Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #185 May 31st, 1999 The Opening Word: I'm still not over it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Houston, Texas. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - No limo's this week, so the three cameramen roving around outside film Raven walking into the arena instead. Lucky for us, he's attacked by Diamond Dallas Page and Bam Bam Bigelow (otherwise all we'd have gotten was footage of someone walking). Raven winds up in a dumpster. There's a joke there, but I'll let it slide. - A lengthy video package recounts virtually everything that took place on last week's Nitro and Thunder. - Nitro Girls. DJ Ran. SSSSUUUUURRRRRRRRGGGGGGGEEEE!!!!! cans. - Eddy Guerrero comes out to join the announce team. They show photos of the car wreck which put him on the shelf. Hey, I though the NWO beat up Eddy, and that's why he's been gone all this time? Seeing the pics of the car it's a real miracle Guerrero survived. - HAK (w/ Chastity) vs. KIDMAN Schiavone spends most of this match talking about Tank Abbott, who made a surprise appearance at Thunder last week. The match itself is the usual clusterf**k all WCW's "hardcore" matches have become lately. After several minutes of irrelevant action, Hugh Morrus, Jimmy Hart and Brian Knobbs all run in, causing a DQ (in a no-DQ match). Speaking of Tank Abbott, he and his posse come out during the match. He announces that he'll be the guest referee in tonight's main event Steel Cage Match between Sting and Rick Steiner. Schiavone accepts this at face value, so I guess we have to accept it at face value as well. - In the President's office, Ric Flair orders up eight girls to be delivered to his hotel room. Is that legal? Flair then tells J.J. Dillon that he's banning Randy Savage's elbowdrop off the top. Then, just to make sure none of us stay sane, the following exchange tales place: Flair: "Who's going to ban it?" Dillon: "You're banning it." Flair: "I'm banning it?" Dillon: "Absolutely." Flair: "Who's banning it on tonight's show?" Dillon: "You can ban it." Flair: "Okay, I'm banning it then. I'm banning Savage's elbow. He can never use it again in WCW, on television, on Nitro, PPV's, nowhere." Dillon: "I'm just your backup saying it's official." Flair: "But who's banning it?" Dillon: "You're banning it!" Flair: "I'm banning it tonight on the show?" Dillon: "Yeah." Flair: "Okay, tonight it's banned." Dillon: "Yeah." Flair: "What segment am I on?" Dillon: "What?" Flair: "What segment am I on?" Dillon: "You can be on every segment if you want!" Flair: "Okay. It's banned. Savage's elbow is banned." - Schiavone and Heenan talk about what a badass Tank Abbott is. Guerrero then says goodbye, and thanks Eric Bischoff for not firing him. Oh, puh-leeze! - DDP and BBB hit the ring. DDP trashes the crowd. They'll get a shot at the Tag Team Titles later tonight, if Saturn and Kanyon accept the challenge. - Mike Tenay comes across Saturn and Kanyon entering the building. He tells them about Raven being sent to the hospital. they accept DDP and BBB's challenge. - DJ Ran. Nitro Girls. - Curt Hennig comes out to complain about rap music. He hooks up with Bobby Duncum, Jr. and the two of them chase DJ Ran away from his turntables. Hennig and Duncum then warble out a few lines of a country song. As they begin "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You", they are halted by the arrival of Konnan and Rey Mysterio, Jr., dressed in Houston Astros shirts (suck-ups). Insults fly, punches are thrown, and an impromptu match is on for later tonight. - A video clip reminds us that the Hennig/Konnan feud wasn't just pulled out of thin air. Well, it was, but last week, not tonight. - VAN HAMMER vs. EVAN KARAGIAS Evan's tights read "outrageous". Shouldn't that be "awtragias"? Hammer takes the remainder of hour one to get the squash win here, slamming the rookie with a Cobra Clutch. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Roddy Piper. Long story short: Piper brings out Dean Malenko, who talks about Flair walking away from himself and Chris Benoit. Ric Flair and Arn Anderson come out. Flair seems to have somehow injured himself between now and the earlier "ban the elbow" bit, as he's wearing a bandage on his forehead. Malenko continues the brewing "young vs. old" angle, saying it's time to pass the torch to the likes of himself and Benoit. Flair says he won't pass the torch if he can't find anyone who can carry it. More words are exchanged and Malenko walks out. Piper and Flair then come to blows. Clocking in at well over ten minutes, couldn't they have at least been bothered to set up a match or something? - Nitro Girls. - CURT HENNIG/BOBBY DUNCUM, JR. vs. KONNAN/REY MYSTERIO, JR. Konnan and Mysterio appear to be dressed in prison issue orange jumpsuits. Eric Bischoff joins the announce team, and does that annoying bit where half of what he says is designed to make him sound "hip", and the other half is supposed to suck up to the "smart" fans. Neither half works. This match drags on for five minutes or so, ending in a DQ when Duncum uses his bullrope. Rematch at the PPV, I'd assume. - Randy Savage comes out and offers up some grunts. Madusa comes out and says Kevin Nash is in the building. Savage calls Nash out, but there's no sign of the champ. DDP and BBB are standing over a laid out Kanyon in the back. - ERIK WATTS vs. DAVID FLAIR (w/ Torrie Wilson, Ric Flair & Arn Anderson) Bischoff plays up to the smarts by talking about the push Erik Watts got when his dad Bill Watts was running WCW. He says David sucks, seemingly forgetting that David actually beat him in a match. Anyway, Watts nearly kills David, only to fall victim to a spinebuster at the hands of Arn Anderson. David covers for the pin. Doesn't WCW realize that involving Ric Flair in THREE separate angles at the same time is a bit too much for him? - A pair of commercial breaks are interrupted by a clip of Randy Savage humiliating Kevin Nash last week. - Buff Bagwell tells President Flair that he'd like a match against Randy Savage. Flair hates Savage, right? So Flair says ... no. He says Bagwell isn't at Savage's level. Bagwell will instead get a match against ... "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton. "He still works here?" asks Bagwell. - Ernest Miller (with Sonny Onoo) comes out to do his usual "I'm the Greatest" routine. Scott Norton comes out, leading to ... - ERNEST MILLER (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. SCOTT NORTON The NWO B-Team watches the match on a monitor in the back. Norton is en route to destroying Miller once again when Onoo hands miller a crowbar, which he uses to knock Norton out. Miller gets the pin, while backstage the NWO decides to flee before Norton can come to and take his loss out on them. This wasn't as funny as WCW would like it to be, but I'll take any laughs I can get at this point. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Bobby Heenan's grandmother has joined the announce team. Oh wait, that's Eric Bischoff. Sorry. Bischoff tells us Tank Abbott has been nuts ever since he first met him back in 1994. - RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Madusa, Gorgeous George & Miss Madness) vs. KEVIN NASH "Kevin Nash, in this instance, turns out to be some shaggy guy wearing a dress and carrying a replica of Nash's World Title belt. Savage bodyslams him, Madusa kicks him, Miss Madness gives him a huracanrana off the top(!), and Gorgeous George drops an elbow off the second rope. Savage lands the supposedly illegal off-the-top-rope elbow and secures the pin. The fans boo Savage, but cheer on his women because of their large breasts. - Nitro Girls. - Thunder clip. - BUFF BAGWELL vs. "BEAUTIFUL" BOBBY EATON Buff with the Blockbuster. Whose bright idea was it to give Bobby Eaton a match in the third hour? - DJ Ran. - Replay of Raven being attacked. - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE/BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. SATURN This one seemed to last a half hour, but I guess it was really less than half that. DDP and BBB seem a sure bet to win the Tag Team Titles, but Saturn keeps battling back. Kanyon then runs in, having been released from the hospital or something, tags in, and is promptly felled by DDP with one blow. New World Tag Team Champions. Why does WCW only change titles on nights when the WWF ... oh, but let's not get to that just yet. This now completes the cycle for DDP, who has won every major WCW Title. - Savage and his women are climbing into his limo. A cameraman is posted inside for reasons which will soon become apparent. A pair of trucks pull up, one of which blocks Savage's limo. The other is a tanker used to empty septic tanks. Kevin Nash climbs out of the second truck, grabs a hose off the side, and pushes his rickety knees to the limit by climbing onto the roof of Savage's limo. Snaking the hose in through an open sunroof, Nash starts pumping sewage into the limo, soaking Savage and the gals. Well, I guess we all knew what a load of crap this show really was. His Steve Austin-esque antics finished, Nash makes a leisurely escape. Savage flounders out of the limo and yells "son-of-a-bitch!" over and over. The bumper into the next commercial includes a comical voiceover by Nash: "This portion of Monday Nitro is brought to you by 'Louis Septic Services', for all your *savage* septic needs." - DJ Ran with one final appearance. - STING vs. RICK STEINER Cut through some lackluster action to the finish, which sees Tank Abbott pull Steiner out of the way of a Stinger Splash. Abbott then nails Sting in the back of the head. Steiner pulls out a roll of tape and wraps Sting's wrists together around the top rope. Steiner pummels on Sting as Abbott walks out and the show ends. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Is it possible to "turn" on someone if you were never allied with them to begin with? Talk about hot-shotting an angle. This "Old Blood vs. Young Blood" feud that they're teasing would seem to hold promise, though I can't speak to that with any personal enthusiasm. For me it's just too late. Putting the young guys at the top of the card is a nice idea, in theory, but we all know the matches to facilitate that would stink to high heaven. Flair vs. anyone might be watchable, but what about Randy Savage? Or Piper? Or Hogan? And who exactly is the "Old Blood" in this feud? Only Flair and Savage have been singled out. Kevin Nash is as old as the rest, yet why do I suspect he'd be on the side of the younger guys? And Roddy Piper, he looks to be positioning himself as the leader of the "Young Blood" revolt! And then there's Hogan, just about to return as a hero bent on "cleaning up" WCW. Can we really reasonably expect him to do a one-eighty and be overthrown with the rest of the aging power elite? As a matter of practicality, I can't see this angle going much further than Malenko or Benoit beating Flair in an upcoming PPV match. As nice as that would be, I don't think it's enough to propel either any higher than they already are. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Taped 5/25. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Moline, Illinois. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Before the show can begin proper, Jim Ross sets up a clip with footage from Owen Hart's funeral. I had seen much of this footage (and more) throughout the day on various news channels (including the CBC and BBC World News). One clip the WWF didn't show, but one which got a lot of play in the media, is a shot of Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon shaking hands. The Harts are reportedly upset that the WWF showed this footage, since they specifically asked them not to. I don't blame them, but I would hope that they are also upset with the media's continuing coverage of this. (I believe some of this footage even appeared on "Larry King Live" on CNN, in conjunction with an appearance by Martha and Bret Hart.) - Video package recounting the World Title change at Over the Edge. - Several robed Druids carry the Undertaker's symbol to the ring. They are followed by the Undertaker, Shane McMahon, and other members of the Corporate Ministry. McMahon gloats over Austin's title loss. The Undertaker then announces that tonight Steve Austin will be sacrificed to the "Greater Power". Vince McMahon comes out upon the stage. He says Steve Austin was screwed, and that "tonight, I'm going to screw you!" The Undertaker will have to defend the title tonight against Austin in a rematch. Shane McMahon says no way, that the match will not be for the title. Vince continues, saying he'd like a little payback of his own for what the Undertaker has done to his family. Vince challenges the Undertaker to a match. Shane proposes that if Vince beats the Undertaker, then Austin's match against the Taker will be for the WWF Championship. If Vince loses, then Austin will never get another WWF Title shot. Also, no one can interfere on Vince's behalf. As the Ministry is leaving, and Lawler and Ross are discussing how Vince has no chance in hell to win, one of the Druids throws his hood back and reveals himself to be Steve Austin! Austin attacks the Undertaker. The rest of the Ministry comes to the Taker's aid, but are themselves attacked by members of the Union. WWF officials swarm in to split the two groups apart. - Austin lets the Union know in no uncertain terms that he doesn't appreciate their help. - "THE BIG SHOW" PAUL WIGHT vs "BADD ASS" BILLY GUNN Gunn has some success focusing on Wight's knee, but in general gets his ass kicked. He tries to walk out of the match, but is cut off by the Road Dogg, who rolls him back into the ring. Wight gives Gunn the Showstopper (chokeslam), however the bell has already rung, signaling a loss by Gunn via countout. Beaver Cleavage is in the back, nestling his head in his "mother's" cleavage. - Vince McMahon tells Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco that he doesn't care about winning, he just wants a little piece of the Undertaker. He warns the two of them not to interfere. - HARRY "BEAVER" CLEAVAGE (w/ Mrs. Cleavage) vs. CHRISTIAN DUMB GIMMICK!!! The match here actually isn't that bad, but ENOUGH OF THIS STUPID GIMMICK! Ha-ha, "beaver". Yoiks, "cleavage". There's nothing more stupid than taking a joke which is funny for all of five seconds and trying to create a wrestling persona out of it. I don't care how good the wrestler is, you've lost me with the stupid gimmick. Even if I were juvenile enough to laugh at the joke, how in god's name does the WWF expect me to laugh over and over again every week? His name might as well be "Poopie McFartie". The saddest part is that this guy clearly used to be one of the Headbangers, yet I'm supposed to really think his name is "Harry Beaver", and that woman is really his mother. And if the WWF said "relax, it's just a joke," my response would be "yes, and I laughed the first time I heard it two months ago." This is easily the dumbest thing the WWF has done in the last five years. Were it not for Chucky appearing in WCW last year, this would be the dumbest thing in ALL wrestling over the last five years. I feel less intelligent for just having watched it. Cleavage gets the win when the Hardy Boyz and Michael Hayes do a run-in on Christian, knocking him out with Hayes' walking stick. The ref, distracted by Mrs. Cleavage, misses the attack and counts the subsequent pin. Gangrel and Edge of the Brood then run out and they rumble with the Hardys and Hayes. Is it just me, or does it sound like the WWF is sweetening the crowd noise this week? The Undertaker confers with Shane McMahon backstage. - Vince McMahon is loosening up for his match. - JEFF JARRETT (w/ Debra McMichael) vs. THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) Jarrett uses Debra's WWF Women's Championship belt to clock the Godfather. He then covers for the pin, winning the Intercontinental Title. Paul Bearer, leading the Undertaker to the ring, has a good chuckle over the idea of his man wrestling Vince McMahon. - THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. VINCE MCMAHON Vince slides in under the bottom rope, and is stomped into the mat for his troubles. A low blow and some punches aside, it's all the Undertaker, until he is eventually DQ'ed for shoving aside the referee. Brisco and Patterson come out to check on their boss, and get a little taste of the beating he suffered. Michael Cole asks Steve Austin what he thought of Vince McMahon's efforts. Austin, who watched the match on a monitor in the back, is hardly appreciative. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Mankind comes out and challenges Triple H to a Hardcore rules match. After the break we see that Mankind has gotten into it with the Big Bossman, who has come out for the next match. - THE BIG BOSSMAN vs. ROAD DOGG In no time at all the Bossman is DQ'ed for using his nightstick. He also uses a chain wrapped around his fist for good measure. Were I a betting man, I'd bet the Road Dogg takes this personal. - KANE/X-PAC vs. THE ACOLYTES Early in the match Shane McMahon comes to ringside. Things wind down with all four men in the ring. Faarooq has been dropped in the corner. X-Pac goes for the Bronco Ride, but Shane holds up a steel chair in front of Faarooq. X-Pac crashes into the chair. Kane exits the ring to chase Shane, as Bradshaw catches X-Pac with the Clothesline From Hell. 1 ... 2 ... 3--new World Tag Team Champions. Why is it WCW so often has titles change hands on nights they know the WWF will be showing a taped title change--often the "same" titles (World or Tag Team)? Steve Austin is getting ready in the back. - A black-and-white camera feed, labeled "GDTV", gives us a peek into the men's room. Mark Henry's in there cooking up a storm. D-Lo Brown comes in and nearly dies from the smell. I'll make the obvious assumption that this "GDTV" has something to do with Goldust. - VAL VENIS (w/ Nicole Bass) vs. KEN SHAMROCK New IC Champ Jeff Jarrett (and Debra) come out to harass Shamrock, who is rolled up from behind and pinned by Venis. Shamrock belly-to-belly suplexes Val, then takes off after Jarrett. Val gets on the mic and asks Nicole where she was, and why she didn't watch his back. Nicole apologizes, and the two go off to make up. Eeeewwwww! The Undertaker offers up some words to his "Greater Power". - MANKIND vs. TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna) This battle rages in, out and around the ring. Being a hardcore match, anything goes. Triple H fishes a sledgehammer out from under the ring, and narrowly misses taking Mankind's head off with a swing which dents the steel ring steps. Jumping ahead, Chyna interferes by hitting Mankind with a chair. Triple H then tackles Mankind, which also wipes out Chyna, slamming her into the steps. The action moves back into the ring. Mankind is in command, but he's hit from behind by Chyna. Chyna then gets into it with the ref, which distracts her long enough for Mankind to pull out Mr. Socko, and apply the Mandible Claw. Triple H then whacks Mankind in the knee with the sledgehammer, and hooks him for the pin. Helmsley continues the beating after the match, until the Rock (making his only appearance of the night) makes the save. During the break the Union comes out to help Mankind, and a live shot shows him being loaded into an ambulance. Mankind will now go off and have that knee surgery he's been needing for the last several months. - THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN A straightforward match, going back-and-forth, which sees Austin come that close to regaining the World Title. Austin hits the Stone Cold Stunner, and covers for the pin. Just as the ref is about to count 3, though, he's pulled out of the ring by Paul Bearer. Austin slides out and clobbers Bearer. Almost immediately after that the other members of the Corporate Ministry run in and attack Austin. Austin's arms are hooked in the top and middle ropes, and the Ministry members take turns pummeling him to keep him docile. The lights dim, a chant rises over the P.A. system, and a hooded figure makes its way to the ring. This, the "Greater Power", whoever it is, bends over to reveal themself to Austin. Austin calls them a "son-of-a-bitch, and tries to free himself as the show (which has run a minute or two longer than usual) fades out. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: The "Greater Power". First off, let's get some of the obvious out of the way, shall we? Whoever it was under that robe, on this particular occasion, is pretty much irrelevant, so you can all stop looking at their height, weight, how they walked, etc. The "Greater Power" could be just about anyone the WWF wants it to be, perhaps even someone not currently under WWF contract. The person under the robe tonight may not be the one the WWF ultimately reveals. With that out of the way, I might as well throw out a few guesses of my own as to who it may be. As much as it pains me to say, the frontrunner looks to be none other than Vince McMahon. Having established him recently as a babyface, it would be a huge shock if it turns out this whole thing was a massive plot by McMahon to screw over Steve Austin. It would also suck the big one. Months of storyline and character development would go out the window, as the WWF goes for a "shock-for-shock's-sake" plot twist. The fans have been very much in tune with the story that has developed, and I think rolling it back to where it was a few months ago would hurt the WWF. If it's not McMahon, and I hope it isn't, then one of the other McMahon family members seems to be the next logical choice. Shane would fit, though that would be a huge letdown since he's already the mouthpiece of the Corporate Ministry. It would be like saying "okay, he's not only the Undertaker's boss, but he's also the REAL boss." Stephanie would be an ideal choice, though her being the "Greater Power", while an interesting plot twist, would be pretty much irrelevant in the broader scheme of things. The WWF has already established that Shane and Stephanie combined only own 50% of the WWF. Linda McMahon would be a more logical choice in storyline terms, as that would cause Vince to be bumped out of the power structure. Unfortunately none of these would represent any kind of storyline development that would have much meaning in regards to what we see in the ring. Steve Austin can't wrestle Stephanie or Linda McMahon, and Shane being the "Greater Power" doesn't significantly change things from the way they already are. Assuming it's someone outside the McMahon family, that gives us a few interesting candidates. Shawn Michaels is probably the top choice in this category, but unfortunately he is in the same position as the McMahon family members. It'd be an interesting plot twist, but would mean little in the long run. That just leaves men who aren't part of the current WWF scene. Shane Douglas, Terry Funk, Sycho Sid, Chris Jericho, the Ultimate warrior, these are all interesting choices. None of them are currently in the WWF, though things could be dragged out long enough so that any of them could be brought in. None of them, though, represent anything other than a "shock-for-shock's-sake" surprise. Ted DiBiase would be an interesting selection, since he used to be Steve Austin's manager, and has past issues with the Undertaker. Unfortunately DiBiase is presently hooked up with WCW, and his personal religious beliefs would seem to preclude a return to the WWF in its current state. Kevin Sullivan's name has been tossed around, but last I heard of him he was taking a leave of absence from WCW's booking team due to health problems. I'm not sure if he's physically up to it. As I see it, that leaves two really strong candidates. The first would be Jake "the Snake" Roberts. Roberts was instrumental in the creation of the whole "Austin 3:16" phenomenon. Roberts also has a past with the Undertaker. Jake reportedly left the WWF under not-so-good terms, but that was a long time ago. I couldn't see Roberts passing up such a huge angle if it was offered to him. It would be a huge surprise to see him again, and it would give Austin a new opponent to feud against in the ring. It would be perfect. Too perfect. The other choice, and the one I'm personally leaning towards, is Brother Love. Love, AKA Bruce Pritchard, is already employed by the WWF. He was also the Undertaker's first manager. The downside with this choice, though, is similar to that of Shawn Michaels and the McMahon family members. It would be an interesting twist, but wouldn't really amount to much. My gut feeling, though, is that if it isn't one of the McMahon's, it's going to be Brother Love. I can't believe I've devoted so much space to this. It just goes to show that when the WWF does something right, they get the fans talking about it. I just hope whoever the "Greater Power" turns out to be lives up to all this anticipation. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: That's enough for this week. Peace, I'm outta here! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 185 of the "Monday Night Recap", May 31st, 1999.