Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #275 February 19th, 2001 The Opening Word: There's not much to comment on this week. The XFL is in a ratings tailspin; SuperBrawl was a well-reviewed PPV that 99% of wrestling fans didn't see; everyone is overreacting to the Ross Report ... I think that about covers it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours. Location: Huntsville, Alabama. Hosted By: Tony Schiavone & Scott Hudson. HOUR ONE: - Clips are shown from the PPV. This is followed by footage of Kevin Nash leaving the arena. - Live, the show begins with another funeral, this time for Kevin Nash's career. Black-suited nobodies carry a casket to the ring. Let me just pause for a moment and ask what exactly are Ric Flair's motives in destroying WCW? He, through Scott Steiner and the Magnificent Seven, has driven away Sting, Booker T, Goldberg, Sid and Kevin Nash. Why? Why all the injuries and screwy match stipulations? Flair is CEO--he can just fire people he doesn't like. When are we going to get the interview from Flair, like Vince McMahon did, where he explains why he's running people out of the company the way he is? Flair and the M7 are in the ring. Flair drops Hulk Hogan and Scott Hall's names when talking about Nash's career. The mic is passed to Scott Steiner. Steiner runs through all the guys that have driven out (accompanied by pictures of each on the big screen). He warns Kevin Nash that he's not through with him, because Nash put his hands on Steiner's freak, Midajah. (Apparently she's now gone from WCW.) At the TEN MINUTE mark (the funeral dirge playing the entire time), Steiner says Diamond Dallas Page is next on their list. (Kanyon, dressed as DDP, is in the casket.) DDP then appears in the crowd and says his catchphrases. So what do you say when on the night after the PPV they set up the main event of the next PPV, and it's a match you don't care about? Just look at what Steiner vs. Nash gave us: a bad PPV match, and a Nitro the next night that starts with a repeat of an angle they did a month earlier. Will there be another funeral when Steiner retires DDP? People complain about the WWF being boring, predictable and repetitive? What do you call this then? - The Cat says since the cruiserweights are so great, he's forming a Cruiserweight Tag Team Division. The cruisers will be grouped into eight teams, and they will compete in a tournament, which will culminate in a match to crown the new champs at the next PPV, Greed. Chalk this up as another of those moves where WCW thinks they're sucking up to the Internet fans, but they're really setting them up to be disappointed. (Like we really need to see them lumped into tag teams, and another meaningless belt thrown into the mix, when all anyone wants is for the cruisers to be treated seriously with good, quality storylines.) - JAMIE KNOBLE vs. SHANNON MOORE Quickly Evan Karagias runs in, leading to Moore getting the pin with the Bottoms Up. He and Karagias then stomp on Knoble. Consider them the first tag team of the division. That leaves the Jung Dragons, Shane Helms & Knoble, perhaps Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman, and ... ? Chavo Guerrero and a partner? Who's Elix Skipper going to tag with? They bringing some guys up from the Power Plant? Or some ECW guys? Don't mistake all these questions as interest on my part. - Nitro crashes Mardi Gras next week. (Crashes and burns is more like it.) - Konnan & Kidman sort of challenge Animal & Chavo Guerrero to a tag match. I say "sort of" because this is one of those segments where the two are just talking to each other, and Animal & Guerrero are supposed to figure out for themselves that they've been challenged--as if anyone backstage ever watches the show on the monitors. - BRYAN CLARK vs. MIKE AWESOME Elix Skipper runs in, Clark chokeslams him, and Lance Storm comes in, drawing the DQ. Brian Adams comes in too, and Team Canada is left laying. (Two matches = two run-ins.) What do you think has made the biggest impression on fans so far tonight: the quick, pointless match that opened the show, the Cat's announcement about the cruiserweights, or the sight of Elix Skipper getting tossed around like a sack of turds? The Cat has rounded up a posse of security guards. - The Cat says Lance Storm did a lot of dirty things as commissioner of WCW. (When?) Hugh Morrus appears on the Still-AOL-Time-Warner-Tron and acts like a jackass. Morrus vs. Storm, and the Cat will fire Awesome and/or Skipper if they interfere. - Schiavone says Flair's guys aren't out to win matches, they're out to hurt people who stand between them and total domination of WCW. Again, why? Why can't Flair just fire those he doesn't like? Why do they have to be screwed in the ring? And just how does this "relate to the new ownership of WCW," as Scott Hudson keeps saying? If what Flair is doing is so heinous, and against the wishes of the new owners, how will they explain it when Bischoff (or whoever) comes in and doesn't fire Flair on the spot? Why hasn't Flair been fired already? - A video package is shown of Kid Romeo, a new cruiserweight on his way into WCW. My god, actual build-up and hype for a newcomer! Whoever had this idea can't be the one who's booked the show thus far. Put that guy in charge. Kid Romeo ... he was in ECW, right? - ANIMAL/CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. vs. BILLY KIDMAN/KONNAN This is supposed to be the abovementioned tag match, but we see Konnan attacking Animal backstage. Kidman attacks Chavo in the ring. They then cut to a commercial. What an F-ed up show this has been tonight. Do I have to mention who doesn't belong in this match? Animal really does little in the match. Konnan doesn't do much either. Kidman and Guerrero carry it, blowing a few moves along the way. Rey Mysterio eventually runs in (three matches = three run-ins) and helps Kidman score the pin on Guerrero. Bagwell ... god, he's so gay. HOUR TWO: - BUFF BAGWELL vs. THE CAT (w/ Miss Jones) Kanyon runs in (four matches = four run-ins) and helps Bagwell score the pin. Miss Jones then slaps Kanyon, so he drops her with the Diamond Cutter. A lengthy EMT/neckbrace/strap-her-to-the-backboard scene follows. I believe that officially makes WCW a Male Only promotion. - Miss Jones takes a ride on the meat wagon. Misread that and it sounds sexist. - RICK STEINER vs. LASH LEROUX Now, what's all this nonsense about WCW pushing the cruiserweights right? Of course I hesitate to call Lash a cruiserweight, as it's clear the guy hit the K-rations pretty hard when he was in MIA. Total squash, with three Steiner Drivers being employed to reach the inevitable conclusion. At least there wasn't a run-in. - Steiner didn't just beat Lash, he hurt him so bad that he has to be taken to the hospital. I'll try to explain why this is so F#@&ING WRONG a bit later. - Steiner tells Kanyon to destroy DDP. - Comments from Hugh Morrus. Didn't he and Lance Storm have a match that was supposed to be their last ever? Well, that was "General Rection", not Hugh Morrus. - Lance Storm is out. Cut to a commercial. - LANCE STORM vs. HUGH MORRUS Morrus wins with the No Laughing Matter moonsault. Eh. Dusty Rhodes (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) is backstage. - A clone of Dusty Rhodes' WWF music plays--sounds like Jimmy Hart has been busy--and out comes "the American Dweem". It's Jeff Jarrett in a padded Dusty Rhodes costume. The Dweem hits the ring and digs into a box of fried chicken. Jarrett flawlessly runs through the old Rhodesisms. The Dweem says his son Dustin can't compete with the Chosen One, Jeff Jarrett. He then puts on an exhibition, calling out four jobbers, who attack black ninja style, each falling victim to the Dweem's Dweaded Bionic Elbow. This is so Smoky Mountain, and the live crowd could care less, but I'm laughing out loud. The Dweem winds up on his back, too fat to get up (imagine an upended turtle). Five years ago the crowd would have loved this. Today ... eh. Dustin Rhodes eventually comes in, but Rick Steiner follows to make the save for Jarrett, who retrieves a guitar from under the ring and smashes it over Dustin's head. - The announcers note the passing of NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, killed at Sunday's Daytona 500 race. - DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. KANYON That's it--I'm throwing a flag. This isn't a main event match. Sorry. In retrospect this whole show has seemed more like a Thunder from two years ago. Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward--Kanyon hits DDP with his loaded copy of "Positively Kanyon" (the book with the brick in it). Kanyon covers, but DDP kicks out. DDP then hits the Diamond Cutter and scores the pin. What an asshole. Scott Steiner comes out for the obligatory Tense Staredown. Oops--DDP runs away, taunting Steiner from amongst the crowd. Fade out ... - This Wednesday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Well, at least Ric Flair kept his pants on. Bad show, hot crowd, and a company more concerned with conciliatory gestures than making actual changes for the better. It's not about "pushing" the cruiserweights. It's not about giving them wins over the heavyweights. It's not about giving them another meaningless title to compete over. It's about creating stars that wrestling fans will be willing to watch on TV and pay to see in person. It's not enough to let them have the occasional good match, and just SAY that the cruiserweights are great. The fans have to see that for themselves, and like it or not, it's the angles, storylines, gimmicks, hype and interviews that draw most fans to wrestling. This is true for all of wrestling, not just the cruiserweights. You have to offer the complete package. Being very good at one thing can make up for some deficiencies in other areas, but not for all of them. WCW's Cruiserweight Division thrived in the past, but eventually died because WCW never devoted attention or resources to those areas besides in-ring work. You can't create a breakout star for the Cruiserweight Division if the division itself is seen as a joke by the fans. WCW needs to decide who is in that division and who isn't. If Kidman and Lash don't want to be cruisers anymore, fine--let them be jobbers for the big boys. Once you decide who's in the division you have to keep them separate. That's they only way they'll go from being "well, at least we know there's going to be one good match on the card," to being legitimate, business-drawing stars. It's becoming frightfully clear the entire game plan for WCW at this point is to make the company look like absolute hell, with Eric Bischoff coming in eventually to "save" WCW, leading a contingent of popular babyfaces: Nash, Goldberg, Sting, Hogan, etc. And you know what ... it'll be interesting, it'll pop a rating, maybe drive up a buyrate or two ... and after a few months WCW will be back in the same position they're in right now. Why? Because most of those old guys can't wrestle, none of them will do jobs, and quickly the fans will see that it's all just a rehash of everything they already saw back in 1997, 1998, 1999 ... Forget about beating the WWF--WCW is a company fighting to survive. It's still a company losing millions of dollars. Crawling back up to a 3.0 TV rating and a 0.5 buyrate isn't going to generate the kind of money this company needs to survive. They need that, plus they need to cut even more costs, and generate a healthy stream of revenue from live events. Coming up with the next NWO angle isn't going to be enough to turn the company around. Look at the opportunity WCW missed with Lash LeRoux this week. Of course it's completely believable that Rick Steiner would crush him. But how about this: rather than squash Lash, Lash instead comes close to beating Steiner. Let's say Steiner, fearing he's going to lose, actually uses a chair to get a DQ and save his title. Next week, in front of his home town crowd (New Orleans), Lash demands a rematch. Steiner agrees, but only if the belt isn't on the line. Then Lash manages to beat Steiner, preferably clean, but it could also be a fluke (perhaps because Dustin Rhodes interferes). Lash gets a hero's reaction from the Mardi Gras crowd. That sets up another title match at the PPV, and there Lash wins and becomes U.S. Champ. With luck, bang!--WCW's made a new star. If it doesn't get over, then what is WCW out? So Rick Steiner had to do a few jobs. It's not like he needed to be protected, or is part of a storyline that can't be interrupted. At least we'd have gotten to see things shook up a bit, and have gotten an angle the fans would be happy to see, as opposed to the dozen or so depressing angles we get each week. Where were Chuck Palumbo & Sean O'Haire? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: St. Louis, Missouri. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler. WWF RAW: - A video package recapping last week opens the show. - THE UNDERTAKER vs. D-VON DUDLEY vs. CHRISTIAN Everybody's partners are supposed to be barred from ringside, but Edge comes out to join the announce team, saying he was invited by Lawler. Lawler plays along. There's almost more to that angle than the actual match, as the Undertaker pins Christian following the Last Ride. Edge eats a chokeslam too. As poorly as those two have fared recently, I'd have to assume they're winning the three-way at the PPV. But Edge & Christian with the Tag Titles again? It'd be great if Buh-Buh Ray Dudley pinned the Undertaker clean. Probably won't happen, though. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Triple H are in the parking area awaiting the arrival of Trish Stratus & William Regal. They'll all square off tonight in a mixed-tag match. - Edge & Christian decide it's time for Plan B. - DEAN MALENKO vs. LITA A video package recapping Malenko's infatuation with Lita precedes the match. Lita gets a huge pop coming out. Malenko dominates the match, at one point covering her next to the ropes, putting her foot on said ropes, than acting surprised when the ref breaks the count. Malenko's cruising to the victory when the ref is bumped. In come Matt Hardy. He nails Malenko with a chair, and puts Lita on top of him. The ref comes to and counts the pin. Matt & Lita celebrate, and swept up in the moment Matt kisses her! The crowd goes "ooh!" as Lita pulls away, looking shocked. Matt makes "what a fool I am!" motions as he heads up the ramp. Lita catches him, makes an "it's alright" gesture, and lays a wet kiss back on him! The crowd goes wild! But what does Jeff Hardy think? Will jealousy lead to a Hardyz split? Stay tuned ... Trish's limo pulls up. Stephanie, unable to control her self, bangs on the door. When Trish pops up through the sunroof Stephanie scrambles onto the hood and across the roof of the car. Is Triple H laughing? Trish makes her escape with the help of Regal. - A pretaped interview with Kurt Angle conducted by Kevin Kelly is shown. Kelly asks Angle about not getting the respect he thinks he deserves. Angle says everyone thinks WrestleMania is going to be the big showdown between Steve Austin and the Rock for the WWF Championship, but that he is going to prove everyone wrong by spoiling that. They then talk about the Rock being the "People's Champion". Angle asks Kelly if he's had to explain to his kid what a "hermaphrodite" is, and if his wife enjoyed seeing her husband interview the Rock with his finger up his nose (last week on SmackDown!)? Angle asks Kelly who he'll be rooting for at the PPV? Kelly guiltily looks down. Good interview. - The Kat tells the Acolytes that she can't get naked with the RTC breathing down her neck. Bradshaw suggests they goo to the nearby club Deja Vu, where she can get naked as a jaybird. Faarooq starts scooping up dollar bills from the poker pot. I think I like this "Right To Nudity" angle. - Michael Cole gets comments from Chris Jericho, who will be refereeing the next match between Eddie Guerrero and X-Pac. Jericho's been given a "He Hate Me" jersey by his buddy Rod Smart of the XFL Las Vegas Outlaws. IS THAT A PLUG? - X-PAC vs. EDDIE GUERRERO Yeah, like this was a good idea. It's quickly clear that Jericho neither cares who will win, nor has any intention of taking his job seriously. He eventually comes to blows with X-Pac, and the match quickly turns into a melee, with Justin Credible running in to join the fray. Guerrero joins forces with Jericho in fighting X-Pac and Credible off, but the two then do the "back-into-each-other-and-fight" bit. Jericho comes out on top, but as he pauses up on the stage he's blindsided by Chris Benoit. There may well be a glass ceiling in the WWF, but is it all that terrible to have an Intercontinental Title division that includes Jericho, Benoit, Guerrero, X-Pac and Justin Credible? The Acolytes & the Kat have arrived at club Deja Vu. Seems like I've seen this before. Hey, are those girls topless?! - Edge & Christian tell a guy (who looks a little like Charlie Sheen) to go tell the Undertaker that the Dudley Boyz trashed his bike. They then start yelling for the Dudleyz. Elsewhere, the Dudleyz are seen responding to this challenge. Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen tells the Undertaker that the Dudleyz are messing with his bike. Back to the parking area, where the Dudleyz have arrived, but there's no sign of Edge & Christian. They start yelling for them to come out and fight. Enter the Undertaker, who sees the Dudleyz, sees his dismantled bike, puts two-and-two together, and attacks. Buh-Buh & D-Von have the advantage, though, and leave the Undertaker laying in a crumpled heap! They exit, continuing the search for Edge & Christian. Now Kane comes in, and hears the Undertaker calling out to him. He's suddenly jumped by Edge & Christian, and laid out by a Conchairto! It's not much, but Edge & Christian come out looking like the smartest team of the bunch. Contrived, but a good angle nonetheless. - Stephanie tells Triple H to hurry up, but he tells her to relax--they have plenty of time before their match. Stephanie says she's going to take a walk to cool off. WWF WAR ZONE: - Stephanie's walk has taken her to the ring, where she says forget about the mixed-tag match, and forget about this Sunday, because she wants Trish Stratus tonight. She says she's not afraid of her, and shows a clip from last week of her slapping "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Out comes Austin. He thanks her for reminding him of what she did, and since he can't touch her husband Triple H ... kick--Stunner! Triple H runs out, but Austin cracks a beer and casually strolls away, Triple H unable to touch him. - A trainer is checking on the still-unconscious Stephanie backstage. Triple H destroys some furniture. Elsewhere, Trish is loving this. William Regal suggests that with Steve Austin on the prowl, perhaps they'd better leave. - THE HARDY BOYZ vs. RIKISHI/HAKU A squash here would be so wrong, and thankfully there isn't one, with the Hardyz actually nearly winning the match. Rikishi is taken down with a Twist of fate, then a Swanton Bomb. Jeff Hardy covers, but Matt is slow leaving the ring, which ties up the ref. Haku comes in and headbutts Jeff, and Rikishi weakly covers for the pin. Haku then chokes both Hardyz, one with each hand. I wonder if WCW owns the rights to the "Tongan Death Grip", because Ross stumbled all over himself calling the two chokeholds. If Haku was going to get to destroy them anyway, why not let the Hardyz get the win? I hope this will be used as fuel to feed the split, since it was Matt that cost them the win. - The Acolytes urge the Kat to join a stripper on the stage. Before this can become THE GREATEST RAW EVER, Steven Richards and Ivory appear out of nowhere and cover the Kat up. The APA jump up on the stage, only to be attacked from behind by Val Venis & Bull Buchanan. - Lawler is interrupted by Al Snow, who hands him a campaign button. Turns out Mick Foley has inspired Snow to run for WWF commissioner. Marvelous. Whatever happened to lt. commissioner Debra? - RAVEN vs. CRASH HOLLY Up the ramp they brawl, onto the stage, down a ladder, and into the back. Raven is dumped into a concrete pit full of brackish water. Holly tries a pin cover, holding Raven under the water. The fight continues, with a lot of those aluminum pipes which make a lot of noise when they're knocked over getting knocked over. Suddenly the Big Show appears. The black ninja girl also appears and busts a board across the Show's knee. She tries to lead Raven to a waiting SUV, but is jumped by Molly Holly. Raven tossed the girl in black into the vehicle. Both Hollys climb aboard as well, and the fighting continues inside the car. Raven stops the car, dumps the two of them out, and roars away, with the Big Show doing a Frankenstein's monster imitation chasing behind. Visually interesting, and for that reason slightly entertaining, but not to be confused with a good match. - Triple H sends Stephanie back to the hotel. She begs him not to do anything stupid. She's one to talk! - Steven Richards & Ivory drag the Kat to the ring. Richards says there's no way the Kat will get naked, and says if the fans won't be her judge and executioner, the RTC will. The King can't stand it any longer, and he throws down his headset and enters the ring! The crowd chants Lawler's name. He tells Richards to let go of her. He'd wrestle to defend her right to get naked. Richards says fine, and offers Lawler the chance to do so at No Way Out. Lawler can pick any member of the RTC to wrestle, and if he wins, the Kat can strip naked. If the RTC wins, though, the Kat will belong to them. The Kat nods, Lawler says it's a deal, and he picks Richards as his opponent. Lawler then drops Richards with a punch. Lawler should have picked Ivory. You know, everyone is going to buy No Way Out expecting to see the Kat get naked, but I bet the RTC steals the win. - Tazz is at WWF New York. - Michael Cole gets comments from the Rock regarding the Kurt Angle interview we saw earlier. - THE ROCK/"STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. KURT ANGLE/CHRIS BENOIT Triple H sits in on color commentary. A tremendous match, with the Rock and Austin dominating, but Benoit rallying late to take control. An attempted headbutt off the top by Benoit misses, and the tide turns back in the Rock & Austin's favor. Austin takes Angle out with a Stunner. Cover, and a count, but Triple H leaves the announce position and pulls out the ref before he can reach three. Triple H is up on the apron, distracting Austin. Here comes Benoit with the WWF Championship belt, but Austin moves aside, and Benoit hits Triple H instead. The Rock then gives Benoit a Rock Bottom, and Hebner counts the pin. Austin and the Rock celebrate the win, Austin holding the belt for a bit, then tossing it to the Rock, saying without words that the Rock may get it this Sunday, but it'll be Austin's come WrestleMania. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: It's hard to look at this show, and maybe the last few, and see where people feel the WWF is boring or predictable. Maybe it is, but it would seem that way if you have unreasonable expectations for the promotion. (Those dying each day Chris Benoit isn't World Champion are going to continue to die, because that ain't happening anytime soon.) The only real problem I see for the company is that maybe the matches aren't as good overall as they were a year ago. It seems a natural that the Rock will win the title this Sunday at No Way Out and go on to face Austin at WrestleMania. It wouldn't surprise me, though, if Angle actually managed to retain the belt. I also wouldn't be surprised if Austin's titleshot was put on the line in his match against Triple H. Then the Rock gets involved in that match, and somehow costs Austin the win. Austin is pissed, and the match between he and the Rock takes place as planned, but without the title. Angle would then defend the belt against Triple H, the WWF finally going back and resolving that love triangle storyline with Stephanie. Everyone gets the match they want to see, while Triple H--the Smartest Man in Wrestling--gets to compete at WrestleMania for the championship in the co-main event. I hope one of these two things happen, because otherwise I fear Triple H is going to worm his way into the Austin/Rock match, making it a three-way. This was a really good show this week. A few too many run-ins and interference and such in the matches, but the main event was great, and the writing overall was very good. For the first time in months I actually liked an RTC angle. I'm also really looking forward to seeing where the Hardyz/Lita storyline goes. Not a lot of XFL hype this week. Can you blame them? Whatever happened to Test? Or Kaientai? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Here's the card for No Way Out: * Triple H vs. Steve Austin. 2 out of 3 Falls. * Kurt Angle vs. the Rock for the WWF Championship. * Dudleyz vs. Edge & Christian vs. Undertaker & Kane for the Tag Titles. * Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards, the Kat's Right To Nudity on the line. We should get the last few matches finalized on SmackDown! I'm expecting a three-way between Jericho, Guerrero & X-Pac for the IC belt, perhaps Matt Hardy vs. Dean Malenko, and some kind of Hardcore Title match involving Raven and the Big Show. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2001 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 275 of the "Monday Night Recap", February 19th, 2001.