Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #216 January 3rd, 2000 The Opening Word: Belated wishes of a Happy New Year to all. Hope your weekend went well. Mine was okay, though I had to work New Year's Eve, so I had to save my celebrating till the next day. Funny thing, it turns out my cable company wasn't Y2K compliant! Their time, date, weather & line-up channel lost its date line because at midnight Friday night it rolled over to 1900. We also lost our UPN affiliate for the weekend because the cable company forgot to secure the rights to carry it for 2000. I was afraid I wouldn't get SmackDown! anymore, but they got things straightened out and the channel was back on Monday afternoon. This week marks WCW Nitro's return to two hours. Higher ratings are expected, because the absence of the third hour will bring up the average (and hey, the show may even get better). RAW is WAR is looking for higher ratings as well, what with their second hour now going unopposed. Rumors going into the two shows had Ric Flair returning as WCW's Commissioner (a position last held by "Rowdy" Roddy Piper), and Vince McMahon returning o the WWF to wrest control of the company away from his daughter Stephanie and Triple H. By late Monday afternoon the rumors had changed, however, in that Flair apparently wouldn't be the Commissioner after all, and Vince McMahon would not be back yet either. What better way to celebrate Nitro cutting back to two hours than to precede it with a replay of the three hour "Best of Nitro" show from last week! So instead of three hours of WCW, we got five hours. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WCW Monday Nitro: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Greenville, South Carolina. Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay & Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. HOUR ONE: - Video package shows clips from last week. - The chartered jet of the new Commissioner arrives at the local airport. - BUZZKILL/MIKE ROTUNDA (w/ Leia Meow) vs. THE HARRIS TWINS Buzzkill does the Road Dogg entrance. Kevin Sullivan does color commentary, delivering comments that are either so obscure or "inside" that I have no idea what he's talking about. The upshot is Rick Steiner is absent tonight. Leia's wearing a very small bikini top, which brings out Standards & Practices to cover her up. Sullivan and Rotunda knock them out. That leaves Buzzkill all alone to be pinned. Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner, watching the show in the back, wonder where Bret Hart is. Hart arrives, only to be jumped by Sid Vicious. - The NWO attack the EMT's who try to help Hart. - The Commissioner's limo motorcade is on its way to the arena. - Diamond Dallas Page is in the building. Seems he thought he was wrestling Buff Bagwell, but Bagwell already has a match tonight, so he decides to leave. Curt Hennig pops up and tells him the Powers That Be want him in the ring. - PG-13 vs. KEVIN NASH/SCOTT STEINER DDP lays PG-13 out with Diamond Cutters. Nash leisurely drops an elbow and covers for the pin. Lazy bastard. - The entire NWO come out and they kill several minutes doing promos. Long story short, no WCW Commissioner can hold them back. - The limo has arrived. - DAVID FLAIR/CROWBAR (w/ Daffney) vs. LASH LEROUX/MIDNIGHT Stevie Ray, who does a little color commentary, interferes by punching Midnight in the face. Booker T. comes out, and eats a slapjack. Lash, meanwhile, is knocked out by Big Vito, Johnny "The Bull" & Disco Inferno. David Flair is laid on LeRoux for the pin. - Disco tries to explain to LeRoux why he's with the Mob Guys, but the Mob Guys attack Lash. - LEX LUGER (w/ Elizabeth) vs. TANK ABBOTT Luger is dressed as Sting again. Liz sprays Mace in Abbott's eyes, allowing Lex to escape. Jerry Flynn then comes in and lays in a few cheap shots on Abbott. Luger, meanwhile, is horrified to find a black crow sitting in the aisle--an omen from the absent Sting. The NWO try to check out the limo, but are held at bay by security. Jeez, only 5 or 6 minutes of wrestling that hour. HOUR TWO: - WCW representative Rob Garner comes out to introduce Bill Busch's new Commissioner ... Terry Funk. Funk is escorted to the ring by security guards. His first act is to bring out his special "enforcer", Arn Anderson. Funk says he isn't going to let Russo & Ferrara ruin wrestling, nor will he allow the NWO to run all over WCW. Out come the NWO. Funk announces that Hart's match against Sid at Souled Out will have the stipulation that if the NWO cause a DQ, Hart loses the title. Also, Arn Anderson will be the referee. For tonight, Jeff Jarrett will face Sid in a "Powerbomb Match" for the U.S. Title. Nash says Funk & Anderson are dead men. He threatens to find Anderson's godson, David Flair, and take him out. - BUFF BAGWELL/CHRIS "CHAMPAGNE" KANYON vs. NORMAN SMILEY/ASYA Bagwell turns on Kanyon, smashing a champagne bottle over his head. He then pins Smiley with the Blockbuster. The Revolution come out, but are themselves attacked by "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. They lay out Duggan, but are then chased off by the Filthy Animals. Funk, Anderson and the NWO are all (in two separate groups) looking for David Flair. - The search for Flair continues. Funk & Anderson find Daffney. - KEVIN NASH/SCOTT STEINER vs. THE HARRIS TWINS The Varsity Club take out the Harris Twins with a chair, allowing Steiner to leisurely cover for the pin. NWO wins=2. Actual wrestling=0. Funk & Anderson tell Daffney they need to talk to David. She says he doesn't want to see them. As she's walking away she is jumped by Jeff Jarrett. - DAVID FLAIR/CROWBAR vs. BUFF BAGWELL/CHRIS "CHAMPAGNE" KANYON Kanyon is attacked by Bam Bam Bigelow on his way to the ring. Vampiro comes out and is allowed to sub for Kanyon as Bagwell's partner. Funk & Anderson come out to talk to Flair. Vampiro tries to attack Flair, and is nailed by Funk. Buff turns on his second partner of the night and Blockbusters Vampiro, then walks off. Flair covers for the pin. The NWO come out to show Flair that they have Daffney. - JEFF JARRETT vs. SID VICIOUS Sid powerbombs Jarrett, but the ref, down from a bump moments earlier, misses it. Out comes Hart with the bat, causing a DQ. The EMT's come out to help Sid and they get blasted too. David & Crowbar are looking for Daffney. - KEVIN NASH/SCOTT STEINER vs. DAVID FLAIR/CROWBAR Steiner sits in on color commentary as Nash destroys Flair & Crowbar. Arn Anderson comes out in a referee shirt. He clobbers Nash with Flair's crowbar, then counts the pinfall for David. New World Tag Team Champions. Flair then hits Arn with the crowbar(!), as the rest of the NWO come out to finish the job. Funk is able to hold his own for a while, but he is eventually powerbombed by Nash. Arn, meanwhile, is dragged out back and dumped into the trunk of a car, which the NWO drive away. - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: A faster-paced, tighter show, but not really a better one. Good wrestling took a total holiday this week. Again the Tag Title Tournament dominated, and again it all stunk and totally devalued the belts. WCW probably shouldn't have let it slip over the weekend that Ric Flair was going to be on the show, because everyone in this crowd was expecting him. Funk as Commissioner was a surprise, though not one anyone went that wild over. Some were chanting Flair's name while Funk did his intro speech. So Funk prevents the NWO from regaining the belts, but winds up powerbombed, and Arn is dumped in a car trunk. Not the greatest show of power. How are the fans supposed to take seriously the idea that Funk, as Commissioner, can keep the NWO *and* the Powers That Be in line, when he couldn't even do it against a wounded NWO this week? WCW instantly lumped him in with all the other old-timers, from Larry Zbyszko to Roddy Piper. I assume you all know by now that Scott Hall has been "suspended" (said suspension just happening to coincide with his knee surgery). Hall was suspended for disobeying orders and cutting a babyface promo at the last Thunder taping. His suspension will be lifted whenever his knee feels better. Numerous online sources had Terry Funk named as the Commissioner several hours before Nitro went on the air. Lots of problems with the show this week, but I'm not going to dwell on them because they were all pretty self-evident. Suffice it to say that for all the benefits of the show going back to two hours, it was undermined by a truly mediocre effort. A new Commissioner and new Tag Team Champions should have been big deals, but both came off as just more of the usual. Another hour and this show would have been horrible. As it was it was just boring, and considering what WCW has been of late, I can live with that ... for now. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WWF RAW is WAR: Live/Taped: Live. Length: Two Hours+. Location: Miami, Florida. Hosted By: Jim Ross & Jerry "The King" Lawler. WWF RAW: - No WWF logo, intro, nothing--we're immediately in the arena looking at the live crowd. "Finally, the Rock has come back ... home!" The Rock gets the reaction Ric Flair probably would have gotten on Nitro, had he been there. He mentions the Miami Dolphins, points out singer Ziggy Marley in the crowd, and says the fans are his family. After buttering up the crowd a bit more he says Mankind being fired last week was a bunch of monkey crap. He calls out Triple H. Mr. & Mrs. Helmsley come out on the stage. Huge "asshole!" chant. Triple H says he'd beat the Rock's ass tonight if he weren't already scheduled in a match against the Big Show for the WWF Championship. Instead the Rock will face three opponents in a "Handicap/You're Fired match". If the Rock loses, he's fired. The Rock asks who the opponents are, but when Triple H starts to answer, the Rock does his "it doesn't matter ..." line. Triple H belittles the Rock's fans for reacting on cue. Speaking of "on cue", out come the Rock's opponents: DeGeneration X. Road Dogg, Billy Gunn & X-Pac leave the Rock laying in the ring. - TOO COOL (w/ Rikishi Phatu) vs. THE DUDLEY BOYZ The Mean Street Posse come out, and quickly involve themselves in the match. Out come the Acolytes to chase them off. Brian Christopher is set up to receive the headbutt off the top from D-Von Dudley, but Scott Taylor knocks him off the turnbuckles. Rikishi then comes in to help, giving the Dudleyz the win via DQ. Rikishi splats D-Von, then he and Too Cool dance. The Acolytes tell Michael Cole that they could beat the Posse with one hand tied behind their backs. Cut to Stephanie, who thinks that's a good idea. Steve Blackman then enters. Triple H tells him to attack Kane in the ring later tonight. Why? Because Kane is wrestling Kurt Angle, and the attack would cause Angle to lose. Triple H has resolved to 1) win the WWF Championship, and 2) end Kurt Angle's unbeaten streak. - KANE (w/ Tori) vs. KURT ANGLE They show clips of Tori's recent strange behavior. Angle comes out and does his "Three I's" schtick. Kane dominates the match until Blackman comes out. Blackman winds up ... and hits Angle. Angle wins via DQ. Backstage, Triple H questions Stephanie's involvement in this screw-up. She feigns innocence. - Stephanie comes to the ring with three referees, one of which is carrying the Intercontinental Title belt. They replay the finish to last Thursday's Chris Jericho/Chyna IC Title match, which resulted in a double pin. Stephanie asks the first ref who he thinks won that match. He says Chyna, without a doubt. Stephanie calls out Chyna, who does indeed come out, accompanied by the Kat. She then polls the second ref, who says Jericho won. Out comes Jericho. Stephanie says opinions aside, she has decided that BOTH Jericho and Chyna are now the IC Champ. They will co-hold the belt, with each taking turns defending it. Neither look to happy about this. Out comes Hardcore Holly (with cousin Crash), who demands an IC Title shot. Stephanie OK's the match. Chyna gets the nod to defend. HARDCORE HOLLY vs. CHYNA Jericho sits in on color commentary, calling the whole situation a "travesty of justice". He points out that in the case of a draw, he as champ should have retained the title. He says he doesn't need the belt to prove he's a champ, but calls Triple H and Stephanie jackasses anyway. Chyna, meanwhile, pins Hardcore after Jericho goes over and smacks him in the head with the belt. Jericho walks out with the strap, declaring it his. In the ring, meanwhile, Crash has a good laugh at Hardcore coming out on the short end of the stick. Hardcore clobbers him. Triple H informs the Big Bossman and Prince Albert that they'll face Test and two partners in a handicap match. Video package showing clips from last week's RAW and SmackDown! The Big Show blows off an attempted Michael Cole interview. Not a whole lot of wrestling for this show's first hour either. WWF WAR ZONE: - THE BIG SHOW vs. TRIPLE H Stephanie & D-X look on from the stage. Triple H makes the match no DQ. The Big Show dominates for most of the match, though Triple H rallies enough to stay in the match. Several minutes in X-Pac tries a run-in, but the ref cuts him off. This allows Triple H to hit a low blow on the Big Show behind the ref's back. He then applies the Pedigree and covers for the win, winning the WWF Championship in a manner which can *almost* be described as clean. Stephanie & D-X come in to help celebrate his win. Fireworks and balloons make the win seem like a big deal, though one has to wonder how they'd know to have that stuff on hand (unless we assume they put that stuff in the rafters EVERY week, just in case the title changes hands). - TEST/FABULOUS MOOLAH/MAE YOUNG vs. THE BIG BOSSMAN/PRINCE ALBERT Test is pissed when he learns who his partners are, and that he's been screwed once again by Stephanie & Triple H. Moolah and Mae come out with Mark Henry and Harvey Whippleman. This marks the EIGHTH DECADE Mae Young has wrestled in (the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and 00's). Mae manages to do the Bronco Buster on the Bossman, but otherwise he and Prince Albert cruise to victory, Albert pinning Test following a Scissors Kick. Henry and Whippleman come in to get a piece, but wind up being left in pieces. - D-X is still celebrating in their dressing room. The Big Show leaves the arena, with Ross giving him his due for being champ, and predicting his day will come again. - THE ACOLYTES vs. THE MEAN STREET POSSE The Acolytes still kill them, until the Dudley Boyz run in. Acolytes win via DQ. Stephanie's wearing the championship belt--a familiar McMahon Family sight. - Howard Finkel is out to introduce the latest D-X film: "Have a Bad Day." Unemployment office worker "Harry Sacks" (Triple H) interviews Mankind (X-Pac?). Sacks asks Mankind what he can do. "I can jump off of a cage onto a table. I can get hit in the head 37 times with a chair and not have any ... not have any ... not have any damage. I can get hit 37 times in the head with a chair and not have any--" Sacks calls him pathetic for having a sock on his hand. "It's in my pants, it's not on my hand." He says Triple H did everyone a favor by getting Mankind fired, and orders him to leave his office before he kicks his ass like Triple H did. Holy God, that was funny. - JEFF HARDY (w/ Matt Hardy & Terri Runnels) vs. AL SNOW Steel Cage Match. Snow floors Matt outside the cage, slams the door on Jeff's head, then locks both he and Terri inside the cage with himself. An okay match, which Jeff wins when he springboards off Snow's back, onto the ropes, then up and over the top, dropping to the floor. That leaves Terri inside at the mercy of Snow, but Matt climbs in (with busted fingers, which Snow had earlier whacked with a chair as Matt attempted to enter the cage). Matt hits Snow with a chair and escapes with Terri out the door, it having been unlocked by the referees. - "Have a Bad Day" Part Two. "Dr. Hung Lo" (Triple H) of the "W.C. Fields Childrens Hospital" calls Mankind a "fat loser," and refuses to allow him in to entertain the children. He chases him off with his kung fu, telling him not to come back without Triple H. - "Mankind" sits somewhere, waiting to autograph copies of his latest book, "I Was Fired." - Pat Patterson and Gerry Brisco tell the Rock they'll miss him once he's fired. The Rock isn't too pleased with their lack of confidence. X-Pac, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn are getting fired up for their match with the Rock. "Have a Bad Day" Part Three. "B. Dalton" (Triple H) complains that no one has showed up to get a copy of Mankind's new book. He fires him, then beats him up when Mankind pulls out the sock and tells him to "have a nice day!" Another look at D-X. There's a knock at the door. The Rock flies in, nailing Gunn and slamming Road Dogg against the wall. - "Have a Bad Day" Part Four? Nope, it's an actual Mankind Chef Boyardee commercial. - THE ROCK vs. DEGENERATION X Triple H makes this one no DQ. The members of D-X dismantle the Rock, with him rallying just enough to keep from going down for the count. Ross calls the match like it's a sure thing the Rock is fired. A whip into the corner and the Rock ducks a clothesline, catching Road Dog with one of his own. He then DDT's Billy Gunn. X-Pac charges and the Rock catches him with a Samoan Drop. Here comes Road Dogg, but he takes a spinebuster. The Rock signals for, and delivers, the People's Elbow. 1 ... 2--Gunn pulls the ref out! Beautiful. X-pac with a spinning kick. Gunn delivers a Jackhammer. Bronco Buster by X-Pac. Road Dogg slips out of the ring and retrieves a steel chair. Here comes Mick Foley, out of the crowd and blasting Road Dogg with a forearm! Chair to Billy Gunn's midsection. Chair to X-Pac's head. Chair to Triple H's head. Away through the crowd he goes, as the Rock slowly makes it to his feet. He catches Gunn coming in and plants him with the Rock Bottom. The crowd counts along with the ref, as the Rock saves his job. Ross is on fire: "Miracles do happen! Mankind has saved the Rock's ass! Triple H is PISSED!!!" - This Thursday: Nothing announced. - Next week: Nothing announced. Comments: Typical show of late: good, though not spectacular, with a hot finish saving what was otherwise a predictable main event. The crowd was pretty dead during a few stretches, making parts of the show (especially in the first hour) drag a bit. The second hour was much better than the first. "Have a Bad Day" is an instant D-X classic. Triple H was okay, but whoever was doing Foley was just awesome. I assumed it was X-pac, but some websites are saying it was Mideon. I'm sure we'll all know soon enough. They tried their best to make the World Title change seem like a big deal, but it came off as something less. This time it was just too obvious that it was going to happen. I personally would rather have seen Big Show hold onto it going into the Rumble. I don't see why Triple H needs the belt. His match against Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack, presumably) is a big enough match without it. Man, they're really dragging out the return of Vince McMahon aren't they? I didn't see the orange glow thing for Tazz this week. Oversight, or a change in their plans for him? Too much D-X this week, and where were Edge, Christian, D-Lo Brown, Val Venis, the Godfather, Viscera, and all the wrestling women? Seemed like a thin roster tonight. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Bottom Line: Nitro going back to two hours sure makes this Recap easier to write. That, and my brother coming down with a case of "Dreamcastitis", meant I had to cover for him at work, allowing me to crank this sucker out very quickly. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 2000 by John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those of "USLink". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week. Volume One, Number 216 of the "Monday Night Recap", January 3rd, 2000.