[RESULTS/OPINION]Monday Night RAW/Monday Nitro (2/19) Monday Night RAW: Live. - In Your House Recap: Shawn Michaels beat Owen Hart with the Superkick; Bret Hart beat Diesel when the Undertaker came out of a hole in the ring and pulled Diesel under, allowing Bret to escape the cage; Razor Ramon pinned and diapered the 1-2-3 Kid; Yokozuna won over the British Bulldog by disqualification due to intereference by Vader; Hunter Hearst Helmsley knocked out Duke "The Dumpster" Droese with a trash can lid and got the pinfall. Jake The Snake beat Tatanka via DDT on the "Free For All." - GOLDUST (w/ Marlena) vs. RAZOR RAMON Has Rhodes lost a few pounds? He's starting to look slimmer, while Ramon is just starting to look bored. A not too bad match with a few good spots involving one man or the other throwing his opponent outside the ring, over the top rope, bumps like that. Goldust takes off and gets counted out before it could get too good, though. Ramon grabs the mic and demands that Piper sign a match between the two, anywhere, and that the title isn't important. Razor says he just doesn't want the little kids to see stuff like Goldust. (Of course he precedes all this by saying "Goldust... I don't want your belt... I want your ass!" Bad accent aside, isn't Goldust the wrong person to say something like that to?) Ramon says he wants a "date," presumably meaning a match and not what about half his speech implied, that being an actual date. This was poorly done, IMO. - THE BODYDONNAS (w/ Sunny) vs. ALDO MONTOYA/BARRY HOROWITZ Hey... what's Vader doing out there?! The Bodydonnas never show as Vader destroys the two jobbers. - The Ultimate Warrior: A near minute long montage of Warrior clips is shown. McMahon asks "What is Piper up to?" The inference is clear- the Warrior will soon return; probably at WrestleMania. I can just imagine the traffic on r.s.p-w doubling as I write this. This is as definite as one can get. They even started the clips with a new computer generated version of the old Warrior logo. They'll have to do some serious explaining this time around if he doesn't show, so one would have to assume he's at least inked a contract for one appearance (but who can ever say for certain?) - Mr. Bob Backlund is shown wandering amongst the crowd. I should note at this point that Lawler seemed to be coming down with laryngitis, so McMahon really had to carry the announcing for the entire show. - THE RINGMASTER (w/ Ted DiBiase) vs. MARTY JANNETTY McMahon mentions that Jannetty will soon have a new tag team partner, and that they will be called "The New Rockers." They will compete in the upcoming Tag Team Title tournament, the first match of which will feature The Bodydonnas vs. The Bushwhackers. Ouch! A decent match, but it's pretty much blown by a commercial break in the middle. Austin is really being put over as a technical master. I believed he used an STF, if I'm not mistaken, among other submission type holds. Ringmaster wins via the Million Dollar Dream. - Spooky Mankind promo. Cactus Jack is shown in what looks like a dungeon petting a rat. He's wearing a sort of medievel motiff. He gives a very ECW-esque monologue about how God has deformed him and forsaken him. He seems to be wearing some kind of mask (they never showed his face, but you could see the leather strap on top of his head.) I can see why he likes this gimmick. - UNDERTAKER (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. TATANKA (w/ Ted DiBiase) A boring, nothing, match. Underatker with the Tombstone Piledriver. What was of interest, however, was Diesel coming to ringside with an axe. He grabs a cameraman, then tows him backstage where he proceeds to demolish the Undertakers casket. 'Taker, after his pin, sees the replay on the monitors, and heads backstage. - Larry Fling Live with Billionaire Ted: Much like seeing your friend fall down and break his leg, you know you shouldn't laugh - but you do anyway. This was drop dead hilarious at points. As mean and vindictive as it was, one couldn't help but occasionally laugh. High points: Calls from Randy in Sarasota who has a hair loss problem. Terry from Tampa calls to ask if he can have next Monday off because he got hit in the eye with a woman's shoe. Jane from Hanoi calls to tell Ted that Sears called and that his suits are ready. As usual the bit runs too long and loses it's steam, ending with Ted feigning laryngitis to duck the tough questions. - Undertaker surveys what's left of his casket, while Paul Bearer vows revenge. - Next week's main event: Yokozuna vs. Bulldog, I think. Comments: Another really good RAW. Some good ring action, surprises, good interviews, entertaining angles all leading up to what could be an excellent WrestleMania. The card so far: * Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Title * Diesel vs. Undertaker * Yokozuna vs. Vader * Razor Ramon vs. Goldust for the Intercontinental Title (probably) * Possible final match in the Tag Team Title tourney * Possible return of the Ultimate Warrior * Nacho Man vs. The Huckster (I'm guessing this will be pre-taped) * Maybe the debut of Mankind Monday Nitro: Live. - HULK HOGAN vs. ARN ANDERSON (w/ Woman) Bischoff mentions the upcoming "Baywatch" with Hogan, Savage, Flair, Sullivan, and Vader, whom he publicly acknowledges for the first time as having lost a fight to paul Orndorff and leaving "with his tail tucked between his legs!" I thought he was AWOL? He also mentions an upcoming Cruiserweight Tournament and Title - six months too late for me to care. (My bet: Guerrero wins it.) Oh yeah, Arn wins after a not entirely awful match. Hogan has Arn in a Figure Four. Kevin Sullivan tries to interfere, but Savage blocks him. Ref sees Savage in ring and D.Q.'s Hogan. More on this later. - Mean Gene interviews Steve Grisssom, who's WCW race car won the Goody's 300 in Daytona. Not being a race face, I could give a damn. Even though I live less than 30 miles from a major race track, auto racing is still considered a hick sport in this part of the country. Then again, so is Wrasslin' so I digress. - ALEX WRIGHT vs. LOCH NESS (w/ Jimmy Hart) Explain to me the wisdom in having the skinniest wrestler on the planet facing the fattest wrestler on the planet? Squashville. Nessie wins with the Heavy Panting Chest Pain Causing Elbowdrop. Paint could dry in the it takes him to get off the mat. - BELFAST BRUISER vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG Armstrong, apparently forgiven for his past flirtation with marijuana (or was it cocaine? Steroids maybe?) is back in WCW. The Bruiser wins, but I'll be damned if I can remember how. I guess because he's the better wrestler (which says little, IMO.) The Bruiser has shown me nothing yet. - RANDY SAVAGE vs. RIC FLAIR (w/ Elizabeth & Woman) The usual. The ref, who keenly spotted Savage entering the ring in the first match, completely misses Arn Anderson DDT'ing Savage. Flair with yet another bullshit, legacy destroying pin. (At least he didn't use the shoe, though Woman did throw one in, but Savage caught it.) Things look bad for Savage, and the double or triple teamed Hogan, until the Bootyman arrives to clean house! The Bootyman?! Yes, the Bootyman. Brutus Friggin Beefcake, dressed pretty much like the Ultimate Warrior is again a face and part of the Mega Powers. Bischoff, McMichael, and Heenan all feign ignorance as to the identity of the newcomer, though he's clearly Brutus. (No makeup or anything.) The hatred between he and Hogan, which spawned the main event at Starrcade a few years back, is completely forgotten. Again, the usual ranting by Flair at the announcer's desk. Hogan arrives and starts yelling how the Bootyman will get the job done. (Side note: Apparently no one notified the closed captioning people about this guy, as they never to show the name "Bootyman." They insted call him "He" or "this guy.") - Next week's main event: Hogan/Savage/and Bootyman vs. Flair/Arn/Sullivan. Comments: What a load of crap! This was pathetic. Four matches: Two were squashes, two had screwy endings. Then this crap with Beefcake. I'm sure they'll try and clean it up this weekend, but this was crap. Crap I say! The mentioning of the Cruiserweight Division holds the merest glimmer of promise, but like everything else WCW does, it took them months too long to get on the ball. (Like the Beefcake face turn - what crap!) Bottom line: An occasional match aside, the WWF is far more realistic and interesting than WCW right now. WCW is a jumbled mix of multimedia hype, geriatric ego battles, preadolescent cartoon angles, and just plain shit. I've stood up for a lot of what WCW has tried over the last few months, but last night was a definite step backward, IMO. (And before anyone says "but what about the Undertaker coming out from the bottom of the ring at IYH!" At least the WWF is stealing interesting angles, not the malarkey WCW is passing off as "Where the Big Boys Play.") Damn... Nitro used to be cool. Now it's the same every week, except when they up the Crap Factor like they did last night. The sad thing is Nitro is the best thing WCW is doing right now (PPV's sometimes included.) This week's winner: RAW. Crap!