Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #204 October 11th, 1999 The Opening Word: Again, apologies for having the Recap out so late last week. Of course I'm late with it again this week, so do I suck or what? Two stories worth mentioning this week. The first is the condition of Darren Drozdov. Reports are filtering in that he is slowly improving, with the WWF apparently going so far as to tell the crowd at the SmackDown! taping that Droz has regained some feeling back in his legs. No one knows yet if he'll ever wrestle again, but I suppose that's the last thing we should be worrying about. Droz seems to be in good spirits, and his family has thanked the fans via the WWF's website for all their support. The big story in wrestling this week is the one about Hulk Hogan giving 90 day's notice to WCW. I first heard of it over the weekend, and from there tracked down a few sites carrying the story. The Live Audio Wrestling (LAW) site seems to be the ones who broke it. Over the next few days the big wrestling sites all touched upon it, but could neither confirm or deny it, until after Nitro aired on Monday. With Hogan himself alluding to the rumor on the air, lots of people came out of the woodwork to confirm, contribute, and generally feed the story to massive proportions. With all that said, the general consensus seems to be that this is all a work on Hogan and WCW's part. It does appear as if Hogan did indeed give his official notice, but that's pretty much irrelevant. All that means is Hogan can, 90 days from whenever he gave the notice (as long as two or three weeks ago, some say), pack up his bags and leave WCW. Or he can stay. He just had to give his notice at that time so that he could walk out the door. He can just as easily close that door himself without ever going through it. The point of all this seems to be to draw the Internet fans into paying more attention to Hogan. They figure if they can get us interested, then whatever the next big Hogan angle is down the road, we'll be more receptive to that. Who are they trying to kid?! Most likely this is all leading to Hogan "quitting", then coming back at part of the new NWO with Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. I only mention that scenario because it's the only one that's the slightest bit interesting (and just barely at that). Let's be honest here, friends. There IS NO storyline right now of any kind involving Hogan that's the least bit interesting. Hulkamania died in 1991, yet he kept dragging around the corpse for another five years. Going heel and forming the New World Order revived his career ... for about six weeks, and the wheels came off the NWO wagon sometime in late 1997. His string of "retirements", Presidential bids, and even a babyface turn have all been embarrassments, and has seen him reach a point where anything involving him draws lower ratings than ANYTHING the WWF does over on the other channel. Hulkamania is dead. It's busted, out of gas, has a flat tire, is taking on water, has smoke coming out of its engine ... Hogan's best bet would be to truly leave WCW, and try to get into the WWF, where leaching off the careers of Steve Austin, the Rock, and others could help keep his career going ... for another six weeks or so. One can't deny that Hogan is a smart man, though. His intellect is the one thing that's kept him in the business this long. Without it, he might well have been a part of that "Heroes of Wrestling" fiasco on PPV this past weekend. God knows that talent-wise, that's where he belongs. Jeez, I didn't start off meaning to sound that bitter. Where'd THAT come from? Guess maybe I just saw the light, or something? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Biloxi, Mississippi. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Three bell salute for Robert "'Gorilla' Monsoon" Marella. - Bret Hart and Chris Benoit pull up in a car. They get hassled by Lex Luger and Elizabeth. Liz gets me all hot by acting real bitchy, saying someone from immigration should check out these two guys. - WCW logo, opening, "Last Week" video, etc. - Bobby Heenan takes a moment to say goodbye to his old friend, "Gorilla" Monsoon. - We're backstage, where Dean Malenko wants some answers from Perry Saturn. Saturn says it's all a big misunderstanding, and that he was just defending himself from Rey Mysterio last week. Saturn says to think of the Revolution. - SATURN vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR. Saturn wins by DQ when Kidman runs in. Shane Douglas tried to interfere on Saturn's behalf moments earlier, but Malenko came out and stopped him. Kidman challenges Douglas to a tag team match. I'd be lying if I said I was interested in any of this. Sorry. - Meng video package. Didn't they show this the last time they pushed Meng? Looks like it. Then, to make things weird, they cut to Ric Flair and Arn Anderson being all impressed by Meng. - DISCO INFERNO vs. KAZ HAYASHI I'm torn over Disco. On the one hand they do seem to be putting some emphasis into his character. On the other hand, they've already done that four or five times in the last couple of years. The problem, then, is they seem to forget about him, and stop doing it after a few weeks. Disco, like Meng, is one of those guys WCW keeps recycling. Push him for a while, job him all to hell, then try to push him again. (Say, where is Ernest Miller anyway?) Disco (henceforth to be known as "D.I.", at his request) wins this one with the Chartbuster. He tells the cameraman that the Cruiserweight Division is easy. Some guy somewhere won something. - MENG vs. KONNAN Semi-squash. Meng with the Tongan Death Grip. Berlyn's (unnamed) bodyguard attacks Brad Armstrong. Armstrong tries to fight back, but is stopped by WCW officials. - Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are back in the house. Not looking quite as drunk as last week, they still end up saying the same stuff to Bobby Heenan. I guess we can count on seeing some variation of this every week until Russo figures out an angle for them. - GOLDBERG vs. HORACE HOGAN Sid confronts Goldberg on the way to the ring and a battle of wits ensues. Neither man wins. Goldberg continues on and does his usual against the hapless Horace. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan. "Mean" Gene brings up the Internet rumors about Hogan, but the Hulkster more-or-less ignores it and launches into The Same Damned Interview As Always. Hogan also directs a comment to "the guys in the back", which means nothing concrete, but sure adds fuel to the rumor fire. - Nitro Girl Search. Backstage, Kidman has just gotten hot sex from Torrie Wilson (if I'm reading things right). David Flair happens along (he must live in one of those WCW equipment trucks, roving from arena to arena). He wants to know what's up, but Torrie gives him the cold shoulder. Torrie's hot and all that, but it's hard to be all that interested when she only works for this company about ninety seconds total a month. - BRIAN KNOBBS (w/ Jimmy Hart & Hugh Morrus) vs. STEVIE RAY (w/ Booker T.) Some interference by Hart with a garbage can gives Knobbs the win. If Kevin Sullivan or Dusty Rhodes are doing the booking for Nitro, I bet this is their handiwork. - Members of the Revolution hit the ring. Douglas wants to know where Malenko's head is it, and what's the deal with Benoit hanging around with Hart? Benoit asks Douglas who he thinks he is to be questioning what he does. Off comes the Revolution shirt, and Benoit walks out of the group. Saturn blubbers that Douglas ruined the group by opening his big mouth. Malenko says he'll stand by Saturn tonight, and plans on taking the Revolution back to what it was when it started. - LA PARKA vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG Berlyn beats up Armstrong, while the bodyguard takes out La Parka. The ref misses all this, and an unconscious Armstrong gets the pin because his arm is across La Parka's chest. Now Torrie's talking it up backstage with Curt Hennig as "Curly" Bill (Vincent) looks on. David Flair wanders by, says the wrong thing, and gets punked out by Hennig. - BERLYN (w/ Bodyguard) vs. NORMAN SMILEY Oh, for Pete's sake, who is supposed to be interested in this crap? I believe this mark's Berlyn's first clean win, as Smiley has the advantage, but pauses to Smack His Bitch Up. Berlyn with the reverse neckbreaker. - "Mean" Gene. Ric Flair. Challenge to Curt Hennig. Flair says he'd like to take a shot at Kimberly, too. Huh? Focus, Nature Boy, focus. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - SATURN/DEAN MALENKO (w/ Shane Douglas) vs. KIDMAN/REY MYSTERIO, JR. The cynic in me says WCW is just reusing these guys tonight to boost up their "workrate total" (in the same way the WWF uses the Rock a lot to, well ... get high ratings). It's the 1980's all over again, as Douglas tosses Saturn a chain to use on Kidman, getting the pin. Douglas has Revolution t-shirts for all, but Malenko sees the replay on the big screen, tears up his shirt, and stalks off. The Revolution is dead. - Goldberg video package. - SID vs. HAMMER Rick Steiner comes out, the referee goes down, and Hammer takes a double powerbomb. The ref comes to and counts the pin. - Mike Tenay joins the team to talk up last week's Benoit/Hart match. Then, in a shameful ratings ploy (well, what would you call it?), they replay lengthy clips from the match. Why does WCW think CLIPS of the match would do any better than the actual match did last week? I thought I was watching Nitro here, not Thunder. Coming soon: Dustin Rhodes as the illegitimate son of the Undertaker and the Black Scorpion. - RIC FLAIR vs. CURT HENNIG (w/ "Curly" Bill) We've seen this match a dozen times, though they do try to spice it up by doing a bit down on the floor at the announcer's table. David Flair is out to counter interference by "Curly" Bill, and Flair rolls up Hennig for the pin. - LEX LUGER/RICK STEINER (w/ Liz) vs. BRET "HITMAN" HART/CHRIS BENOIT The show's close to running over now, and everyone is clearly rushing to finish up before it goes too long. Steiner takes some punishment and is nearly pinned, until Sid comes in, causing a weak DQ. Goldberg comes out. Sid warns him that he has that restraining order against him, and if Goldberg touches him, he loses his U.S. Title shot at Halloween Havoc. Goldberg spears him anyway. The crowd and announcers go nuts as they fade out. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: This show really turned me off. If I had to pick one major complaint, it's that huge stretches of the show took place in the ring, in matches I couldn't give a damn about. Why have the first match of the night go nearly ten minutes, knowing full well that you'd be 1) doing a DQ finish, and 2) bringing the competitors back for a tag team match later in the night? A few other matches ran over ten minutes. Even the squashes seemed to run too long. One could argue the crap matches were kept short, but do too many crap matches and they add up. Meng vs. Konnan? Knobbs vs. Stevie Ray? La Parka vs. Armstrong? Smiley vs. Berlyn? BLEAGH! Okay, so maybe I've been conditioned to the WWF's 90 second matches. Still, if the WWF tried to put on a three hour card, in which half the matches were like Al Snow vs. Midian for eight minutes each, fans would be organizing bus trips to storm Titan Towers with torches and pitchforks. I bet I watched all of ten minutes of the show live this week, with most of that coming during the first hour. It's as if WCW has decided "okay, the other guys do 'sports entertainment,' so we'll do 'wrestling.'" That's all well and good, to differentiate yourself from the competition, but for God's sake, figure out a way to do it so that it isn't so mind-numbingly boring! I'll pick up on this thread a bit later. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Atlanta, Georgia. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - "Gorilla" Monsoon tribute video. - Vince McMahon is out to soak up the cheers of the monstrous Georgia Dome crowd, and to introduce "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Austin is quickly on hand to talk some smack about Triple H, using words that would normally be censored. Triple H is out to grace us with his presence, spitting water and ignoring the "asshole!" chant from the fans. More words are exchanged, but the censor has finally arrived, and good chunks of it are being indiscriminately muted out. Triple H hits the ringside area, not to confront Austin, but to harass Jim Ross. A smack sends Ross' hat flying. J.R. snaps. Off comes the headset. He grabs a plastic fan and NAILS TRIPLE H IN THE BACK. OH HELL, YEAH! Austin save Ross from certain death, laying into Triple H, bouncing him around the ringside area. Back in the ring Austin calls Ross in. J.R. obliges, getting in a punch to Helmsley's gut as Austin holds him in place. Out comes Chyna. Spear on Ross. Austin grabs Chyna by the hair, looks to the crowd for approval, then decks her. Up the ramp she goes, joining Triple H, who throws out a challenge to a tag team match between himself & Chyna, and Austin & J.R. Austin accepts. Ross looks quite worried to have been dragged into a World Wrestling Federation match. Jerry Lawler has a good time during all this, wondering if Ross has lost his mind. Someone has set up a dog pen backstage, filled with bulldogs who are crapping all over the place. Whuh? - Mankind has something to say to the Rock, whenever he shows up. - "MR. ASS" BILLY GUNN (w/ Road Dogg) vs. CRASH HOLLY (w/ Hardcore Holly) Total squash. Gunn with the FameAsser in under a minute. Michael Cole gets comments from Mankind re: the Rock & Sock Connection. - IVORY vs. MAE YOUNG Ivory does a pre-match rant about how Young and the Fabulous Moolah have her always looking over her shoulder. The match itself is a joke, with Ivory being DQ'ed for a belt shot before Mae can even get her crown(?) off. Moolah then comes out and tosses Ivory around. Yet another look at Mankind. The Rock phones in from his limo, saying he's nearly there. - Terry Taylor asks the British Bulldog about the poop-filled dog pen. It's not his. - Michael Hayes conducts an interview (pretaped) with Stephanie and Shane McMahon. Stephanie says she can't remember anything following her injury at the hands of the British Bulldog. She has to write down things that she did just to remember them. This show was supposed to be her wedding, but right now she can't even remember anything about Andre "Test" Martin. Shane says something about knowing "who's to blame" that makes me think he's not talking about the Bulldog. Mankind, still waiting for the Rock, is jumped by Val Venis. Mark Henry and his sex therapist arrive. Don't ask. - THE BROOD vs. EDGE/CHRISTIAN Match #3 of the "Terri Invitational Tournament" ("T.I.T.") last Thursday rocked. This one, the fourth match in the series, ends up in a double DQ following one of those big pile-ups outside the ring (each man coming off the top turnbuckle or over the ropes to the floor). They'll re-do this match at SmackDown!, saving the inevitable tiebreaker for the PPV this Sunday. X-Pac and Kane are in the back. X-Pac pleads with Kane to stay out of his business tonight, no matter what happens to him. The Rock has arrived. - Kevin Kelly completes the backstage interview trio, getting comments from the Rock. The Rock could care less about Rock & Sock. He does the bit where he forgets his catchphrase and does Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Randy Savage's lines instead. Before he can wrap things up, though, Vince McMahon tells him to give the Rock & Sock connection one more night, as he has scheduled them to face Val Venis & the British Bulldog. - X-PAC vs. FAAROOQ (w/ Bradshaw) Despite getting his grass smoked for the whole match, X-Pac manages an upset win over Faarooq, pinning him following the X-Factor. Bradshaw comes in for the obligatory post-match destruction. Kane, who watched the match in the back, comes out for the save, waiting until they set X-Pac up for something off the top turnbuckle before actually coming in. Nonetheless, X-Pac is pissed that Kane had to help him. - Ross leaves to get ready for his match. "Dead man walkin'!" quips Lawler. - You catch the bit on Sunday Night Heat where they revealed that Marianna had been framing Chaz in her claims that he beat her? Thank god they killed THAT angle off. - Mark Henry is at his next sex therapy session. The first one, last week on SmackDown!, revealed that Henry had first had sex with his sister when he was eight years old, or something like that. Yoiks! I wonder if this idea is a turd left over from Russo and Ferrara, or the first dud of the WWF's new creative team? Tonight Henry will get overstimulated, in an effort to curb his sexual desires. Yeah, that'll work. - Michael Cole replaces Jim Ross. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - CHRIS JERICHO/CURTIS HUGHES vs. THE HEAD BANGERS The Bangers look good back together. Jericho and Hughes don't, as a miscue leads to Hughes hitting Jericho, Jericho hitting back, and leaving him to the mercy of the Head Bangers. The two combine for their old powerbomb/legdrop combo and score the pin. Backstage, the Big Show confides to D-Lo Brown that his father is dying of cancer. This of course rubs me the wrong way, as you all might guess (given the health of my own Dad). Kind of lame to just throw it out like this. No build-up or nothing. With the Undertaker out of the picture, I guess the WWF decided to turn the Show babyface. - The Rock hands over the implements with which to scoop up the dog do. I'm not sure I like where this is going. - THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. MARK HENRY This is a "Lumberjack Match", featuring about twenty Ho's. THIS IS THE GREATEST ... Henry is mesmerized by all the Ho's, so the Godfather rolls him up for the pin. Whatever this was, it didn't go quite the way Henry's sex therapist planned. Kevin Kelly gets comments from Triple H and Chyna. - THE BIG BOSSMAN vs. THE BIG SHOW The Bossman runs down the Show before the match, further establishing that he's a babyface and that we should cheer for him. Thirty seconds later the Bossman is DQ'ed for using his nightstick. Al Snow tries to make the save, but gets beat down as well. Damn, too much wrestling on Nitro, not enough on RAW. Mankind has scooped up an entire tray of dog poo. Austin and Ross discuss their upcoming match. - TRIPLE H/CHYNA vs. "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN/JIM ROSS Ross comes out to the Oklahoma University fight song and, since he's all alone, gets his clock cleaned by Triple H and Chyna. Austin is out, and he and Triple H brawl away through the crowd. Chyna drags J.R. into the ring. Chyna does the Pedigree, and is about to apply the Figure Four when Jeff Jarrett runs in, nailing Chyna in the head with a toaster. Miss Kitty rolls a laundry hamper to the ring and Chyna is unceremoniously dumped in. Austin and Triple H reappear from the bowels of the arena, winding up at a concession stand. Austin dumps Triple H in a beer bin, says he has someone he'd like him to meet, then walks off. Huh? Austin's music is played, so I guess he and Ross won? Jarrett shoves the hamper off a loading bay, much to the dismay of Miss Kitty. Footage taken during the commercial break shows a bloody Chyna being attended to by EMT's. - THE ROCK & SOCK CONNECTION vs. THE BRITISH BULLDOG/VAL VENIS The dog doo-covered tray is at ringside. The finish sees the Rock slide the tray into the ring. He then gives the Bulldog the Rock Bottom onto the tray. Make up your own joke here. If this isn't a jab at Bret Hart and his Calgary Sun article, I don't know what is. The Rock declines to drop the People's Elbow when the Bulldog rolls off the tray. No winner called, though the Rock's music plays, so draw your own conclusions. Austin is in the back when he's jumped by Triple H. Austin comes out on top, and dumps Triple H into a darkened lockerroom. We hear a hissing noise (and see a glass pane wiggle, with Triple H's arm reflected on the surface). Through the open entryway we see a riled up rattlesnake. He's as doomed as doomed can be, I must say! - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Warts and all, I got a kick out of this week's show. As noted above, though, I'd like to have seen a bit more actual wrestling. This leads us to "No Mercy", and boy, won't I be glad when this one is over. Here's the card: * Triple H vs. Steve Austin. WWF Championship Match. * The Rock vs. the British Bulldog. * Mankind vs. Val Venis. * Jeff Jarrett vs. Chyna. "Good Housekeeping Match". * Ivory vs. the Fabulous Moolah. WWF Women's Championship Match. * Bradshaw vs. Faarooq vs. X-Pac vs. Kane. "Four Corners Match". * The Brood vs. Edge & Christian. I'd expect at least one more match to be added, possibly a Hardcore Title match. Not the best looking PPV, though not entirely terrible looking on paper. I'll be skipping this one myself. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Meng, Berlyn, Brad Armstrong, Hammer, Brian Knobbs, Stevie Ray, Norman Smiley ... where's all this talent WCW is supposed to have? Stack it up next to the competition and I bet the WWF's talent roster is deeper right now--at least in terms of wrestlers the fans care about. WCW just lets their mid-carders put on better, longer matches, making their pool seem deeper. Most of their top stars all suck. WCW has a core of young, talented wrestlers, who right now are the only thing setting them apart from the WWF. Benoit, Mysterio, Malenko, guys like that. The sad thing is you simply cannot build a company around these guys. As talented as they are in the ring, none of them have what it takes to be a main event attraction. For the longest time I said all WCW needs is to involve them in angles, and they will rise to the top. WCW proved me wrong. These guys are all wrapped up in a storyline now and, sadly, it's boring as all hell. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and none of them are interesting. I hope some day one of more of them can prove me wrong, but right now I'm not the least been interested in any of them from a character standpoint. WCW takes a lot of the blame for that. Who in this group, I would ask, is being "pushed" right now? All of them? None of them? At any given time you can pick two (or four or six) and do a match, and anyone could win it. From an abstract standpoint that sounds interesting. In reality, that's boring. Why root for Malenko when five matches out of ten, he's going to lose? Characterwise, he's dull. The same goes for Kidman. Mysterio, his great athletic ability aside, still has problems looking credible in the ring against larger opponents. Saturn seems out of place. The same for Konnan. Douglas' ring abilities seem to be disintegrating before our eyes (as his waistline expands). WCW's given these guys a storyline, but it's one so basic and by-the-numbers that it's boring. Will the Revolution split up? Who cares?! The end result will be more matches involving these same guys, who we care little about, with each match looking roughly the same. Take away characterization and story, and all you're left with is their matches (which, to their credit, are usually quite good). It's just that after a while every Kidman match looks the same. All the same moves, spots, bumps, etc. While this is probably true for every wrestler, it's the storyline and character which makes you overlook that. It's that subtle distraction from the pure mechanics of the match which keep you interested. Otherwise you're stuck rating the moves, noting which ones were blown, how they looked compared to the last time they did them, etc. I won't argue that there's a subset to the wrestling fan base that lives for that stuff. All they care about is the wrestling. Call them the "workrate freaks" if you like. What also can't be argued is that WCW desperately wants to appeal to someone other than them. That, or somehow turn all fans into "workrate freaks". This is the dilemma which WCW faces. To what level of success should they aspire to? Do they want the WWF type of success where they pull in tons of fans with T&A, toilet humor and shock tactics? Should they just appeal to the "workrate freaks"? Or is there some kind of medium ground they can cling to? This week's ratings are out already as I write this, and it's worth noting that head-to-head, RAW nearly TRIPLED Nitro's ratings. Look at the ratings for all of WCW's shows and one will see that the company is only a few tenths-of-a-point better than where they were back before the whole "Monday Night Wars" thing began. In the face of SmackDown!, Thunder's ratings have gone into the toilet. WCW Saturday Night is pulling its lowest ratings in decades. Opposed or unopposed, WCW seems to only be able to draw from a small core group of fans. If you're one of those fans, you may be thinking "so what, I like what WCW is doing and am glad they're appealing to me." I can't really argue with that. I would merely counter by asking how much money do you think Bret Hart makes? Hulk Hogan? Goldberg? Sting? This all boils down to money, and right now WCW isn't doing nearly as well as they were two years ago. We've already seen a couple dozen wrestlers cut from the company. Eric Bischoff lost his job. Extras like music acts have been cut. There'll be no Road Wild PPV in Sturgis next year because the company can't afford to give up the live gate. Thus far the cuts have been the obvious ones which most fans support. What happens, though, if/when the company has to cut deeper, and some bean counter somewhere decides a few of those talented mid-carders everyone likes has to go next? Or suppose Goldberg's contract runs out and the company decides they can't afford him? WCW can't just shrug its shoulders and say "who needs success?" For this company to achieve any level of profitability, it needs to aspire to a certain level of success and then go for it. How high they want to go will dictate, to use WWF terms, how much of the company is "wrestling", and how much of it is "sports entertainment". Given that WCW has hired Russo and Ferrara away from the WWF, one has to believe they intend to give the WWF a run for its money. I still don't know if that's a good thing or not. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 204 of the "Monday Night Recap", October 11th, 1999.