Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #193 July 26th, 1999 The Opening Word: I suppose the biggest surprise coming out of Fully Loaded was all the title changes. No single one was much of a surprise, but taken as a whole, four titles changing in four matches is pretty unusual. If nothing else fans would have had to consider the PPV historical in that respect. As a whole the PPV seems to be getting good reviews, with those on the negative side trashing it for booking more than anything else. Praises for the show have been low-key. What I've seen most, though, is bitching and moaning over how the WWF and Vince McMahon were "obviously" going to screw us over in not sticking to the stipulations of the main event. The meat hooks were already out, prepared to dig into this week's RAW the moment Vince McMahon pulled forth some kind of loophole which would allow him to stay. Boy, talk about putting the cart before the horse! I've read stuff from people inventing elaborate swerve storylines, just so they can trash the WWF on the *off chance* that may be the storyline they ran with. On the fiction front, "Mean" Gene Okerlund apparently claimed on the WCW Hotline that the finish to Fully Loaded was changed at the last second because the Undertaker "accidentally" bled. I can't confirm that Okerlund truly said this, though I have seen the report on more than one newsboard. In any case, it sure sounds like something "Mean" Gene would say. "Mean" Gene also supposedly said Scott Hall would be on Nitro this week. More on that below. Speaking of WCW, they're looking to sort through the rubble of last week's ratings debacle, and decide where they go from there. Immediately in their sights is the upcoming Road Wild PPV. At the top of their list is the Hogan/Goldberg/Sting alliance. WCW has obviously cast its lot with Hogan, and is trying to give him a babyface rub by associating him with the other two. He continues his feud with Kevin Nash. Sting and Goldberg, for their part, should see themselves paired off in singles matches against Sid Vicious and Rick Steiner at Road Wild. The sad thing is none of this holds much promise for the fans. Hogan isn't over enough to make a victory over Nash mean anything, unless he allows himself to be humbled or humiliated during the build-up. And if Nash somehow wins, then WCW is handing the belt back to the guy who just dragged the company down into the basement over the last two months. Still, does anyone really doubt Hogan will win? Maybe WCW will spice this one up a bit by having Nash punk out Hogan before the PPV, claiming the NWO mantle for himself. A Hogan win at the PPV then would mean the long overdue destruction of the New World Order. Without something like that, though, then we're just stuck with a match between two guys with bad knees. Sting vs. Sid should be screwy as all hell, since neither of these guys are likely to job to the other (and with Sid, we'll be damn lucky if the match earns "two stars"). Sid may get a tainted win here so he can go on to be Hogan's next victim. Goldberg will likely crush Steiner, as part of his triumphant return to WCW. I don't foresee a good match, but the result is what the fans will want to see, so that's good enough. (Rereading the last few paragraphs I'm struck by how much sense it all makes booking-wise. Therefore don't be surprised if what WCW does looks completely different.) Road Wild's marquee attraction will be Dennis Rodman versus Randy Savage. That ... kind of says a lot about WCW, doesn't it? I guess the next biggest thing in WCW is Sting becoming the new President of WCW. Is Roddy Piper still Vice President? Other than Sting handing the reigns over to Eric Bischoff, I have no idea what WCW could be planning on doing with this. Tangentially related to all this is David Flair and his current U.S. Title. One has to think that will come to a screeching halt pretty soon. Hopefully. Anyone else feel really bad for Ric Flair? First he was made to look insane. Then he was made to look like a man corrupted by power. Then he was cast as the leader in the "old" guard. Then Eric Bischoff, on TV, blamed him for all the problems in WCW. Then he was screwed out of the WCW Presidency. Coming up, his son will probably lose the U.S. Title. Beyond that, it seems like WCW is forcing him into a feud against the Shane Douglas-lead new "young" blood, battling over the rights for the Four Horsemen name. Some say Flair will never put the rights on the line (since he really does own them). Others say Flair will have no choice. Many "smart" fans, meanwhile, are drooling in anticipation of this feud, which has been brewing behind the scenes for years. My gut tells me that Flair will never even step into the ring with Douglas, but on the other hand it's not like Flair has any power at all anymore. Flair may have to do it if he expects to collect a paycheck. The great unknown about all this is how much of the Flair/Douglas feud is real, and how much of it has been worked to hook the smart fans in. If it is real, then the odds if this feud coming out anything like what the smart fans have dreamed of seeing is remote. Douglas' mic work will probably be the best thing about this feud--if it even takes place. The inescapable reality, however, is that this feud is taking place five years too late. Speaking of Flair, he's believed to be in Japan this week, attending an amateur wrestling tournament his son Reid is competing in. If he doesn't show on Nitro, that's why. One of the images I can't get out of my mind from last week's show is Shane Douglas on the mic, a half dozen fans chanting "E-C-W!", and the other ten thousand turning to the person next to them and asking "who the hell is that?" A few weeks of teaser promos could have made Douglas' debut mean something. Instead they just ran him in, and now will have to spend a few weeks working to make his presence matter. In reading the many reviews out there of last week's Nitro I was struck by how often I would see a phrase along the lines of "his debut shows promise for good things to come." Not many would claim that his actual debut was all that exciting, merely that it will lead to something better. In my book, that's a missed opportunity, or at least an opportunity delayed. Last Thursday on Thunder Curt Hennig challenged Goldberg to a match on Nitro. I have no idea why. And instead of the six-man match that last week's finale seemed to set up, Nash challenged Hogan to a tag team match. He told Hogan to dig up a partner, while he himself would bring in someone from his past. I don't have his exact words, but the clear impression was that it would be Scott Hall. Coming into this week's show, though, most of the news sites ruled out Hall, saying that Rick Steiner was the leading candidate. Don't you hate it when the two feds do these "mystery partner" angles? They always turn out to be a huge disappointment. So that's Nitro for you, and on RAW, this week begins the big push to SummerSlam. With Triple H getting the title shot, odds are he'd make a big splash on this week's show. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Memphis, Tennessee. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Scott Hudson and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Hudson replaces Tony Schiavone again this week. All reports say this was a two week gig only for him, but if fan reaction is good, who knows? I guess we'll know the answer to that one next week. For what it's worth, Hudson didn't make much of an impression on me last week. Of course, compared to Schiavone, that's actually a compliment. He gets the job done. Overhypes the hell out of everything, but has enough presence of mind to actually call the action during the matches. If the switch is permanent, I can live with it. Sorry Tony. - "Last Week" clips. - Clip from Thunder of Hennig challenging Goldberg. - "Crush 'Em" video. Footage of Goldberg mixed with Megadeath's live performance from a few weeks back. - "Mean" Gene is on hand to interview "Hollywood" Hogan. Why doesn't it surprise me that Hogan comes out in the first hour? This way he's assured of a high, unopposed rating. (Of course he comes out so late in the quarter hour that if the rating is low, he can blame Goldberg's video.) Hogan spends a few minutes sucking up to the crowd, then says he has no "stinking partner" for the match against Nash. (Hell, I wouldn't want a "stinking partner" either.) Out comes Nash, with Sid Vicious and Rick Steiner. Gee, which of these two will be his partner tonight? Nash and Hogan exchange words, none of which to be confused with anything interesting. Then the attack is on, with Hogan suffering a rare beat-down. Sting comes in for the save. The announcers wonder if Sting will be Hogan's partner, which frankly is wasted energy, given that all the fans assumed Sting would be Hogan's partner ever since the challenge was made last Thursday. Leave it to WCW to make the obvious a mystery, and ignore everything else. - Opening credits, fireworks, and a replay of the Hogan beat-down make sure we'll get next-to-zero wrestling this hour. - PSYCHOSIS/JUVENTUD GUERRERA vs. BOBBY DUNCUM, JR./KENDALL WINDHAM Hudson says the luchadores are "primed for an upset," which is a ridiculous notion given that Hennig and Barry Windham accompany Duncum and Kendall to the ring. Windham pins Psychosis following a bulldog. Some country singer named Chad Brock will be performing on Nitro in two weeks. Who? I'm sure the NASCAR crowd is all abuzz about this. Unlike the deal with Master P, though, I'm not going to bother researching who this guy is. Sorry. - Mona (the Artist Formerly Known As "Miss Madness") is upset that Randy Savage fired her. Madusa, high on coke or something, comes in and prattles on a thousand words a minute how she's going to kick Mona's ass at Sturgis, but that's besides the point because it was Gorgeous George who got the two of them fired. Where is this taking place, and why would a cameraman be there to film it? - EL VAMPIRO (w/ the Insane Clown Posse) vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR. A string of unconnected spots disguised as a match, Vampiro is DQ'ed when the Posse come in for no damn reason (Vampiro having just killed Mysterio with a powerbomb off the top). I realize some are calling this a "push" for Vampiro, but shouldn't it include some actual WINS? And who the hell is Rey now that he can't lose a match clean anymore? The ICP tell the camera that they're there to kick ass, which I'm sure the suits in Atlanta liked. I wonder why Hudson doesn't mention ICP's performance at Woodstock '99? (If he did, I missed it.) Oh yeah, Eddy Guerrero makes the save, getting a louder reaction than anyone else on the show thus far. These fans were mad-dog-crazy for him. WCW might want to rethink Eddy turning on Rey, if that is indeed what they have planned. - A new "Don't Miss a Minute" video, featuring clips from last week's show. - VINCENT (w/ Horace) vs. STEVIE RAY Stevie has apparently left the NWO Black & White, which is impossible since when you're NWO, you're NWO "4 Life." A total shitter of a match, with Stevie Ray winning via the Slapjack (butt-ugly Pedigree). Scott Norton tries to do a run-in, but Booker T. blocks the aisle holding a steel chair. Harlem heat has reunited, for all intents and purposes. Stevie has words with Horace, guaranteeing that if they don't fight on Thunder this week, they'll square off on Nitro next week. MARK YOUR CALENDARS! - "Mean" Gene is stationed in front of "Hollywood" Hogan's dressing room, intent on learning who Hogan's partner will be. Sting then comes along, menaces Okerlund with his baseball bat, and enters the dressing room. "Who will be 'Hollywood' Hogan's partner?" Gene asks. Are we supposed to be *as dumb* as "Mean" Gene to appreciate all this, or *dumber*? - WCW President Sting makes his way to the ring. I should point out that as President of WCW, Sting has done SQUAT. Sting reminds us he's President, then announces that he will be Hogan's partner, acting as if this is his first official act in office. Hogan comes out, and tells Sting he's not the same guy he used to be. "Give me one chance to prove myself to you." Sting warns him that if he screws him, "I'll getcha!" Wow, that almost made all this believable. - Jason Hervey joins the announce team. Hervey, a big WCW mark and friend of Eric Bischoff, trashes "Arli$$" and talks up Nitro. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Scott Hudson and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - LASH LEROUX vs. PRINCE IAUKEA They put this up against the start of RAW? Ah, now I see ... Randy "Macho Man" Savage comes out and beats up both Cruisers. Savage takes the mic and inflicts some damage on us, talking smack about Dennis Rodman, his running for President of the United States, and some other crap. Madusa (in her ridiculous cheerleader outfit) and Mona (with her cleavage exposed, now that she needs fan sympathy) come out to confront Savage. Madusa says they want to be on his team. He badmouths them ("spit it out, and I don't mean the words!") Madusa blames all her woes on Gorgeous George, who backs away from ringside and up the aisle, leaving herself to be blindsided by-- Dennis Rodman. The Worm grabs her by the wrist and kidnaps her. - KISS will be on Nitro August 23rd. - Savage is searching backstage for Rodman. - "Mean" Gene interviews Goldberg, who tells Curt Hennig "YOU'RE NEXT!" - ERNEST "THE CAT" MILLER (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. EVAN KARAGIAS Miller walks through this one, until he gets to the point where Onoo ties up the ref. Miller grabs his briefcase, which usually holds his ruby slippers, but instead finds a pair of bunny slippers. Buff Bagwell appears up on the stage with Miller's shoes. Karagias then rolls Miller up for the upset pin. Miller knocks him out with a kick, tosses the ref out of the ring, then sets off in pursuit of Bagwell. - MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. STEVEN REGAL (w/ David Taylor) Fit Finlay suffered an injury at a house show over the weekend, badly cutting open his leg during a table shot, suffering major blood loss and possible nerve damage. He may be out for months. Anyway, life goes on apparently, as Jimmy Hart & the First Family appear with Finlay's "King of Hardcore" trophy. Nice of them to fix it, after their breaking it last week. Hart, taking credit for putting out Finlay, says if Regal and Taylor want the trophy, they can come get it at Road Wild. Regal Stretch for the win. The best part of this match was Heenan calling Whipwreck "Mikey Sheepdip". That, and the fan that tried to run into the ring at the start of the match. They'll do that when they're forced to entertain themselves. Goldberg is in the back pumping up. - Hudson calls "Mean" Gene a "KISS mark." Gene-o agrees, then interviews David Flair and Torrie Wilson. David tries his best to emote, but fails (though not as miserably as usual). David puts up the U.S. Title against Chris Benoit a little later. In the back, Savage has found Gorgeous George. he then hits the parking lot, and tries to enter Rodman's trailer, but the aging Doug Dellinger is somehow able to hold him back. Savage swears up a storm, with TNT bleeping out about half the swear words. - Another look at the "Don't Miss a Minute" video. - Taped Shane Douglas interview. Four years ago Shane set the wrestling world on fire with his "Evolution of a Franchise" promo. This was a pale shadow of that, with Shane saying how much he likes his friends, and how he can't wait to cut that cancerous Ric Flair out of WCW. I'm beginning to think Bischoff hired Douglas so that he can bury Flair. - Goldberg slams his head into a locker. - CURT HENNIG (w/ The West Texas Rednecks) vs. GOLDBERG DQ when the Rednecks interfere. We waited four months for this? HOUR THREE Hosted By: Scott Hudson and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - A lengthy video segment details the entire history of Hogan, Nash and Scott Hall coming to WCW, their forming the NWO, and the development of the feud between Hogan and Nash. - MADUSA vs. PATTY STONE GRINDER Who?!? What a joke. Patty looks like Chyna forty years from now. Madusa wins with a suplex. - SHANE DOUGLAS vs. SCOTT PUTSKI The crowd, as they've done during the last four or five matches, pays more attention to itself on the big screen than it does the match in the ring. The match starts off okay with some basic moves, but eventually degenerates into one of those Ed Leslie/Ultimate Warrior punch-n-kick debacles. Douglas wins with something that looks like a Fishermanbuster, dubbed the "Pittsburgh Plunge". The crowd actually boo's Shane's victory. Ouch! I should note that Hervey, still at the desk, has talked non-stop since his arrival, yet has managed to say nothing of value. Half of his remarks are ill-timed, and are jokes only funny to him. The rest of the time he's put himself over as a major Hollywood "mover & shaker". He's better than Schiavone, though. I've just realized there's been no Nitro Girls, DJ Ran or Eric Bischoff this week. THIS IS THE GREATEST NITRO EVER! - DAVID FLAIR (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. CHRIS BENOIT Hudson confirms that Flair is in Japan. Wrestling fans everywhere rejoice as Benoit is finally victorious in ... his ... umm ... nope, guess not. David tries to walk out, but referee Charles Robinson forces him back to the ring (the story here being that Robinson is overseeing David's "becoming a man" while Ric is out of the country. I guess). Benoit destroys David, even going so far as to pretend to kick dirt over Flair's corpse. He then applies the Crippler Crossface. Referee Robinson suddenly has trouble seeing. Diamond Dallas Page runs in and waffles Benoit with the U.S. Title belt, then rolls the unconscious Flair on top of the Crippler for the pin. Dean Malenko runs in, Bam Bam Bigelow and Kanyon run in, and Saturn runs in. Then, when the action has all died down, Douglas runs in (carrying one of his wrestling boots). Somebody screwed up the timing here, making Douglas look worthless. Meanwhile, WCW lost about 2% of its permanent fanbase with this boneheaded match. They're actually crafting this story well, but none of the fans want to see it. - Another Chad Brock reminder. I was flipping channels and actually saw one of his videos on CMT, so I guess he really is a "country music superstar". - RICK STEINER vs. CHASE TATUM Steiner with the bulldog. The No Limit Soldiers suck. Hudson and Hervey spend much of the match discussing the possibilities regarding Kevin Nash's mystery partner. With the build thus far, Scott Hall would be a disappointment! We're supposed to be thinking Ultimate Warrior or Shawn Michaels by this point. - Hogan comes out first, followed by Sting. Kevin Nash then comes out. And his partner is ... someone from his past ... out of the whole world to choose from ... it's ... it's ... Sid. Hervey, Hudson and Heenan act like this is the greatest swerve in the history of professional wrestling. The crowd is pissed. - "HOLLYWOOD" HOGAN/STING vs. KEVIN NASH/SID VICIOUS Sting does the only real "wrestling" in this one. Everyone else does the four or five moves they each know. Sting gets beat up for most of the match, so Hogan can pound on the turnbuckle and get the fans to cheer for his coming to the rescue. Hogan tags in and goes through his superhero routine while battling Nash. Sting, meanwhile, brawls with Sid on the floor. Here comes Rick Steiner, carrying a steel chair. Steiner plasters Sting. He then trips Hogan as the Hulkster bounces off the ropes. In comes the chair. Nash uses it to deliver a soft tap to Hogan's head. 1 ... 2 ... 3--Nash has pinned Hogan! (Albeit in a highly screwy fashion.) Goldberg comes in for the save, but he's take out by Steiner with the chair. The heels walk out united, leaving the good guys laid out in the ring. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: All things considered, a pretty good show. Yeah, right. Other than that rat bastard Hogan actually working to put his main event storyline over with the fans, I didn't see much of note this week. I actually thought the show was okay from the brief glimpses I saw during RAW's commercials. Man, was I way off. This one had its phasers set on "stink" from the word go. Well, I'm sure you WCW faithful out there don't want to be kicked any more while you're already down, so I'll just move on. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Cleveland, Ohio. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - In the copy of the Recap that went out to subscribers last week, I listed Michael Cole as the host instead of Kevin Kelly. Another case of the mind knowing one thing, but the hands typing another. The online edition was quickly corrected. For the record, Kelly replaced Lawler because "The King" was stuck in traffic on his way to the studio. The WWF does the commentary for the taped shows live as they air. - The show opens with still photos from the Fully Loaded PPV. - As Jim Ross is hyping the show they cut to the back, where the Undertaker is beating the crap out of X-Pac. "Hanson's Energy Drink" product placement shot. Road Dogg tries to rescue him, but the Undertaker chokeslams him through a table. Out to the ring they come. Undertaker continues beating on X-Pac in the middle of the ring. Through Hellfire and Brimstone, it's Kane! Kane launches an assault on his brother. Major crowd pop. Well, it's the "Big Show"! Paul Wight lumbers in and grabs Kane from behind. He and the Undertaker team-up to beat on Kane. He and X-Pac are left laying in the ring. Wight and the Undertaker eye each other for a moment, then the Undertaker extends his hand. They shake, to the dismay of the crowd. Kane is shown crawling over to X-Pac as Wight and the Undertaker leave. A black limousine pulls up. Vince McMahon exits. - During the break, Kane let out a mighty roar and carried the unconscious X-Pac from the ring. Back live, X-Pac is being loaded into an ambulance. - "Hardcore" Holly comes out to serve as the ring announcer for the next match. - THE ACOLYTES vs. EDGE/CHRISTIAN Holly lists Edge and Christian as weighing "about, let's say, a buck-and-a-quarter, and that's with Christian's legs wrapped in ace bandages to make them look larger. Bless his heart!" Footage is shown from Heat of Gangrel helping Christian beat Viscera, then Edge losing the Intercontinental Title to Jeff Jarrett at the PPV. The Acolytes, Holly claims, weight about two thousand pounds. Jim Ross announces that Ken Shamrock has been hit by a car. More details as they become available. Things are fairly even between the two teams, with the Acolytes having a bit of momentum on their side, when Gangrel runs out and spirits Christian away from ringside. That leaves Edge all alone to suffer a double powerbomb. Bradshaw covers for the pin. "Hardcore" Holly then announces himself as the winner, because he can, and charges the Acolytes. They kick his ass. Through Hellfire and Brimstone, it's Kane! Kane chokeslams Bradshaw. Chokeslams Faarooq. Chokeslams Holly. Chokeslams Edge. Then he calls for the mic. Whipping out his neckrophone, he warns the Undertaker "you hurt Sean ... you hurt me ... Undertaker ... 'Big Show' ... tonight I'm gonna hurt you!" Backstage, Ken Shamrock is refusing medical attention. In footage taped a bit earlier, we see X-Pac being loaded up into an ambulance, which pulls away. Walking by is Ken Shamrock. He watches the ambulance pull away, then at the last moment sees a car backing into him. Shamrock tumbles to the ground. As a security guard is checking on him, Steve Blackman climbs out of the driver's seat of the car! Jim Ross, narrating over the clip, is downright disgusted with Blackman. The "Lethal Weapon" slips on a pair of shades and cooly drives away. Vince McMahon is wending his way through the back halls. Steve Austin is also in the building. - Mr. McMahon slowly walks to the ring. Hey, Ben Stiller is at ringside! In short, McMahon says he couldn't leave the WWF with his appearance at Fully Loaded being the last way we'd see him. Admitting that Austin beat the Undertaker, McMahon says he's come to say farewell. "Asshole!" chant from the fans. Lawler is heartbroken. ***KEE-RASH!*** "Stone Cold" makes his way to the ring. McMahon says he's glad he's there, because he wanted to tell Austin that deep down, the two of them are the same. McMahon considers himself the "better man", and extends a hand. Austin ignores it and grabs the mic. Austin asks the fans if he should break off Vince's arm and shove it us his ass. ("Hell yeah!") Austin tells him to take his money, his power, and that arm, and shove it up his ass. Austin says that as bad as McMahon made life for him, Austin enjoyed it, because it was proof that "a son-of-a-bitch like you can never beat a son-of-a-bitch like me!" Austin then calls for Jim Ross to come into the ring. Ross ends up leading the fans in a chorus of "na na na na, na na na na, oh hell yeah, goo-bye!" McMahon leaves, stopping briefly on the stage to flip Austin the double bird. Austin and Ross slug down a few beers. Taking his seat once again, Ross is so worked up that he says something that has to be bleeped. - McMahon has reached his waiting limo. A teary Howard "The Fink" Finkel catches up to him. "Thank you for everything. I love you Vince." McMahon, looking disgusted, replies "get the hell away from me!" - VAL VENIS/THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. DROZ/PRINCE ALBERT Dubbed a "Street Fight", this one spills out of the ring and into the crowd. As the Godfather and Albert are fighting amongst the fans, Godfather is jumped by a large fan with white hair wearing a white suit. (I didn't know him, but everyone online says it's WWF prospect Vic Grimes.) The "fan" is handcuffed and dragged away by security. The match, meanwhile, ends with Prince Albert falling victim to the one-two combo of the Ho Train and the Money Shot. Michael Cole gets comments from the Rock in the lockerroom, who has words for Triple H, Billy Gunn and Chyna. Cole suffers the indignity of having to stand with a Rock shirt draped over his head, while holding up other various bits of Rock merchandise. - Ben Stiller waves to the crowd. They then play a commercial for "Mystery Men". Boo! - Triple H and Chyna make their way to the ring. Triple H cuts a promo wherein he declares "Austin, while you may be a 'student of the game'. At SummerSlam I'm gonna show you, and I'm gonna show the world, I AM THE GAME!" Chyna then takes the mic and says the Rock doesn't have the balls to come out and challenge her face-to-face. The Rock then comes out, only to be blindsided by Billy Gunn, wielding a wooden club. The three leave the Rock laying in the ring, with Billy Gunn telling him "now you know your role, bitch!" The Rock comes to while they're on the stage, and challenges Gunn and Chyna to a handicap match tonight--"if you've got the balls!" Gunn rather graphically checks to see if he has any. You know, I'm not too wild about Gunn's see-though shorts there. The Undertaker, "Big Show" and Paul Bearer are prowling the halls. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Clips from earlier tonight. - THE UNDERTAKER/"BIG SHOW" (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. KANE The Taker and "Show" are supposed to abide by tag team rules, but that all goes out the window, as a steel chair quickly comes into play. Road Dogg runs in to help Kane, and gets in a few shots with his dancing fists, but Wight takes him out with a chokeslam. The two are left laying in the ring. Debra is in the back having some photos snapped of her. Jeff Jarrett comes along, covers up the puppies, and drags her off to the ring. - Ross notes that the "Countdown to the Millennium" clock will expire two weeks from tonight. - Jarrett is out to cut a promo. Seeing Ben Stiller in the crowd, he calls him up into the ring. Stiller obliges. Seems Jarrett didn't like what Ben said last week on "GTV" about Debra's puppies. He asks Ben why he's there. Stiller says he wanted to see some WWF wrestling, and needed a break from promoting his movie ("Mystery Men", opening on August 6th). Stiller, continuing to plug the movie (*yeesh*), runs down some of the characters, saying that there wasn't a superhero powerful enough for Jarrett to play in the movie. Jarrett asks Stiller who his favorite WWF superstar is. "There's two of them: THE PUPPIES!" Jarrett clobbers Stiller, then drags him into the center of the ring and slaps on the Figure Four! Stiller cries, taps out, does everything he can to sell the move. In comes D-Lo Brown to make the save. (Huh?) D-Lo hits the Sky High and Lowdown. Stiller, meanwhile, gets a face full of puppies as he's comforted by Debra. Jarrett, when he comes to, makes Debra grab his belt and follow him from the ring. D-Lo carries Ben up the ramp, presumably to the nearest phone so he can call his lawyer and sue Jarrett for millions. You know, Stiller is only about one link in the celebrity food chain away from Jim Carrey (Stiller directed Carrey in "The Cable Guy"). Carrey has that Andy Kaufman movie Jerry Lawler was in coming out later this year. Hmmm ... Steve Austin is still in the building. - Clips from what just went down. They then cut to Triple H entering Steve Austin's dressing room. - Ivory, sporting what looks like a new pair of boobs (which would explain where she's been lately), comes out to the ring. Taking just a moment to badmouth Nicole Bass, she says she'd like to do a repeat of her little "Rocky Balboa" segment the last time she was on. She challenges any woman in the crowd to come in and fight her. Some generic woman does. Ivory asks her if she likes the WWF Women's Title belt? She says yes, so Ivory clocks her with it (the belt making a nice *thud* sound against her skull). Ivory continues the beating until Tori runs in for the save. It's kind of hard to get this women's division off the ground when its participants keep leaving the WWF! Triple H leaves Austin's dressing room. - Al Snow is ... somewhere ... complaining about a headache. He feels the pain Head is feeling, what with that railroad spike driven into it's head. The Taco Bell dog then walks up, barks something to Snow, and Al asks "who do you think I am, 'Dr. Dolittle'?" Did I just dream that? - TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna) vs. KEN SHAMROCK Ross informs us that Triple H apparently vandalized Austin's belongings in the Austin's dressing room. (I wonder if he pooped in his gym bag?) Shamrock takes quite a while to come out, his ribs and arms wrapped in bandages. A total slaughter, as Helmsley works over the ribs, and forces Shamrock to "bleed internally" from the mouth. The ref eventually stops the match and declares Triple H the winner. Helmsley delivers a few more shots after the bell. The idea here is that Triple H studies his opponents so he can exploit their weaknesses. Michael Cole has the misfortune of interviewing the Undertaker ... NEXT! - Comments from the Undertaker, "Big Show" and Paul Bearer. The Undertaker says "the days of scary music and theatrics are over. The days of Armageddon are upon us." The camera then swings over and catches Test beating the hell out of Pete Gas (of the Mean Streets Posse). Rodney and Joey Abs hit the scene too late to catch Test. Another commercial? Boo! - CHYNA/"MR. ASS" BILLY GUNN vs. THE ROCK Triple H comes out to deliver color commentary. Throughout the match he will repeat that he doesn't care about this match: that it's his time to shine. As the match goes on he gets more aggravated with Ross because Jimbo won't suck up to him like Lawler. After some opening scuffling involving all three, things settle down with Gunn and the Rock in the ring. Chyna tags in and delivers punches, kicks and forearm shots. The Rock fires back with some punches of his own, whipping her into the corner. DDT and cover for two by Chyna. Steve Austin is watching on a monitor in the back. Gunn tags back in. A few more tags are made, and Gunn and Chyna engage in some double-teaming. Triple H, getting in Ross' face, knocks off his hat. The Rock begins to battle back. Cover for two. Whip into the ropes, leading to a Samoan Drop. Punch to Gunn's groin, then a fist which knocks Chyna off the apron. A clothesline takes both Gunn and the Rock over the top rope to the floor below. Triple H removes his headset and slugs the Rock. Ross can't believe he did that. Triple H can't believe Ross has the nerve to question him. Back in the ring Chyna is pounding on the Rock. Ross says the Rock got screwed at Fully Loaded. Chyna drops a knee. Triple H asks what the finish was in that match? Ross admits a Pedigree, after interference by Gunn and Chyna. The Rock hammers Chyna. Gunn with a kick to the Rock's back. Triple H calls Austin a "piece of crap." Ross says he'll have to get the job done at SummerSlam. Gunn is in control. Triple H says he's sick of Ross. Ross tells him to get the hell out of there! TRIPLE H NAILS ROSS! ***KEE-RASH!*** AUSTIN IS IN THE RING! CLOTHESLINE--CHYNA GOES DOWN! AUSTIN AND HELMSLEY AT RINGSIDE. ROCK BOTTOM IN THE RING. AUSTIN GOES INTO THE DESK. THE ROCK CALLS FOR THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW! AUSTIN WITH AN ELECTRICAL CABLE. OH, HELL YEAH! WE'RE OUTTA TIME-- - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: While it would be hyperbole to declare this the Greatest RAW Ever, I would nominate it as one of the best this year. This one had all the elements which make the WWF so fun to watch, with the momentum only slowing or stalling a few times during the show. If I had one complaint to pick out, it would be that we maybe saw the key players one too many times during the show. By the time the main event rolled around the live crowd seemed to be a bit burned out. The Rock, for example, didn't get the greatest reaction coming out that last time. Things did pick up, though, as the match drew them back in, but for a bit there the crowd looked pooped (and popped) out. The finish was hot. (I kind of took over for the unconscious Ross there above.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: I'm seeing a lot of wailing and hand-wringing over the fact that Triple H is getting pushed right now. I'm going to float a theory here past you all, giving my take on what this "push" really means. First off, what's wrong with Triple H? Austin needs a new opponent. The Undertaker's been done to death (and will probably be taking some time off soon to heal up his knees). He's already feuded with the Rock. It's too soon to put the "Big Show" in the main event. That leaves someone new, and if not Triple H, I don't know who else. Pushing Triple H to the title (and believe me, I think we're looking at our next WWF Champion there) will establish the WWF's next main event star. Some may not like him, but I bet their tune will change in a year or so when Triple H does his next babyface turn. A lot of what's being said about Helmsley was also said about Shawn Michaels. Now, Triple H is no Shawn Michaels, but neither was Shawn Michaels in 1994 (if you catch my drift). Shawn was pushed into a spot no one thought he could occupy, and it was a couple of babyface turns which won over most of the fans (and his subsequent heel turns which gave him ever increasing heat). Triple H may not be a franchise player, but given time I'm sure most will accept him in a main event role. Hell, it's the same route the WWF went with the Rock. Who in 1996 thought bubblegum babyface Rocky Maivia had any kind of future in this business (aside from the WWF, that is)? The transformation has to start somewhere, sometime. Beyond that, I think the WWF has a larger reason in pushing Triple H. Certainly he'll elevate his status by holding the WWF Championship for some time. I personally believe, though, that the WWF's goal here isn't to just make Triple H into a main eventer, it's to build the next monster superstar in the wrestling business. Who am I talking about? Mick Foley. Simply put, Triple H will win the WWF Championship so that Mankind can come back, kick his ass, and win the title for a third time. The groundwork has all been laid: it was Triple H who put out Mankind with a knee injury. Mankind is expected to return sometime in September. Should Triple H be holding the belt by then, he will have earned wins over Steve Austin, the Rock, and the Undertaker. Who, oh who, can stop him?! Mick Foley--that's who. Can you imagine the pop Mankind would get the night Helmsley, belt over his shoulder, challenges anyone in the WWF to come out and face him? The man Helmsley thought he took out for good with a sledgehammer shot to the knee. Mankind is already over, but lining him up as the guy to beat Helmsley, that will put him OVER. I personally don't think Triple H will win the title at SummerSlam. Ventura being the ref would seem to preclude that. It wouldn't surprise me, though, if he wrangled a rematch the next night on RAW, and won the title there. Or at the next PPV after SummerSlam. Whenever it happens, I'm betting Mankind wins it from him at Survivor Series. The only flaw I can see in any of this reasoning is figuring out what the WWF does going into the next WrestleMania. I think Paul Wight winning the Royal Rumble is likely, putting him in the main event at WrestleMania XVI. But who will be the champion? Foley? Austin? The Rock? The Undertaker? It's probably way too early to be looking that far down the road. I say sit back, live with Triple H as the WWF Champion, and savor the moment he loses the belt--to whomever he loses it to. I'm betting it's Mick Foley. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 193 of the "Monday Night Recap", July 26th, 1999.