Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #252
September 11th, 2000

The Opening Word:

I've lost a lot of respect for Bret Hart over the last few years. Not 
wanting to lose more I skipped his "shoot" speech on Thunder last week. This 
past weekend I read his Calgary Sun column, and found myself perhaps gaining 
some of that old respect back. Respect, or perhaps sympathy.

Hart, in his column, revealed that he regretted doing the interview on 
Thunder. He says he felt like a "prostitute" for going out there and saying 
what they wanted him to say, things he didn't feel or believe in. He didn't 
like that WCW is taking his very real injury and making it a part of a 
revenge storyline, aimed at Goldberg, who Hart says he doesn't blame 
personally for the injury (rather Hart blames Goldberg's relative lack of 
training).

There is perhaps a gut reaction by some to tell Hart to shut up and do what 
he's told to do. After all, he's making a ton of money from WCW. Hart's 
already taking heat from WCW fans for daring to say anything bad about WCW, 
some going so far as to call him a "whore" who should "shut up already."

I find myself sympathizing with Hart in this instance. Read between his 
lines and you can see what he's really commenting on here. Bret comes right 
out and says it will be a long time before he can ever take another bump, 
and go back to delivering matches he's proud of. Yet WCW has him out there 
cutting promos, building to a match which may never take place. Hart's 
contract with WCW will likely expire before he's cleared to wrestle, meaning 
he'd have to re-sign with WCW, and hope his condition improves, just to go 
through with this angle WCW is trying to fool the fans into thinking will 
take place in the very near future.

It must be particularly galling to Hart to have to come in and put over the 
guy who may well have ended his career. Not wanting to say such things, WCW 
tells Hart to shut up and do his job anyway. The fans pop for the WWF names 
Hart has been asked to drop during the promo. They then call for Goldberg to 
rip Hart's head off. And when Hart says he regrets doing it ... they call 
him a whore.

You have to feel bad for the guy.

If Hart could just walk away I'm sure he would. But he can't, not without 
having his pay cut and being threatened with a breach of contract lawsuit. I 
bet every day he wrestles with the with the idea of telling WCW to go to 
hell, and walking away from the business for good, money and lawsuits be 
damned. Unfortunately Hart did something like that once before, and it has 
haunted him ever since.

Hart put principle before business in 1997, destroying a near two decade 
relationship with Vince McMahon and the WWF. Hart feels he was betrayed, and 
has been unable to put the events of that November behind him. Deep down, I 
think part of what has bothered Hart is his own actions of that night, and a 
feeling that maybe he could have done things better and still walked away 
with his integrity intact.

Hart equates what WCW has asked him to do to what the WWF did to him in 
those final days. Hart's respect for his legacy and self-image puts him in a 
tough position. He's always been the company man who does what he's told, 
yet to do so sometimes means going against what he believes in. Hart has 
grappled with this problem for years, and in the three years since he took 
his painful stand in Montreal he still hasn't figured out where to draw the 
line--how to do what he's asked to do, yet stand by his principles, and walk 
away with his head held high.

Maybe Bret wants to have his cake and eat it too. Maybe he's a blind 
idealist, too much of a mark for his own character to realize he can't 
always be the hero. And maybe he's just trying to figure out a way to do all 
that's asked of him while maintaining some integrity ... some honor.

Last week Hart let the business suck him in again, and once again he sold 
himself out. Those familiar with Hart might have just expected him to blame 
it on Montreal again. This time, though, Hart shouldered much of the blame 
himself. He's finally admitting the problem he has, the hard position his 
principles and the business have put him in. For once Montreal isn't to 
blame for all of Hart's ills, it's merely another example of that conflict 
which is still tearing him apart today. In the past Hart has said he 
understands that the business has changed, and that his place in it must be 
different than he'd like it to be. I don't think Hart understood that at 
all, not until last week, when once again he was faced with a decision in 
which no matter which path he choose, something lay in wait to crush his 
spirit.

Hart's best hope at redemption lies in him leaving the business once and for 
all. The day he does that and lets all the baggage of the past go is the day 
I'll have all my respect for him back. I'll understand if he chooses the 
path of least resistance and waits for his WCW contract to expire. I'd be 
happier if he made that decision now--this week, and told WCW they can sue 
him if they want. But if Bret's back on TV next week again hyping a match he 
knows may never happen, all I'll have for him is pity, tinged with sympathy 
and understanding for the conflict he seems unable to find his way out of.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Charlotte, North Carolina.
Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash & Mark Madden.

HOUR ONE:

 - Crowbar, Daffney and Ozzy wish David Flair the best in his upcoming
   nuptials.

 - Jeff Jarrett says it's time to start The Band.

 - JUVENTUD GUERRERA/REY MYSTERIO, JR. vs. KRONIK
   This match comes about because Disco Inferno calls out Kronik for
   something they did or said to him last week. Of course everyone hates
   Disco, and Konnan and the announcers keep telling him to go in and help
   Rey & Juvi, because if he doesn't they're going to get killed. The Harris
   Twins come out, grab a video camera, and do some damage to Brian Adams.
   Disco whacks Bryan Clark with a chair, Rey drops a leg off the top, and
   covers for the pin, retaining the Tag Team Titles. Okay match, despite
   all the run-ins.

   Blushing bride Stacy Kiebler arrives. Madden: "SNOOTCHIE BOOTCHIES!"
   What a jackass. Correction: "jaqass."

 - Video package recaps Wargames 2000. "The master plan has paid off for
   Vince Russo ..." kind of tells you who *really* won that match, doesn't
   it? The swerve from last week has now been upgraded to "one of the
   biggest swerves ever." The announcers say Russo has three concussions,
   and that he's undergone brain surgery. Am I supposed to feel sorry for
   him? No, seriously. They claim we'll see footage of the surgery later
   tonight.

 - Madden makes his second or third Sisqo reference of the night, because he
   figures the kids like Sisqo, thus dropping his name will make him cool.

 - The Cat, backed up by Miss Jones, comes out and announces a match between
   Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner for the WCW Title. He can do this because
   the "injunction" Russo filed against the Commissionership last week was
   "thrown out." Miss Jones then says she wants a piece of Jeff Jarrett?
   Why? Who knows--who cares--let's move on. Jarrett comes out and says
   slap-ass, blah, blah, blah. Then Scott Steiner comes out and he and
   Jarrett beat on the Cat.

 - Terry Taylor tells Booker T and Sting that the Cat's getting his ass
   kicked. Hey, will these two be fined for arriving late?

 - BIG VITO vs. RENO (w/ Chuck Palumbo)
   Mike Sanders has been suspended for whatever he and the Natural Born
   Thrillerz did on Thunder. Chuck Palumbo comes in to help Reno, at which
   point Johnny the Bull makes his return, doing what everyone else who is
   gone for any amount of time does: turn on their old partner. Johnny
   whacks Vito with a stickball bat and Reno gets the pin. Vito then beats
   on the scrubs with his own kendo stick. Then the other Thrillerz run in
   and beat up Vito. I think WCW forgot that Vito had already turned on
   Johnny before he got hurt, making his turn on Vito even less "shocking"
   than it already was(n't). By the way, this was apparently a "Stickball
   Bat on a Pole Match," but as usual the stipulation meant very little,
   other than providing some available weapons.

   The Cat tells Booker & Sting that they have to take the show back tonight
   before they lose it for good.

   Torrie Wilson is next, in a match against Madusa. Madusa?

 - Booker & Sting bust into The Band's dressing room, followed by the Cat,
   who says there'll be repercussions if Nash and Steiner don't fight
   tonight.

 - Madusa disses Pamela Paulshock for being like an inch shorter than she
   is. She says she's going to teach the women of "the WCW" a lesson because
   Vince Russo asked her too, or something, and that she wasn't hired
   because of her looks. This from the woman with the largest breasts in
   WCW.

 - TORRIE WILSON (w/ Shane Douglas) vs. MADUSA
   Madusa, with nobody caring that she was gone, returned last week on
   Thunder and did whatever for no reason. I get that I'm supposed to watch
   Thunder so I can follow the storylines and not miss anything, but just
   because we see them play out doesn't mean they ever make sense. Anyway,
   no match to speak of, as about two kicks from Madusa in Douglas
   interferes, causing a DQ. Douglas gives her a belly-to-belly suplex, then
   says she should wrestle him. He puts her in an STF. Billy Kidman runs in
   for the save. "Bitch" ... "slut" ... "ass" ... somewhere amongst a bunch
   of swearing we get Madusa and Torrie added to Kidman & Douglas'
   "Pittsburgh Plunge Scaffold Match" at the PPV.

   Crowbar wishes David Flair luck. As does Jimmy Hart to Miss Hancock,
   wherever she is, delivering a registered letter at the same time.

   Ric Flair's limo pulls up, followed by the Partridge Family bus. Uh-huh.
   Mike Awesome is in it.

 - Steiner's climbing the walls, while Nash is relaxed. Nash suggests they
   do what he did with Hogan, where he taps Scott on the chest and he lays
   down for the count. Steiner doesn't seem to be grasping the concept.

 - JEFF JARRETT vs. MISS JONES
   Jarrett says no woman can beat him, and to prove it he handcuffs his
   hands together. The Cat takes the opportunity to get some cheap shots in.
   In the match itself, Jones kicks the referee in the nuts, and Jarrett
   hits her with a guitar, then covers for the pin. Sad to see Jarrett, a
   year after leaving the WWF, going back to his old woman beating gimmick.
   (But hey, at least the crowd here popped for him doing it!) Mike Awesome
   runs in for the save, Madden yelling "damn this 70's guy!"

   Now Nash is drawing a diagram of their match on a board. Steiner still
   can't figure out how to do a job.

 - Nash tells Jarrett to talk some sense into Steiner, who isn't getting
   into this whole "lying down" thing.

 - "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan--didn't they fire him?--delivers his third or fourth
   "emotional thank you speech" to the fans. (Let's see: there was the one
   when he left, the one when he came back, and the one the night he fought
   Goldberg. There might be one or two more I'm forgetting too.) Duggan
   announces his retirement from "the WCW," and names General Rection as the
   man who will carry the USA flag for him from now on. What a great use of
   an awful gimmick. I feel bad for Hugh Morrus.

HOUR TWO:

   GENERAL RECTION vs. LANCE STORM
   RAW is starting, so you know the run-in has to be coming pretty quick.
   Sure enough, Duggan knocks Storm of the top with his 2X4, the General
   then covering for the pin. I didn't catch why Storm's Canadian (U.S.)
   Title wasn't on the line here. Saving it for the PPV, I guess.

   Miss Hancock is startled by the contents of the letter she's received.

 - The wedding party has assembled in the ring. Arn Anderson takes a moment
   to tell David that he can still be one of the boys, so long as he always
   crawls back to Stacy afterwards and begs her to forgive him. Heh. David
   then introduces his father Ric, who gets a huge pop from the crowd. Ric,
   whose hair looks just like David's now, says a few words, getting across
   that this night is about David and his marriage. Lest we think this is a
   real wedding, Daffney and Crowbar--members of the wedding party--stay in
   character, making faces. The priest (pastor, minister, padre--whoever
   conducts a wedding ceremony--"bad actor" really being the best
   description here) has barely started when the ceremony is interrupted by
   a stream of policemen coming down the aisle. It turns out Vince Russo
   filed a "restraining order" earlier in the day against Ric Flair, barring
   him from the arena. Flair is handcuffed and taken away. The crowd chants
   "bullshit," Vince Russo deserving every bit of it. Hancock breaks down
   and leaves the ring as well. You know, Russo trashed the WWF's wedding
   last year. Well, he got his chance to do it better. Did he succeed? You
   all be the judge.

   Hey, was all of what we saw above part of one of those "scripts" that
   Goldberg refused to follow, like they talk about in this promo for Fall
   Brawl?

 - Flair is loaded into a police car. Arn tells him that he'll take care of
   David.

 - Madden cues up a video of Vince Russo taking head shots in his match
   against Ric Flair, his match against Big Vito, and the kick the Cat gave
   him last week. That sets up a lengthy segment with a doctor explaining
   what's wrong with Russo, and what led up to his brain surgery. This is
   accompanied by generic Discover Channel type footage of an operation.
   Russo will be out of action from two to five months. When it's done
   Madden cries about the blurred vision and headaches Russo has suffered.
   Schiavone says it sounds like a bunch of bull to him, pointing out the
   Discovery Channel feel of the video I mentioned above. Was this all some
   kind off shot at Bret Hart? I mean, what the hell is the point of all
   this? MORE heat for Russo? Schiavone says Russo just wants sympathy.

 - STING vs. THE HARRIS BROTHERS
   The Harris Boyz have chains, but they don't help them when Kronik runs
   in. Ron & Don are laid out and Sting put on top for the pin. The show's
   nearly over, but there's only been a little more than ten minutes of
   wrestling thus far tonight.

   Steiner's enraged at the idea of laying down for Nash. Gee, you don't
   suppose these guys are trying a SHOCKING SWERVE for the third week in a
   row?

   David still wants to get married, but Hancock seems reluctant.

 - Okay, so we give the wedding ceremony another try. They get all the way
   to the "speak now or forever hold your peace" line. Everyone in the crowd
   looks to the entryway. It's Stacy, however, who raises her hand, and says
   she can't marry David because he isn't the father of her baby. ZERO
   reaction from the crowd. The announcers say "Wow! Wow!! WOW!!!" to try
   and cover up for the dud they've just dropped. So what was the thing with
   the letter, if she was being bugged "all day" by knowing David wasn't the
   father? Was the letter test results confirming it? Why am I even
   bothering to figure this out? The best thing I can say about this whole
   wedding is that Stacy looked pretty hot in her gown.

 - Miss Kiebler flees from the arena.

 - Awesome gets jumped outside by Jarrett and the Thrillerz.

 - Steiner mangles some english for Mean Gene Okerlund.

 - Booker T takes a turn on the mic, assuring that the main event won't last
   long. He's the referee for our main event, while Goldberg will serve as
   outside enforcer. Hey, remember when Goldberg actually WRESTLED in
   MATCHES? I think he's been in three or four actual matches on TV since
   his return, one of those being Wargames last week. Then there was that
   PPV match where he "refused to follow the script" and walked out.
   Otherwise he just shows up, makes funny faces, and does some occasional
   brawling.

   KEVIN NASH vs. SCOTT STEINER
   Everyone's entrances chew up some more time. The Cat sits in on color
   commentary. Nash starts the match with a poke to Steiner's chest. Steiner
   doesn't go down, and replies with a chest poke of his own. Nash tries to
   walk out, but Steiner stops him. High knee from Nash. Punch. Whip into
   the ropes ... sidewalk slam! The Champ's got his working boots on
   tonight! Steiner comes back with a clothesline, which seemingly renders
   Nash unconscious. Steiner drops an elbow and covers. Booker T starts to
   make a fast count, but stops at two, perhaps realizing that a win by
   Steiner would mean he wouldn't get a shot at the title at the PPV. This
   is, of course, the gaping flaw in the Cat's plans here tonight. Steiner
   attacks Booker, and that's the end to our main event, Russo's latest
   SHOCKING SWERVE having been carried out. The action continues, though,
   as Goldberg runs in, beats on the bad guys for a bit, gets beat on
   himself, rallies back, then gets beat on some more when all the NBT pull
   up to ringside in Mike Awesome's bus! Booker T is put up on the hood of
   the bus and gently pushed through the windshield. (Hmm ... that's the
   first time I've ever seen "glass" bend before it broke. Still, better a
   safe stunt than a stupid injury, though.) Goldberg is handcuffed to the
   front of the bus. Just as the show is fading out we see Goldberg break
   free by tearing the two halves of the front grill off the bus. Still,
   unless Sting came out after that with a flamethrower, I can't imagine
   this crowd going home happy.

 - This Wednesday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

Good lord, where to start ...

Maybe it's because I'm three years older than I was when I first saw the 
"Crash TV" style in the WWF, but I really got a headache watching this show. 
Everything flew by too quickly. Five minutes in I wanted to reach into my TV 
and grab someone--anyone--and shake them, yelling "SLOW DOWN!!!"

Then the second hour slowed to a crawl, with TWO wedding ceremonies, the 
doctor's interview, and little wrestling to speak of. Be careful what you 
wish for ...

Not helping things was WCW's replacing Scott Hudson with Jeremy Borash, 
creating a void which Mark Madden was all too happy to fill with his bluster 
and nonsense. I barely remember Borash speaking a half dozen times all 
night. The rest of the time it was all Madden braying like a mule.

Topping it all off was Vince Russo's continued pushing of himself as WCW's 
most important character.

A wedding, somebody getting arrested, a mystery father for the baby, a bus 
being driven into the building ... what would Russo do if he didn't have old 
ideas to recycle? I don't know if this was a worse show than last week, but 
I certainly disliked it more, and thought it did more damage to WCW than any 
other in recent memory.

The big question going into this show was whether or not Vince Russo would 
screw up Ric Flair's return. The answer, obviously, was a big "yes." That 
Charlotte crowd was PISSED that Ric Flair was arrested. It's hard to see 
this as anything but another attempt to bury Flair by WCW. Why else arrest 
the guy in his home town? This was supposed to be a big moment for Flair and 
his fans, and instead it became one more thing to build heat for Vince 
Russo--who wasn't even there to benefit from it! Russo's now pinned Flair, 
shaved his head, and had him arrested in front of his most loyal fans. Oh, 
but it'll be all okay when they wrestle again and Russo does the job, right? 
*IF* that match ever takes place. By the way, can anyone just file a 
"restraining order" against someone else, barring them from a public place? 
Wouldn't Flair have to have been served with papers first before 
automatically being arrested? Can *I* file a restraining order tomorrow 
barring Vince Russo from ever entering an arena WCW is in? In the comic book 
universe Vince Russo books his shows in, yup, I probably could.

How did Russo file a restraining order if he just had brain surgery Saturday 
night?

It's stuff like this that killed WCW, both on TV and in the towns they go 
to. No one in Charlotte's going to want to go the next time these guys roll 
into town, not unless they hype a Flair/Russo match, and the TV leading up 
to it gives the fans the impression Flair won't get screwed over. Maybe the 
fans would have bought this had Flair been back for a while already, playing 
a non-wrestling role on weekly TV. But to bring him back just to make a fool 
out of him ... why should WCW fans be entertained by that? There has to be a 
set of rules by which all this stuff works, and in Vince Russo's world he's 
God, and everyone else is a jackass.

I'm sure Flair was happy to be back on TV and doing an angle with his son, 
but he should really be looking at this the same way as Bret Hart. WCW's 
bringing in these guys to pop ratings, with zero concern over how they feel 
about it or how it makes them look.

I wrote earlier this year how WCW was so depressing because the good guys 
never won. At that time Russo had just started the New Blood storyline, and 
on every show the New Blood came out on top, just like the New World Order 
did for so long. Some may remember how I compared the battle of Good vs. 
Evil to digging a hole, and that when Evil won, you took a shovelful out, 
and when Good won you put one back in. The goal was to keep the hole close 
to ground level. The heels seemed to win so much more often than the 
babyfaces, and when the good guys did win, it was in a moment that never had 
the equal impact of what the heels usually did. Like David Arquette winning 
the World Title, or Hogan and Sting getting meaningless victories over 
Kidman and Vampiro. Occasionally the good guys would win a battle, but the 
bad guys seemed like they were always winning the war.

Since I wrote that, it seems the only positive thing that has happened in 
WCW was Booker T winning the World Title. More than offsetting that was Nash 
winning the belt from him, Nash & Russo winning the Wargames, Russo running 
Hogan out of WCW, and a hundred other little moments where Russo and his 
boyz have come out on top. They even had Goldberg on their side for a brief 
time. Now Goldberg is back to being a babyface, but he's up against Russo 
and Nash and Steiner and Jarrett and Hart and the Natural Born Thrillerz and 
etc. Get a match signed against one of them and Russo stacks the deck. Have 
the match won and Russo calls in reinforcements. Or he'll fire you. Or have 
you arrested. His only allies are Booker T, Sting and Big Vito--guys who've 
shown a tendency to crumble when the numbers are against them.

These are the two sides in the biggest battle in WCW, and as it was during 
the NWO days, and when WCW started going to hell last year, and earlier this 
year when the company hit rock bottom, there just doesn't seem to be any 
way for the good guys (and therefore the fans) to win. Wrestling fans don't 
want to watch when the guys they're supposed to root for can't win. And it's 
not in the least bit helping things that week in and week out Russo books 
himself as an infallible genius, with all the money and power in the world 
to ensure his always coming out on top. Fans may desperately like to see 
Russo get what he deserves, but as the weeks and months pass without that 
looking like even a remote possibility, they're not going to stick around to 
see it happen.

And now they're doing an angle where Russo is supposed to be out from two to 
five months?! Geez, it's kind of hard to get at the guy if he's not even 
going to be there, isn't it? Yet the Russo machine rolls along smoothly, 
through Nash and Jarrett and the rest, making sure his evil plans are 
carried out each and every week.

What's the point of watching WCW anymore? Seriously, I'm asking this of WCW 
and its fans. It can't be for the wrestling--that isn't WCW's "thing" 
anymore. It's not the storylines--what few there are--because they make 
little sense and rarely run for more than two weeks. What is it about WCW 
that I'm supposed to like? Is it the swearing and gratuitous T&A? Am I 
supposed to smoke dope or suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder so that I 
can appreciate the art form that is WCW? Should I, as I was seriously 
advised by a few WCW fans last week, not actually watch the bulk of the 
show, so that the main events seem good? Should I sniff glue or hit myself 
in the head with a hammer, trying to achieve some kind of altered state so 
that all this stuff makes sense?

It's ironic that just a few weeks ago I was praising WCW for finally taking 
a more conventional booking approach, working on some storylines worth 
following. Since then WCW has killed of the wrestling aspect of the show, 
and embarked on a campaign to show us fans what a genius Vince Russo is 
supposed to be. No ... not show. TELL us what a genius he is.

How about just putting on a WRESTLING show, huh?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Phoenix, Arizona.
Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler.

WWF RAW:

 - I'm immediately struck by the fact that the camera can be panned across
   the arena, because it's a sell-out crowd. Nitro, the whole show had a
   claustrophobic feel because they had to keep tightly focused on the ring,
   so we wouldn't see all the empty seats (in the half of the arena they
   use--the other totally empty half closed off by a large black curtain
   suspended from the ceiling). Not only is the building sold out tonight,
   but also Tuesday, the WWF doing rare back-to-back TV tapings in the same
   arena.

 - Commissioner Mick Foley makes his way out. In the ring, after racking up
   some cheap pops, he calls out whoever it was that ran over "Stone Cold"
   Steve Austin last November. Just the mention of Austin's name draws a
   huge pop. Foley says he's commenced his own official investigation, and
   although Austin has waived any criminal penalties against whoever did it,
   Foley can't guarantee that he won't come up with a punishment for the
   guilty party.

   "If you smeeelllll ..." the Rock comes out, the fans excited to see him,
   yet not sure what his appearance means. Foley is shocked that the Rock is
   the one who ran over Austin. Ross and Lawler jump to the assumption that
   it was the Rock, wondering what Steve Austin must be thinking right now.
   Foley starts to deliver a tongue lashing, but the Rock holds up his hand,
   and says he admits it ... admits that this is the most half-assed
   investigation he's ever seen. As for his running over Austin, "oh hell
   no!" The Rock says Austin's going to Unforgiven and will deal with
   whoever ran him over as only he can. As for why the Rock is out tonight,
   he wants some payback for Kane chokeslamming him through a table last
   Thursday.

   Chris Benoit comes out to remind everyone that the WWF stands for "World
   WRESTLING Federation," and that he's the best wrestler in the WWF. He
   wants a title shot.

   Cue the pyro--it's Kane. Before he can speak, though, "American Badass"
   cranks up, and the Undertaker walks out (huge pop--who says he's not over
   anymore?). Short and sweet, the Undertaker says when talking about #1
   contenders, don't forget the Dead Man. He attacks Kane, while the Rock
   and Benoit go at it. Everyone ends up in the ring, and during the melee
   Kane accidentally punches Foley, dumping him from the ring.

 - Foley, backstage, says he's putting those four in a tag team match
   tonight, and that he will decide before the show is over who the #1
   contender is.

 - THE DUDLEY BOYZ vs. THE HARDY BOYZ
   Edge & Christian come out for color commentary. Relatively short match,
   cranked up to high speed, with the finish seeing Edge pushing Matt Hardy
   off the top, onto Buh-Buh Ray Dudley, and with both men down the ref
   makes the three count, giving the win to the Hardyz (because Matt was on
   top). That means it'll be the Hardyz versus Edge & Christian at the PPV.
   The Dudleyz then abuse the Tag Champs, giving Edge a 3-D through a table
   (which doesn't break).

 - LITA vs. IVORY
   Charles Barkley seems to like Lita, who wins easily here, nearly killing
   Ivory with a moonsault off the top, before the pin. Ivory forgot her
   purple scarf, dammit. Naked Mideon ran in during the match, and ran out
   just as quickly.

   Kurt Angle is upset with Commissioner Foley, what with Triple H doing a
   run-in on him last Thursday during Angle's match with the Undertaker.
   Tonight Angle faces T&A in a handicap match, while Triple H has the night
   off. Foley asks if "T&A" stands for Taker and Austin? No, says Angle, and
   he assures Foley that he had nothing to do with running over Austin.
   Foley says he'll put Triple H in a match, if Angle will just shut up.
   What follows, I'll kindly call an "homage" to the second "Austin Powers"
   movie.

 - Clips of the stormy Eddie Guerrero/Chyna relationship. That scene last
   week where Eddie blew up at Chyna, some shaky acting by the two at the
   start aside, was awesome. So was the angle where Chyna reluctantly helped
   Eddie beat Road Dogg, then Eddie beat on the Dogg after the match.
   "Earlier Today" Eddie groveled to get back in Chyna's good graces. She
   forgives him. To celebrate he suggests they go dance and kick some ass.
   She's troubled by his selection of Too Cool as their opponents. "They're
   our friends!" Eddie says they're all good sports and that no matter who
   wins, they'll all dance together afterward.

 - TOO COOL vs. EDDIE GUERRERO/CHYNA
   Okay match, mostly because Eddie refuses to tag Chyna in. Eddie attacks
   Too Cool. Later, a scoop slam by Grandmaster Sexay knocks Chyna off the
   apron, Eddie's boots catching her as he's whipped around. Then, as Scotty
   Too Hotty goes for the Worm, Chyna trips up Sexay. She then clotheslines
   Scotty over the top rope after hitting said Worm. Grandmaster Sexay then
   nails Eddie of the top with the Hip Hop Drop, scoring the pin. Nobody
   holds a grudge, and they all line up to dance. Very quickly into the
   dance, however, Eddie slips from the ring, grabs his IC Title belt, and
   comes back in to nail Sexay & Scotty. Rikishi comes out for the save, and
   sets Eddie up in the corner for the stinkface, forcing Chyna to help her
   man by hitting Rikishi with Eddie's belt.

   Triple H grumbles about having to face a mystery opponent, and orders
   Stephanie to stay backstage.

 - Grandmaster Sexay was busted open by the belt shot from Eddie. Backstage
   Chyna is upset over the way things went down. Eddie offers some phony
   reassurance, with the topic of conversation coming around to her body and
   how she's proud of it and how Eddie's trying to protect her. Apparently
   Eddie is the last person to find out that Chyna shot a photo spread for
   Playboy. Eddie threatens to do whatever it takes to keep anyone from
   seeing those photos. I hear Eddie's going to storm the Playboy Mansion on
   SmackDown!

WWF WAR ZONE:

 - TRIPLE H vs. CHRIS JERICHO
   Good match, which reaches a peak when Jericho bulldogs Triple H. He then
   goes for the Lionsault, but Triple H gets his knees up. That's when
   Stephanie comes out, followed by Kurt Angle. MAJOR crowd heat for Angle.
   Angle tries to drag Stephanie away up the ramp. Triple H barely avoids a
   roll-up by Jericho, then goes out to rescue Stephanie. Suddenly X-Pac
   runs in and attacks Jericho, costing Triple H the match. Triple H
   confronts X-Pac, leading to some shoving. Triple H is *that* far from a
   full-fledged babyface turn.

 - Mark Madden mentions Sisqo--the WWF *shows* him, at the MTV Video Music
   Awards, talking about the Rock, along with Puff Daddy, Toni Braxton, LL
   Cool J and others. They also show the bit Chyna did with "Survivor"
   winner Richard Hatch.

 - RIGHT TO CENSOR vs. THE ACOLYTES
   Val Venis returns from his one week absence, watching the match on the
   stage, holding a steel chair. The RTC get a quick win when a doubleteam
   move leads to Bull Buchanan pinning Faarooq. Venis then comes in,
   attacking the Acolytes with the chair. Gee, like we didn't see that one
   coming. I'm not sure if this did anything more for Val than if they'd
   have just had him join the RTC last week.

 - AL SNOW vs. TAZZ
   Snow, being the European Champion, is representing Germany this week. He
   comes out wearing lederhosen, carrying a string of sausages, and a photo
   of David Hasselhoff. His catchphrase has been translated into German, and
   is played with polka music, his entrance video showing him waving a
   German flag. Talk about going all out. Tazz goes down quickly when Lawler
   interferes in the match, busting the picture of Hasselhoff over Tazz's
   head, leading to a Snow pin. Tazz grabs a mic and shoots on Lawler,
   saying he's "tapped out"--that he can't compete with Lawler's political
   clout. Nobody wanted him--the outsider--there anyway. "Tazz ... just
   another victim of the WWF!" Tazz walks out, Lawler saying "goodbye and
   good riddance." Unlike WCW's weekly shoots, this one worked because 1)
   they're rare in the WWF, and 2) it was built up to on TV. You don't have
   to be a "smart" fan, or follow wrestling on the Internet, or know
   something the average fan wouldn't, to understand Tazz's thinking here.
   Tazz has repeatedly come up on the short end of the stick against Lawler,
   and it's easy to have started wondering if Tazz was being held back by
   the WWF. I assume this is just a swerve by Tazz to get Lawler thinking
   he's gone, when in reality he'll sneak back on SmackDown! or one of next
   week's shows, further hyping their PPV match.

   Some fans register to vote, the total now up to 60,000. Various random
   fans are interviewed, giving their thoughts on why Bush and Gore should
   accept the "SmackDown Challenge."

   Trish Stratus, T&A, Kurt Angle ... NEXT!

 - KURT ANGLE vs. T&A (w/ Trish Stratus)
   Angle badmouth some local athletes to really get the crowd against him.
   The match begins, Triple H & Stephanie shown watching it in the back.
   Angle gets in no offense. Triple H goes to share a laugh with Stephanie,
   when he realizes she's no longer in the room. Angle is dumped to the
   floor, where Trish lays in some kicks. Stephanie runs out and pushes
   Trish down. Test comes around and chases Stephanie into the ring, where
   Albert blocks off her escape. Test sets her up for a powerbomb, but
   Triple H runs in for the save, giving T&A the win by DQ. Angle comes in
   and dumps out Test, while Triple H takes care of Albert. Angle then
   checks on Stephanie. When Triple H sees this he explodes, shoving Angle
   down. Stephanie tries to step between them, but Triple H pushes her away.
   He comes back, and this time the ref pulls her out of harm's way, so she
   slaps him. More referees come in and Triple H and Angle each take out
   one. Triple H then puts Angle in the Pedigree. Stephanie grabs Triple H
   from behind, and Triple H, thinking it's another ref, elbows her to the
   ground! Angle grabs Triple H and nails him, Triple H then falling on
   Stephanie just like someone would delivering an elbowdrop! The crowd is
   HOT now. The fighting continues, and a woozy Stephanie tries to escape,
   but a reversed whip sends Angle crashing into her, Stephanie taking a big
   bump off the apron, dropping to the floor. Triple H scoops her up and
   heads up the ramp, only to be stopped by Angle, punching the defenseless
   Triple H in the head. Though it was a little like a scene from a "Naked
   Gun" movie, this was still great.

 - Foley says things are getting out of hand. He books a match between
   Triple H and Kurt Angle at Unforgiven, with himself as guest referee.

 - STEVE BLACKMAN vs. X-PAC
   The usual hardcore match, which X-Pac looks like he's about to win, after
   tossing a garbage can to Blackman on the stage and then flooring him with
   a kick, hanging from the bottom of the Titan-Tron. Out comes Chris
   Jericho, a shot with a kendo stick putting him down for Blackman to get
   the pin. Any show where X-Pac does a job is usually a good show.
 
   Benoit smoothly delivers a speech to Kane, saying he needs to put his
   troubled past behind him (like getting picked last as a kid to play
   kickball), and focus on being a team. Kane says he was NEVER picked last
   to play kickball.

   The Rock and Undertaker have a face-to-face, the gist being that they
   ain't friends, but they'll be there for each other tonight.

 - X-Pac attacked Jericho backstage during the break, busting him open with
   a pair of nunchucks.

 - THE ROCK/THE UNDERTAKER vs. KANE/CHRIS BENOIT
   With the last commercial, and all the entrances here, it doesn't leave
   much time for the match. Foley comes out for commentary. Short but hot
   match, which Benoit & Kane win when the Undertaker, after chokeslamming
   Benoit, sets him up for a powerbomb. Kane clotheslines Undertaker, and
   Benoit holds onto his legs, hooking him for the pin. Benoit pinned the
   Undertaker! Ross goofs up and credits Jericho with the pin. The brawling
   continues, as referees flood the ring to try and stop it. Foley says he
   isn't impressed with Benoit's victory, and rules that there will be a
   "Fatal Four Way Match" for the WWF Championship at Unforgiven. The show
   runs a couple minutes long, ending with the Rock and Undertaker laying
   out Benoit and Kane with a Rock Bottom and chokeslam.

 - This Thursday: Nothing announced.

 - Next week: Nothing announced.

Comments:

Benoit pinned the Undertaker ... Ric Flair was arrested ... for a huge group 
of fans those two things lie at the opposite ends of the whole "Good/Bad" 
scale.

If I have one complaint about this show it's that too many of the finishes 
were of the "Upcoming PPV Opponents Interfere In Each Others' Matches" 
variety. That, and for latest week in a string of many the main event, while 
a good match, didn't really mean anything. During the show-opening segment I 
actually thought they might do two singles matches, with Benoit perhaps 
standing a good chance of winning the belt from the Rock, just to spice 
things up before the PPV. Instead they went with a tag match. I'll say this, 
though ... at least it was a real match, and it had a real finish.

Do you think WWF fans would care as much about the Rock if he only wrestled 
as often as Goldberg?

If you've got no attention span, or only care about seeing a rapid-fire 
progression of stuff that doesn't make sense, I could see how some might say 
the WWF is "boring" right now. Me, I look at it and see storylines which 
build to matches, and matches which enhance the ongoing storylines. It's all 
part of a circle, and the better a company does it, the more successful they 
are. Right now the WWF is doing it perhaps better than they have ever 
before. If the worst thing the WWF's critics can say about it is that they 
can't be good forever, you know they don't really have a good argument 
against it. That's the war between the two companies we're seeing right now. 
WWF fans like the WWF--right now. WCW fans, their only solace is that in a 
year, maybe two, they might be back on top again. Uh, yeah, whatever. Even 
with a ratings turnaround this week the WWF is still miles ahead of WCW. 
If you're going to compare the two and try to claim WCW is better ... good 
luck. That may have been debatable back in 1996, 1997 and 1998. Not 1999, 
though, and not now in 2000.

But I've gone off on a tangent. Good show this week, not as good as 
SmackDown! last week, but definitely better than RAW last Monday. Unforgiven 
is shaping up to be something a bit more than the usual throwaway in-between 
PPV.

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The Bottom Line:

Two PPV's coming up, both with drastically different levels of appeal.

Fall Brawl is this Sunday, something that didn't even occur to me while 
watching Nitro tonight. Not once did WCW make the PPV seem like a noteworthy 
event. Most matches were hyped this week as an afterthought. Here's the 
card, for what it's worth:

 * Kevin Nash vs. Booker T for the World Heavyweight Title.
 * Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner.
 * Jeff Jarrett vs. Mike Awesome. "Bunkhouse Brawl."
 * Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman. "Pittsburgh Plunge Scaffold Match."
 * Lance Storm vs. General Rection. United States Title Match.
 * Elix Skipper vs. Kwee Wee. Cruiserweight Title Match.
 * Kronik vs. the Harris Brothers. "Chain Match."

With hard work and smart booking the show could be okay, but I bet not many 
WCW fans bother giving it a look. This is one of those shows where the fans 
will cheer for the good guys mostly on general principle. None of them, save 
Goldberg and maybe Booker T, are all that over, and none of the matches 
other than the top two have been hyped as meaning anything. And in those two 
matches that DO mean something, the fans have been conditioned by recent TV 
to expect the worst. If Russo could crawl from his deathbed to file a 
restraining order against Ric Flair, you know he's going to have some plan 
in place to keep Nash and Steiner from losing.

The WWF follows the week after with Unforgiven. It's impossible to calculate 
how much a better job the WWF has done hyping this one. Wrestling's hottest 
star, the Rock, puts his belt on the line in a match against three guys, any 
one of which could conceivably win it because the storylines have allowed 
for it. The Rock is likely to retain the belt, but a win by Benoit would 
nicely set up a rematch at the next PPV. Kane or the Undertaker winning it 
would naturally spin those two off in a singles feud for the belt, while the 
Rock and Benoit likely continued their feud with each other.

Triple H vs. Kurt Angle is probably the hottest feud in all of wrestling 
right now. That match will mark the first time the two have faced each other 
in a singles match.

And then there's Steve Austin's return to the WWF, to confront whoever it 
was who ran him down almost a year ago at Survivor Series. That angle, which 
probably won't live up to its hype, is merely the method by which Austin 
makes his week-to-week return to TV, building to his first match at the 
October PPV.

That there's enough to get a ton of WWF fans to buy the show. But the 
undercard is no less solid: The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian, Chris 
Jericho vs. X-Pac, Jerry Lawler vs. Tazz in a "Strap Match," etc. The WWF 
would actually have to work hard to screw this one up.

The WWF's biggest concern right now has to be the pending appeal in the 
Viacom/USA Network lawsuit. A decision was supposed to have been rendered in 
the case weeks ago. The lack of a ruling has kept the WWF and TNN from 
advertising the network switch in two weeks. Presumably the WWF has a slew 
of TV, radio and print ads ready to go to hype the switch. Until they know 
if the original court ruling stands, the WWF can't go ahead with the ad 
campaign. A win by USA would keep the WWF on their network, until and if 
Viacom was able to win an appeal of their own.

You can bet WCW is loving every minute of this. The less time the WWF has to 
advertise their move, the lower their ratings will be if they debut on TNN.

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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by 
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those 
of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how 
to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.

Volume One, Number 252 of the "Monday Night Recap", September 11th, 2000.