Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #194 August 2nd, 1999 The Opening Word: I don't want to go into too much detail, but a member of my family is in the hospital recovering from surgery. Needless to say, my focus on the wrestling shows this week will be somewhat diminished. I hope you can all bear with me. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Sioux Falls, South Dakota. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Scott Hudson and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Last Week" clip, followed by a look at the crowd, then a video package detailing the history of "Hollywood" Hogan and Kevin Nash. Scott Hudson is back. Make of it what you will. Thunder clip shows Harlem Heat reuniting. - KANYON/BAM BAM BIGELOW (w/ Diamond Dallas Page) vs. HARLEM HEAT Pre-match DDP does his usual string of lame jokes and catchphrases. I'm not sure why he feels compelled to dis Chris Benoit's mother, but there you go. Kanyon gets the crowd to tell him who's better than he is. This match is non-title. After several minutes of action, DDP tries to stop what looks like a certain win for the Heat. Benoit runs in and stops him. Booker T. nails the missile drop-kick and pins Kanyon. You know, a few weeks ago WCW would have had Page break up the pin, ruining the match. Benoit gets on the mic and tells DDP to never make fun of his mother. He says some other stuff too, sounding a lot like Triple H. I should mention the crowd is super hot. Lenny Lane and Lodi wonder where Ernest Miller got his fuzzy bunny slippers. (From Buff Bagwell, that's where.) Lenny and Lodi are supposed to be brothers, right? So why are they still acting gay? Before it was just lame, now it's creepy and offensive. - "Don't Miss a Minute" clip, opening credits, t-shirts ads, etc. - Nitro Girls. - Here comes Sting, the only guy in wrestling to have lamer catchphrases than DDP. Given the events of last week's show, Sting would like a match against Sid Vicious and Rick Steiner. Sting asks the fans who they think should be his partner, and they all chant Goldberg. Well, most of them do. Some of them chant Hogan's name. The camera picks up Hogan signs, just to mess with us. Sting will come back out just as RAW is starting to get Goldberg's answer. Isn't Sting President of WCW? Couldn't he come right out and make the match? *Now* they show the Goldberg signs. - Ernest Miller comes out (with Sonny Onoo), badmouths Buff Bagwell, then calls out Lodi and Lenny Lane. About a minute later Miller pins Lane. Was this a match? - "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews "Hollywood" Hogan. Why is he wearing a necklace made of paper clips? Hogan has shaved off the part of his beard he usually paints black. He's now a red & yellow do-rag away from being the "Hulkster" again. Hogan talks--says nothing of note. The crap and filler thus far has killed whatever good that opening match may have done. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Scott Hudson and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Sting is back out to get his answer from Goldberg. Cut to the back, where Goldberg exits from his dressing room. He suddenly spots Rick Steiner in a utility room of some sort. Entering, he's blindsided by Sid Vicious, armed with a snow shovel. Sting runs back to help, but Sid and Steiner are too tough for him. They drag him back to the ring and kick his ass. Goldberg, locked in the utility room, kicks down the door and runs out to help Sting. WCW fans should worry about their heroes when they are outsmarted by the likes of SID AND RICK STEINER. In case you were tempted to turn over to RAW, and just came back, they replay clips of what just happened. - ... and one more look at what just happened. - EVAN KARAGIAS vs. DISCO INFERNO Disco with the Last Dance. I'm surprised Randy Savage didn't run in. Next hour, I guess. Torrie talks to a cardboard cutout of David Flair about how great he is. Oh wait, that's David himself. This is followed by a video package showing past U.S. Title holders, and how they all *earned* the belt. David Flair, on the other hand (according to Mike Tenay in the voiceover), had the belt handed to him. - Ads, promos, KISS on the 23rd, Nitro Girls, etc. The WWF can run an entire MATCH in these stretches WCW kills to pad out Nitro. - Sid has something to say, but it's drowned out by the Nitro theme music and crowd noise. Oops! - HUGH MORRUS/JERRY FLYNN (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. SHANE DOUGLAS/DEAN MALENKO The First Family has the King of Hardcore trophy. Little reaction for Douglas and Malenko. Hudson fumbles about in his commentary, talking about how we've all seen Douglas, but in a place other than WCW. Huh? Douglas pins Flynn with the Pittsburgh Plunge. Gee, a few more months of this and Douglas might be as over as he would have been had WCW hyped his arrival before the fact. Malenko winds up with the trophy and promises to take it back where it belongs. - Ads, hype, clips, KISS promo, etc. At Road Wild, Goldberg will be facing some guy named "Ric Steiner". - "Crush 'Em" by Megadeth. - Nitro Girls. The show definitely seems on cruise control at this point. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Eric Bischoff and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Ric(k) Steiner comes out, grabs Scott Hudson, drags him in the ring, and gives him a belly-to-belly suplex. Cool, but what the HELL! A flurry of punches follow. Security fills the ring, and a stretcher is called for. After the break, we see Hudson strapped down on a stretcher. Eric Bischoff has taken over the commentary booth. (Ah, so that's who sent Rick Steiner out there. Oh wait, I don't think that's what I'm supposed to assume.) Heenan, who ran for cover when Steiner came out, takes his seat next to Bischoff. - BOBBY DUNCUM, JR. vs. SATURN Curt Hennig comes out to badmouth Chad Brock, who will be singing on Nitro next week. According to many people who have written me, Brock actually started out as a WCW wrestler before moving on to the world of country music. Heenan accuses the guy of copying his country music gimmick. He then talks some smack about Saturn. Saturn plants Duncum with the Death Valley Driver in seconds. He calls Hennig into the ring. - CURT HENNIG vs. SATURN Barry & Kendall Windham run in to cause the DQ. Huge "Rednecks suck!" chant by the crowd. Then the crowd cheers, but it peters out as they realize it's Malenko and Douglas coming in for the save. Bischoff has to cover for their late arrival by saying there's no monitors backstage, and that someone would have to tell them what is going on. That's only contradicts about half the stuff that's happened this week. - Chad Brock promo. - Clip from last week. - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. CHRIS BENOIT Bischoff drops some commentary regarding Sting, saying he's "doing the paperwork" to hand control of WCW back over to WCW itself. Hopefully this means that the position of "President of WCW" will disappear. A good, lengthy match, which sees Benoit get the pin via roll-up when David Flair runs in and unsuccessfully tries to plaster Benoit with the U.S. Title belt. Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow then run in. DDP gives Benoit the Diamond Cutter. Benoit's given a few more Diamond Cutters, as David Flair takes the opportunity to gloat over him with his title belt. It'll be a crime against humanity if Benoit doesn't win the belt from him at Road Wild (and I'm not just saying that as a Benoit fan. I'd say the same for ANYONE in that position). Randy Savage promo, followed by that Sid clip that they screwed up earlier. - "Mean" Gene is out to interview Randy Savage. No Gorgeous George, even though Okerlund says she's with him. Savage mentions his campaign for President of the United States, which most everyone has done their best to ignore (except Savage). Savage mentions Dennis Rodman. Out comes Mona, the former Miss Madness. She asks to have her job back. Savage forces her to her knees, and tells her to beg for her job. Here comes the Worm, flanked by Swoll and 4X4. The two trade heavily censored profanities, sexual innuendoes, and so forth. Those things Rodman says which aren't censored are still barely comprehensible. Bischoff orders their mics cut. (Ooh--Nitro is *dangerous* live TV. What a farce.) Mona catches Savage from behind with a low blow. Rodman then runs in and lays Savage out with a ridiculous looking clothesline, followed by a couple of elbowdrops. Rodman calls for a mic, as the crowd chants his name. - EL VAMPIRO (w/ the Insane Clown Posse) vs. EDDIE GUERRERO Vampiro's new theme music is courtesy ICP. The entrance takes forever, as they allow nearly the whole song to play. Vampiro shakes Heenan's hand, then lets the fans at ringside fondle him. Should I ignore the swear words in the ICP song? Did anyone in WCW screen it first? Bischoff says they had some footage from the Nitro Girls Swimsuit PPV Special, but it was too hot for TNT. You know, WCW is basically one devil worship angle away from just as "bad" as the WWF. Speaking of which, KISS will be on August 23rd ... Vampiro continues his streak of matches where he's so good, he doesn't have to do much of anything. Everything happens here in slow motion, with much of the action taking place on the floor. A few high impact moves makes this one watchable, but anyone who calls it a "great match" should be shot. At about the five minute mark Raven comes out and pushed Eddie off the top. Vampiro plants him with the Nail in the Coffin. Rey Mysterio, Jr. and Konnan come out for the save. I sound critical of all this, but it's actually the type of stuff WCW needs to do to get Vampiro and the ICP over. It's just a bit dull is all. It's like the build the WWF gave the Brood, except that they did it with shorter matches. Here WCW is making the matches longer, but employing the same finishes. A half-assed rendition of "O Fortuna" from Carl Orff's "Carmina Burana" accompanies clips of the Berlin Wall coming down. This is the latest "Berlyn" promo. Am I the only one who sees the futility in all this, since no matter what you call him, he's still ALEX WRIGHT?! - Bischoff calls for Hogan to come out and join him. How does Hogan hear this if THERE ARE NO MONITORS IN THE BACK? Heenan is still afraid of Hogan, so he bails. Hogan seems annoyed that Heenan won't "get in line" like the rest of the sheep--fans, I mean fans. - STING/GOLDBERG vs. SID VICIOUS/RICK STEINER Action, action, action ... or not. Let's jump ahead: A clothesline from Goldberg sends Steiner to the floor. Rick grabs a steel chair. "No Way," exclaims Hogan, and he goes over to grab the chair. Down goes Steiner. Chair to Sid's head, drawing the DQ. Out of the crowd comes Kevin Nash. Forearm to Hogan's back. Jackknife ... THROUGH THE DESK! What the-- - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: WCW needs to work on their timing. This was one of the coolest Nitro finishes ever, and do we get a lingering shot of Hogan laid out on the broken desk? No, they cut away almost immediately, a good minute before the show usually ends. I didn't even have time to mark out. There were, by my count, two good matches this week, and they involved the same guys who deliver the good matches every week. Why do I now have this sneaking suspicion that since the Triad did the job this week, they won't feel obligated to do anymore for the next several weeks? Worse than that, I've got this feeling that Benoit will beat Flair for the U.S. Title, only to lose it to DDP soon thereafter. Those two good matches aside, this week's show was "bleh!" Better than last week's show, and maybe even a bit better than the show from two weeks ago that everyone raved about. No really stand-out moments of stink, just the usual unpleasant odor permeating the whole show. But things are going in the right direction. They seem to be, anyway. Boy, Ric Flair's sure taking his sweet time over there in Japan, isn't he? If I were him, I wouldn't be in any hurry to come back either. If things keep going the way they are, they'll bring Flair back as the babyface to combat the evil Douglas, pretender to the throne (and proven ratings killer). I like how Hogan griped about WCW doing too many DQ or run-in finishes, yet there hasn't been one since his return! In the main events, I mean. But, the man did shave his beard, and took a Jackknife from Nash, so ALL BOW DOWN TO HIM! HOGAN IS GOD!!! Sorry, I'm a bit cranky. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Taped 7/27. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Columbus, Ohio. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - The fireworks haven't even died down when we see the Acolytes on the stage. They hit the ring and call out the Big Show and Undertaker. Rather than those two, though, we get "Hardcore" Holly out to answer their challenge. He charges the ring. They demolish him. RAW is hosted by Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, and HHHAAANNNNNSSEEEENNN'SSSS EEENNNEEERRRGGGYYY DDDRRRIIINNNKK!!!!!! The Undertaker, Big Show and Paul Bearer have arrived in the back. Last night on Heat, we saw Christian hanging out with Gangrel. In comments taped before the show, Edge tells Terry Taylor he feels betrayed. - EDGE vs. GANGREL This is a "Bloodbath Match", with a bucket of fake blood at ringside. The one to get the bucket dumped on them loses. (What happens of someone goes for the bucket and spills it on the floor? Or both men get drenched in a struggle?) A commercial break follows the entrances. Lengthy match, which sees Gangrel use a steel chair to block Edge's Spear. He then goes for the bucket, but the lights go out. When they come back up, Gangrel has been drenched in blood, as Christian stands nearby. Christian enters the ring and he and Edge embrace, the brothers reunited. Is it just me, or has the WWF been wrapping up a lot of these smaller angles lately? Both Shane McMahon and Steve Austin are in the building. - Shane comes out to talk about his father Vince McMahon. Shane says Vince made wrestling, that the fans are all there because of him, that people will pay for not respecting him, etc. Shane puts Jim Ross on notice for his part in Vince's send-off last week. Shane takes a shot at WCW. The Corporate Ministry is set on hold for the time being, as Shane says he will be focusing on Test, and how he's going to pay for dating Shane's sister, Stephanie. This runs way too long. Test eventually appears on the stage and tells Shane that he's going to go through all the Mean Streets Posse members until he gets to him. Road Dogg fears Kane isn't listening to him. Only another week of the Millennium countdown. - Al Snow and Pepper the Chihuahua are trying to flush Head down a toilet. There was a similar bit on Heat. The gist of it all is since Head had that railroad spike imbedded in it, Al is going nuts from hearing the screams in his head. The dog, Pepper, has promised Al that the screams will go away if they get rid of Head. This is all starting to sound like a David Lynch film. - ROAD DOGG/KANE vs. THE UNDERTAKER/BIG SHOW (w/Paul Bearer) The Undertaker did a great interview on Heat where he essentially said that the Big Show had a ruthlessness that Kane lacked, and that the Big Show knew that the Undertaker would some day stick a knife in his chest. Until then, the two would team up to bring about Armageddon. Once things settle into the usual tag team formula, Road Dogg gets worked over for a lengthy stretch. The hot tag to Kane lights up the crowd. Kane looks to have the Undertaker beat, but a distraction by the Big Show allows the Undertaker to hit the Tombstone for the pin. The Acolytes then come out, but they are taken down from behind by "Hardcore" Holly, who does a Tonya Harding on their knees with a baseball bat. Holly then chews Big Show and the Undertaker out, saying this is the last time he'll bail them out. Big Show looks puzzled, while the Undertaker looks annoyed. The Rock, late as usual, arrives at the building. First he threatens to smack a guy who'd like to shake his hand, then he tosses the guy carrying his bag a few bills, off a wad which would choke a horse. They then show a clip of him throwing out the first pitch at a Pittsburgh Pirates game. WWF Attitude is finally here (or will be within the next few days), available on the Playstation. The N64 version follows in a few weeks. - Jesse "The Body" Ventura will be on RAW next week! Jim Ross says this is just a rumor, though. Wouldn't it be funny if instead of Ventura, Triple H comes out and does an imitation of him? Well, not funny ... - The closing minutes of Triple H's Fully Loaded victory over the Rock is shown. - "Badd Ass" Billy Gunn and Chyna come out. Gunn says his own ass is "beautiful, elegant and manicured." The Rock, he says, has an ugly ass. Gunn shows a picture of a big, ugly ass on the Titan-Tron, which he says belongs to the Rock. The Rock then appears and says "ass" several dozen more times. RAW is WAR: a good daily source of vitamin Ass. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Taped earlier, D-Lo Brown is trying to get Mark Henry to eat his vegetables. Noticable in the background is the HHHAAANNNNNSSEEEENNN'SSSS EEENNNEEERRRGGGYYY DDDRRRIIINNNKK!!!!!! cannister. Mark also gets a can of the stuff to wash down his tasty vegetables. - JEFF JARRETT (w/ debra) vs. D-LO BROWN Quick look back at Ben Stiller getting his ass kicked last week. This match was set up by Jarrett on Heat, and will be "Title vs. Title". A slugfest to start, but D-Lo uses his wrestling skill to gain the upper hand. Jarrett takes a breather. He then tries to take it to the floor, but D-Lo has that covered too, sending Jarrett into the post. Jarrett comes back with a drop-kick, catching D-Lo coming off the top. D-Lo is draped one the ropes. Baseball slide to the floor, where Jarrett delivers a closed fist. Back-and-forth they go, until Jarrett slows things down with a headlock. Lots more back-and-forth. Both guys are working really hard here. The ref goes down, catching an errant clothesline from Jarrett. Debra comes in with Jarrett's belt. She then flashes the puppies to D-Lo. D-Lo gets an eyeful, then grabs the belt and clocks Jarrett. 1 ... 2 ... 3--new Intercontinental Champion. Jarrett, when he comes too, blames Debra for the loss. - Jarrett, during the break, blames his loss on Debra. He tells her to get lost ("for now"), and demands a rematch. Looks like Austin is coming out. Commercial? Didn't we just come back from one? - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin makes his way to the ring. Austin lays the badmouth on Triple H. Big Show and the Undertaker then come out. The Taker demands he get a rematch, then he and the Big Show stomp a mudhole into Austin. - Michael Cole is waiting backstage to get comments from Austin. - THE BIG BOSSMAN vs. VISCERA Ugh! The WWF has the "Stinker Match of the Week". A fire extinguisher and table come into play, but really, this is THE BIG BOSSMAN VERSUS VISCERA. It's not "Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla" bad, but close enough. The Bossman uses Mace and a collapsible baton en route to the pin. I think the Bossman works as Hardcore Champion, but I don't want to see him battle the likes of Viscera each week. - Austin tells Cole that the Undertaker can have his match. Triple H strolls into the building. Commercial? Didn't we just come back from one? - During the break, Chyna told Triple H about the Undertaker getting a shot at Austin. Triple H throws a tantrum. - TEST vs. RODNEY Despite an assist from Joey Abs at the start, this quickly turns into a slaughter. Rodney is thrown into the steps, takes two elbows off the top, has a chair wrapped around his arm and stomped, and his arm bashed with a chair as it hangs off the apron. Somewhere during all this Rodney gives up. Joey Abs comes back out and Test gives him a smoldering glare. Cole tries to get comments from Triple H, who goes nuts, grabs Cole and says some stuff that gets bleeped. - The Undertaker and Big Show are plotting strategy. - STEVE BLACKMAN vs. VAL VENIS Blackman says his running over Ken Shamrock with his car last week was an accident. He doesn't need a car to take care of him. (Shouldn't Blackman be in jail? Shamrock must not have pressed charges.) Venis takes his turn on the mic and says he's like the Internet: he's easy to "get on," "comes in many languages," but that you won't get a virus. Blackman is really working Venis over when Ken Shamrock runs in. Shamrock chases Blackman out through the crowd. Catching up to him, he pounds on him with a chain-wrapped fist. An assist from the refs allow Blackman to escape. What, no commercial? The Big Show, Undertaker and Paul Bearer come out. Triple H then runs out, telling the Undertaker that if anyone's going to beat Austin, it'll be him. Austin runs in and attacks Triple H. The Undertaker attacks Austin. Big Show attacks Triple H. Then the Acolytes run in, followed by "Hardcore" Holly, Kane, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and the Rock. Massive brawl. Bodies start spilling to the floor, with Triple H, Austin, Road Dogg and Gunn the last ones in the ring. Pedigree by Triple H! Stunner from Austin! Austin and Triple H are left-- What the hell is "WWF Entertainment, Inc."? - Next week: The New Millennium. Comments: The WWF has some timing issues too. Just as we get to the all-important staredown between our SummerSlam main eventers, they cut away. They *did* run about a minute over, but still ... Some longer matches this week, offset by a couple of short ones. I enjoyed this one a bit more the second time through, watching it uninterrupted on tape. Live, it didn't flow as well as most recent shows. I'm betting D-Lo loses the IC belt back to Jarrett at SummerSlam (if not sooner). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Get well soon, Dad. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 194 of the "Monday Night Recap", August 2nd, 1999.