Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #135 June 15th, 1998 WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Three Hours. Location: Uniondale, New York. HOUR ONE Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko. - Things kick off with the Public Enemy immediately heading to the ring for a match. Seeing as how this is the more northerly stretch of the East Coast, WCW is quick to appeal to the ECW fans who heavily populate the region. Much like other trips to Boston and Philadelphia, the Public Enemy is WCW's tool in this endeavor. And, much like past efforts, this fails miserably. Why is Nitro rated "TVPG" again? Wasn't it "TV14" just last week? - PUBLIC ENEMY vs. THE BARBARIAN/HUGH MORRUS (w/ Jimmy Hart) They start off whacking each other with those disposable tinfoil trays you get to bake things in. You know: the ones in the cooking aisle of your local grocery store. It's physically impossible to hit someone in the head with them and cause the slightest discomfort. My nephews used the one we cooked a turkey in recently and wailed each other with it, giggling when the tray just bent instead of doing any damage. Here the wrestlers acted like their brains were being scrambled with every shot. What garbage. They also did some flimsy frying pan shots, aluminum trash can shots, as well as a spot with a rubber garbage can. The match then moved to its "wrestling stage", where the two teams locked it up in the ring and pretended to wrestle. The obligatory tableshot followed, which involved a setup which so contravened the laws of physics and logic that several professors from MIT are considering suing on behalf of the Universe. Rocco Rock covers the Barbarian and referee Nick Patrick makes the three count, this being a "Street Fight" or something. I was amused by this, in much the same way one gets a chuckle when you see someone jack up a car and realize it's going to fall off the jack and crush them. The fans in attendance enjoyed this far more than any self-respecting "extreme" fans should have. - In a pretaped segment Mike Tenay asks some fans outside the arena who Sting should pick as his tag team Partner. A kid says Lex Luger. Everyone else yells "the Ultimate Warrior!" Tenay turns to get another opinion, realizes the answer will indeed be the Warrior, then hastily moves on to another topic. Hah! - Past footage of Kevin Nash offering a Wolfpac spot to Diamond Dallas Page is shown. Something I missed when this originally happened: Nash noted that the Wolfpac took a vote and it was unanimous except for Randy Savage, who has an existing beef with DDP. Interesting. - Nitro Girls. Zbyszko mentions that a new Nitro Girl will make her debut tonight. - "Mean" Gene interviews Randy "Macho Man" Savage, who challenges DDP, his old nemesis, to a Steel Cage Match later tonight. Savage says if DDP beats him, then he can join the Wolfpac. I wonder what Nash thinks of this? Gee, you don't suppose WCW decided to do a cage match because the WWF was going to do one? The WWF advertised theirs early in the day on AOL. Unless both groups routinely lug the cage around with them, though, the decision by both had to have been made some time ago. I wonder who made the decision first? - Still photos from the Bash are shown recapping the "Hollywood" Hogan, Bret Hart, Randy Savage & Roddy Piper match; as well as the subsequent Savage/Piper match. Savage took the loss in both. - Following the beak they show clips of the Chris Benoit, Booker T. and Fit Finley matches. - CHRIS BENOIT vs. FIT FINLEY An overly long, but decent match. The crowd was rabidly against Finley, breaking into a huge "Finley sucks!" chant. "Boring!" rang out more than once as this one went along. The usual action you'd expect from these two, featuring a middle resthold stretch which prompted the "Boring!" chants and a commercial break. Things heat up for the finish, which sees Benoit apply an out-of-nowhere Crippler Crossface for the submission win. It's funny ... the last time these two fought Finley got the win. Benoit was then denied any further title shots because he began the series against Booker T. Now he finally gets another shot, though it's after Finley has already dropped the title. Sure enough, Benoit wins. You'd have to be totally blind to not see that someone, somewhere, is screwing Benoit over. Benoit then talks to "Mean" Gene, telling him he has some unfinished business with Booker T. Out comes Booker and his brother Stevie Ray, who are scheduled to face Sting and his mystery partner later tonight in a Tag Team Title match. Benoit tells Booker that he's the best wrestler he's ever faced and that he completely respects him, raising his hand in a victory gesture to seal the point. He then starts to tell Booker that he can count on him if he ever needs a partner to back him up, but is cut off by Stevie Ray, who says he's Booker's partner. They repeat this exchange twice more. Stevie finally snaps, taking Benoit's statement as a sign of disrespect, and nails him. Booker looks on stunned as Stevie Ray pounds on Benoit. Suddenly Steve "Mongo" McMichael runs in to make the save! The crowd goes nuts as the two sides square off, with Booker hauling his brother out of the ring and Mongo checking on the groggy Benoit. Benoit then takes the mic and says he's not NWO or the Wolfpac. He represents ... then raises his hand in the traditional Four Horsemen gesture. A thunderous "We want Flair!" chant breaks out. Tony Schiavone, unable to say anything specific because of all the litigation out there, makes the weak statement "Oh my, what does that tell you?" What, Tony? What does it tell us? "That is a symbol that says it all!" What does it say, Tony? "We don't even have to tell you what that means!" Hah! - DDP comes out and accepts Savage's challenge, saying that after he beats Savage he's focusing on Hogan and Dennis Rodman. He says he's bringing in some help which will "deliver the BANG!" (Deliver ... like a mailman. Karl "Mailman" Malone.) They replay the attack on DDP by Hogan and Rodman last week. Schiavone says there are "rumors" about Malone "donning the tights", even mentioning Bob Costas. Schiavone says they can't confirm that, which I guess means they're the last people on the planet who can. There is a major, earth shattering announcement yet to come, though, so don't touch that dial. WCW loves to do this: take a "secret" of minor worth and vastly overhype it, dragging the final confirmation out so long that occasionally it gets forgotten along the way. Of course I don't really need to point of the magnificent luck that WCW actually happened to bring their cage with them this week, on the outside chance that one of their wrestlers might challenge another wrestler to a cage match. Do I? - Nitro Girls. The hour ends, having featured only two matches, totalling maybe 17 or 18 minutes. Roughly 15 minutes were commercials. The rest was talking and flashback footage. That has to be a record of some kind. HOUR TWO Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Zbyszko. - "Mean" Gene interviews "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. Piper, in his bogus undefined executive role, confirms that there will be a cage match between Savage and DDP (something we all already assumed). He adds that he will be the guest referee. Remember when he said he'd never referee again? (Of course he then immediately broke that promise by reffing the match between Savage and Bret Hart last month.) Piper's really starting to piss me off. - CHONO/TENZAN vs. HIGH VOLTAGE The Japanese duo have their ugly New Japan IWGP Tag Team Title belts with them. These guys are part of the NWO contingent in Japan. (Sort of like how Mike Tyson is still a WWF wrestler.) Anyway, this match lasts about ten hours, though the counter on my VCR only says ten minutes. Chono gets the pin on Kaos following a kick to the head, which Tenay calls the "Yakuza Kick". In America we'd call that the "Mafia Kick". I call it "a kick to the head". The fireworks go off to signal the start of the second hour which passed about fifteen minutes earlier. - The Wolfpac members hit the ring. Kevin Nash points out that Sting, the last man to join the Wolfpac, is the first to bring home some gold (not counting the same gold that Wolfpac member Nash himself lost a month ago). Konan mangles some English, followed by Sting, who says how any member of the Wolfpac would be a good choice as his partner. Somewhere, at some point in the show, Zbyszko mentioned that Lex Luger would be the obvious choice, meaning he's eliminated from contention. With Konan and Nash the only ones left to choose from, who would YOU pick? Yeah, I know ... the Ultimate Warrior. Instead of making his pick known here, we'll have to wait until the actual match later in the show. You know, D-X and Steve Austin, over on RAW, don't just come out and do pointless, time killing interviews. When they talk it has to do with something in the show, or developing a specific plot point relating to the upcoming PPV. That, or they show pretaped bits meant to amuse which are kept short. Here in WCW guys like Hogan and Nash just come out to talk. No wonder the fans care so little. This interview served no purpose other than to frustrate. That, and trick viewers into thinking something might happen, like an actual secret revealed, or a fight breaking out, or something. We already knew there was a match scheduled, that Sting would be revealing his partner, and that it would most likely be someone in the Wolfpac. This interview neither added to nor changed any of the facts going in. I'll keep repeating this: it's the details which make Nitro such a hard show to watch. Being three hours every week has made them lazy and desperate to fill time. And since it's the only way they know how to do it now, that same approach is used on the two hour Thunder broadcast, usually resulting in a boring, uneventful show. - They show stills from the sordid Kanyon/Saturn/Raven situation at the PPV last night. - KANYON vs. SICK BOY (w/ Lodi) A few decent moves aside this one was short and muddled, with Kanyon getting the win following the "Flatliner": a move which I fail to understand the mechanics of. You know Rocky Maivia's finisher, the "Rock Bottom", which is like a chokeslam done by hooking the opponent by the head and arm. Well, Kanyon's "Flatliner" is the same move, only it's performed by the victim! It looks like Sick Boy is actually doing the "Rock Bottom", except that somehow Kanyon takes no damage and Sick Boy ends up knocked out. The only difference is that with the "Rock Bottom" the head of Maivia is behind his opponent's arm and should come into contact with the mat, but doesn't because Rocky cushions his landing. Here Sick Boy's head was in front on Kanyon's arm, meaning Kanyon's arm took all the impact as the two hit the mat. Kanyon takes all the same impact that someone receiving the "Rock Bottom" takes--more, actually, because his entire body lands flat on the mat. Sick Boy lands on Kanyon's arm, his own hands, and knees, cushioning his entire landing. It's the same mechanics as a "Russian Legsweep", except that one person is facing the opposite direction, and again the wrong person is taking the damage. Anyone who has the "Flatliner" and "Rock Bottom" on tape should compare the two (as well as the "Russian Legsweep".) Every time Kanyon does this move he should be knocking himself out! - Curt Hennig and Rick Rude, again sporting the colors of the NWO, come out to tell us how evil they are. Konan is first on Hennig's hit list, followed by Goldberg. A spontaneous "Goldberg!" chant breaks out over the P.A. system. Crowd shots are unable to reveal any fans in attendance inspired to join in. The chant continues, unending, never varying in modulation, as a series of still clips from the Goldberg PPV match (win "100"--*snort!*) is shown. They return to the live crowd shot, where again no chanting fans can be seen. - "Mean" Gene interviews J.J. Dillon. Stills are shown from the Chris Jericho/Dean Malenko match from the PPV. Dillon says that since the title had been vacated by Malenko, there was no champion going into the match. That means that even though Jericho won by DQ ... That train of thought isn't finished as Jericho comes out to claim his belt. Dillon tells him the title is his, on the condition that he make a mandatory title defense against Dean Malenko in the next 30 days. Jericho says he doesn't have to defend the belt, and can pick and chose his challengers. After another discouraging word about Boris Malenko, Dean Malenko comes out and the two brawl to the back of the building. Malenko throws the new Cruiserweight Champ into a door, onto a table, clotheslines him into a dumpster, then is held back by security as Jericho runs out of the arena. - CHRIS ADAMS vs. THE GIANT The Giant smokes a cigarette during the match, which lasts less than a minute. The Giant never loses his cig as he no-sells Adams' moves, then chokeslams him for the win. What the hell? Is this how we know the Giant is evil: he smokes? - They replay DDP getting laid out again. Then Eric Bischoff, "Hollywood" Hogan and the Disciple hit the ring. Hogan dares DDP to get a partner and do something about what he and Rodman did to him. Why is Hogan always a page behind everyone else in the storyline? Wow ... three matches, less than 15 minutes. These guys are good. HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. - Nitro Girls. The blonde one needs implants. - Sting comes to the ring and, after dropping every other name in competition, names Kevin Nash as his tag team partner. Permanent WCW fan enthusiasm can actually be seen taking a 10% drop. Tenay says something about Sting fooling the "Experts". Yeah, we all thought he'd pick Luger. We got swerved, while the fans got f***ed. Nash gets his hands on another bullshit Tag Title reign. (What now, his sixth?) - STING/KEVIN NASH vs. HARLEM HEAT Stevie Ray is just awful, and any teamwork the two once knew has disappeared. (Hard to believe they are eight time Tag Team Champions.) Sting wrestles most of the match, with Nash coming in a few times to do his three or four moves worth of offense. The match stretches on for well over ten minutes, including a commercial break in the middle. The finish comes when Stevie Ray, taunting Nash in the ring, falls victim to a Deathdrop at the hands of Sting. The pop for the finish is about the only interest the crowd shows in the match. - They replay the black-and-white NWO promo detailing Scott Steiner's foray into movies. This allows them time to construct the steel cage, which looks all too familiar. Let's dub it "Heck in a Box", shall we? Bischoff and Steiner then come out for a pointless interview session, done on the steel entry ramp. I guess they needed time to finish tightening all the nuts and bolts. Scott says his brother Rick is stupid. He eats works too, and has cooties. - Michael Buffer does the introductions. Piper comes out first, checking the various cage joints to show how solid it is. Savage then comes out. Page comes out following a commercial. He climbs to the top to play to the crowd, killing what could have been a cool visual later in the match. We can see that this cage, much like the "Hell in a Cell" cage, is constructed in advance and suspended from the ceiling of the arena, lowered by chains so that it fits over the ring. Could the crowd have seen it there all along? That'd have to had made Savage's "impromptu" challenge and DDP's acceptance look overly melodramatic. Unlike the other "Cell" cage, this one fits on the ring apron, making it difficult to enter and exit through the door. I'm assuming this is the same cage DDP and Raven fought in a couple months ago. Almost ten full minutes pass between the start of the intro's and the bell to start the match. - RANDY SAVAGE vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE I'd forgotten until tonight that these two had a lengthy feud in which nothing was resolved. Nothing would change here. The first portion of the match is low-key, with Piper calling things down the middle. Both guys were thrown into the cage several times. After a commercial break, though, Savage and Piper start to get into it. Savage then nails Piper from behind, then lays him out with a Piledriver. DDP and Piper then somehow get into it. I lost track of the action as all semblance of a match broke down. The crowd amused itself with chants, calling for something that sounded like "Randal!"(?), "ECW!" and "Goldberg!" Suddenly the cage raises up a few feet, allowing the entire NWO to stream in (even the Japanese contingent). The cage then drops back down. Piper, DDP and Savage are all beaten mercilessly. Sting, Konan and Nash try to enter the cage, with Sting even climbing to the top. No dice. Nash then goes back by the announcer's desk, finds the control for the cage mechanism (near an unconscious crew member) and raises the cage. Nash flashes the crowd a sly smile, while we all ponder who lowered the cage if the crew member was out and all the NWO went into the cage? The show ends with the NWO still pounding everyone into paste--Sting and Konan being far outnumbered. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Only seven matches total, though the length of the last two almost equaled that of all the matches in the first two hours. That's an improvement over last week, but at the cost of quality wrestling as there wasn't a single stand-out match this week. No winner in the main event. As we'll see, though, it wasn't the only cage match tonight to finish that way. This wasn't the better cage match, but it was the longer one. The fans were actually chanting Goldberg's name for real late in the show. Unfortunately for them he didn't appear--not even in a dark match. Something about a family illness, I hear. The crowd was really hot at the top of the show, but cooled considerably before it was all done. Interview comments by Nash, Sting and DDP would garner the best reactions during the body of the show. The crowd was into the first match more than most all others on the card. They were really dead during the main event, only managing to give off something of a buzz of noise towards the end. The finish woke them up, though. The return of Mongo, and the subsequent Horsemen sign, was probably the biggest point of the show. WCW promised a lot this week, using the PPV as a three hour commercial for the free show. Only about half of what was promised was delivered, with all the "surprises" falling well short of fan expectations. There were tons of Ultimate Warrior signs and posters in the crowd and his not being named as Sting's partner had to piss off a lot of fans. Jericho just being given the Cruiserweight belt was disappointing too. They could at least have had another match. Really puzzling was WCW's refusal to confirm the Karl Malone story. All the details have been released in the mainstream press. Schiavone mentioned his name but said they couldn't confirm the "rumor". DDP hinted about Malone. Hogan acted like it was still a huge secret. Unless I missed it, the "huge announcement" Schiavone promised for the latter part of the show was never made. At least the WWF, when the cat was let out of the bag regarding Mike Tyson, admitted he was signed, but acted vague in regards to what his "role" would be at WrestleMania. WCW would like us to think this is all some silly rumor so that when they do announce it, they can say "ah-hah!" How many "big surprises" in WCW have been blown in the last six or eight months because they take too damned long to reveal them? In the end this show really displays what it is that Nitro has lost in recent months (besides viewers, that is): spontaneity. For two hours we get a few minutes of wrestling and endless interviews which set up the third hour. "Just wait," they tells us, "it'll be great in the third hour!" The third hour then plays out and so much of what was promised never happens. Promised surprises and secrets go unrevealed, while the main event falls victim to the usual NWO run in. The only genuine surprise I can remember over the last few months was the return of Steve McMichael this week. It was cool, but let's face it: it's only Mongo. Take the above lack of spontaneity, add in the excessive length, absence of logic, poor production techniques and an off night wrestling-wise and you get a show which is damn hard to watch, much less get excited about. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: San Antonio, TX. WWF RAW Hosted By: Jim Ross and Michael Cole. - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's burial at the hands of Kane and Mankind last week is recapped. We then get a look at the "Hell in a Cell" cage, which is suspended above the ring. Some WCW wonks out there will probably suggest that the WWF decided to do a cage match tonight after hearing Nitro's announced match roughly an hour earlier. Yeah, I'm sure they had time to fly the cage in from Connecticut to Texas. As I mentioned above, I wonder who decided upon the cage first and who decided to make it a night of dueling cages? - Sable, surprisingly enough, makes her way to the ring. Once there she brings out the man responsible for bringing her back to the WWF: Vince McMahon. McMahon immediately addresses the Austin situation from last week, asking Sable to read a prepared letter than he has written. She reads it aloud and, in essence, it says that McMahon denies taking part in, or having any knowledge of, the attack on Austin last week. McMahon says this lays to rest all notions of him being part of some kind of conspiracy against Austin. Sable gives Vince a number of "yeah, righ!" looks while reading the letter. Vince gives her a peck on the cheek when she finishes, which brings up not only comparison to Bischoff and Liz ... but my lunch as well. Before this segment can drag on any further, Steve Austin comes to the ring, much to the chagrin of McMahon. Austin assists Sable in exiting the ring before the fireworks begin. He then closes in on McMahon, only to have McMahon beg him to wait a moment and hear him out. McMahon rattles off a story about how the Undertaker is in on the conspiracy against Austin. McMahon claims that the Undertaker deliberately let himself get cornered by the police last week, so that Austin would be left to the mercy of Kane and Mankind. McMahon says the Undertaker is part of the whole conspiracy, and is attempting to wrest control of the WWF World Title from him. *Bong!* goes the P.A. system and here comes the Undertaker. He gives his side of the story, saying when he made his intention known regarding the title he did so like a man, making the challenge in the center of the ring. He says he respects Austin, as well as the title and what it stands for. The Undertaker then threatens to rip McMahon's head off. The lights go out again and our little party is rounded out by the arrival of Kane, Mankind and Paul Bearer up on the stage. Mankind is quite a sight, wearing what looks like one of Bearer's old shirts and a tie. Paul says he and the Undertaker conspired against Austin last week. He then challenges Austin and the Undertaker to a match in the "Hell in a Cell", which coincidentally enough Mr. McMahon happens to have brought along tonight. While the match isn't "officially" accepted by Austin and the Undertaker, we can rest assured that they'll be there. No two or three interviews throughout the course of the evening to confirm what is plainly obvious at this point. - ROCKY MAIVIA vs. VADER The Nation is barred from ringside, which doesn't mean much as it turns out. Decent match, with Rocky starting out in control of the action. Vader quickly takes over, splashing Rocky off the corner turnbuckles after a series of other moves. Rocky kicks out of the pin attempt. Rocky slams Vader, catches him with a DDT and drops the People's Elbow, to name a few moves. He also clotheslines him out of the ring. While down on the floor Mark Henry runs out and attacks him, squashing him with a splash. Rocky, who had distracted the ref, drops to the floor and throws Vader back in. A quick Rock Bottom and Rocky gets the win. - DeGeneration X appears in a brief pretaped segment title "Droppin' Knowledge". Road Dog tells X-Pac that Triple H's Pedigree could snap that stack of times he calls his neck. He then tells Helmsley that there's no way X-Pac can miss his huge nose with one of his spin kicks. "I don't have a big nose!" Helmsley protests. "Pinnochio!" replies Road Dog. - Edge promo. - DARREN "PUKE" DROSDOV vs. "DOUBLE J" JEFF JARRETT (w/ Tennessee Lee) Right at the start of the match Marc Mero and Jacquelyn come out. Mero complains about Sable's return to the WWF. Jim Ross tells him to complain to McMahon. Mero says if McMahon can do whatever he wants, then Mero will do what he wants. The match itself isn't much, and is secondary to what's going on at ringside. Jacquelyn gets in an argument with Tennessee Lee. Jarrett winds up on the floor and in all the confusion Mero gives him a low blow, allowing Drosdov to get the upset pin. Mero and Jarrett will square off next week in the next round of the King of the Ring tournament. Going to the break Ross tells us Val Venis is coming ... next. Moans can be heard from behind the door of his dressing room. - Another "Droppin' Knowledge" segment from D-X. This time Billy Gunn asks the vital question: "where is Chyna going to be in all this?" - VAL VENIS vs. CHAINZ Val looks in his tights and talks about things being bigger in Texas. He wins here fairly easily with the Money Shot off the top. Chainz gets in a lot of offense, keeping this from being characterized as an outright squash. Very little crowd heat for Val, which isn't too surprising. Goldust used to have a lot of trouble getting over in Texas too, even though it's his home state. Texas crowds just don't seem to go for those perverted characters. This would actually start a long stretch of very little crowd heat for anything. - Kevin Kelly asks the Undertaker if he can trust Steve Austin? "How can you trust anybody who lives by the theory that you can't trust anybody?!" He says Austin can trust him, though. - The third "Droppin' Knowledge" skit. X-Pac and HHH tell each other that neither will lay down for the other. - "MARVELOUS" MARC MERO (w/ Jacquelyn) vs. DUSTIN RUNNELS Jeff Jarrett, Tennessee Lee and his Southern Justice bodyguards come out for color commentary. Dustin dominates most of this four or five minute match. Mero rallies enough to pull off a huracanrana off the top. Dustin kicks out at two. Mero then argues with Jarrett as Sable makes her way to the ring. He then sees her, which distracts him long enough for Dustin to roll him up from behind for the pin. With Jim Ross busy talking to Jarrett that left Michael Cole to deliver terrible commentary. Ross says we still don't know why McMahon brought Sable back to the WWF. - In the final D-X skit Chyna tells the two to stop arguing, go out there and give it their best. - Kevin Kelly gets comments from Dustin Runnels, who gives thanks to Jesus Christ for his victory. More of the evolution of Dustin, I guess. WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler. - X-PAC vs. HUNTER HEARST HELMSLEY X-Pac comes out first to the live version of the D-X theme. Helmsley then comes out to the regular theme. The absence of Helmsley's usual "Rumble!" parody keeps the crowd from getting worked up. Chyna comes to the ring very early in the match, which was pretty good by the way. Fast start with lots of moves, reversals and such (because they know each other so well). X-Pac is knocked to the floor. Chyna helps him up, then tosses him back in. She would do the same later with Helmsley. The match continues with spinning heel kicks, tilt-a-whirl backbreakers and so on. The action is suddenly interrupted by Rocky Maivia, who--from the second level balcony--begins ragging on Helmsley. Meanwhile X-Pac, who is down on the floor, is attacked by Owen Hart, who runs in from the crowd. The Rock tells Helmsley to turn around if he wants to smell what he's cooking. Triple H sees X-Pac down on the floor and goes out to help. The ref lays in the count. X-Pac tells Helmsley to get back in the ring before they're both counted out. Helmsley gets the win, moving on to fill the final slot in the tournament bracket. Ross announces that the second round begins next week, meaning that only the last four competitors will advance to the PPV. I think. Al Snow appears under the Titan-Tron, wearing his Avatar mask. The Head has on an Avatar mask also. After the commercial Jerry Lawler confronts him in the ring. Snow makes fun of the Avatar gimmick, then says he's going to make two citizens arrests. The first is on McMahon, for trying to kill his career. The second is Lawler, who he accuses of lewd behavior in public for screwing him over. Snow nails Lawler, then plants a ref who runs in with a half-assed version of the "Snowplow". He then whacks Lawler in the groin with the Head. "Jerry Lawler just got Head!" exclaims Ross. Zero crowd reaction at first, with the beating of Lawler bringing about the desired crowd reaction eventually. I suppose we can pencil Snow vs. Lawler in for the PPV, though I'm not assuming anything yet. - They do another of those Super Soaker ads disguised as something else. In this one D-X soaks Michael Cole as he cuts a bogus Live Wire promo. - Michael Cole asks Steve Austin if he trusts the Undertaker? Austin says he doesn't trust anybody. Cole asks if Austin trusts the Undertaker. Austin says no, given that the Undertaker obviously wants his title. - KEN SHAMROCK/DAN SEVERN vs. MARK HENRY/OWEN HART Before the match they show footage of Shamrock and Severn facing each other in the UFC. Ross says these two didn't want to do this match, but that they were forced into it by WWF matchmakers. Good match, with all four men looking good in different ways. Even Henry looked okay, just sticking to his strengths and doing quick power moves. He and Owen showed some good teamwork. Things lead up to a hot tag from Severn to Shamrock. Shamrock comes in with some blistering offense on Owen, but Owen still manages to outmaneuver Shamrock by slipping him into the Sharpshooter. Locked up in the middle of the ring there looks to be little hope for Shamrock. Suddenly Helmsley and the other D-X members run in, seeking revenge on Owen for the attack on X-Pac. Owen and Henry win via DQ. A massive brawl kicks off, involving the entire Nation, D-X, Shamrock and Severn, even Vader shows up to get back at Mark Henry. Wild stuff, which woke up the crowd a little bit. - 10 TAG TEAM ROYAL RUMBLE The winners will receive a Tag Title shot "in the near future", whenever that is. The goofy rule applies where if one man is eliminated, so is his partner. Eliminations are over the top rope, with both feet touching the floor. Teams enter every 30 seconds, with LOD 2000 (accompanied by Sunny) being the first team, and Kane and Mankind being the second! Order of entry and elimination: Midnight Express ... the Head Bangers (big crowd pop) ... DOA ... Golga & the Kurrgan ... the Express get eliminated ... Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor ... Steve Blackman & Faarooq (big crowd pop) ... Taka Michinoku & Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw ... DOA eliminated ... Terry Funk & Scorpio ... Kurrgan & Golga eliminated ... Bradshaw & Taka eliminated ... Christopher & Taylor eliminated ... Head Bangers eliminated ... Faarooq & Blackman eliminated ... LOD eliminated. It all comes down to Kane, Mankind, Funk and Scorpio. Funk goes out under the ropes and grab a chair, which he uses on Kane. Mankind attacks Funk, then uses the chair on him, sending him over the top, but Funk catches himself in the ropes. Kane takes out Scorpio with the Tombstone Piledriver. Mankind then holds a chair in front of Funk's face, which Kane delivers a big boot to, driving the chair into Funk's face. Funk finally drops to the floor, making Kane and Mankind the winners and number one contenders to the Tag Team Titles. - Paul Bearer asks Austin and the Undertaker if they have the guts to come out. Mankind then recites a poem relating the destruction of Austin and the Undertaker (which, as usual with Mankind, ends with "have a nice day!") The cage lowers around the ring as all this is going on. After no sign of the two Paul offers the opinion that the two are afraid to come out. He's answered by the sound of breaking glass. - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN/THE UNDERTAKER vs. KANE/MANKIND Austin comes out, but there's no sign of the Undertaker, even though his music is played twice. Speculation rises as to whether or not the Undertaker really is in on the conspiracy or not. Mankind and Kane attack Austin outside the Cell, sparking a huge brawl. Paul Bearer, inside the cage, decides to lock the door (presumably to keep the Undertaker out should he show up). He watches Mankind and Kane begin to dismantle Austin, which is why he misses the Undertaker rising up through a tear in the ring! The Undertaker demolishes Bearer, slamming him into the cage wall. Bearer is quickly busted open, blood gushing down and across his forehead. Kane, seeing his "father" being murdered, tries to enter the cage. He climbs onto the roof, searching for a way in. (I guess he forgot how to rip open the door like he did at "Badd Blood".) Austin, meanwhile, has gotten the upper hand on Mankind, knocking him out after a series of brutal chairshots. The Undertaker, in the Cell, drops the ring steps on Paul Bearer's head! Austin then climbs to the top of the cage and, in a visual which outshadows Nitro's similar attempts on the other channel, begins to brawl with Kane. The show fades out with the crowd going wild and Austin beating on Kane. - Next week: more King of the Ring matches. Comments: After the cameras went off word has it that the match actually got underway, with Austin and the Undertaker getting the win. Funny how RAW can do the same type of match, deliver less in terms of actual in-ring action, yet provide a much more exciting situation. RAW saved the "Hell in a Cell" attraction for PPV, yet still managed to deliver an exciting fight for the fans. The rest of the show varied in quality, with the crowd being out of it during long stretches. There weren't any really outright bad matches, but none of them really stood out either. I still enjoyed most of the show quite a bit. It'd have been nice if Shawn Michaels had shown up, but there was never much chance of that happening. It would have been a great show if X-Pac and HHH had gone to a clean finish, or Owen Hart had gotten the win in the tag team match. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Here are the second round KOTR matches: * Ken Shamrock vs. Mark Henry.
* Marc Mero vs. Jeff Jarrett.
* Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Rocky Maivia.
* Owen Hart vs. Dan Severn. I don't know if all those will be on RAW next week or not. Jim Ross just said the second round starts next week. All four matches have the potential to be good, setting up two really good final matches for the PPV itself (if that's the way it works out). I'm guessing that Helmsley and Owen will help eliminate each other, leading to a singles match between the two for Helmsley's European Title at the PPV. Assuming Shamrock beats Henry, and Jarrett beats Mero, that would give us Shamrock vs. Jarrett and Maivia vs. Severn for the PPV. Looks good, with a Shamrock/Severn final match being likely. I'd then look for Shamrock to win the whole thing. Severn could then beat him in a rematch somewhere down the road, with the two deciding it all in a third match next year at WrestleMania. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Week's Winner: RAW. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1998 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 135 of the "Monday Night Recap", June 15th, 1998.