Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #226 March 13th, 2000 The Opening Word: I finally experienced last week what many other TV markets across the country have experienced when the Minneapolis UPN affiliate preempted SmackDown! in favor of the State High School Hockey Tournament. The very first thing the announcer did was let viewers know SmackDown! would appear in its entirety Sunday afternoon. KMSP 9 is the major UPN affiliate in Minnesota, and is carried by most of the cable companies across the state. In affect, no one in the entire state of Minnesota got to see SmackDown! until Sunday (though I'd guess there's a few towns, maybe along the borders, that pick up UPN signals from other states). The same will happen next week when KMSP 9 airs the State Girl's High School Basketball Tournament, and the week after that for the Boys Tournament. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Providence, Rhode Island. Hosted By: Tony Schiavone & Mark Madden. HOUR ONE: - Ric Flair and Lex Luger reassure each other that Team Package is still on track. Their problems with Arn Anderson and Sting will be dealt with, and soon. ... now Flair is in the ring to call out Anderson. Arn comes out to the stage, and begins rehashing old Four Horsemen history. Arn warns Flair that Luger is leading Flair on a path to destruction. Arn then calls out Hulk Hogan. And there he is. Mark Madden is disgusted that Arn has abandoned Flair for Hogan. Arn tells Hogan that at the PPV they will find out who is "The Man." He promises to not involve himself in the match. Flair acts like he's been betrayed. Hogan rips off his shirt and charges Flair. Luger then comes in with a bat and blindsides Hogan. Flair uses the weight strap on Hogan, closing out this paint-by-numbers PPV hype segment. I'd mark the odds at 50/50 that Arn interferes and aligns himself with Flair & Luger. - The Rat Man is at another Nitro Party. - Hogan's being looked at by EMT's and Jimmy Hart. - 3 Count vs. JUNG DRAGONS The Jung Dragons are WCW's latest Power Plant offerings. Spotfest, but still on okay (short) match. Shane or Shannon (don't know which is which) pinned the masked Dragon. Luger is upset. - El Dandy and Silver King hit on Miss Hancock. - THE WALL vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW No match to speak of. Wall handcuffs Bigelow in the corner. Crowbar, wearing a neckbrace, comes in and gets beaten up even more. The same for David Flair. I can't see the Wall getting over as a bad-ass by beating up the same three or four people over and over--especially people as lacking in credibility as Flair & Crowbar. Flair's chokeslammed through Crowbar on a table. Yawn. What, no paramedics? - The Chosen One is out. Jeff Jarrett's been doing this gimmick lately, a twist on the Godfather in the WWF, where he draws heat by bringing the NWO Ho's out with him, then sends them to the back. He cues up a "Greatest Hits" reel showing him smashing guitars over heads. He then announces a challenge from the Harris Brothers to Sid for a match later tonight. Sid comes out to accept, saying he has a partner ... Vampiro. Vampiro raises the "slapnutz" count to about ten. Crowbar + Flair + ambulance = been there, done that. Bigelow gets flustered cutting a promo. "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Harlem Heat. - Nitro Girls. - Footage of Big Jake (Big Cash, Big T, Big Ron, Big Al) at the "Arnold Classic." Paul Orndorff talks to him about coming to WCW. The announcers seem to be acting like it's not a done deal, even though they announced two weeks ago on Nitro that they'd signed him, then promised more footage on Thunder which they never delivered. - LANE/RAVE vs. BOOKER/KIDMAN (w/ Torrie Wilson) "Rave" is Lodi's newest name, probably because nobody wanted to call him Idol. Schiavone calls him Lodi anyway. Miss Hancock comes out and the match goes temporarily to the back burner. Booker totally dominates Lodi & Lenny, and goes up top for his drop-kick finisher, but Kidman comes in and rolls Lane up for the pin. Booker is upset. Miss Hancock expresses interest in Kidman. There's Curt Hennig, and Luger & Liz. If RAW's ratings are down on Mondays it may well be because of how bad Nitro is. I know I lost much of my interest in watching ANY wrestling after sitting through this hour of mush. HOUR TWO: - CURT HENNIG vs. LEX LUGER (w/ Elizabeth) Luger's facing Sting at the PPV in a "Lumberjack Cast Match." All the lumberjack surrounding the ring will be wearing casts. I hear the original idea was to have the lumberjacks be people who had their arms broken by Luger, but that WCW eventually realized that 1) there wouldn't be enough lumberjacks, and 2) they'd all be biased against Luger because he broke their arms. Duh. During Luger's endless entrance we see Hogan arriving at the arena in an ambulance he's commandeered. Man, Hogan's done this angle THREE times now, and he originally stole it from Sting! Punch-n-kick-fest until Falir does a run-in. Hogan makes the save, then challenges Flair & Luger to a match against himself & Hennig. Vampiro cuts a Raven promo in Mankind's boiler room. Brian Knobs is looking for the Dog. He finds him drinking out of the toilet. Really. - Nitro Party. They're actually pretending to do that "Win A Date With 3 Count" contest. - Nitro Girls. - "Mean" gene interviews WCW Champion Sid Vicious. - DOG (w/ Brian Knobs) vs. NORMAN SMILEY Knobs puts the bag over the Dog's head to quiet him down. Smiley then comes in and, being the anal sex freak he is, does the Big Wiggle behind the dog. Knobs sics the Dog on him. The Demon then comes out and attacks Knobs. Then the Demon is attacked by Lenny & Lodi. Huh? Demon goes to spew a mouthful of blood, but botches it and ends up yakking a big gob of fake blood in the air and all over his own face. The Norman Conquest finishes the match off in favor of Smiley. Another attempt at some rear door lovin' sends the Dog chasing Smiley out of the ring. Knobs grabs the mic and declares himself the real King of Hardcore. He challenges anyone to come out and fight him. Backstage it looks like Terry Funk accepts the challenge. - Smiley and the Dog are still going at it backstage. I wonder if the Dog would hump Smiley's leg it he caught him. - BRIAN KNOBS vs. TERRY FUNK Why are Hardcore Matches Schiavone's cue to chuckle like a fool? Funk gets all wobbly-legged after some trash can shots. Madden calls him the "Clown Prince of Hardcore," which pretty much sums it all up. Evan and Shannon of 3 Count run in and attack Knobs. Karagias knocks him out with the Hardcore Title belt. Funk is then rolled on top for the pin. Evan & Shannon then drop-kick Funk out of the ring. Funk comes back in with a raw chicken, which he uses to knock out Moore & Karagias. Dustin Rhodes enters from the crowd and takes Funk out. A few more guys may have run in at this point, but by now the synapses in my brain started to short out, as I realized the company is killing its own TV show in favor of hyping a PPV no one will watch. Jarrett, the Harris Boys & NWO Girls have a confab. There's Vampiro & Sid. - Fit Finlay says some stuff. - SID VICIOUS vs. THE HARRIS BROTHERS Watchable match, only because Vampiro spends the whole thing in the ring getting his ass kicked. Sid is tagged in and he powerbombs a Harris for the win. Sid doesn't even check on Vamp, huddled at ringside, as he walks out, soaking up the adulation of the fans. Madden says Vampiro actually likes the pain--another bit of Raven's character "borrowed" by WCW for Vampiro's use. "Mean" Gene promises comments from tonight's main event competitors. - Nitro Party. - Luger & Flair say some stuff. - DISCO INFERNO vs. STEVIE RAY (w/ Harlem Heat) Before the match we see the Mamalukes getting jumped by the Harris Boys in the back. Disco offers any two members of Harlem Heat a match against the Mamalukes, but they don't come out when Disco summons them. The match begins, with the referee ignoring and/or missing regular interference by Cassius & Big T. Total squash. Hogan & Hennig say some stuff. - RIC FLAIR/LEX LUGER (w/ Liz) vs. HULK HOGAN/CURT HENNIG (w/ Jimmy Hart) Schiavone & Madden talk about Sting, clueing home viewers in that he'll appear before this is all over. Internet fans, they already know because WCW announced it last week on their website. Of course WCW promised Sting would address the fans, so the Internet fans see yet another instance of WCW not delivering what they promise. And WCW wonders why Internet fans are so down on the product? Everyone runs through their routines, with Hennig and Hogan taking most of the punishment. Liz hands Luger a bat and he nails Hennig as he's got Flair in the Hennig-Plex. Hogan comes in and gets rid of the bat, and clotheslines Flair & Luger after ducking a double clothesline attempt of theirs. He then tries to whip Flair with him weight belt, but the referee stops him. Hogan shoves the ref down, drawing a DQ. Liz hits Hogan with the bat and the heels start the beatdown. Suddenly the lights go out. Vampiro runs in for the save, but no one can see it because the lights are still out. Here comes Sting. This is supposed to be a huge surprise, and an emotional moment, but Madden totally ruins it by griping about Sting for no reason a la Bobby Heenan. (You wouldn't hear Jerry Lawler ruin a moemnt like this on RAW by stepping all over Jim Ross as he's doing his thing.) Anyway, Sting ends up in the ring with Luger and he hits him a few times and does the Stinger Splash. The show ends with Sting, Hogan, Hennig and Vampiro in the ring. Sting has returned ... just like he did last month ... and a couple times last year ... and in 1998 ... and 1997 ... - This Wednesday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Okay, Mark Madden, you want us Internet WWF-Biased Smart Mark Geeks to admit that Nitro was better this week? Alright, it was. This show was better than last week's show, and that show was better than the week before it. But you know what? IT STILL STUNK! If you're stuck in a hole 30 feet deep, and you climb up an inch, then yes--technically--you're better off than you were before. Pretending that this company is improving by leaps and bounds, though, is doing no one, especially WCW, any good. I look at this show and for the first time in weeks I can't point at anything that was outright horrible. That's an improvement, right? But if the show is still stupid, boring, insulting and an utter drudge to sit through, then how valuable was that improvement? What's that line about a journey of a thousand miles beginning with one step? Well, WCW's took one step this week. They took one step last week. Hell, they've taken one step every week since the company dumped Eric Bischoff! Yet somehow the steps don't add up. One step forward and two steps back, and all that. For every positive there's two or ten or a hundred negatives. I take it back--there was something outright horrible this week. That whole segment with the Dog, Smiley and the Demon was really awful. The whole second hour, actually, was pretty bad. I expect a few will say how good Vampiro looked in there with all those big stars. Yeah, whatever. Look for Vampiro to win the U.S. Title next week. He'd have won it already, but WCW didn't want Jarrett to look bad by losing it before the PPV (that, and the angle by which they planned to do it had to be scrapped because Sid no-showed Thunder last week). If Vampiro doesn't win it next week it'll be because WCW decided to wait until the next PPV. Here's a look at Uncensored this Sunday: * Sid Vicious vs. Jeff Jarrett. World Title Match. * Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair. "Yapapai Indian Strap Match." * Lex Luger vs. Sting. "Lumberjack Strap Match." * Terry Funk vs. Dustin Rhodes. "Bullrope Match." * The Mamalukes vs. the Harris Brothers. World Tag Team Title Match. * The Artist vs. Psychosis. Cruiserweight Title Match. * Brian Knobs vs. 3 Count. Gauntlet Hardcore Title Match. * Vampiro vs. Fit Finlay. * The Wall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. * New Harlem Heat vs. Booker & Kidman. * The Demon & Norman Smiley vs. Rave & Lane. Uncensored? More like Unwatchable. Unbearable. Unf#@%ingbelievable. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: East Rutherford, New Jersey. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler. WWF RAW: - SmackDown! clips. The Rock survives the Radicals, only to fall victim to a 3D through a table by the Dudley Boyz. Rikishi Phatu goes down at the hands of Triple H and Big Show. - WWF Champion Triple H and Stephanie McMahon make their way out. Before they can say anything, out comes Shane McMahon and the Big Show. Shane rolls clips of the many and varied ways the Rock got his ass kicked last week. Triple H takes the mic and says the Rock should have given up on them, and focused on going after one of the other titles in the WWF, such as the IC belt. Stephanie's turn, and she announces that the Rock will indeed be taking part in WrestleMania. Not in the main event, though, but in a special handicap match against ... the Twin Towers! Out come two midgets, "Boulder" and "Gibraltar," looking like three foot tall versions of the Big Bossman and Mr. Hughes in suits. One of them does a People's Eyebrow raise. Everyone in the ring begins to debate what kind of match they should have with the Rock. Shane suggests a "Tuxedo Match." Triple H says it's too hard to find tuxedoes for midgets. The Big Show thinks two-out-of three falls is called for. Triple H figures a "Midget on a Pole Match" would go over because "everything is good on a pole!" "IF YOU SMELLLLLLL--" The Rock is out and he's through playing games. No catchphrases this week. He challenges the Big Show to one more match for that WrestleMania main event titleshot, with the stipulation being if the Rock loses, he has to retire. He also calls for no interference, no one at ringside, and if anyone does come in, the Rock gets the win and goes to WrestleMania anyway. Triple H announces they'll accept--anything to get a shot at putting the Rock out of the WWF. The Rock closes the segment out by saying he doesn't have a Shane McMahon in his corner like Big Show, or a Stephanie McMahon in in his corner like Triple H, but he has ... (*pause*--does the name "Vince McMahon" pop into anyone else's head?) ... the People. - THE HARDY BOYZ vs. HEAD CHEESE Al Snow's latest idea for he and Steve Blackman? A TV show spin-off called "Mystery Time Traveller Adventure Hour." The jingle: "Al Snow solves the mysteries, Steve Blackman has no personality, but together they fight crime, whenever they travel back in time!" Blackman says Snow is nuts, and walks off. Snow then knocks on the door behind him. Out steps Abraham Lincoln. Well, that was goofy. The action quickly spills to the floor, the back in the ring. Blackman has beaten Matt & Jeff recently in singles matches. The Hardyz usually win their tag matches, though. This one is no exception, as Blackman hits Jeff with a scissors kick off the top, but is then himself rolled up from behind by Matt (who blows a moonsault of some type en route to the roll-up). Al Snow needs to rethink his current look. Those blue tights are butt-ugly. Kurt Angles bores the socks off an arena employee. - MARK HENRY vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ I goofed up while taping and missed like three minutes of stuff here, so hopefully I get it all down right. Mark leaves Mae Young (who's in a wheelchair) behind in the dressing room, under the watchful eye of the Fabulous Moolah. During the course of the match we see Mae is watching on a monitor, rooting Mark on. Moolah suddenly excuses herself from the room. The Dudleyz have Mark well in hand, and Buh Buh Ray suddenly heads up the ramp. Moments later he's found Mae's dressing room, and wheels her out of the room and down to ringside. (Moolah can be heard calling Mae's name a split-second after she's been wheeled out of the room.) Buh Buh reenters the ring and he and D-Von give Henry the Dudley Death Drop (3D). They then wheel Mae up onto the stage. The crowd finally figures out where this is going, as we at home see for the first time some sheet-covered tables down below the stage. D-Von fakes a run with the wheelchair, which Buh Buh stops. The pick Mae up out of the chair, and Buh Buh leaps off the stage, powerbombing Mae (well, his own ass really) through the tables below! Lawler exclaims that they fell fifteen feet, though the drop is maybe four feet at the most. Fifteen if you measured the entire arc of their flight ... maybe. Boxes and other stuff underneath the tables helped break the fall. Still, a huge bump, and one being done by a woman nearly 80 years old. The spot is replayed numerous times, looking impressive from every angle. MAE YOUNG IS SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT! - Moolah, strangely, just walks away as Mae is being loaded into an ambulance. - KURT ANGLE vs. CHRIS JERICHO vs. TAZZ Tons of heat for Angle during his pre-match spiel. Huge pop for Tazz, who SPEAKS (but doesn't say much). Even bigger pop for Jericho, who does his turn on the mic too. Some great stuff here for a few minutes, then Bob Backlund runs in. No DQ? Guess not. Tazz goes after Backlund, is himself attacked by Angle, then Jericho puts Angle in the Walls of Jericho, then Backlund breaks that up, completing the circle. "3rd Rock From The Sun" star Chyna comes out to take care of Backlund. Angle, meanwhile, clobbers Jericho with his title belt and covers for the pin. - Ivory is asked her opinion on the Rock/Big Show match. Ivory, sounding like a babyface, but actually staying in her established character, says the Rock should win because he's a better champion for The People. - DEGENERATION X (w/ Stephanie) vs. TOO COOL/RIKISHI An okay match. Highlight: Scotty Too Hotty starts doing the Worm, but halts it to nail Triple H. The crowd boo's when he doesn't finish the move. The finish sees X-Pac nail Rikishi with the ring bell as Stephanie distracts the ref. Triple H gets the pin. There's the Big Bossman. There's Kane. And the Rock. Kane pauses to look the People's Champion in the eye, and tells him to kick the Big Show's ass. WWF WAR ZONE: - THE BIG BOSSMAN vs. KANE Practically a squash, which Kane wins with a chokeslam. No sign of Paul Bearer this week. The crowd has really cooled off now. Not bored or disappointed, I don't think, just flat. Kevin Kelly asks the Godfather who he thinks will win tonight. Godfather picks Tank Abbott. No, wait--wrong show. He and his Ho's pick the Rock. - Michael Cole has snagged Moolah to get comments re: Mae Young. "What the hell do you mean 'how do I feel?' I don't feel a DAMN thing! The BITCH got what she deserved!" TOTAL heel turn by Moolah. You can hear the crowd out in the arena go "ooh!" Moolah rattles off Mae's showing her puppies, the preganancy thing, and her stealing Moolah's spotlight as reasons why she doesn't care what happens to Mae. Oh man, a match between those two at WrestleMania would be so AWESOME!(*) [*=sarcasm] - ESSA RIOS (W/ Lita) vs. DEAN MALENKO (w/ Eddie Guerrero) Yup, a vertible wrestling clinic being put on by Malenko here. Too much action to call. Things get real interesting when Lita goes for her huracanrana from the steps to the floor, but Eddie, catching her in mid-air, powerbombs her to the floor! The finish is one of those roll up attempts where the guy being rolled (Malenko) drops down and pins the guy's shoulders to the mat. Malenko wins the Light Heavyweight Title, becoming the first Radical to capture WWF gold. Terri Runnels hires the Acolytes Protection Agency for something. Midian, the new lackey of the APA, brings in a tub of beer. Bradshaw says it's warm. Midian says he'll get some colder ice. They did a cute series of vignettes on Heat where Midian lost a bunch of money to the Acolytes and has to pay it back somehow. Midian suggested borrowing the money from his mom, who drove him to the building. $61 was deducted for a beating they gave him. Well, the WWF has finally done it ... they've made Midian INTERESTING. - EDGE/CHRISTIAN vs. THE ACOLYTES (w/ Midian) The pretty boys play the pinballs, Faarooq & Bradshaw the flippers. Midian runs in to eat a spear from Edge, who is the given the Clothesline from Hell by Bradshaw. Pin. Terri was at ringside to distract Christian during the pinfall. The WWF is totally destroying WCW in terms of wrestling matches tonight. Clip of Chyna on "3rd Rock From The Sun." I watched that show. I'm not a fanatic about the show, having only started watching it when it started airing locally in syndication, but I do like it. Chyna was pretty good. From what I hear they want her back to make it a recurring character. She basically plays a rookie police officer who gets hassled because she's so tough looking. She has a funny scene where she breaks down crying because the macho female alien, Sally, is trying to figure out how to upstage her. - Taped at the Newark airport, Crash Holly is once again jumped by the Mean Street Posse. Pete Gas actually scores a pin, becoming the new Hardcore Champion, but since this title is now defended 24/7, Crash instantly bashes his scale over Pete's head, covers, and regains the title. The last we see Holly he's grabbed his belt, a bag, and is running along the luggage conveyer belt, disappearing into the bowels of the luggage sorting area. - Michael Cole gets comments from Shane McMahon and the Big Show. - Michael Cole again, this time with the Head Bangers. Of course they pick the Big Show. - VAL VENIS/TEST vs. THE RADICALS Venis, returning from a neck injury, get a pretty good reaction from the crowd. Damn, another pretty good match. The Radicals get a sweep on the night when Test goes for the pumphandle slam. Benoit escapes the move and shoves him into the ropes, where Eddie Guerrero is waiting to lay in a shot with his elbowpad. Big German Suplex by Benoit scores the pin. Ross is playing up that Eddie's elbow is better, and that he doesn't really need that sling he wears. The Big Show ... the Rock ... NEXT! - THE BIG SHOW vs. THE ROCK Shane McMahon comes out, and has a discussion with referee Earl Hebner. The fans sense something is up, and are right, when Shane removes his jacket to reveal a referee shirt. Ross is already saying the Rock's gonna get screwed. My own thoughts were that yes, he would lose this match, only to be reinstated on Thursday by Vince McMahon. My brother predicted a flat-out victory for the Rock. So the stage is set ... The Rock dominates with a hot showing start of offense, but quickly the Big Show turns it around. It's obvious that Shane's gonna let everything go, especially as it pertains to benefiting the Big Show. The crowd has definitely come alive again. Triple H is watching the match via monitor in the back. The Big Show is dumped on the announce table. Were this PPV a Rock Bottom through it would probably have followed. Instead we get a mouthful of water spit by the Rock. The action continues around ringside, back in the ring, back to the floor, and back in the ring. The Big Show goes for a cover but the Rock kicks out--barely beating a mega-fast count by Shane. Isn't it weird how in the world of wrestling these heels in position of power have to make sure their actions are in some way justified? Shane could have immediately DQ'ed the Rock after the bell rang, just for being too sweaty, or some such other bogus offense. But no, his cheating has to be in some way legitimate. It makes no sense, except in terms of storytelling and drama. Anyway, the Rock has rallied, and lays out the Big Show for the People's Elbow. He covers, but there's no ref--Shane having taking a bump to the floor moments earlier. Referee Earl Hebner comes out, and counts to two, but is pulled out of the ring by Shane. Shane then comes in and plasters the Rock with a chair. Both wrestlers are laid out on the mat. Backstage, a limo pulls up. The crowd buzz turns to a roar as Vince McMahon steps out! (I guess his limo gets cable TV.) Cut to Triple H, who immediately sets off to confront Vince before he can reach the arena. Shane, in the ring, looks like a deer caught in headlights. He immediately begins trying to revive the Big Show so he can make a three count and quickly end the match. Triple H has cut Vince off at the pass. Sucker punch by Vince! Triple H drops in a heap. Vince continues, as "No Chance in Hell" starts to crank up. The crowd roar turns into a cacophony (how's that for a $12 word), as the proverbial roof blows off the joint. Shane's all like "let's talk this over," but Vince floors him with one punch too. He then dims his lights for good with a chairshot. He strips off Shane's referee shirt, and slips it on himself. The Rock covers and 1 ... 2 ... 3! The Rock is headed to WrestleMania. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Online reaction to this show was somewhat low-key, making mention of Vince McMahon's return and not much else. Overall I thought this was a really good show. Several of the matches were decent, and there were a lot of relatively clean finishes. Some of the matches could have been longer, of course. No complaints about what we got, though. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Nothing else to comment on this week, so see ya! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 226 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 13th, 2000.