Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #175 March 22nd, 1999 The Opening Word: Couple of big numbers this week. Not only is this the 175th edition of the Recap, but the counter on the website finally inched over the half-million mark. Exciting stuff ... then it sinks in how long I've been doing this (almost three-and-a-half years) without being paid. Long hours, squinting at a computer monitor, sore back, sore ass, lost free time lost ... I MUST BE NUTS! WHY DO I DO THIS?! Anyway, starting next week there will be some changes. Check the website to see what they are. ECW held their Living Dangerously PPV on Sunday. ... Moving on, I checked out the "Beachbrawl" thing WCW did on MTV. God, did that suck. Exposure-wise I'm sure it will pay off, and it was certainly a decent idea, but man, the way it came off was just terrible. It was hosted by some scrawny beanpole of a singer named Kid Rock, who treated the whole thing as if it was barely worth his time. Jimmy Hart and Raven were there to represent WCW. Hart, as always, came off as tragically pathetic in his efforts to be "hip". Raven too adopted a more hip persona, but it didn't quite click. Like most in the wrestling business his attempted pop culture references were out of date, and Kid Rock wasn't all that cooperative in playing along with any of his jokes. The actual "wrestling" on the show was a six man battle royal, featuring Chris Jericho, Saturn, Hugh Morrus, Rey Mysterio, Kidman and ... someone else--I forget. As the "match" was taking place a band I'd never heard of played generic heavy metal music on a stage next to the ring. Equal time was devoted to showing the band and the wrestlers. The ring action was fast, being almost nothing but high risk maneuvers and finishing moves. This wasn't a match so much as an exhibition of everyone's best moves. Someone would fall down and someone else would do a moonsault on them, then that person would be picked up and powerbombed ... stuff like that. Jericho won, and was awarded an ugly trophy, then he was attacked by Saturn, who threw the trophy into the water (the match took place on the beach). Being only a 30 minutes show there wasn't much time to do anything with this, so WCW just packed in a few bodies and had them do a lot of flashy moves in rapid succession. We're at a point now where WCW draws far better ratings than the average MTV show, and it would have been nice to see them try to do something special here. Unfortunately they still seem to have the mindset that they are smaller than MTV, and thus just being there will give them some extra exposure. They could have used this as a vehicle for an "event", featuring an actual match between the likes of Goldberg, Bret Hart, "Hollywood" Hogan, Kevin Nash or Ric Flair. Instead this was a throwaway show which everyone would forget five minutes after they saw it. I'm sure MTV saw some nice ratings for the three or four times they aired it over the weekend, but just imagine how big they'd have been, though, if WCW had provided a real marquee match, and both gave it a lot of hype. The only real obstacle was the fact that all this spring break stuff on MTV was taped a few weeks ago, so they could heavily edit it all for broadcast. Even so, WCW still could have come up with something big which, in hyping it on their own show, would only be able to say "you'll have to check out MTV to see how it all happened!" Hogan and Eric Bischoff taking over "The Tonight Show" is a good example of making the most out of a situation like this. I suspect that the WWF, if given a similar opportunity, would come up with something bit more memorable. Fans still talk about the specials the WWF did on MTV back in the 80's. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Panama City, Florida. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - A montage of Ric Flair clips open the show. - Nitro makes its return to Club La Vela for their third annual "Spring Break-out" show. The ring, like the last two years, is set on a floating island in the middle of a swimming pool next to a beachside bar. Immediately the countdown begins to see who will get tossed into the pool. - Clip of Chastity turning on Raven at the PPV. The announcers don't get a chance to set this up before it plays, and they quickly move on to other things afterward, making one ask why it was played at all. I had to laugh this past Saturday when the syndicated WCW Worldwide show featured a Raven match, and Chastity came out with him. Nice continuity there. - BULL PAYNE vs. VAN HAMMER Huge "boring!" chant from the crowd less than 30 seconds in. Hammer wins with the Flashback, in a match that lasted about a hundred times longer than it should have. - Recap of last week's Kidman/Mysterio match. Riki Goawaynoonelikesyou gets some comments from Mysterio. Rey says Kidman may have had an off night, and offers him a rematch at the upcoming Spring Stampede PPV. - Miss Nitro contest. This looked something like this: boobs ... Cinn-A-Burst ... boobs ... Cinn-A-Burst ... Cinn-A-Burst ... boobs ... Cinn-A-Burst ... Cinn-A-Burst ... Cinn-A-Burst. - Now there's a band singing a song about heads getting kicked in, intercut with lots of shots of boobs, buffed guys, fake WCW tattoos, and Cinn-A-Burst and 1-800-COLLECT signs. Someone PLEASE tell WCW that chewing gum and long distance phone calls aren't remotely cool. - Riki Hahadonthavetoseeyouagainafterthisweek has cornered Disco Inferno, and tells him he's getting really sick of seeing his video. Disco corrects him, saying it's Konnan's video that he's sick of, and that his version of it is groovy. Or something. Jesus, shoot me now! They play the Disco-altered Konnan video again. - Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell video package. - Fit Finlay is at a house somewhere checking up on Rick Steiner. Is it Hour Three yet, and am I supposed to notice that can of SURGE!!!!!! Rick is drinking there? - Clips from last week. Why even watch Hours Two and Three any more, when they'll just highlight them to death on Thunder and Hour One of Nitro next week? The only purpose of this stuff is to catch up to speed those viewers who switch over to RAW every week. - Riki Jesushchristpalgetoffmytvscreen narrates a clip of Goldberg at a NASCAR event. Why is he narrating this? So he can be interrupted by Hak, who comes out with Chastity. Hak says we should all call him "Hardcore Hak, the King of Extreme" from now on, and challenges Goldberg to a match tonight. Hak hits himself in the head with his Singapore cane, drawing a little blood. The camera cuts away faster than Mike Tenay running to the hotel bar after the show. - Goldberg video. I sure can't wait for this week's show to START. - Sting makes his return on QVC Tuesday night. (Since I'm writing this after that took place, I'll mention that Sting revealed that he will be returning to Nitro next Monday. Eric Bischoff then phoned in and hassled him. More on this later.) - EL DANDY/SILVER KING/PSYCHOSIS/? vs. DAMIEN/LIZMARK/LA PARKA/SUPER CALO The mystery Mexican is "La Cucaracha", AKA Disco Inferno. Busy match, with little wrestling to speak of and lots of high spots and botched moves (due to the configuration of the ring). The finish comes when "La Cucaracha" starts laying out guys with the Chartbuster (including one of his own teammates) and covers for the pin. Despite looking like Disco Inferno, and using Disco Inferno's finishing move, and speaking to the camera and sounding just like Disco Inferno, the announcers can't figure out who he is. - Mr. Nitro contest. This looked something like this: pecs ... 1-800-COLLECT ... pecs ... 1-800-COLLECT ... 1-800-COLLECT ... pecs ... 1-800-COLLECT ... 1-800-COLLECT ... 1-800-COLLECT. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - Opening credits, meaning the show is indeed just starting. - In a taped segment Ric Flair tells J.J. Dillon that he's in the mood to wrestle someone tonight. He declares that they will put everyone's name in a drum, and draw out a random opponent. And just between himself, J.J., and the millions of fans watching at home, they'll pack the drawing with Cruiserweights and midcarders. Why don't they just flash an "*EVIL*" caption underneath his picture? Mike Tenay gets a few words from Dusty Rhodes, who is now a "consultant" to WCW. Dusty reminds us of the time he was the special referee in a Dean Malenko/Barry Windham match and turned on Eric Bischoff and the NWO. He takes credit for Flair's turnaround, since that was the match that allowed Flair to come back. Dusty claims that he was promised the position of WCW Commissioner, and an announcing spot, and that Flair has since forgotten about him. Two thoughts: 1) this went way too long, and 2) is this the best way to go up against the start of RAW? Despite all his reservations about Flair, he's happy that "tradition" has returned to WCW. Still, he's wondering if Flair is "cross" with him, and says he's still the "bullalawoo" ("bull of the woods?") Some comments made by Rhodes about Larry Zbyszko don't sit well with the Living Legend. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund is in the ring when Ric Flair comes out to "whoo!" the crowd. He's interrupted by Raven, however, who wants a World Title shot. Flair pulls a swerve on him and says he can have a shot--with Kanyon--against Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit for the World Tag Team Titles. Raven says Kanyon is off making that Jesse Ventura movie, and that Flair knows this. Flair tells him that for interrupting him, he'll have to fight the two on his own. After Raven leaves Flair picks up where he left off, and makes his "name pulled from a hat" announcement. The crowd chants for Goldberg. - FIT FINLAY vs. RICK STEINER A real "old school" match here, typified by punches, stalling and rest holds. Steiner wins with the Bulldog off the top. You know, he's going to hurt somebody with that move some day. (Wait a minute ... ) - Nitro Girls. - EL VAMPIRO vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA Vampiro makes his return to Nitro nine months after his debut. Is it just me, or does Vampiro wrestle EXACTLY like Chris Benoit? Ragged match, with the early part being worked stiffly (lots of chops and punches), then the last few minutes seeing a lot of high risk moves. Juvi wins with the Juvi Driver--this after kicking out following a Vampiro delivered gutwrench suplex off the top. Vampiro seemed to be "way ahead on points" as it were, and I'm still trying to figure out how Juvi got the win here. It's like the moves done didn't add up to the finish. I myself tried to be interested, but the live crowd gave up early on. - Riki Justyouwaitbuddyuntiliseeyoualoneintheparkinglot brings out this year's Miss Nitro--mere seconds after Schiavone says we're going to see the "Miss Nitro contest finals". For some reason a pretty, yet rather average girl has been chosen the winner. The reason why becomes obvious moments later as "Hollywood" Hogan and Kevin Nash lead a line of tall, busty, stunning, bikini-clad girls to the ring. Nash says that now that we've seen Miss Nitro, it's time for the NWO Miss Spring Break contest. This makes this, of course, THE GREATEST NITRO EVER! Nash notices they're one girl short. The crowd chants "show your tits!" Nash says he would, but it's too cold. Out comes Samantha (Torrie Wilson) and David Flair. Samantha removes her dress, showing off her buffed bod, and takes her place in the line. Riki doesn't want anything to so with this, but a threatened Jackknife from Nash makes him cooperate. At Nash's urging he picks Samantha as the winner. (Not my pick, actually, as there were one or two others who were really, really fine.) Nash says "eat your heart out Sable!" and he and Hogan have a good laugh. That was some nice sleaze, and clearly the highlight of the show thus far. - GOLDBERG vs. HAK (w/ Chastity) Hak punches Goldberg and Goldberg sells it. Hak hits him with a cane and Goldberg doesn't sell it. Go figure. Goldberg with the easy Jackhammer win. The crowd was into this one more than any other on the show. That's now two embarrassing challenge-defeats for Hak in WCW. - "Mean" Gene interviews Bret Hart. Hart says he's upset with the way WCW has treated him. He complains about not getting any World Title shots. He claims Hogan has been ducking him. He says, about Kevin Nash, that he could beat him now like all those times he beat him before. He claims he could beat Goldberg in under five minutes. Should I consider this whining to be any different than all the whining he did last year? Why is it every time Hart's career sputters his solution is to blubber like a little girl? With Nitro being in Toronto next week, look for Goldberg to accept Hart's challenge. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Nitro Girls. They do this number dressed as various WCW wrestlers (and Sonny Onoo). Seeing as how they didn't get undressed this was a major waste of time. - HORACE vs. VINCENT I wonder what's on A&E right now? Or Lifetime? Maybe there's something good on C-SPAN? This is the latest match for the control of the NWO Black & White. Stevie Ray comes out and pushes Horace and Vincent gets the pin and Stevie stomps on Vincent and Brian Adams comes out and beats on Horace and he and Stevie yell at each other and my head hurts. - J.J. Dillon draws a numbered ball from a barrel as Flair and "Mean" Gene look on. The pool has been surrounded by scrubs and midcarders. Dillon draws #23. They cut to the back, showing El Dandy with that number. Dandy has his shoulder wrapped up, though. (Why, didn't he just wrestle earlier tonight? He looked okay too me.) Dandy hands the number off to Rey Mysterio, who comes out to claim the match. Flair throws a fit, saying Rey wasn't supposed to be in this. - Horsemen video. - RAVEN vs. DEAN MALENKO/CHRIS BENOIT The Horsemen quickly destroy Raven, due to their one man advantage. They don't pin him, though. Saturn then comes out and starts fighting on Raven's behalf. The ref lets it go and suddenly the Horsemen are getting their asses kicked. Saturn has Benoit locked into the Rings of Saturn for what seems to be a sure win, but the match is thrown out because both Malenko and Raven come into the ring carrying the Tag Title belts. Actually the bells sounds and Raven's music is played, and the crowd pops, thinking the titles have changed hands. Heenan starts touting new Tag Team Champions. Then the real decision becomes apparent. Weak finish given the latitude the ref had already shown in letting Saturn join the match. - Replay of the bikini contest earlier. Schiavone jokes about Riki looking for his contact lens between Nash's leg, and Tenay says Samantha was the "unanimous choice". I realize this was supposed to help Hogan and Nash come off as the babyfaces they're currently playing, but so help me it played more like Schiavone and Tenay turning heel! - They play Flair's announcement from Thunder regarding Scott Hall being stripped of the U.S. Title, then show a bit of the Meng/Bam Bam Bigelow match (which Meng won). - SCOTT STEINER vs. CHRIS JERICHO Steiner with the Recliner. I wonder what Jericho's WWF nickname will be? - RIC FLAIR (w/ Arn Anderson) vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR. Michael Buffer gets the names right. (No, I'm never going to forget about that.) My brother tells me that I'm imagining things in comparing this "David and Goliath" matchup to the one taking place on RAW. Some solid back-and-forth wrestling to start, with Flair really selling for the little guy. Arn gets a little involved, really pushing the whole heel turn/underdog thing. Flair gets the upper hand and settles in for a long stretch in control. Rey battles back, though, and manages to take Flair off the top turnbuckle with a huracanrana. Rey covers and one ... two ... thr--Arn pulls referee Charles Robinson from the ring. Rey and the fans think he's won the World Title. Arn tells the ref to raise Flair's arm, so he does. Schiavone starts to think that maybe something isn't on the up-and-up, while Rey knocks Flair into the pool. - This Thursday: Stevie Ray vs. Brian Adams? - Next week: Nitro goes to Toronto, Canada. Comments: Watching just bits and pieces on Monday I thought this was an okay show. That opinion changed once I actually sat through the whole thing all the way through. Thank god for the fast-forward button. The first hour, which I didn't really bother to watch live, was only marginally better than the one where there were no matches at all. The other two hours weren't much better. It's like they blew things off this week, figuring the spring break atmosphere would make up for the really weak card. I'm a guy--I liked the bikini-clad girls, but I didn't appreciate the clips where "Cinn-A-Burst" and "1-800-COLLECT" logos were jammed into my face every two seconds. Looks like they've finally got the ball rolling in the Flair heel turn. The funny thing is I can't see it amounting to much of anything, unless the end result is him losing the belt to Goldberg. Anything else will be pointless. Even as Champion and President of WCW, Flair just isn't as menacing as Hogan and the NWO were. As for Hogan's face turn, I think he's drawing some "cool guy" heat, but I'm not sure the fans are going to buy it all the way. WCW needs a bona fide top level bad guy right now--something they don't have. Scott Steiner is probably the only one who comes close. Eric Bischoff, if he returned to TV, would fill the bill, but god knows I don't want to see that. Notice how all the running storylines seem to have been dropped? The biggest feud going on right now is the one between the NWO B-Team'ers. Everything else has been dropped, or turned down to a low simmer. The issue between Flair and Goldberg, Flair and Hogan, and Steiner and Bagwell are examples. Things seem to have been dropped between Saturn and Jericho. Konan, Luger, Ernest Miller, Jerry Flynn, Kidman, Curt Hennig, Barry Windham--none of these guys were anywhere to be seen this week. Goldberg had nothing better to do than beat up Hak. Has WCW said anything about Scott Hall's absence yet? (Other than stripping him of the title.) It's as if WCW, perhaps wisely, wiped the board and returned to square one. It may pay off in the long run, but right now all it does is add to the impression that WCW has zero direction. In fact, I'd say right now they're adrift in the North Atlantic, ignoring the ice warnings. The next few weeks should tell whether they've cut the engines, or are still putting up a watch without binoculars. Sting is supposed to make his return next week. I honestly have no idea what they'll do with him, though it seems as if he may just return as himself without any gimmick at all. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Albany, New York. WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, making his way into the arena, comes across a Coors Light beer truck. The driver asks him for an autograph. Austin instead offers to come back out in a bit and hook the guy up with a seat inside. - The Rock, Vince McMahon and his son Shane make their way to the ring. No metal ramp and walkway this week. McMahon says he's proud to be in the company of two WWF Champions who will be holding onto their titles for some time to come. Shane takes the mic and challenges X-Pac to a "Greenwich Street Fight" later tonight. Vince takes over again and says he believes that Steve Austin and the Undertaker have been conspiring to divide his attention. Then it's the Rock's turn, and he calls him "Texas trailer park trash", amongst the other usual names. Austin is shown watching on a monitor backstage. After a few more catchphrases Austin is shown leaving the building. The Rock finishes up, rounding out his catchphrase repertoire. Regarding tonight's show, McMahon says that in tonight's scheduled Steve Austin/Paul Wight match, the Rock has been named as the special referee. Mankind comes out, proposing that instead of the Rock just being the referee, maybe he and the Rock should go at it, with the winner getting to have that honor. Vince thinks Mankind has been sharing too many brews with Austin. The Rock says, after contemplation, that Mankind can kiss his ass. "I gave that up for Lent!" the demented one replies. Assuming that the two would turn him down, Mankind produces a written contract from WWF Commissioner Shawn Michaels, which provides for the very match he suggests. Vince and the Rock shrug it off, with the Rock actually looking forward to kicking Mankind's ass again. He then starts to discuss Shane's "Greenwich Street Fight" with X-Pac, when-- *KEE-RASH!* Austin drives the previously seen Coors Light truck into the ringside area! (nearly taking out the Titan-Tron in the process). Austin climbs atop the truck and asks the crowd for a "hell yeah!", then runs through the rest of his catchphrases. He promises to check into the Rock's "Smackdown Hotel", go up to "room 3:16", and "burn that son-of-a-bitch to the ground!" Seeing that McMahon and the Rock are a bit hot under the collar, he pulls out a hose from the side of the truck and sprays them, and most everyone in the immediate ringside area, with a stream of light beer. McMahon has trouble with his footing and flops around like a fish. Ross and Lawler tell us, for the first of many, many times, that tonight's RAW is the "biggest RAW in history!" Is Cole preparing for a job with WCW should Jim Ross succeed in bumping him out of the announce position? Debra's in the back fluffing up her pillows. - Kudos to the ring crew for mopping up the beer so quickly. They must have changed the canvas on the ring. - JEFF JARRETT/OWEN HART (w/ Debra) vs. THE BROOD (w/ Christian) Cole, talking about the Public Enemy and their match against Owen and Jarrett last week, reminds us that many WWF superstars don't want the P.E. here. Speaking of Jim Ross, he's off at a local fraternity house somewhere, holding a "J.R. is RAW" party (mislabeled "J.R. is WAR" on the screen). J.R.'s "boy" Steve Williams has tagged along as well. Good match for the few minutes it's actually underway. The Brood looks like they might pull out the win by cannily substituting Christian in the match for Edge. The ref, of course, has no clue. Edge comes back in when things get a bit hot for Christian. Owen then manages to lock Edge into the Sharpshooter, and has the win sewn up, when the Public Enemy run in. More anti-P.E. sentiment is evident as all five wrestlers involved in the match team up to fight them off. The lights then go out and Debra receives a bloodbath. I smell another "Triple Threat Match" a comin'. Lucas Somethingorother, who does stuff on the WWF's Internet show, tries to interview "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg. They give him the brush off and promise to win each other's titles in tonight's "Title vs. Title Match" between the two. - Shane McMahon is trying to get cleaned up for his match against X-Pac. Vince notices the idle Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco and orders them to get him a cup of coffee. - ROAD DOGG vs. "BADD ASS" BILLY GUNN Much like the last match, things are going quite nicely here until the all too abrupt finish. Goldust, Val Venis and Al Snow all run in for the attack. Gunn and the Dogg team up to fight them off, which the crowd liked. The Stooges are getting Mr. McMahon's coffee when they are terrorized by the arrival of someone off-camera. They cut to a commercial, and coming back we see it was in fact the Legion of Doom, who obviously aren't too happy about Patterson and Brisco imitating them last week. Under the command of Paul Ellering, the LOD destroy Pat and Jerry, as well as a hapless referee who happened to get too close to the action. - The Blue Meanie comes to the ring with a chair and calls out Shamrock. Ryan Shamrock, that is. Ryan comes out and the two exchange words. The Meanie then grabs her and lays her across his lap, preparing to give her a spanking. This may have earned the Meanie his biggest crowd pop ever. Ken Shamrock runs out to put a stop to things, but he's attacked by Goldust. Shamrock takes him out, but falls victim to a chairshot from the Meanie. Goldust, the Meanie and Ryan leave together, with the story here being that the Meanie is insanely jealous of the affection Goldust is heaping on Ryan. - Back to the "J.R. is WAR" party, which looks pretty dull if you ask me. They should put up some Cinn-A-Burst signs. Ross says he's not at ringside this week because Hardcore Holly trashed his announcing table. Sable is getting made up in the back. - Another look at the outside of the Cleavage home. Why do I feel as if this will never live up to the interest it's piqued in me? The Ministry of Darkness has arrived. I can understand why McMahon wouldn't fire Steve Austin or the Undertaker, but why doesn't he can Midian and Viscera's fat asses? Hell, they're always late to the damn show! McMahon wants to know where his coffee is. Wasn't he watching the show like the rest of us? - Sable plays the total bitch, but the crowd still loves her. Her Playboy issue was either the biggest seller ever, or the biggest in the last fifteen years, depending on which level of hyperbole out of Cole and Lawler's mouths you wish to choose. Fifteen years ... hmmm. Them's back in the Shannon Tweed days, I believe. - SABLE vs. IVORY (w/ D-Lo Brown) Ivory looks really stupid with that scarf of hers. Of all the current women in wrestling, she does the least for me. D-Lo sits in for commentary and throws a shout-out to "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry, who will be back soon. As the match is going on, Terri Runnels and Jacqueline come out. Terri is wearing a fishnet shirt that must be see-through, because they won't let us get a good, close-up look at it. Terri gets in D-Lo's face. He tells her what she can go do with herself, so she slaps him. The match, meanwhile, notches up from "nothing" to "nothing-plus-one" when Ivory goes for a few near-pins. Jacqueline then trips her up and Sable drops the Bomb for the win. Torrie then runs out and attacks Sable. All these women and me without ringside tickets. The Rock. Mankind. Walking. Split-screen. Don't change the channel. - Steve Austin. Boots. Lacing them up. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. - MANKIND vs. THE ROCK Michael Cole is really getting on my nerves declaring everything to be the greatest whatever ever. Referee Tim White pulls an Earl Hebner and allows a lot of action down on the floor. Good match, with Mankind getting the upper hand and preparing to apply Mr. Socko and the Mandible Claw, only to fall victim to a chokeslam from Paul Wight, who had come out onto the apron. The ref, who had been bumped moments earlier, sees the chokeslam and calls for the DQ (a bit weak of a finish given the latitude the ref had allowed earlier). Wight is pissed, the Rock is livid, and Mankind goes on to be the referee in tonight's big main event. - Another look at Austin backstage. - KANE vs. GOLDUST Kane is the first one out, then Goldust. As he's removing his robe he suddenly produces a large tube, and launches a fireball in Kane's face! Removing the robe we see it's really Triple H, not Goldust. (Re-watching his entrance, Triple H is a dead ringer for Goldust with the makeup, wig and robe on. There's only one brief moment when he turns, and you see his huge nose, that you can tell it's Triple H.) Kane flops around as Triple H lays in the boots. Referees come out to break it up. - Replay of Kane getting toasted. - At the frat house party, Jim Ross asks who people think will win tonight's Austin/Wight match. Hardcore Holly then shows up, saying he's going to ruin J.R.'s party like J.R. ruined his match last week. "Dr. Death" throws a drink and the two begin brawling. A glass fishtank is taken out. Doors are broken through. The camera cuts out a few times, and sharp-eyed viewers will notice that this was done to cover up edits in what is apparently taped video footage. In the kitchen Williams nails Holly with a bag of frozen vegetables taken from a freezer. Lawler sagely points out that there's never anything in a frat house refrigerator. The fridge and stove are wiped out, as well as the cameraman, and the signal goes out for good. Mankind extends his hand (for a bribe), saying he'll call the match right down the middle *wink-wink*. Austin just tells him to do his job. Shane is heading out for his street fight against X-Pac. - The TV Guides with the Rock, Austin, Sable and Mankind on the covers are out now. I actually picked up one with the Rock. I wanted an Austin, but all the store had was one with the Rock, and about fifty with Sable. - X-PAC vs. SHANE MCMAHON No match. X-Pac comes out, levels Shane with a kick, then is jumped by Shane's Greenwich posse, who pull up in a pair of Ferrari's. Rodney, Pete Gas and Willie Green pin X-Pac against a wall, while Shane lays in a low blow. The spoiled rich kids make their escape in their sports cars. Funny stuff. - THE CORPORATION vs. THE MINISTRY OF DARKNESS Shamrock, Test and the Big Bossman square off against the Undertaker and the Acolytes. No match to speak of, as they all spill to the floor, then into the crowd. The lights go out and they cut away to a commercial. Whuh the fu--? I'm enjoying the show and all, but this last half hour has really been all about hyping WrestleMania more than anything else. - McMahon comes out and tells the crowd that Austin has No Chance in Hell of winning the WWF Championship again. The Rock comes out to deliver color commentary. Mankind is the referee - "THE BIG SHOW" PAUL WIGHT vs. "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN Austin fires off a series of punches. Wight whips Austin into the corner. He jams his boot into Austin's neck. Austin delivers a low kick to escape. He drops to the floor and grabs Wight's legs, intending to crotch him on the post. Wight lashes out and Austin goes flying over the barrier, into the crowd. Wight grabs Austin an puts him in a big choke (holding Austin in the air by the neck), which Mankind breaks up by delivering a shot off the apron! Wight returns to the ring and backs Mankind into the corner. Austin, meanwhile, comes in and removes a turnbuckle pad. He grabs Wight and tries to slam him against the exposed buckle, but Wight blocks it. Austin lays in a kick and tries the Stone Cold Stunner, but Wight shoves him headfirst into the turnbuckle. Wight drops an elbow. Cover for two. Wight questions the count and he and Mankind get into it. Austin comes over and tries another Stunner, but Wight hoists him up and drops him to the mat. Whip into the ropes, followed by a big boot. Austin rolls to the floor. Coming back in he's met with a headbutt. Wight works over Austin in the aisle as Mankind lays in the ten count. Wight picks Austin up and drops him on the concrete. Wight picks Austin up and tries to bash him shoulderfirst into the post, but Austin wiggles free and sends Wight into the post. Wight no-sells it. Wight then whips Austin into the post. Mankind grabs a chair, and threatens to use it on Wight if he doesn't take it back into the ring. Into the ring they go and Wight signals for the chokeslam, then drops an elbow, but misses. Austin comes back with lefts and rights. Reverse to the ropes and Austin is up in a bearhug. Mankind checks Austin, and his arm nearly drops a third time before Austin fights back, laying in punches to escape the hold. In the ropes he goes and, after ducking two clotheslines, he lands the Lou Thesz Press. Two count, then Austin is launched by Wight's kick-out. Austin then grabs the chair Mankind had, which had been left on the apron, and delivers a shot to the knee. Another, then one to the head, and a second. The Rock hops onto the apron and Austin chases him off with the chair. Coming back to the groggy Wight he lays in a kick, then levels him with the Stone Cold Stunner. 1 ... 2 ... 3--Austin wins! Wight follows Mankind out onto the floor and those two begin to fight. The Rock, meanwhile, goes after Austin, and lays him out with a Rock Bottom. The show ends with the Rock standing tall on the corner turnbuckles. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Is Austin going to lose at WrestleMania?! All last week I assumed Wight would win this match, making it seem Austin has No Chance in Hell to win at WrestleMania. Of course he'd then win. Now I'm not so sure. All I can figure is if Austin does win, then we're probably looking at Wight getting his revenge by beating Austin for the title somewhere not too far down the road. This was a classic example of taking two main event matches and flip-flopping the competitors. Both babyfaces won here, which would seem to suggest that the heels will come out on top at the PPV. That would set up a scenario in which Wight beats Mankind, then, as the referee in the main event, causes Austin to lose. Wight and Austin would then feud. I still expect Austin to come out on top this Sunday, but there's plenty of room left for doubt. Here's how WrestleMania has shaped up: * Steve Austin vs. the Rock. WWF Championship Match. * Mankind vs. Paul Wight. Winner referees the main event. * The Undertaker vs. the Big Bossman. Hell in a Cell Match. * Road Dogg vs. Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Goldust. Four Corner Elimination Intercontinental Title Match. * Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow vs. Bob Holly. Hardcore Title Triple Threat Match. * Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac. European Title Match. * Owen Hart & Jeff Jarrett vs. ???. World Tag Team Title Match. * Sable vs. Torrie. Women's Title Match. * Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean. Brawl For All bout. * Kane vs. Triple H. A tag team battle royal will take place on the live Heat before the PPV. The last two men left in the match, whoever they may be, will face Owen & Jarrett on the PPV. Public Enemy, the Brood and Legion of Doom all seem to be in position to get the shot. As I just mentioned, Heat will again be live leading into the PPV. The WWF will also be live on the Home Shopping Network after the PPV. These things are usually interesting, as they get interviews from a few wrestlers, and some light could be shed on what will be coming up on the next RAW (which, of course, will be live again next week). The night before WrestleMania the WWF will be doing a "WrestleMania Rage Party", part of which will be aired on the USA Network at 10:00 PM Eastern. There will be no matches, just live music from a number of bands. Isaac Hayes ("Chef" from "South Park"), Cherry Popping Dadies, Mya and the Big Punisher will all be performing. The party is supposed to last something like four hours, though only an hour of it will be shown on USA. Back to WrestleMania, Boys II Men are scheduled to sing the national anthem. This is probably the biggest musical group the WWF has ever booked, next to the Aretha Franklin. (Some might also make a case for Gladys Knight, Reba McEntire and Run DMC.) Other celebrities will be in evidence for the Bart Gunn/Butterbean fight (which was the only one they didn't hype on RAW this week). Boxer Vinnie Pacienza will be the guest referee, and other notable boxing personalities will serve as the judges. Overall a huge show, and hopefully one that will be worth the extra $5 it costs this year ($34.95). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Sorry this was so late this week gang. I've been feeling kind of loogy since Sunday. An achey-stomachey-cramp kinda thing. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 175 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 23rd, 1999.