Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #277 March 5th, 2001 The Opening Word: Hearing that Jerry "The King" Lawler had left the WWF, I had the same uneasy feelings I did when I learned that Bret Hart, and later Vince Russo, were leaving the company. In both those cases my first thought was "does this have more impact on the WWF or WCW?" My second thought, this time as well as before, was to answer that question, "the WWF, of course." Whether Lawler goes to WCW or not is a far secondary issue to his actually leaving the WWF. As was the case with both Hart and Russo, Lawler going to WCW isn't going to do anything for that company. Bragging rights--sure, and their commentary will obviously improve, but his jump isn't going to turn that company around. For the WWF, though, this is a big blow. Like losing Vince Russo, it takes away from the WWF a component to their television product that cannot be easily replaced--certainly not overnight. Whether they choose a rookie like Tazz, or an over-the-hill veteran like Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, it's not going to adequately replace what has probably been the most successful commentary team ever (or at least since Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura). Jerry Lawler was one half of the voice of the World Wrestling Federation. He will remain that for an entire generation of wrestling fans. The WWF can and will overcome the loss of Lawler, but it will take time, and for many fans things in the WWF will never sound nor feel the same again. How Jerry Lawler left the WWF matters little. Why he left raises troubling questions--questions which have no answers right now, because none of us can look into the mind of Vince McMahon. McMahon fired Stacy "The Kat" Carter--Lawler's wife--knowing that doing so might cause Lawler to quit. He went ahead anyway, and Lawler did what had to be expected. That begs the question, did Vince McMahon want to get rid of the Kat ... or Jerry Lawler? Did Jerry Lawler call Vince McMahon's bluff, or did Vince McMahon get precisely what he wanted? It's that last question that has to be the most troubling to WWF fans. You have to feel sorry for the WWF if they made an honest mistake. But if they didn't, and what happened was what was supposed to happen, how should the fans feel? Bret Hart left the WWF with a tremendous wave of fan sympathy and support on his side. At that time the WWF was in second place behind WCW, and Bret Hart's announcement that he was leaving the company looked like it was going to make things even worse for the WWF. That upset a lot of WWF fans. But then came Montreal, and even those who understood why Vince McMahon screwed Bret Hart couldn't condone what happened. Hart went to WCW with most fans solidly behind him, and it's only the incredible ineptitude of WCW and a lot of luck on the WWF's behalf that things turned out the way they did. Two years later, many WWF fans felt betrayed when Vince Russo left the company. His departure caught the WWF off guard, and left them without a creative direction for several weeks. That, and the fact that he joined the WWF's "enemy", added insult to injury. Russo never got the fan support Hart had. Eventually the WWF got over the loss of Russo (some would say even improved because of it). Lawler leaving the WWF has the same impact Hart and Russo leaving did. Even though his decision could be seen as harmful to the WWF, thus far he has the support of many fans on his side, him leaving the company because he was standing by his wife, Stacy. Without knowing the WWF's true motives, that's not likely to change. (After all, it doesn't make much sense to hope Lawler changes his mind and goes back if the reality is Vince McMahon doesn't want him there.) It'll be interesting to see how, if at all, the WWF acknowledges Lawler's absence on RAW. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours. Location: Greenville, South Carolina. Hosted By: Tony Schiavone & Scott Hudson. HOUR ONE: - Rick Steiner is in the ring, running down Booker T, saying he always relied on his brother, and was nothing as a champion. Booker T comes out, followed by a referee, and the match is on. RICK STEINER vs. BOOKER T These two have fought like a million times, so for the several minutes the match lasts it's actually watchable. Scott Steiner eventually runs in for the DQ. Diamond Dallas Page runs out for the save, and a challenge is made for a tag team match. Have you ever noticed how often WCW tries to inflate their show's workrate by forcing their best wrestlers to do more than one match? - Schiavone says Ric Flair announced "earlier this week" (uh, yesterday?) that Dusty Rhodes would be facing Jeff Jarrett tonight. Oh, I hope WCW isn't just lying to us (not that I want to see Dusty Rhodes, mind you). Last Friday WCW announced on their website that Rhodes would face Jarrett. The problem was the deal actually fell through before the announcement was even posted, and they had to remove it shortly thereafter. - Who will be Elix Skipper's partner tonight? A commercial break is allowed to let us ponder that. Nothing like a break at the start of a quarter hour to kill the ratings. - Scott Hudson asks how much it cost Skipper to get a partner? Um, nothing? Weren't Kwee Wee and Mike Sanders forced by WCW to be a team last week? Skipper announces his partner is ... Kid Romeo. Eight or nine fans in the crowd go nuts. Romeo's entrance theme seems "inspired" by a Ricky Martin song. A.J. STYLES/AIR PARIS vs. ELIX SKIPPER/KID ROMEO Lots of trainwreck moves to the floor. Cruiserweight Champion Chavo Guerrero comes out to watch from the stage. Romeo gets the pin. He and Skipper advance to face the Jung Dragons. The winner of that match will be in the finals against either Billy Kidman & Rey Mysterio, Jr., or the winner of the other quarterfinal tournament match on Thunder. Sean O'Haire delivers an interview, staring off into space like Konnan and Dustin Rhodes last week. Chuck Palumbo, in the background, looks into the camera. Uh-oh. I expect him to be punished for that. - LEX LUGER vs. SEAN O'HAIRE Figure this one out: several minutes into the match Chuck Palumbo comes out and starts beating the hell out of Lex Luger. The referee just lets it go, instead laying the count on Luger for being on the floor. Buff Bagwell runs out and whacks O'Haire with a chair. O'Haire hadn't been doing much up to this point because they did a spot where he supposedly hurt his knee on a flip. The ref somehow misses Bagwell with the chair. Luger comes back in and O'Haire gets a two count with a roll-up. As if that wouldn't have been a cheap enough win, they go one better by having Bagwell accidentally hit Luger with the Buff Blockbuster. O'Haire covers for the cheap, worthless pin. Luger & Bagwell then leave him laying, just so the guy will have nothing whatsoever to brag about. But hey, Luger "did the job", right? RIGHT?! I give this company six months. - Fifteen minutes to RAW, a limo pulls up. Cut to inside--it's Kanyon and Shawn Stasiak. Shucks, I figured they were going to tease it was the King. Kanyon's got a camera crew and is going to see Miss Jones at the hospital. Limo driver M.I. Smooth moves around a lot in a desperate attempt to get us to notice him. - Chavo cuts a "do-not-look-into-the-camera" promo. Did somebody see something like that on MTV and think it looked cool? It's like those short interview clips you'd see on, I dunno, figure skating maybe, where the athlete looks to the right or left of the camera, like they're talking to an unseen interviewer. - Lance Storm badmouths Konnan, Konnan gets all "why don't you bring it?", only to be jumped by Mike Awesome. Chalk up a second quarter-hour rating killing commercial break. - JEFF JARRETT vs. DUSTY RHODES Jarrett comes to the ring first. They then play music for Dusty, but not the cheeseball music they had for him when Jarrett imitated him. Nevertheless, it's not Dusty Rhodes who comes out, but someone in a padded outfit and hideous rubber mask. It looks like an old, fat Ric Flair. For some reason Jarrett does the cartoonish Dusty Rhodes moves instead of the fake Rhodes. Jarrett beats up the fake Dusty, eventually pinning him. Dustin Rhodes then runs in to put a stop to it. Good lord, it is Ric Flair playing the fake Rhodes (not that it's really a surprise). HOUR TWO: Jarrett and Flair beat on Dustin until Dusty comes out (to the bad WWF copy music--go figure). Dusty rips on Jarrett, Jarrett's father, Flair, and maybe some other stuff--I started tuning him out after this stretched on way to long. Flair & Jarrett rush the ring, only to be repelled by the very same cartoonish offense they were just making fun of. The end result of all this is a challenge laid out for Dusty & Dustin vs. Flair & Jarrett at the PPV. Some angles, good or not, can only be done once. Seeing them do what was a repeat of the angle Jarrett did two weeks ago was lame (and I liked that angle the first time around). It's the same with that funeral angle they did. The first time some people liked it. The second time around, no one cared. - CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. vs. SHANE HELMS Helms has a new elaborate entrance with a bunch of girls doing a dance number as he comes out. Some nice action, but WCW's "new" Cruiserweight Division continues to evolve with shorter matches, weaker finishes and outside interference, this time a run-in by Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper. First they pull Helms off the apron, turning the tide of the match in Chavo's favor. Later they interfere when Helms rallies. The referee has to go to ridiculous lengths, paying attention to Romeo on the floor, to ignore Chavo and Elix doubleteaming Helms in the ring. Chavo pins Helms with a brainbuster. - Kanyon is in Miss Jones' "hospital room". I'm surprised that they'd have two cameramen in there to cover this when there's barely enough room for them in there. Imagine the "Powers That Be" set painted gray, with a hospital bed, curtain, and various medical props. That's our "hospital room". Miss Jones starts screaming when she sees Kanyon. Suddenly Ernest "The Cat" Miller springs out of the second bed shoehorned into the room. The two brawl, somehow managing to contain themselves in one corner of the room and not crashing into Miss Jones or the cameramen. Kanyon briefly comes out on top and goes back to menacing Miss Jones. The Cat attacks again. Someone gets hit with a bedpan. The Cat checks on Jones, only to be attacked again. All through this everyone is muttering stuff, the whole scene looking and sounding like a "Popeye" cartoon. The Cat zaps Kanyon's ass cheeks with defribulator paddles. Do I have to mention which WWF angle this is a sight-gag for sight-gag copy of? It's bad skits like this which destroy any positive moves WCW makes for itself. You could maybe just shrug it off as bad comedy, but that's only if it was original. If you're going to rip off such a memorable angle you should at least have the decency to do it well. - HUGH MORRUS vs. MIKE AWESOME Team Canada has only two members left, and the Misfits In Action have disbanded, yet their feud refuses to die. This entire match seems to consist of Awesome hitting Morrus with either clotheslines or shoulderblocks. Lance Storm runs in, but gets sent into the guard rail by Morrus. Awesome misses a splash off the top. Morrus hits a DDT and follows with No Laughing Matter, which misses so badly Morrus basically headbutts Awesome's stomach. Storm comes in after the pin and puts Morrus in the Canadian Mapleleaf until Konnan, dressed like a south Florida retiree, makes the save. Wasn't it just about two or three months ago that Konnan and the Filthy Animals were feuding with both Team Canada AND the MIA? - Rick & Scott Steiner come out, jaw on the mic for a bit, then they take another commercial break. - THE STEINER BROTHERS vs. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE/BOOKER T Solid, albeit unremarkable action. Late in the match Booker T and Scott Steiner brawl away from the ring. For a moment we see the action in the ring, then they cut backstage for like three seconds, where we see Booker T being attacked by Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, Animal and Jeff Jarrett. Back to the ring, DDP hits a Diamond Cutter out of nowhere and scores the pin. He escapes into the crowd as the Magnificent 7 hit the ring, and is just beginning to taunt Scott Steiner for being a moron when he's punched in the back of the head by Steiner, who has outsmarted him and cut him off! Nice. - This Wednesday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Typical Nitro. Flashes of solid in-ring action here and there, but overall ineptness makes the show hard to watch. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Washington, D.C. Hosted By: Jim Ross & ??? WWF RAW: - No "Bring Back The King" signs in the crowd (none that they're showing, anyway), so already I'm surprised. - JR's broadcast partner is ... Paul Heyman! Heyman reveals that last Tuesday the WWF released the Kat, and that her husband Jerry "The King" Lawler quit in protest. Spotting an opportunity, Paul Heyman has come to RAW to get extreme. Well, that's one way to put it. - The Game and Mrs. Game make their way to the ring. "You know, it's hard to be humble when you're as good as I am!" Heyman puts over that Triple H not only beat "Stone Cold" Steve Austin at No Way Out, he did so by beating him in two straight falls. Triple H says it's hard not to shove that fact down our throats. He then talks about the Rock, and how his match with Austin at WrestleMania is supposed to be a meeting between the two best wrestlers in the WWF. Triple H says that may be, but only when he himself takes part of that match. He says he's going to set that in motion tonight by removing one of those competitors, and calls out Steve Austin. Austin charges the ring. He and Triple H trade blows. Suddenly Austin is attacked by Kurt Angle, and in no time he and Triple H have the better of him. Out comes the Rock to even up the odds. Do you think Heyman ever wakes up in a cold sweat at night, knowing that of these four guys in the ring, he had one of them (Austin) in ECW, and another (Angle) might have signed had he not been offended by a Raven/Tommy Dreamer angle? I get all teary-eyed and goosebumpy watching that WrestleMania promo. - Kurt Angle is still in a rage at ringside. William Regal tries to calm him down by announcing that Vince McMahon has booked he and Triple H in a tag match against Austin and the Rock. Angle isn't at all pleased. Scotty Too Hotty & Grandmaster Sexay make their way to the ring for the next match, scheduled to be against X-Pac & Justin Credible. Angle, still in the ring, nails Scotty, then dumps Grandmaster Sexay out of the ring. Angle goes after Scotty's ankle, twisting it. The ring fills with EMT's. Scotty is left laying with his foot twisted at an odd angle, the announcers selling it like it had been broken. As they quickly cut away I half expected Heyman to say something about not exploiting gruesome injuries for TV ratings. - Another look at Scotty's "broken" ankle. Injuries in wrestling are funny. WCW used a real injury of Sid's to continue an angle that began when Scott Steiner legitimately hurt Booker T. Now the WWF uses a similar injury, this time faked, to explain an absence necessitated by Scotty having a real neck injury. (You think it's easy keeping track of all this stuff?) - Earlier Today, Vince McMahon gave the Radicalz the right to choose one of their own to get a shot at Chris Jericho's Intercontinental Title. Dean Malenko would like the shot, but Perry Saturn says Malenko already has a title. Chris Benoit says whoever gets it should be the one who deserves it the most. Eddie Guerrero says that should be Benoit, because he's their leader. Benoit says Eddie deserves it, because Jericho injured Guerrero a few months ago. Back live, Benoit joins the announce team. - CHRIS JERICHO vs. EDDIE GUERRERO Benoit resists all attempts by Ross and Heyman to get him to comment. They play it up that he hates Jericho so much he's speechless. Good back-and-forth action, leading to a ref bump. Eddie tries a Frog Splash but misses. Benoit then scrambles to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a flying headbutt ... onto Guerrero! Pin by Jericho. Malenko & Saturn come out, flash Benoit dirty looks, and go in to help Eddie. The way this is playing out I don't think anyone will be able to turn babyface when the split happens. Matt & Jeff Hardy are going over some strategy when Lita comes in. Matt says they have to go with Lita to the ring. Jeff says okay. Matt, he's p-whipped, while Jeff is p-whipped by association. - Earlier Today, Al Snow and some little people campaigned for commissioner of the WWF. - LITA (w/ the Hardy Boyz) vs. IVORY (w/ Right To Censor) A few minutes in the action spills to the floor, Lita hitting a crossbody from the top turnbuckle. All the men at ringside then get into it. Jeff Hardy runs the guard barrier and leaps at Val Venis, but Venis ducks, and Jeff wipes out Lita instead. Lita is rolled back into the ring and Ivory covers for the pin. Matt chews out Jeff for costing Lita the match. Kevin Kelly gets comments from Kurt Angle. The Undertaker & Kane ... NEXT! - KANE/THE UNDERTAKER vs. RIKISHI/HAKU I'm beginning to suspect Limp Bizkit will be appearing at WrestleMania. My young nephew Brock says the Undertaker is the best because he has a motorcycle. How can I argue with that? The Taker wrestles pretty much the entire match, with a late clothesline by Kane to Rikishi allowing Undertaker to chokeslam Haku for the win. Dat dere be da end a dat feud. Trish Stratus arrives--promises to dish the dirt on Vince McMahon. WWF WAR ZONE: - Trish makes her way to the ring. Heyman says next to Rikishi, Trish has the best ass in the WWF. When JR reacts with surprise, Heyman asks what is he supposed to do, start screaming about puppies? Trish says she was humiliated last week, as clips are shown. Trish calls Vince McMahon out. Vince comes out. Trish says she has two words for Vince: "I'M SORRY!" Trish says she'll do anything to prove she's sorry. Vince tells her to get on all fours and bark like a dog. She does. The crowd knows better but can't help itself, and starts cheering Vince on. Vince is strutting like George Jefferson! Vince says he's seen her in positions we fans haven't, and says she should take her clothes off. Off comes the coat! This is sleazy. He tells Trish to take her top off. She does. The crowd is going nuts. Vince says he's now wondering what color her panties are, and tells Trish to take her skirt off. She does. Thong, thong-thong-thong thong! The fans are going berserk. Heyman: "I came to D.C. and now I'm going to see Bush!" Vince orders Trish to take her bra off, and he warns the crowd and anyone at home who doesn't want to see that to turn away. This crowd is positively EVIL. Trish gets the bra undone in the back, when Vince changes his mind and says he's seen enough. He covers her with his coat. The crowd chants "asshole!" Vince wraps up saying with this being Washington, many of the people in the crowd work for the government, meaning they come as close to prostituting themselves as Trish just did. Wild stuff. A few years ago this would have caused sponsors to leave and Vince to be burned in effigy on the Oprah Winfrey show. Now, Phil Mushnick will probably be the only one to work up enough energy to complain. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. The Rock. Limp Bizkit's "My Way". WrestleMania X-Seven. This is one of the coolest PPV promos ever. - THE HARDY BOYZ (w/ Lita) vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ Slow action to start, as the announcers talk up the Dudleys' past in ECW. JR says D-Von and Buh-Buh Ray are allegedly brothers. Heyman asks what he means "allegedly"? Ross says maybe that's some propaganda spread by Heyman. Heyman tells Ross to drink some of his Kool Aid. That's funny stuff, but probably too inside for most. Jeff Hardy spends much of the match in. He tags in Matt the same time D-Von is tagged in. Quick tag to Buh-Buh. Matt goes for a pin but only gets a two count. Moments later Jeff misses a Swanton Bomb. Buh-Buh then lines him up, and the crowd starts chanting for the 3-D, but Buh-Buh bodyslams him instead. Whazzup headbutt to the nuts. It's time for tables! D-Von starts pulling one from under the ring, only to be attacked from behind by Christian. Rolled in, D-Von falls victim to a Twist of fate, and Matt Hardy covers for the 1 ... 2 ... 3! New Tag Team Champions! Didn't see that one coming. Buh-Buh stares daggers at the celebrating Hardyz. You can tell Vince likes it when Regal says "buxom wench". Al Snow and his midgets barge in. Vince says he'll consider making Snow the commissioner if he competes tonight, in a match, against the Big Show for the Hardcore Title. - Are all these "Classic WrestleMania Moments" going to feature Shawn Michaels? - Stephanie McMahon has the newly-subservient Trish fetch her a cup of coffee. Not just any coffee, mind you, but a special order from the coffee house down the road. - Is the crowd chanting "Jerry! Jerry!"? - Christian dials down the center (1-800-CALL-ATT) and calls Edge. - Now it's the turn of Debra to intrude upon Mr. McMahon and Regal. Debra says she's decided to resign as lt. commissioner (yay!) and go back to managing. Openness being the theme of this show, Vince points out that the ring on her finger means she's married to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Vince doesn't want her to be a manager if Austin isn't okay with it. Debra says she thinks he is, but will check with him to be sure. Vince takes a long look as she leaves. - There's the Bug Show. - Debra asks Austin if it's alright if she goes back to managing. He's upset that she's been talking to McMahon, and asks to talk about this later. That was a lot of not-wrestling segments strung together. - AL SNOW vs. THE BIG SHOW Snow retrieves a stick from under the ring, then runs back alongside the ramp and hides underneath. Ross notes that there can't be any monitors backstage for that to work. Big Show comes out wearing the Hardcore Title belt around his bicep! Snow attacks, but Show no-sells it and breaks the stick. Snow grabs a chair. Big Show punches the chair, knocking Snow into the crowd. The brawl continues around the ring. Snow grabs a camera and smashes it against the Big Show. Lest we think it was fake camera, they show a replay shot from the camera's perspective. Snow starts throwing chairs into the ring, and Ross asks if this match was underwritten by Home Depot? Big Show throws the ring steps into the ring. He hoists them over his head and goes after Snow, but Snow hits them with a chair, knocking them back into the Show's head. Snow covers for a pin, but Big Show kicks out. Snow then sets up four pairs of chairs lined up, but whatever he's planning backfires, as Big Show scoops Snow up and slams him onto the chairs. Elbowdrop, and Big Show gets the pin. Debra assures Vince that Stone Cold has no problem with her being a manager. - First Kurt Angle, then Triple H & Stephanie hit the ring. Then Vince comes out. He brings out Debra. Vince reveals to Debra that starting tonight she will be managing ... the Rock! Insidious. What, another commercial?! - KURT ANGLE/TRIPLE H (w/ Stephanie) vs. THE ROCK/STEVE AUSTIN Is it any surprise that this is the best match of either show tonight? Late in the match the Rock hits Angle with the Rock Bottom and covers for the pin. Triple H breaks it up. Austin dumps Triple H to the floor. Angle then goes for the Rock's ankle, and the crowd reacts because that move has been given credibility. Austin kicks Angle, and puts him away with the Stone Cold Stunner. Cover, but no ref--he's tied up with Debra on the apron. Austin goes over to ask what the hell. The Rock covers Angle. The ref sees it, and drops to count the three. Austin gives his wife a funny look as she applauds the Rock's win. So is Austin Randy Savage or Hulk Hogan in this scenario? - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: But what about Trish and the coffee? People are going to complain and claim to be offended by the Trish angle and that's fine. I'd probably have been turned off too if I wasn't so damned entertained by the Bizarro World crowd reaction. I think Vince must have been listening to that Eminem song and decided "this is what they all say wrestling is, and that's who wrestling fans are, so let's do an angle giving them that." I'm not going to defend it, but it's not like there's a real world out there waiting to judge wrestling fans if they don't come out and publicly decry this, so some folks out there might just as well relax. You're not scoring points with anyone. A really hot show, with a few too many backstage segments and no real great match keeping it from being one of the more memorable ones. I think a lot of people are going to focus on the Trish angle and otherwise overlook what a solid show this was. Paul Heyman did okay. Not great, but no really embarrassing moments either. I liked the occasional shots he'd take at TNN regarding ECW. Let's give this thing a few more weeks (we don't even know yet if this is a permanent decision) and see how it works out. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: I'd be really surprised to see Jerry Lawler go to WCW at this point. He has to know the problems they're having, and how they may well be out of business soon. Better to stay at home, make his point, and try to go back to the WWF some day, than go to WCW for a quick check and a cheap pop, killing any chance of ever going back to the WWF. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2001 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 277 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 5th, 2001.