[RESULTS/OPINION]Monday Night RAW/Monday Nitro (5/6)

Monday Nitro: Live.

 - RANDY SAVAGE vs. HUGH MORRUS
   Bischoff reminds us that Savage is a loose cannon. Morrus takes over
   early, but kills his own momentum by stopping to put on Savage's hat,
   shades, and jacket. Savage goes berzerk and clobbers Morrus, smashing the
   sunglasses against Hugh's head, then choking him with the jacket. The ref
   calls for the bell and DQ's Savage. Savage then slaps the ref, bodyslams
   him, and (despite the protestations of a second ref) nails Nick Patrick
   with the Elbowdrop. (Heh heh... ) Bischoff decries this the most heinous
   act ever, while the crowd cheers their approval. Savage is eventually
   escorted from the ring by Doug Dellinger, 3 refs, and 4 Florida State
   Troopers. No handcuffs this time.

 - Eric Bischoff, the lowlife that he is, goes and ruins his image by
   mentioning the passing of Ray Stevens. The Stevens family asks that 
   donations be sent to the following:

             Cauliflower Alley Club. Phone # (213)466-1021.

   This was a nice gesture on the part of Bischoff and WCW, and I'll be the
   first to say so. Now only if they'd do something so I can go back to
   hating them...

 - DEAN MALENKO vs. JUSHIN "THUNDER" LIGER (w/ Sonny Onoo)
   Yup! Good, high quality Cruiserweight match, which meant WCW blows it by
   a) showing a splitscreen shot of Ric Flair and his gals sipping champagne,
   and b) taking a commercial break. Upon returning from the break, we're
   treated to several more moments of Flair and Co. (no split screen) until
   they finally remember there's a match going on in the ring. What we do get
   to see was pretty good, though. Malenko works on Liger's leg, preparing
   for some kind of submission hold. Liger escapes, and they go back and forth
   a bit until Liger gets Malenko up on the corner turnbuckles. Liger tries 
   a suplex, Malenko blocks, and Liger dropkicks him, sending Malenko to the
   floor. Liger then nails the dive off the top turnbuckle to the floor. Back
   into the ring and both go at it some more until Liger tries another top
   turnbuckle move. Malenko goes up backwards and catches Liger, places him 
   across his shoulders, and hits a Gutbuster off the turnbuckles (Liger
   is thrown up, over Malenko's head, and lands stomach first across Malenko's
   knee. Malenko then finishes him off with a Tigerbomb and the pin.

 - Mean Gene interviews Flair, Woman and Liz. Nothing new is said, but Flair
   gives a glass of his champagne to Steve McMichael's wife, who pours it out.
   Flair was wearing a tux. I couldn't tell if Liz was wearing go-go boots
   this time around or not.

 - STING vs. "LORD" STEVEN REGAL (w/ Geeves)
   An okay match. Both guys worked the crowd well and Regal's just such a hoot
   to watch. An even, back and forth match, with Sting getting the pin as
   follows: Regal had Sting bent over and was holding him like he was going
   to do a piledriver or powerbomb (I'm not sure whether he bent Sting over,
   or if Sting had ducked under a move and grabbed Regal's arms.) Sting took
   Regal up and over, bridged, and held onto Regal's arms, trapping him flat
   on the mat for the pin.

 - THE GIANT (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. LEX LUGER
   Lex, like Saturday Night, hasn't shown up. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan takes his
   place and is promptly mauled by the Giant. Duggan tries some puches, which
   have little effect. The Giant Buttsmashes Duggan against the turnbuckles.
   Jigsaw Jim then pulls out his roll of tape and tries to wrap his fist, but
   The Giant nails the chokeslam and the pin. The Giant chokeslams him again,
   which brings out the scrubs from the lockerroom for the save (attempt.)
   First out is Cobra, who recieves a chokeslam for his effort. Then out
   (and down) is one of the Cuban Assassins (Fidel?) He is quickly followed
   by Alex Wright, who bounces real well. Then comes Ric Flair carrying a
   Dusty Rhodes(tm) brand "Clubberin' Wooden Chair," which Flair shatters
   over The Giant's head. The Giant is unamused. Finally Sting comes in and
   nails a shot off the top rope, then goes after The Giant's knee. Sting too
   falls victim to the power of The Giant, but is saved by the arrival of Lex,
   wearing a Bushwhacker's outfit and carrying I.R.S.'s silver briefcase. The
   two squabble a bit until Mean Gene signs off as they're "out of time."

   Then "Thunder in Paradise" starts. It's only about the 6th time that this
   particular episode has run, which explains why Nitro ended a minute early. 
   Nitro itself jobbed to Hogan this week. Next week he's going to challenge
   "E.R."

 - Next week's main event: ?

Comments: A better show than usual. With the absence of Hogan, WCW is slowly
achieving 2-Dimensionality. Give 'em another 5 years, and they'll be just
like New Japan!


Monday Night RAW: Taped 4/29.

 - The WWF honors the memory of Ray "The Crippler" Stevens. A few clips of
   him are shown. 1935 - 1996.

 - The sillhouette of an "Ex-wife of a professional wrestler" is shown
   saying how Shawn Michaels destroyed her marriage. She looked an awful
   lot like Elizabeth (but curiously enough, sounded like Rosie Odonnell.)

 - Shawn being put through the announcer's table at In Your House has been
   added to the intro.

 - "WILDMAN" MARC MERO (w/ Sable) vs. The 1-2-3 Kid (w/ Ted DiBiase)
   Hunter Hearst Helmsley comes to ringside to deliver color commentary. (He
   sucks at this, by the way.) The Kid uses his assortment of spin kicks
   while Mero actually does stuff. Like moves. The Kid is wearing a moustache
   and goatee, meaning he's more evil now than before. Before long Mero has
   the kid down and is readying a move off the top turnbuckle, but HHH pulls
   on Mero's foot. Mero drops, the kid moves in for a suplex off the turnbuckle,
   but Mero shifts, lands on top of the kid, and gets the pin.

 - Recap of Savio Vega's challenge to Steve Austin. A clip is shown (from
   "Superstars") of Ted DiBase accepting the challenge of a Carribbean Strap
   Match, adding the stipulation that if Savio loses, he must be Ted's chaf-,
   chaeuf-, chaueff-... ummm, driver.

 - THE BRITISH BULLDOG (w/ Jim Cornette & Diana) vs. FATASS err... FATU
   To take our minds off just how bad this match is going to be, they show
   a video (sent in anonymously) of the ex-wife of a former wrestler. She
   is sillhouetted, so we can't tell who she is (but can tell who she's
   supposed to be.) Every time she says her husband's name, it's distorted.
   She basically says Shawn Michaels seduced her, beat her husband, and
   destroyed their marriage. Vince makes a remark about the tapes authenticity,
   and how the producers of RAW would stoop to any lengths to gain ratings.
   (Insert own joke here.)

   At first Fatu no-sells everything the Bulldog does (doing his little jig
   after each shot.) The Bulldog meanwhile reacts like he's being killed.
   Then some magical switch is thrown and the Bulldog becomes invincible while
   Fatu couldn't gain the upper hand even if his last name was Bollea. Fatu's
   "family" show up at ringside to watch the match. (Samu and someone that
   looks like Savio Vega's brother - Chevy?) The Bulldog nails his patented
   running Powerslam for the pin. On the way out of the ring, Fatu's family
   confront him. "The WWF is my family" says Fatu. Throughout the match, 
   Harvey Whippleman is shown at ringside with a clipboard taking notes on
   the efficency of the WWF officiating. I smell an angle here. A new 
   "troubleshooting" referee? (Sgt. Slaughter isn't doing anythinmg these
   days.)

 - TECHNO TEAM 2000 vs. THE BODYDONNAS (w/ Sunny)
   Troy and Travis, the team who's so bad they had to come from the future,
   are back! The New Rockers are shown watching the match and they deliver
   comments. Leif Cassidy looks happy to be employed, while Marty Jannetty
   has a look like he wishes Al wasn't the only "Snow" in the room. (Think
   about it.)

   TT2K aren't all that bad actually. I can't remember which is Eric Watts
   and which is Chad Fortune, but it doesn't really matter as they quickly
   lose. Dr. Zip nails an axehandle/buttsplash off the top rope, then stump
   pulls the leg for the pin.

 - Cornette and Vader are interviewed by Jim Ross in the lockerroom Re: the
   return of Yokozuna at the next In Your House.

 - THE UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. OWEN HART (w/ Jim Cornette)
   Out comes Goldust to deliver color commentary. Goldust makes advances
   towards McMahon. (Insert own joke here.) McMahon tells Goldust that his
   match with the Undertaker at the next IYH will be a Casket Match. Goldust
   reverts to his Dustin voice and goes nuts. "No no no no no!" he yells.
   "I'm not getting in any coffin... Marlena - what's this all about?!"
   He then tries to take off, but the lights dim and out comes the Undertaker.
   Goldust resumes his seat to watch the match, switching back and forth
   between being aroused by the Undertaker's manliness, and being scared by
   his dark side. Owen meanwhile is manhandled by the Undertaker. Goldust
   heads over towards Paul Bearer and puts the moves on him. Bearer holds up
   until Goldy starts to unbutton Paul's shirt. Bearer heads for the hills.
   Owen has the upper hand for a brief while until he tries a Sharpshooter.
   The UT grabs Owen's throat, then throws Owen out the ring. Goldust comes
   over to help Owen back in by slipping a hand between Owen's cheeks (for
   better leverage.) Owen pulls away, yells at Goldust, is grabbed from
   behind by the Undertaker, pulled back into the ring, and Tombstoned. The
   Undertaker then turns his attention towards Goldust, who backs away from
   the ring and straight into a golden coffin being wheeled out by Paul 
   Bearer. The coffin has Goldust's name in a star on the lid.

 - Next week's main event: Shawn Michaels vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

Comments: Better than last week's, but that's about all.


Bottom line: Nitro seems to be cutting loose a bit in the absence of Hogan,
whereas the WWF is back into a holding pattern until everyon gets healthy
and they begin to gear up for King of the Ring.

This week's winner: Nitro.


JRP