Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #165 January 11th, 1999 The Opening Word: WCW received two pieces of bad news last Wednesday. The first, as mentioned in last week's Recap, is that they were beaten by the WWF in the ratings again. Bringing back "Hollywood" Hogan, appearances by Ric Flair, and the massively over hyped Kevin Nash/Goldberg main event (which didn't take place) contributed to a big rating, but not one big enough to beat the taped show put on by the competition. WCW pulled out all the stops, but only saw a slight bump in their viewership (a bump which may have been attributable to the absence of Monday night NFL football). The WWF saw a similar bump in their ratings, which too may have been because of no pro football. Whatever satisfaction WCW should derive from drawing such a good rating had to have been tempered by what was their best chance for some time to come to have pulled out a win. More distressing to WCW was the news of the end of the NBA lock-out. Tentative plans were reportedly in place for WCW to put on two specials in February and March on NBC. These two shows, part of a reported four-to-six show deal for 1999, would have meant tremendous exposure for WCW. Even a relatively poor rating would have, in all likelihood, still offered them a larger audience than their usual shows on TNT and TBS. All of that has now gone out the window--for the foreseeable future, anyway. With the NBA lock-out settled, NBC will apparently honor their previous commitments and air the basketball games the two WCW shows would have replaced. The two dates in question were important to WCW not just because of the exposure it would have given them, but because they would have been going up, in direct competition, against the February and March WWF PPV's. Recent booking decisions in WCW were done to accommodate this planned special (Hogan regaining the World Title). There is talk that WCW will go ahead with the planned February show, airing it on TNT instead. The NBC deal seems to be contingent on how well that first special did. Now no one is sure when WCW will appear on NBC, if at all (and if WCW or NBC knows, neither is saying). Another problem, not widely discussed thus far on the Net, is what this does to WCW in regards to TBS and TNT? When the basketball season failed to come about the two home networks of WCW turned to them to help boost sagging ratings. WCW was given two Tuesday night time slots on TNT, and more may well have been in the cards. TBS was considering some similar spots. Now they have their basketball back, and WCW will again take a backseat to it, as they have every year, until the season concludes sometime in June. One clear downside to this for WCW is that Nitro will once again spend a few weeks preempted, shortened or juggled around during the playoffs. The WWF has traditionally made ratings inroads versus WCW at this time of the year (just as WCW does in the fall, when the WWF's RAW is preempted by U.S. Open tennis). WCW had the chance to get the full, focused backing by two cable and one broadcast network. While that opportunity hasn't completely evaporated, it has certainly been set back by a number of months. In the meantime, who knows how popular the WWF will get? WrestleMania is just around the corner, and if that goes well for them they can usually be assured of a healthy run of business all the way through to SummerSlam in August. In 1996 WCW, through talent defections and flat-out better booking, managed to catch up and surpass the success of the WWF--particularly on Monday nights. In 1997 they widened their margin of lead. In 1998 the WWF turned all that around, caught up to and passed WCW, retaking the top spot. Now in 1999 WCW is playing catch-up, while the WWF shows no signs of slowing down. Can WCW rise to the top again? Will the WWF put even more distance between the two? Or have both promotions reached their peaks, and could we see the beginning of a decline for one, the other, or both? The next two or three months may be the most important for both companies since the first quarter of 1996. Last week may or may not have been a sign of things to come. This week, with both shows going live head-to-head, fans certainly were looking forward to seeing what kind of ammo the two companies have for the upcoming battle. Enough cliches, on with the shows ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours+. Location: Knoxville, Tennessee. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - Clip from Thunder of "Hollywood" Hogan talking about the NWO having "backup". - "Mean" Gene Okerlund brings out WCW President Ric Flair. Flair says he had a meeting with Ted Turner and Dr. Harvey Schiller, and that there's nothing he can do about Hogan winning the World Title. He adds, though, that Hogan is under contract with WCW until 2001, so there's no way Hogan can run for President. Flair then brings out J.J. Dillon, who he reinstates as Chairman of the Executive Committee. Dillon announces that Hogan's first World Title match will be next month at SuperBrawl (some six weeks or seven weeks after winning the belt). Dillon and Flair guarantee that Hogan will face a WCW wrestler and not an NWO wrestler. Moving on, they announce the main event for Souled Out this Sunday: Scott Hall vs. Goldberg in a "Ladder/Suspended Taser Match". Flair then calls out the members of the Latino World Order. Flair mentions Eddie Guerrero "laying in a hospital bed with a broken leg" (supposedly done by the NWO last Thursday). Flair asks for the latinos to give up their LWO shirts and return to WCW, where they will get everything once promised them. They all comply except for Rey Mysterio, Jr., who just walks out. Flair wraps up by booking himself into a match against Curt Hennig later tonight. Talk about housecleaning. Only took fourteen minutes. - They play a video featuring photos of old NWA stars, with a "Tradition" voiceover courtesy a Ric Flair interview from a week or so ago. - Thunder clip showing the NWO killing the LWO. Last week's Thunder wasn't that good, but there sure were a lot of the big stars on hand. - "Mean" Gene interviews Saturn. Chris Jericho (with Ralphus) comes out and challenges Saturn to a "Loser Wears A Dress" match at Souled Out. Wonder who's going to lose that one. - PERRY SATURN vs. ERNEST "THE CAT" MILLER (w/ Sonny Onno) The referee, Scott Dickinson, that Saturn has been having problems with, comes out and tells the regular ref he's needed in the back. From there it's just academic until the obligatory "ref DQ's Saturn for the tiniest infraction possible" finish. Jericho comes in and, after hitting Saturn with a snow shovel, tries to put a dress on him. The announcers declare "Saturn is unconscious!", even though Saturn is clearly sitting there trying to help put that dress on. Dumb angle, but the PPV match should be good. A Flair clip from Thunder leads into the opening credits (more than 35 minutes into the hour?) - Nitro Girls. - They play a tape of Eric Bischoff appearing at the WCW corporate headquarters. Bischoff badmouths the cameraman filming him, and complains about a "money green Jag" being parked in his space. Trying to get in he finds his key card won't open the door. His receptionist Amy is no longer there, and the new one and the security guard give him the cold shoulder. Bischoff, complaining about Flair, gets to make a gratuitous remark in about how he was there in 1991 when Flair and Jim Ross were running the company and "couldn't put 400 people in the building if they were giving away money." (I'm so glad Eric fired the first cheap shot tonight. Makes what the WWF does later all the more justified.) Bischoff is stuck waiting "a long time" for Flair to grant him an audience. Long story short, Flair hands Bischoff his stuff from his old office and walks him outside to his new job: guy who sets up the ring! Instead of taking a flight to Knoxville, Eric instead has to ride in the truck with the ring. I tried not to laugh, but this was just too funny. Damn you, WCW! - "Mean" Gene brings out Chavo Guerrero, Jr. There's a table with a birthday cake. It's Pepe's birthday. Do I need to describe any further? Norman Smiley comes out and dumps the cake on Chavo. He then takes Pepe outside and tosses the stick horse into a wood chipper. I laughed at the wood chipper bit. - They show a clip of Raven playing backgammon with James Fullington. He asks his mom where his stuff is. She says it's out in the garage: put there when his grandma moved in. Raven digs through some stuff and finds some old pictures and posters of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. I'm not sure if it was their intention, but this came of as really queer. (I'm talking *flaming* here.) - "Hollywood" Hogan and the NWO come into the arena escorted by a number of Hells Angels on motorcycles. Hogan, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Scott Steiner launch into a speechathon which lasts a good five minutes. This is followed by a clip from last week of Hogan winning the title. They also show footage from after Nitro went off the air, in which Goldberg is backed up by several players from the Atlanta Falcons. (This is what led to Hogan's comments about "backup" on Thunder.) Somewhere during all this the first hour ends, having only featured maybe four minutes of actual wrestling. That has to be an all-time low. (Not that what they showed was all bad, it's just that I thought WCW trashed the WWF for not focusing enough on WRESTLING. Their fans do, anyway.) HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. KAZ HAYASHI This starts at roughly the 1:10 mark of the show. By the 1:12 mark it's over. Lex Luger comes out and beats up Hayashi. He then asks Rey about the LWO shirt he's still wearing. Luger strikes, but Mysterio gets in a bit of underdog offense before the expected pounding commences. Konan runs out and stops Luger, asking him what he's doing? Luger responds by asking what does he ever do with the rest of the Wolfpac: they never hang out together. Kevin Nash (and others) come to the ring. Nash says "let me speak on dis!" as Luger attacks Konan from behind. Hogan and the rest of the NWO come out and "nWo 4 Life" is sprayed on Konan's back. The fans chant "we want Sting!" Can't say as I disagree with any of this. - Thunder clips. - "Mean" Gene interviews the Giant. The show is now half over and we've seen about six minutes of wrestling. - LENNY LANE vs. BOOKER T. Eric Bischoff recently wrote about Vince McMahon "getting it". I wonder if he, or whoever is booking this crap, "gets it"? Booker with the pin in about four minutes. Not a bad match, just no doubt whatsoever about the outcome. In hyping the Nash/Giant match they show a clip from a very early Thunder where the Giant broke the ring by pushing over the corner ringpost. (That's back when Thunder was kind of cool.) - Hogan/Nash NWO video with the two discussing how "strenuous" their title match was last week. Funny stuff, though it doesn't make up for what a steaming load that "match" was. Nash talks about "cat scans" and "internal bleeding" from Hogan poking him in the chest. The announcers are disgusted by this. - Replay of the Hell Angels entrance from earlier. - SCOTT STEINER (w/ Buff Bagwell) vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE Wow, a Nitro caliber match, and it only took them AN HOUR AND FORTY-FIVE MINUTES to get to it! Buff and Scott goof around with a female fan at ringside (killing even more time). DDP makes his usual entrance through the crowd. As usual he's sick with "walking pneumonia" (see, DDP is always "sick" or "injured" when he gets beaten or beaten up). Stalling from Steiner at the start. Bagwell tries to interfere but DDP fights it off. The ref lets it go. DDP then pulls a Luger and lets Steiner beat him up for the next several minutes. Vincent finally runs in, but is held back by the ref (which leads to a poorly executed ref bump, with DDP being pushed into the ref by Steiner). Bagwell then throws powder in DDP's eyes. Vincent tries to attack, but is Diamond Cuttered by the blinded Page. Steiner then chairs DDP and slaps on the Steiner Recliner. The ref, ignoring the cloud of powder and the body lying in the ring, checks the unconscious Page and declares Steiner the winner. I'm surprised DDP only needed this much to be beaten. No baseball bats? Stun guns? Chloroform? Kimberly kidnapped? - Special taped comments from Goldberg, re: Hogan and Nash. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - They play a video of Bischoff setting up the ring, while being berated by a crusty foreman. This was more "amusing" than outright "funny". Bischoff has his own wrench (used to tighten the turnbuckles). This will become an important point later in the evening. - Even more clips from Nitro last week. - Replay of Bischoff and his wrench. Remember the wrench ... remember the wrench ... - Scott Hall comes out and does his survey. We're at about the 2:15 minute mark now and have had three matches, with roughly twenty minutes of wrestling. They cut to a commercial. - SCOTT HALL vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW Some decent action, but in very short order Disco Inferno comes out and passes off the stun gun/taser/cattle prod/shock stick (take your pick) to Hall. At the same time Wrath runs out and pushes Bigelow off the top turnbuckle. Hall zaps Bigelow (when the ref isn't looking) and covers for the pin. - More taped comments from Goldberg, this time about Lex Luger. - They come back from commercial, show old tape of Nash Jackknifing the Giant, then take another commercial. Do they even want anyone to watch tonight? - Nitro Girls. They take ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK! What the HELL?! - CURT HENNIG vs. RIC FLAIR Seems like it's been days since Flair made this match (and not just two hours ago). Hennig starts off in control. Barry Windham and David Flair then come out, so they CUT TO A COMMERCIAL. Hennig puts Flair in the Figure Four, which I guess is supposed to make this match all exciting and dramatic. David Flair, at ringside, is incapable of displaying any emotion. Flair and Hennig trade stiff chops to satisfy the Whoo!-Heads(tm) watching. Hennig and Windham attack David, driving Ric nuts. Back in the ring Ric slaps on the Figure Four, which finally brings Windham in for the overdue DQ finish. They set up a double clothesline, but David reaches in and trips the two. Father and son stand triumphant. - Goldberg talks about Scott Hall. - Nitro Girls. - Michael Buffer does the Giant's entrance, followed by a F#@%ING COMMERCIAL BREAK! YOU GO TO HELL, WCW! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!! - THE GIANT vs. KEVIN NASH Do I even need to bother with this? Nash knocks out the Giant with Eric Bischoff's wrench, conveniently left under the ring. The rest of the NWO come out and the Giant is spraypainted and dumped from the group. Bischoff shows up at the desk to declare Nash the "Corporate Giant". Hmmm ... So long WCW, hello WWF! - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Once again the question of the week is "is the Giant gone?" Well, reports from fans in attendance say that after the cameras went off, and after the NWO had left the ring, the Giant got up, waved to the fans, and was hugged by some of the Nitro Girls as he walked out of the arena. Sounds like someone saying goodbye to me. The Giant's contract reportedly runs out on February 9th. Assuming there's no "no-compete" clause, and he doesn't re-sign before then, he could show up at the WWF's February In Your House PPV on 2/14--or the next night on the live RAW. He could even debut as early as Saturday the 13th, which is when they'll be airing the RAW taped on the 8th at the Toronto Skydome (which will be preempted the preceding Monday by the yearly Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on USA). The Giant could appear in a segment taped sometime after the 9th, but added to the footage from the 8th. (It's more likely, though, that the show on the 13th would just tease his arrival either at the PPV the next night, or the RAW the night after that.) The only word that has surfaced regarding a "no-compete" clause was in a recent interview by Kevin Nash on Mark Madden's radio show, in which he reportedly said the Giant had a six month no-compete clause. In all the months fans have been talking and speculating on this no other rumor source has mentioned any such clause. We should be hearing something more definite on this within the next few days. From a pure wrestling standpoint this was, no exaggeration, one of the worst Nitro's ever. I can't think of any show in recent memory that had so many highlights clips, pointless interviews and extra commercial breaks. There were only four "real" matches and all had screwy endings. (Six of the seven matches on the night, in fact, had screwy finishes.) Nash actually worked a bit in his match this week, so I won't call him a "lazy bastard". Oops ... Here's the card for Souled Out (thus far): * Scott Hall vs. Goldberg. "Ladder/Suspended Taser Match". * Ric Flair & David Flair vs. Curt Hennig & Barry Windham. * Chris Jericho vs. Saturn. "Loser Wears A Dress Match". * Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath. * Chavo Guerrero vs. Norman Smiley. I'm just guessing about that last one. I'd also guess we might see Konan vs. Luger. The PPV is this Sunday, so we should get another match or two announced on Thunder this week. (Of course with WCW any announced PPV card only has about a 50/50 chance of happening.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Houston, Texas. WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - No video clips to open this week. The "Attitude" promo leads straight into the blood and explosions opener. Members of DeGeneration X come out to work up the crowd. From the stage the Road Dogg does their usual schtick, leading to the arrival of Mankind. The brand new WWF Champion has new accompanying theme music. The fans chant "Foley!" Cut to the back, where Vince & Shane McMahon, and the Rock, look on disgustedly from their respective dressing rooms. Mankind launches into a speech about how long it took him to get into the WWF, and how Vince McMahon never saw the superstar potential in him. The camera lingers on a fan holding a "Mick Foley Put My Ass In This Seat Tony" sign. Mankind thanks Jim Ross for bringing him into the WWF. He goes on to thank D-X for watching his back last week, and also thanks "Stone Cold" Steve Austin for helping him win the title. He says he owes him one, and that he'd really like to see Austin win the Royal Rumble so that the two can square off in the main event at WrestleMania. The Rock and the two McMahon's come out. Shane calls Mankind a disgrace. Noting that he has been befriended by D-X, he announces a "Corporate Royal Rumble" will take place tonight between D-X and the Corporation. The last man left standing in the match will be entrant #30 in the Royal Rumble match at the PPV. The Rock then takes over and delivers a hot interview in which he badmouths Mankind, Austin and the San Antonio crowd. He challenges Mankind to a title match, but Foley turns him down ("I've already beaten your ass twice!"). He offers a few stipulations such as "no DQ" and "no countout", but Mankind still declines. The two trade some barbs regarding each other's "testicular fortitude". The Rock finally says "I quit--", which Mankind agrees to: an "I Quit" match, with no DQ, no countouts, no wins via knockout or excessive blood loss, and no Corporation members allowed at ringside. Someone must say "I quit" for the match to end. McMahon grabs the mic and announces that tonight Mankind will face Kane. Mankind says until he loses he's still the champ, "if you smell what the Sock is cooking!" Steve Austin has arrived at the building. This whole segment took twenty minutes. - THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS (w/ Chyna) vs. JEFF JARRETT/OWEN HART (w/ Debra) Before the match they show the Road Dogg and Billy Gunn arguing as to who is more vulnerable to Debra's "charms". After the match is underway it doesn't take long for Debra to try and interfere, but Billy Gunn (in the ring) doesn't fall for her bra-baring routine. Debra then gets into a confrontation with Chyna, which ties up both Gunn and the ref. Chyna knocks Debra down, but in the process Owen Hart manages to nail the Road Dogg from behind and roll him up for the pin (the camera missing all but the three count). Jarrett and Hart will now get a Tag Team Title shot against Ken Shamrock and the Big Bossman at the PPV. Up next: the debut of Gillberg! (Who?) - Police officers are guarding a door marked "Gillberg". Out steps Duane Gill, dressed in black trunks, gloves and boots. Wearing his Light Heavyweight Title belt, he makes the long walk to the ring, pumping his fists, growling and shaking his head (imitating you-know-who) A loud "Gill-berg!" chant is played over the P.A. system. Out on the stage he's met by fellow J.O.B. Squad members Scorpio, Bob Holly and the Blue Meanie, who are holding sparklers around him. Gillberg starts coughing from the inhaled smoke. Once in the ring he grabs the mic and says "Gillberg doesn't want to know 'who's next?' Gillberg wants to know 'who's first!'" - GILLBERG vs. LUNA Gillberg tries a spear, but misses. Luna then cinches up a suplex, but Gillberg reverses it into a Jackhammer--which fails. (Michael Cole notes that Gillberg only knows that one move.) Luna falls on top of him and gives up the cover to go for the choke. Luna lands a legdrop, then a large breasted splash off the top, followed by the pin. Gillberg's streak now officially stands at 0-1. Luna, as she is celebrating, is tackled from behind by that mystery woman who has been stalking Sable. Security pulls her out of the ring and dumps her back in the crowd. (Speaking of stalking, I wonder if next week Luna will call the cops on Gillberg for said offense?) (Yes, this was a cheap shot, and damned if it wasn't a pretty funny one.) - Replay of Shawn Michaels getting rubbed out last week, followed by a clip from Sunday Night Heat of Vince McMahon knocking the hell out of Jose Lothario. Michaels update: he goes in for surgery on Tuesday. - Dennis Knight has escaped from captivity and is out babbling about "Him". The Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw) come out and escort him away. - VAL VENIS vs. KEN SHAMROCK Shamrock's sister is at ringside, and likes what she sees in Venis. Ken runs out and kicks the hell out of Venis. No match. Billy Gunn then comes out and moons Shamrock's sister. She likes that too, which prompts another Shamrock beating. Venis tries to help, but he gets clobbered by the Big Bossman. Shamrock goes on to give Gunn that Intercontinental Title match he's been wanting at the PPV. Mankind and Austin are in the back talking. Don't change the channel! - X-PAC vs. AL SNOW Snow is minus the Head tonight, as it was stolen on Heat by Goldust. I have no idea why. X-Pac wins this decent match when Goldust comes out and nails Snow with the Head, allowing X-Pac to hit the X Factor for the win. X-Pac retains the European Title. (Speaking of which, remember the cool graphics they show when there's a title match? They now have a new batch of these, but they're not as nice as the old ones.) Insta-feud(tm) strikes again. McMahon is in the back pumping Kane up for his match against Mankind. Kane will apparently go it alone tonight, without Jerry Brisco or Pat Patterson at ringside. McMahon orders Kane to destroy Mankind and bring the title back to the Corporation. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler ... - ... and is rated "TV14". Hmmmm ... - KANE vs. MANKIND An okay, albeit uneventful match, which comes to an end when the Rock runs in to interfere. He then lays out both competitors with a steel chair. Out comes Austin (to a monster pop from the crowd). The Rock holds Austin at bay with the chair, until it's taken away by Mankind. Austin has a staredown with the Rock, then lays out both Mankind and Kane with Stone Cold Stunners. Not sure I like what this finish (Kane very nearly winning) says about Mick Foley's standing as Champion. - McMahon wants to know what the Rock is thinking? The Rock verbally lays into him, telling him he's going to "make that son-of-a-bitch Mankind say 'I quit!'" - TRIPLE H (w/ Chyna) vs. EDGE Okay, but too short match which Triple H wins with the Pedigree. Christian then runs out, the lights go off, D-X runs out, and Road Dogg winds up getting the blood bath this week. - This next bit was really silly, and I'm going to blow through it as quick as I can: A throne in the shape of the Undertaker's symbol is on the stage. Gregorian chants play as the purple lights come on. The Undertaker's theme kicks in and out he comes, wearing dark robes, accompanied by the Acolytes, robed Druids, and Paul Bearer. The Undertaker, his face difficult to make out under the hood, has shaved his moustache. He lips syncs to a voiceover which rambles on about the "Ministry of Darkness" and such. He then goes over to Dennis Knight, who is laid out on an altar, and "cuts" his own wrist with a dagger. Blood (presumably from a tube running up his arm) is poured into a cup. Knight is forced to drink from the cup. The Undertaker then "carves" his symbol into Knight's chest (the blood once again a special effect. I hope). He renames Knight "Minion". The crowd starts to chant for Steve Austin. Dramatic music plays during all this. A bolt of lightning comes down and sets the Undertaker's symbol on fire. Mist starts to pour from the altar and Knight's body begins to levitate. Watching this gave me chest pains. And a headache. - D-Lo Brown comes out with Terri Runnels and Jacqueline. D-Lo tries to apologize for what happened to Terri last week. To make it up to her he agrees to do whatever she says. She wants him to wrestle a special match tonight. Mark Henry then comes out--D-Lo's planned opponent. Henry isn't dressed to wrestle, though, and turns his back on D-Lo. Jacqueline charges and pushes D-Lo into Henry's back. Mark turns and he and D-Lo start shoving and exchanging words. Terri then comes up from behind Henry and nails him with a low blow. Out comes Chyna and her friend Sammy. Chyna grabs Jacqueline by the throat and throws her down (with Jackie once again popping out of her top). Chyna and Sammy help Mark to the back. This whole segment came off as an "obligatory weekly soap opera installment". (Okay, so maybe no more so than anything else on Raw, but doggone it--I was still a bit pissed from the Undertaker segment.) - Sammy is comforting Mark in the back. - Another McMahon training video. This time Shane has got his pop jogging in the snow, chasing a chicken, and punching sides of beef in a slaughterhouse. This cheered me up a bit. - THE CORPORATION vs. DEGENERATION X Shane comes out to do color commentary. Shamrock starts the match off against Billy Gunn, and actually winds up eliminating himself by jumping over the top rope to get at Gunn. After a minute the Big Bossman comes out. A minute later it's Road Dogg's turn, but out comes Test instead. X-Pac comes out next. Gunn is eliminated by Test during a series of hiptoss reversals. X-Pac looks like dead meat until Road Dogg comes out. Everyone is evenly matched until the next entrant, Kane, arrives. Kane eliminates Road Dogg. The three Corporation members then beat on X-Pac until Triple H comes out. Kane grabs Triple H and holds him for Test. Test tries a clothesline, but Triple H ducks, and Test hits Kane instead. Kane grabs Test and chokeslams him out of the ring. X-Pac and Triple H follow behind with a double clothesline, sending Kane out. The Bossman is right behind and dumps X-Pac. That leaves the Bossman and Triple H. The crowd is then surprised to see yet one more entrant for the Corporate Team: Vince McMahon! McMahon, his 21 inch pythons glistening, makes his way to the ring flanked by Patterson and Brisco. In the ring the Bossman hoists Helmsley up and tries to dump him over the top rope. McMahon slides in and pushes both up and over. Thinking he's won (and regained his #30 spot in the Rumble), McMahon tears off his shirt and displays his saggy, oiled pecs. The buzzer goes off again, and the D-X theme plays. Here comes Chyna, the final member of team D-X! McMahon sends Brisco and Patterson to head her off. They try to keep her out of the ring, but she winds up decking both. The glass breaks, and here comes "Stone Cold" Steve Austin again (another huge crowd pop). He and McMahon stare down, allowing Chyna to sneak up from behind and dump McMahon over the top. (It should be noted, Vince does a complete flip, and whiplashes his neck against the bottom rope. He takes an ugly spill to the floor and doesn't move for the remaining moments of the show. Nasty looking bump.) Austin taunts McMahon, while Chyna celebrates her entry into the Royal Rumble. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: The first ninety minutes or so of the show was fairly good. Then the Undertaker bit came along and left me cold as ice. Words can't adequately describe how bad this was, and how much it insults one's intelligence. I am, in general, a fan of the theatrics employed by the Undertaker. This, though, just went so far off the mark--so over the top. We've all seen stuff like this in cheesy horror movies, usually done so much better than this. I don't quite get what the intention here is. Did they need to get *this* silly to get over the fact that the Undertaker is building this new army of his--the "Ministry of Darkness"? This really hearkened back to the days of the Ultimate Warrior, Papa Shango, and the Undertaker vs. Undertaker feud. That is NOT a compliment. Maybe I shouldn't be that upset, since this isn't too far off from what they're doing with the Brood, (another angle I'm losing patience with), and fits with other recent Undertaker activities. Darn it, though, this really just came off as too silly to be believed. All I could do was shake my head and think "give me a break." I wasn't offended. I didn't think it was that "controversial". It just looked really, really silly. I sure hope the "I Know What You Did Last Summer" crowd liked this, because someone better if the WWF wants to keep an audience. The rest of the show rebounded a bit, with the finale being almost good enough to wipe the taste of the Undertaker segment from my mouth. Almost. If I were giving the show a "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" rating, I'd give the Undertaker bit a definite "thumbs down", and the rest of the show a solid "thumbs up". I don't know if those cancel each other out, but my overall reaction at this time is still one of slight disappointment, mostly when comparing the show to last week. Let's call it an off night, with the show generating an early frontrunner for dumbest angle of the year. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: We've warmed up a bit here in Minnesota. It was only five below zero today. SOMEBODY RESCUE ME!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 165 of the "Monday Night Recap", January 11th, 1999.