[RESULTS/OPINION] WCW Monday Nitro/WWF Monday Night RAW (11/18) NOTE: Do you realize it's has been one full year since I've started writing this weekly Recap? Just think what I could have done with all those hours instead? I could have learned the Macarena... taught deaf kids to sign dirty words... made money smuggling freon from Mexico to the U.S. I feel so... empty. Here's a few statistics from that period of time: Weeks RAW won: Twenty-three. Weeks Nitro won: Twenty-seven. Weeks Nitro won, but didn't deserve it: At least once. Weeks RAW won, but didn't deserve it: None that I can think of. Weeks I declared a tie: One. Weeks I declared a tie because I'm a big wuss: One. Weeks I declared Satan the winner: One. Weeks neither won: One, because I declared Satan the winner. Weeks Nitro wasn't on: Two. Weeks RAW wasn't on: Four. Weeks RAW wasn't on, but I gave them the win anyway: Once. Weeks I was drunk when I wrote the Recap: At least twice. Weeks I was butt naked when I wrote the Recap: Nine. Weeks I had my neighbor write the Recap: None. Weeks I recieved threats from the WWF and/or WCW: None. Weeks I recieved threats from crazy people: Eleven. Weeks the Recap was delayed due to server problems: About 8. Weeks the Recap was delayed due to my moving problems: Maybe 12. Weeks the Recap was delayed because I'm a lazy rat bastard: Most of 'em. WWF Monday Night RAW: Live. Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler. * Quick Survivor Series 96 recap: - Free For All Countdown Show: * Bart Gunn, Aldo Montoya, Bob Holly & "Double J" Jesse James defeated Billy Gunn, The Sultan, Salvatore Sincere, & Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw. Bart Gunn was the sole survivor. - WWF Survivor Series 96: * The Godwinns, Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon (Dan Kroffat) defeated Owen Hart, The British Bulldog & The New Rockers. LaFon and Furnas were the sole survivors. * The Undertaker defeated Mankind via Tombstone Piledriver. The Undertaker has a new black leather outfit. * "Wildman" Marc Mero, "The Stalker" Barry Windham, Rocky Maivia & Jake "The Snake" Roberts (subbing for Mark Henry) defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry "The King" Lawler, Crush & Goldust. Maivia was the sole survivor. Mr. Perfect did not appear with Helmsly's team. * Bret "Hitman" Hart defeated "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Austin applied the "Million Dollar Dream" sleeperhold and Hart rolled Austin into a pinfall for the win. Hart will recieve a World Title shot at the next PPV. * Savio Vega, Yokozuna, Flash Funk (2 Cold Scorpio) & Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka vs. Faarooq, Vader, Razor Ramon & Diesel. Both teams were disqualified when a chair swinging brawl broke out. Snuka was the mystery partner, and delivered his patented "Superfly Splash" on Razor Ramon. * Sycho Sid defeated "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Sid hit Jose Lothario with a TV camera, then hit Shawn with it, then delivered a powerbomb for the win. Sid wins the WWF World Heavyweight Title. - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. MANKIND (w/ Paul Bearer) It seems Vader was injured at the PPV (by Yokozuna) so Mankind would be taking his place. This match is part of some kind of "Toughman" tournament, but they give no details. Mankind jumps Austin before he can reach the ring, and the two brawl on the floor for a bit. Someone holds up a sign in which the "F" word can clearly be read. T-shirts being worn in the front row feature Cactus Jack and Ric Flair, and there is a guy dressed like Vader. Enough atmosphere... Mankind slams Austin into the ring steps. Austin comes back with two double axehandle shots off the apron, the second following a running start. Action spills all over the place as Mankind tries to use a chair. Austin gets the chair, but has the referee take it away before he can swing. Austin then chucks Mankind into and over the railing into the crowd. Mankind comes back and gets Austin down on the apron, then delivers a guillotine legdrop, which spills the two to the floor again. Very chaotic match, with both men gaining the upper hand at times. Both men drop each other across the railing. Mankind tries a piledriver, but Austin turns it into a back bodydrop. Mankind goes over the top rope but lands on the apron and catches the turning Austin. Mankind drops to the floor and garrotes Austin's throat across the top rope. Mankind then climbs up to the top, but Austin catches him and slams him to the mat, then follows up with a flurry of punches and kicks. Back to the floor where Mankind is dropped on the railing, then back into the ring where Austin nails an elbow off the second turnbuckle. Austin covers for the pin but Mankind kicks out. Suddenly the Executioner (Terry Gordy in a really stupid outfit) arrives on the scene and enters the ring for the double team. The ref calls for the bell, awarding the match to Austin via DQ. In comes The Undertaker to lend a hand, and he chases off the two. Austin seems to resent this and catches Undertaker with a clothesline which dumps him over the top rope. Undertaker (in his new black leather tights and vest) looks on for a second then climbs back in. Austin (showing a bit more cowardice and fear than I cared for) takes off. A great match (combining brawling with some actual solid wrestling) ruined by it's finish. - Ahmed Johnson is shown making his way high up through the crowd. He takes a seat and signs some autographs. Sunny comes to the ring and introduces Faarooq for the next match. Faarooq, in new black tights, and accompanied by (what I'm lead to believe is) PG-13 (from the USWA) as his rappin' possee, represents the Nation of Domination (NOD.) This is not an NWO rip-off, so don't start! NOD is in the hizouse! Faarooq is carrying a 2X4 and looks a little like Jim Brown in his new getup. - FAAROOQ (w/ Clarence Mason) vs. SAVIO VEGA Match is joined in progress following a commercial. Little of interest here. Savio spills to the floor and one of the PG-13 (UpChuck and Wolfie Ice, or some such nonsense) whacks Savio with the 2X4. This brings Ahmed to ringside, but not before Faarooq scores the pin. Of of the Vanilla Ice hoodies tries to gank Ahmed with the board, but Ahmed floors him. He enters the ring as the rest flee. Ahmed gets on the mic and tells the departing Faarooq "You're going down!" The crowd picks up on the chant and it is repeated several times. - Still photos shown of Sycho Sid's victory over Shawn. - LEIF CASSIDY/BOB HOLLY vs. DOUG FURNAS/PHILIP LAFON Capt. Lou Albano comes out to sit in for commentary with the Spanish commentators (and they show him butchering the language.) Furnas and LaFon make their RAW debut and look fairly impressive. LaFon applies a 1/2 nelson suplex into a pin on Cassidy. They don't explain why Holly is teaming with Cassidy, but some of his actions looked slightly heelish. At one point he chucks Cassidy, his own partner, into the ring after Cassidy had tumbled out. They also play comments from the British Bulldog and Owen Hart. Owen says they will put their Tag Titles on the line against LaFon and Furnas, but only after they've "climbed the ladder" Clarence Mason adds. - Jim Ross interviews Sid. Ross asks if Sid is sorry for his actions towards Jose Lothario. Sid says no, that Jose deserved it because "when you put your ass on that apron, you became part of the game!" Sid says he'll give Shawn a rematch, and that he's also ready for the likes of Bret Hart, The Undertaker and Steve Austin. The crowd seemed hugely behind Sid. There were lots of Sid signs in the audience. They seemed to make it clear that Sid wasn't a heel, just psycho. - Next week's main event: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. Comments: I found myself very disappointed with this installment as it went along. It started off great, with one perhaps seeing the groundwork being laid for an Austin face turn (at the very least testing the waters.) Then they went and ruined it with not only a typical run-in DQ, but making Austin look like a real coward when faced with the Undertaker. This doesn't make any sense, given the fact that the two have fought before and Austin never was afraid like that. I don't think this is signalling an Austin/Undertaker feud, but it is another mark against Austin. Either that, or they will ignore the fact that it happened, which is always irritating. I'm getting this sick vibe that Austin's big push may be over, and that he'll quickly go the way of Goldust, Vader and Mankind. I seriously hope that's not the case. Bulldog/Hart vs. Furnas/LaFon WILL be the tag team feud of the year if they let the guys go all out. I've got no problem with Sid as champ (and I in fact called the title change about 3 weeks ago. Only in my prediction I had Sid joining Jim Cornette's army, which would force out Vader, in what would be a distressing but possibly much needed face turn for him.) They even did it in such a way that gave him the title fairly cleanly, yet Shawn always had that Superkick to fall back on. (Sid had hit Jose with a TV camera. Shawn then accidentally knocked out the ref with a dive off the top. Then Shawn knocked out Sid with the Superkick. There was no ref to make the count. Jose then started to have "chest pains" or something like that. When Shawn went to check on him, Sid nailed him from behind with the camera, threw him in the ring, and powerbombed him. The ref recovered and Sid got the pin.) The fans seem to be behind the change in any case. A lot of people are predicting that Bret Hart will beat Sid at the December In Your House. My feeling is that Shawn will regain the belt from Sid at the Royal Rumble in January, which takes place in Shawn's home town of San Antonio. I figure Bret will win at IYH by DQ, then go on to win the Royal Rumble to get the mandatory title shot rematch at WrestleMania XIII. That's where I see Bret winning the title back. However, I think that it's highly likely that the WWF is keeping a very close eye on the fan reaction for the next few months, perhaps more so than they usually do. Sid's title win seems to be a direct nod towards his overwhelming fan reaction of late. There does seem to be a genuine drop in the fan support for Michaels. There's little sense in giving him the belt back if that's not what the fans want. Shawn's only future at this point seems to be as a future sacrifice to Hart. If Shawn doesn't get the belt back prior to WrestleMania, or does and loses it there to Hart, I wouldn't rule out a heel turn on Shawn's part. WCW Monday Nitro: Live. HOUR ONE: Hosted by Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko. - No opening sequence at all as they immediately cut in to show Hall and Nash standing in the ring over several fallen WCW wrestlers. High Energy, the Nasty Boys, and Ciclope and Galaxy (the latter two identified by Mike Tenay later in the show.) Nash then accosts Tony Schiavone, grabbing a mic and asking "do you still think we're funny?!" Tony asks Larry to step in to his defense, but Larry says it's his problem to deal with. Nash and Hall amble off to the back. Tony seems pissed, asking Larry why he didn't do anything. Larry tells him to relax since nothing happened and he didn't get hurt. The camera follows Hall and Nash to the back, where they are jumped by the Faces of fear. Jimmy Hart is directing traffic as the two teams brawl around a table and spill a few garbage cans. The four men fight their way out some fire doors as they fade to commercial. Back from the break and Tony delivers the most genuine of temper tantrums. He's got five kids, a wife, and a bad neck (or back, which was operated on recently) to worry about, and he says he doesn't need "seven foot guys getting in my face! You're the former wrestler here... all this time we've worked together, why didn't you stand in front of me?" (Words to that effect.) Larry thinks he's overreacting, but Tony removes his headset and walks off the show. Tony rules! - LA PARKA vs. JUVENTUD GUERRERA La Parka is another Mexican superstar, and in my opinion fairly average (which still says a lot for him compared to the average North American wrestler.) He dresses like a skeleton-all blabk with white bones, mask and hood. Mike Tenay comes out to cover for Schiavone. Tons of high spots in this one, and here's a brief list of some of them: Guerrera slingshots into a body scissors to take La Parka over the top rope and out of the ring. Both trade blows on the top turnbuckle, La Parka slips and is crotched on the top rope, then Guerrera springboards into a huracarana taking La Parka to the mat. Guerrera springboards off the second rope into a moonsault. Another springboard maneuver is met by a La Parka dropkick. La Parka does a tremendous plancha from the top turnbuckle to the floor. Guerrera nails a dropkick off the top rope, a huracarana off the top and a swinging DDT off the second turnbuckle. La Parka finally gets the upset win with a top turnbuckle 180 degree spin into a 1/2 twist into a senton for the pin (or something very close to that.) A good match, but a little ragged (too many unconnected spots with no real flow. In Mexico matches like this often come off as too choreographed. They are generally much better in Japan: the flow is better. This was somewhere in between.) - Clips of the Ultimo Dragon, his eight lightweight title belts, and some of his opponents such as Rey Misterio Jr. and the Great Sasuke. The Dragon's goal is to win every lightweight title in the world. Of course, WCW's Cruiserweight Title is considered the greatest, even though it's not even a year old. - ULTIMO DRAGON (w/ Sonny Onoo) vs. DEAN MALENKO Comments from Rey Misterio Jr. are played. (I'm usually in favor of the guys doing interviews, Misterio is my one exception. Every time he opens his mouth he sounds like a nerdy, scared ten year old kid.) There's a woman near ringside who weighs 400 pounds at least. This was an okay match, but nowhere near good as the last. Ultimo puts Malenko into a double underhook suplex with a bridge, but Malenko kicks out. Mike Tenay, uncharacteristically distracted from calling the match, talks about Eric Bischoff and questions his motives in agreeing to the stipulations of the New World Order (mainly in giving them their own TV segments if they had won Wargames, which they then did.) Outside the ring, Dragon slams Malenko into the railing. Back in the ring he misses a moonsault and Malenko leisurely applies to Texas Cloverleaf. Sonny Onoo jumps up on the apron and Malenko drags him into the ring. Ultimo charges at Malenko. Malenko ducks and shoulders him over the ropes to the floor. The ref calls for the bell, even though this is clearly one of those cases where 49 out of 50 times they'd say it was the man's momentum that carried him out. Dumb finish, given the fact that the referee was Randy Anderson and not Nick Patrick. - Clips shown of the finish to last week's Harlem Heat/Amazing French Canadians match, and Sister Sherri slugging Col. Parker. - THE AMAZING FRENCH CANADIANS (w/ Col. Robert Parker) vs. AMERICAN MALES Col. Parker now dresses in a French Foreign Legion type outfit. The Males carry an American flag to the ring. The Canadians try to sing "Oh Canada" again. Pretty worthless match. Scotty Riggs knees Jacques Rougeau in the back. Rougeau had been standing over Marcus Bagwell, and the knee shot drives Rougeau into him. Carl Oulette rolls Rougeau onto Bagwell and Jacques gets the pin. Bagwell and Riggs argue after the match again. - Footage of WCW's new and improved web site. For those of you who still haven't found it, it's at www.WCWwrestling.com. - HUGH MORRUS vs. LEX LUGER Boy, Luger's really been fighting all the fatso's lately! Comments from Arn Anderson are played. Luger's one offensive maneuver of the match is a suplex, and the Torture Rack for the win. Mean Gene Okerlund comes into the ring for an interview. the usual, until Sting arrives from out of the crowd carrying a baseball bat. The two stare down. Sting then floats the tip of the bat over Luger's pecs, taps his chin, then with two hands lightly jams it against Luger's sternum. Sting then turns the bat around, hands the skinny end to Luger, turns his back and walks out. I read this to mean that Sting could take Luger out any time if he wanted, but hasn't and is therefore still loyal to Luger, if not WCW. Who can say though. HOUR TWO: Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mike Tenay. - Clip from WCW Saturday Night of Chris jericho challenging Nick Patrick to a match with one arm tied behind Jericho's back. Actually, Teddy Long says Jericho could take Patrick with one arm tied behind his back, Patrick and his lawyer Alan Sharpe takes that as a challenge, and Jericho goes along with it. (Don't rule out a future betrayal here.) - JOHNNY GRUNGE vs. CHRIS JERICHO Nick Patrick watches the match from the entryway (dressed in NWO black, coincidentally.) Grunge does well enough for himself, bringing a chair into the ring at one point and clotheslining Jericho while seated on it. He then drags in a table, lays Jericho on it and goes off the top carrying the chair. Jericho moves and Grunge misses, going through the table (boy, have these spots lost their appeal.) Jericho then goes up top, lands a dropkick and covers for the pin. After the match he does an interview. Teddy Long comes out and apologizes for getting Jericho into the Patrick handicap match (and thus pointing out that this was all Long's doing. *Hint* *Hint*) Jericho says he doesn't mind, since it was the only way he could get Patrick into the ring. - The NWO (Hulk Hogan, Ted DiBiase, Vincent and Miss Elizabeth) come out and harrass Eric Bischoff. The Brain takes a powder. Hogan forces Bischoff to say that he (Hogan) is the greatest of all time, etc., etc. - Mean Gene interviews Diamond Dallas Page. Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Syxx and The Giant come out again. They play another round of "if you don't get it, you don't get it!" The Giant suggests they just whack him like they do to Hogan's friends. Nash tells the Giant the he doesn't get it either, and that something that's coming up later in the night is "gonna be beautiful!" - JEFF JARRETT vs. BOBBY EATON Didn't these two just fight a few weeks ago? Jarrett has a much easier time of it this time around, quickly slapping on the figure four for the win. Ric Flair comes out (wearing a sling on his left arm) and does the strut with Jarrett. He then tells Steve McMichael and Chris Benoit-the other Horsemen-that Jarret is now officially a part of the group. "He's in because I say he's in!" - BIG BUBBA (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. JIM POWERS Squash. Bubba wins quickly with the Sidewalk Slam. - CHRIS BENOIT (w/ Woman) vs. EDDY GUERRERO A rematch from a few weeks ago. So-so match, with a commercial break killing a lot of the momentum (despite the announcer's claims to the contrary.) Mostly down on the mat, back and forth wrestling. Comments from Kevin Sullivan are played. Goes in and out of the ring, with Woman trying to get involved. End comes when Guerrero nails Benoit with a huracarana, but Benoit rolls through it and hooks Guerrero for the surprise pin (since Guerrero clearly had had the momentum of the match on his side.) Fair enough match, I guess, but I'm still wondering what happened to Guerrero's push. I'd like to see these two get a shot to go at it on PPV, like Benoit and Malenko at Hog Wild. - Eric Bischoff is in the ring telling the crowd that the rumors that "Rowdy" Roddy Piper would be there were apparently false (they were hyping an appearance by Piper all night.) Bischoff says he's hopeful that he can sign Piper to fight Hogan, but that Piper's management team has been difficult to negotiate with. Cue the sound of bagpipes and out comes Piper. Bischoff does a very, VERY, OH SO VERY poor job of acting like he's surprised and afraid. Piper comes to the ring with a microphone. "I haven't heard so many lies 'less I was tellin' them!" He speaks of his ties to the Charlotte area (his first son was born at the Baptist hospital.) "How ya doing?!" Piper asks. "I've been better." Bischoff stage mumbles in reply. Piper confronts him about his trip to Portland. "How did you fly, first class or coach? What airline? You said you've been to my ranch... tell me, is the road to it straight or is the road crooked?" Bischoff shrinks away, cowering against the ropes. "I, I don't remember!" He calls Bischoff a "lying piece of sh*t!" (Which they bleeped from the replay. Dang it, that's the one I taped!) Enter the NWO, and a whole lotta security guards. Hall, Nash and The Giant grab Piper. Hogan goes over and embraces Bischoff. Doug Dellinger and the security guards hold Piper and his NWO captors away from Hogan. Hogan says over the mic that Piper is a coward for not signing a contract to wrestle, and that things are pretty much in place now that the man calling the shots has been revealed. Bischoff bows to Hogan. Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay are speechless. Bischoff and the NWO leave as security holds Piper back. Piper gets in the last word, calling out to "baldy," kissing his hand then slapping his own backside. Piper says he'll be at the World War 3 PPV with a contract to wrestle Hogan and it's up to Hogan to be man enough to accept the match. - Next week's main event: None announced. Comments: Started off hot, cooled off in the middle, then picked up steam towards the end. Bischoff's turn is by no means a drop-dead surprise, but they had seemed to stop dropping hints about it some time back. I'm curious as to how they'll explain Nash's powerbombing him through the table back at the Great American Bash. Will they say the NWO was Bischoff's idea all along, or the more logical explanation that he jumped ship following that attack. Does he think "if you can't beat them, join them" or did he just sell out to Ted DiBiase's millions? What about Ted Turner's millions? As I said, I wasn't completely surprised. I am curious to see how they explain all this, and what WCW will do in the aftermath. Hopefully they won't do like the WWF did with Jim Ross and just make Bischoff a pro-NWO announcer with no other connection to the group. I think this puts the kibosh on any notion of Sting joining the NWO also, as that'd be just too much. Bottom line: Not much more I can add, except to say that both shows were good, and that both WCW and the WWF seem to be spicing things up for the end of the year. This week's winner: Nitro. That makes twenty-eight. JRP