhart
3 4 3 30 Vince McMahon
2 0 3 13 Jim Ross
1 1 2 10 Roddy Piper
0 2 3 9 Magnum T.A.
1 1 1 9 Missy Hyatt
1 1 1 9 Paul E. Dangerously
0 1 3 6 Randy Savage
1 0 0 5 Jimmy Hart
0 1 0 3 Diamond Dallas Page
0 1 0 3 Tony Schiavone
0 1 0 3 Honky Tonk Man
0 1 0 3 Jim Duggan
0 0 1 1 Bruno Sammartino
0 0 1 1 Scott Hudson
0 0 1 1 The USWA guy from Spring 1991

Worst Announcer: Vince McMahon
---------------

Award Description:
To be given to the commentator/announcer who makes the dumbest comments
while pushing his product. This person probably gets you to turn down
the TV when he/she is announcing.

Last Year's Winner: Vince McMahon

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 38 (= 190 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 31 (= 93 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 28 (= 28 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

13 9 2 94 Vince McMahon
13 5 6 86 Sean Mooney
8 2 3 49 Jim Ross
1 4 0 17 Eric Bischoff
1 2 4 15 Roddy Piper
0 4 3 15 Gorilla Monsoon
2 0 1 11 Randy Savage
0 1 2 5 Diamond Dallas Page
0 1 1 4 Tony Schiavone
0 1 1 4 Lance Russell
0 1 0 3 Gene Okerlund
0 1 0 3 Lord Alfred Hayes
0 0 1 1 The USWA guy from Spring 1991
0 0 1 1 Craig Johnson (GWF)
0 0 1 1 Dusty Rhodes
0 0 1 1 Herb Abrams
0 0 1 1 Gordon Solie

Worst Manager of The Year: Coach
-------------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the manager whose presence at ringside and during
interviews is really unnecessary. This person does little to enhance
the matches in which is/her wrestler(s) participates.

Last Year's Winner: Mr. Fuji

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 37 (= 185 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 32 (= 96 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 31 (= 31 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

6 11 6 69 Coach
9 3 5 59 Mr. Fuji
11 0 1 56 Andre The Giant
6 2 3 39 Slick
3 5 4 34 Harvey Whimpleman
1 2 1 12 Big Daddy Dink
0 2 3 9 Alexandra York
0 2 3 9 Harley Race
0 2 0 6 General Adnon
1 0 0 5 Jonathan Blue
0 1 1 4 Sherri Martel
0 1 0 3 The Genius Lanny Poffo
0 1 0 3 Sapphire
0 0 2 2 Jimmy Hart
0 0 1 1 Vivacious Veronica
0 0 1 1 The Ice Baby, Jamie Dundee (USWA)

And now, some mock awards based on the spoken word:

Worst Quotes of The Year
1. "From nuptials to napalm" - Gene Okerland
2. "He's got him in a pinning predicament" - Jim Ross

Worst Announcing Line of The Year:
"Teddy Long's out buying condoms" - Dusty Rhodes at CoC XIV, meaning
"condos" and referring to Doom's financial success

Best Quotes of The Year
1. "Reach out for me, Warrior. I'm a snake. Never trust a snake!"
- Jake Roberts
2. "And all the Ultimate Warrior has to do is the one thing you
and the Undertaker could never do. TRUST ME. Trust me, Warrior!"
- Jake Roberts
3. "Get him, boys!" - Mountie (to Nasty Boys)
4. "Well, that's your opinion. But your opinion means nothing to
THE REAL WORLD CHAMPION, RIC FLAIR" - Bobby Heenan
5. "I'm just trying to be hoSPITable. Isn't that one of those Texas
words, hoSPITable?" - The Boston Bad Boy (IWCCW)
6. "And you, Ultimate Warrior, are the biggest rabbit of them all!"
- Jake Roberts

Least Intelligible Wrestling Personality:
1. Randy Savage
2. Ultimate Warrior

Best Interviewer:
1. Mean Gene Okerland
2. Roddy Piper
3. Boni Blackstone

Best Interview Catch Phrase:
1. To be the man you have to beat the man!
2. Ooooooh Yeah!
3. What a rush!

And some other mock awards:

Worst Trick Played Upon The Innocent: Herb's April Fools Day card with
WCW, WWF, All Japan, New Japan, SWS etc., co-promoting.

Vince's Best Move All Year: Having LOD win the WWF belts

Vince's Most Mysterious Move All Year: The Mystery PPV After Survivor Series

Run DMC, Not Award: P.N.News

Defending Champion of Bandwith award: Sean Ryan

Bandwidth Title: Sean Ryan

Best Promotional Move: WWF signing Ric Flair
---------------------

Award Description:
To be given the best move made by a promotion this past year. This
could include giving somebody a push, demoting someone, firing someone,
hiring someone, or anything of a promotional nature.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 38 (= 190 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 32 (= 96 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 29 (= 29 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

29 3 0 154 WWF signing Ric Flair
1 13 4 48 WWF signing Sid Justice
3 4 2 29 WCW & New Japan doing joint shows
2 1 0 13 GWF signing Terry Gordy
1 0 7 12 WCW creating Lightheavyweight
division led by Brian Pillman
1 1 4 12 WCW signing Cactus Jack & Abdullah
0 2 2 8 GWF signing Cactus Jack Manson
0 2 2 8 GWF creates Jr. Heavyweight title and gives
it to Lightning Kid
1 0 2 7 WCW firing Ole Anderson as booker
0 1 0 3 WWF dumping Dusty & Dustin Rhodes
0 1 0 3 WCW using Oz as a jobber
0 1 0 3 GWF forms
0 1 0 3 WWF signing Legion of Doom
0 1 0 3 TWA promoting Cactus Jack vs. Eddie Gilbert
0 1 0 3 WCW signing Madusa Miceli
0 0 2 2 WWF firing Ultimate Warrior
0 0 1 1 WWF turns Jake Roberts Heel
0 0 1 1 Earthquake squashing Damien
0 0 1 1 WCW signing Kevin Sullivan
0 0 1 1 GWF signing ESPN contract

Best Wrestling Show: WCW & New Japan Supershow PPV, 3/21/91, (aired on tape)
-------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the best wrestling show you saw this year. This could
be a Pay-Per-View, any regular television event (Clash of Champions,
Saturday Night's Main Event, or even a syndicated show), or even an arena
event you attended.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 28 (= 140 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 20 (= 60 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 19 (= 19 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

11 3 1 65 WCW & New Japan SuperShow PPV, 3/21/91
(aired on tape)
2 5 2 27 Clash of Champions XVI, September 5th, 1991
2 4 4 26 WCW WrestleWar 1991 PPV
3 0 0 15 Clash of Champions {no number specified...}
1 1 2 10 WWF Royal Rumble 1991
0 2 3 9 WWF SummerSlam 1991
1 1 0 8 Saturday Night's Main Event, April 27th, 1991
(Battle Royal; Warrior vs. Slaughter)
1 0 0 5 UWF - TV match when Orndorff and Willimas
got into a bloody brawl
1 0 0 5 WCW SuperBrawl PPV
1 0 0 5 WWF Superstars of Wrestling
1 0 0 5 WWF Prime Time Wrestling
1 0 0 5 WWF European Rampage
1 0 0 5 All Japan Women's 5/19/91 TV
1 0 0 5 Estrellas de la Lucha Libre (CMLL) - every week
1 0 0 5 TWA Summer Sizzler - Philadelphia, Pa
- August 2nd, 1991
0 1 1 4 Clash of Champions XV, June 12th, 1991
0 1 0 3 TWA Winter Challenge, 3/2
0 1 0 3 WWF & SWS WrestleFest
0 1 0 3 WWF UK Rampage
0 0 1 1 WWF house Show in June (/w LOD/Nasties
& Bret Hart/Barbarian)
0 0 1 1 AWA Classics
0 0 1 1 TWA Eddie Gilbert-Cactus Jack tripleheader,
0 0 1 1 TWA PineHill Punishment - PineHill, NJ - Oct.
26, 1991
0 0 1 1 GWF on ESPN
0 0 1 1 WCW at Meadowlands 1/11/91 (Flair vs. Sting)

Best Organization: WWF
-----------------

Award Description:
To be given to the organization/promotion that has the best product.
This is the organization whose TV and house shows you just can't miss.

Last Year's Winner: NWA

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 34 (= 170 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 26 (= 78 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 25 (= 25 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

11 9 3 85 WWF
7 7 6 62 WCW
7 5 6 56 GWF
2 3 1 20 New Japan
2 0 0 10 UWF
2 0 0 10 TWA
2 0 0 10 All Japan Women
1 0 1 6 CMLL
0 1 1 4 IWCCW
0 0 3 3 USWA
0 1 0 3 LPWA
0 0 1 1 All Japan
0 0 1 1 AWA
0 0 1 1 PWA
0 0 1 1 IWF

Best Angle of The Year: "Real World Champion" Ric Flair challenges Hulk Hogan
----------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the best angle you've seen in the sport this year.

Last Year's Winner: Horsemen turn heel

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 36 (= 180 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 28 (= 84 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 25 (= 25 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

16 11 2 115 "Real World Champion" Ric Flair challenges
Hulk Hogan
9 7 5 71 Jake Roberts turns heel
5 2 8 39 Sting gets presents with Abdullah and Cactus
Jack inside
3 0 0 15 Undertaker coffins Ultimate Warrior
1 2 3 14 Richard Morton turns heel
1 0 1 6 Ric Flair chairs Roddy Piper brawl
1 0 0 5 Lex Luger & friends beating up Barry Windham
& Ron Simmons
0 1 0 3 Tugboat turns heel
0 1 0 3 Rick Steiner pins Lex Luger in impromptu battle
0 1 0 3 WWF war angle
0 1 0 3 Earthquake squashes Damien
0 1 0 3 Lex Luger turns heel
0 1 0 3 Randy Savage marries Elizabeth
0 0 1 1 Bret Hart wins WWF IC Title
0 0 1 1 Andre The Giant gets crippled
0 0 1 1 Barry Windham turns face
0 0 1 1 Four Horsemen go "back to the basics"
0 0 1 1 Robert Fuller turns face
0 0 1 1 Sgt. Slaughter "wants his country back"

Best Interviewee: Ric Flair
----------------

Award Description:
To be given to the person who gives the best interview in the biz.
This could be a wrestler or a manager.

Last Year's Winner: Ric Flair

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 39 (= 195 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 31 (= 93 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 31 (= 31 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

21 6 2 125 Ric Flair
3 6 2 35 Cactus Jack Manson
5 1 7 35 Legion of Doom
4 3 2 31 Enforcers
2 6 2 30 Jake Roberts
2 1 4 17 Randy Savage
1 2 3 14 Scotty The Body Anthony
0 2 1 7 Buddy Landell
1 0 0 5 Sgt. Slaughter
0 1 0 3 Undertaker
0 1 0 3 Steiners
0 1 0 3 Hulk Hogan
0 0 3 3 Curt Hennig
0 1 0 3 Jim Cornette
0 0 1 1 Eddie Gilbert
0 0 1 1 Earthquake
0 0 1 1 Fabuloso Blondy
0 0 1 1 Roddy Piper
0 0 1 1 Bobby Heenan

Best Colour Commentator: Bobby Heenan
-----------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the colour commentator who provides the most insightful
and entertaining comments.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 38 (= 190 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 31 (= 93 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 28 (= 28 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

22 2 0 116 Bobby Heenan
3 9 7 49 Randy Savage
4 5 2 37 Roddy Piper
0 5 4 19 Scotty The Body Anthony
2 2 0 16 Jim Cornette
1 1 6 14 Paul E. Dangerously
2 1 0 13 Larry Zbyszko
0 2 5 11 Michael Hayes
2 0 0 10 Jesse Ventura
1 1 0 8 Dutch Mantell
0 1 2 5 Tony Schiavone
1 0 0 5 Gordon Solie
0 1 0 3 Dr. Tom Pritchard (USWA)
0 1 0 3 Lord Alfred Hayes
0 0 1 1 Jim Garvin
0 0 1 1 The Boston Bad Boy (IWCCW)

Best Announcer: Jesse Ventura
--------------

Award Description:
To be given to the commentator/announcer who makes the most insightful
and entertaining comments while pushing his product.

Last Year's Winner: Jesse Ventura

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 38 (= 190 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 29 (= 87 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 28 (= 28 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

14 3 4 83 Jesse Ventura
6 5 5 50 Gorilla Monsoon
6 3 6 45 Jim Ross
3 7 3 39 Tony Schiavone
4 4 1 33 Gordon Solie
0 3 3 12 Vince McMahon
1 1 2 10 Lord Alfred Hayes
1 1 1 9 Craig Johnson (GWF)
1 0 0 5 Randy Savage
1 0 0 5 Herb Abrams (UWF)
1 0 0 5 Bobby Heenan
0 1 1 4 Lance Russell
0 1 0 3 Dr. Tom Pritchard (USWA)
0 0 1 1 Roddy Piper
0 0 1 1 The Boston Bad Boy (IWCCW)

Best Manager of The Year: Bobby Heenan
------------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the manager who outperformed his peers at ringside
and behind the microphone in interviews.

Last Year's Winner: Jim Cornette

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 36 (= 180 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 30 (= 90 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 27 (= 27 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

17 6 2 105 Bobby Heenan
10 9 3 80 Jim Cornette
4 6 4 42 Paul Bearer
2 1 2 15 Jimmy Hart
1 0 4 9 Sherri Martel
0 2 2 8 Theodore R. Long
1 0 2 7 Diamond Dallas Page
0 1 4 7 Kevin Sullivan
0 2 0 6 Paul E. Dangerously
1 0 0 5 Harley Race
0 1 1 4 The Genius Lanny Poffo
0 1 1 4 Elizabeth
0 1 0 3 Lady Blossom
0 0 1 1 Tojo Yamamoto
0 0 1 1 The Boston Bad Boy (IWCCW)

And now, some more mock awards:

Best Scenes of The Year
1. Jake-UW III: Jake Roberts turns on Ultimate Warrior
2. Mountie sicks Nasty Boys on Big Boss Man
3. Tugboat turns on Bushwhackers and joins Jimmy Hart family
4. Paul E. Dangerously whacks Jason Hervey with his cellular phone
5. Ric Flair whacks Roddy Piper; Piper whacks Vince McMahon
6. Earthquake jumps on Damien

The "hint at it 5 months early" Award: Virgil face-turn

Most Needs to Get Back to His UWF Roots: Terry Taylor

The "extracurricular activity outside the ring"
Award: Cactus Jack & Stan Hansen (tie)

You Ain't Getting Your Country Back Award: Sgt. Slaughter

The Two Wrestlers Who Should Have Buildings Dropped On
Them: Koko B. Ware and Jim Duggan

Worst Tag Team Ever Dreamt Up: Bushwackers

LOD's Mistake: Letting Paul Ellering get away from them

Dream Match award: Cage match, with cage over roof; no DQ, no time limit,
must be a pinfall or submission. Who else? Hogan vs. Flair

The "I'll jump from a skyscraper in a single bound to drop a BIG elbow
or other body part on you" Award: Cactus Jack

The "you saw what happened to GLOW" Award: WCW starting women's wrestling

Most Obnoxious Personality: Dusty Rhodes
--------------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the person who just rubs you the wrong way. This could
be anybody involved in the wrestling biz.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 38 (= 190 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 33 (= 99 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 30 (= 30 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

8 4 1 53 Dusty Rhodes
5 5 6 46 Vince McMahon
2 3 2 21 Coach
2 3 2 21 Jim Duggan
3 1 2 20 Irwin R. Shyster
1 4 3 20 Hulk Hogan
2 2 1 17 Brother Love
2 1 0 13 Larry Zbyszko
2 1 0 13 The Mountie
1 2 1 12 Sting
2 0 0 10 Dustin Rhodes
2 0 0 10 P.N.News
1 1 1 9 Ultimate Warrior
1 1 1 9 Sean Mooney
0 2 0 6 Sherri Martel
1 0 0 5 Sgt. Slaughter
1 0 0 5 Bushwhackers
1 0 0 5 Stan Hansen
1 0 0 5 Jim Ross
0 1 1 4 Roddy Piper
0 1 0 3 Johnny B. Badd
0 1 0 3 Mr. Fuji
0 0 2 2 General Adnon
0 0 2 2 Lord Alfred Hayes
0 0 1 1 Big Boss Man
0 0 1 1 Christopher Love
0 0 1 1 Diamond Dallas Page
0 0 1 1 Paul Bearer
0 0 1 1 Harvey Whimpleman

Most Disappointing News Item of The Year: Scott Steiner gets injured
----------------------------------------

Award Description:
To be given to the wrestling news item that most disappointed
you when heard of it. When you first learned of this news story,
you couldn't believe that it was true, and when you learned that it was,
you were bummed out for a while.

Last Year's Winner: N/A

Participation Statistics:
Total 1st Place Voters = 36 (= 180 points)
Total 2nd Place Voters = 31 (= 93 points)
Total 3rd Place Voters = 27 (= 27 points)

Results:

1st 2nd 3rd Score

9 8 7 76 Scott Steiner gets injured
10 2 3 59 Dusty Rhodes hired as WCW booker
4 5 1 36 WCW losing Ric Flair; WWF gets him
5 2 4 35 Randy Savage retires
2 2 4 20 Freebirds lose WCW Tag Titles before they
win them
0 3 2 11 Hulk Hogan wins the WWF Title and doesn't
retire afterall
0 3 0 9 Curt Hennig gets injured
1 0 0 5 NWA becoming the WCW
1 0 0 5 Rockers give notice to WWF
1 0 0 5 WCW losing Nikita Koloff
1 0 0 5 Mountie will lose at Summer Slam
1 0 0 5 El Gigante still wrestling
1 0 0 5 Chris von Erich commits suicide
0 1 1 4 Hulk Hogan will most likely beat Ric Flair
at WM
0 1 0 3 WCW fires Dan Spivey for being honest about
0 1 0 3 WWF losing Jesse Ventura
0 1 0 3 Dusty Rhodes not being injured or crippled
0 1 0 3 Steve DiSalvo has a heart attack
0 1 0 3 Legion of Doom becomes soft
0 0 3 3 Shawn Michaels gets injured
0 0 1 1 Madusa Miceli drops John Price for Rick Rude
0 0 1 1 No new LPWA shows?

Still more mock awards:

Best Entrance Music:
1. Freebirds "Badstreet USA"
2. Bobby Eaton's
3. Doom's

Worst Entrance Music:
1. Patriot's
2. Dustin Rhodes's
3. El Gigante's

Best Entrance Music Ever Used: Ironman for the Road Warriors

Champion Hall Of Fame:
Tag Champions: The Road Warriors/LOD
Singles Champion : Ric Flair

Something is Still Missing From The Old Days Award: Nikita Koloff

MIA Award: Paul Ellering, Tully Blanchard, Ultimate Warrior

Match To Have If You Are Out of Sleeping Pills And HAVE To Get To Sleep
To Sleep: Anything with Richard Morton as a team with Tommy Rich

Are You Sure They Can't Get Back Together SOMEWHERE?: Midnight Express

Find Me a Real Tag-team Partner, Please: Arn Anderson

Wrestler Who Should Get Both Knees Broken by a
Certain Ex-NWA Champion: Hulk Hogan

Happened Many Years Ago But is Still a Shame: Magnum TA accident

Best Video Game: WWF WrestleFest

The "1,2,3 we have a new champ, no he kicked out, ohh I've orgasmed" award:
I've orgasmed" Award: Vince McMahon

Best Juicer
1. Ric Flair
2. Barry Windham
3. Cactus Jack Manson

AWA Memorial Award: GWF

Best Manager/Wrestler Combo
1. Macho Man & Elizabeth
2. Midnight Express & Jim Cornette
3. York Foundation & Alexandra York

Worst Manager/Wrestler Combo
1. Harvey Whimpleman & Bully Busick
2. Lex Lugar & Harley Race
3. Warlord & Slick

I second that! (you bastard!) :-)

Is there anyone with the skill, determination, and intestinal fortitude
that can take on and strip this punk of his Belts??

Don't forget Koko's bird Frankie (oh great, now I'll probably get
hate mail from those damn animal rights activists)

Make it just by submission. We have to give Flair a fighting chance
against the all-powerful, career-ending Leg Drop of Doom [tm].

Ive always been partial to the way Flair plays up to the theme from
2001. Great music! (I think both Hennig and Steve Austin have tried
to copy his style, but Austin isn't even close)

Goddamn, I laughed so hard after reading this, the people around
me thought I was on a controlled substance. :-)

========================= Fluffy the Wonder Bunny ============================
Sex is not the answer, sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
==============================================================================
The U.S. has George Bush, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Stevie Wonder.
Canada has Brian Mulroney, No Cash, No Hope...No Wonder.
==============================================================================
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and
I wondered, "Where the FUCK is my ROOF ?!?"
================== cadesj...@descartes.waterloo.edu =======================

I don't know. Can *you* drink that much beer and still type?

Bruce
:)

--
Bruce W. Onder on...@isi.edu

The film "Dead Women in Lingerie" is rated R, and not G,
as was previously reported.

Sure - anyone can!

Oh - you mean type *words*... :)

Johnster

John Price * * * * pr...@uclapp.physics.ucla.edu
Only Nixon could go to China.
--Ancient Vulcan Proverb

Someone may just have their chance. I'm planning on decreasing my
already limited involvement on the net, and may not be around at all for
the next 6-8 weeks. Details are forthcoming.

***************************************************************
Sean Patrick Ryan Bitnet: FSSPR@ALASKA
Internet: fs...@acad2.alaska.edu On IRC: Aoxomoxoa
Snail: P.O. Box 240554, Anchorage, AK 99524-0554

"You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating
fruit loops on your front porch!" - ST