Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #221 February 7th, 2000 The Opening Word: Sabu in WCW? Could be, so long as Sabu doesn't have a valid contract with ECW. ECW says they do. Sabu says they don't. My question is what the hell does WCW think Sabu has to offer to them? His offer from WCW is reportedly worth more than Chris Benoit's downside guarantee in the WWF. Word out of ECW is that they will accept a settlement deal from the company in exchange for Sabu. No matter what happens, though, Sabu looks to be done with ECW for good. That's not good news for ECW, what with Rob Van Dam being out with a broken ankle for something like three or four months. The other wrestling story coming out of last week was the WWF's XFL football announcement. I'll comment on that below. People have been writing to ask who the Machine is in WCW. He's Emery Hale, and I think he did some matches as himself on Thunder or Saturday Night a few months ago. When the Machine debuted last week many fans thought the character was a takeoff on the old masked Machines in the WWF. Turns out it's based on a character from the Nicolas Cage movie "8MM" (a decent movie, which I myself just saw for the first time Saturday night on HBO). WCW lost another wrestler over the weekend to injury. Diamond Dallas Page trashed his back in a match against Kanyon. Sounds like it may be serious--possibly a ruptured disk, according to Dave Meltzer. In other injury news, Kevin Nash had his ankle operated on (so that injury was apparently legit). He'll be out for several weeks. As for Goldberg, he's not healing too well, and may be out until sometime in April. And Bret Hart, his concussion has turned out to be very serious. It may be months until he's back too, and I think he's actually considering hanging it up! WCW is so screwed. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma. Hosted By: Tony Schiavone & Mark Madden. HOUR ONE: - Sid Vicious/Jeff Jarrett clips. The NWO members chat. Scott Hall is so listless he seems to be draining the energy out of those around him. - 3 Count is in the ring. Evan Karagias says there'll be a contest to win a date with them. They then try to dance, but something is wrong with their music. The tape plays too slow. In the production truck we see Norman Smiley is messing with the sound. Norman has them play his music instead. SCREAMIN' NORMAN SMILEY vs. EVAN KARAGIAS (w/ 3 Count) Norman acts silly, the 3 Count guys accidentally clobber each other, and Norman rolls Evan up for the pin. That was a match? Norman challenges all three to a handicap match at SuperBrawl. Mark Madden may be in total "Heels Rule/Babyfaces Suck" mode, but at least he's able to make some sense of WCW's angles. J. Biggs, in an elaborate back/neck brace from the Booker T. attack last week, leads the police into the lockerroom. He points out a bag full of supposed "illegal contraband" belonging to Booker. The NWO are on the move. - Clips of Steve "Sting" Borden's movie, "Shutterspeed." (Last week they called it "Shudderspeed.") It debuted on TNT Sunday night (though it was actually on, late at night, about a month ago). - Ric Flair's limo arrives. He and a load of broads exit. - Jarrett leads Scott Hall, Scott Steiner, the Harris brothers and various hooches (hoochi?) to the ring. Steiner's outfit hits an "8" on the Pimp-o-meter. Hall teases his survey, then hands the mic off to a Harris. Steiner takes the mic. "Hooches" is muted out. He tells the girls to tell what it's like to be with the "Purple Warrior." (Family entertainment?) Steiner makes fun of Ric Flair being old. Steiner cracks me up by saying if WCW wanted an old "Nature Boy," they should bring back Buddy Rodgers ("I know he's dead, God rest his soul!") He says Flair caused people to change the channel to the WWF last week to watch "Stone Cold," who guys like Flair got fired from WCW. Much of the rest of Steiner's rant gets bleeped. Damn, that was good. Jarrett makes it official that the referee for his match against Sid at SuperBrawl will be refereed by the Evil Bald NWO Referee (I forget his name--Mark Johnson?). Their match will also be no DQ. Later tonight Sid has to wrestle Scott Hall in the main event. Non-title, of course. Hall doesn't look happy. Booker, in a pair of disturbingly small shorts, complains to Midnight about what J. Biggs and the New Harlem Heat have done to him. - "Mean" Gene interviews David Flair. Flair wrestles Terry Funk later tonight in an "I Quit" match. Oops, David forgets to be insane. - BOOKER (w/ Midnight) vs. THE WALL Booker's new music sounds like the "Leave it to Beaver" theme. (For a minute I thought WCW was bringing in Beaver Cleavage!) Booker is winning the match until J. Biggs comes out, calling Booker a "hardened criminal." Wall hits the chokeslam and the pin, then the police ome in to arrest Booker. That answers my earlier question. Schiavone blows my mind by saying "this has never happened--no one's ever been locked up on Nitro!" Brian Knobbs complains about the swerve Jeff Jarrett pulled on him last week. After he leaves the NWO vote that he should have to wrestle Bam Bam Bigelow later tonight. Terry Funk would like to know where Arn Anderson stands on things. - (Lenny) Lane and Idol (Lodi) act masculine. Lodi says they'll challenge the Mamalukes to a Tag Title match. You know, Lenny's not going to develop much of a manly rep by imitating Shawn Michaels. - TANK ABBOTT vs. THE BARBARIAN Three or four punches and the Barbarian goes down. Yawn. Abbott's former bodyguard Big Al is in the crowd again. Double yawn. Crowbar checks out the KISS Demon's casket. It inspires him to play air guitar. - Torrie Wilson is mugging for the KidCam. - Oklahoma gets the sweet spot this week, appearing during what will be Nitro's highest rated quarter hour. He's been put in charge of WCW's Women's Division by Acting Commissioner Jarrett. As his first act he says all the women will get regular physical checkups, which he himself will personally oversee. He then calls out a "Dr. Jeeter," who does plastic surgery. In a long, drawn-out fashion he gets the doctor to admit all the work he did on Madusa, including her boobs and ass. Oklahoma says Madusa has no place in WCW. Madusa comes out, eighty pounds of breasts and all, and beats up the doctor and Oklahoma. Her pounding of the doctor is one of the sorriest beatdowns I've ever seen. I mean, really, who sells a shot from a SHEET OF PAPER! A quick look backstage at Flair and his ladies. "Mean" Gene says WCW official Terry Taylor has a major announcement, which he will make just as RAW starts. HOUR TWO: - Taylor tells "Mean" Gene that although WCW can't change Jarrett's choice of match competitors, they can change the match stipulations. WCW will pick the referee for the SuperBrawl main event. In tonight's main event, the WCW Title will be on the line. Jarrett is upset over WCW's meddling. - They show clips from the Ric Flair/Terry Funk feud. Man, that was great, but it was ELEVEN YEARS AGO! - TERRY FUNK vs. DAVID FLAIR (w/ Crowbar & Daffney) David lands a few chairshots, then pulls a table out from under the ring. Funk comes back, piledriving him through the table. He then begs Ric Flair to come out. No dice. Funk threatens to put him through another table, but changes his mind when he decides Flair is a gutless coward. So who's the heel in this feud? Is there one, or do they just have "issues" with one another. I like it when Funk calls Flair a "banana-nosed bastard!" Backstage Arn Anderson tells Mike Tenay to get a camera crew ready. - Anderson is upset that Flair didn't go out to help his son, and upset that Funk went out and made an example of him. Arn won't pick a side, saying he's walking out on both. - STEVIE RAY (w/ Big T) vs. Disco Inferno (w/the Mamalukes) Disco hits some moves, the two fight over Stevie's slapjack (foreign object), then Stevie hits the Slapjack (move) for the win. Another look at the NWO to pound in our heads the notion that Hall is on the outs with them. Probably the best thing for him, since the guy won't play anything but a babyface anymore. By the way, where'd his "hey, yo!" accent go? Sid barks out an interview. - Ric Flair ducks out of the building to party with the ladies. Why even fly Flair in for the show if all you're going to do with him is show him walking in and out of the building? How much money did they spend on airfare, limo rental and the three models that hung on Flair's arm? - BRIAN KNOBBS vs. BAM BAM BIGELOW Okay, I give up. Where's any of this going? Fit Finlay is the referee again. He knocks out Knobbs, then makes a fast count for Bigelow, making him the new Hardcore Champion. Didn't Finlay just screw himself over, since he's wrestling Knobbs at the PPV? Is this to set up a feud for Sabu with Bigelow? Lane & Idol make their challenge, sparking a brawl which security is somehow on hand to instantly break up. There's Kidman, Torrie and Torrie's breasts. - More Sting movie hype, and a shot of him on the Craig Killborn show. - Ernest "The Cat" Miller tells "Mean" Gene he's been off dancing for the last three months. When's Miller going to have that match against Jackie Chan? And who was the Hummer Driver? - KIDMAN (w/ Torrie Wilson) vs. THE DEMON Is that Dale Torborg again? Looks like someone different playing the Demon this week. Kidman gets the easy win. I think it is Torborg. Demon won a match on WCW Saturday Night, so he's not entirely winless. Feel free to buy a Demon t-shirt with a clear conscience. Crowbar then attacks Kidman, and bows to the Demon, expressing his fealty. Betcha didn't expect to see a word like "fealty" in a report like this, didja? Knave! There's Sid Vicious, talking to himself. There's Lex Luger and Liz. Luger now has Hulk Hogan logos on his Sting chair. - Trailer for "Ready to Rumble." Eh, looks so-so. I can't stand David Arquette. I snapped after seeing my thousandth "1-800" phone commercial. - The NWO mumble some stuff. - Lex Luger is out to pose and talk smack about Hulk Hogan. Elizabeth stands by looking old but hot. Luger calls out Jimmy Hart. Hart admits that he's Hogan's best friend, and calls Luger a Hogan wannabe, so Luger beats him up. Funny they don't mention that Hart used to manage Luger. There's Sid Vicious, talking to himself. - SID VICIOUS vs. SCOTT HALL We're a good two or three minutes past the top of the hour when this one starts. Sid does a chokeslam. Hall comes back with some offense, his supposedly bad knee looking pretty okay (he never did get that surgery he was supposed to). Ref bump. Jarrett comes out and busts a guitar over Sid's head. He then realizes Hall is going to win the World Title, so he clobbers Hall too, and pulls Sid on top. The ref recovers and counts three. Steiner and the Harris's come out to complain. Jarrett tells them they're either with him or "that bitch!" - This Wednesday: Lane & Idol vs. the Mamalukes. - Next week: Unopposed in the second hour because of the dog show. Comments: Bleah! The less said the better. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Dallas, Texas. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler. WWF RAW: - Clips from RAW and SmackDown! last week. - X-Pac & Tori are out, apparently to deliver color commentary, when Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn & Eddie Guerrero suddenly hit the ring. (Listen to that crowd reaction!) Saturn says they don't want any trouble. Malenko says they gave it a shot in trying to earn their contracts, but fell short and blew it. Eddie thanks the fans for the opportunity to perform in front of them. Benoit then says he'd like to thank the man who gave them their shot, Cactus Jack. Cactus is out to a huge pop. Almost immediately Triple H and Stephanie come out. Triple H challenges Cactus to any kind of match at No Way Out which doesn't involve barbed-wire, thumbtacks or any other kind of sharp weapons. Cactus can choose. Cactus chooses the Hell in the Cell. Triple H agrees, but only if Cactus retires if he loses (which goes for all of Mick Foley's characters, so no loophole is left open). Cactus agrees, adding the final stipulation that if he wins, he goes on to WrestleMania to defend the WWF Championship, with no title defenses before them. Triple H says Cactus has about twenty days left in his career. He approaches the ring. Addressing the Radicals, he tells them they should show their appreciation ... to the man who gave them their WWF contracts. Huh? Cactus turns, and eats a fist from Chris Benoit! They all turn on him! What a SWERVE! Massive crowd reaction as the Radicals, Triple H and X-Pac all stomp Cactus into the mat. - Replay of the previous, followed by a live shot of Triple H telling the Radicals this is just the beginning. Malenko makes a crack about them making a lot of noise. Triple H says the five of them will face Cactus tonight, and any four partners he can dig up. - THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. EDGE/CHRISTIAN The Dudleyz come out and Buh Buh Ray spends the entire match in Jim Ross' face, showing his disdain for Ross calling them the "Damn Dudleyz" last week. Every time Edge or Christian does a move there's a loud squeal from the fifteen year old girls in the crowd. Very good match, which the Outlaws win when Buh Buh interferes by dropping Christian across the top rope. Road Dogg then puts him away with the pumphandle slam. Mark Henry doesn't want Mae Young out at ringside. - KURT ANGLE vs. MARK HENRY Angle, during his pre-match spiel, says all Henry has done of note in his life is get an elderly woman pregnant. Mae Young comes into the ring after Henry has been knocked to the floor. Angle scoops her up and slams her to the canvas with the fireman's carry. EMT's are out quickly to check on her. Good lord, she's not going to "lose her baby," is she? I think ECW was thinking of doing that angle and passed, because *they* thought it was too controversial! Didn't the WWF already do one anyway, involving Terri Runnels (though, if I remember right, it turns out she was never pregnant to begin with). The Rock has arrived. - Mae, delirious from the bump she took, tries to show the EMT's her puppies. The look on that paramedic's face is priceless. There's Hardcore & Crash Holly. - THE HOLLYS vs. THE ACOLYTES The action here quickly spills out of the arena and into the concession area. The Acolytes pause to score free beer. The finish sees Bradshaw prepare to piledrive Hardcore Holly on top of a counter. Along comes Viscera with a 2X4. He's clearly supposed to hit Bradshaw, but he slips in a puddle of beer and goes down. Bradshaw has to pretend not to notice and delay what should have been an easy piledriver by now. Whoops! Viscera finally gets up and nails Bradshaw, who falls off the counter and through a table. Hardcore covers him for the pin. What's Viscera's beef with the Acolytes? Did I miss something? WWF WAR ZONE: - CHRIS JERICHO vs. VISCERA Jericho almost carries Viscera to a watchable match. He wins by DQ when the Hollys run in and attack. They're followed by the Acolytes. I thought Viscera was feuding with the Hollys? I must have missed something on Sunday Night Heat. No Chyna this week--she's off taping an episode of "3rd Rock From The Sun" on NBC. - After a replay of the Radicals heel turn, Michael Cole gets comments. It's nothing personal, say the group, it's just business. Kevin Kelly waits for his chance to be humiliated by the Rock. Luna rants about something or other to her hubby Gangrel. Tonight she faces Jacqueline, who won the WWF Women's Championship from Harvey Whippelman last Thursday. - Hype clip for the XFL. Talk about building brand awareness, there's a year to go until kickoff! - JACQUELINE vs. LUNA (w/ Gangrel) This is Jackie's hometown, so she gets the quick win following a German Suplex. Gangrel then plants her with a DDT. - Tazz music video shows him stalking the mean streets of Brooklyn. Or something. - Kevin Kelly interviews the Rock, who starts off with a totally gratuitous "poontang pie" routine, leading to his new shirt of the same theme being draped over Kelly's head. He has a few words for the Big Show, his opponent at No Way Out, then says he'll be Cactus Jack's partner tonight in the match against D-X, and "on to Benoit, on to Malenko, on to Guerrero, on to Saturn, on to Pluto, on to Neptune, on to Uranus--ah it doesn't matter what your names are!" A quick look at the Godfather, D-Lo Brown and this week's Ho's. - THE GODFATHER/D-LO BROWN (w/ Ho's) vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ The Godfather takes a tumble to the floor, injuring his leg. D-Lo falls victim to a Dudley Death Drop as the EMT's check on the Godfather. The Dudleyz then set up a table, and grab EMT Barbara Bush! Buh Buh takes her up onto the announce desk and threatens to powerbomb her through the table at ringside. Here come Edge, Christian and the Hardy Boyz to make the save. The "Stone Cold" funny car won a race somewhere, somehow. - Another look at the Radical heel turn. - Cactus Jack talks about how he was never supposed to be a WWF superstar in the first place, and how he'll be damned if he lets Triple H end his career in the Hell in the Cell. - TRIPLE H/X-PAC/THE RADICALS vs. CACTUS JACK/THE ROCK As Cactus and the Rock are rushing the ring, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even up the odds for Cactus Jack's team! The crowd is on its feet for most of the match, if not all. The noise is deafening! Stephanie is doing color commentary, pissed that Rikishi and Too Cool stepped up to the plate for Cactus. Talk about elevating undercard guys. The crowd is just going berzerk for all the action in the ring. The acton spills in and out of the ring. Grandmaster Sexay plays Ricky Morton for a long stretch. A great spot sees the Rock escape from an opponent when Rikishi drops the guy with a superkick. The Rock then turns, only to eat a similar kick from Saturn! Grandmaster Sexay nearly beheads X-Pac with a guillotine legdrop off the top. At one point Scott Too Hotty does the worm, which Stephanie says is the stupidest thing she's ever seen. Benoit takes Rikishi over with a belly-to-back suplex. Rikishi responds with a belly-to-belly suplex of his own. Great match, though with a finish just a bit anticlimactic. As the action is again spilling to the floor Triple H lays out Grandmaster Sexay with the Pedigree. Benoit then comes off the top with the flying headbutt and scores the pin. The match went about ten minutes, and was one of the best the WWF has put on in months. The New Age Outlaws fly in and tilt the odds in D-X's favor, laying out the babyfaces with shots from a pair of lead pipes. Suddenly the lights go out. Someone steps out underneath the Titan-Tron. It's Paul Bearer! Holy Crap, the guy must have lost a hundred pounds! He's wearing red and black. Pyro erupts, and out comes Kane! Triple and his army form a nervous looking wall in the ring. Kane steps over the top rope, and knocks bodies left and right as they rush him black ninja style (one at a time). Saturn and Billy Gunn go for chokeslam rides. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: RAW airs live two hours later than usual. Comments: I was totally blindsided by the Radical swerve. I just didn't see it coming, though in hindsight it's probably the best direction for the WWF to take them. I can now see all kinds of great matches with the Radicals against Jericho for the IC belt, Val Venis for the European Title, the Hardy Boyz, Edge & Christain and others. I wasn't bothered by their losses last Thursday against D-X, because I felt it better served the storyline (keeping their quest for WWF contracts alive). Having them beat D-X would have sucked, because it would have killed that feud before it even started (and left them with no clearcut direction afterwards). That's all moot now with this swerve. I think the way they were going might have made for a slightly better running storyline, but doing this the WWF sets up better matches. I suppose some will say the WWF did this because they couldn't get the guys over last week. I can't see that as being the case at all. I don't know if this was the plan from the start, or a new direction worked up because of Eddie Guerrero's injury, but in any case those guys were over when they debuted last Monday, were even more over on Thursday, and further over when they came out at the top of this show. They're now among the most hated men in the WWF. I wonder if Benoit will be the Rock's first opponent after he beats Triple H for the title at WrestleMania? Paul Bearer is so thin now, I think the crowd thought he was Vince McMahon or Shawn Michaels when he came out! Where was the Big Show this week? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: The big news last week, though only peripherally related to wrestling, was the announcement that the WWF was going to start a new pro-football league, the XFL. I've amused myself reading these longwinded screeds, mostly from ultra-knowledgable wrestling fans (he says with sarcasm), about how miserably this thing is going to fail. Don't get me wrong, I think it's going to fail too, but seriously, with a year to go till the first game, and probably six months before the teams start coming together, is there really anything worth WRITING about at this time? People already have the league failing and dragging the wrestling part of the company with it, all based on the two facts we know: it's called the "XFL" and it starts next year. It's a little like a doctor skipping a physical examination and proclaiming a patient dead based on their name and the contents of their wallet. After all, we don't know yet all the cities which will host the teams, what arenas they'll be playing in, what the team names are, what their schedule is, where the players will be coming from, how big each team's roster will be, what the salary cap or structure will be, what plans they have for player health insurance and unionization, what NFL rules will be changed, where they'll be getting their officials, what merchandising deals they expect to line up, what network deal they'll be getting, which sponsors will be supporting the league, how much time the WWF has put into planning this, or even the slightest idea what kind of money we're really talking about here, and ten thousand other major and minor details ... yet everyone is suddenly qualified to offer in-depth analysis as to why this league is going to fail! Do I have that right? There just isn't enough info of any kind yet to go off on a major, lengthy rant on the subject. I can't believe I wasted two paragraphs on the subject as it is. Oh, but there's the WBF, right, which proves the XFL will fail? Hey, I wonder how many folk who uttered the initials "WBF" this past week actually ever SAW that thing in action? I saw the World Bodybuilding Federation, and I have to tell you, it was the slickest produced piece of crap I ever saw. Had there actually been a market for professional competitive bodybuilding, McMahon would have made a mint. The problem is there wasn't, and even then it took the WBF a few years to die out. There isn't any kind of parallel between the two projects, only the fact that McMahon was involved with both. There'll be plenty of time to trash the XFL if and when it fails. No one is going to get credit for being the first to say it would flop. (How can they--nobody's giving it a chance to succeed!) I say we pick this back up in six months or so, when we actually know a little more on the subject. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 221 of the "Monday Night Recap", February 7th, 2000.