Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #199 September 6th, 1999 The Opening Word: Just a few quick observations before we get to this week's slobberknocker ... I felt Smackdown was the best wrestling show last week. Fast paced, some decent action, humor, a few surprises, it had it all. I seem to be the only one who got a good laugh over the Pepper incident. Reading the online reaction I'm convinced most everyone else is taking some things way too seriously these days. The WWF spoofed this very nicely in announcing on their website that the whole angle was done by Pepper so that he could take some time off to be with his family. A nice zinger at the ultra-obsessed wrestling fan. I also had a good laugh over the WWF's obvious goof in having Stephanie and Linda come out as co-owners of the WWF, when the duo had previously lost their controlling interests in the company back in June at the King of the Ring PPV. Oops! (Of course this is assuming that Vince and Shane, in storyline terms, didn't give them back their part of the company without bothering to tell the fans, right?) Maybe they could incorporate this mistake into the storyline, by having Shane come out and admit that in the heat of the moment, he *forgot* that his Mother no longer ran the company. More likely they'll just go on and never mention it again, hoping we fans will forget the mistake. Fat chance! ECW put on a much better show on TNN last Friday, one which better showcased what the promotion is all about. If I had one piece of advice to give to ECW, I'd tell them that it's time to stop riding on the WWF and WCW's coattails. Every time they mention one of the bigger two companies it undercuts their own credibility. Three years ago or so, when WCW and the WWF were in bad shape, it was kind of cool to see this renegade promotion come in and cut them down, making fun of them. Not any more, not since the WWF has improved so dramatically, and WCW has improved (then collapsed to where they're just as bad--if not worse). It's hard to bill yourself as an alternative to the "Big Two" when your own approach forces the fans to continue to watch those "Big Two" in order to stay on top of what it is ECW is saying or doing. Seeing Raven make his return this week was great, but it couldn't help but underscore the notion that we were essentially seeing a CURRENT WCW star come in and beat two ECW stars, who had already announced prior to their losing to Raven that they would be leaving for the WWF. On one hand is suggests that ECW is better than WCW because Raven came back. On the other hand it suggests that the average WCW guy (and let's be honest, Raven never was much above "average" in his stint in WCW) can come in and beat ECW's undisputed best tag team. If ECW is better than WCW because Raven choose one over the other, then doesn't that also mean that the WWF is better than ECW because the Dudleys choose it? Given the amount of talent ECW has lost over the last few years it's probably a bit dangerous to keep reminding their viewers that at any given moment another may decide to leave for greener pastures. (In ECW's defense I will point out that timing played a role more than anything else in the way they brought in Raven and said goodbye to the Dudleys. I'm sure they'd have booked it better if they could have had Raven earlier.) But hey, it's all okay, isn't it, because they may get the Ultimate Warrior soon? Right? RIGHT?! Sunday Night Heat wasn't much to talk about, so I won't. Coming in dead last again in the fan interest race is WCW and their latest installment of Thunder. I didn't see it--not a friggin' second. I read about it, though. Does WCW really believe jobber matches and Coach Buzz Stern vignettes are going to attract Thursday night viewers? Forget about beating Smackdown--how about putting on a show which doesn't cause physical and emotional pain to those WCW fans who do decide to watch it? It's no surprise that for the second week in a row the show scored an all time low rating. It's doing barely better than WCW Saturday Night, and that show as of late has been pulling in its worst ratings in twenty years. More than just Thunder being a problem, what is the deal with WCW lately? Remember how, just a year or so ago, they had something like 200 wrestlers on the roster, and what was thought to be all the best talent in the wrestling business? I don't know if it's been injuries, or people leaving to work elsewhere, or what, but with each passing week the talent pool in WCW seems to decrease, and those they choose to showcase show less and less promise. But enough of that. It's a new week. Let's watch and see which promotions take the ball and run, which show the promise of light at the end of the tunnel, or which ones shovel more dirt onto their own grave. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Miami, Florida. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Last Week" clip. - Hey, there's Bret Hart! Hart comes out and tells the crowd that he hasn't decided what he wants to do yet, but if he could have one wish granted, he'd like to wrestle Hulk Hogan. It'd be even better if the title was on the line. Good pop from the crowd for Hart. - Rikki "Rat Man" Rachtman is out to plug the search for the new Nitro Girl. Rikki's catchphrase of "can I get a 'yeah, right!'" is really lame. (You can tell he'd really like to get a "hell yeah!") The Nitro Girls come out, then they play video clips of the two most recent finalists, Zuli and Erica, picked at a competition over the weekend. Fans can vote on which should advance to the finals or whatever on WCW's website. I'd give you the particulars, but by the time I write this the deal has already gone down (the deadline to vote was 2:00 AM Tuesday morning). - LODI (w/ Lenny) vs. EVAN KARAGIAS The only thing of note that happens in this match is when a fan at ringside--the same fan (I believe) that we've seen rooting for Lodi the last two weeks--gets into it with Lenny and is hauled away by security. Isn't that how Tori got into the WWF? El Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse come out. Karagias is distracted, so Lodi hits a bulldog off the second turnbuckle, followed by a DDT. Is this because Karagias "owes" Vampiro something? Okay, I'll admit it, WCW has lost me on this angle. I have no idea what's supposed to be going on. - DJ Ran and the Nitro Girls coax the crowd into making some noise. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund is out to interview Hulk Hogan. Hogan with The Same Damn Interview, which manages to include some obsessively picky details regarding the Hummer driver plot. Hogan says *his* white Hummer has a rag top, whereas the Hummer that rammed into Kevin Nash had a hard top. Gene, missing the point, asks if the photo has been doctored. Hogan says no, it's legit. D'oh! Why doesn't Hogan just come out and say Luger's photo is an old one from his NWO days? I though Hogan hated this "Mystery Theater" stuff, yet here he is fueling it along. They could maybe make this thing work if they knew how to do it right. Doesn't help that Hogan's only acting experience comes from starring in BAD MOVIES. Announced somewhere in all this is tonight's main event: a Steel Cage Match between Hogan, Sting, Goldberg and Sid, Diamond Dallas Page and Rick Steiner. - Tony Schiavone almost has an orgasm announcing that some lucky fan may win a million dollars by watching Nitro and Thunder next week. Remember when the WWF did the same thing a few years ago at SummerSlam? If I had to pick the victim of this bit of intellectual thie--err, umm ... "inspiration", though, I'd say it was ABC's recent million dollar game show which drew such huge ratings. - BARRY HOROWITZ vs. AL GREENE We hear piano music during this match, which also happened last week, but I didn't mention it because I thought it was just a technical goof. We then see some blonde guy playing a piano--the long rumored Gorgeous George III (who does look a lot like the original Gorgeous George, and should not be confused with Randy Savage's girlfriend). Schiavone treats this odd incident with barely a mention, as he's quickly in full hype mode announcing the arrival of Sid Vicious, out to destroy the two jobbers in the ring. Sid, now 77-0 (despite a loss last Thursday on Thunder), does his usual spiel. - Members of the West Texas Rednecks have gathered in the lockerroom. Bobby Duncum, Curt Hennig announces, will be out a few months with an injury. Enter Vincent of the NWO Black & White, to offer himself up as a replacement for Duncum. Looks like he's in, provided he can prove himself tonight. - "Mean" Gene interviews Harlem Heat. Nope, nothing here worth mentioning. Sting and Lex Luger make their way backstage, looking for Hulk Hogan's dressing room. Sting wants to know what the deal was with Randy Savage being in Hogan's dressing room lat week. In they go, and there's Hogan having a chat with Bret Hart. Sting wants five minutes of Hogan's time. Hogan, walking away to another room, says Sting can have the time. Suddenly the lights go out, and we hear grunts and the sound of things being knocked over. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Sting is laid out on the floor. Luger, Hart and Hogan all stand by, looking puzzled. Did Hogan knock Sting out? Was it Luger? Perhaps Hart? How could any of them see to attack with the lights out? Could Hogan have run back across the room, in total darkness, and laid out Sting with both Hart and Luger standing not two feet away? How could either Hart or Luger attack Sting without the other not knowing they did it? How could the attacker see to attack Sting, but the other two not see the attack (especially Hart)? Could two of our three suspects be in cahoots? Could all three be? Could someone else have entered the room and done the attack without the other three knowing? Who is the Hummer driver? Why am I watching this? "Mystery Theater" indeed. - 12 MAN BATTLE ROYAL The first four men eliminated here are done for. The next six eliminated will fight later tonight in singles matches. The last two men standing will fight later tonight, with the winner getting a title shot next week on Nitro. An interesting idea, but let's see who the participants are. First out are the First Family, lead by Jimmy Hart. Next out are the Revolution. Rounding things out are the West Texas Rednecks. Curt Hennig doesn't actually compete in the match, so this is actually an Eleven Man Battle Royal. Brian Knobbs is eliminated first. Vincent goes next, failing to prove he might be a Redneck. Barbarian goes next. Next up are Kendall Windham and Shane Douglas, our first of three matches made for later tonight. Barry Windham and Jerry Flynn's eliminations give us our next singles match. The last two to go are Saturn and Hugh Morrus. That leaves Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko, in a dream match which has Internet fans drooling, prepared to hurl bricks at their TV sets in the event WCW does something stupid to ruin the match. Ernest Miller stars in an ad for "Cat-bo", a parody of Billy Blanks' "Tae-bo" workout series. Dumb, but funny. - JOHNNY SWINGER vs. PRINCE IAUKEA If it ain't Sid, it's the ICP and Vampiro, out to mess up the match. Swinger is brutalized without the ref seeing a thing. Pin for Iaukea. Vampiro tells the Prince he owes him. That gives us Prince Iaukea, Evan Karagias and Scotty Riggs all owing Vampiro for ... something. Don't tell me these are the guys that are going to join Brian "Demon" Adams in the KISS Army?! Speaking of which, where the hell is the Demon tonight? - In a segment taped earlier in the day, Buff Bagwell is ... somewhere ... signing autographs for his dozens (and dozens) of fans. Berlyn shows up and spews some German at him. Bagwell smiles, mugs for the camera, and acts like a cartoon character. - Berlyn promo. TOUCH THE MONKEY! - STEVEN REGAL (w/ David Taylor) vs. BUFF BAGWELL Buff with the Blockbuster, in a near squash. Isn't this where Berlyn should run in and attack him? Buff then cuts a pro-American promo. How sad is it that the best WCW can come up with for a "new" gimmick is the old "Evil Foreigner"? - BILLY KIDMAN/EDDIE GUERRERO/CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. vs. BLITZKRIEG/JUVENTUD GUERRERA/PSYCHOSIS Who is "Eddie Guerrero, Jr."? Excellent match--the first really good one on Nitro in ages. Strange little storyline subplot features Juvi dressed just like Kidman, which Kidman doesn't appreciate. Vampiro and the ICP come out, but just watch from the aisle. Eddie gets the win for his team with a boss Frog Splash off the top. Chavo seems a bit upset that he didn't get the pin. - Nitro Girls. - SHANE DOUGLAS vs. KENDALL WINDHAM Curt Hennig runs in and clobbers Douglas (missed by the ref). Harlem Heat run out, beat on Hennig, knock out Windham with a slapjack, and Douglas plants him with the Pittsburgh Plunge. Replays are required to catch all that, as the camera missed most of it the first time. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - JERRY FLYNN (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. BARRY WINDHAM (w/ Vincent) Wow ... if ever there was a match to make you say "who cares?!" Vincent engages in a little malfeasance, assisting Windham in the quick win. I guess that makes Vincent worthy enough to be a Redneck. - "Mean" Gene out to interview Berlyn and his entourage. Ute Whatsername translates again. Sorry, but I'm really not getting into this gimmick at all. A stupid haircut and an annoyingly bad interview style isn't going to suddenly make me forget that Alex Wright, since 1994, TOTALLY SUCKS IN THE RING! Take the ten worst wrestlers in the business today and Wright was probably worse than five of them. Maybe six. Can he POSSIBLY have improved all that much, if any, during his time away? It's all made worse by the fact that Berlyn is supposed to be some kind of wrestling machine: a mat perfectionist who sees what he does as an artform. An interesting concept, but it'll only work if it's being done by a GOOD WRESTLER. ANYONE can come out and draw cheap heat by doing an anti-American schtick. - Nitro Girls. - HUGH MORRUS vs. SATURN Schiavone puts in a good word for Brian Hildebrand (WCW referee Mark Curtis), who is out battling cancer. Amen. Very long match, dull for the most part, but heated towards the end. Were I not still steamed by Berlyn I might have liked this one. Rings of Saturn for the win. - CHRIS BENOIT vs. DEAN MALENKO There's a real chance for this one to be something--BY ALL THAT'S HOLY, HERE COMES SID! F#@% YOU WCW!!! - Nitro Girls. - HULK HOGAN/STING/GOLDBERG vs. SID/RICK STEINER/DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE Hogan pulls a WWF by letting Hogan get beat on for a few seconds before coming out (to his old music, by the way). No sign of Sting. Goldberg is a house of fire, taking out all three opponents, until they gang up on him. From there it's clearly a time killing exercise. Sting comes out (with Luger in tow) and takes out Bam Bam Bigelow and Kanyon, DDP's Triad buddies, outside the cage. Sting enters and cleans house. DDP into the Big Boot, Legdrop o' Doom, Hogan covers for 1 ... 2 ... shoulder up, no three, but Hogan's music plays anyway, and the puzzled ref declares Hogan the winner. Well, whatever. That looks to be it as the copyright flashes on the screen ... ... but it's not. Luger confronts Sting, asking him what he's thinking, and such. Luger even takes a swing at Sting(!) Sting swings back, and THEN the show fades out. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: About halfway through I was thinking WCW had somehow managed to deliver a good show this week. Then things started to drag, with the battle royal, followed by the singles matches it set up. The lucha six-man was the real highlight of the show, but that was more than offset by the ridiculous finish to the Benoit/Malenko match. For a moment I was afraid that Sid would actually cover one of the two and get the pin, earning the World Title match next week. He might just as well have, as no winner being declared here leaves that up in the air. I'd guess Benoit would get the nod, if for no other reason than he's the current U.S. Champion, and as such is supposed to be the #1 contender and get a title shot. My guess is that it's a preemptive measure on WCW's part to make up for Benoit losing the belt this Sunday to Sid. I'll be damned surprised if that doesn't happen. Tough call to make this week. Was the show good? By what standard: in general, or compared to recent efforts? This was a really tough show to watch a second time on tape (to write this Recap), knowing that the only good thing in the whole three hour show was one match buried in the middle. It's pitiful that the best hype they could come up with for next week's show is the lure of a million dollar prize to one lucky viewer. No Scott Steiner this week, even though he did announce on his website that he'd be there. We did, however, get Bret Hart, as Hart promised in his weekly Calgary Sun column. Once again, not one thing done or said to hype Thunder this week. Does WCW even care if we watch it? I guess not. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live (2 Hour Tape Delay). Length: Two Hours+. Location: Hartford, Connecticut. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - The Rock is out to kill a few minutes doing his thing. Mankind then comes out and says he's happy to be back in "Harvard". He throws a good word to the ailing Brian Hildebrand. Amen again. Kane is their opponent tonight. His partner, X-Pac, is nowhere to be seen. I smell an X-Pac heel turn. Just as the match is about to start, Triple H and Chyna come out, making it ... THE ROCK/MANKIND vs. KANE/TRIPLE H Chyna has a sledgehammer, by the way. This one doesn't last too long as Kane and Triple H just don't get along. Triple H makes whatever point he planned on making by hitting Kane in the back with the sledgehammer. Rock Bottom ... People's Elbow ... there's your pin. After the good guys have left Triple H continues the sledgehammer beating. The Undertaker and Big Show come out, causing Triple H and Chyna to scatter. Is the Undertaker considering trading in one big lunkhead for another? Jeff Jarrett and Miss Kitty are backstage. - Michael Cole gets a word with Jacqueline, who faces Jarrett tonight in an intergender match. Jarrett's warming up for his PPV Intercontinental Title match against Chyna. - JEFF JARRETT (w/ Miss Kitty) vs. JACQUELINE Good lord, Jarrett totally DESTROYS Jacqueline. No offense of note from Jackie here. Jarrett stomps her, tosses her around, and makes her submit to the Figure Four. I almost felt uncomfortable watching this, it looked so brutal. Post-match sees Jarrett finish the job with a guitar shot to her head. Huge crowd heat on Jarrett. The fans are going to go nuts if Chyna takes the strap off him. Terry Taylor with comments from Val Venis. Venis took offense to the run-in attack he suffered at the hands of Steve Blackman. - Smackdown clip featuring the WWF TV debut of the Dudley Boyz. - EDGE/CHRISTIAN vs. THE ACOLYTES This will once and for all settle the "#1 contender" problem that's been plaguing the tag team division of late. Very fast match, which sees the Acolytes do their power move thing, but Edge and Christian counter with agility and speed. Bradshaw is about to powerbomb Christian when Edge hits him with a drop-kick. Christian winds up on top and scores the pin. They now get a Tag Title shot somewhere down the road. - Cole is about to get comments backstage from Edge and Christian when they spot a steamed pair of Acolytes, who are themselves surprised in a sneak attack by the Dudley. D-Von and Buh Buh Ray lay in a serious trash can beating. - GTV. The Big Show and Val Venis are in the men's room, side-by-side, doing their ... business. Val takes a peek and jokes "and they call you the 'Big Show?'" Show grunts, then grabs Val from behind and slams him into the wall of the toilet stall. Then he calmly WASHES HIS HANDS. Now THAT'S funny! - Cole interviews Meat--make that Sean Stasiak. "Meat" is no more, he having been dumped by Terri Runnels. Sean mentions his father, former WWF Champ Stan "The Man" Stasiak. (Or was it "WWWF" back then?) Before he can say much more he jumped by the Mean Streets Posse, who just happened to be passing by. Every day somebody's got to pay. - Val Venis hits the ring and calls out the Big Show. Backstage we see the Undertaker and Big Show looking on. The Undertaker asks if he's going to pick up that "punk card" Venis just threw down. Annoyed at being called upon for such a trivial task, the Big Show lumbers out. BIG SHOW vs. VAL VENIS Chokeslam. Pin. Steve Blackman slips in after the Show has left and gets in a few cheap shots on Venis. Taylor, backstage, getting a word from the Dudley Boyz. Buh Buh Ray is stuttering again. The two are attacked by the Acolytes, who return the favor from earlier with a hellish oil barrel attack of their own. - New WWF ring announcer Lillian "I Suck" Garcia is about to announce the next match when she's interrupted by Howard Finkel. Howard send her packing. He then announces the next match, but loses his nerve when he sees the first man out is ... Ken Shamrock. Shamrock catches Finkel, and is about to reduce him to several small chunks when Chris Jericho appears on the Titan-Tron. Like last week, Jericho promises another face-to-face confrontation with him this Thursday on Smackdown. He also calls the UFC a "fabricated, pretend sport". In other Smackdown news, Jim Ross says a "reliable source" has told him that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin will be there. I'd accept this at face value were J.R. not giving off a weird "fake Razor Ramon/fake Diesel" vibe. Austin will also be on the MTV Music Video Awards this Thursday, so you can double you Rattlesnake pleasure. Say, who was Shamrock supposed to fight here? - Triple H and Chyna are out. Helmsley runs down a list of all the wrestlers he's injured in recent months. Triple H says he's The Game, and that Linda McMahon had better keep her ass out of his business. Uh-oh, I bet Linda sticks her ass in his business again this Thursday. Hey, wouldn't it be cool if she did something to cheese off Triple H, and he tried to put his hands on her, only to be stopped by Vince McMahon? At the mention of Linda's ass, "Mr. Ass' Billy Gunn comes out. Gunn and Chyna have had some recent encounters in their scramble to get an IC Title shot, which has brought Triple H to Chyna's aid. Thus, Gunn and Triple H are now at odds. Put the two down for a title match later tonight. Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco are ... going ... to ... wrestle? WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - THE MEAN STREETS POSSE vs. PAT PATTERSON/GERRY BRISCO/TEST In really hate the Posse. Patterson and Brisco come out to Hulk Hogan's old music. They each rip their shirts off, Brisco revealing a "Brisco Bros. Auto Body" shirt, while Patterson reveals ... another shirt. He then rips that off, exposing his saggy old man boobs. *HHHHRRRRRRREEEAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!* Test lets his best men get beat on for a few moments before coming out. The Posse try to escape, but there's Sean "Meat" Stasiak in the aisle to block them (well, Rodney anyway). Rodney truly sucks, blowing two or three moves as Test destroys him. Pump handle powerbomb, followed by the big elbowdrop off the top. Didn't these guys lose a "Loser Leaves the WWF" match? "Hardcore" and "Crash" Holly backstage. One of them carries a scale. They only wrestle heavyweights, you see. - THE HOLLYS vs. THE NEW BROOD (w/ Gangrel) The Hardy Boyz are asked to step on the scale to see if they measure up to The Holly cousins' standards. They both come up short. "You guys got some gold or chains you can put on to weigh more? How about you, Dracula, you fat bastard?" HAH! Save for a brief rally in the middle, this match is all the Hardyz--except that "Hardcore" Holly somehow suplexes one of the Hardyz and scores the pin. Hey, that wasn't half bad. The lights then go out, and when they come back up, "Crash" has been given a bloodbath. "Hardcore" Bob laughs at him, and we're off on another Holly cousin brawl. I should mention at this point that Jim Ross has really been plugging Steve Austin's return at Smackdown pretty heavily during these last few matches, going so far as to say he'll bet his black cowboy hat that Austin will be there. Either the WWF REALLY wants us to know that Austin will be there, or this is all part of some odd swerve angle. In any event, it's a bit annoying to listen to after awhile. Michael Cole upsets the Undertaker by trying to smoothly segue from the action at ringside to their interview backstage. Sending him away, the Undertaker throws out a challenge to the Rock and Mankind. Not just for any match, but a "Buried Alive Match" for the World Tag Team Titles. When? This Thursday on Smackdown. Thunder's gonna get murdered. We see the back of a costumed figure whom I immediately recognize as ... - ... the Avatar (Al Snow, in one of his older incarnations). The scene, a bit too silly to go into much detail, sees Snow believing himself to be a superhero, then realizing that he's losing his mind because he ate his dog Pepper last week on Smackdown. Snow runs off, barking like Rick Steiner. Maybe one out of every ten WWF fans get this angle, and it's one of those things that SOUNDS funny, but isn't as such to watch. Michael Cole. The Rock. Mankind. Interviews have replaced the shots of people walking this week. The Rock does his Big Show imitation, followed by a new one of the Undertaker: (Eyes rolled back) "DIE, DIE, DIE!" Maybe you had to be there. - GTV: Marianna is on the phone begging somebody to do something about Chaz. - D-LO BROWN vs. STEVE BLACKMAN European Champion Mark Henry comes out with a couple of women to do color commentary. Blackman looks to be on the verge of gaining the upper hand when Val Venis comes out and whacks him with a kendo stick. D-Lo with the pin. Henry seizes the opportunity to clobber D-Lo from behind and whip him with the title belt. I still think it's funny that these two broke up as a team because Henry didn't want to exercise! Terry Taylor. Ivory. Our WWF Women's Champion calls her nemesis, Tori, a "skank". Tori attacks, wearing nothing but a white shirt and thong. Commercial. - IVORY vs. TORI This was billed as a "Hardcore Rules Women's Title Match". It never leaves the lockerroom, having continued during the commercial break. Tori is chucking soap and, um, "feminine hygiene products" at Ivory. Into the shower they go, where Jacqueline is, is ... shampoo ... soap ... bubbles ... THIS IS THE GREATEST RAW EVER! Bodies are being tossed everywhere. Into another room they go and there's Prince Albert, Droz and ... Someone Else. Is Droz wearing any pants? This is so bizarre. Now they're out by the vehicles. Ivory slammed into a truck. Onto the makeup table. Tori takes a mirror to the head, sending shattered glass everywhere. Ivory covers for the pin. She then grabs an iron and presses it to Tori's back. This week's sound effect is sizzling skin. Ivory is the Queen of Hardcore! We'll never see this match on TV again. Referee Earl Hebner bumps into Chyna, and tells her that with all the trouble they've had with women tonight, she'd better not go out to ringside. She backs him down with a stare and says she'll pretend she didn't hear that. Kane is huddled in a stairwell somewhere. - TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna) vs. "MR. ASS" BILLY GUNN Hebner actually has the cajones to send Chyna to the back. Fast forward in this one because the crowd is dead and I've been typing for three days. Shane McMahon comes out to the ring, seemingly asking why two of his biggest heels are fighting each other. Gunn gets a couple of near pins, which gets the crowd and Jim Ross cheering for him (Ross is still upset that Triple H "broke" his arm). Gunn tries that dumb looking splash into the corner that never works, and Triple H puts him away with the Pedigree. The Champ, his Lady, and the Owner of the Company celebrate. Out comes Kane. Kick to Triple H. Shane pushed down. Chyna is chokeslammed. Shane crawls to the center of the ring, doing a slow look up to see himself at Kane's feet. Chokeslam, as the show fades out. - This Thursday: Jericho and Shamrock "face-to-face". The Rock & Mankind vs. the Undertaker & Big Show in a "Buried Alive Match" for the tag belts. The Return of the Rattlesnake. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Damn, but a lot happened on this week's show! Nine matches and a hundred angles. Some I liked, some I wasn't as wild about, but overall a whole lot went down to keep things from getting boring. There was even some okay wrestling turned in by Edge & Christian, the Hardyz and the Holly cousins. The main event wasn't all that bad either. But still, the show definitely seemed to be missing something. With Austin still out, and the Rock and Mankind only appearing at the top of the show, the overall proceedings seemed to be lacking in top level star power. I'm starting to side with that camp which really detests Triple H as Champ. I think there's a way to use him, but this just letting him run around on his own, that's starting to lose me. He's not over, and isn't drawing the level of heat he should. He really needs to be involved with someone who can help him carry the load, and right now there is no one opposed to him. Triple H vs. Billy Gunn is okay on RAW, but they're certainly not going to headline a PPV with that match. They need to firmly establish soon who his next feud is going to be against. Whether it's the Rock, Mankind, the Undertaker, Kane--whoever, it just needs to be done soon. I had no problem with Triple H being the Champ, I just didn't think it would be this boring waiting for that match where he gets beat. I'm reminded of when the Rock first won the title. A lot of people thought it was too soon. It worked, though, because he was in a great program with Mankind. The Rock could now win the belt and we'd be interested in most anything he did. Can't say the same about Triple H. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Here's the Fall Brawl lineup: * Hulk Hogan vs. Sting. World Title Match. * Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page. * Sid vs. Chris Benoit. U.S. Title Match. * Barry & Kendall Windham vs. Harlem Heat. World Tag Team Title Match. * Rick Steiner vs. Saturn. * Buff Bagwell vs. Berlyn. * Eddie Guerrero, Kidman and Rey Mysterio vs. Vampiro & the ICP. * Brian Knobbs & Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas & Dean Malenko. Not a whole lot to get excited about there. I see one good match (Kidman, Vampiro, etc.), and another that could be good (Goldberg vs. DDP). The main event MAY be watchable just for the drama and storyline involved. The rest seems incapable of rising above the "eh" level. Each match seems to involve at least one man or team who really bites. Most of this card is typical Nitro fare. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 199 of the "Monday Night Recap", September 6th, 1999.