Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #171 February 22nd, 1999 The Opening Word: The Big Buzz going into the weekend was Goldberg's challenge to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin on "The Tonight Show". Goldberg said he'd put up $100,000 and face Austin any time, any place. He, WCW, and the fans then sat back and waited for Austin's response. WCW fueled the flames by mentioning the challenge on Saturday Night and the PPV (though they never actually came right out and said who it was Goldberg had challenged). The answer came from Austin Monday morning on the Howard Stern radio show. Austin shrugged the challenge off for the empty ploy that it was. And that's that. WCW will claim that Austin was chicken. The WWF will claim that WCW was desperate to make the challenge in the first place. The fans will side with the promotion and wrestler of their choice. Pro Wrestling Illustrated will probably do an "Austin vs. Goldberg Dream Match" issue. History (and this week's TV ratings) will ultimately prove how appropriate the challenge was. Reviews for SuperBrawl IX seem to be mixed, though still occupying the mid-range level. I haven't seen any that highly praised the PPV, nor any that outright blasted it for being bad. Most who saw it (and that DOESN'T include myself) seem to agree on a few things. First, that the first hour or so was good with some nice, solid matches. The middle portion then came and went by the numbers, with few surprises. The top few matches appear to have been a success or failure depending on how much you like the wrestlers involved. If you like Scott Hall, Scott Steiner or Goldberg, you probably liked how their matches turned out. If not ... Reviews are generally favorable for the main event, though the finish seems to be meeting with universal, unanimous dislike. I have yet to come across anyone who liked seeing David Flair turn on his father Ric and join the NWO. It made no sense, and seemed an all-to-common example of WCW doing a surprise for surprise's sake. (It didn't help that Internet fans have known about the finish for more than a week prior to the PPV.) Fans were ready to not like this finish, and WCW was glad to accommodate. So David, corrupted by an attractive blonde and (one must assume) promises of riches from "Hollywood" Hogan, turns his back on his father, his family, his friends, and the world in general. Does this make sense? It can, if David (and WCW) are up to the task of explaining his motivations. Major problem #1: WCW has shown little ability to explain the simplest of angles. Wrestlers will do something for days or weeks, and WCW will either fail to explain it, or outright leave the fans in the dark. Remember when Eddie Guerrero had that Mexican bodyguard for a few months and WCW never told us what his name was? That's just one of many examples where WCW seemingly can't be bothered to give us the smallest, simplest details. Can we rely on them to outlining the larger picture for us? Major problem #2: David Flair. We've already seen that he can neither 1) act, nor 2) wrestle. The success of this angle relies upon him being able to make us believe his state of mind and emotions. This will be tough for a kid who, all indications are, looks unconvincing standing still and breathing. If David's actions aren't believable then this becomes just "another" wrestling angle. Major problem #3: What's the payoff here? Is Flair going to wrestle his son? How are they going to convince us that a man would be willing to wrestle his own son? Beyond that, how can we, the fans, have any interest in a match between an untrained teenager and his father, the thirteen time Heavyweight Champion of the World? The drama in any such match would be in the conflicting emotions both should be feeling. Flair should be able to hold up his end on that account, but David? This has all the earmarks of being an already unbelievable situation which will become more absurd with the passing weeks. This of course assumes Flair would wrestle his son as the payoff of this angle. The far more likely finale will be another match between Flair and Hogan. Will Hogan do the right thing and let Flair get his revenge? Or will we see a repeat of this past PPV, with Hogan coming up with yet another way of screwing over Flair? I've been saying for two years now that the NWO has committed so many evil deeds that there is no way for WCW to right the scales of justice. Goldberg beating Hogan for the title last year was the closest they'd ever come. Flair beating Hogan this past Sunday would have been another positive, significant step. Will a future Flair win make up it all, much less his son turning on him? Will Flair even get that chance? It seems to me that the obvious conclusion to this storyline should be Flair showing his son what filth Hogan and his crew really are. Then during the final, epic battle between Flair and Hogan we see David turn on Hogan and rejoin his father. (Basically the final act from "Return of the Jedi", but with a slight twist.) Can WCW do this story, and such a match as suggested, with the passion and fire it deserves? I doubt it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Sacramento, California. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - PPV stills open the show. Tony Schiavone will mediate an interview between Ric and David Flair at the end of tonight's show. Cut to some guy I never heard of, live somewhere at a Nitro Party. WCW will be doing another spring break special this year, and we'll get to see segments like this every week leading up to then. (What's their point, other than making college students look like children?) Konnan has a new music video, which we'll get to see later tonight. The Nitro Girls come out, as we're told we'll get to see a special video of them later in the show. Still from the Goldberg/Bigelow PPV match are shown. - JERRY FLYNN vs. MIKE ENOS Have you noticed how WCW doesn't really "push" guys, but instead gives them "cycles of visibility". Guys like Norman Smiley, Ernest Miller, Wrath, Glacier, they all pop up and get a number of wins for several weeks, then disappear--regardless of fan reaction. We never hear anything about injuries or "personal problems" or them being fired. They just drop off the face of the earth. Then after a few weeks (or months) they return again. It happens much too often to believe it's all just random. Anyway, it's now Jerry Flynn's turn, as he's racked up a string of two or three wins in recent weeks. The string continues tonight, as he scores the "upset" win with an armbar submission. During the match Tony Schiavone mentions Goldberg's challenge, but doesn't have the guts (or nuts) to actually say who it was that Goldberg challenged. Since we know that not all Nitro fans watch Thunder, and even less watch Saturday Night, and only a small percentage of them watched the PPV, and it's doubtful that they all just happened to tune into "The Tonight Show" last week ... well, I'd guess there's probably a good quarter of the viewers this week who have no idea what the hell Schiavone is talking about. - Torrie Wilson and David Flair are in the special interview room. David says "I had to do it," and "it's my time to shine". Again we see he has all the emotive capabilities of a wooden plank. - "Mean" Gene Okerlund gets a few comments backstage from Booker T. Booker will be facing Bret Hart later tonight. The winner is the #1 contender to Scott Hall's U.S. Title. - Back to the Nitro Party. Kind of hard to ignore the gigantic "1-800-COLLECT" sign behind our host. - Vincent explains to Scott Norton that "Hollywood" Hogan put him in charge of the NWO Black & White. - Clip from "Mortal Kombat". Seems that Wrath went and got himself a bit part on an upcoming episode. I'm sure to some this is proof that WCW is the greatest thing ever. Me, I see it as another sign of how easy it is for employees of the Time Warner-owned WCW to get on shows aired on the Time Warner-owned TNT. - Scott Steiner promo. The stipulation of Steiner winning Kimberly for 30 days if he beat DDP at the PPV is brought up. Schiavone says no one ever agreed to that. In other words, WCW screwed us fans over by advertising a stipulation which they had no intention of honoring. Am I being unfair in coming to that conclusion? - BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. VAN HAMMER How bad has Bigelow looked lately? I don't really mean his in-ring performances, per se, but how he's been booked. Last night he loses to Goldberg. Tonight it takes him nearly TEN FREAKIN' MINUTES to beat Hammer. Didn't the Disciple once beat Hammer in like 30 seconds? It should have taken Bigelow longer to walk to the ring than it took him to win this one. Don't ever let WCW try to tell you this guy is a "monster" any more. - Since we can't get enough of Scott Steiner (or his "constant companion" Buff Bagwell), we see them driving around in a big spring break bus. They hit a health club, where they meet a (not too) hot blonde. She sets up a rendezvous for later that night. Later they meet her at a night spot, which turns out to be a gay/cross dresser bar. I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP! I SWEAR TO GOD THIS IS WHAT THEY SHOWED!!! Upon making a hasty exit, they learn that their date has stolen their Hummer, leaving a note saying she'll meet them in Raleigh, South Carolina next week. This IMMEDIATELY cuts to Goldberg at a photo session. Steiner walks in and warns Goldberg "get ready, you're next!" This was just so damn goofy I'm ... I'm ... I'm at a loss for words. - Piper/Hall PPV stills. - BRET "HITMAN" HART vs. BOOKER T. I should really be into this match, as Hart is still the best thing going in WCW today, but the bad show up to this point had really killed me. Midway through they cut AWAY from the match to the satellite truck, where Disco Inferno is telling some tech guy that he needs the transponder coordinates so that the NWO can pirate the signal at 10:50 PM (Eastern). The tech says that would be an FCC violation. Disco promises him large amounts of cash if he helps out. This happened just as RAW was starting, so I switched away and stayed away for most of the rest of the show. It's a day later and I'm watching the tape and .. this match is good, really good, but it's hard to get into it so long after the fact (especially since I know who wins). Booker T. scores the pin off an unsuccessful Sunset Flip attempt by Hart. It's hard to believe that a match like this and the rest of what we saw in the first hour are being produced by the same people. I'll give the credit to the athletes this time. Booker now gets a shot at Scott Hall's title, while Hart continues to stew in the soupy hell that is booker Kevin Nash's regime. Schiavone is in the back preparing for the Flair interview. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - More PPV stills. - DISCO INFERNO vs. KAZ HAYASHI Disco tries to sing the national anthem before the match. Kaz comes out wearing the Glacier armor Sonny Onoo bought. Disco wins with the Chartbuster. Now Brian Adams is explaining to Scott Norton how Hogan put him in charge of the NWO. - Nitro Girls. Nitro Party. - Bobby Heenan joins the announcing crew, displaying his "Best Announcer" award, as chosen by the readers of WCW Magazine. - Scott Steiner comes out, followed by Bagwell and some broad, and delivers one of the most vile, filthiest interviews I've ever heard on TV. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. (Example: "He wanted to defend the honor of his wife. Now I get the honor of getting on her, and off her, for 30 nights!") Steiner talks about putting DDP on the shelf, how he's going to have lots of sex with Kimberly, and how he's going to kick Goldberg's ass. (This is the cleaned-up version.) He challenges Goldberg to a match tonight, promising to put him in the hospital next to Page. - PPV stills. - CHRIS JERICHO (w/ Ralphus) vs. HUGH MORRUS (w/ Jimmy Hart) Jericho comes out and insinuates that Saturn is, you know, a bit light in the loafers. Ralphus is wearing a full-blown prom gown. The match gets underway and proceeds with little inspiration. Saturn eventually comes out, tears the dress off Ralphus, knocks out Jimmy Hart, then plants Jericho with the Death Valley Driver. Morrus adds a moonsault and covers for the pin. He then gets on Saturn's case for hitting hart. Saturn, the sensitive little girl that he is, is offended and calls Morrus into the ring. The two brawl until referees come out to split them apart. Saturn, who was wearing a dress and mascara, is just shy of Goldust now on the "Openly-Queer-O-Meter". - They show footage taped at the PPV (but not shown there) of Curt Hennig and Barry Windham being attacked by Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Kevin Nash, Lex Luger and Elizabeth hit the ring. Nash is wearing Rey Mysterio's mask on top of his head. He says he watched the tape of the PPV and thinks that Scott Hall maybe cut some corners in his victory over Roddy Piper. He goes on to offer Mysterio his mask back, if only Rey will come out to get it. That leads to ... KEVIN NASH vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR. These "David and Goliath" matches can only have two possible outcomes: the giant wins, or the shrimp scores the upset. One is annoying (albeit realistic), while the other is usually good for a laugh. Having already done the one several times, this time they go for the other. Nash kills Rey, until Rey comes back by reversing a powerbomb into a series of blows to the head. Nash falls back, with Rey on top, and referee Randy Anderson does a lightning-fast three count. Nash looks stunned, the fans go wild, and for a brief moment all is right in the world as justice prevails. - New Konnan music video, which looks and sounds just like the old Konnan music video. Sample lyric: "Bow-wow-wow yippee-yo yippee yay. Arriba la rasa all day every day!" - Horace. Scott Norton. You figure it out. - "Mean" Gene interviews Windham and Hennig. Windham refuses to offer Malenko and Benoit a rematch, saying their calendar is already full. Okerlund seems to be insinuating that there is a contract already signed for the match, but he and the two wrestlers just don't seem to be operating on the same page. - Scott Norton confronts Hogan to find out what exactly is going on. Hogan tells him not to worry about it, that he is the one Hogan wants to run the NWO. - Ernest Miller (w/ Sonny Onoo) makes his way to the ring. He now has Glacier's music, falling snow, lightshow and lasers (purchased by Onoo as part of the same deal that got Kaz Hayashi the armor). Miller doesn't care for the into, though, and wants his James Brown-style intro back. Miller then launches into his usual routine of challenging anyone to come out. This goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on. Meanwhile in the back Scott Norton is about to break the news about him being in charge of the NWO when Miller (they're watching him on a monitor) starts calling out Norton. I swear over on RAW they did a commercial break, a match, and another commercial break--all in the time it took all this to take place. Norton goes out and ... SCOTT NORTON vs. ERNEST MILLER (w/ Sonny Onoo) ... wins with the powerbomb in just over a minute. Those paying attention needn't be reminded that WCW DID THIS EXACT SAME THING THREE WEEKS AGO! - Nitro Party. - SCOTT STEINER (w/ Buff Bagwell) vs. GOLDBERG Michael Buffer does the honors and manages to get everyone's names right. Goldberg takes his time coming out, so Steiner get to whip the crowd into a frenzy. Goldberg comes out, they fight, a commercial is taken. After the break Bagwell starts to remove the turnbuckle pad. The ref gets punked when he tries to stop him. Goldberg then reverse whips Steiner into the exposed bolt. Buff comes back in and meets a Spear from Goldberg. Rick Steiner then comes in, just to make things interesting! The NWO B-Team is out, but Rick Steiner and Goldberg fend them off easily. - Special Nitro Girls video, which isn't very special at all. They probably shouldn't show this on the network that has been running the "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Special" every day as of late. - It's time for the NWO to pirate the Nitro signal, but the tech guy changes his mind. Disco says he'll do it, then asks how, as they cut away to a commercial. - Schiavone is in position to conduct the Flair interview, and announces that Ric Flair is just now arriving at the arena. they cut to a shot of Flair's limo pulling up (surrounded by security guards). They then cut to Hogan and Nash watching the limo on a monitor. On cue the transmission starts to break up and the pirated feed, coming from a second control truck somewhere, starts playing an NWO video. Disco Inferno, made up to look like "Mean" Gene, starts to interview David Flair. David, whose acting is so unconvincing that if he said he was thirsty I wouldn't believe him, stares at Torrie Wilson's breasts. Kevin Nash, made up to look like Arn Anderson, delivers a slight reworking of the lines he gave during the infamous Horsemen skit the NWO did back in '97 (remember? "Not a liver spot ... "). He uses his tire iron to open a can of beer. Vincent is standing nearby in a Chicago Bear sweats, playing Steve McMichael. Scott Hall comes in dressed as Roddy Piper, saying how disgusted he is with everyone. Hogan then enters, dressed as Ric Flair. "Whooo! Mean, by god, Gene!" Hogan starts ripping off his clothes, with Disco asking how much the shirt and shoes each cost. Hogan talks about chasing girls and giving them a ride on Space Mounting. He then suffers a minor heart attack. Hall/Piper returns to express his disgust. I know this is supposed to be funny, and the participants here are funny LOOKING, but for the most part I'm having a hard time ignoring the fact that we're seeing this instead of an interview they spent nearly three hours promising. This goes on a bit more, with jokes made at the Horsemen's and Rome, Georgia's expense, until the feed fades out at precisely the time Nitro is supposed to end. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: So instead of an explanation from David we get a comedy skit. And the point is ... ? I'm a bit confused. Why did they need to "pirate" the signal to play a taped feed? Why couldn't they have just brought the tape into the control truck and forced them to play it? They've done it before. Many times. If they need to "pirate" the feed, and can't just play a tape, then how did they show us Ric Flair getting beat up last week? And again the whole question of how and why the announcers couldn't see that comes back up. Nice of Flair to not show up until the time at which it became necessary to cut into the feed so that the pretaped NWO bit would precisely fill out the remainder of the show. How thoughtful of the NWO to have this all planned out so ... perfectly. So now we have to wait until Thursday at the earliest, perhaps next Monday, but most likely never, to hear why David turned on his father. Oh, I'm not saying I'm dumb or anything. I GET why he did it. I think. The blonde, right? Or money. Or Ric never loved him. Or something. Perhaps all of these things. The point is why should I CARE that he did it? Making us CARE is what makes us tune in on Monday nights and buy their damn PPV's. Having to invent MY OWN explanations for what THEY do isn't going to make me care. All that aside, I actually thought this week's show was a notch up from other recent efforts. The Crap Factor didn't permeate everything as it has in recent weeks. Instead it stood out in a couple distinct areas. I did like the Hart match, Mysterio's win over Nash, and some of the jokes in the final NWO skit. The rest of the show though ... ehh. Whatever happened to that Raven guy? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Taped 2/16. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Chattanooga, Tennessee. WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - Clips from last week open the show. - Vince McMahon comes out for the usual interview. First on his agenda is tonight's main event, which will be an "Inferno Match" between the Undertaker and Kane. He moves on to talking about the main event at WrestleMania. Out comes Paul Wight. Wight talks about leaving the flames of Hell (WCW) and arriving at the Gates of Heaven (the WWF). The crowd chants "Giant sucks!" Wight reveals that his chokeslam is now called "The Big Nasty", which is what he put Mankind down with last week. He takes credit for putting the WWF Championship belt around the Rock's waist. Out comes the Rock. Seems he isn't down with the idea of Wight taking credit for his win. The insults fly back-and-forth between the two, which really gets the crowd buzzing. Who should then appear but Mankind. He suggests the two go at it tonight, and he offers to serve as referee (all in an effort to prove to Commissioner Michaels that he's worthy enough to be the second referee for the main event at WrestleMania). The crowd REALLY got into all this, which is such a shame knowing what was going to actually come of it. - We get a quick look at the Corporation backstage. This latest development threatens to tear them apart! - THE BROOD (w/ Christian) vs. PUBLIC ENEMY P.E.'s theme music is every bit as bad as their WCW theme music. The action gets underway, with the P.E. doing those moves that look like they're in slow motion when they're actually wrestling and not hitting people over the heads with trash cans. The match has barely started when Christian interferes, halting the proceedings with a DQ. Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge retrieve a pair of steel chairs, but the lights dim, shadowy figures move about, and we see that they have been on the receiving end of a bloodbath. This really cheeses them off and they stalk off in search of the Brood. Not quite as bad as Sandman's WCW debut, but only just. The prospect of a lengthier rematch between these two teams holds some promise, but again only just. - Filmed during the break, the Brood is shown getting their asses kicked by the Undertaker's Acolytes. Apparently the Undertaker will tolerate no failures in the Ministry of Darkness. (Doesn't really explain why Mideon and Viscera are still breathing.) - KEN SHAMROCK vs. "BADD ASS" BILLY GUNN Val Venis has joined the announcers for color commentary. There's some okay wrestling here, but frankly I've seen these guys go at it too many times, and the outcome here is just to obvious, to get all that worked up about it. Before all is said and done Venis gets into the mix, Ryan Shamrock comes out, and the whole thing is thrown out. These three need to settle this once-and-for-all at WrestleMania in a "Triple Threat Match", then move on to new programs. The Rock is intent on putting Paul Wight in his place, and not even Vince McMahon can talk him out of it. - Kevin Kelly interviews Sable. You know what happened last week, right? It happens again this week, instead this time Luna comes out to stick up for the obsessed fan (who identifies herself as "Tori". Credit the WWF for only taking four months to think up a name for her). Sable then attacks the two when they turn their backs on her. The fans still cheer for Sable because Luna was/is a heel, and the fan really has been portrayed as an obsessed stalker, so they haven't yet caught on to the fact that what Sable is doing is wrong. Next week Sable should start chewing out the fans, which should get over the fact that she's now a bad guy--err, girl. I mean woman. Whatever. He failed to settle down the Rock, so now McMahon is working on Wight. Wight says all is okay because when he beats the Rock the belt will still be in the Corporation. - D-LO BROWN vs. JEFF JARRETT/OWEN HART (w/ Debra McMichael) Much like the above Venis/Shamrock/Gunn feud, this is one that needs some resolution soon. It doesn't help matters that D-Lo's partner, Mark Henry, has a bum knee. Some nice wrasslin' here, but once again the outcome is just too blatantly obvious. Well, not quite, as PMS (Jacqueline and Terri Runnels) make their way to the ring. Debra distracts the ref, Jacqueline hits D-Lo with a drop-kick off the top, and Owen hits a spinning kick. Gee, think they can get the pin? Say, whatever happened to that Ivory chick D-Lo picked up? And why wasn't Henry out there watching his back? Must not make crutches strong enough to support his fat-ass. Mankind's in the back preparing for the big match by painting referee's stripes down his shirt. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. - Mankind hits the ring, followed by Vince McMahon. McMahon gets on the mic and says there will be no Championship match. He tells Mankind to stick Mr. Socko (who also has referee's stripes painted on), "where the sun don't shine!" No sooner is that said when the music fires up and out comes Paul Wight. - THE ROCK vs. PAUL WIGHT McMahon takes a seat at the announce desk. Everyone in the ring goes through the motions of starting the match, including a bit of shoving between Wight and the Rock, but the two quickly turn on Mankind and attack him. McMahon cackles with glee--another master plan having come to fruition. The fans boo, as well they should. McMahon gets in a few shots as the Rock and Wight hold Mankind in place. Sometimes you gotta screw over the fans to advance the storylines, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. At least this wasn't the scheduled main event. - The Corporation gathers to celebrate Mankind's stupidity. - STEVE BLACKMAN vs. DARREN DROZDOV Blackman gets the relatively quick pin, only to have Droz keep fighting and attack him with those glowing light-stick things of Blackman's. Is this really Hour Two material? Is this really RAW material? Heat seems like the place for this stuff. McMahon would really like it if Kane sets the Undertaker on fire tonight. So would Kane, I imagine. - The Undertaker comes out for a few quick comments regarding his taking over the WWF. Seems he has a surprise in store for McMahon tonight. Doesn't revealing that there will be a surprise make it no longer a surprise? Now it's just an "unknown variable", or something. And what's the deal with the Undertaker and his "Master"? Is he talking about Satan? Kevin Sullivan? Papa Shango? - GOLDUST vs. VAL VENIS I miss clean finishes, I really do. The Blue Meanie comes out about the time these two spill to the floor. Goldust is sent into the steps, then tossed back in, at which point the Meanie grabs Val and gives him a sweet looking DDT. In he goes and Goldust covers for the pin. The bit ends with Goldust puzzling over this fat weirdo's continuing fascination with him. Shane McMahon's in back with Chyna, getting ready for her match against X-Pac (did I forget to mention it?) Shane appears to be using his old man's vitamins. Or IcoPro. - BOB HOLLY vs. BART GUNN Early in the mayhem that usually passes for these Hardcore Title matches, Gunn takes a glass pitcher to the face! Into the crowd they go. Back to the ramp, where they do some actual wrestling, with a pin attempt thrown in for good measure. Things then get a bit silly as they stumble across a watermelon, some bananas and a sack of flour--thing you'll find lying around in any arena. The match then comes to an end when some Red Ninja Guy ("Dr. Death" Steve Williams, according to the grapevine) grabs Bart Gunn from behind and throws him off the stage, through a table on the floor below. Holly locates the body amidst the wreckage and covers for the pin. That was ... different. - Steve Austin appears on "Nash Bridges" this coming Friday on CBS. Check your local listings for time and channel. - CHYNA (w/ Shane McMahon) vs. X-PAC (w/ Triple H) Short story even shorter: Triple H gives Chyna a Pedigree, X-Pac covers for the pin. X-Pac will now get a European Title match against Shane at WrestleMania. Steve Austin. "Nash Bridges". I've never watched the show before. Only thing I watch on CBS is "Martial Law". Sammo Hung is THE BOMB! - Vince is out to tell us that the Undertaker is going to burn in Hell for his trying to do whatever it is that he tried to do. - THE UNDERTAKER vs. KANE This is the Undertaker's first match in months, so the crowd is pretty worked up for it. The action is fairly hot (ha!) as whenever one or the other does a high impact move (powerslam, drop-kick, etc.) the flames surrounding the ring shoot up really high. Thus the need for lots of action to keep the flames a flyin'. Paul Bearer comes out during the match to give McMahon, at the announce desk, a black box. The box is opened, revealing a teddy bear. McMahon looks like he's just been told his child died. He gets up, calls Bearer a "son-of-a-bitch", and starts to wander around the ring. Back in the ring, meanwhile, Kane flips the Undertaker over the top rope, over the flames, down to the floor! He then climbs to the top and comes off with an axehandle smash. The Undertaker sidesteps it and Kane smashes into the Spanish announcer's table! Kane is whipped into the ring barricade. The Undertaker is the reversed whipped into the steps. Kane follows with a big boot, but the Undertaker catches his foot and spins it into the flame trough. Kane's foot catches on fire, giving the Undertaker the win. McMahon is still stumbling around, looking devastated and lost. The Undertaker comes over, grabs the teddy bear away from him, and sets it afire in the flames. He tosses it up the ramp and McMahon follows, on his hands and knees. "Why?" McMahon asks over and over. That's what I ask too, but I'm content in the knowledge that all will eventually be revealed. How, you may ask, do I know that? Well, I don't, I suppose, but I do CARE. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Another in a string of good shows, but the formula is starting to wear a bit thin. This is the problem with having a big PPV card coming up and establishing all the matches so many weeks in advance. We know who's going to be wrestling there, and we have to keep seeing them every week to keep hyping their upcoming PPV matches. We still don't have the final card etched in stone, or what all the match stipulations will be. For all this stuff to be fresh we really need for WrestleMania to take place the weekend after next. Unfortunately we have something like FIVE WEEKS yet to go. I'm starting to wonder if all the matches we THINK are gonna happen at WrestleMania are really going to happen after all. I mean, just as an example, I'm not sure if I'll still be interested in Shane vs. X-Pac a month from now if we keep seeing run-in's between the two every week before then. Same with anything involving Venis, Shamrock and Gunn. Lucky for us (or me, anyway) they're keeping Steve Austin off TV. There's plenty of time to heat up the issue between he and the Rock in the coming weeks. And there is some new stuff evolving to keep an eye on. The "mystery man" attack on Bart Gunn; Sable, Tori and Luna; the evolving Undertaker/McMahon story. It's these new elements which will keep RAW interesting in the coming weeks. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: You know what I'd do if I was running WCW? First I'd have Flair beat Hogan for the title. Then I'd have Bret Hart attack Flair, setting up a match between them. Then I'd have Hart "break" Flair's leg and win the title from him. In rapid succession he'd take out Goldberg, Nash and Piper, perhaps reforming the Hart Foundation along the way. Then as Hart stands back to survey the rubble that is WCW ... enter Sting. You'd do Hart vs. Sting at Halloween Havoc, with Hart just barely holding on to the title. Sting then wins World War 3 to earn a Starrcade rematch, which is where he'd beat Hart for the title. Hell, you could probably even squeeze Randy Savage in there somewhere in some capacity. Flair would quietly retire, while Hogan would do a face turn and make one final run next year to go out on top. Maybe have him and Flair team up for one last tag team match against Hart and Kevin Nash. Nash would be the #2 heel behind Hart, while Sting and Goldberg would be your top babyfaces. You know what the problem with this strategy is, though, and the big problem facing WCW? What do they do two, three or five years from now? Who are their main eventers going to be? Will WCW bring up some new stars, or will we still be seeing Hogan, Nash, Hart, Flair, Sting, Savage, Piper, DDP, Luger, and Scott Hall rotating as the champ and top challengers? I know that I, like all fans playing fantasy booker, have some idea what I'd like to see now and in the coming months. Beyond that, though, it's hard to see what WCW has to offer. Where will the next "Goldberg" come from? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 171 of the "Monday Night Recap", February 22nd, 1999.