[RESULTS/OPINION]Monday Night RAW/Monday Nitro (4/29)

(Tonight Nitro started early at 6:00 PM central time, and will do so for
the duration of the NBA playoffs on TNT. RAW started at it's new usual time
of 7:57 PM central time.)

Monday Nitro: Taped 4/22.

 - STING/LEX LUGER vs. HARLEM HEAT
   Sting and Luger dominated for most of the match, with the Heat getting
   in only one offensive series. Late in the match, Luger was down (and
   seemingly out) when Jimmy Hart showed up and tried to throw the towel
   into the ring. One of the heat caught it and according to the announcers,
   this prevented it from counting. While distracted by Hart, Sting rolls
   up one of the Heat for the pin. 

   Does any of that make sense? Was Hart trying to help Luger? Wouldn't the
   thrown towel constitute a submission, thus a loss of title? If so, why
   didn't the Heat let it hit the mat - they'd have won the straps! Only a
   so-so match - very typical work from Sting and Luger - next to nothing 
   from the Heat. I still have a problem respecting Luger and Sting because
   I'm still waiting for the eventual breakup and feud (the other shoe to
   drop, as it were.)

 - THE STEINER BROTHERS vs. SCOTT NORTON/ICETRAIN
   If you like seeing thick, heavy guys throwing each other around, then 
   this match was for you. Rick pins the Icetrain after a lot of clotheslines
   and such.

 - Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair, Woman, and Liz. No different than the
   last 50 Flair interviews (except that this one was about the Giant 
   instead of Savage - though Flair still talked about Savage.)

   When WCW went to break, they ran some kind of a new promo: A fancy
   computer generated sequence with something that looked a lot like the
   stellar portal in the movie "Stargate." "The World Is About To Change"
   and something about blood running cold, then "Coming To WCW." I don't
   have a clue what it meant.

 - "LORD" STEVEN REGAL vs. THE BELFAST BRUISER
   Katie bar the door... it's a pier six brawl! This was pretty good. The 
   "match" took place out in the parking lot in a cordoned off area with
   four vehicles surrounding the wrestlers, their lights shining towards the
   center of the circle. The two of them then proceeded to batter each other
   (and all four vehicles.) Three windows were broken. The front bumper of
   a pickup was torn off (pre-rigged presumably) and used. Both men were 
   pretty well scratched up and slightly bloodied. The Bruiser choked Regal
   with a seatbelt. Both brawled in the back of a pickup. They slammed each
   other on the hoods of most the autos (two pickups, a blazer, and a 
   station wagon.) Both climbed on the hood of the wagon. Bruiser back body-
   dropped Regal onto the roof, then Regal piledrove the Bruiser on the 
   roof. The Bruiser slumped to the hood, and Regal covered for the pin. 
   Afterwards, the Bruiser threw the chrome bumper through one of the wagon's
   windows (the third one to break.)
    
 - RIC FLAIR (w/ Woman & Liz) vs. THE GIANT (w/ Jimmy Hart)
   In what was one of the shortest and lamest World Title changes ever, the
   Giant did indeed win the Heavyweight Championship. It went something like
   this:

   Flair runs around.
   Giant corners Flair.
   Flair lands a low blow.
   Giant hits the mat.
   Flair applies Figure Four Leglock.
   Giant sits up.
   Flair releases hold - both stand up.
   Giant chokeslams Flair.
   Flair acts dead.
   Giant gets the pin. 1(J) - 2(O) - 3(B)

   Woman and Elizabeth, who have interfered in every Flair match this year,
   do nothing (well... Woman was screetching a bit.) No coffee, no shoes, no
   handcuffs, no Arn Anderson, no Chris Benoit, no nothing. Maybe I shouldn't
   complain but darn it - wouldn't this have been an excellent time to cheat?
   They've done so the last four months, why stop now? (It all happened too
   fast... yeah... that's it!) Flair stopped to annoy Steve McMichael's wife
   on the way to the ring again before the match.

   Mean Gene interviews the new champ, who garbles out something about being
   a fighting champion.

 - Next week's main event: Dunno.

Comments: No Hogan again. This was the first week where his spectre didn't
seem to be haunting the show though. They announced the Giant will be
defending the title at Slamboree against Sting. With Luger in the Battlebowl
Lethal Lottery, I assume this means the Tag Team Titles will go undefended
at yet another pay-per-view. Rumor has it that Sting will do the job for the
Giant. Following that, we seem to have these scenarios:

   1. Savage wins Battlebowl - defeats Giant at next PPV - eventually loses
      title to Hogan at Halloween Havoc in Las Vegas - Flair feuds with Steve
      McMichael.

   2. Flair wins Battlebowl - defeats Giant at next PPV - loses belt to Randy
      at PPV after that - Savage loses title to Hogan in Vegas - Flair feuds
      with McMichael.
 
   3. Savage wins Battlebowl - Flair wins title prior to next PPV - Savage 
      wins title at next PPV - loses to Hogan - Flair vs. McMichael.

The givens seem to be that Savage and Hogan will meet at Halloween Havoc,
that Hogan will eventually win the belt back from someone, and that Flair
will feud with McMichael eventually. This is all assuming that the rumors of
the last few months are true. Just musing... peering into the crystal ball.


Monday Night RAW: Live.

 - Clips of the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels confrontation at In Your
   House the previous night. More on that later.

 - MANKIND vs. BART GUNN
   Both wrestlers slam each other into the corner a lot. Mankind eventually
   sticks his fingers down Bart's throat and earns the submission win. After
   the match, Jim Ross tries to interview Bart in the backstage area, but
   Mankind runs in and attacks Bart; sticking the fingers in the mouth again.

 - "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. SCOTT TAYLOR
   Savio Vega comes to the announcer's table to issue a challenge to Austin.
   Savio wants a "Carribbean Strap Match." Austin sends the ham and egger to
   la-la land with the Million Dollar Dream. Savio grabs the house mic and
   issues the challenge, which Ted and Steve turn down. Savio enters the 
   ring and whips Austin, who had turned his back to leave. Expect these two
   to meet at next month's In Your House.

 - Vince McMahon interviews Jim Cornette, The British Bulldog, Diana Smith,
   and Shawn Michaels. Cornette makes the claim that Shawn lured Diana (the
   British Bulldog's wife) to the backstage area during IYH and tried to
   molest her. Cornette has footage shown of an usher or WWF official giving
   Diana a message from Cornette (but really from Shawn) and that once she
   reached the back, there was Shawn waiting to accost her. Cornette calls
   Shawn all kinds of names (such as "fornucator.") McMahon asks if Diana
   has anything to say. She tells Shawn "I know you want me!" Shawn tells 
   Diana "with all due respect... don't... flatter yourself!" Diana slaps
   Shawn, who then grabs the mic and says "I guess we all know who wears the
   pants in the Smith family!" The Bulldog then jumps Shawn and the two go
   at it as the show fades to commercial.

 - THE NEW ROCKERS vs. THE GODWINS (w/ Hillbilly Jim)
   The winner of this match gets a title shot against the Bodydonnas. A poor,
   long match capped off by Sunny eventually showing up at ringside and
   distracting both teams for a double countout. McMahon later mentions
   that Gorilla Monsoon has ordered a rematch for this weekend on Superstars.
   Sunny has a new black and gold cheerleader outfit.

 - Jim Ross interviews Mankind somewhere in the basement. Mankind explains
   that his submission hold involves a cluster of nerves under the tongue,
   and that any prolonged pressure there paralyzes a man. He then belittles
   the Undertaker.

 - THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR vs. DR. ISAAC YANKEM D.D.S.
   Lawler is in Yankem's corner. The Warrior runs to the ring, runs around
   the ring, runs back down the aisle, then returns to the ring. A quick
   commercial, a few clotheslines, a splash, and a pin, and the Warrior has
   dispatched the evil dentist. Lawler tries to enter the ring to show the
   Warrior "what for," but complains that the cable for his headset (which
   he wore during the match) is too short.

 - Next week's main event: Undertaker vs. Owen Hart (w/ Goldust delivering
   color commentary.) Marc Mero vs. 1-2-3 Kid.


Comments: One of the poorest live RAWs in recent memory. The Shawn/Bulldog
angle was the only thing of note, and even that was so out of left field
I haven't yet decided if I like it or not (though I do like the prospect of
a Michaels/Bulldog match.) One jobber match, and THREE jobber-to-the-stars
matches. The whole show felt more like it was the last taping of the previous
batch of RAWs. Hopefully they're saving the better stuff (though I hear the
WWF is once again hard hit with injuries. Vader and Goldust in particular.)
The WWF gave little in the way of IYH results, and showed maybe 30 seconds
total of clips. This is what little I know:

   * Mankind and the Undertaker may have been in a dark match.
   * Mero beat the 1-2-3 Kid on the Free For All.
   * The Bodydonnas beat the Godwins.
   * Owen & Bulldog beat Ahmed Johnson & Jake Roberts.
   * Vader beat Razor Ramon.
   * Ultimate Warrior beat Goldust via countout.
   * Michaels beat Diesel.
   

Bottom line: I'll be interested to see how the ratings shape up for tonight's
shows. Nitro ran unopposed, lead into the NBA game, and had a title change,
but was pretaped and started before the usual prime time viewing audience
usually tunes in. RAW ran unopposed, was live, was a post PPV show, and had
the Ultimate Warrior, but had to face both the NBA game and "The Beast" Part
Two on NBC.

This week's winner: Nitro (which had the best match of the night.)


JRP