Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #219 January 24th, 2000 The Opening Word: Any news yet on a support group for those traumatized by the sight of Mae Young's puppies? It's always easier to complain than praise, thus I have little I can add to my review of the Royal Rumble I did for the website. It was just a really, really good show. How good was the Royal Rumble? I've already loaned my tape to four other people, and I've watched it three times myself, closing my eyes during Mae Young's appearance; like I do during that scene in "Jaws" where Quint slides down into the shark's throat. That scarred me as a child and to this day I still look away, put my fingers in my ears--I sometimes even go into the bathroom and turn on the water, saying "lah lah lah" to myself to drown out his screams. But I still watch "Jaws" every time it's on TV. Mae's puppies shook me up the same way. Nothing much has broken in the WCW Turmoil story. No one is fired, no one has quit (yet), Kevin Sullivan is still head booker. There have been rumors of wrestlers meeting with the WWF, wrestlers turning on other wrestlers for negotiating behind their backs, and so on, but the bottom line is everyone seems to be taking a wait-and-see stance, letting things settle a bit in WCW before making any moves. If Sullivan is removed as booker before February 1st, it's likely no one will leave the company. Those who've decided not to leave no matter who is in charge are trying to figure out whose ass to kiss to get back into the good graces of the company. It's all the same mess it was last week. It all sounds like a better angle than any the company is currently running on TV. A few weeks back I made a remark about ECW, saying their show has had zero ratings growth. Well, wouldn't you know it, the week I wrote that they pulled a 1.2 rating. They did the same the week after, and this past week they hit a 1.3. They've still got the problems I mentioned in that Recap, but it's only fair to give them credit for having some good news on the ratings front. By the way, that 1.3 now puts them even with what WCW has drawn lately with WCW Saturday Night! Problems or not, ECW has always been a promotion which has made more out of what little they have. With WCW, they squander what they have, coming in way under their potential. That, in a nutshell, probably sums up why WCW has fallen so far behind the WWF, and so close to striking distance by ECW. It's another Monday. The WWF is coming off a well-received PPV, while WCW hopes to keep the wheels from falling off the cart. Sid Vicious should be winning the World Title tonight, so lets see if WCW can make that seem like a big deal. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Las Angeles, California. Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay & Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. HOUR ONE: - WCW notes the death of Bobby Duncum, Jr. with an on-screen graphic and three bell salute. This caught me by surprise, as the story apparently broke just a short time before Nitro went on the air. No official word on the cause of death yet. Duncum, last seen as a member of the West Texas Rednecks with Barry Windham and Curt Hennig, died at home in his sleep Sunday night. He was 34. - The NWO arrive in a fleet of limousines: Kevin Nash, Jeff Jarrett, Scott Steiner, and ... Scott Hall. Yay. They're accompanied by numerous women. What was that about Bill Busch cutting back on expenses? - PSYCHOSIS (w/ Juventud Guerrera) vs. KAZ HAYASHI Juvi is in full Rock mode tonight, ripping off every single one of his catchphrases. Can't they be sued for this? Oh well, they're sure sticking it to the Rock, huh? I suppose this is all payback for Gillberg (who appeared like three times and hasn't been seen on TV in more than a year). Seems to me stuff like this just pisses off WWF fans and makes them less inclined to watch WCW, but hell--what do I know. What was the buyrate for Starrcade again? 0.28? I guess WCW knows what it's doing. This is the first match in their latest title tournament, this one for the Cruiserweight belt. Okay match, which Psychosis wins with a roll-up. New graphics give us a lineup of tonight's matches, which I'm too lazy to write down. There's Arn Anderson and Terry Funk. Nash, addressing the troops, reports that Jarrett has not been cleared to wrestle tonight, meaning they'll have to come up with a substitute to face Sid. Let's see ... Steiner's injured, Hall's injured, Hart's injured. That pretty much leaves one of the Harris boys, unless Nash pays someone off, or adds a new member to the NWO. - Nash books ... someone ... in a hardcore match against Bam Bam Bigelow. I guess he means Terry Funk, but Nash talks like he's looking at whoever he means, and the cameraman is the only one around. - THE WALL vs. KID ROMEO The fans, either loyal to WCW to the death, or simply starving for entertainment, are WAAAAY behind the Wall. Squash. Chokeslam. Pin. Kid Romeo, is he a Saturday Night jobber? I've watched that show like twice in the last year. "Mean" Gene Okerlund interviews Sid. Arn Anderson has a word with Bigelow. Nash has put a $15,000 bounty on Terry Funk's head. Wouldn't it just be easier for the NWO to walk into Funk's dressing room and pound on him with baseball bats? Is this just Nash being his lazy bastard self? Anyway, Arn tries to talk Bigelow out of the match. No dice. - Now the NWO are checking out some jobbers who'd like a match on tonight's show. Nash's old tag team partner Al Greene gets the nod. Figures. I think the last time we saw Greene on Nitro was back when Nash was head booker. - SCREAMIN' NORMAN SMILEY vs. SHANNON MOORE (w/ 3 Count) This match came about because ... oh, who cares. Smiley with the Norman Conquest. 3 Count then does their dance, because WCW thinks it'll get over like Too Cool and Rikishi's dance. No matter who does the booking, not one of them has an original idea. Yup, one of the Harris twins will be taking Jarrett's place. Maybe WCW should have known if Jarrett would be getting medical clearance before spending the last weekend hyping that match. - Is it just me, or is Greene made up to look a whole hell of a lot like a larger version of Tazz? Tazz signs start appearing in the crowd, so I can't be the only one thinking that. Ohh--another zinger at the expense of the WWF! Greene's "mystery" opponent is ... AL GREENE vs. TANK ABBOTT Punch. This is wrestling, not boxing, so does the ref actually have to do a 10 count to declare a KO? On his way out Abbott has words with some guy at ringside. Bobby Heenan is quickly (hah!) over to get comments from the guy. He calls Abbott a sell-out. This guy used to be Abbott's bodyguard in the UFC, or something like that. Here comes Ernest "The Cat" Miller, doing the same schtick he did back when we hoped we saw the last of him. Oh, he's got blonde hair now. WELL THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD! The more things change ... Al Greene is loaded into the meat wagon. - BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. TERRY FUNK Bigelow drags Funk to the ring via bullrope around the neck. Then there's some chairshots. Then Brian Knobbs & Fit Finlay run in. They lay out Bigelow and put Funk on top for the pin. Was that a match? Funk gets on the mic and tells Kevin Nash that he'll have reinforcements backing him up on Thunder. There's Sid, and the Harris boys. HOUR TWO: - SID VICIOUS vs. DON HARRIS (w/ Ron Harris) Since they're "Creative Control" again, shouldn't one be "Pat" and the other "Gerald?" If Don won here, Kevin Nash would be WCW Champion. Don thought he would be champ. Doesn't matter, as Sid wins via powerbomb. (Actually he pinned Ron, as they did the usual twin switcheroo.) Mind-numbingly dull match. - VAMPIRO vs. KIDMAN (w/ Torrie Wilson) Kidman's getting the mega-push because he wimped out on his threat to walk. He'll probably get the U.S. Title at SuperBrawl. I hate knowing stuff like this, because it ruins my ability to enjoy good matches because the outcome is set, not because of ability or effort but because of politics. Not that this was that great a match. Kidman scores the pin when Vampiro tries a powerbomb off the top, which Kidman reverses into a huracanrana. Still better than the standard Nitro fare. David Arquette and Courtney Cox are shown sitting in the crowd. Arquette is in that movie WCW made. Arn Anderson is on the phone with their backup for Thunder in Las Vegas. We're supposed to assume it's Ric Flair. WCW hopes it'll be Ric Flair. Odds are maybe 50/50 it'll be Flair. Dave Meltzer and the like report Flair is in Vegas, but has yet to agree to be on TV. If he isn't on, WCW will blame him for leaving them high-and-dry (like they did before, booking him to be WCW Commissioner before he ever agreed to the role). Nash is getting a massage from one of his beeyotches. I'm sure the guys in the lockerroom just love this. - An interview with Vampiro goes tits-up when the sound fails. - The announcers speculate as to who Arn's backup is going to be. They won't say Flair by name, so that way if he isn't on they can claim they didn't promise him. - LEX LUGER (w/ Elizabeth) vs. BOOKER T. (w/ Midnight) Luger isn't worth the elaborate, lengthy intro he gets. He cuts a promo saying his body is better than Hulk Hogan's. Uh-oh. More boring stuff, as Luger wins following a run-in by the new Harlem Heat (Stevie Ray & Big T). The lights go out and someone dressed as Sting appears spotlighted in the aisle. "Mean" Gene accuses the WWF of sabotage, in regards to the previous interview segment. There's a nice lawsuit in the making. Vampiro does his interview, coming off as a normal, not-quite cool guy. He and Kidman will go at it again on Thunder. - FIT FINLAY/BRIAN KNOBBS vs. THE MAMALUKES (w/ Disco Inferno) David Flair, Crowbar and Daffney commandeer the announce booth, delivering color commentary for the match. Crowbar sounds amazingly well versed in professional wrestling for a guy Flair "found" working in a gas station. Flair acts insane, while Daffney just screams and giggles. We see more of this than the actual match. To make matters worse, Standards & Practices come out. They do squat, walking out moments later, leaving Miss Hancock behind to take notes on the match. Later she leaves, and Daffney follows after, intent on hitting her with a crowbar. Then she decides to kiss David. Can you believe they're showing this crap?! One can't possibly be expected to follow all this, and care about it all at the same level. You can ignore it, though, which I think I'll do. Vito & Johnny win. Daffney calls them "The Marmadukes." There's Nash and Jarrett. - Kevin Nash comes out and announces that, for safety's sake, the powerbomb will be banned in this match. - KEVIN NASH vs. SID VICIOUS Nash punches, kicks, does a few kneelifts, hits a clothesline, and applies a sleeper. Sid is in full Hulk Hogan mode, hitting a big boot, dropping a leg, even cupping his ear to hear the cheers of the fans! A laughably bad match until Jeff Jarrett finally runs in with a guitar. Sid confiscates the guitar and plasters Nash. He then slowly crumples to the mat. Oh yeah, did I mention the ref had been bumped? Of course. The fans have no idea what's going on. The announcers do, amazingly enough, as they exclaim that Sid is playing possum, making the slowly recovering ref think that it was he (Sid) who got hit by the guitar instead of Nash. Sid slowly crawls over and covers Nash. The ref, unable to make a call on the guitar because he didn't see what happened, counts to three, giving Sid his first WCW Heavyweight Title. Bits of colored paper fall from the ceiling as Sid celebrates, playing this all up as a major victory for WCW over the NWO. - This Wednesday: Vampiro vs. Kidman. The (possible) return of Ric Flair. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: So much for Scott Hall. How awesome was that, his sitting there for two hours, saying little and looking drunk to the gills. There are plenty of negative adjectives one could apply to this show, but that's not really fair, is it, given what this company is going through. Still, a bad show is a bad show. I can hardly imagine what the more casual fan thinks watching this show. They've got to be wondering where's Goldberg, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Sting, Chris Benoit, etc. There's little sense of continuity from one show to the next. Why cheer for Sid when he may disappear next week, just as the last two World Champions have done? The veils of logic, reality and consistency have been totally torn away. I mean, my god, one week there were actual Nitro Girls, then the next week they were all pretending to be valets for various wrestlers! How and why did that happen? Why is one of the Nitro Girls pretending to be "Miss Hancock?" Miss HanCOCK. COCK, COCK! Where did the "Powers That Be" go? Where's the Revolution? Where's the "Remote Control," and who was that little masked guy attacking people backstage? Where'd Dustin Rhodes go? I think I've just scratched the surface here. What about Diamond Dallas Page and Buff Bagwell? I'm all for eliminating crap, but every so often you have to complete the thought, finish out the storyline. You can't just keep making things go away without having fans ask "whatever happened to--?" I'm actually at a loss to go on. There's just so much wrong, so little that's right, and I can't even begin to suggest what should be fixed. All I know is WCW should be reassuring us that things will get better, yet they're burying their head in the sand, trying to sell that things are as good now as they ever was. I, and many other wrestling fans on the Internet, are in the unique position of knowing why things are so bad right now. But what about that other 90% or so out there who don't have a clue? How long is WCW going to go on ignoring them? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler. WWF RAW: - Oh no, another 20 minute interview duel. I like watching these things, usually, I just hate having to write down what was said. Okay, here we go: Triple H once again proved he's The Game, says Stephanie. Triple H says Cactus Jack may have made him bleed, but he didn't take the WWF Championship from him. Triple H passed Cactus on the way out of the hospital, and knows he won't be there tonight. The Rock better get ready for the date with destiny at WrestleMania. Enter the Big Show. He says he was robbed at the Rumble, that the Rock's feet hit the floor before he did. He has proof. He asks a favor of Triple H, since Triple H never game him a rematch for the title. Book a Big Show/Rock match, winner to go to WrestleMania, and the Show will call things even. "If you smeeelllllll ..." signals the arrival of the Rock. It doesn't matter, says he, whose feet hit the floor first. (Well, yeah it does, actually.) Triple H suggests he and the Big Show team up against the Rock and a partner of his choosing. With Cactus Jack absent, he doubts any of the jabronies in the back will be willing to team up with him. The Rock says he doesn't need a partner, ostensibly making our main event a handicap match. (Aren't all the Big Show's matches "handicap matches," according to Triple H?) Backstage, Crash and Hardcore Holly are hanging around outside the women's dressing room. Crash rags on Hardcore for losing to Chyna at the PPV. He doesn't have the sack to go in there and confront her. He does--female screams result. Chyna backs him out of the room and demands respect. He smacks her in the face instead. Here comes Chris Jericho, wailing on Hardcore like there's no tomorrow. WWF officials break up the melee. Crash think this is all funny, drawing another beating from his cousin. - Al Snow is having a chat with his new tag team Partner, Steve Blackman. Snow suggests a new gimmick for Blackman: a Dracula cape, wig and plastic fangs. They'll go by the name "Head Count." (Hey, it's no worse than "3 Count.") Blackman says that sucks. Snow then hands him a big wheel of cheddar and suggests "Head Cheese." With that rejected, Snow pulls out his showstopper, a copy of "Hungry Hungry Hippos" and offers "Head Games." Blackman walks off. "That's not a no." - EDGE/CHRISTIAN vs. AL SNOW/STEVE BLACKMAN A highlights package shows us Edge's recent problems with the women in the WWF. This match is going along nicely until Edge is given a backbreaker by Blackman, then held in place on his knee for a legdrop off the top by Snow. The ref stops the match, thinking Edge has been seriously hurt. Val Venis runs in to check on his future brother-in-law. Help is called for, and out comes EMT Barbara Bush. She checks Edge over, then decides mouth-to-mouth is just what's called for. Edge comes to sputtering. See, he was okay, but B.B. just had to get a taste of those luscious lips of his. Can Edge withstand all these temptations and stay true to his bride-to-be Allanah, or will he stray, forcing Venis to kick his ass? I can't see there being a storyline if he doesn't (though DDP and Buff Bagwell are managing just fine without any hanky panky with Kimberly being evident). There's Chris Jericho. - There's the Hollys. - CHRIS JERICHO vs. HARDCORE HOLLY Stiff chops from these two draw Ric Flair "whoo!'s" from the crowd. Chyna comes out. She tries to trip him up, causing Holly to come out after her. The action continues in the ring until Jericho gets tied up in the ropes (not in the most convincing manner, he basically ties himself up). As the ref is trying to free him Chyna comes in and Pedigrees Holly on a chair that had managed its way into the match a bit earlier. Jericho is freed, sees the motionless Holly, and nails a Lionsault and covers for the pin. Chyna walks over, hands Jericho the belt, then raises his hand in victory. PLEASE GOD let this be the end of their program together. Michael Cole had the Hardy Boyz backstage. Before they can say much the Dudleyz walk in, offering them props for their victory at the PPV. Call it an uneasy display of respect at best. They wish the Hardyz the best of luck in beating the New Age Outlaws for the Tag Titles tonight, and demand the first shot at them. - TOO COOL vs. CRASH HOLLY/VISCERA Um, okay. Too Cool take out Crash with the Vegomatic, the same move which drove Edge to the lips of B.B. Unfortunately Viscera walks over and drops a leg on Grandmaster Sexay, getting the pin. That was odd. Kane. X-Pac. The Final Battle. Tonight. - Jonathan Coachman does a live report from the WWF restaurant in New York. I see this place is going to be busy on Monday nights. - KANE (w/ Tori) vs. X-PAC This is where Tori turns on Kane, right? Nope. Not even the blow-off to the feud, as X-Pac slips Tori some tongue, then wallops Kane in the head with a chair. I'm with the sound guy here--Kane may have won the match, but X-Pac's the real winner. This must be building to a Hell in the Cell or Inferno match. In our first McMahon-Helmsley Era moment of the night, Triple H and Stephanie are having a discussion when Kane and Tori burst in, demanding to know where X-Pac is. Triple H says he's already left the building. Damn, a lot happened this hour. WWF WAR ZONE: - THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. THE HARDY BOYZ (w/ Terri Runnels) Moments into the match the Dudley Boyz saunter out to ringside. They proceed to set up a table and observe the match from there. The Outlaws seem in control, going so far as to set up the Hardyz own move, the whip and piggyback buttsmash into the corner (I have no idea what they call it). But Matt hardy blocks the move with a kick in mid-air. From there it's all the Hardyz. Bad Ass eats a Diamond Cutter. Matt tags in Jeff. The Dogg eats Diamond Cutter. Jeff delivers the senton bomb. 1 ... 2--the ref is yanked out! The Dudleyz pull the swerve! Both Hardyz are planted with Dudley Death Drops. Terri comes in for the ill-advised save. D-Von grabs her, intent on smacking her in the face. Buh Buh stops him, and asks why hit her when they can put her through a table! Holy god, is the crowd hot. Buh Buh climbs up top. D-Von boosts Terri into position. MONSTER powerbomb through the table! (Okay, Buh Buh actually smashed the table with his ass, but I'd rather see that than have Terri take the sick bump herself.) Terri's dead, while Buh Buh stares off into that place he goes when violent things happen. The crowd is rabid. - Terri's being braced and boarded up by the EMT's. Jim Ross plays it up as the most despicable thing he's ever seen. They replay it several times, including one where they point out the genuine look of terror on Terri's face as Buh Buh launches himself off the turnbuckles. Just as the crowd is about to get restless, out comes Kurt Angle. Kurt gives a tsk-tsk, and says stuff like this shouldn't happen. Just as his loss at the Royal Rumble shouldn't have happened. Angle says he's petitioning everyone up to and including the International Olympic Committee to have the choke hold Tazz used on him ruled illegal. Angle says Tazz couldn't help it, because he's some kind up street thug lacking integrity. Angle assures the fans him unbeaten streak is intact. Out comes Tazz to a gigantic pop. Angle tries to beg off, but Tazz chokes him out again. This time Jim Ross is inclined to agree that Tazz's move is a choke and not just a sleeperhold. Tazz struts out as referees check on Angle. - Terri is loaded into the meat wagon. - WWF stars grace the covers of "TV Guide" again this week. Do they do four different covers when the stars of "Everyone Loves Raymond" are featured? - Even though he hasn't found a partner, the Rock isn't concerned. - THE GODFATHER/D-LO BROWN (w/ Ho's) vs. THE ACOLYTES After their poor showing at the Rumble this is a bit of damage control for the Acolytes, who kick ass and win easily following a Clothesline From Hell on D-Lo. Faarooq and Bradshaw then do a bit of Ho window shopping. - Another look at the rowdy crowd at WWF New York. - The women of the WWF congregate in the ring as Jerry Lawler is on hand to crown the Miss Royal Rumble 2000 Swimsuit Competition winner. Didn't they do that last night? I guess this is the trophy ceremony. Terri, of course, is absent. Lawler announces that Mae Young was the winner, drawing lots of boos from the crowd. He hands her flowers and places a tiara on his head. He makes a crack about the flowers not being wilted like her puppies. She says at least her puppies are real, unlike the Kat's. The Kat says uh-uh, she must be talking about Jacqueline. Jackie points to Ivory and before you know it, a big catfight erupts. Referees run in to settle the melee and check out the cleavage. Mae is then given her trophy, and she decides to whip out the puppies again. It's funny to see 20,00 fans react like a movie theater crowd watching a blind man on the screen walking towards a cliff. Mark Henry runs in and covers Mae up well before the puppies ever get out the kennel. The funniest part of the swimsuit thing at the Rumble was Jim Ross' commentary: "Good God no, this can't happen!" - There's Triple H and the Big Show. - And hey, there's Droz! He paid a visit to the folk backstage before the show. He certainly does look to be in good spirits. You'd got to wish him continued success on his road to recovery. - THE BIG BOSSMAN vs. TEST Stevie Richards comes out mere seconds into the match. Hey, where'd the Bossman go? Test shakes Stevie's hand, then pumphandle slams him, followed by a nightstick/elbow combo off the top. Couldn't they have saved this for SmackDown! - Michael Cole, from the hospital, says there's nothing to report yet on Terri's condition. Check out WWF.com, which will tell you to watch SmackDown! on Thursday. - TRIPLE H/THE BIG SHOW (w/ Stephanie McMahon) vs. THE ROCK The Rock looked doomed, until Rikishi Phatu waddles out to take his place in the Rock's corner. The roof doesn't exactly blow off the building, but it's not far off. We're pretty low on time, so things don't exactly settle in to a nice flowing match. In come the New Age Outlaws to draw the DQ. Too Cool are on hand to help out Rikishi, but some chairs handed in by Stephanie turn the tide. Things look grim until Cactus Jack comes in, and this time the roof does blow off the building. Cactus has a 2X4 and damned if I don't have a serious "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan flashback. The Big Show is clotheslined out by Cactus and the Rock with the 2X4. We're a few minutes over the usual time now. Triple H makes a run for the ring, only to be nailed by a chair, as the show fades out ... - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: A really hot show this week, with the Dudleyz angle and the continued elevation of Rikishi standing out as highlights. I'm running late here, and if I don't quit now, I won't be able to get back to it until Thursday. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Hey, I just heard Chris Benoit signed his WCW release, and agreed to a (verbal) deal with the WWF! A few others (Dean Malenko, Perry Saturn & Eddie Guerrero) will apparently be following suit. Man, there's going to be a lot of stuff to lead off next week's Recap. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 219 of the "Monday Night Recap", January 24th, 2000.