Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #186 June 7th, 1999 The Opening Word: The big wrestling news Monday was word that NBA drop-out Dennis Rodman had signed a deal to return to WCW this summer for at least five televised matches. Presumably past issues between Rodman and WCW, in which Rodman claimed WCW underpaid him for his "Bash at the Beach" PPV appearance, have been sorted out. If anything, WCW once again proves they are unwilling to learn from their own past mistakes. I wonder which WCW stars will be picked at random this time to lose to Rodman in poorly wrestled matches? I'm all giddy in anticipation of hearing Rodman's mouth-full-of-marbles interview stylings again. WCW also signed a deal with rapper Master P. But who cares, right? I've got a lot to say on the matter of the WWF's latest woes, but I'll save it for the end, for those needing their Monday night fix, but not inclined to hear me up on my soapbox. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Cleveland, Ohio. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Randy Savage and his entourage arrive in a white limo. Savage has the limo driver remove from the trunk what looks to be a bucket full of crap, presumably saved from his sewer shower last week. - HAK (w/ Chastity) vs. PRINCE IAUKEA Eric Bischoff joins Schiavone and Heenan, and the three immediately begin discussing Hak, who is smoking a cigarette. They say it's a violation of company policy. Bischoff says Hak is out of ship, and can't physically match up with Iaukea. The ref won't let the match start until Hak puts out the cigarette. J.J. Dillon comes out and tells him to put the butt out. Hak blows smoke in his face. Bischoff comes in and, after a few words, gives Hak a weak slap across the cheek. Hak lunges at Bischoff, but is held back by WCW security. The match then starts and the two go at it for a few seconds. Then Chastity sprays Iaukea and the ref with a fire extinguisher. Hak tries to put Iaukea through a table, but it doesn't break. He props it up in the corner and tries to throw him through it, but it again doesn't break. So he covers him and gets the pin. All through this Bischoff badmouths Hak for being a slob. Hak is then attacked by Hugh Morrus, Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart. Kidman comes out for the save. At this point a fight or something breaks out at ringside, which the cameras won't show. Bischoff makes a few cracks about the fans being drunk, wild, etc. The wrestler brawl winds up as a draw of sorts. The Nitro Girls are sent out to soothe the crowd a bit. My apologies if any of the above sounded exciting, because it wasn't. - "Last Week" highlights package. - Bischoff decides to stick around a bit, and revives his asshole character from 1995 by giving away what's going to happen on RAW, and taking shots at Vince McMahon and the WWF. He then mentions the Dennis Rodman/Master P signings. Ironically, Eric accuses them of "rehashing that same old crap over and over". Oh Eric, look in a mirror, will ya! - LENNY LANE vs. SCOTTY RIGGS Of course WCW gives us two guys who are using gimmicks done to death by the likes of Paul "Mr. Wonderful" Orndorff, "Ravishing" Rick Rude and "The Narcissist" Lex Luger. Even Bischoff admits this, making his earlier hypocrisy regarding the WWF all the more glaring. Lodi puts in a pointless appearance at ringside. Riggs wins, overcoming his tights having been pulled down and exposing his ass to the crowd. WCW: We're G-Rated! Ric Flair kills several minutes of my life energy explaining to Chris Benoit how he can return to greatness by forgiving Ric Flair, trusting him, and returning to the Four Horsemen fold. Saturn then comes in and demands a World Tag Team Title rematch. Flair tells Benoit that he had something like that in mind already, and that he and Benoit should team up for a shot at the titles. Saturn gets pissed and stalks off, stating he'll get his shot at the titles somewhere down the road. Benoit agrees to the match. - Savage, Madusa, Gorgeous George and Miss Madness hit the ring. He says Kevin Nash is nowhere in the building, but that if he were, he'd get the bucket of crap poured on him. WCW: We're G-Rated! The whole near side front row, by the way, is populated by fans holding up beer cups, flashing the middle finger, and making "jerk-off" motions. WCW: Our Fans Are G-Rated! Some guy on the far side of the ring puts his buddy in the Torture Rack. Savage pretty much challenges anyone to come out. Enter Sting, who challenges Savage to a match. Savage accepts. I don't know which is more distracting: the fan at ringside wearing the viking helmet, or the fan at ringside wearing the Mighty Thor helmet? (Actually the most distracting thing is Savage's fuzzy pink jacket.) - Kevin Nash comes to the ring carrying a big, heavy gym bag. Hmmm ... gym bag, bucket of crap, why am I suddenly thinking of Sable? Anyway, Nash sets this gym bag on a chair and calls out Savage. When Savage and his women arrive, he and Nash trade a few barbs. Nash starts to leave, but says he'll come back if Savage puts down the bucket and his women hold the ropes open for him. Savage goes into a rant, all the time ignoring the gym bag on the chair, which starts to wiggle. Eventually the zipper slides open, and out crawls a skinny female contortionist. No one else in the ring notices her, allowing her to take Savage's crap bucket and pour its contents all over the Macho Man. Ahh ... gotta love turd humor. WCW: We're G-Rated! People always joke about pro-wrestling being a "circus". Well, WCW's got the contortionist to prove it! (You think Nicole Bass might be the "bearded lady"?) Things wrap up with a lot of footage of the WCW crew being all grossed out while cleaning out the ring. We're now well into Hour Two, and since RAW has just started, no time for a commercial break. Instead it's right to ... HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - CHRIS BENOIT/RIC FLAIR vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE/BAM BAM BIGELOW Arn Anderson accompanies Flair and Benoit. Benoit starts for his team, and things seem to be going relatively, until he needs to tag Flair in late in the match. Flair, who's tagged in earlier, this time just walks away, ignoring the protestations of Anderson. Arn climbs up, intent on taking Flair's place, but Saturn comes out at that moment, and accepts the tag-in from Benoit. Saturn is a house afire, and in short order plants DDP with the Death Valley Driver and covers for the pin. Saturn and Benoit win the World Tag Team Titles, making them easily the best tag team in North America. I just wish in 1999 that actually meant all that much. Kanyon comes in to celebrate with Saturn, but then turns his embrace into a Flatliner, as DDP and BBB attack Benoit. The three stomp the new champs into the mat, then abscond with the tag team belts. Man, WCW is taking all the stuff that was rumored to be happening at the PPV and doing them tonight. Message to fans? Do NOT buy the PPV. I did like this match, though. - Non-wrestling note: why the hell does TNT keep hyping the June 20th airing of "Pirates of Silicon Valley" as its "world premiere", and the "first chance to see it anywhere"? I saw the damn movie, on TNT, like three Sundays ago! TNT runs this ad during at least one commercial break of every show, 24 hours a day. Enough already! - DJ Ran & the Nitro Girls. - LA PARKA/SILVER KING vs. DAMIEN/CICLOPE This is "Falls Count Anywhere, Mexican Hardcore Match". A cart full of plunder is wheeled to the ring. Like most other WCW hardcore matches, the announcers laugh at most of the action. Some wild stuff here, including a spinning DDT off the apron onto a table (on the floor). La Parka powerbombs Damien onto two chairs and gets the win for his team. - DJ Ran plays a little country music, making fun of Curt Hennig. - Scott Norton confronts the NWO Black & White in the lockerroom, asking them were they were last week. They tell him to relax, that the NWO is 4 Life. - ERNEST MILLER (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. HORACE Miller socks Horace with the tire iron en route to victory. The NWO come out, scaring off Miller and Onoo. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Piper rambles on about Flair for a bit, then calls out Buff Bagwell. Those two engage in an incomprehensible conversation, talking about "grabbing the ball", "carrying the ball", and a lot of other stuff that a cynic might translate as some kind of gay code. The upshot (if I understood Piper right) is that if he's sick of hearing the younger guys in WCW complain about being held back, and after he beats Flair at the next PPV, guys like Bagwell are finally going to get what's coming to them. I've lost track of whether Piper's supposed to be a spokesperson for the "young blood" in WCW, or if he's supposed to represent the "old blood". - Savage's women are hanging out in Kevin Nash's limo. Nash chases them out, stuffs his gear in the trunk, then climbs in. Not surprisingly the driver turns out to be Randy Savage, marking the third week-in-a-row WCW has done something either "inspired" or a blatant rip-off of WWF angles. Savage pulls the limo forward, then bails out just before a white stretch hummer smashes into the passenger side of the car. After a few more smacks, we last see Nash's arm snaking out the broken window, trying to get the smashed door handle to work. In the real world, Savage would now be arrested as an accessory to felony vehicular assault. - REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. BOBBY DUNCUM, JR. Curt Hennig joins the announce team. Konnan hooks up with DJ Ran. Why are Konnan and Mysterio wearing gas masks? Rey has his hair shaved off again, making him look like a 1/8th size clone of Konnan. (Konnan's no Dr. Evil, though.) Konnan and Hennig square off over their mics, trading insults that reach the scintillating level of: "You suck!" "No, you suck!" Hennig interferes in the match, causing a DQ, and Konnan makes the save. Maybe this is just my Minnesotan sensibilities speaking, but I really hate the thing Konnan does where he grabs the front of his pants and scampers like he's riding a stick pony. - Replay of Savage's attempted murder plot. Schiavone shows a lot of concern for the condition of Nash, but makes no mention whatsoever of the TWO CAMERAMEN who were filming in the limo (one in back with Nash, one in the front passenger seat). Schiavone hypes the mystery surrounding who was driving the hummer. - They come back from commercial just long enough to tell us Nash is being attended to by paramedics, then go back to another commercial. - DJ Ran. Nitro Girls. - Replay of the Tank Abbott stuff last week. - Scott Steiner hits the ring and does his thing. Rick Steiner looks on. - Replay of the Savage/contortionist/crap bucket debacle. - Disco Inferno comes out and complains that Buff Bagwell didn't stand up to Roddy Piper when he had the chance. Bagwell comes back out and ... - BUFF BAGWELL vs. DISCO INFERNO Bagwell with the Buff Blockbuster. They take a commercial break in the middle of the match. - Commercial. Nitro Girl routine. Commercial. They must be making up for that long stretch between hours one and two. - "MACHO MAN" RANDY SAVAGE vs. STING Early in the match Savage throws powder in Sting's eyes. He then knocks out the ref, causing a DQ. Miss Madness tries to give Sting a huracanrana off the buckles, but Sting pushes her off. Sting then goes for a Stinger Splash on Savage, but Savage pushes Madusa in the way. I may have some of this stuff in the wrong order, but you get the idea. Anyway, the Steiner Brothers run in to attack Sting, and Lex Luger comes out with a baseball bat to make the save. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: My reaction to the show? Eh. Even when they do some good--and no mistake about it, this was probably WCW's best show in weeks--it's still usually just a small part of the weekly three hour marathon of crap. None of the angles are amounting to much. At least there were some okay matches this time, though. Hour Three really sucked. What exactly does Eric Bischoff think he's bringing to the table? I'm not talking about his shots at the WWF. That I'm used to. No, what I'm talking about is what does he think he's providing as a plus to WCW's product? It seems like all he's concerned with is getting some face time on TV. One second he's a face, the next he's a heel. One moment he's playing up to the "smarts", the next he's playing along with the corny, unbelievable angles. One minute he says he has no power in WCW, the next he's talking about making changes, learning from his mistakes, and doing the best he can to put WCW back on top of the wrestling business. Exactly how are you going to do that, Eric? You can't be both a powerless on-screen announcer AND the real life President of WCW, and acknowledge BOTH on TV. It reminds me of what Bischoff did throughout 1996, or like when Vince McMahon tried to be both announcer and owner of the WWF. Neither worked. One had to be abandoned, and the other embraced to create a character that the fans were interested in seeing. Either you're a player, or you're on the sidelines. You can't do both AND expect the fans to give a rat's ass. I'll close with a string of questions brought up by this show: First, why did Kevin Nash bring a contortionist in a gym bag to the arena? How did he know Randy Savage would be bringing a bucket or crap, thus allowing Nash the opportunity to pour it over Savage's head? How lucky is he that Savage didn't start stomping on the bag when he entered the ring? What would have happened if she couldn't get the zipper open? Was the girl back in Nash's bag when he put it in the trunk of the limo, which was smashed by the humvee? So many, many questions. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Boston, Massachusetts. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - How many times now has that Roddy Piper episode of "Walker Texas Ranger" been on before RAW? USA must do that on purpose. - "Last Week" highlight clip, followed by the explosions and the muscles and the unintelligible grunting. Hey, no Sable! - Vince McMahon, dressed in his fighting gear, makes his way to the ring. Addressing the crowd, he says he too is interested to see who the "Greater Power" is. He drops a few names, like Shawn Michaels and Jake "the Snake" Roberts. All speculation aside, McMahon says he is convinced his own son Shane is the Greater Power. He says he wants a piece of the Greater Power, and challenges Shane to a No Holds Barred match, with the winner getting full control of the WWF (Vince's fifty percent vs. Shane's fifty percent). Shane comes out, accepts the match, but assures everyone that he isn't the Greater Power. You'd have to be blind not to see where this is going. Steve Austin is in the parking area, leaning in to talk to someone in a white limo. The fact that he isn't swearing indicates that they're a friend, and the limo being white signifies they're a good guy. - The Corporate Ministry makes its way to the ring. The Undertaker does the honors, introducing the Greater Power (called "Higher Power"--oops!) The robed figure from last week makes its way to the ring. Grabbing a mic, the figure seems to speak, sounding just like Shane McMahon. Shane, though, emerges from the top of the stage, telling us that as he assured earlier, he is not the Greater Power. Shane calls for Vince to come out and see who the Greater Power is, but Vince appears on theTitan-Tron and says he's just fine where he's at backstage. Shane tells the Greater Power, who describes as a calculating manipulator and a master at mind games, to remove his hood and reveal himself. The hood lowers ... and it's Vince McMahon. (Oh, don't act so shocked.) Vince looks like the Devil himself. "I fooled you all" he gloats to the crowd. "You all fell for it!" All of this, Stephanie being kidnapped, Shane turning on Vince and heading up the Corporate Ministry, McMahon fighting on Austin's behalf, was all part of a master scheme to make Austin's life a living hell. And some of it worked, seeing as how McMahon made sure Austin lost the WWF Championship to the Undertaker at the last PPV. McMahon says there is no price he won't pay, no depth to which he won't stoop, the be the very bane of Steve Austin's existence. He begins thanking each and every member of the Corporate Ministry for their participation in this conspiracy. Linda and Stephanie McMahon appear on the stage. See, it turns out the McMahon Women aren't too pleased that they were used and abused just to get back at Steve Austin. Vince says it was all just business, and adds to his wife that he really, really loves her. She says she loves him too, but that love has nothing to do with business. She clarifies a bit of inaccuracy that Vince has been passing off to the fans: he and Shane don't each own fifty percent of the WWF. In fact, all four McMahon family members own a quarter interest in the company. Linda, who is the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, announces that earlier in the day she stepped down from that position, but not before she announced her hand-picked replacement. As befitting the style of the WWF's new CEO, there will be some changes in the corporate headquarters, including a relaxing of the dress code, an increase in usage of profanity, and the imbibing of alcoholic beverages. I don't need to drag this out any more, do I? Out comes "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, the new CEO of the WWF. The fans, ready to lynch Vince McMahon a few minutes earlier, couldn't be any happier. Austin, clipboard in hand and power tie around neck (which he trades for a power middle finger), announces a few changes in the schedule of events: * Foregoing his shot at the Undertaker and the WWF Championship (though he'll get his shot eventually) at the King of the Ring PPV, Austin will be facing father Vince and son Shane in a handicap match. McMahon accepts, but adds that he'll use what power he has to slip in a few stipulations. * For tonight, since Shane screwed X-Pac and Kane out of the Tag Team Titles last week, Shane will have to face Kane and X-Pac himself in a handicap match tonight. * Triple H, who put Mick Foley out with a sledgehammer to the knee (Austin throws a shout out to Foley, whose birthday it is today), will face the Rock in a "Cast Match". Since the Rock already has a cast on his arm, Triple H will have to have a cast put on his leg! * And the rest of the Union, they get free reign to wrestle against whosoever they choose tonight. - Austin, Linda and Stephanie shake hands over screwing up Vince McMahon's life. Austin is then presented with a corporate welcoming gift--a briefcase filled with beer. - THE BROOD (w/ Christian) vs. THE ACOLYTES Yeah, the first hour's three-quarters over, I suppose we should have a match. The Brood hold their own for a while, but are eventually overpowered by Faarooq and Bradshaw, who pins Gangrel with the Clothesline From Hell. Michael Hayes and the Hardy Boyz put in an appearance to keep their feud with the Brood alive. We get a good look at some fans ringside wearing Mankind and Kane masks. The Union are making their way to the ring. - ... and here they come. CEO Austin (is that like CPO Sharkey?) told the Union members that they could wrestle whoever they want. "The Big Show" Paul Wight starts off, saying he wants a shot at the Undertaker, who you may recall busted a baseball bat across Wight's head a few weeks back. Shamrock, who was supposed to face Jeff Jarrett in a "Lion's Den Match" tonight (the cage for which is next to the stage), instead wants to get his hands on Vince McMahon. Cut to reaction shots of Vince and Shane watching all this backstage. Shamrock was the one who came to McMahon's aid when Stephanie was kidnapped, and it was Shamrock who rescued her from the Boiler Room. (Give the WWF some credit: there trying to plug as many plot holes as possible that Vince being the Greater Power created.) Shamrock wants to teach Vince a lesson for using him, and plans on doing so in the Lion's Den cage. Test is last, and he has one simple request: he wants a date with Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie comes out and accepts. Vince and Shane throw fits, since Test picked a date with their little girl instead of a match. Triple H is backstage getting his leg put into a plaster cast by the WWF sawbones. Chyna looks on. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - X-PAC/KANE vs. SHANE MCMAHON Not much to call here. Shane gets tossed around for a bit, and takes a Bronco Ride from X-Pac, until he's "saved" by the two fans in the front row wearing the masks. Off they come, revealing Rodney and Pete Gas of the Mean Streets Posse. Those two are then jumped by Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco, who--now that McMahon has turned--are left without an ass to kiss. The Rock is getting ready. - Michael Cole gets a few words from Debra, who is supposed to defend her Women's Title against Nicole Bass tonight. Debra points out that she has a 30 day period in which to defend her title, and would rather face Nicole in a Bikini Contest. If Nicole wins, she can get a wrestling match for the belt. If Debra wins, Nicole has to "bark up another tree and leave *my* puppies alone." What Sable? - TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna) vs. THE ROCK This one's all the Rock, who in short order lays Triple H out with a chair, and sets up for the People's Elbow on him (onto a chair on Helmsley's face). The Undertaker is in to cause the DQ. Chokeslam. Paul Wight runs in for the save. Not seeing a whole lot of the Rock these days. I imagine that'll change soon enough. Debra's backstage taking her puppies for a walk. - DEBRA MCMICHAEL (w/ Jeff Jarrett) vs. NICOLE BASS (w/ Val Venis) Jerry Lawler volunteers to be the master of ceremonies. The fans get to decide the winner. I'll make this short and sweet: Nicole's body actually ain't that bad (it's just that face which stops clocks, scares children, etc.), but Debra and her puppies walk away in a breeze. Jarrett and Venis then get into a shoving match, which leads to Nicole trying to smash Jeff's own guitar over his head, but Debra pulls him aside, and Val takes the shot instead. Val looks like he's going to kick Nicole to the curb, but instead she brays "you got a PROBLEM!" and walks out on him. If there's anything Venis can't take, it's a chick walking out on him. Nicole may manage to get over with the fans because of this. Then again, maybe not. - The next installment of "GTV" (no longer "GDTV"). In this installment, we see Terri Runnels and Jacqueline lounging around in towels in their lockerroom. Ryan Shamrock joins them a few moments later, coming out of the shower. they talk about the men of the WWF, until Terri gets to her ex-hubby Dustin, at which point the signal comes out. No doubt any longer that this has something to do with Goldust. - "MR. ASS" BILLY GUNN vs. THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) Godfather has a choice selection of Ho's with him this week--seven in all. The match sees the white-legged Road Dogg come out to interfere, and the Godfather getting the opportune pin. The former New Age Outlaws break out into a chase sequence, as the Godfather plays monkey pile with the Ho's in the ring. Have I mentioned lately that he has the GREATEST GIMMICK EVER INVENTED!? - Michael Cole's in the back to get comments from Darren Drozdov and Prince Albert. Droz shows off his famous puke-on-demand skills. Albert lets loose with some chunder of his own. Cole looks like he too is about to hurl. This was just gross. - A look at the Undertaker backstage. - AL SNOW (w/ Head) vs. DROZ (w/ Prince Albert) Hardcore Title match, which immediately strays from the ring, to the backstage area, to a sports bar which is part of the overall arena facility. Some poor schmoe using the phone gets wiped out. Droz throws a plate at Snow. Snow dumps Droz on the bar and tries to slide him along, but Droz friction rubs to a halt (ouch!) Snow busts a big plant in holder over Droz's head. He then knocks him with a big wooden knob and covers for the pin. I noticed during this Jim Ross taking a shot at certain "geriatric league" wrestlers. Thanks, Eric, for reigniting the petty war of words. Hey, there's Ken Shamrock. And there's Vince, making his way out front. Michael Cole catches up and tries to asks a question, but a mic problem offers silence. We do hear McMahon's response, though, which is that he isn't afraid of Ken Shamrock. - KEN SHAMROCK vs. VINCE MCMAHON Vince is in first, and he tries to chain the door shut. Shamrock comes out, but he's held at bay by McMahon holding the door shut. When the chain comes loose, McMahon grabs it and wraps it around his fist. That's about all that transpires, though, as Jeff Jarrett comes out and busts his guitar over Shamrock's head. The unconscious Shamrock tumbles in through the open door of the Lion's Den cage. McMahon grabs his leg and applies the anklelock submission. With Shamrock out, the ref has no choice but to call the match. McMahon hightails it before Shamrock can come to. Add this to McMahon's Royal Rumble victory and his win over the Undertaker. Hmmmm. Undertaker. Wight. Next. - Vince and Shane pile into a limo and head for greener pastures. - THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. "THE BIG SHOW" PAUL WIGHT An even match-up, which isn't exciting due to its pace, but it sure is something to see these behemoths go at it. Lots of punches and kicks. Chokeslam attempt by the undertaker, countered by a chokeslam attempt from Wight. The Taker breaks the stalemate with a low kick. Flying clothesline by the Undertaker. The action spills to the floor. Taker sent into the steel ring steps. The two move around to the announcer side of the ring and nearly wipe out the desk. Chairshot by the Undertaker. Back into the ring they go. The Undertaker climbs the buckles. Off he comes--smack-dab into a chokeslam. Make that a Chokelsam to Hell, as Wight plows the Undertaker completely through the ring to the unseen floor below! Cool spot (inspired by an ECW spot, which in turn was inspired by a WWF spot, which in turn was inspired by another spot ... etc.) With the ring demolished, referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell. Other Ministry members then run in, but Wight sends them all bouncing with chokeslams too. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Awesome visual to end the night, but I can't say much about the wrestling this week. Did they even hit fifteen minutes worth? I can't say the show was boring, though, just not filled with a whole lot of action. I guess my own reaction to Vince being the Greater Power is about 50/50: I half liked it, and half hated it. I'll admit that the only reason I liked it at all is because the WWF did what I said they should about six months ago: have Linda McMahon come in and rain on Vince's parade. The bit with her and Stephanie established that not all that we saw in the last three months was a sham. It turns out Stephanie really was kidnapped by the Undertaker, it's just that Vince was the one who orchestrated it. His outrage at the Ministry, his verbal and physical clashes with Shane and the Undertaker, his trying to run over Midian with his car--those were all part of his master plan to make Austin's life a living hell. And there lies the major shortcoming of the storyline, which is mirrored by my half-and-half reaction to it. The plan only half worked. It succeeded in getting the WWF Championship away from Austin. But it failed in that Austin was never really taken in by it. Austin never accepted Vince's change in heart. He never was thankful for the gestures McMahon made to him, including his match against the Undertaker last week to get him another shot at the title. Austin simply never bought into the "kinder, gentler" Vince McMahon. The fans did, though. We all got suckered by McMahon. McMahon taunting the fans really brought that point home. That's where the storyline succeeded best. It's also what will make a lot of people hate this development. People like to be fooled, but they generally hate to be made fools of. The WWF wisely tempered the blow of McMahon turning heel again by making Austin CEO of the WWF in the manner they did. McMahon made us all hate him again, and rather hold that hate against the WWF, they set up a way for us to channel that anger: backing Steve Austin in making life for Vince a living hell. Had the WWF ended the show with Vince triumphant as the Greater Power, the fans would have gone home pissed. As it is the crowd quickly and easily slipped back into that position they were in three months ago of hating McMahon, and rooting for Austin to kick his ass. I think they executed all of this quite well. I'm just not convinced that this direction is better than where we were two weeks ago before this "Greater Power" thing flared up. I liked McMahon as the good guy, and Shane as the evil son trying to take over the WWF. The Austin/McMahon storyline had gotten old by the time Austin captured the WWF Championship at WrestleMania. This storyline did kill three months, but now we're right back to that same old spot we were three months ago. Austin vs. McMahon will be hot again for a month or so, but after that ... ? I just don't see where they can go with this after the matches at King of the Ring. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: It's been a tough week for the World Wrestling Federation. Not really for anything they've done, but for what others seem intent on doing to them. First, there's been the growing smear campaign on behalf of the Hart family, done to counter the spin doctoring Vince McMahon has attempted in the wake of Owen Hart's death. The Harts, who blame McMahon for Owen's death, are slowly but surely beginning a campaign which, if successful, could bring about the near-ruination of the WWF. In addition to a forthcoming multimillion dollar lawsuit, they are reportedly pressing for criminal charges to be filed against the WWF. They've blasted McMahon and the WWF in print media, on radio shows and television. The media is picking up the ball and running with it, with several down-and-dirty "expose" shows being planned to further rip into the WWF. The biggest anti-WWF critics on the Internet have joined the fight, doing whatever they can to make everything the WWF has said or done in the last few weeks be viewed as being done with evil intentions. Few have questioned the motives of the Hart family, since they get a free pass for being a family in grief. The WWF, on the other hand, whether they do something intentionally, unintentionally, mistakenly, whatever the case may be, find everything they do being painted with the same negative brush. McMahon hasn't even been able to present his side of the story without being accused of beating up on a poor, defenseless widow in grief. As if Owen Hart's death didn't give them enough damage control to deal with, they then found themselves being sued by Rena Mero--the artist formerly known as "Sable". Rena quit the WWF late last week, and filed a lawsuit against the company in excess of 100 million dollars. Creative differences, and a runaway ego on Mero's behalf, contributed to her deciding to leave the company. Mero balked at certain angles the WWF pitched to her, then became angered when the WWF made the subsequent decision to move her out of the spotlight. The last straw came when the WWF stripped her of the Women's Championship because she didn't want to wrestle anymore. Let me repeat that: Mero didn't want to wrestle anymore, so the WWF took her title away. They also wanted her to "accidentally" expose her breasts, which the two-time Playboy model refused to do. It's no secret that Mero was almost universally disliked in the WWF lockerroom. Numerous WWF employees felt her ego was out of control, that she was being paid too much money for doing too little, and that her demeanor and personality simply weren't that conducive to making friends. It was an argument with Mero that got Luna Vachon "suspended" by the WWF, which lead to most of the other women in the WWF being wary of her. It was this climate which lead her to be the butt of numerous jokes, one incident in particular involving a gym bag and human fecal matter being cited as one of the reasons she decided to quit. Taking this incident into account, and some others, Mero is now making a claim of sexual harassment, a road Vince McMahon and the WWF have had to travel down before. Also, perhaps capitalizing on Owen Hart's death, she's claiming that the WWF offered her an "unsafe working environment", in that she was "forced" to wrestle without being properly trained. (I wonder if Mero will refund the WWF all that extra money they've paid her for all the stuff they've "forced" her to do?) Mero is also suing to retain the rights to the "Sable" name. Not being able to call her "Sable" will sure hurt her--and Playboy--this fall when they publish her second nude photo spread. Mero is also making accusations of rampant drug use in the WWF, which in no way helps her case, but goes a long way towards making the WWF look bad, and Vince McMahon look bad for being unable to control his employees. The mainstream media, already walking a WWF beat because of Owen Hart's death, picked up the Mero story and gave it play. More fuel for the fire that is slowly roasting the WWF and Vince McMahon alive. The short term prognosis for the WWF looks sketchy. There is still a mountain of bad press waiting in the wings, as Owen Hart's death and Mero's quitting will continue to be rehashed and thrown in their faces for weeks and months to come. The WWF has already heard rumblings from a few of their bigger ad sponsors that if things continue to get ugly, they will pull out of their deals with the WWF, potentially causing the WWF to lose millions of dollars. Bad press of this nature might also convince certain retailers to pull WWF merchandise off their shelves. Imagine the hit the WWF would take if retail chains such as Wal-Mart, K-Mart or Target refused to sell WWF action figures, posters, t-shirts or theme music CD's. There's also the forthcoming WWF Smackdown show this fall on the UPN network. The networks have a history of shying away from anything with the slightest hint of controversy to it. UPN knew the WWF would be bringing certain baggage with them, but there's a limit to what a broadcast network will endure. If these controversies haven't died down by fall, don't be shocked to see them pull out of the WWF deal and drop the show from their lineup. While some of this seems to be simple gloom-and-doom overreaction, it's not out of the realm of possibility in coming about. It all depends on what the WWF's continuing strategy is in combatting these controversies, and whether or not anything else negative comes down the pike. If things go well for the WWF it may just be business-as-usual, in what is now the most successful period the company has ever enjoyed. If things get worse, and the WWF makes a mistake, miscalculation, or pulls an outright blunder, then we could see a repeat of what happened to them back in the early 90's. There are already eerie reminders of that period in evidence. The WWF was hurt when anti-violence forces mobilized to "clean up" the TV airwaves. A similar phenomenon is in effect again today, what with the recent spate of high school shootings, the continuing debate over violence in Hollywood and video games, the impending arrival of the V-Chip, etc. Earlier this decade, high production costs killed the WWF's ability to sell their programming via syndication. The WWF is now tied down to one cable network (and UPN this fall), and were anything to happen to either of those relationships, it would be easily as devastating as when the WWF all but disappeared from syndicated TV in the mid-90's. The WWF was also hit with a number of high profile lawsuits involving steroids and sexual harassment, which drained the WWF of millions of dollars and almost totally destroyed their focus on delivering a quality product. Less than a decade later the WWF is again faced with a string of lawsuits which, even if the WWF were to settle, look to drain the company of untold millions. Some fans may wonder what the loss of such money could possibly mean to them? Well, past history has shown that such monetary losses are almost always reflected in the talent the WWF uses. After cutting back on expenses, productions costs and so on, the next thing to go are employees. The WWF is already strained to the point where they have barely enough talent to fill their current needs. Those needs will be increasing this fall with the addition of two hours worth of Smackdown every week. The WWF is already looking into possibly acquiring the services of some of the bigger name "free agents" out there on the market. With these controversies mounting, and the WWF possibly taking a hit in the money department, such stars may not be so inclined to make the jump to the WWF. Add into that the possibility of existing WWF stars deciding to leave, and things could get real rough for the WWF and its fans. Think this can't happen? There's already talk that Shane Douglas and Sycho Sid, both believed to have been negotiating with the WWF, have decided to go to WCW instead. It's time for fans of the WWF to rally around the company. Not to gloss over any mistakes the company has made, or overlook any misdeeds they may have committed, but to learn from those tragedies and mistakes, and look past them to the future. In recent years all the WWF has had to worry about was being better than WCW--at beating them in the head-to-head war. Now that they've surpassed them, essentially leaving them in the dust, it now seems like it's the WWF vs. the World. Now because the WWF has committed a few mistakes, and done some stuff that was outright bad, the world is striking back. WWF fans shouldn't take that lying down. Few WWF critics stop to realize that many of the shots taken at the WWF are also, by their very nature, shots taken at the WWF's fans. There's nothing wrong with being a fan of the WWF because the WWF, for the most part, isn't doing anything wrong. When the WWF does something wrong, though, or makes a mistake, it isn't fair to hold that against the fans. The best WWF fans should be right there along with everyone else calling for the WWF to be accountable when they screw up. If I were to make a challenge to the WWF's fans, it would be on that very point. At the same time I would challenge the WWF critics to look at themselves and examine their motives in their continuing WWF bashing. If the WWF deliberately does something that is wrong, then they should, of course, be called upon the carpet. But if the WWF does something that is simply a mistake, how about cutting them some slack and treating it like the mistake it is, and not Step #943 Of Vince McMahon's Evil Plot To Take Over The World. In the long run the WWF, and its fans, have to brace themselves for a downturn in the business. It's inevitable. Whether the WWF is now at its peak, or has still a bit further to climb, there will come the day when the begin the descent down the other side of that mountain. What the WWF does right now will determine how fast they descend and how far down they will go. There's no doubt this downturn will come. It'll just be a damned shame if that downturn is somehow accelerated by bad press, lawsuits and such. Where goes the WWF, so goes the entire professional wrestling business. Some of those WWF critics who consider themselves wrestling fans may want to consider that. Think of it as the difference between "constructive criticism" and "destructive criticism". As of right now, the WWF is only receiving the latter. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 186 of the "Monday Night Recap", June 7th, 1999.